Quick history of my breasts:
2000, had my...
Quick history of my breasts:
2000, had my first child and nursed her... well of course it's the pregnancy that wreaked havoc on my boobs, not the breastfeeding itself. I went from perky pink nippled 34Bs to huge saggy, dark dinner plate aerolas. I wore 34D while nursing. After weaning, you can imagine how shrunken and deflated they were.
Had another baby in 2001.
2002- breast lift ONLY.. almost got the implants, but decided to be "natural" and just go with a lift. They looked AMAZING! Was very happy with the lift. Full anchor mastopexy. THEN, I got pregnant a few months later (we weren't good about using birth control in my first marriage lol).
2003- have a baby, breastfeed successfully with the lift.
.. after weaning I decide I want to bring back the fullness, and since I had considered implants in the past, the yearning for big round boobs never really left me. My husband at the time was a "boob man" so that was also a huge influence.
2005- 350cc smooth round saline implants placed under the muscle. I am 23 years old at this point. AND I get pregnant within a few months LOL
go through pregnancy, and breastfeeding with the new implants.. do manage to breastfeed successfully w/ the implants. But now they are just downright ENORMOUS! This is the first time I consider having them removed.. but I figure when I'm done nursing they will shrink back down and I'll be happy.
So they do shrink back down to 34D.. and I'm starting to like them again.
at this point I'm about age 25. I have divorced the first husband and in the midst of meeting my future husband. We fall in love and do what I do best, make a baby! lol
2008, have another baby, I nurse him the longest of all my kids 23 months.
2011, we have another baby, I nurse her 15 months.
So all along the last 5 or so years that nagging feeling of wanting my implants out has been hitting me. My daughters are getting older and I don't want them to have unrealistic expectations of how their boobs should look. I recently told them that my boobs were fake and they had NO idea.
I am now a 32DDD or 34DD.. so I don't know if I've grown or what? I haven't really gained much weight over the years. I give my implants credit that they never gave me any serious issues.. I have some wrinkling, and they are annoying at times, make me look bigger overall than I really am in certain clothes, and garner attention I'd rather not have, I miss laying on my stomach.. I haven't been able to FULLY enjoy a massage in over 8 years because it's so uncomfortable to lay on them.
I just want to be natural. I want to set an example for my children, that you should feel comfortable in your own skin. I want my sons to have realistic expectations of what boobs should look like.
Our society is perpetuating this facade of what "beautiful breasts" should be.. most of us don't have the "perfect breast" we're expected to have. So we get surgery to live up to those expectations.
I think things are changing though. I've struggled to buy attractive clothing the last 5 years because it seems a lot of fashions are now being made for smaller chests. I hate to say it, but I perused the "breast implant" review section and I felt the women just looked so silly. I am just SO over having big boobs. SO over it.
Ok, so if I have them out, what will I be left with? Remember, I've had 3 kids with these implants, my boobs have ballooned to letters I didn't know existed in bra manufacturing and then shrunk back down to D range. I have loose skin, I have stretch marks.
I don't think it will be a "pretty" sight lol. And I don't really care.
I plan to rock it, swing low sweet chariot!
If they really bother me in a year, I will get some kind of lift.
But I'd really rather not if I don't have to, haven't my breasts been through enough?
A mastopexy, then implants a few years later, breastfed 6 children! I just want to nurture these poor things!
I will probably get up the courage to post some pics soon. I have a consultation in 2 weeks. I've spoken with a couple other surgeons through email as well. When I have it all decided then I will put the info in. I am in Phoenix, AZ area.
I really want it to be done under local anesthesia and the surgeon I see in a couple weeks is cool with that. I've had other surgeries related to other things and I'm sick of being put under general anesthesia. Especially if I plan a lift in the future, obviously I will need to be put under general for that. So if possible, I'd like the removal process to be as smooth as possible. Just cut and slide it out. My skin is so thin under my breast (more so on the left side) I can literally feel and pinch my implant bag.. my husband says it feels like a grocery bag LOL
He's being pretty supportive.. he just wants me happy, and he's never been the "boob man" type. So I am thankful for that.
Ok, I will update as things progress :)
I wish I could edit my first post lol, I think I...
I wish I could edit my first post lol, I think I said almost too much, I hope it's not offensive. I don't mean to sound like implants are grotesque, just that I no longer find the look attractive as I used to. Sorry if my first post is crass.
Ok.. so I'm adding some pics. Can't wait for my consultation the 8th!
Why are my pics upside down? LOL they aren't...
Why are my pics upside down? LOL they aren't upside down on my computer... oh geeze.. let me try this again lol
had my consultation and was not feeling...
had my consultation and was not feeling this dude. He seemed distant, monotone, best way to describe.. he was just "whatever" about everything. It was weird and I am not sure I can feel comfortable with someone going into surgery with a "whatever" attitude.
So I have another consult with someone else next Thursday, Valentine's Day!
Hope I find someone I'm comfortable with soon!
Had another consult today. It went GREAT! This PS...
Had another consult today. It went GREAT! This PS made me feel so much more comfortable and empowered with my decision to explant. I felt at ease and the whole staff was great! He's 2k more than the other PS I saw, but I think it will be worth it. Not sure if I want to check out anymore PS's, this guy was fantastic! Now to talk to the husband about the price lol
Still waiting for my tax return.. getting so...
Still waiting for my tax return.. getting so impatient, I want to schedule my explant! Now that the funds are taking so long, I won't be able to schedule during my Spring break as I hoped. Next best option is to schedule in May after spring semester ends, before summer semester begins. Hubby wants to go on a mini cruise mid-May.. I was hoping to be implant-free for the cruise.. we'll see.
I want to add more info about the consultation I...
I want to add more info about the consultation I had with the 2nd PS and why I want to go with him. The first surgeon kind of crippled my confidence in going further with explant. The 2nd guy was great, and he informed me that the reason one breast sits higher than the other is because of scar tissue, so I can't just have a simple removal with out removing that scar tissue or it could cause some distortion in the breast as I heal. This made a lot of sense and I was impressed with his thoroughness, vs. the 1st PS I saw who was like "Sure, it's your choice, I'll take them out." but did not address the scar tissue.
The staff at the 2nd PS was very friendly, everyone was great.
the 2nd PS also feels my nipple is in good position so that I may not need a lift.. I'll probably have "pseudoptosis" but my nipple will most likely remain in a good position. So that made me feel real good!
My skin is stretched, and although you can't see the stretchmarks in my photos, I have them! I am very concerned about that. I'm 31, am I young enough for my skin to retract? My belly has done alright contracting after 6 kids! lol should that give me hope?
Ok ladies! Everything fell into place, I was able...
Ok ladies! Everything fell into place, I was able to call and schedule my surgery. March 28th! I'm SO excited! I honestly don't think I was this excited to get implants in.. I remember being just a thing to do.. but removing them feels like this great liberating journey I'm about to embark on LOL! I woke up feeling a bit nervous and really asking myself if I am ready for this.. again my skin elasticity is not so great, I'm already covered in stretch marks, yikes! But whatever, I know I don't want to live with implants, so I will accept whatever outcome I get!
3.5 weeks to go!
Well I found this to be interesting. I was looking...
Well I found this to be interesting. I was looking at my Mentor Implant ID card, it's been kicking around for 8 years and scruffy looking lol but anyways, I looked up the model # for my implants on the Mentor site and saw that the nominal fill is 300cc and Max fill is 325cc, I always thought I was 350cc, I can't remember if I thought that because I was told by the surgeon or if I assumed because "350" is in the model number. I know my implants are not overfilled so I am def
Oops it cut me off lol. I know my implants are not...
oops it cut me off lol. I know my implants are not overfilled so I am under 325cc... it's not really a big deal, the difference from 300-350 is quite small, but I just find it so interesting that for 8 years I thought I was 350cc, but I am probably closer to 300cc. Hm.
Ok, going to add some more pictures! I managed to...
Ok, going to add some more pictures! I managed to find my pre-BA photos taken the day before my surgery! And then my immediately after BA photo, my how they have changed after 8 years and 3 nurslings! lol
Surgery in 8 days!
Ok so for the past week I've...
Surgery in 8 days!
Ok so for the past week I've been using this boob tube cream, yes I still have my implants in but my skin is thin and loose with stretchmarks so I figured it wouldn't hurt to start the cream now.
I might be crazy but after a week of using this twice a day I really think I notice a difference. It's subtle, but it's convinced me to use this lotion after my explant! I'll take any help my skin can get! lol
2 more days until explant day! I have been SUPER...
2 more days until explant day! I have been SUPER busy this last week we've been moving! I have so much unpacking to do before Thursday! Ok so my surgery is at 12:30 in the afternoon so don't expect my update until late evening on Thursday (pacific time). I'm really excited! Scared about going under and all that but mentally ready to get rid of these implants!
Ok back to unpacking.. I added a pic with pens under my boobs inspired by Nervous Girlie's pencil pic lol
What kind of shirt did you wear? I think I...
28 Mar 2013
Day of treatment
What kind of shirt did you wear? I think I remember wearing button down stuff to my other breast surgeries.. but I don't have any button down shirts now lol argh! What do I wear?
Ok picked up a shirt at Kmart, leaving in a half...
28 Mar 2013
Day of treatment
Ok picked up a shirt at Kmart, leaving in a half hour.. I'll update after the surgery! Thanks for all the support ladies!!! You're awesome!
On my way home! I feel really good! The incision...
28 Mar 2013
Day of treatment
On my way home! I feel really good! The incision area stings but no pain otherwise. The drugs are still in my system cause I feel goooooood lol
I already feel lighter! I added a pic of the implants!
Well I slept about 4 hours last night, it was a...
Well I slept about 4 hours last night, it was a challenge to get comfortable in an upright back position. And my 2 and 4 year old still sleep with us and I was paranoid of a limb smacking my chest.. Tonight we'll have to get them in their own beds cause i had much anxiety with them next to me, even though I love them lol. My throat is sore today but other than that I feel great! I have only taken Tylenol so far and that was over 12 hours ago so my pain is minimal! Hubby has done great, cooked us an amazing dinner last night and caring for the house (unpacking since we just moved in). He is in good spirits which helps me, so far he approves of the new look lol. He said I'm still sexy and beautiful and.. So skinny! Lol says he never realized how skinny I was with the boobs lol.
Ok so I weighed my implants and will add a pic, almost 2 pounds!
I've been feeling good today. Tomorrow is the big...
I've been feeling good today. Tomorrow is the big reveal, around 3 or 4 pm I will take this bandage wrap off.. I've been trying to sneak peeks and got a lil peek a second ago and it was quite wrinkly lol oh man I don't know if I want to look tomorrow! I'll just wear this bandage forever! lol
I just have to remind myself that it takes a good 6-12 months for the skin to retract!
Ok so anyone experience a sloshing/popping sensation? It's weird lol
Also, everyone keeps talking about "compression" bras and such. My PS wants me to just wear a cami top (the kind that does not have a built in shelf bra), and just that for a month, then I can wear a bra. When I asked the asst lady about compression she said the tissue is all attached to the muscle and since my implants were under the muscle there's no need to try and compress the tissue to anything cause it already is. Does that sound ok?
I know all PS's do things differently but I feel like the only one being told to just wear a plain cami top as a bra for the next month and no compression.
Thx for the comments ladies, I really appreciate it! We'll see if I get up the courage to post pics of the reveal tomorrow, eeeek!
Ok, my first look finally.. well about what I was...
Ok, my first look finally.. well about what I was expecting. They are empty, wrinkly, squishy, vulnerable lol.
The pics I'll post are immediately after removal of the bandages. 48 hours post-op. I will take more pics in a couple days, try to get the surgical markers all washed off.
Hubby hasn't seen, but he's seen me in the cami top and says I look hot and he's very impressed so that's good! lol
I will prob wait at least a week before I show him, I don't want to traumatize him lol
Finally took a shower.. Tried to wash away the...
Finally took a shower.. Tried to wash away the nastiness and surgical marker. I'm ok with my progress, one thing that disturbs me a bit is the sunken-ness... Like if you ran your hand down my chest you can feel a very obvious indentation. I'm hoping that fluffing will fill that in a bit.
I am still badly bruised underneath, I've been taking my arnica Montana religiously so hopefully the bruises fade soon. I don't think I'm too badly swollen at this point. The surg asst was sure to tell me I'll be swollen at first so don't get too excited lol.. It's confusing to me, how can they be both swollen and squished flat needing fluffing. Such a strange experience but I'm happy to be implant free! Emotionally I feel really good! Physically I've been feeling tired, haven't been sleeping too well and it's catching up to me. Can't wait to be healed enough to where I can roll around during the night lol.
I took a pic with my bathroom light off and I don't look so bad in the dark lol.. Maybe I'll show both light on and off pics lol.
Ok then no more pics until these bruises go away!
Thanks for the support and comments ladies, I really appreciate it :)
Thanks for all the sweet words ladies.. My...
Thanks for all the sweet words ladies.. My computer is acting up and just replying with my phone so my replies may be slow. I hope my pics don't scare anyone off, remember I nursed 3 babies with them implants.
I am still happy to be implant free and I love the way I look in clothes. But I admit I am hoping for some fluffing and wrinkle smoothing :)
So obviously my boobs aren't the most flattering...
So obviously my boobs aren't the most flattering in clothes without a push-up bra, I patiently await for the day I can push these ladies up! But I was too anxious to wait and see how I look now with cami top supported boobs under a shirt I took pics in the morning of my explant. I rarely wore tight shirts with the implants because I just looked obscene as evidenced in the above photo. I just look more like a normal person now!!! I love it!!!
1 week post op! Feeling good! Anxious to buy bras,...
1 week post op! Feeling good! Anxious to buy bras, PS said to wait a month. Had my post op yesterday. I'm healing well it seems.. I still hear/feel some sloshing in there so I know there's still some fluid but not much. He said he cleaned me out good lol, no troublesome scar tissue left behind. Still hoping for fluffing and less wrinkling but I'm SO happy to be implant free, and I look good in clothes so it's all good lol Hubby is still sweet and loving, so glad he was never a boob man, his continued support has made this journey much easier. When I had implants and would pass other women with implants I felt I was "keeping up" with them. Today I passed a lady with implants and I just smiled thinking "glad that's not me" lol. Ok 1 week photos posted! I'll update again 2-4 weeks.
2 week post op photos.. They seem less flattened.....
2 week post op photos.. They seem less flattened.. So I think there may have been some fluffing. I no longer hear or feel sloshing so I think the fluid is gone, swelling down, if this is what I'm left with then I'm pretty happy!
Can't wait to wear a bra- 2 more weeks maybe! I'll update again at 4-6 weeks when I have new bras!
Ok it's been exactly 4 weeks! My 1 month post op...
Ok it's been exactly 4 weeks! My 1 month post op is Monday and hopefully I will be bra shopping next week!
I wish my pictures could show the true changes my breast have gone through! I know they look the same but if you were able to FEEL my boobs you'd be wowed by the difference! The first week they felt so thin and soupy (someone else used that term and it sums it up well). But now they are feeling so much fuller and firmer.. I can cup a nice handful and they just feel like awesome boobs, not soupy pancakes lol.
I'm seriously blown away by how happy I am with them! I'm used to the stretchmarks and the wrinkling is insanely improving!!!
I can't believe these same boobs nursed 3 babies while stuffed with implants- I think they are wonderful!
I can't believe I had implants for 8 years, I feel SO good being natural, I'm so glad I decided to do this!
BRA time! Ok, had my 1 month post appt. yesterday....
BRA time! Ok, had my 1 month post appt. yesterday.. he said all looks great and no restrictions, it's bra time! We also discussed a lift, it's something I am considering for like a 40th birthday present to myself, I don't think I'll do it in the near future because I have a lot of kids where that money could be better spent (5-6k is a lot of money y'all).
Bra shopping has been weird. I don't have the funds to buy a bunch of 60 dollar bras. So I started at the basic stores like Kmart, Walmart, and Target. I grabbed a bunch of 34B's as that was my pre-implant size. Nothing seemed to fit right and I couldn't figure out what was wrong.. my boobs just wrinkled up and looked AWFUL in the bras I tried on. For the heck of it I grabbed a C bra... IT FIT! Ah, so that's why those bras weren't looking right on me, wrong size.
At this point I decide to get a proper fitting. I go to Dillard's and asked for a fitting, I explained my situation and she took me to the fitting room. Does measurements, then comes back with bras, the size... 30D. Umm, no thanks! lol
As she put them on me she warned that the band will feel snug but that is totally normal as they will loosen up with time. I felt I was in some weird bondage experience as she fastened bra after bra tightly around my body lol. They didn't look or feel right to me, and they were 60 a piece. She said I should get 2-3 bras.. the next chance I had to run, I did. Sure, I felt bad to not buy a bra, but they were just not fitting right and she insisted they looked great.
I have a 34C bra that I am wearing right now, I do clasp it on the tightest loop so I imagine I would probably do better with a 32 band. So I am thinking I am a 32C.
I'm going to venture out sometime this week and look for 32C bras and see how they fit.
I am thinking I have always been a 32C even before my implants, but I always wore the 34B because that is the more easily accessible size in most stores. I've always worn bras on the tightest clasp, I guess that should've been a sign that I needed a smaller band as you're supposed to wear the band on the last clasp so as it stretches over the years of use you can tighten it down to the next clasp.
Bras are complicated.
Makes me want to get the lift so I never have to wear a bra again lol.
3 months(ish) post op!
25 Jun 2013
3 months post
Ok, sorry I haven't been on this site in awhile, believe it or not I just haven't been thinking about my boobs much lately! Lol I know what a shocker! What once consumed me is now something I just really never think about. I feel just so myself and normal and GOOD! My boobs are not perfect but I feel they look WAY better now than with the implants! My skin has finally firmed up enough so that I look cute in a bikini and not just wrinkly skin smooshed in a suit!
I don't know if my boobs look much different than my 1 month pics but they feel much firmer and fuller! I wear a 34C or 32 depending on the brand. I haven't been active yet since the surgery, very unlike me.. I am getting squishy though my weight hasn't gone up more than a few pounds I feel out of shape. So I need to start working out again.. 3 months is plenty long enough to wait lol.
I don't know what else to say, I love my boobs, I look great in clothes, I look great naked lol, I just don't even think about it anymore, I'm happy in my skin :)
Hope all you ladies are doing well, I'll find the time to check out updates, and ill try to add pics in my bikini top and some bras in the near future.
3 month pics
26 Jun 2013
3 months post
So a visible difference isn't really noticeable but if you could feel them you'd feel a difference lol
7 months and still ecstatic!
So here I am! Well let's see, in the last month I've been working on getting back in shape. It seemed to take a full 6 months for my pec muscles to heal, every time I worked out they would hurt. So I took it easy, and got lazy lol and gained weight. I just did a month of Insanity and I'm starting p90x on Monday! So ready to get fit!
Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be talking about my boobs huh! Well they are good! I do once in awhile think about getting a lift someday in the future, just so I can wear a tank without a bra and not flop around lol. But for now, push-up bras work great too lol
And I'm not ashamed of sagging since I've had 6 kids, I can't complain!
I haven't had a second of regret about the explant. I really don't think about it much at all except in the context of "look at that woman jogging by with her big heavy boobs, I do not miss that at all!" or "ooh all these shirts fit me! Even the button ones!" or "it's so nice to no longer wonder if something is leaking inside me."
Speaking of which, I left an intact implant in my dresser drawer and that thing is nearly empty! And there's stuff floating in it. Weird! lol I guess the saline evaporates out when it's not in our bodies.. Anyone else have a similar event?
Ok well I took pics even though I don't think they changed much and I decided to add the dreaded side shot! I just feel good about my body, even if it's not perfect, it's mine and I love it!
Oops updated too soon, here's other pics.