Breast Implant Removal - Santa Clara, CA

I grew up with large breasts. When I was 16, I...

I grew up with large breasts. When I was 16, I decided to take birth control which made my boobs massive. I really enjoyed having bigger boobs. They were great! Sure, they got in the way and were a distraction to everyone, but being young; I didn't mind. After I stopped the BC, my boobs started going down in size and became much smaller than the initial breast size I had prior.

Many would question what happened to my bust. That really upset me since I was used to being hailed for my boobs. It was rather shallow now I think about it..point is, I started to become anorexic around 18 and my boobs went to an a cup. No one made fun of me except ONE time. I was at a store and that very day I felt rather ashamed of my a cup. I put my shirt on without wearing a bra because I didn't need it. The woman at the store asked me what size I needed for a raver bra top and I responded with, "the smallest size you have." She mocked me and said my breasts were so small, I'd need padding, socks and etc to even fill it out. She was nagging me very loud in the store. I began to cry and ripped it out of her hands. The man next to me then told me, "screw her." It was very embarrassing. I never forgot that day.

My sex life was lagging too. It made me feel absolutely terrible no one would touch my boobs since all I was used to was being bombarded with, "your boobs are amazing" and hearing nothing really stripped me of my pride. I grew into a deep depression to the point I was an alcoholic pill popper. Not only were these two things my vices, they were my life. With the hazy mindset filled with toxins, I was obsessed with wanting bigger boobs. I thought they were the answers. After two years of begging, harassing and abusing my family with threats to receive a very selfish boob job - they gave in. I went to three surgeons. First one was Dr. George Commons (Palo Alto) who was quite money hungry. I never went to him for the surgery. In fact, I backed out and felt redeemed with a better confidence assuming I didn't need the surgery. Three dates were skipped. I then when to Dr. Lauren Greenberg (Palo Alto) who refused to work on me. Why I never listened to her? I have no idea...drugs, alcohol, bad self-esteem. Out of depression and not giving a darn what anyone said to me, I went to Dr. Beck of San Mateo. He was my last straw. I believed that he could fix my life with a surgery. He agreed to what I wanted and desired.

I went into surgery 9/19/12, went from an A cup to DD in under an hour which seemed to be a miracle until the complications arose. Quickly, I bottomed out and went to him numerous times complaining of pain. He dismissed anything appeared wrong. Though, if you look at my images I posted, can't you see how bad it looked? It's been many months later and multiple visits to him where he has told me that a revision would cost money though our contract stated it would be free. Blah blah blah depression, attempted suicide, cutting, drugs, more booze later, I stopped all of it. I stopped filling my mind with junk. I even stopped watching television and reading magazines. My friends (thank God!) began helping me with meditation, Buddhism and much more. For that, I am so thankful for all they offered. I found a doctor who would perform the removal and believed my ailments. I am scheduled to have these suckers taken out on 9/4/13. Reason for removal? Bottoming out, not being able to exercise, run, walk on stairs, drive, lift my arms to shoulder level, being hunched over constantly AND realizing breasts aren't everything. Mind you, I am being quite honest with my substance issue. It tainted my mind, body and soul.

I know that my beauty is in my acts of kindness and never the case my soul is housed in. I am much more than boobs. My mind is beautiful and enticing. I do not believe surgery could make me more attractive. I love me for me. All I need is these water bags gone! I apologize if this was rather TMI, but I had to be honest ladies (and gents).


Wow your pre-BA photo is gorgeous! I had implants put in June 14th and removed 9 weeks later... Last Monday. I had 300cc silicone unders. I hated them the second I got them put in. I felt like a crazy person... Anxiety ridden, panicking 24/7, the whole deal. I will say my anxiety had decreased greatly since removal... However, with that being said... It's been a little tough bc I wasn't expecting them to look so small. Sure, I was expecting some sagging and looseness... But I thought I'd have the same amount if tissue. My breasts are so much smaller than before my augmentation. I don't know how much of that is due to my tissues being compressed by the implant and still need to "fluff" or how much of that is weight I may have lost, or how much is permenant tissue loss. I just don't know what to think! I don't regret removal by any means, if anything I just regret getting implants from the get go. Feel free to check out my page. I have photos of pre-BA, BA, and 48 hours post removal. Warning: may be a little shocking lol. I'm only on my third day so I realize I have lots of healing ahead of me... So hopefully I will see lots of great changes. It's just hard for now not knowing when and what exactly to expect. Also, if you haven't, check out Tinaham, LuvMyNaturalSelf, LuvRealBoobsInOR and littlehugger's pages as well. If you have any questions please feel free to comment or message me. It's a very emotional, exciting, and exhausting experience! I'm hear for you!
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Its alright. I had BA July 18 and regretted it almost immediately. They were too big and one is bigger than the other. Swelling has gone down but the difference between the two are noticeable especially to me. He put 30 more ccs in one than the other. I dont know why but thats what I have. He wants to fix it but I would rather have them out so I dont have to worry about the outcome again. Your not the only one who regrets BA. I will be getting mine out hopefully Sep 12th. I want to be active and back to my no chested self! lol I wish you the best and keep us posted!
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Thank you for your story looking forward to more. :) Congrats on going back to U!
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Nervous...Not sure if I want small breasts again

I am very nervous as it is 1 week 6 days approaching. I love the size I am. I am petrified of the sagging and sadness to follow, especially with my depressive substance abuse past. I am not sure if I can deal with being small breasted again. Nothing is wrong with small boobs, but I truly love the attention I get...though I will NOT miss boys being disgustingly rude to me when touching my boobs. I have very mixed emotions right now....I know I need them out for my health and after I can resume my active lifestyle and hopes of competing in track once more.


Wow, your Before pics look fantastic! Best wishes on your explant!
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Yeah thanks..guessing my after is disgusting...hope I revert easily
looking at your before pics you will still look amazing! You had good 2 start with! Stay strong beautiful!
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I don't know how I feel. I have severe allergies to Vicodin. Ladies - anyone have similar allergies? I don't just mean a manageable sniffle here and there. I'm talking full blown attack- system shutting down and feeling like death. Took a few Vicodin given for migraines today and immediately received hives. My body is full of rashes. I was also vomiting. My body knows its toxic to my system..what can they do for me? I'm scared I'll die next week as I'm operated on seeing I've gone against rules to have pain killers and I'm dealing with these ailments....I'm a terrible person. Dealing with addiction and having real pain is awful. Makes me sad that this is what I've done. Ugh I don't want to admit I took pills and I have a bad reaction due to Vicodin :(

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Woke up and allergy faded!

That was really scary... So my surgeon hasn't called me at all..I don't know where my surgery will be held. Idk if I trust this guy :(

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One Week

I am very eager and scared. I never liked small boobs no offense, so I am very sad to have to go back..I just want to focus on my health though and not my sadness...I know it is natural to be sad, but still...I don't know how I will feel looking ugly and saggy.


Your before boobs were perfect. Don't back out. Remove the fakes. You are going to look & feel great!
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Are you sure? I feel like I'm ruined..
It sounds like you are still very unhappy with the person God created you to be. I will be praying that He give you peace, contentment and comfort. And, that, no matter what the visual outcome, you are happy :)

Freaking out

I am very much freaking out and can't stop having anxiety. I'm having severe heart pains and can feel palpitations. Breathing is hard. I've been crying non-stop. No offense to those on here, but I couldn't be happy looking saggy..most are older than me. I'm 21 not 40. Ok? I want to be attractive and like my peers. Not only am I ugly face wise, so is my body - my breasts are ruined and there is zero way I'm
Going to look ok ..I know it. There's just nothing to make me look "good as new." I've been going against the no pull rule and popping Xanax like candy. I cannot relax..I cannot stay calm. Urges of the past are coming on. It's a very painful day...mentally I feel awful. I don't wanna see how I'll look. I'm petrified


If you are that concerned with not being happy with the outcome, maybe you ought to rethink your decision.
I am suffering physical pain and bottomed whatever
I can't exercise..I can't dance..I can't do anything. What am I supposed to do? Feels like these implants will rip through my little thin skin that barely holds them in. The incisions where the muscles were ripped months ago. I don't have a choice

Crease question

I went from a/b cup to DD.. I'm concerned my old crease won't return. How do the creases work?! I know the sagging and puckering won't be pretty at first. I hope my body can bounce back fast :((


YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE! Sorry for 'shouting' but i want you to know we have all been there and it is seriously going to be ok. There's a reason 94% of women on here say they are happy they explanted. You will feel better, more like you again. And i am sure you are going to have a good result as you are young and really have had them in very little time...mine were in 11 years and I am fine :) Are you seeing a doctor for your anxiety? good luck, will be thinking of you xxx
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Thank you and yes/no. Idk the reason I had addiction was due to relying on anxiety meds
Honestly, I think you are going to look really good after explanting by looking at your before pic and considering you haven't had them very long. I bet everything will shrink up and look almost like you did before. As far as the creases, mine raised back up by themselves and I had my implants for 16 years. Are you having them removed under the crease? This seems to be the best way of doing it to avoid visible scars if you are concerned about that. Everything is going to be okay, even though it doesn't feel like it right now :). You've come through so much and you can come through this.
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Feeling a little relieved

Starting to take life more seriously than boobs or being attractive


by the way, you are beautiful in your 'before all the madness' photo!!
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This doesbt make me feel better :( sorry it makes me sad to think how nasty I'll be on Wednesday :(
Just remember matter are beautiful, you are vaulable, and you are matter what your breast size, shape, or look. Any one whom your breast size matters shouldn't matter to you. And anyone whom you matter to, won't care about your breast size.
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Worried I should keep these stupid water bags...I don't want ugly shriveled saggy stretch mark boobs :/


Thats probably what I will have (saggy shriveled stretch marked boobs)....that is what im expecting so anything better than that will be a bonus! When I had my first child my breast went from aa to huge c to d...they actually touched each other :) BUT when my milk went away my boobs looked like prunes. Was bad but they smoothed out pretty well. Thats what im expecting from my explant.
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When I had birth control they went back to even smaller than what they were and dropped a bit. Idk I was developing. I'm 21, probably still am. I'm used to being large breasted. I had boobs at 10! I just want to be free but attractive to say the least. It's tough
I understand. I feel the same way you do...I want to be free but attractive...It is tough not knowing the outcome.

Should I cancel?

The dr hasn't called me at all, gave me no post op appt dates, didn't say what medication to pick up or when..COMPLETE NEGLECT


First off, I want to sympathize with everything you have gone through. I understand that you are very young and body image is everything to you right now. After reading all of your posts, I worry for you. I know that removing your implants will help you with your physical health, but you should also try to find some resources for your mental health. Explanting could be a very emotional experience for some and you should have someone there for you if and when you decide to get it done. I hope you make the best decision for you. Your still so young, your body will just pop right back to where it was as long as you put your health first. Good luck to you.
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Thanks for the support but just because I'm young means nothing. Everyone is making it seem like I'll be fine but what if im not ? Image isn't everything..i agree
Well when you are older, your body changes... A lot. Especially when you have kids. When your younger (I'm guilty) body image means everything. Once you have your first kid and you start inching towards 30 you would kill to have the body you did at 21, lol. I still look at pics and think "damn I looked so good and didn't even know it". You are going to be fine your skin has so much elasticity it will just bounce back. Just make sure you wear your compression bra the first 2 weeks, then after a sports bra and you'll be fine in no time. Heck my boobs were freaking gigantic and were monstrous before, my nipples changed directions from these darn implants. Day 1, I admit your going to hate it. Mine looked bad, but i felt so much relief. Day 3 they looked better. I'm on day 10 and they are level again and are starting to firm up, they are starting to look great. it's crazy what our bodies can do. Don't dwell on the what it's, you may never have to cross that hurdle.

Since he's not responding

I'm going in that day and if he's going to be a jerk on operation date, I will walk out


I'm so sorry your PS hasn't called you! Mine didn't call me either. I had to call him! I ended up getting a hold of one of his nurses, though. Still frustrating. I cannot wait until all of this is behind you! Ill be thinking about you!! Xoxo
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I called him many times and was told he would get back..I had to call kaiser corporate and for a claim....I'm upset with my treatment also concerned with the claim I filed that he is going to mess me up!
Im surprised the PS didn't tell you. Your going to want to buy a tight sports bra. I found mine at sports chalet, it was the Nike women's zip front, it is super comfortable and compresses really well. I got mine in medium, fits perfect, im about 34" around. It's to prevent seroma (fluid accumulation). Seroma = really bad. You wear it tight for the first two weeks. I am also wearing an ace bandage wrapped around my bra (from PS). After my procedure I was wearing a bra they gave me and they wrapped my in an ace bandage. I changed into mine the next day cause theirs was uncomfortable. Wear it tight for two weeks. After you can just go to wearing a regular sports bra, my PS recommended at least 1 month. Are you going under local or general anesthesia?

Second thoughts

The only reason besides pain I want them gone is because of the response I get in regard to the feel..not look. I'm sorry..I just can't go back to having small boobs...I wanted big boobs like I was used to before my anorexia bulimia came up. I love how I look in clothes. I just hate people touching them. My mom told me she would pay for silicone if I wait until I find a dr who will do it...Of course, I'd be a smaller size, but I want a softer feel..I swear, it's only the feeling...anyone with removal of silicone find them to feel hard too? Anyone know where in bay area ca I can get silicone at 21?? Law says 22..yeah idk if I could mentally return back to small breasts when I hated them on me so much..not trying to offend anyone but I was 16 with a D cup so I only feel comfy larger


After reading your last comment, it sounds to me you are not ready. Fake boobs ate just that.. Fake. They are never going to feel real. Do you really feel like once you take them out your not going to put them right back in? If its only about how they feel to other people and not truly about loving your body the way God created, you may not want to explant. Explanting is very serious to go through emotionally and physically. If you love your boobs and just want them to feel different to other people just wait out the time you need to get whatever it is you need. I'm my opinion, your not ready for the emotional roller coaster ahead. Take care of yourself.
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I'm so mad. I hate this. I don't went to be fake yet I don't want ugly raisin tits.
saggy wrinkly boobs will heal up into firm squishy handfuls! Love your natural self!
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So much going on in my head

Very unappreciative of dr James orman located at Santa Clara kaisee reconstructive cosmetic department. He never called me after our consult. He just said he would take them out. I Asked for lift and he said to wait a few months. This was about 2-3 months ago. I had to try my hardest to rush the date due to school starting on 9/23. I called him maby times and he ignored all calls, voicemails, etc. listening to women here talk about their surgeons taking time with them and lifting their creases makes me beyond miserable. Tears form just reading about the care most had as where I feel like I'm nothing and he can care less with my outcome... No one called to schedule post op appts nor told me what materials to gather prior such as medication and what garnets....nothing. I'm very unhappy/ I can't take my meds so I've been having severe anxiety over all this...


If you had friends because of your appearance, you may want to reevaluate the sincerity of those friendships. Believe it or not, there are many people in the world who love unconditionally. Those are who you should be surrounding yourself with.
I suffer from BDD it's me not them. They constantly say I look nice but my mind and disorted vision doesn't help

Going on weds

And if it is sketchy, my mother & I will leave...this is complete BS. I apologize to all for being rude I really don't mean to use an excuse but I rely and use anxiety meds. I can't use them post op so my mental state is very cooky. I feel unstable without them especially after such frequent usage. To clear one thing up- I also have very severe BDD. I don't like any physical trait I have. My version is pretty much looking in the mirror and each time I see a completely different face!! I never see the same nose or something's I'll make something out of nothing. I am thankful for patience on this board...thank you for the advice and I do really mean my apologies. I'm crying a great deal due to frustration and my mind is very crazy without meds. I seem to be snappy, usually I'm very calm and controlled but without ...eek.....


PLEASE get some counseling! Your mental state is not health, if you are suicidal without your meds, you should get some therapy immediately. NO plastic surgeon can possibly help you love your body, it's in your head, you need "brain" surgery, not cosmetic surgery (referencing Psycho-Cybernetics book, I suggest you read it). No amount of surgery will help.
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Yep I know and I've gone to therapy plenty. I have Bdd and dr Joel beck who has done my first surgery never conducted a mental evaluation - San Mateo/ SF bay area - avoid this guy!!! He and his staff could tell I was anorexic as I was 89lbs and he put 431 salines in my body in a 25-19-29 frame..... Terrible idea.
Sorry to hear, I think many PS aren't too concerned with our well-being, just with their paycheck. A greater percentage of women who get breast implans commit suicide...that alone tells us that surgery doesn't cure self esteem issues. PS take advantage of our poor self image. Societal pressure and media doesn't help either, so many people are brainwashed by it.


I'm thinking to cancel & offer him one more chance WHILST shopping around for other drs. Ladies in SF bay area - any surgeons?


Have you told the current PS about your mental illness? Or have you been hiding it from him to get what you want? He should not be performing any type of surgery on you right now in your current state. Your upset at your inital surgeon for doing surgery on you when you weren't in your right frame of mind. The current surgeon should not be doing it either!! You should be less concerned with getting even and more concerned with getting help. You should cancel your surgery immediatly if in fact the surgeon is still planning on doing it, which I hope for your sake he is not. Contact your psychiatrist and see if you should get back on your medication. Your right, no amount of therapy will make you pretty, it's a frame of mind and a state of being. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Go get some help immediatly, I don't think this forum will give you what you really need.
I think you're gorgeous and that's from the neck up! Therapy won't make you pretty, but it will help you identify and eliminate the negative feedback you're hearing inside your head that you makes you think you are ugly. Forget the implants for a moment. Take 5 minutes and write down all of the thoughts that are running through your brain. Then look at what you've written down. Turn each one around into a positive sentence. Make the positive sentences your mantra! For example, I became suicidal and sunk into a deep depression after getting my implants. They're small silicones, mind you, that healed quickly and look absolutely perfect, as if I were born with them. But, I got them for the wrong reasons, and I suffered from regret and grieved over my pre-BA breasts. After writing down all of the negative thoughts, and studying the Four Agreements by Miguel Angel Ruiz, I realized I am creating all of the negative in my head and convincing myself that I am ugly and no one truly loves me! I turn that around by saying I am beautiful and lots of people love me, and I find every day that this is true which reinforces this mantra and each day I find myself getting back to the happier person I was before. You're going to get there, ceelo, you just need to believe. Check out the Four Agreements, they've really helped me.
Thing is, it's kaiser so they have the right to see my files and he knows. Dr James ormans assistant said to me on the phone, "he doesn't want to help you. Due to your psychiatric chart, he sees you are mentally ill and believes you are lying to him. You have a lot of problems. We don't believe people like you who have so maby issues." after she said that, I was disgusted...I had a feeling that's why after she said that...she doesn't even have a right to my file in her department.... :( pick on the mentally ill and hold it against them.. Ignorant for calling me a liar. I'm over this jack ass. I guess I'll waste more time but AT LEAST I will have the outcome I desire...which I demand a lifted crease by all means. If a doctor won't remove the extra sag (which even a cat could see would cause droopiness) then im not interested. It's called cosmetic surgery aka the patient chooses her look and I choose no sag . I better be the way I was about 1 month after!

Very upset

Ive been crying all day and night over the rudeness from dr ormon. No pre op visit, not one phone call, didn't tell me about garnets to wear, no information in how he's going to operate...I don't want just a removal....I'm pretty sure that's all he's interested in doing & that isn't what I want. I want my crease lifted. I didn't know that was an option. I don't want puckered nipples. I don't want to be deflated. What if you guys are raising my hopes and I don't even look good? This dr has been avoiding me like a plague. Maybe he's hoping I won't do it? I still don't understand what's behind his neglect and very rude attitude..I feel very unhappy and uncomfortable with him doing this surgery on me. I'm very frightened. My body says it isn't right & to push the date... I'm absolutely terrified something would go wrong. By him avoiding me, we aren't on the same page. For gods sake, why didn't I have a pre op appt? I wasn't even informed on ANYTHING....research online varies. I feel very sad today. Crying non stop..I just want a burger and fries so bad but my favorite place is closed


You need to trust the PS for removal.... however my PS has no bedside manners but I didn't want him for that I wanted him for his skills and knowledge... I'm very happy with my results after 19 years of implants I wanted to be me again.... in total I saw the PS about 5 min... I wish you all the best, it's very imotional to have surgery...
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Thanks but I cannot trust someone who really has made me feel rushed 24 hrs prior...I feel confused and disrespected by him
Listen, my ps didn't talk to me before my removal at all. I just spoke with him the day of surgery. You don't need your creases raised, unless you have a severe complication, your creases will roll right back up to where they were after the implant is removed. You boobs will look weird for a little while, but they will fluff, the tissue will retract, and you will have normal looking 20-something year old boobs. Don't be so hard on yourself. If all fails and you hate your removal results, you can alway re-implant later down the line. But the longer you keep your implants, the more your tissue/shape of your boob will be changed by them. Goodluck, I hope you have lots of friends and family supporting you!! You will be okay, and so will your boobs :) xxx
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Very depressed

He hasn't even called me...I feel trapped in this ugly body. I'm so miserable

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I want them out

I dont want these stupid things anymore. I hate kaiser!


Please please don't go through this surgery while you are in this state of mind. You aren't well, sweetheart, and you know it. Can I ask why you are off your meds? Did you need to stop prior to surgery or something?
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I just want to be normal..I feel like everyone is implying I'm nuts. Im not a nut im normal with feelings. ... They told me no meds before

My mental health

Is no ones business keep if out. Im honestly disgusted that I'm being put in a box. I have normal feelings but to you guys it isn't considered just normal...must be worst. Keep my mental health out of it. Sorry you're not 21, missing school over stupid boob explaining, sorry youre not going to look 82 at 21, sorry you don't endure anything I do but I'm not sorry for your ignorance..I'm offended. Just trying to share my experience & have support. When I'm put down for my honesty, I don't want it shoved in my face. Thanks for making me feel even worse. Good day everyone. I'll come back when I want to


Dont worry! Im in the same situation! I WANT TO GET THEM OUT but scared! But my decision is made, And I'm doing this for my health, witch is more important than boobs! Just go do it! You'll thank yourself later on :-) hope you make the right decision! Im 26 got implants in at 21! Im on the list for removal next week or the following week at the latest! :-) best of luck x
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Oh please, stop with the victim mindset...we are all here because we are looking to improve the way we look (ultimately the way we feel), about ourselves. You made a choice to have surgery, now you want to undo it, same here. Live and learn, maybe help and support others who made, or are about to make the same mistake, instead of wallowing in self pity. It clearly isn't helping you anyways. If you're worried about looking older, remembrt, worry adds years ;-)
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Wow!!!!! when you started discussing your mental health issues (suicide, cutting, BDD, anorexia, etc...)on a public forum, you made it everyone else's business. NO ONE is putting you in a box. EVERYONE is trying to help and support you. No one is normal, were all different, we come from different walks of life , and have different experiences. Your feelings may be normal, but from the way you are talking, they are definitely not healthy. I have read several of your reviews where you have shunned other women for making comments you felt were disrespectful (when in all honesty they were fine). But you must agree they way you just told other people that its none of their business and to keep out of it is just plain rude. They are ALL trying to help and be extremely supportive and have done nothing but look out for your best interest. I really do hope you have someone in your life that does look out for your because pushing out people who really do care is not the best way to go. Good luck to you.
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Surgeon hasn't returned my phone calls in 3 weeks... Instead ive dealt with assistants and very rude kaiser employees..he hasn't even asked how I want it done..guess I could tell him day of but this is rubbing me the wrong way since people in my life took time off from work to care for me ..I'm really upset

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