Breast Implant Removal - Santa Clara, CA

I grew up with large breasts. When I was 16, I...

I grew up with large breasts. When I was 16, I decided to take birth control which made my boobs massive. I really enjoyed having bigger boobs. They were great! Sure, they got in the way and were a distraction to everyone, but being young; I didn't mind. After I stopped the BC, my boobs started going down in size and became much smaller than the initial breast size I had prior.

Many would question what happened to my bust. That really upset me since I was used to being hailed for my boobs. It was rather shallow now I think about it..point is, I started to become anorexic around 18 and my boobs went to an a cup. No one made fun of me except ONE time. I was at a store and that very day I felt rather ashamed of my a cup. I put my shirt on without wearing a bra because I didn't need it. The woman at the store asked me what size I needed for a raver bra top and I responded with, "the smallest size you have." She mocked me and said my breasts were so small, I'd need padding, socks and etc to even fill it out. She was nagging me very loud in the store. I began to cry and ripped it out of her hands. The man next to me then told me, "screw her." It was very embarrassing. I never forgot that day.

My sex life was lagging too. It made me feel absolutely terrible no one would touch my boobs since all I was used to was being bombarded with, "your boobs are amazing" and hearing nothing really stripped me of my pride. I grew into a deep depression to the point I was an alcoholic pill popper. Not only were these two things my vices, they were my life. With the hazy mindset filled with toxins, I was obsessed with wanting bigger boobs. I thought they were the answers. After two years of begging, harassing and abusing my family with threats to receive a very selfish boob job - they gave in. I went to three surgeons. First one was Dr. George Commons (Palo Alto) who was quite money hungry. I never went to him for the surgery. In fact, I backed out and felt redeemed with a better confidence assuming I didn't need the surgery. Three dates were skipped. I then when to Dr. Lauren Greenberg (Palo Alto) who refused to work on me. Why I never listened to her? I have no idea...drugs, alcohol, bad self-esteem. Out of depression and not giving a darn what anyone said to me, I went to Dr. Beck of San Mateo. He was my last straw. I believed that he could fix my life with a surgery. He agreed to what I wanted and desired.

I went into surgery 9/19/12, went from an A cup to DD in under an hour which seemed to be a miracle until the complications arose. Quickly, I bottomed out and went to him numerous times complaining of pain. He dismissed anything appeared wrong. Though, if you look at my images I posted, can't you see how bad it looked? It's been many months later and multiple visits to him where he has told me that a revision would cost money though our contract stated it would be free. Blah blah blah depression, attempted suicide, cutting, drugs, more booze later, I stopped all of it. I stopped filling my mind with junk. I even stopped watching television and reading magazines. My friends (thank God!) began helping me with meditation, Buddhism and much more. For that, I am so thankful for all they offered. I found a doctor who would perform the removal and believed my ailments. I am scheduled to have these suckers taken out on 9/4/13. Reason for removal? Bottoming out, not being able to exercise, run, walk on stairs, drive, lift my arms to shoulder level, being hunched over constantly AND realizing breasts aren't everything. Mind you, I am being quite honest with my substance issue. It tainted my mind, body and soul.

I know that my beauty is in my acts of kindness and never the case my soul is housed in. I am much more than boobs. My mind is beautiful and enticing. I do not believe surgery could make me more attractive. I love me for me. All I need is these water bags gone! I apologize if this was rather TMI, but I had to be honest ladies (and gents).

Nervous...Not sure if I want small breasts again

I am very nervous as it is 1 week 6 days approaching. I love the size I am. I am petrified of the sagging and sadness to follow, especially with my depressive substance abuse past. I am not sure if I can deal with being small breasted again. Nothing is wrong with small boobs, but I truly love the attention I get...though I will NOT miss boys being disgustingly rude to me when touching my boobs. I have very mixed emotions right now....I know I need them out for my health and after I can resume my active lifestyle and hopes of competing in track once more.

Scared

I don't know how I feel. I have severe allergies to Vicodin. Ladies - anyone have similar allergies? I don't just mean a manageable sniffle here and there. I'm talking full blown attack- system shutting down and feeling like death. Took a few Vicodin given for migraines today and immediately received hives. My body is full of rashes. I was also vomiting. My body knows its toxic to my system..what can they do for me? I'm scared I'll die next week as I'm operated on seeing I've gone against rules to have pain killers and I'm dealing with these ailments....I'm a terrible person. Dealing with addiction and having real pain is awful. Makes me sad that this is what I've done. Ugh I don't want to admit I took pills and I have a bad reaction due to Vicodin :(

Woke up and allergy faded!

That was really scary... So my surgeon hasn't called me at all..I don't know where my surgery will be held. Idk if I trust this guy :(

One Week

I am very eager and scared. I never liked small boobs no offense, so I am very sad to have to go back..I just want to focus on my health though and not my sadness...I know it is natural to be sad, but still...I don't know how I will feel looking ugly and saggy.

Freaking out

I am very much freaking out and can't stop having anxiety. I'm having severe heart pains and can feel palpitations. Breathing is hard. I've been crying non-stop. No offense to those on here, but I couldn't be happy looking saggy..most are older than me. I'm 21 not 40. Ok? I want to be attractive and like my peers. Not only am I ugly face wise, so is my body - my breasts are ruined and there is zero way I'm
Going to look ok ..I know it. There's just nothing to make me look "good as new." I've been going against the no pull rule and popping Xanax like candy. I cannot relax..I cannot stay calm. Urges of the past are coming on. It's a very painful day...mentally I feel awful. I don't wanna see how I'll look. I'm petrified

Crease question

I went from a/b cup to DD.. I'm concerned my old crease won't return. How do the creases work?! I know the sagging and puckering won't be pretty at first. I hope my body can bounce back fast :((

Feeling a little relieved

Starting to take life more seriously than boobs or being attractive

Scared

Worried I should keep these stupid water bags...I don't want ugly shriveled saggy stretch mark boobs :/

Should I cancel?

The dr hasn't called me at all, gave me no post op appt dates, didn't say what medication to pick up or when..COMPLETE NEGLECT

Since he's not responding

I'm going in that day and if he's going to be a jerk on operation date, I will walk out

Second thoughts

The only reason besides pain I want them gone is because of the response I get in regard to the feel..not look. I'm sorry..I just can't go back to having small boobs...I wanted big boobs like I was used to before my anorexia bulimia came up. I love how I look in clothes. I just hate people touching them. My mom told me she would pay for silicone if I wait until I find a dr who will do it...Of course, I'd be a smaller size, but I want a softer feel..I swear, it's only the feeling...anyone with removal of silicone find them to feel hard too? Anyone know where in bay area ca I can get silicone at 21?? Law says 22..yeah idk if I could mentally return back to small breasts when I hated them on me so much..not trying to offend anyone but I was 16 with a D cup so I only feel comfy larger

So much going on in my head

Very unappreciative of dr James orman located at Santa Clara kaisee reconstructive cosmetic department. He never called me after our consult. He just said he would take them out. I Asked for lift and he said to wait a few months. This was about 2-3 months ago. I had to try my hardest to rush the date due to school starting on 9/23. I called him maby times and he ignored all calls, voicemails, etc. listening to women here talk about their surgeons taking time with them and lifting their creases makes me beyond miserable. Tears form just reading about the care most had as where I feel like I'm nothing and he can care less with my outcome... No one called to schedule post op appts nor told me what materials to gather prior such as medication and what garnets....nothing. I'm very unhappy/ I can't take my meds so I've been having severe anxiety over all this...

Going on weds

And if it is sketchy, my mother & I will leave...this is complete BS. I apologize to all for being rude I really don't mean to use an excuse but I rely and use anxiety meds. I can't use them post op so my mental state is very cooky. I feel unstable without them especially after such frequent usage. To clear one thing up- I also have very severe BDD. I don't like any physical trait I have. My version is pretty much looking in the mirror and each time I see a completely different face!! I never see the same nose or something's I'll make something out of nothing. I am thankful for patience on this board...thank you for the advice and I do really mean my apologies. I'm crying a great deal due to frustration and my mind is very crazy without meds. I seem to be snappy, usually I'm very calm and controlled but without ...eek.....

Cancel??

I'm thinking to cancel & offer him one more chance WHILST shopping around for other drs. Ladies in SF bay area - any surgeons?

Very upset

Ive been crying all day and night over the rudeness from dr ormon. No pre op visit, not one phone call, didn't tell me about garnets to wear, no information in how he's going to operate...I don't want just a removal....I'm pretty sure that's all he's interested in doing & that isn't what I want. I want my crease lifted. I didn't know that was an option. I don't want puckered nipples. I don't want to be deflated. What if you guys are raising my hopes and I don't even look good? This dr has been avoiding me like a plague. Maybe he's hoping I won't do it? I still don't understand what's behind his neglect and very rude attitude..I feel very unhappy and uncomfortable with him doing this surgery on me. I'm very frightened. My body says it isn't right & to push the date... I'm absolutely terrified something would go wrong. By him avoiding me, we aren't on the same page. For gods sake, why didn't I have a pre op appt? I wasn't even informed on ANYTHING....research online varies. I feel very sad today. Crying non stop..I just want a burger and fries so bad but my favorite place is closed

Very depressed

He hasn't even called me...I feel trapped in this ugly body. I'm so miserable

I want them out

I dont want these stupid things anymore. I hate kaiser!

My mental health

Is no ones business ..so keep if out. Im honestly disgusted that I'm being put in a box. I have normal feelings but to you guys it isn't considered just normal...must be worst. Keep my mental health out of it. Sorry you're not 21, missing school over stupid boob explaining, sorry youre not going to look 82 at 21, sorry you don't endure anything I do but I'm not sorry for your ignorance..I'm offended. Just trying to share my experience & have support. When I'm put down for my honesty, I don't want it shoved in my face. Thanks for making me feel even worse. Good day everyone. I'll come back when I want to
Name not provided

Surgeon hasn't returned my phone calls in 3 weeks... Instead ive dealt with assistants and very rude kaiser employees..he hasn't even asked how I want it done..guess I could tell him day of but this is rubbing me the wrong way since people in my life took time off from work to care for me ..I'm really upset

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Dont worry! Im in the same situation! I WANT TO GET THEM OUT but scared! But my decision is made, And I'm doing this for my health, witch is more important than boobs! Just go do it! You'll thank yourself later on :-) hope you make the right decision! Im 26 got implants in at 21! Im on the list for removal next week or the following week at the latest! :-) best of luck x
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Oh please, stop with the victim mindset...we are all here because we are looking to improve the way we look (ultimately the way we feel), about ourselves. You made a choice to have surgery, now you want to undo it, same here. Live and learn, maybe help and support others who made, or are about to make the same mistake, instead of wallowing in self pity. It clearly isn't helping you anyways. If you're worried about looking older, remembrt, worry adds years ;-)
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Wow!!!!! when you started discussing your mental health issues (suicide, cutting, BDD, anorexia, etc...)on a public forum, you made it everyone else's business. NO ONE is putting you in a box. EVERYONE is trying to help and support you. No one is normal, were all different, we come from different walks of life , and have different experiences. Your feelings may be normal, but from the way you are talking, they are definitely not healthy. I have read several of your reviews where you have shunned other women for making comments you felt were disrespectful (when in all honesty they were fine). But you must agree they way you just told other people that its none of their business and to keep out of it is just plain rude. They are ALL trying to help and be extremely supportive and have done nothing but look out for your best interest. I really do hope you have someone in your life that does look out for your because pushing out people who really do care is not the best way to go. Good luck to you.
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And, you're right, Kaiser is grim! And, Jenniebeth is right, don't go into surgery when you're stressed, doubtful or have a gut feeling about the PS.
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Please please don't go through this surgery while you are in this state of mind. You aren't well, sweetheart, and you know it. Can I ask why you are off your meds? Did you need to stop prior to surgery or something?
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I just want to be normal..I feel like everyone is implying I'm nuts. Im not a nut im normal with feelings. ... They told me no meds before
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No one implied you were crazy, but you say you are a wreck, suicidal and in the past anorexic and have a body image disorder. So, you're not nuts, but also not in a healthy state of mind to undergo cosmetic surgery. We care, so we are giving you our advice due to our concern.
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Truly, I'm not implying that at all. I have a best friend who has struggled with BDD and anorexia for the past 20 years so I know how hard this can be. I'm also a mum to a 20 year old girl. I'm just really worried about you, and all I'm suggesting is that you don't head into surgery when you are obviously struggling. And for Gods sake, do not let someone you don't trust cut you open. I suspect the PS does not want to operate either and is hoping by ignoring you, that you'll just disappear. From his point of view, this may be the easiest option. So my suggestion is that you let each other go, take a break, sort out your anxiety etc and then find another surgeon who is willing to work with you on this journey.
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You need to trust the PS for removal.... however my PS has no bedside manners but I didn't want him for that I wanted him for his skills and knowledge... I'm very happy with my results after 19 years of implants I wanted to be me again.... in total I saw the PS about 5 min... I wish you all the best, it's very imotional to have surgery...
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Thanks but I cannot trust someone who really has made me feel rushed 24 hrs prior...I feel confused and disrespected by him
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Listen, my ps didn't talk to me before my removal at all. I just spoke with him the day of surgery. You don't need your creases raised, unless you have a severe complication, your creases will roll right back up to where they were after the implant is removed. You boobs will look weird for a little while, but they will fluff, the tissue will retract, and you will have normal looking 20-something year old boobs. Don't be so hard on yourself. If all fails and you hate your removal results, you can alway re-implant later down the line. But the longer you keep your implants, the more your tissue/shape of your boob will be changed by them. Goodluck, I hope you have lots of friends and family supporting you!! You will be okay, and so will your boobs :) xxx
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I feel so alone and I do plan on cancelling due to the rude treatment I received. I don't trust him. My gut says no. I'm very hurt by him & all the mean people I've encountered at santa Clara kaiser. Terrible
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Did you mention lawsuit in any of your phone calls? That is something that a PS is going to avoid if possible...some won't work on people who have sued before, so the office may be shying away if you've made threats? Just a thought.
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I didn't make threats I filed a claim within the hospital because he doesnt believe that I'm uncomfortable. So yeah I've always thought he's very angry with me and doesn't want to do it. Here's the thing though; he's making his rabbit hole deeper. If he doesn't want to do it, avoiding me isn't the way. I've made myself plenty available for him to reach me. I've called in many days. The claim was to place urgency over my surgery. It's not for cosmetic reasons unlike the people going to see him, it's for emergency removal. Not sure if it was a PM or public, but a woman who helped file the claim said "he doesn't want to work with you due to viewing your psychiatric charts. He believes you are lying because you have mental illnesses." I have never felt so offended. My physical pain is being challenged against my psychiatric files? He should tell it to me himself and not go through third parties. I received a letter saying my claim didn't go through, but then two days later I receive a phone call saying it did and they gave me before caution measure, etc. they didnt say anything about post op. just to show up to kaiser. I didn't receive a location. They said it was sent by mail and email..nope never received either. I have called and confirmed that I do still have the date. As for details, I better get them bright and early tmro. The claim isn't a lawsuit btw. It's just to place urgency on my behalf. It is more then clear he doesn't want to work with me. I'm very upset. Like I said, he could be very clear and stated so prior. I had to transfer schools for this damn surgery..I had to take work off. My family who doesn't even have work days off had to place emergency time in jusr for me. I feel terrible...I know this means nothing to the PS, but he could have saved mr the hassle with honesty. I've done nothing to anger him. I'll be honest with my experience though - not pleasant. If someone is putting me under the knife, I expect to have all answers and not scurried around 24-48 hrs prior given that I have "mental illnesses"...ha
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Cool, i had seen you mentioned lawsuit in a post so I didn't know if you told them your Aunt was a lawyer or something. I think you should attempt to focus on something positive and you'll stop attracting frustrating experiences. Law of Attraction: When you focus upon an unwanted aspect if something in an effort to push it away from you, it only comes closer-you get what you give attention to, whether its something you want or not. Thinking about nothing is better (meditate).
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I can't help but to wonder because it's so soon and Im really frustrated as to pursue it or fully cancel -___- I do believe law of attraction and meditation works but in this time, I can't focus. I'm full of anxiety ..sadness..despair. I feel ill
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I know, do your best...think of anything that gives you happiness, visualize the results you want and feel the way that would make you feel, now. Good luck to you! I think everything will work out well for you, and as soon as you believe that too, it will be so!
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Idk what if I assume they'll be nice and look awful? I honestly imagine them looking terrible..my bf is very disgusted with the drs behavior and has told me to not even bother going. He is scared this dr isn't concerned with the beauty of the breast. I don't just want a removal...I want to look perfect after healing!!! If a dr can't do that, buh bye....I feel like kaiser won't do that
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IMHO, it sounds like you should find another PS. And, ALWAYS go with your gut. You're adorable, your breasts look good, and you shouldn't be so stressed. Just find someone that is competent, and someone you feel comfortable with and can trust. With that, your results will be wonderful!
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Yeah, sounds messd up, you should have antibiotics for surgery, they usually prescribe them at the pre-op and instruct you to wash the area vigorously with anti-bacterial soap beforehand. My pre-op is next week or I'd tell you more...
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Zero pre op was made hence my 5+ voicemails and lies told that he would call...I feel like I have to do all the work when I shouldn't be having to be losing sleep over this. I'm severely disappointed
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PLEASE get some counseling! Your mental state is not health, if you are suicidal without your meds, you should get some therapy immediately. NO plastic surgeon can possibly help you love your body, it's in your head, you need "brain" surgery, not cosmetic surgery (referencing Psycho-Cybernetics book, I suggest you read it). No amount of surgery will help.
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Yep I know and I've gone to therapy plenty. I have Bdd and dr Joel beck who has done my first surgery never conducted a mental evaluation - San Mateo/ SF bay area - avoid this guy!!! He and his staff could tell I was anorexic as I was 89lbs and he put 431 salines in my body in a 25-19-29 frame..... Terrible idea.
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Sorry to hear, I think many PS aren't too concerned with our well-being, just with their paycheck. A greater percentage of women who get breast implans commit suicide...that alone tells us that surgery doesn't cure self esteem issues. PS take advantage of our poor self image. Societal pressure and media doesn't help either, so many people are brainwashed by it.
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