Breast Implant Removal - Santa Clara, CA

I grew up with large breasts. When I was 16, I...

I grew up with large breasts. When I was 16, I decided to take birth control which made my boobs massive. I really enjoyed having bigger boobs. They were great! Sure, they got in the way and were a distraction to everyone, but being young; I didn't mind. After I stopped the BC, my boobs started going down in size and became much smaller than the initial breast size I had prior.

Many would question what happened to my bust. That really upset me since I was used to being hailed for my boobs. It was rather shallow now I think about it..point is, I started to become anorexic around 18 and my boobs went to an a cup. No one made fun of me except ONE time. I was at a store and that very day I felt rather ashamed of my a cup. I put my shirt on without wearing a bra because I didn't need it. The woman at the store asked me what size I needed for a raver bra top and I responded with, "the smallest size you have." She mocked me and said my breasts were so small, I'd need padding, socks and etc to even fill it out. She was nagging me very loud in the store. I began to cry and ripped it out of her hands. The man next to me then told me, "screw her." It was very embarrassing. I never forgot that day.

My sex life was lagging too. It made me feel absolutely terrible no one would touch my boobs since all I was used to was being bombarded with, "your boobs are amazing" and hearing nothing really stripped me of my pride. I grew into a deep depression to the point I was an alcoholic pill popper. Not only were these two things my vices, they were my life. With the hazy mindset filled with toxins, I was obsessed with wanting bigger boobs. I thought they were the answers. After two years of begging, harassing and abusing my family with threats to receive a very selfish boob job - they gave in. I went to three surgeons. First one was Dr. George Commons (Palo Alto) who was quite money hungry. I never went to him for the surgery. In fact, I backed out and felt redeemed with a better confidence assuming I didn't need the surgery. Three dates were skipped. I then when to Dr. Lauren Greenberg (Palo Alto) who refused to work on me. Why I never listened to her? I have no idea...drugs, alcohol, bad self-esteem. Out of depression and not giving a darn what anyone said to me, I went to Dr. Beck of San Mateo. He was my last straw. I believed that he could fix my life with a surgery. He agreed to what I wanted and desired.

I went into surgery 9/19/12, went from an A cup to DD in under an hour which seemed to be a miracle until the complications arose. Quickly, I bottomed out and went to him numerous times complaining of pain. He dismissed anything appeared wrong. Though, if you look at my images I posted, can't you see how bad it looked? It's been many months later and multiple visits to him where he has told me that a revision would cost money though our contract stated it would be free. Blah blah blah depression, attempted suicide, cutting, drugs, more booze later, I stopped all of it. I stopped filling my mind with junk. I even stopped watching television and reading magazines. My friends (thank God!) began helping me with meditation, Buddhism and much more. For that, I am so thankful for all they offered. I found a doctor who would perform the removal and believed my ailments. I am scheduled to have these suckers taken out on 9/4/13. Reason for removal? Bottoming out, not being able to exercise, run, walk on stairs, drive, lift my arms to shoulder level, being hunched over constantly AND realizing breasts aren't everything. Mind you, I am being quite honest with my substance issue. It tainted my mind, body and soul.

I know that my beauty is in my acts of kindness and never the case my soul is housed in. I am much more than boobs. My mind is beautiful and enticing. I do not believe surgery could make me more attractive. I love me for me. All I need is these water bags gone! I apologize if this was rather TMI, but I had to be honest ladies (and gents).

Nervous...Not sure if I want small breasts again

I am very nervous as it is 1 week 6 days approaching. I love the size I am. I am petrified of the sagging and sadness to follow, especially with my depressive substance abuse past. I am not sure if I can deal with being small breasted again. Nothing is wrong with small boobs, but I truly love the attention I get...though I will NOT miss boys being disgustingly rude to me when touching my boobs. I have very mixed emotions right now....I know I need them out for my health and after I can resume my active lifestyle and hopes of competing in track once more.

Scared

I don't know how I feel. I have severe allergies to Vicodin. Ladies - anyone have similar allergies? I don't just mean a manageable sniffle here and there. I'm talking full blown attack- system shutting down and feeling like death. Took a few Vicodin given for migraines today and immediately received hives. My body is full of rashes. I was also vomiting. My body knows its toxic to my system..what can they do for me? I'm scared I'll die next week as I'm operated on seeing I've gone against rules to have pain killers and I'm dealing with these ailments....I'm a terrible person. Dealing with addiction and having real pain is awful. Makes me sad that this is what I've done. Ugh I don't want to admit I took pills and I have a bad reaction due to Vicodin :(

Woke up and allergy faded!

That was really scary... So my surgeon hasn't called me at all..I don't know where my surgery will be held. Idk if I trust this guy :(

One Week

I am very eager and scared. I never liked small boobs no offense, so I am very sad to have to go back..I just want to focus on my health though and not my sadness...I know it is natural to be sad, but still...I don't know how I will feel looking ugly and saggy.

Freaking out

I am very much freaking out and can't stop having anxiety. I'm having severe heart pains and can feel palpitations. Breathing is hard. I've been crying non-stop. No offense to those on here, but I couldn't be happy looking saggy..most are older than me. I'm 21 not 40. Ok? I want to be attractive and like my peers. Not only am I ugly face wise, so is my body - my breasts are ruined and there is zero way I'm
Going to look ok ..I know it. There's just nothing to make me look "good as new." I've been going against the no pull rule and popping Xanax like candy. I cannot relax..I cannot stay calm. Urges of the past are coming on. It's a very painful day...mentally I feel awful. I don't wanna see how I'll look. I'm petrified

Crease question

I went from a/b cup to DD.. I'm concerned my old crease won't return. How do the creases work?! I know the sagging and puckering won't be pretty at first. I hope my body can bounce back fast :((

Feeling a little relieved

Starting to take life more seriously than boobs or being attractive

Scared

Worried I should keep these stupid water bags...I don't want ugly shriveled saggy stretch mark boobs :/

Should I cancel?

The dr hasn't called me at all, gave me no post op appt dates, didn't say what medication to pick up or when..COMPLETE NEGLECT

Since he's not responding

I'm going in that day and if he's going to be a jerk on operation date, I will walk out

Second thoughts

The only reason besides pain I want them gone is because of the response I get in regard to the feel..not look. I'm sorry..I just can't go back to having small boobs...I wanted big boobs like I was used to before my anorexia bulimia came up. I love how I look in clothes. I just hate people touching them. My mom told me she would pay for silicone if I wait until I find a dr who will do it...Of course, I'd be a smaller size, but I want a softer feel..I swear, it's only the feeling...anyone with removal of silicone find them to feel hard too? Anyone know where in bay area ca I can get silicone at 21?? Law says 22..yeah idk if I could mentally return back to small breasts when I hated them on me so much..not trying to offend anyone but I was 16 with a D cup so I only feel comfy larger

So much going on in my head

Very unappreciative of dr James orman located at Santa Clara kaisee reconstructive cosmetic department. He never called me after our consult. He just said he would take them out. I Asked for lift and he said to wait a few months. This was about 2-3 months ago. I had to try my hardest to rush the date due to school starting on 9/23. I called him maby times and he ignored all calls, voicemails, etc. listening to women here talk about their surgeons taking time with them and lifting their creases makes me beyond miserable. Tears form just reading about the care most had as where I feel like I'm nothing and he can care less with my outcome... No one called to schedule post op appts nor told me what materials to gather prior such as medication and what garnets....nothing. I'm very unhappy/ I can't take my meds so I've been having severe anxiety over all this...

Going on weds

And if it is sketchy, my mother & I will leave...this is complete BS. I apologize to all for being rude I really don't mean to use an excuse but I rely and use anxiety meds. I can't use them post op so my mental state is very cooky. I feel unstable without them especially after such frequent usage. To clear one thing up- I also have very severe BDD. I don't like any physical trait I have. My version is pretty much looking in the mirror and each time I see a completely different face!! I never see the same nose or something's I'll make something out of nothing. I am thankful for patience on this board...thank you for the advice and I do really mean my apologies. I'm crying a great deal due to frustration and my mind is very crazy without meds. I seem to be snappy, usually I'm very calm and controlled but without ...eek.....

Cancel??

I'm thinking to cancel & offer him one more chance WHILST shopping around for other drs. Ladies in SF bay area - any surgeons?

Very upset

Ive been crying all day and night over the rudeness from dr ormon. No pre op visit, not one phone call, didn't tell me about garnets to wear, no information in how he's going to operate...I don't want just a removal....I'm pretty sure that's all he's interested in doing & that isn't what I want. I want my crease lifted. I didn't know that was an option. I don't want puckered nipples. I don't want to be deflated. What if you guys are raising my hopes and I don't even look good? This dr has been avoiding me like a plague. Maybe he's hoping I won't do it? I still don't understand what's behind his neglect and very rude attitude..I feel very unhappy and uncomfortable with him doing this surgery on me. I'm very frightened. My body says it isn't right & to push the date... I'm absolutely terrified something would go wrong. By him avoiding me, we aren't on the same page. For gods sake, why didn't I have a pre op appt? I wasn't even informed on ANYTHING....research online varies. I feel very sad today. Crying non stop..I just want a burger and fries so bad but my favorite place is closed

Very depressed

He hasn't even called me...I feel trapped in this ugly body. I'm so miserable

I want them out

I dont want these stupid things anymore. I hate kaiser!

My mental health

Is no ones business ..so keep if out. Im honestly disgusted that I'm being put in a box. I have normal feelings but to you guys it isn't considered just normal...must be worst. Keep my mental health out of it. Sorry you're not 21, missing school over stupid boob explaining, sorry youre not going to look 82 at 21, sorry you don't endure anything I do but I'm not sorry for your ignorance..I'm offended. Just trying to share my experience & have support. When I'm put down for my honesty, I don't want it shoved in my face. Thanks for making me feel even worse. Good day everyone. I'll come back when I want to
Name not provided

Surgeon hasn't returned my phone calls in 3 weeks... Instead ive dealt with assistants and very rude kaiser employees..he hasn't even asked how I want it done..guess I could tell him day of but this is rubbing me the wrong way since people in my life took time off from work to care for me ..I'm really upset

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