51 and Done with These Massive Mammaries! Scottsdale, AZ

In September of 1994 Dr. Lawrence Shaw did my BA. I've never had a problem with my implants, they always looked and felt great! (About 300/325cc's under the muscle) That was 20 years and 50 lbs ago! A lot has changed. I think they still look great; they don't sag as much as you would expect for a 51 year old woman - but they are killing my neck and back.

I went back to Dr. Shaw and he will be draining my implants this Friday and then removing them and performing a reduction/lift on the 28th of August. I'm excited and nervous. I originally had my implants inserted through the armpit so I've never had scars to deal with so, as you all know, the scars from the reduction/lift are going to be a HUGE change in how I look.

I have no qualms about having the surgery done. I trust Dr. Shaw completely. He is an artist, not just a surgeon. I've referred several friends and family to him and have never had anyone disappointed in their outcome.

I am hoping that after surgery I will be a more "normal" C or D cup, even a DD would be welcomed at this point. I will post more pictures after my deflation, and again as I am healing from the surgery. Feel free to ask me any questions about Dr. Shaw or the procedure.

I went for my post op today and Dr. Shaw decided not to do the deflation ahead of time after all. He said that my imants are so small in relation to my breast that there was no benefit to deflation when my surgery is only 2 weeks away.

Glad to not have to go through the procedure, but wish I could have so I could provide other women with some first hand information and pictures.

My final two days before my surgery and things are feeling more scary. I'm pretty anxious about the whole deal all of the sudden. I know I want smaller breasts, but the thought of the surgery itself and the fact that my breasts are going to be totally different - the actually slicing and dicing of my flesh - yeah, that's weighing on my mind over the past few days. I'm easily agitated. I'm overwhelmed. I'm frustrated with my husbands comments - even if he thinks he's being funny. I get it. I know he's a boob man - the bigger and obnoxious the better. I understand he's trying to be supportive and understands this is a health decision - but he HATES HATES HATES the thought of my size going down and the thought of the scars... even though he has a massive scar from the front of his stomach circling around to his back on one side from a major surgery as a child - I'm supposed to be scar free - especially in the boob area. I'm not doing this to upset him - and I'm not doing it to make him happy - this is for me, for my health - I'm confident in my decision but it's still gnaws at me that he's so bothered by it. Thank goodness I haven't gotten breast cancer and got a mastectomy - good lord then he would have no "fun bags" to play with. Ugh.

This is probably not the best time to be posting an update because my mood isn't the best, but on the other hand I can't imagine that there aren't other women out there whose husbands or significant others have made them feel less than stellar about their decision to explant and/or get a reduction so maybe this kind of update is fine.

I know in my heart of hearts I will physically feel better when a) I don't feel like a freak show when I dress up and I don't feel like a slob when I dress to hide my breasts, b) can walk into any store and be able to find my size in a bra or a simple t-shirt and c) when my neck and shoulders don't ache every single day - well, they won't feel wonderful due to the arthritis but I know they are going to feel a heck of a lot better than they do now.

I also know if the smaller size (still going to be a D cup for crying out loud) and/or the scars are too much for him to handle he certainly knows where the door is. I won't live in misery and frustration because he has a boob fetish. At 51 years old I don't think being a "sex symbol" is on my freaking bucket list. Those days are long (no pun intended) gone! I just want to be normal and enjoy my life without my boobs being the center stage in every clothing decision I make.

Okay, cry-baby rant about my husband over :) The nervousness about going under anesthesia isn't going to go away until I wake up and it's all over - so no rant there! The anxiousness about a part of my body going through such a radical change - well, that's just something that I guess will fade the first time I walk into Victoria's Secret and get to buy a bra in my size and buying any bra any where that isn't beige or white or black! I know good things are coming. Simple things that others take for granted and I feel like a complete idiot for being upset about when we have so much hate, ugliness, terror and turmoil in the world, women are having mastectomies and just hoping their cancer doesn't kill them, people are struggling with real diseases and afflictions every day that are so much more important than me and my petty issues. My life is really pretty sweet. I have more than so many more people and I have to remember to put my petty frustrations in their place.

Good talk. Thanks guys! I feel better already! Head up! Chin up! Going forward.