Wanting to Explant Only 2 Months Post BA... - Roanoke, VA

My explant is scheduled for January 6th at 8a.m. I will have had my implants for 4months at that time. I am getting so very nervous. They don't look that bad, the left one is actually quite comfortable....its my right one that is giving me all the problems. :-/ It constantly feels like its pulling, and it has a heaviness about it. Wearing a normal bra is so uncomfortable that I only wear sports bras. Also, when I walk its most comfortable to walk with my arms crossed and under my chest, kind of supporting them I guess, bc my right one feels like ifs trying to bottom out or something. I'm so very nervous as to what I'm going to look like post explant.....when I look in the mirror with these things its not too bad, but the amount of discomfort!!! Geeze. I actually didn't have a problem with my small breasts, I just felt like it would be nice to fill shirts out and not be so flat and my chest bone sticks out....I breastfed for 9months and my boobs disappeared on me. :-/
I know a lot of women on here fluff ul after explant, I just feel I'm not going to have much to fluff up. I know its the right thing to do to get them out....I've also been experiencing really bad night sweats, its like someone dumped a bucket of water on my chest. :-/ I am getting my explant January 6th then my husband, daughter and I will be driving 2hrs to get to where our family is bc we have a week vacation. I will be staying at my moms the whole time trying to relax, I just know its going to be so very tough on me with not being to talk to them about everything and how I'm feeling bc they don't truly understand. I have decided to try not to let my husband see me cry afterwards bc I have already out him through enough stress with these things.....so if I need to cry I will do it behind closed doors. I will try my hardest to put on a smile and be positive about all of this around him. I just hate oh so very much that I did this to myself and have put everyone else through it too, my mom and husband need a break from always hearing about it. But its so very hard not having anyone here to talk to, so I'm ALWAYS on realself reading stories and looking at pictures and chatting with women on here and on explantinfo on facebook. I need you ladies.

I am 25yrs old, 5"3, 105lbs. I am 2months post ba w/371 silicone unders. I started out with a small a cup. I do not like how these implants feel inside of me whatsoever....I have slight rippling near the cleavage area of my right breast and its kind of sore, and I have a pulling/stretching sensation near the cleavage as well. I was so excited to finally be getting boobs, but now that I know how they feel inside of me and how uncomfortable they are, such as having a void between hugs, not being comfortable when I lay on my sides or stomach and constantly being aware of them...I do not want to invest in a lifetime of surgeries and costs with these things. I have talked to my ps and he has said he would remove them for me at my 6month mark for $500, I am scheduled to see him Dec.5th for my 3month checkup. I am going to ask him if he will remove them come January/early February....I have read the longer they are in the more they stretch your skin out. I am not ill with them, just dissatisfied with them. My ps has said removing just the implant in my case should be sufficient enough and not having to remove the capsule. I have read lots of mixed reviews on this. I am also scared of muscle deformity after explant since I have unders. I am terrified as to what I will look like once I explant, I have read you will look very deflated and lose all of your upper pole fullness. :-/ I wish I had thought more about the negatives of these things instead of the positives. I have a beautiful 2yr old daughter and I feel I am not my same energetic self when it comes to playing with her ever since I got these things. I know a lot of women who have gotten implants and love them and say they feel like a part of them, but they are just not for me. :-/ I wish I could rewind time, but I know I would just still be wondering about them. I'm hoping the next couple of months fly by and I get these out and the explant operation goes smoothly and can somewhat bounce back to what I looked like before. I don't want to look in the mirror post explant and hate what I see. :-( I have my fingers crossed....I really need a turn around when it comes to luck bc I feel ever since I got these implants things have been spiraling down. If anyone out there reads this, and has been through this, please share with me your experience and what I may be looking forward to when it comes to post explant.