Ive so much to learn about this site. i just...
Ive so much to learn about this site. i just posted an update as a comment!
anyway, July 15th seems like ages away. Ugh. Did any of you start to feel weird about doing push-ups when working out? I keep wondering why I'm working to strengthening those muscles! I wonder if that slows dropping/fluffing? Also, getting nervous about the days right after surgery. Some people seem to have such a terrible time! My pain tolerance is high (my daughter was almost born in the hospital parking lot!), but I've never had surgery or been on pain meds. :/
Cold feet! Brrr!
One of the drawbacks to having *checking countdown app* 54 days & 8 hours till surgery is that you have a lot of time to think... & time to over think, if you're at all like me.
So today it's a 'cold feet/do I really want to do this?' kind of day. I've been looking at photos of girls on Tumblr who have pretty small boobies & they look super hot... so why don't I feel the same way when I look at myself? I also saw a tiny old lady in a car as I was leaving the bank today. She was easily in her late 80's with thin little baby bird feather hair... & I imagined future ME at that age, with implants. That was an odd visual.
I worry about going too large/too small. I worry about the pain of recovery. I imagine the implant sloshing around & never feeling like part of me... Nothing pleasant! I also imagine not waking up at all after surgery. (As I may have said, I've never had surgery.) I'm healthy & love life & so many people in it- how anticlimactic to go 'out' getting plastic surgery! *knock on SOOO much wood* I'm also really comfortable in my body and loooove sleeping on my tummy. Will I ever be comfortable on my tummy after?
Also when I breast fed (& was a large C), I quickly started taking my boobs for granted and wasn't even impressed at their impressiveness! *sigh*
My middle name should be Overthinker.
& thank you for listening!
No more cold feet! Post-surgery must-do's?
I went rough a period of worry, but it's behind me now. Just anxious to get the pre-op over with so I have more information! As a teacher, I chose to schedule my surgery in the summertime, hence the long wait which is a real bummer right now, but I'm sure I'll be glad to have so much time to heal before heading back to work.
I've decided not to tell family like my parents or my brother. They live in another state, and I have the full support of my husband and daughter here. I mentioned the thought of a BA a couple of years ago to co-workers and they were supportive, but I've not mentioned that I'm actually going through with it. I wear padded bras now, so I don't think it will be extremely obvious that I've had it done. (The less "talk" in the school, the better- at least that's my thinking.) Ultimately, I don't want to set myself up for any anxiety brought on by listening to the opinions of others. It's really my business and I don't need any affirmation aside from what I have from my two most important loves! :)
I've been starting to think about things I will need post-surgery and see that there are all sorts of recommendations on the site, which is awesome! I'd a bit of information overload though- kinda hard to boil it all down to the basics, especially w regard to vitamin supplements. I'm hoping my surgeon will give me more info at the pre-op! If you have any recommendations- something that was absolutely "indispensable" to you post-surgery, I welcome the tips!
I hope you're all happy and healthy!
So I'm flying to see family three weeks after surgery? I'm hoping that I'll feel okay by then. Any thoughts on that? Anyone? I didn't even think about asking my doc before I bought my ticket, but I think that doesn't SEEM unrealistic... though admittedly it's not the best timing.
Interestingly, the family I'm traveling to see (my mom & dad) doesn't know I'm having a BA. Think they'll notice? Bah ha.
18 days to "Super Me" ;)
I just checked my countdown app... 18 days to go w my pre-op this coming Tuesday! Eep!
I had my hair colored by someone new today.... She's had breast augmentation & when I told her about my plans she got really excited & told me its the best money she's ever spent on herself. Super encouraging, right?!
I hope you're all healing well, or those of you heading into surgery I'm sending good thoughts!
Still not sure about cc's but if its true I'll lose cc's under muscle, I might go w one of these. Right now these look too big when I'm facing the camera, but ok from the side.
I'm in the final countdown!
Monday will mark my last tiny-boobie Monday. I had my pre-op, paid all but the hospital fees, have my prescriptions... Just need to buy some things you girls have recommended for post-surgery comfort. (Pillows, ice packs) He said no sports bras (he doesn't want me to add support- just let them drop), no arnica or bromelain...just ibuprofen as directed & Vicodin hourly, as needed.
He gave me a MRSA kit to cleanse myself of any possible viral dangers the morning of surgery. It includes a scrub and an ointment I'm supposed to put in my nose the three days before surgery. (MRSA is a staph virus that can infect surgical sites. Yay.)
He seems to think I shouldn't be too loopy afterward, which is great. I like that he's not heavily medicating me, but I kinda wished he plan to give me a patch for nausea. I've never had surgery so who knows if I'll need it, but I really hate stomach yuckiness so I'd be totally down w playing it safe. Instead he said,"Everyone is entitled to one free throw up. If it happens again, call me immediately." Yuck!
Still, I'm totally psyched. I don't even feel self-conscious that I don't fill out my bikini tops, because I know it's all about to change. Instead, I'm enjoying my last days of über teeny in my bikini. I'll post flat chest photos!
I've been enjoying reading up on everyone's progress & I'm sending good, healing thoughts out to everyone who's in that mode! Happy weekend, everyone!
All Done! Feeling fantastic!
Here's an update I typed up last night & had posted elsewhere. Thought I'd cut/paste:
So my surgery was yesterday @ 7:30 am. It was all a bit surreal, as I've been planning this for ages & to find myself being wheeled into the OR was a bit like a dream. I've enever had any sort of surgery so I expected some sort of dramatic countdown to "out" with my anesthesiologist, but instead, all I remember is chatting and... waking to the voice of a very kind nurse telling me the I needed to climb into a reclining chair and have some crackers. It ws a bit disorienting at first (someone had put my sweatpants back in for me! Ha ha!) and the crackers seemed so uninteresting and dry that each bite lingered in my mouth and I exclaimed, "Do I have to eat all four!?" They switched me to applesauce and I mini shed my apple juice. I was afraid I was beginning to feel nauseous and they quickly added something to my IV & all was well again.
My surgeon came in to check in in me and told me that everything went beautifully. After my IV was removed he asked me to raise my arms above my head and instructed me to do that once every hour until he sees me on Friday.
Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a smoother transition. I've been taking 1/2 tablet of Vicodin every hour (although sometimes I forget), layering with Ibuprophen at regular intervals. He asked that I not wear any sort of bra unless I needed something soft to hide the nips under a shirt (ha) and I've iced periodically to alleviate some swelling. I slept well the whole night through, didn't wake for any additonal pain meds. When I woke up (now i know what "morning boob" is!) I slipped downstairs for my Vicodin & let that take effect before I started the exercise my doc asked me to do once daily for a month.
Exercise: (yes, it does hurt a bit. I used my slow yoga breathing!) Lie belly-side down on the bed for 15 minutes to keep the implant pocket supple.
I felt pretty sleepy after returning home on the day of surgery,but after a long nap I took a walk with my husband, and camped out in the living room for the rest of the night with the family. Today is my first full day after surgery and I went to the hardware store with my husband, gathered a few things at the grocery store, rested at home, showered, and tried on some of my old clothes to see if they still fit. (My sleeveless tops and dresses don't slipdown anymore! Whoo hoo!
I do feel lots of tightness and a bit of pain which I don't mind too much. I could medicate myself with more Vicodin, but I like to know what my body is going through, to a degree, and I don't want to nap these days away. I do have some bruising along the lower part of my breast. A lot of my pain, interestingly, is along my ribs below my breasts to my sides. I can feel some "bubbles" in there that I'm sure if fluid that's drained down, so perhaps that's why the soreness.
I may post some photos soon, if I sit down to get a few up.
Anyway, feel free to ask me any questions. I feel you girls are already well informed so I'm not sure how much help I can be, but I'm here just in case! Hope all are happily healing, and prayers to you if you'll soon be underway!
Day 2 post op
Woke up today more comfortable than yesterday morning. I noticed I was less swollen right away. So far today (It's 4:37 pm) I've taken 2 halves of Vicodin and five Ibuprophen. Pain is very, very minimal. I've run a couple of errands and now I'm home! I feel fantastic, and I hope the same for everyone who's in the same boat!
I've not been prescribed any muscle relaxers, or even antibiotics. Just the Vicodin as needed. I've been really alert and content. Constipated, yes (Ha ha!) but not uncomfortable, so I thought I'd let that go on a bit longer to see if it can be resolved without medication.
My post op is on Friday, so we'll see if there any new tips then for massages. So far I'm just lying on my belly for 15 each day. (I almost fell asleep doing it today, although it DOES feel weird.) Stitches are out on the 26th, so I'll probably get some instructions for scar treatment then.
xo to you all!
A couple pics w Honeydew wireless bralette
Wasn't sure if I'd be a med or large after surgery, so I bought both. Here's pics w the medium, although both sizes fit. I guess the deciding factor would be comfort over time.
Anyway, so far I like my cc's. I think they will look natural, but I can okay them up when I want to.
Hope this isn't TMI.
Last night, as my husband and I climbed into bed, he asked if he could see them. Feeling a little self-conscious, I watched his face as I pulled my cami off. He didn't realize I was studying his face, but I'm so glad I did. His eyes totally lit up @ he stammered, "They're perfect. I... don't think you needed 50 more cc's." (I had debated going w/ 350's) and then it degenerated into him asking all sorts of 'inappropriate' questions about "When is it okay to...x/y/z, " etc. So cuuuute! Ha ha. I did this for me, but seeing him so psyched was a massive bonus! Also, I've never seen anyone look at my boobs in that way. A new world, I'm telling you!
Today's uneventful. Just hangin out. Not able to drive yet caue I'm not completely off of meds & don't want to push it anyway. Happy healing to all of you girls who are in this now, & happy planning to others!
Day 5 post op
I have a few spare moments to update but I'm on my phone, so bear w the autocorrects. (Do I always say that?)
So anyway, recovery has been as smooth as I could have hoped. I took my last half Vicodin the night before last, used Ibuprofen only yesterday, once this morning & that's it! I always have a low-grade ache which wears on me sometimes, but then I remember how early I am in the game & back myself AWAY from the attitude problem. I learn something new about the process every day- how new boobs can tingle and have shooting pains (not unbearable, so don't panic if you've not had surgery yet) etc. (basically some of the stuff I've read about but haven't known first-hand before.)
They're settling in nicely, getting softer. In fact when I've gotten frustrated w having to sleep on my back, or some random boobie-related this&that, I look on the mirror & think, "See? You look better than you did before. All these little annoyances shall pass!"
Oh, I went out last night to meet some friends who were in town visiting from LA (so I haven't seen them in about 5 months). They didn't know about my surgery & I wore a dress w a loose ruffled top to disguise it (not ready to show them off yet). Well anyway, the husband gave me a BIG HUG, totally squashing my right boob & making me cringe & silently gasp over his shoulder! (He then looked @ my chest w a mildly perplexed look & I went on to greet his wife.) Needless to say, I got strategic about our goodbye hug & made sure my purse was between us when we hugged goodbye. It worked!
So ladies, use your handbag to avoid awkward, excruciating embraces. Your handbag is your friend.
Happy healing to all of you gorgeous girls, & those of you waiting- every day brings you closer!
Yeah driving? Boo.
I was okayed for driving so I took my daughter & her friends out for dinner last night. (90 minute drive round trip-maybe just too long?) even drove the automatic (vs my stick-shift) & thought it'd be like buttah. Well... It was OKAY aside for some tight turns (Thank gawd for ower steering) but now my boobs are MORE sore & harder again. Feels like a bit of a setback. I think the fam is gonna have to chauffeur me a while longer.
Oh, I know a couple of you have had questions about who's surgeon is. Just ask & I'll reply in a personal message.
I can't say enough about how incredible he is-artistic, brilliant, nerdy in the best way, very highly regarded in the community (peers & clients) but I got the impression that he preferred to fly under the Real Self radar. So... Okay. ;)
New pic day 6
Maybe I just a bad case of morning boob after my driving experience yesterday. Took a couple if ibuprofen & I feel good. They're even starting to jiggle a little bit when I brush my teeth. Bah ha. It's the little things, right? ;)
Better & better!
My healing so far has been pretty straightforward, but I've had my moments of boobie blues and wondering if I did the right thing too. If any of you are in the middle of the first week/weeks & you're feeling down, I want to tell you to just hang in there! Today was the first morning I woke up feeling really minimal tenderness (not the usual painful morning boob!) & today was the first day I was able to go out and about and forget (more often than not) that I had implants! So my point is that they do become more and more comfortable, and I suspect may eventually just 'become' part of us. It may take weeks or a few months, but I have faith that we'll all get there! Hugs to all!
A couple of day 10 pics
I'm getting my stitches out tomorrow & hope to learn more about massages. The only exercise I've been doing is lying on my stomach for 15 daily, plus the overhead reaches which I forget to do, but I frequently reach for things during the day, anyway. Morning boob is nearly non-existent and I feel no pain today aside for some tenderness in my right ribs after I drove yesterday. (I drove my stick-shift)
The driving itself was no bother at the time, and I spent yesterday at the art museum & shopping in downtown Seattle. My only reminder to be careful was when I started to jog across the cross-walk. Hello!
Here are a couple of pics from the side. Yes, they're a bit redundant, but thought I'd post them anyway. I'm a righty, & selfies taken w/ my left hand just don't happen. They're settling in & getting a LITTLE softer, (sometimes the softness varies so if I've been more active they tense up a bit) though they obviously have some more settling to do.
Oh, side note- my nipples have been tender lately so I squeezed them this morning (just because) & small beads of milk came up. TMI? Sorry. Just wanted you girls that know that it happens, apparently sometimes. I'm not worried about it because I'm NOT pregnant. *Hallelujah.
My boobies, about 2 weeks ago
I recently realized that I'd never posted a topless 'before' shot & was feeling kinda guilty. Hope this helps some of you w sizing!
Stitches out, day... 13 I think? Pretty lemon squeezy. Any scar treatment recommendations
I had my stitches removed on Friday, I've been assigned new massages and I've been instructed to rub the incisions every day until they flatten. I've been too afraid to actually look at the incisions (and I keep them covered with tape), but I can tell that the initial 'lumpy' feeling is slowly starting to dissipate.
Friday night I noticed that I've developed what I assume is "Mondor's cord", and it seems I just need to wait that out and they'll go away. I've been slowly stretching my ribcage by doin a modified 'cobra' (yoga) while applying pressure to them, and that seems to be helping a lot. My right boob is a bit harder than my left and is taking longer to 'drop', but honestly, healing has been really straightforward thus far.
I'd say my implants have been feeling like 'part of me' since day 11 or so. I only think about them when I'm doing massages and when I'm getting dressed. :) They continue to get softer and they've relaxed enough that it's easy to push them together. My doctor has okayed me for any and all activities, as long as it doesn't cause me discomfort, and frankly, I really love this relaxed approach. He suggested I jog up a couple of stairs before I decide to launch into impact cardio, and that seems like a fair comfort test. (I'm not going to do that yet, btw - I think I'm ready for squats and low impact workouts... probably not going to mess with any real weight bearing on my pecs yet.) I have been sleeping on my side for some time, and napped on my stomach earlier today. My left breast is really comfortable with the tummy pressure, though my right still has some relaxing to do. I've been doing laundry, reaching high and low, carrying lawn chairs, watering plants, vacuuming... I feel good! OH, he also okayed me for any sort of bras, but cautioned that I choose underwires that fit VERY well.
He told me a horror story about a woman who was diabetic/had various health issues, and she chose an ill-fitting underwire that eventually PUNCTURED through her skin AND through her implant! Aaaaaaugh!
Photos 2 weeks post op
One looks like a pseudo glam shot but my forward facing camera freaked out & that was the result. It didn't REALLY look the way it came out but I'm including it anyway cause my cleavage looks ridiculously dramatic there. Forgive me.
Topless 2 weeks. Ha!
Not sure there's been much visible change but just on case...
18 Days Post-Op... Bra sizing
Al's been well in my camp... Left implant is going just fine, right is still a tad higher & more tender. I get deep pangs of pain on occasion but not anything constant enough to need pain killers.
I've continued trying to work out but just manage 35 minutes of no impact cardio (ha ha. Does that really exist?) & lots & lots of squats. I held my body in a high plank position w no problem the other day but given the tenderness of my right side overall, I've decided to lay off any arm stuff completely, for now.
My doctor had okayed me for any bras so I went to VS to be sized. I was a bit disappointed to measure at a 32DD cause that just SOUNDS so huge, & i really dont look that big @ all. Anyway, I guess that's a small DD, given my band size. So I was hoping to measure smaller @ Nordstrom, sine time has it that VS runs small... But Nordstrom gave the same result. I bought a black push-up @ VS, a nude Natori bra @ Nordstrom for everyday (super comfy & not too ugly for a nude bra) & a very sheer floral bra by L'Agent by Agent Provocateur. Kinda cool that they're making a line @ a lower price point. I also bought a Tata Tamer II sports bra (so I don't have to borrow my daughter's anymore- see pic) @ Lululemon. I bought that one in a 32D so is have über minimal bounce. So now I think I've spent plenty on undergarments for a while.
I haven't taken pics & may/may not.
Oh, I ran into one of my co-workers while @ Nordstrom & after greeting me her eyes went directly to my chest. Ack. It's kinda weird because I've adjusted so much to how I look that I didnt even think about it until I saw her glance. Anyway, a glance is all it was & we had a friendly chat (w my arms cross my chest. Eep.) Recently I've gotten a bit shy about site security so I'm not sure how active I'll be for much longer. Just really not sure which way I'll go @ this point... But wanted to update you anyway. :)
I trust that you're all doing well! Happy weekending, girls!
My body is not my playground
I feel like a terrible RealSelf friend. I haven't even mentioned the dreadful nipple sensitivity I've had for about a week... Even clothes brushing against them puts them on high alert & I've felt a lot of tingling, especially in the lower half of my right breast. I think it's probably nerves regenerating. Anyway, no big deal but not a good time. My husband has wanted to have some fun but I'm not feeling all that psyched. I'm a good sport & all, but my body is not feeling especially like a playground right now. Yippie.
Yeah so I decided, after walking around & comparing my boobies to unaugmented boobs, (Did i just IMAGINE that 95% of the female population had perfect, glorious boobage before?) that mine are a tad too big. Too symmetrical. Too perky. Just too TOO.
I like them in most clothing & I like them in certain lighting when I'm nude, but my upper pole is too obvious to me in some lighting. Though wasn't my goal, I've been getting even more positive male attention than usual, though guys aren't staring directly at my rack *thankfully*. Still, for my personal sense of aesthetic, it's just a bit 'too much'. I'm surprised since 325cc didn't seem like all that much compared to most other girls I've even reading about.
I have to caution myself about never being satisfied, so I'm keeping myself in check, but when it's revision time, if I decide to replace them, I'm sure I'll choose to go smaller. I'm not unhappy but I'm still wrapping my head around the change.
Hope you're all healthy & happy girls! :)
My nipple hyper-sensitivity is improving (yay!) & I'm getting bored of doing my breast massages, but everything else is pretty normal. I'm gonna work out again today cause I've been slacking & I told Minibear that I would get back on it! :) Uhm... Oh yeah, I don't know where I supposedly 'lost' X number of cc's by going under the muscle. (I know that's the usual thinking. If anything, my 325 LOOK bigger than the sizers, to me anyway.
Was I just mistaken about what a size C was?
... cause I'm not feeling too big today. Size D/DD. No prob. Depends on the day?
& while I have this sports bra on I'm gonna try working out again. Wish me luck!
Sorry! I realized I had more background showing than I have liked in my last upload!
OH! I also did an Insanity workout today! (Plyometric Cardio Circuit, for those of you who have the DVD's) My only mods were crunch variations instead of push-ups (I'm still afraid of going there) & no wild flapping when doing jumping jacks because those Mondor's cord things are still a but of a boter when my atms are up high. did all sorts of jumping & even did some plank work. Didn't hurt! :)
I'm away on vacation so this will be brief! Today as I massaged my incisions (using a good amount of pressure- my surgeon said I can't damage the tissue by pressing hard @ this point) I felt & heard a small *pop* & the area I was massaging went totally smooth. It didnt hurt at all. I thought I was imagining things & I took a break. Later I went back & after massaging a bit, applied firm pressure to the 'knots' I felt in the scar, & each of them did the same thing- popped! They made a tiny pop or snapping sound & that place in the incision went totally smooth. Given that it doesn't hurt & the result is exactly what I wanted - a smooth incision- I'm guessing it's okay. I googled it & it seems normal. Did this happen to any of you? Also, I wish my surgeon had told me that could happen! So I'm happy right now but also kinda grossed out. Ha ha.
Hope you're all well! Big hugs!
Boobies & airplanes
Oh, I forgot to mention that implants
at 40,000 feet feel just the same
as they do on land. I know some girls are curious about air travel after implants. Uhm... on that note, if a plane was airborne & the pressurized cabin was suddenly ripped open I don't think anyone would be noticing the sensation of their implants either. All good. ;) xx
Air-travel & vacation update
Hello again! I returned from my trip a couple of days ago and, frankly, travel went so well that I didn't even think to update sooner! It just felt like I was living life, really.
Before my flight, I was concerned about lugging baggage around and almost checked my suitcase, but I opted to pack light & brought just my handbag & a carry-on. I had to be a bit strategic about placing the carry-on in the overhead bin (I hoisted it on my knee w/ my foot on the seat, and then upward), but only had minimal tightness (briefly after lifting my bag) on the flight over, and didn't feel it at all on the return flight. Truly though, if you're traveling less than a month after surgery, I recommend that you pack light and check your bags so you don't have to place anything overhead at all. (Unless you're comfortable asking another passenger or flight attendant to do the lifting for you) ***If you're traveling WITH another adult, you could pack as you would normally, as they can help you with the lifting! :) *** I recommend using bags that roll! Rolling luggage is your friend post surgery!
Otherwise, the travel itself was easy. I was able to do everything I wanted during my trip, including going on a hike and taking a dip in the hot springs. Hmmm... I'm wondering if I'm forgetting anything!?
At this point in my healing, the "knots" in my scar tissue are gone & the incisions are flat, though I need to be better about remembering to rub them daily to keep them flush with the skin. They are still purplish rather than light pink (I think scars in fair-skinned girls may fade faster?), so I don't like to look at them really, OR photograph them. :/ I know that will fade with time. I've learned to accept my 'new additions' as part of myself, and don't feel self-conscious of them in public anymore. I rather like them. I LIKE THEM A LOT! They feel soft, but a bit firmer than natural breasts, although when I lean forward and squeeze them they feel very natural and squishy which might have something to do with the positioning of the native breast tissue in relation to the implant. *Wow. Listen to me hypothetizing. I'm TOTALLY guessing on that, girls.*
OOOOHHH... I hadn't told my parents about my ba, and they picked me up at the airport. My mom had it figured out before we even got to the parking lot. Ha ha. She was kinda excited and whispered, "Did you?" *motioned to her breasts* "I know you've been thinking about it for a long time. Can I tell your dad?!" They were both really supportive and a little curious. The whole trip they kept complimenting how great I looked. So... yay!
I've also been back to work, just briefly, and I've run into a few co-workers. No one has stared at my chest or acted awkward at all! The custodian mentioned that I look really well-rested. (Okay!) So far so good! My husband still totally loves them. Periodically, he'll comment that I have a "Nice rack!" (or something like that-ha ha) & when I told him that a friend had asked me if he liked them, he said, "I love them. They are a GIFT!!!" Sweet!
I've been hoping to take some photos of me clothed, but haven't really had the time. I hope to soon. So now that I've talked too much, I'll sign off. Mostly I want to help some of you create a travel strategy immediately post surgery, if needed, and I want to encourage all of you who are in your first couple of weeks post-op (& may be feeling a bit uncomfortable) that you WILL ABSOLUTELY feel like yourself again... just 'yourself' with a "nice rack". ;) & I tell you that from experience.
Iris asked if I'd be willing to post a photo w a shirt on, so I chose a weekend t-shirt that's neither tight nor super baggy, so it doesn't play them up or down. Hopefully this will help one or two of you w sizing. I'm posting three in the same shirt taken @ different angles, because they look different in each.
A couple more. Well maybe 3. :)
Just took these. No bra. Oh, & I thought this was an interesting comparison between sizer & finished look.
I purchased all of my bralettes (not bras) before surgery & since I was always a very small 'small', I bought a couple in medium. The mediums work well for the most part, but a couple of styles really needed to be large. I'm posting a pic to show how this medium is NOT quite fitting. (I know at least one of you is like me & interested in buying bralettes before surgery :).
Holy cow! My push-up actually pushes up!
When I bought this push up from Victoria's Secret at about 18 days post-op ( hey my doctor said it was ok, so I went for it!) I was a bit disappointed in my look because they didn't "push up" as well as I'd hopes they would. My daughter assured me they would relax more but I was skeptical- after all, I felt I'd been healing so quickly why WOULDN'T I already be 100%? ;)
Anyway, I tried it on again for the first time & IT WORKS! Weirdest thing to feel my boobs touch in a bra like that. I know, call me silly. But whoohoo!
Week 5 pics, nipple creams & a boob that squeaked for one night
Hi girls! I. Feeling kinda "meh" right now... Nothing boob related, just a humdrum moment. I took a few update pics a few days ago @ about 5 weeks post op, so I'll post a couple. Haven't noticed much visual change, but thinks keep getting softer. They feel firmest when I'm lying down, more like "soft but firm" and when I lean forward they're the most squishy, almost alarmingly/surprisingly so the first time I felt it! I know I have months of healing ahead of me, but I don't think they'll ever feel EXACTLY like natural boob. I think they'll always be a TOUCH firmer, & I don't think thats bad-just different. My husband certainly doesn't mind! However... They are starting to bounce like natural boobs when I hustle to cross a street or when I come down the stairs quickly. (My husband noticed first. Ha.)
I can sleep in any position I like (don't know if I mentioned that) so I'm no longer afraid I'll never enjoy a good massage at the spa again. :) Basically I don't feel physically limited in any way, aside from needing to baby my pecs a while longer. (I'll get to that in a bit)
I don't think I ever mentioned this, but I do have a patch of relative numbness above each incision, in almost a triangular pie shape. The nipple & areola are okay, but just below I don't have full sensitivity yet. I can feel pressure and light tickling, but not with as much sensitivity as I can elsewhere. When I rub that area it kinda tingles, so I suspect the nerves are still at work, trying to make connections! I can say that it has improved since surgery, so I'll keep you posted of how it continues to progress over time.
Oh, I've read a couple of suggestions other users have made for that period of heightened (painful.) nipple sensitivity so many of us go through about 2 weeks post op. One girl (sorry I can't recall who, exactly!) recommends Oragel, and another actually found a cream for skin that is sensitive after surgery. I didn't catch the name, but I wonder if it's something your surgeon may know about. Anyway, there ARE options, but I didn't know when I was going though it.
I don't have any pain at all anymore & haven't for quite some time. I think I pushed it a bit yesterday when I worked out & used my pecs more than I should have. It didn't hurt, but afterward I could hear a squeak & feel a little fluid moving in my right implant pocket. Eep! Maybe I just released some excess fluid but I'll mention it to my doc tomorrow just to be safe. I don't feel (or hear) it there today.
Speaking of pecs, most of you have probably heard this before, but when you go under the muscle, your implant can move when you engage your pec. Well it's quite true & a bit strange to see, though MARGINALLY entertaining for a moment. It's not something that happens unless I want it to, so I'm not worried about it but that's not a trick I'll be sharing with the hubs. I don't think even pasties w tassels would make that move exactly sexy.
I have another follow up appointment tomorrow, so I'll update you after & I'll take another clothed photo or two. Sorry it's a nipple upload today, ladies.
Don't need to see my doc until NEXT YEAR!
Yay! Today's follow up went great. He checked my incisions (said they'd still fade a lot), said any numbness will continue to improve, softness is good & I don't need to be back until next summer, though he is there for me should concerns arise @ any time. :)
The appointment went quickly, & since I'm hearing up to go back to work I thought I'd try in a couple of things to see if they still fit. Unless I state otherwise, all clothing is stuff I wore before my BA.
Oh, I've been wanting to mention that I recommend getting a bandeau so you can wear strapless looks, unless you want to go braless or buy a strapless which is okay too. :) I like to slip one on under tops with odd necklines & stuff.
I'd meant to post more pics!
Boobs on the Down Low.
My summer is officially over & I returned to work this week. On my first day I wore a white button-down shirt. Day two was my grey tee with a light sweatshirt, and yesterday I wore a black tee. (Black is very boob-minimizing, by the way!) Nobody seemed to notice anything different... more comments about my haircolor (only slightly lighter), my earrings (I guess they matched something else perfectly), etc. My hope is that by the time I forget to be strategic about my clothing, everyone will have forgotten what I used to look like. ALSO, we have a new part-time staff member who looks to have augmented boobs (She doesn't play them down), so hopefully she's a bit of a visual diversion.
So... do you girls remember when I mentioned that my right boob was squeaking & then it stopped? Well, it's squeaking again, although it's only detectable by me. I looked into it and it seems it will stop for good, eventually, but it's kinda annoying because my left is so perfect. First of all my left boob is SILENT, and it's super soft & squishy. I'm amazed at how soft both of them are feeling actually, and the left boob is so soft I marvel at how natural it feels. I didn't think they would feel like that! But, the right still needs to catch up. It always progresses, but always a bit slower than its sister!
Something I did notice early on but probably forgot to mention is that my boobs feel cooler to the touch than they did pre-BA. I can warm them up of course, but they seem to keep cooler than say, my stomach, generally. At first I thought it was just part of the healing process, but now I'm starting to think it's just part of the deal. I mean, no circulation is needed within the implant and the surrounding skin/tissue probably doesn't provide a ton of insulation so I guess it makes sense.
By the way, let me know if I'm being too detailed about it all. If you want me to say that it's all just miraculous and glorious, I can do that... but I thought the subtle oddities might be worth mentioning.
Anyway, I love these things & I'd do it again all over again in a heartbeat. Like many, I wish I hadn't waited quite so long. And, if it wouldn't weird out my daughter or distract my husband, I'd probably have my hands on them all the time. You know, just keeping them warm. :)
Sending hugs to all and healing thoughts to you friends who are in the midst, especially a couple of girls I know (TinyTots & OutlawCranium) who had surgery this week... on the same day! How cool is that?!
Ha ha! I meant "Smalltots"
Smalltots (now Mediumtots or Largetots?) had surgery today, not TinyTots.
Sorry I've been MIA
Nothing too eventful happening on the 'boobie front'. (No pun intended-- badump tish!) I've been totally head down at work and don't even have time for social networking. *gasp*
I guess the good news is that I forget I have knockers until I come home & unwind in a cami & yoga pants/pj's/etc, & then my husband ogles me.
My 12 year old adopted Pomeranian went in to have her teeth cleaned today & she came home minus 20 teeth! Poor thing had more than half of her teeth removed. She's on antibiotics & pain killers, & while I watch her drift in & out of wakefulness & listen to to her feeble sleepy squeaks, I can't help but think that I've been there!
Hopefully you're feeling much better than she is today, ye that are healing up! Oh, I'd ordered some bras from a company called Tonserio. The bras are made specifically for women with breast augmentation. Anyway I was excited to get them because I was hoping for a strong fabric, unpadded bra, but now that they're here I'm a bit disappointed. They're super comfy but I was hoping the fabric would hide any hint of nipple & I'm afraid it doesn't. I may have ordered a size too big too. Can't decide if I want to try an exchange or just return 'em.
Oh, a problem that I forget to mention is that cleavage catches all sorts of crumbs. It's almost silly how many cracker bits I catch when I'm snacking on the couch. It's not all glamorous around here. ;)
Thanks for reading my most boring update! Whoo hoo! Miss you girls!
Okay so I was knocking Tonserio, but I have to retract my initial poor review. I had only tried them in once & didn't give them a fair shake under clothing. I do think one of them is too large (the cross back) & I'm exchanging it, but I kept the 'scoop' & I love it after all. It's like a stronger Bandini... lower cut than the Bandini so I can wear more cleavage revealing tops. I can adjust my boobs in it so I get a little more cleavage (push together not up), & it's so comfortable that I've worn it all day long, even when I changed into my lounge wear. I also like that, because of its shape, loose tops don't fall into the CAVERNS between my boobs so my looser tops hold their shape nicely. I'm ordering another scoop in a smaller size to see if I like it even better. I'll eventually post pics of my favorite fit. It's seamless under fitted tees & camis. I'm a fan of this cut, at the very least.
They aren't exactly sexy pieces, but I wanted something for every day that would give me more cleavage without any additional padding at all. My nipples are invisible in in my thinnest tops, unless I get cold. :)
I know they're not cheap & it seems they should be more w affordable. I mean, it's not as if extra craftsmanship has to go into making them. (They don't have any underwire or lacy details) Maybe it's because they aren't produced in large quantities. (Total guess there) Mine were back ordered, but they did express deliver them free of charge to compensate for the delay.
That's all for now!
I'm almost regretting posting about those bras. Ha ha.
I need to clarify that I don't recommend spending big bucks on a Tonserio bra for immediate post-op use. As I mentioned to my friend Anuta, stick with the inexpensive, über comfortable Bandini in the early weeks. After your boobs start to drop & fluff, & if you want a break from underwires & padding, then maybe look into Tonserio. I'm just unusually "anti-padding" right now, I think, so I wanted to find an alternative. Also, I tried a Medium in their sizing. medium in the scoop style was good, but I want to try a small just in case. The cross back style didn't make any sense to me in medium. (If you look it up you'll see why)
& I'm gonna stop talking about them now in my review cause you girls are so awesome & wanting to do things just right by adding everything to your pre-surgery checklists & I want you to make the best use of your money, as I know you do too!
If you're leading up to surgery, spend your money on Bandinis!
Ah, feels so good to be two months post op! Much of this update I've mentioned in replies to other girls, but I thought it would be hard to find nestled in the comments!
I was asked a good question about how my chest muscles feel and function now. Honestly, they feel exactly the same in every way EXCEPT for when I do something like a push-up. I have full range of motion. (High, low, side to side, etc.) when I do push-ups I feel a sensation kinda like pressure or light tugging from my muscles at the bottom of my breast, near the crease. It doesn't hurt at all, but it feels kinda weird. I somehow doubt this feeling goes away, but I could be wrong about that. Am I okay with it? Yes.
When I press my implant with my hands (up, down & around) I can feel the implant somewhat. It doesn't feel like a ball or anything, but I can feel it move along my ribs inside. That feels strange too, but the feeling has been decreasing. If I squeeze it the way my husband would, I don't feel "implant", it just feels like boob.
& don't tweak when I tell you this but... I had to WORK really hard to make them ripple, but they did. I found that if I stand & bend in half somewhat unnaturally so that my chest is facing the floor (TOTALLY horizontal to the floor), I can detect some rippling at the lower sides. (It's hard to see, but I can feel it if I run my fingers very lightly across the sides. If I grab or squeeze them, any rippling disappears.) It's not anything that my husband or anyone else would ever see or feel, & as I said I had to try to make it happen. I had very little breast tissue to begin with, so it makes sense. Am I okay with THAT? Yes.
Do I have mediocre to low standards? Absolutely not. I'm a perfectionist. I'm also a bit of a realist. I love my new boobs. I do. I love the way they look in clothes. I love the way they make me feel- just really sexy. Sexy to myself... & anyone else is just bonus. Ha ha.
I feel no discomfort at all. My incisions are still purple, but that will take a while to fade on my skin. Once I got some deep scratches on my side (a bit of road rash) & it took at least 6-8 months to fade. So, I won't obsess over that.
Really, at this point I tend to forget that I have implants. I consider that, in itself, a success!
I took a couple of these photos, by chance (I didn't plan the ambiance- bah ha!) this evening & the light looks soooo romantic. I think everyone should pour themselves a glass of wine & photograph their boobies at dusk. You will impress yourself. ;)
Healing wishes to you all who are on the mend, an all the best to you all, girls! Xx!
First post-BA bikini
14 Sep 2013
2 months post
Maybe not the best pic, but I thought I'd share that I purchased my first bikini separates. This was really inexpensive from VS. I just wanted something easy I could throw on if we went to LA on a random weekend. (Our friends there have a pool, so it's nothing I need to put extra thinking into. :)
The GOOD news is that the tighter you tie your triangle top, girls, the tighter your cleavage. It's instant.
14 Sep 2013
2 months post
I also ordered a little swim coverup, also from VS. That, & the bikini were online. The selection is greater online than in the shop & there were a ton on sale when I ordered a couple of weeks ago.
Side note, it covers my bootay but not my boobies! ;)
Lame update, but I'm afraid I'll forget if I don't post it now
17 Sep 2013
2 months post
I noticed today that my boobs were feelin more tender, which was weird 'cause they've been feeling so good. At first the soreness seemed to be toward the bottom of my breasts (crease and upward), but I sat here on the sofa (starting to obsess) I realized it's my entire boob!
They're sore when I push them together. They're sore when I leave them alone. And JUST when I start to thinking things like, "Uh... is this what bottoming out feels like?!?" I realize... I'm in the week/week & a half before my period. They ALWAYS hurt before my period. Some things never change!
It's easy, after all we've been through with our surgeries, to think that every pain is an augmentation related pain. Sometimes, it's not! *whew!*
That said, knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less. Wah.
Ugh. Identity crisis.
22 Sep 2013
2 months post
I don't know if "that time of the month" has just taken its toll on me, or WHAT, but I haven't been having a good time these past few days. My boobs are okay, but somewhat uncomfortable again (hormonal uncomfortable, as I mentioned in my last update). I'm also getting tired of them feeling cooler than the rest of my body, especially as the fall is arriving. (We have our first fire in the wood burning stove tonight.) I joked with my husband that I should learn to knit "boob cozies". Maybe I could make them so hot water bottles would fit into them. Ha ha haaaaaa. *sigh*
Again, I'm going through the "too round, too perfect" phase. I feel like such a jerk complaining, or expressing that I feel it's all less than perfect, but sometimes I just feel that way and have to vent to my husband. He thinks I just need time to adjust and that I'm kinda crazy. He really loves them and tells me often. Sometimes I don't trust his perspective though, 'cause although he's English, he spent a number of years in LA , and women with large augmented breasts there weren't uncommon. (He once dated an ex of Sylvester Stallone, for instance (I never asked who), & I tend to imagine her as someone w/ big knockers, though Stallone is a petite fellow. Ha ha!)
Sometimes I miss my ultra thin look... maybe I'm just adjusting to the updated me, since it's still new. But I remember that a guy friend of mine used to call me "lithe"... & now I think I'm "less lithe". And... maybe that's not a bad thing. I feel like a total jackass for complaining at all.
They're really pretty. Don't get me wrong. When I complain that they're not squishy enough to really grab hard in my hands, my husband says that big boobs don't really do that anyway. I notice that they're more firm when I'm lying flat, so I like to wear something fitted when I sleep to keep them "gathered together" & that helps in my mind. I also like to keep them gathered at bedtime so when I lie on my side the cleavage doesn't bunch together too much. (I want to avoid getting lines between my cleavage over the years.) The last thing I mentioned is just something big-breasted women have to deal with, & it's not implant specific. I guess I'm just still sorting out being a bustier woman. And... that's okay, right?
Anyway, I hope you're all happily healing, or eagerly researching and that I don't rain on your parade. Thanks for letting me get a few things off my chest. *sad trombone*
Yay! Feeling better!
23 Sep 2013
2 months post
I just left Target w a bra measuring 34C! I feel soooo much better knowing I'm not going to have to wear 32DD every time I guy a bra. So... 34C @ Target (they didn't make 32C?) & 32DD @ VS & Nordies. (Bras I've tried so far. It's such a mental thing guys, but knowing that I can wear a C makes me feel more comfortable with my size. Yippie! (Thanks for listening!)
I've got my groove back?
23 Sep 2013
2 months post
Xoxo to you all. Don't let my freak-out yesterday freak you out. (Those still debating)
Things are great, but might be a bit... complicated! Anyone w/ permanent stitches?
27 Oct 2013
3 months post
Hi girls! Do you remember me? Ha ha... been a while, I know. Things in my life have been busy with change - both good and bad. For instance, one of our dog-babies was diagnosed with aggressive bone cancer last week, so I've been wrapping my head around all that a diagnosis like that involves. I've been distracted for many reasons.
I spent a long weekend in LA a couple of weeks ago & got a chance to show the cleavage off. My upgraded set were a biiiig hit w/ my friends (one is now getting hers done this summer). :) Girls who didn't know me pre-BA said they thought I just had naturally perfect boobs & didn't suspect that I'd had anything "done". (These sort of conversations can pop up when you're drinking champagne by the pool, I guess.)
I love them still. They feel more natural than I ever thought they would. (& believe me, I was a bit skeptical in the month or two after my BA.) They're really soft and bouncy... w/ one complication. Soon after I posted my last pics, (maybe the week of, actually) I looked in the mirror and saw them through a different lens, for some reason. Suddenly I noticed that the nipples seemed to be riding higher on my implant than I expected them to, and the incisions were more than a finger width from the crease. (Mind you, this wasn't a sudden change - I just suddenly noticed!)
So, as all good patients would, I made an appointment with my PS, who confirmed that the implants had dropped a bit low (I call it "bottoming out", as I think most of us do, though he didn't use that term.) I explained that I actually liked the way they looked (they have a nice natural slope and "hang" in a very pretty way) and I wanted to wait to see if they would stabilize, or if they would continue to drop. He agreed that they still looked great, and that it was possible that they wouldn't drop any more, but if I decided to have a revision done he wouldn't charge me anything. (Though cost of anesthesia is about $1000)
So I went home thinking that I'd not do a revision, but as time has passed, I find that I think it about it a lot. I wonder if they're dropping further/I try to wear a bra almost all the time/etc. So now I'm thinking that when I imagined having implants, my plan was to have them done and to go on with my life. I didn't expect to spend so much time thinking about them and analyzing them... so perhaps I'll go ahead with a revision in December.
He said that it's an easy procedure, requiring the addition of internal permanent stitches, and opening up of the pocket above my implant a bit. He said that I would be able to drive the next day and do regular workouts by day 10. I won't need to do massages or any of that again. What I'm MOST bummed about is that my incision will have to start healing all over again. Ugh.
I've since read that complications like this- whether bottoming out, implant sitting too close together, or shifting too wide - may happen in up to 45% of breast augmentation surgeries. Really?? I've been reading that sometimes the permanent stitches aren't a fix for everyone though, and that some women get an "internal bra" put into place, which fixes the problem completely. I should probably ask him about that. I'm also wondering if internal stitches are uncomfortable at all, long term. If any of you have experience with them, let me know what you can! I'd much appreciate that! :)
So, some of you may be wondering if I still think it's "worth it". Yes, I really do. And truly, I could leave them this way and they'd be fine.. but I know how I am once my mind latches on to an idea. (I can't let it go!) So... thinking December revision. I may still change my mind, but just wanted you girls to know that it's a possibility.
I'm sorry I've been so MIA lately. I keep cleaning out my mailbox by deleting "comments" but holding on to "updates" in hopes that I will return to read them sometime soon. I hope that all of you are happy and healthy, and know that I've not forgotten you. xox
30 Oct 2013
3 months post
Okay, so I finally made the call & scheduled my revision surgery for December 23rd. Oooh yippie skippy.
I've just started to notice a dull ache at the crease of my breasts (my right, in particular) when I'm not wearing a bra, so imagine that means they're still "on the move". Doc was right on about not charging me his surgical fees, but the anesthesiologist + OR time will be $2500-$2700. I haven't broken that to my husband yet. (I'd quoted him $1000 after speaking to my doctor on the phone) The funny bit is that last week I ordered a custom coffee-table ... costing$1900. Don't judge! It's going to be an epic coffee table! Ha ha. And... so it goes. Boobs & coffee tables.
My doctor says that he thinks my skin is plenty strong to support the implant, but that it's possible the strength of my muscle has pushed them down, slowly. (Yeah, that whole idea kinda freaks me out because I don't want to fear using my pecs in the future.) I just have to take things as they come, though.
My pup is doing okay, btw, at the moment. We've decided against any amputation or chemo (the vet finally admitted that she'd vowed to never out her own dogs through chemo), & she gave her a month to live, but it's been a week & a half & she's good as new, albeit on low-grade painkillers.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, you girls who are boob shopping. Just trust that odds are good that you'll be complication free, & if a complication does pop up, it's manageable. The reality of revision isn't as scary as you imagine it will be. It's just a drag! Xo to all you gorgeous people!
A couple pics, & an update while I watch Netflix :)
16 Nov 2013
4 months post
This is a multi-tasked update, so it may be scattered & not especially thorough, but I wanted to check in with you girls! Despite the fact that my revision is scheduled I keep going back & forth about whether to go through with it in December, or to wait until a year passes. I've heard that capsular contracture can sometimes start up around the year mark, so I'm wondering if I should hold up just in case? (I'd be EVER SO BUMMED if I had a revision only to need another revision soon after.) but you know, I overthink things, which is why it took me a decade to have my breasts augmented in the first place. :)
Otherwise things are great in the boob department. I bought a new bralette today, as I now sleep in these things every night, and this one may be my fave yet in terms of support and comfort. (I bought it in a size small, & it actually gives some support without any underwire or padding! My books are really soft and I love them. I love the size now- not too big, not too small & my cleavage makes me ever so happy. :) My dog is getting around famously with her painkillers, and she's happily made it to 4 weeks post-diagnosis.
So anyway, I took a couple of pics tonight as I've been movie-viewing. A couple of you were wondering what I'm talking about when I describe bottoming out. I took one from the side, which is how I notice it most. My nipples are positioned a bit high on the breast, and there's more fullness below. See?
Anyway, hope you girls are all well. I know several of you have had surgery since I last posted so it will be good to catch up with you girls when I visit your profiles! Happy weekend, everyone!
Just for fun- another bralette
17 Nov 2013
4 months post
This is the 2nd bralette I bought from Free People. It goes on overhead so there's no clasp to deal with which makes it really nice for sleepwear.
No revision. Just good times. ;)
I meant to update over the holidays but I juuuust didn't get around to it. Happy New Year, ladies!
First & most importantly, (as far as boobies are concerned), I cancelled my revision surgery. I haven't noticed any additional shifting (for those of you that haven't been following, my implants dropped a bit low after surgery) and frankly, I just like them the way they are. I figured that another surgery could result in capsular contracture or who knows what else, so... I'm just holding tight. If it becomes an issue, or if other complications arise, I'll see more worth in a revision.
I'm so accustomed to them that I can hardly remember being small breasted. I can still wear every article of clothing I owned before, but it all just looks better! For a while, I thought they were a bit big, but I feel like they're totally great now. I wouldn't want to go larger or smaller! Yay! Two things: now that I'm 6 mos post op, I can say with confidence that if you get them under the muscle you will always feel them when doing things like push-ups. But it's worth it! And it doesn't hurt when you life weights or engage your pecs- it just feels "different". Also, I had my first massage. While lying on my bed (belly down) is totally comfy, lying on a massage bed is less so. It was hard for me to completely relax at first, because I felt a lot of pressure on my natural breast tissue. Still, the massage was good. Guess we can't have it all. Big, beautiful natural boobs eventually sag, and implanted boobs can take some pampering out of a massage. I'm okay with that! Really, most of the time, I don't think of them at all. I'm just me!
I went to visit my parents over the holidays & I'd forgotten that my mom hadn't seen me in a bra (just fully clothed before) & as she saw me changing shirts she squealed, "Oooh, PRETTY!" & immediately lunged at me & tugged my right cup open to take a better look. When she saw my shock, she apologized & said she just couldn't help it. Bah ha. Moms & personal space don't go hand in hand, no matter your age, I guess!
I apologize for being such an absent RealSelf friend but if anything, I hope you see that as a good thing.
Boobies are a good, good thing. Xoxox!
Photos & cup size advice
16 Jan 2014
6 months post
Hello, you beautiful RealSelf ladies. I've been shopping lately & thought I'd post a pic while I'm enjoying my day at home! One word of advice about cup size, ye prospective augmentation clients- don't get too wrapped up in achieving a cup size. Find the LOOK that you want & go with it. For instance... I was sized at 32DD. I can wear 32DD from VS & Nordstrom beautifully. But I can also wear 34C from Target & 32D in random bras. (The pic I'm posting today is a new 32D.) cup size... doesn't mean as much as you may think!
Hope you're all happy & healthy! Xx
Random super fast update
19 Feb 2014
7 months post
I went climbing @ the climbing gym yesterday & I didn't even notice them! Success!!
Xox beautiful ladies!
10 months post op
15 May 2014
10 months post
Hard to believe it's been nearly a year. I just feel like 'myself' these days & not as if I'm presenting anything artificial to the world. I'm still me, but I fit my clothing better than before. Even my tiniest dresses that I never thought I'd be able to wear post BA somehow (magically?) fit!
I will say that I'm not a fan of padded bras unless I want to draw more attention to myself for a night out, but I love how they look in sheerer bras. I'm posting a pic I just took of me in a sports bra. I've seen girls at the gym who have a very augmented look, but I don't think I'm one of them, which makes me glad. (I know some girls want that, which is great- but I didn't.)
I'm still toying with the idea of revision because I feel like my incisions are ever so slowly moving upward, away from the crease. I could be imagining things though. Does anyone know what internal stitches look like after surgery? That's my only issue really- I wonder if I'd be left with awkward lines or creases. I'll keep you posted. Maybe I'll schedule a follow up w my doc in the next month or so.
Overall I'm glad I did it & I'd do it again, without a doubt. I don't know why I waited so long in the first place. :) Hugs to you all & I hope you're well!