So it's canceled!!!

So, I've always considered bigger breasts since...

So, I've always considered bigger breasts since probably high school and now I have the means to do it. But I also just moved and joined a new competitive gym. They offered me a spot on the team a couple months after I put down a deposit and now I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I push my surgery date too far back I potentially lose my deposit or I go through with my scheduled surgery date and wait til next year to compete in the annual Crossfit Games. I'm also just worried about the surgery in general since it'll be my first time under anesthesia.

Plus, there's the obvious questions, size, pain and possible outcomes of the surgery. I mean, who wants to wake up from the table looking like frankenstein right? Haha!! Anway, I'm 22, turning 23 and I know I have time to grow physically, I'm justhoping that while regaining strength after surgery that I can still exceed the intensity I currently endure during training. I don'tw want people to get the wrong idea here, I'm not a body builder or super buff, but I am a fit person who just has never felt so feminine because of my breast size. I'm wondering if any of you ladies have had a hard time exercising even after a few months after surgery? That would be greatly appreciated if I could get some opinions on that please! So my scheduled date in in March but I have a consultaion thi sWednesday so hopefully after seeing the surgeon again I can definitely decide when the date will be. Updates on that in a couple days!

BTW, some stats about myself: half Korean and half...

BTW, some stats about myself: half Korean and half Colombian, 5'3" at 135lbs roughly! I guess I have a slightly narrower chest so my dr recommended hp instead of mod+ which I though was originally recommended. I had my 2nd consulation today and still can't decide on what size! I want a small c or full b and so I'm deciding between 300cc/325cc or 250cc/275cc. I guess I will have to decide on my pre-op! I just think the team will have to wait for me to compete next year because I live in Arizona and I can't imagine suffering through recovery during the blistering heat! I'm sure March will be hot enough! So I will be rescheduling my surgery sometime tomorrow. I'm really scared honestly because of how many mixed opions I've gotten. Many of you say you love it, but personal opinons from people I know around here have said otherwise. But then again I think they're older and I'm sure surgery was conducted differently years ago haha! I just don't want to lose my strength and the ability to do the things I do now. I wish you didn't have to have surgery and that it could just magically pop up! Everyday I come on this site and read everyone's stories, most which are comforting, and after my 2nd consultation I do feel a little more confident about going through with it. More on this later, time to actually work. ( I'm sitting at my desk at work, bleh!) Post "before" pictures soon!

So my boyfriend and I got into a little spat over...

So my boyfriend and I got into a little spat over my surgery but only cause I was talking so much about how worried I was and he said to not get it lol I guess he was tired of me complaining! Of course that didn't change my mind but now not only am I still deciding with what size I'll end up with I'm deciding what date in march. I want my boyfriend to be there but he has school and runs for their track team basically having a race every weekend during the season so I'm trying to schedule it around that. My sister and possibly my parents might come down too so it'll be nice to have help lol. I moved to Arizona last June, I'm from California originally and I miss it a lot! It hasn't been too long since the last time I saw them though fortunately. I just told my dad about my surgery today too which went ok. It was via text haha but he seemed ok with it aside from the commen of being "beautiful the way you are" spiel. I told him to tell my mom I know she's going to freak out! Not in a bad way necessarily, I was blessed to have supportive parents throughout all of my crazy decisions and impulses :) I also talked to one of the trainers at my gym and he's agreed to do personal training with me after a few weeks of recovery. Thank goodness! I'll be doing some major walking and dumbbell curls (attempting anyway)! I'm grateful for this website too since I had no idea what people did to prepare for the surgery! I have compiled a list from the tips around here so thanks in advance girls! My Internet coincidentally went down a few days ago, someone is supposed to come fix it tomorrow so I can put pics up jeez. Til then, have a goodnight!

As I do enjoy reviewing this website, I'm a little...

As I do enjoy reviewing this website, I'm a little disappointed I haven't gotten any feedback from anybody except for the community manager! Probably because I don't have pics, but I've been busy... oh well.

So, it's been forever since I've posted but I...

So, it's been forever since I've posted but I haven't changed my mind. I saw my PS yesterday for my 3rd consultation and my bf finally came so I could get his opinion with the sizers. It went pretty good I think I know what I want but the PS said that either profile that I'm deciding on (HP and mod plus) would look nice. Umm.. that doesn't help! Since my last consult his assistant told me he recommended HP so that's all I've been comparing myself to and now that he said mod plus would look good lately the pics I've been looking at with that profile aren't as appealing. Maybe the first set of sizers I tried, which were the ones I liked the most will be the way I go (275/300cc HP). I've been thinking of how when its in you you lose some cc's so go the next size up and I tried those sizers and even though its only 25 cc's I do not like the projection compared to the ones I liked! Unless it gives me that end result going a little bigger but still I think it would be too big for my lifestyle. My bf of course likes the bigger one and that isn't too much help either.. I feel so lost. I just had the surgery planner call me and said that she will have my coordinator call me so we can further discuss this lol. Maybe mod plus would look good but maybe it won't look as perky? Ugh.. a month away and still nervous. LIke I was saying in my previous post about contemplating competing with a team at my gym, the owner has asked several times to talk to me about pushing my surgery date back to do this and has consistently flaked to do so, so screw it I'm doing it now!This way if I want to compete nextyear I'll be able to. If I did push it back and I wasn't guaranteed a spot and didn't make the team at tryouts I would be so pissed that I lost my deposit and know that I wouldn't be healed enough to do it next year. I guess I get jealous sometimes when I see some people at my previous gym in California catching up to my strength levels since I haven't been able to train like I used to after I moved out here. But I guess I just gotta focus on me and not be a grump. I think the surgery will definitely boost my confidence. Here's to hoping!

Posting some more before pics.. any...

Posting some more before pics.. any recommendations of hp or mod plus for my frame? My breast width is 11 but I can do mod plus since it's within 1cm longer than my natural width. Thanks girls!

Hello ladies! I'm such a procrastinator when it...

Hello ladies! I'm such a procrastinator when it comes to updating sorry lol! But a lot has happened. I just came back from California to visit my family since my dad was getting surgery for prostate cancer. The surgery was about 5 hours long and we were all at the hospital for 10, not including my dad who stayed overnight. Long story short, he just has a catheter til tomorrow and we'll see what kind of treatment he will need if so. He's doing well otherwise! As for me, I'm riding the emotional roller coaster more than ever. Yesterday I was feeling so excited and then this morning I feel unsure. Even in California it was like this every other day! It's so frustrating. I just haven't been through surgery and the pain to follow is something I'm tremendously scared about! Still going through with it, hoping I WILL NOT regret this! I actually don't feel that guilty spending this much on myself, I just think sometimes that there are other ways to use that money lol. I'm pretty excited though, my pre op is this Thursday and I will finalize my size and profile, hopefully! My ps will be in surgery I was told so I will be seeing his assitant instead. I still have to get my blood work and EKG done so I have to do that today, but I still have to enroll into tricare since I'm only enrolled in Callifornia. I'm hoping that I can see the doctor today as well because where my hospital is out here is like an hour away from my house and I really don't feel like driving there again tomorrow! With all of the stories I've read on this site, I see a lot of ps's ask for pictures so I've made a few collages of my desired results, but my ps hasn't asked to see anything like that. I plan on showing him anyway and if need be I'll let him make the final decision with the size and profile, giving him a range of cc's of course. I want to emphasize that I would strongly prefer something smaller than bigger. I believe that my frame is just not fit for something too large. I have a nice butt, but other than that I don't have a very curvy torso just slender. Looking top heavy would make me feel fat lol especially if it was bigger than my butt! I went to Costco yesterday to see if they had any of the vitamins I've been making a list of and they don't! Except for Vitamin C but I already have that. So Walmart or CVS is where I'll be going later on today to pick up arnica, zinc, cocoa butter, and a few other things not to mention that arm pillow! Oh, btw if anyone wants a cheap neck pillow, I was at Marshall's the other week and saw some that were $10 and they had different materials they were made of from beads, polyester, and gel! Happy healing to the girlies who have made it to the other side already :D

So pre op is tomorrow and I'm really hoping that I...

So pre op is tomorrow and I'm really hoping that I can make up my mind on what implant I want! I went to hi-health yesterday and picke duo some vitamins...
Arnica gel and tablets
L-arginine
L-glutamine
Bioflavanoids
Cocoa butter

The dude that worked there was helping me out and he said that te bioflavanoid would work better than bromelain for bruising and such since it works with vitamin c, which I've already been taking, and it also helps with joints. I also bought those little MTW pill things and plan on getting a scrubby with a handle attached. I'm so glad I've had you ladies give little tips and such makes me feel good to know that there are so many others going through all of the stress as excitement! I haven't bought a neck pillow or backrest yet, maybe tomorrow. I'm so excited I can shop for me since I haven't spoiled myself since I moved out to az. My sister is coming down the night before surgery too so it'll be nice to have family along with my bf to help and support me! And even though I have post poned competing my gym mates have been very supportive too. Wish me luck for my pre op! Lol :)

So I went to my pre op yesterday along with my bf...

So I went to my pre op yesterday along with my bf and finalized the size, well kind of lol. I tried on the 275/300 and 300/325 cc but in MOD PLUS and had decided on the smaller size. I also decided how to pay. Since I was approved for care credit at my initial consultation I owed 1500 up front and now owe 3400 on care credit. I'm doing the year with no interet pay and the payments are pretty small so I'm happy with it. My bf was making jokes, not harmful in anyway but I stress out really easily and he was saying that he liked the bigger ones since he's a guy but that doesn't help when I'm trying to pick something proportional! Ugh, that's just the way he handles stuff and I'm a worry wart so I took pics in both sizers, signed all the paper work and then we went home. I sent pics to my sister and she said the bigger one didn't look too bad. If you do lose cc's once they're inside you then the smaller implants are my goal size so I picked up the phone and called the office to switch the size to 300/325! I just don't want to look top heavy where my boobs are bigger than my ass lol!! So a couple things different than some of you girls' ps' recommended, have to stop all vitamins as of today and I don't have to wear that strap til a week after my surgery. No working out til after 6 weeks was horrible news too! I was hoping it would be sooner but don't wanna risk wasting my money by ruining the implants! Haha. Ill post pics later of the sizers I tried on. I'm starting to get more excited now instead of just stressed which is nice cause everyone else is! Now I have to buy some zip up sports bras, haven't stopped by Walmart yet but so far Marshall's and Ross don't have them. Got a memory foam neck pillow at Marshall's though for $10! Super soft. I never really shopped at bargain shops before I moved out on my own but whatever Saves you money I guess! Can't rely on my parents for everything lol. 14 more days!!!

My surgery date is coming up quick and it still...

My surgery date is coming up quick and it still does not feel like it is happening!! Everytime I go to the gym I get a little more sad knowing that ill r out I commission for 6 weeks ugh! I just want to et it over with so I can go back to my routine. Everyone seems more excited than me lol. I am, but all of you must know this emotional roller coaster I'm talking about! I don't think it'll hit me til I'm at the surgical center when they tell me to change into a gown! When I went to Walmart I bought a danskin brand front closure bra in a 36c which is literally all they had but I'm hoping that ill be smaller than that so the tag stays on! Lol. Oh, and even though I had a few drinks on saint patty's day I have to quit drinking today until my surgery. Pre surgery rules I suppose! Today is my bf and I'd 2 year anniversary so hopefully I can also have at least one more drink today hehe ;)

Like my post said, there was an error when I tied...

Like my post said, there was an error when I tied to update and it erased all of my pictures but here's some more.

So all the ladies on here who claim they lift...

So all the ladies on here who claim they lift weights and workout alot do you have worries of a possible explant in the future and loss of muscle function? Or the fellow crossfitters on here that can't do a box jump, ring dip, or snatch the same after surgery? My ps said you lose 5% strength if its even noticeable but man, what if I can't do the same stuff in the gym I can now? Ever? My ba is this Friday and I'm really second guessing this. I talked to te gym owner's wife whose had hers done back in 09 and she said he just NOW feels like her implants are finally feeling like her own, she's early 30's and also has rheumatoid arthritis and I know everybody experiences this differently. Going under the muscle and just hearing the word "dissection" is scaring the hell out I me. I've read the Q&A forum on here about this and no doctors opinion is consistent. I just don't know anymore and it's frustrating to think of having 2k already spent on this procedure.

So I haven't looked on this site for a couple days...

So I haven't looked on this site for a couple days cause I needed to clear my mind although I appreciate all the girls who have given me their stories which I truly appreciate! Sunday afternoon I decided to cancel my surgery but the office was closed so I had to wait until Monday (yesterday). I didn't call until after I got off work so that lead to me thinking ok, well ill be losing a lot of money first hand but I shouldn't get this if I feel obligated. And then I started thinking that I think I would be scared shitless regardless of what point I'm at in my life. And then I thought we'll maybe ill get it and get it OVER the muscle with a smaller implant which doesn't bother me. So I called and told my coordinator that I was considering canceling this entire thing. She said that there is a cancellation fee but she wouldn't know until today since she has to talk to whomever at the hospital and my ps. Hopefully it isn't that much and honestly I didn't think I'd get any of the money back anyway I just don't want to have to pay off the care credo if I don't actually have services rendered. Before I got off the phone with her I asked if my ps did the implant over the muscles, she said yes BUT it wouldn't feel as natural and look more round or whatever. Like I said I'd go with a smaller implant so the skin/fat I have can cover it better and such, also that there is a 30% higher chance I capsular contracture and bottoming out. I think these things are less likely if I have the smaller implant and my body heals relatively well to illness although I haven't had surgery before. I'm just mainly concerned about having my muscle cut up because if I ever had to have them taken out the muscle fibers do not reattach and at the very least if I get this ba done over the muscle I can still do my Olympic weight lifting without worrying if I can feel the implant contracted. I do want boobies. I just don't know if the risks are worth it anymore. Physically and financially! I'm going to the office right after work even though my coordinator said she would call cause I need to see this cancellation fee with my own eyes on paper just to make sure, my bf doesn't worry about things like this but said that for me maybe I should wait until I'm more comfortable. I don't think ill ever be comfortable with te thought of being put under anesthesia!! So after I go to the office ill talk to my bf about it and decide from there. I know my parents and sister are supportive even though I know they're leaning more towards "don't do it!" Attitude lol. Well see, I literally only have a few days to decide!

So I finally got an answer today.. Not sure how I...

So I finally got an answer today.. Not sure how I really feel about it but I guess this just isn't for me right now. I liked my ps but it seriously irritated the hell out of me that I had paid a late portion of this and either my ps or the coordinator would call me back when they said they would and just make me wait! I'd expect to be contacted about my concerns and not having to chase them down constantly. I didn't appreciate that. But he was nice enough I credit me back Everythig except the deposit because 1) they feel I'm making a rash decision since I've been flip flopping a lot and 2) he doesn't want to do sub glandular placement. The care credit will be taken care of by them thank god so all in all I lost $500 which is alot less than I was expecting so here comes the money! Maybe I can plan something fun to do over the summer now or just save for something bigger in the future. I still want to get this procedure done later on, just when I'm more confident in my decision and especially with a ps who is better at discussing my issues in depth and not just throw out the facts and have me stew over them. So thank you for all of your support with my indecisiveness and good luck to all of you! You may see me later on :) back to competing for me!
Scottsdale Plastic Surgeon

I searched online for a surgeon, turns out Guerra's office was down the street for me so I went for a consultation and I was sold! His work seems pretty awesome, so hopefully I turn out to be another masterpiece!

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