Just got my date. I can't believe I am actually...
Just got my date. I can't believe I am actually doing this in a little over a month. I am scared to do so much at once but I am praying for the best. I've seen photos and spoken to his patients and the results are just amazing. I've been wanting this for so long and I am finally doing it. I had weight loss surgery almost 6 years ago and had 2 children so my body took a toll. I lost 200 lbs and really need some work done.
Time is going by sooooo slow
I feel like now that surgery is scheduled time is at a stand still. The anxiety I have is just unbearable. I can't help but obsesses over the procedure and keep asking myself if I am making the right decision. At times I even feel selfish for spending this kind of money on this. BUT no turning back as deposit is paid for and I really want this. Please come quick October 16th. I am now just preparing myself buying things I will need based on recommendations I've gotten. I am renting a recliner for a month so I can be comfortable.
34 more days to go
Only 34 more days to go. I've scheduled my mammography for next Tuesday and doing all my labs and EKG on Monday. Clearance for surgery can't come soon enough.
The emotional roller coaster I am on is insane. I day dream of what I will look like and know the results may not be what I am envisioning. I am petrified of how I will handle the pain and how much this surgery will make me dependent on others and for how long. I have 2 small children who love mommy time and sitting on my lap as well as laying on top of me. How will they handle me not being able to do this with them for a while? All these thoughts are consuming me and make time go by so slowly.
Anxiety is a bit***
I am one of those individuals that are very impatient and this waiting is playing mind games with me. I have become obsessed with reading online and looking at before an after photos.
Well I have scheduled my pre-op appointment for next week and will be getting my pre-op tests today and my mammogram tomorrow morning. I think once I have medical clearance some of this anxiety will go away or at least I hope so. I spoke to the coordinator today about staying 2 nights at the Care One facility vs. staying at the hospital one night. I think this is my best bet as I can see the first 2 days are brutal and at least I will be at the facility.
PS only 30 more days to go.
I ordered my first bikini ever.
So I decided to order a bikini that ties on sides of the bottoms to take my before, during and after photos. I never imagined in a million years that the possibility of wearing one is there after this procedure. I pray I will be able to
Wear it when I go on vacation in march next year.
With these wings I should be able to fly
Here are photos of my batwings. It's amazing because even at a size 6-8 depending on the angle I look fat because of my arms in photos. Can't wait till they're gone.
Here are a few before photos
I know many people tell me I am "not that bad" and yes I will admit that for a 200 lb loss it isn't that bad but I want all that skin gone. Now I keep wondering about if I will need the medial thigh lift later on. I am also trying to decide between high profile or moderate plus silicone implants. Decisions decisions.
My bikini has arrived
I will be taking some pics in a few days wearing it as comparison. Only 3 weeks to go. My pre-op appointment is on Wednesday. I will try on sizers to figure out how big I want my implants. I am 95% sure I am going with moderate plus silicone implants. I will listen to what Dr. Capella has to say but I think moderate plus is the way to go for me.
Ok it's really happening. I am paid in full and implant size has been chosen. I am hoping I didn't get boob greed when I chose 500 ccs moderate plus silicone implants. I am sooooo excited and so ready for the day to get here already. Dr. Capella is so amazing. He assured me that I would have the same curvy shape but much smoother and no more rolls. Now my concern is showing up at work 3 weeks post op and my boob job being obvious LOL. We shall see how it goes. He recommended I wear bras now with more stuffing so my boobs appear bigger now and then the change will be subtle. I think I will do that. I told him I want my boobs to fall like natural breast and to look normal when I wear a regular bra during the week and then on weekends if I want to wear a push up and push them up to my neck then I have that option LOL. He laughed when I said that. Working in a very corporate environment I want to make sure that's how they are. OMG this is really happening. Three weeks from today at this time I will be on the flat side. I can't believe this is really happening. Somebody pinch me and wake me up please.
Got a little scare today
So I got a voice mail from my primary doc's office to please call them immediately about my surgery clearance. My heart dropped as they were supposed to send this yesterday. Immediately I thought the worse and called with my heart on my "ass" (excuse my french). THANKFULLY they just wanted to let me know that they faxed it over and had a copy waiting for me in case I wanted to pick it up at their office. I CAME BACK TO LIFE :). I am officially cleared for surgery and I couldn't be happier. Now there's nothing holding me back (god willing nothing comes up). I have it all figured out as far as after care and my kids. Even found out today that not only will I have my mother in law to pamper me my aunt is also coming to Dominican Republic to help take care of me. This is working out soooo well and I couldn't be happier. Now if only the 16th can get here already.
On another note my boss got promoted and she immediately came running to tell me to apply for her position (at my current company you apply and interview for promotions as if you were applying for a new job). I am soooo excited about this as I've only been at this company 8 months and have been recognized for my abilities and I am constantly told I am over qualified for what I do. Now I won't hold my breath since 4 other people on my team have applied but I feel very good as I think I have a very good chance at this. My boss told me that our VP told her that as far as she's concerned I will be interviewed and will make sure my interview is done before I go out for surgery. Now fingers crossed but if it doesn't happen I will be ok. Someone pinch me because way too many good things are happening.
It's coming up soon
I am still anxious for the day to get her. Playing over and over in my head what my recovery will be like? Will I have the same amazing results as I've seen online? Then my mind switches gears and I start making a list of all the things I need to buy for my recovery. In the next few days I'll make a list of all the things I've read online are a must have for a smoother recovery. I am going on a business trip for a couple of days next week and have my interviews on Monday and Tuesday for the promotion I applied for so I have a busy week ahead. After my business trip I have to make a custom cake for a friend so I am almost grateful for the busy week ahead so it can fly by without many thoughts of my upcoming surgery.
Yikes less than 2 weeks away
The anxiety is setting in. Still need to buy so many things to make post op life easier. Already filled all my prescriptions, made my first post op appointment, have a ride for that appointment, pretty much have worked out everything. I feel truly blessed to have such a big family and have great friends and great bosses who are being super supportive and will be there every step of the way.
Still debating on whether to buy the toilet riser. I have bidets in both my bathrooms and if I use the riser I won't be able to use the bidet. I love that thing and prefer it over just toilet paper. Decisions decisions.
So anxious that I am getting heart palpitations
As the days come closer I get so nervous. I am literally getting heart palpitations. And the fear and anxiety are making me feel depression even before the day arrives. I am praying that all these doubts and fears pay off.
I think I have thought everything out and I am good to go
I've made all arrangements necessary for help post op, transportation to my first pre-op appointment, help for my kids, etc. The planner in me has been anal about thinking everything out. I went out this weekend and bought a ton of things for post op. Here's a list of everything I've got:
*Medical recliner rented for one month
*toilet seat riser (budged and ordered a cheap one I found for $20 on amazon)
*Arnica Montana to take 1 week pre and post
*Straws to facilitate drinking post arm lift
*safety pins for drains
*Hibiclins soap to bathe a few days pre op and then post op
*Panti liners to keep armpit dry
*bralettes and another surgical bra
*front clap sports bra
*2 front closure sweaters
*tights and yoga pants (yes I am one of those weird people that don't wear tights)
*a few pajamas that button front
*pillows and more pillows
*doggie wee wee pads to put on recliner to ensure I don't stain it.
*New bath sponge to use with the special soap.
*stool softener and saline enema just in case
*tic tacs to keep my mouth fresh (allergic to gum so tic tacs it is)
*and will prepare easy meals pre-op for when I am home alone post op. Thankfully my aunt is taking care of me for min a week and she cooks AMAZING. I am only making easy meals for when she leaves and I am home alone before returning to work.
I am also going to take out all clothing, night gowns that are appropriate to wear during recovery so my husband doesn't go crazy when I ask him to get it for me in my closet.
One more thing I am a little paranoid about
I normally get my period around this time. I've been having boob tenderness the last 3 days but still NOTHING. Normally day after my boobs get tender AF comes. I am worried that due to my anxiety it's delaying me getting my friend and I'll have it for surgery.
Ok this can't be happening...
My 2 year old just came down with a bad cold. Poor kid has a hard time breathing. I am worried as I always catch what they get. And this is a kid that's attached to my hip so avoiding him will be impossible. I pray he gets better and I don't catch this. One week from today I will be having my day before surgery freak out moment.
It's official, I am coming down with a cold...
As much as I try to avoid my 2 year old so I don't get sick it's impossible as he is extremely attached to me. While I love that he is I wish the last 2 days I could have avoided him like a plague but mommy duty comes first so I didn't. Today I have a bad headache and already have a runny nose and I am sneezing. I hope I get over this cold before surgery. One week from today I will be in the OR.
I NEVER thought I would say this.
But I am soooo happy I got my period. I woke up with the wonderful surprise. So looks like I won't have it for my surgery after all since mine lasts about 4 days. I can't believe it's coming up so soon.
It's almost here and I still can't believe it.
I am prepping the major stuff this weekend for my upcoming surgery. Tomorrow I will have my husband take my dreaded before photos and will take my measurements. I am so excited and nervous for what's to come. I can't believe in a few days I will no longer carry all this skin that has tormented me for so long.
Only 2 more sleeps...
I can't believe the day after tomorrow is my big day. I was calm all weekend and then last night I had a nightmare that my brother in law died suddenly and left his wife widowed. So today I am second guessing why I dreamed that. Gave my husband the "if I die speech". But then again I always do this even when I am travelling for work without my family. I always fear is the last time I'll ever see them. This weekend I was swamped but did take my measurements which I will post tonight or tomorrow with my pics. I haven't taken my before photos but will have the hubby do so tonight. I keep thinking in 2 more days I will be free from all this skin. Now I pray for smooth and complication free recovery.
At this time tomorrow...
I will be in the process of joining the flat side. I can't believe it's almost here. I am so anxious and so excited. My medical recliner gets delivered today. Tonight I will pack my meds and things I need for the hospital. I will also put all articles of clothing I can wear during my recovery in one bin for the hubby. I will try and take my bikini shots tonight and post along with my stats.
Oh boy not so cute in a bikini...
Well here you go guys. I don't know that I'll ever be able to wear one of those. Looking at these pics I have so much cellulite that I am not sure how "smooth" I can look after the lift but hey I am sure it'll look better than now. As promised here are my stats:
All measurements are in inches.
At the hospital and I am early...
16 Oct 2013
Day of treatment
I am a ball of nerves. My stomach is making sounds it's never made out if anxiety. This is going to suck as I normally have a bowel movement at 6:30 am and by that time I will be under. Hope my body behaves. See you all on the flat side and thanks for your words of encouragement. I will try to update you all as soon as I can.
I am on the flat side
I am now home and doing ok. Will post more details later as I am so out of it. Percocet are kicking my butt. Can't even keep my eyes open. Yes pain is manageable but hate the zombie feeling. Just switched to Tylenol with codeine. Wish me luck. Here are 2 photos
So sorry for the delay in posting
It's been quite a ride. Not in a bad way though. I've been overwhelmed with pampering and visits from my loved ones. I am also so out of it with the narcotics but unfortunately the Tylenol only hasn't been good to help with the pain and tightness. The one thing I can't stand is that tightness and the feeling of pulling my incisions. I am walking straighter but wish I wasn't so hunched over still as my poor back is killing me.
To me the muscle repair was brutal first 2-3 days. Now it's just sore. My boobs and the pressure have been worse Than the muscle repair. My arms haven't been all that bad. I am just super careful w them but have been able to do some things for myself.
Results? So far what I've been able to see I am super happy about. Since my full length mirror is bolted on wall upstairs I've relied on quick pics my family takes. My boobs look great and so does my belly. I truly am smooth and my family tells me I look super skinny. My butt looks nice and round just like I wanted it. My arms are also so tiny. I can't wait to take decent photos to post.
Oh And how I wish I could poop
So far no bowel movement and it sucks.
One more thing...
The pie crust scars are very impressive and scary. I wasn't expecting how scary looking they are. Even hubby got taken back by them. Can't wait till they heal flat. Anyone knows when that'll happen?
Had my one week follow up today...
All looks good and I will be switching to extra strength Tylenol. I can't handle the narcotics. The drowsiness and hallucinations were not cool. I felt like I wasn't me. Yesterday all day and last night were by far the worse. The constipation took its toll on me and I felt like I was going to explode. Thank god for my mother in law who gave me a suppository and then half an enema. I got some releif but not enough. Tonight I will do another suppository. I've tried stool softened, miralax, milk of magnesium, prunes and nothing. Last night my back started having muscle spasms. I can't sleep in that recliner tonight. I will attempt sleeping with my hubby and in my own bed with lots of pillows. Today since my appt I've been on my couch but my back is just numb and in pain. Here are some pics with clothes on today and I am still swollen. I purposely posed to show my scars. Oh and 2 drains came out and it feels so much better.
Last night sleeping in my bed was epic fail....
I switched to regular tylenol extra strength. Last night I took it and took a sleep aid to help me sleep. My husband helped me get on my side and I had loads of pillows under me and around me. Well my entire body went numb and my back started itching like crazy. I couldn't get comfortable and I was just miserable. I woke my husband up frantic and crying so he could bring me back down to the miserable recliner. I took a percocet and hoped for the best. The narcotic did knock me out but I still have the awful back pain and spasms. I honestly regretted it all last night for the first time. I pray all this will be worth it. I am so depressed and miserable and wish I could go back to the days where I could sleep all day and night in the beginning. Please tell me I will turn the corner soon.
Last night was a MUCH BETTER NIGHT...
Thank God for my hubby. My mother in law gave me a shower (yes I am being paranoid with my arms and won't shower on my own still so my hubby or MIL still shower me). When he came home he brought me benadryl and a medicated bengay. He massaged my back and rubbed the bengay all over back and shoulders (far from incision). Then he gave me my benadryl, one percocet and my stool softeners. He also brought me a back massager and OMG that felt amazing. I fell asleep with it on low on my back and slept on the recliner like a baby. No back spasms. Today I've been working from home already and feel so much better. The back massager has been a god sent. I am really hoping I am turning the corner. I was able to poop 2 times today and have been without any pain killers. Hoping this continues as today I feel so much more energized. Even made myself a cup of coffee. Since surgery I've been waited on hand and foot by my husband and Mother in law. Felt good to do something on my own today.
So I decided to be adventurous and weigh in...
So after I had posted my stats and actually weighed myself night before surgery I was actually 176. Guess all the anxiety and extra sweets made me gain some weight that last week. Well today I am 162.4 lbs and I am sooo happy. Here are some pics I just took. Couldn't get my butt because well I just can't do it yet but will ask my hubby.
Gas pains are a bitc....
Last night the Valium did help with back spasms. Today my back fees better. Well fast forward a couple of hours and I got the worse chest pain. Really felt like I was having a heart attack. The pain radiated down my stomach. It was and is awful. I began frantically walking around and my amazing mother in law was rubbing my back and stomach and made me anise tea. I was able to begin burping. Now I just have a stomach ache. So my MIL gave me a suppository to get things moving. Now as I type this I wait for it to take effect. Never a dull moment.
Still oozing from incision...
I am still oozing from my back and it smells nasty. I emailed doctor and he said it's normal as long as there's no fever. But boy does it smell. It comes from my back only so I wonder if it's from laying on my back all the time.
So I think I opened my butt crack...
I've been oozing from that area here and there and let's just say it smells nasty so I've been putting panty liners to help as guys it reeks. I can't see the opening but now feel discomfort there and it burns a
Little when I am sitting and lying down. And now it's oozing even more. This is so annoying. I will call the doctor on Monday or perhaps wait till Tuesday. I know all he will say is to keep it clean and dry but how do I do that if it's constantly oozing?
PS can't believe I am up this early. Note to self. Don't take Valium too early in the evening so you can sleep all night.
Does having body contouring increase our libido?
I swear all I can think of is jumping my husband. I mean in our 14 years I've always found my 6'7" olive skin, nice built body man attractive but now all I want to do is jump his bones, ha ha ha. You see for many years I didn't understand how such a good looking and overall good man could fall in love with a fat blob like me. Yes that's how I saw myself. Also for years I was so insecure because even today his looks and attentive personality attract way too much attention. Till this day he's been with me thru all my ups and downs and even when I broke up with him for a few years to take care of my weight and health he always stuck around supporting me. So for me having this surgery for myself will work wonders for my self esteem and I can be the sexy wife with cute night gowns and nice lingerie I've always wanted to be but didn't dare to be due to first my weight and then the nasty skin.
Now I still don't feel sexy by any means. I mean I am still hunched over, my hair is a mess and haven't worn any makeup since the day before surgery. I also still have 2 drains and man my body feels soooo tight that I wonder if I'll ever feel normal again. Yet despite all that I keep planning for that first time post op and how I want it to be special. I even ordered sexy thong/crotchless panties so that while my incision is still looking ugly I can wear them and my incisions will be hidden. I also ordered some cute bralettes to wear with these thongs. It feels so good that he keeps saying how good I am looking and this is only the beginning. But he's also extra gentle and all his focus is in taking care of me. When I make sexual remarks he laughs and says that I can't handle him yet, LOL.
On another note last night I asked my mom to take my 2 boys and sent my mother in law home for the weekend to take care of my father in law so that my poor husband can get some rest. I am becoming much more self sufficient and wanted him to have a night without waking up tending to me and sleep late the next morning. He decided to take me out to eat dinner for some fresh air. I was sooo happy to go out and man in just 2 weeks it got cold in NJ. I actually wore a sweater and a coat. We went to my favorite chain restaurant TGIFridays. Of course after a few bites of my meal I was stuffed but it felt good to get out without the kids and for us to just talk. Well a lot of the talk was my boob size. I was wearing a tank top and a sweater and well lets just say it's hard to hide my DDs with a tank top. So I caught him staring at them until he finally brought them up. I finally asked him if he liked them. He smiled and said he couldn't wait to grab them and asked me if they still hurt. Unfortunately for me they are still very sore otherwise I would welcome his touch in a heartbeat. For some reason my nipples are over sensitive. I can't even touch them without feeling so much sensation and I mean in a good way. I was worried about that but man I have much more sensation now than before. Well enough with all this steamy talk. I swear my dirty mind is just playing tricks on me.
PS I finally had a bowel movement on my own this morning and OMG it was A LOT and I couldn't be happier. I feel like I lost 3 lbs, LOL. The things that bring us joy at this stage. Must have been last night's dinner and the cuban sandwich my husband bought me when he dropped off my MIL in NY.
Felt soooo good to shower on my own....
Well ok maybe I had a little help. But I was able to wash my hair on my own and pretty much shower on my own and only asked hubby for help with my back and drying my incisions well. I also dressed mostly on my own. I want to be completely independent already. I hate depending on others. I am still super tight and having some back aches but they're getting better. I only take one valium to help me sleep and help with the back spasms but during the day I no longer take any pain killers. Little by little I will continue to be more independent. Another plus was that my swelling has gone down enought that I can wear my wedding rings. I felt naked without my rings. I am finally seeing the light. I am hoping that after next week my poor mother in law can go home and not have to stay here leaving my father in law alone just to help me with the kids. She's amazing but I don't want to use her more than needed. Hoping soon I can go back to being a mommy as my boys are missing their mommy.
I realized last night...
How much this is affecting my boys and now the guilt is settling in. Especially my 2 year old who is a mamma's boy and all I've been able to do has been caress him while he stands next to the recliner and give him kisses. He was very good about mommy's booboo the first week but now I see sadness in his eyes. He looks at me with sadness and extends his little arms for me to hold him. This is breaking my heart. My 4 year old also now insists in sleeping with mommy. He moved our love seat right next to my recliner so he can put a pillow near my arms and I can rub his hair. Every night he falls asleep there and then my husband takes him to his room.
Last night I just couldn't take it anymore and went to the baby's room and sat on the rocking chair and had my husband put him on my lap. He laid on my chest and was so happy to finally be in my arms. I won't lie that the pressure of a 34 lb toddler was painful but I needed to hold my baby. I count the days till I can go back to being their mom 100%.
Today was a GREAT DAY in so many ways...
I got to sit on my couch for much longer than a few minutes without major discomfort. I also got the call from my VP telling me I got the promotion. I was also so much more mobile today to the point that I cooked my hubby dinner and when I told him he was so happy. You see since he met me he no longer likes his mom's cooking and loves mine so he's been having to depend on take out and actually eating his mom's food. Of course I asked for her help when it came to lifting pots, washing rice and taking condiments from fridge that were in bottom drawers but a least I got to cook for my family today.
Now I am looking forward to tomorrow when my drains come out. I am also attempting to sleep in my bed tonight since last night I ventured to sleep on the couch for half the night. I don't think I can take another night on that recliner. I need my bed and hubby's warmth.
Sleeping in my bed last night was a total success...
Although I couldn't cuddle with hubby as my arms are still very sore I had a full night sleep with minimal discomfort in my bed. Felt sooooo good to be back in my room. This morning I also took my first shower without any help and got dressed on my own. I got my drains removed in today's appointment and I couldn't be happier. Doctor is super happy with results. He did confirm that I have a tiny opening on my butt crack and even smaller on my right armpit but everything looks great. My waist keeps getting smaller and I couldn't be happier. His PA told me he guesstimates I still have 5-6 lbs of swelling. I told him I have already lost 15 including the 9.5 they removed. The only thing that's very annoying is the gas pains. For some reason I am getting a lot of trapped gas. I know I am not eating much and according to my MIL the lack of eating traps gas. I asked the PA about it and he said I needed to eat more and drink a lot of fluids so I don't get so much trapped gas. Aside from that I am feeling better and better each day.
It amazes me that pre-op I was eating 3-4 full meals daily plus snacks and now I barely eat 3 tiny meals. Wonder if this is temporary.
Of course I asked about sex, ha ha ha. He told me with the muscle repair to wait at least 4 weeks so at exactly 4 weeks I will give it a try. Jeez 2 more weeks to go :-(.
Last night I decided to be brave...
And not take anything for pain. Slept in my bed but was super uncomfortable and woke up several times so had an awful night's sleep. Not as bad as my first attempt one week ago but bad nonetheless. Today I woke up with a super flat tummy and I was in love. Here are some photos.
I hate this swelling in the evenings. I feel like I will burst and can't sleep comfortable. I am in love with my new body but can't wait for swell hell to be over. Only a couple more months to go :-(.
Call me crazy...
As I sit here wearing jeans. I decided to try on my size 8 low rise skinny jeans that used to show the crack of my ass and my stomach used to hang from it. I didn't want to try on anything smaller because A. I don't want to be bursting out of them since I am still swollen and B. I measured myself and my hips are the same inches and my waist is only 1 inch smaller. My thighs and arms all went down 2.5 inches. Well the jeans fit great and you know what? they're no longer low rise, LOL. Now they're right bellow my belly button. Guess when I am able to shop I'll need to go for super low rise jeans to get the low rise effect. Well the jeans aren't super tight and in fact are a tiny bit loose and actually fit comfortable. I can't believe I've barely lost inches after 16 lbs less. Guess swell hell is real lol.
I am now walking almost completely straight which I am so happy about. I think what has helped is that I've been lying flat on my couch with only a light pillow to help stretch that tightness from the belly. It now feels more comfortable to stand straighter.
Ok measurements are a total mind fuc...
So I only lost lots of inches from arms and thighs. Ironically 2.5 inches on each. Yet from hips I am the same and only 1 inch lost from waist. I look and feel much thinner and I am already 159 lbs. I decided to try on a pair of size 8 jeans I had that were super low rise and ran small. So small that when I was a true size I they didn't go up past my hips. Well I wore them comfortably yesterday and you know what? They were falling off me so I had to keep pulling them up. I will try size 6 next as clearly I am at least one size smaller despite swelling. So why haven't I lost anymore inches? This is a total mind game.
Now here's an update on how I am doing. I am doing quite well. I am getting my appetite back but can still only eat little amounts of food. I am walking almost erect (when swell hell kicks in at night I only hunch over a tiny bit). I am doing lots of things of my own including cooking for my family. I do have a 1/4 inch opening on each armpit that happened about 6 days ago but it hasn't gotten bigger. It oozes a little and I just keep panty liners on them to knew dry. I also have a same size opening on my butt crack and that one oozes as well. It started with oozing nasty smelling liquid and now what is coming out barely smells so I am hoping it means it'll close up soon. I've been driving for a few days and I am already putting my boys to bed. Of course I don't carry anything heavy. So I think I am turning the corner. Last night I finally figured out how to sleep in my bed comfortably. I took out my big snake pregnancy pillow and created a big donut where my butt would go. And I used 2 regular pillows on my head and of course my travel pillow. I sleep so well and thanks to my pregnancy pillow was even able to turn on my sides. So I will finally sleep in my bed moving forward.
Turns out my butt crack incision opened
Even more. Here's a pic. I want to point out that due to the close up it looks much larger than it is. It's no more than an inch. I hadn't noticed as it was oozing much less last few days and I've been the one bathing myself for days. I hadn't thought to take a look at it.
I called my surgeon and sent him the pic. He said to switch from panty liners to trap the fluid to gauze and keep it dry at all times. He said it looks much worse than it is. I don't have a fever and the fluid coming out of it has a very light odor compared to the rotten odor when it started. He said to change the gauze every 2 hours and it will heal. It may have a wider scar there but that can be revised once healed. He also said not to use any ointment. The black you see is the stitches.
Today I am finally going to get out for a few hours..
I decided to go into the office for a meeting this afternoon for a couple of hours vs. dialing in. I need to get out. So I tried on my size 8 slacks so hubby could iron them for me. Well they were literally falling off me so I went down to my size 6 slacks that didn't go past my hips before surgery. They were actually perfect. They were actually loose on the waist and hip area. Then I went on to try on my long sleeve button down shirts that I couldn't wear before thanks to my huge arms. I almost cried when they fit perfect now. A little loose on the waist area and perfect on the boob area thanks to my DDs :-). I also weighed myself yesterday again and I am now down to 157 lbs. So that's 19 lbs since surgery and still with swelling. Now I am actually worried. I don't want to get too thin. I am 5'7" and when I was a size 0-2 I looked frail and sick. I would actually prefer to stay in a 6 and at the very lowest a 4 but no less than that. Guess I need to force myself to eat more because I am barely eating now due to getting full fast and lack of desire to eat.
My back incision is getting smaller
My hubby inspected it and he said it looks smaller and like its closing so changing gauze pads every 1.5 hours helping. I also noticed that this am the gauze pad I had all night had less oozing so I will take that and positive. Had hubby take a pic so I can send to surgeon. When I saw the pic I freaked out when I saw the black. He said it was thread from stitches but I didn't believe him. So he downloaded a magnifying app on his iPhone and took the second pic to prove to me it was thread.
Updated photos of me.
Yesterday I went to the office for half day and drove an hour each way. I was exhausted by the time I came home. I rested a few hours since my mom graciously took my boys overnight. Then I cooked dinner for hubby and I. By end of night I was so swollen. Even had a big belly so the pressure was killer. After a restful night I woke up relatively flat with only swelling above my butt. Decided to take some pics before I balloon up again.
So much for waiting 4 weeks....
Well after finally being able to cuddle with my hubby lets just say he got too excited and well so did I. I went for it and it didn't hurt, quite the opposite ;-).
Went to the office yesterday all day. I've never received as many compliments. well so much for not telling people I had plastics. My transformation is quite obvious. Everyone couldn't get over how skinny and "great" I looked. Thankfully I work for the most supportive and nicest team I've ever worked with. Size 6 is beginning to fall off me so soon I'll be having to wear size 4. I am back FT as of Monday and can't wait.
Update on my butt incision: it's looking great and healing super fast. I am so glad it wasn't as bad as I thought.
So it's been a month
Haven't updated in a while and certainly haven't taken any recent pictures. I am back in the office full time this week and when I get home I am so exhausted that I fall asleep by 8:30pm. My butt incision hasn't closed yet. It's now raw red but at least it doesn't burn. I know my surgeon told me because of the location it may take up to 2 months to fully heal. I just keep the gauze on it and call it a day. The opening hasn't stopped me from functioning so it hasn't been a big deal.
So I am down 2 full women sizes. From size 8-10 to a size 4. In juniors I was a size 11 and I am now wearing 5 stretch and 7 non stretch. My boobs are extremely soft now and keep changing. I am still very swollen. Heck by 2-3 pm I feel like I will burst of the swelling. I am able to eat a little more but not as much as before. And my appetite is back as well. Perhaps it has something to do with me getting back on birth control (my Implanon was removed during surgery as it was on the arm's excess skin). I am now on the nuvaring.
I will say that now that my thigh swelling has gone down I can now see how flabby my inner thighs are. Some of the cellulite in my inner thighs is back but I knew that would happen as I didn't have a medial thigh lift. My thighs did go down in size but I am so skinny from the hips and top that my thighs are actually thicker than they should be for my body. So next time I see Dr. Capella I will discuss cost for a medial thigh lift and perhaps do it sometime in Feb-March time frame. Despite my flabby thighs I am in love with my results.
Each day it gets better.
Here I am with my XS sweater dress. Loving wearing tight dresses.
Update on me
My left armpit opened after 6 weeks. I think I got over confident thinking the risk was over and did too much. Now I have 2 dime size holes. They don't hurt but are quite annoying. My butt incision is healing but still open. I am keeping it all dry with gauze that I change throughout the day. Overall I am quite pleased with my results. Love my new body and know in a few months all this will be a distant memory.
Ok here's an update on my actual incisions. The ones that have healed beautifully and didn't open. They're mostly flat and the actual line around my LBL is super thin. The ones on my arms (ones that haven't opened) are more raised but starting to flatten. The ones on my areola are almost invisible.
Had a great thanksgiving
A huge group of family and friends got together at my mom's house and we had a great time. Didn't get home till 2:30 am and boy was there lots of food, dancing and booze. Here was my outfit yesterday. I got so many compliments from everyone.
So MyBariatricLife prompted me to measure my bust again. Pre op I never measured my band size, only measured my bust which was 38 (I was a 36B). I did measure a week or so post op and my bust was 40 (again didn't think to measure my band size). Today I measured my band size and I am 32 and bust is 38. I guess with the skin removed and additional weight loss I am the same bust size. I plugged in these measurements into a bra calculator and it says I am a 34DD. I can't imagine being a 34 band size. It just seems so tiny. Guess I need to take a trip to Victorias Secret and try on some bras. I have no clue when I'll be able to wear a regular bra. I will ask Dr. Capella tomorrow. I want to wear a bra so bad as weird as it may sound.
Oh boy finding bras will be tough
So I went to target last night just to try on some bra sizes so I could order some VS bras online. Well come to find out most places don't sell DD bras or even D. What the heck? I guess I am destined to wear super expensive bras :). Not that I am complaining as I love my DDs.
Long overdue update
I guess I should update since I haven't in such a long time. I've been so busy with the holidays, shopping and just living life. Update on my last open arm and butt crack incisions. They're both fully healed. But of course never a dull moment with plastics. About a month ago I pulled what I thought was a piece of dry skin on my right hip. Well turns out it was a stitch and I opened a hole and fluid just gushed out. As days went by the hole got bigger and bigger until it got to 1.5 inches in diameter. My flesh was was separated from my outer skin and I could see down my hip. Yes I know gross but no worries, I couldn't see any organs :-). Of course the hole can't be stitched back and so my super long recovery begun. Thankfully no infection thus far and the flesh has connected and the hole is starting to close THANK THE LORD. The good part is that the hole has never hurt and aside from having to change gauze several times a day it hasn't been a big deal. It's amazing that once you go thru such major surgery these complications seem so minor.
Now onto the positive. I am sooooo happy with my results. I haven't lost any more weight nor have I gained despite my normal appetite being back. However, I keep loosing inches. I am still swelling at night but not as much. My boobs have settled beautifully and I can't get tired of looking at them :-). I've started wearing bras and I am wearing a 34DD. A few weeks ago the 34 band was very snug and I wore the bra at the last hook. Today the middle hook of a brand new bra fits perfect. My waist is now 29 inches. My size 4 pants are now loose on my waist and a little loose on my hips but of course I can't go down in size because my thighs are still thick. So yes I am seriously considering doing a medial thigh lift in the spring. Now that swelling is down my inner thighs do hang and show cellulite. Is it really bad? Not really but since everything else looks so perfect (at least in my eyes) now I want my thighs to be perfect too. I am having my thigh lift consult for my 3 month post op appointment in a few weeks. I can't stress enough how happy I am with my results and of course with my amazing surgeon who has been nothing but amazing with answering my questions and addressing my "complications" which in reality haven't really been complications in my eyes.
One more thing. My husband never had an issue with my skin. After all he met me over weight and was with me throughout my weight loss surgery journey. However now that I have this body the man can't keep his hands off me. I have to keep reminding him he can't smack my butt every time he passes by as it's still sore. He also doesn't stop complimenting me and I've noticed now he want's to accompany me everywhere I ask him to when before most times he would stay home and it was a drag for him when he would go. I am loving his increased interest in me. He was always loving but now he's just more interested than ever. Perhaps is how confident I am now and how I always ensure I am dressed up and look nice. I also don't have any more inhibitions with my body if you know what I mean ;-). I am just glad and feel so blessed to have been able to have plastics. That's all for now. I will try to load pictures in the next few days.
Some quick photos I just took
In these photos I am wearing size 5 junior pants. Pre plastics I wore size 11 in juniors.
Here are a few more recent photos.
18 Jan 2014
3 months post
I am in the process of scheduling my medial thigh lift to complete the package. I am now 156 lbs and size 4s are getting loose on my waist and some jeans even hip. But of course my thighs get in the way. Can't wait to have them done. I also do my makeup with airbrush when I go out and tried on my arm scar and it covered beautifully. So I guess I will wear shorts this dinner.
It's official. I am getting my thigh lift.
I am scheduled for 2/27 to get medial thigh lift done to complete the package. I am beyond excited. Dr. Capella is genius when it comes to thigh lifts and I can't wait to see my results. I am now 154 lbs and feel amazing. My waist is so tiny at 27.5 inches. I still can't believe it's me when I look in the mirror and now with the thigh lift I will be done. My inner thighs are pretty bad. Closer to surgery say I will put on the bikini I used for my pre op photos.
4 days post op medial thigh lift and LBL revision
I went to the amazing Dr. Capella to finalize my PS journey with a medial thigh lift and perhaps at the same time revise the arm scars that opened. When I went for consult 2 weeks pre op he told me that since I lost much more weight aside from what he removed he wanted to reopen my hips and pull my outer thighs more. And he would revise my arm scar.
Fast forward 2 weeks and it's mark up time. He told me he didn't want to be conservative and would rather use time from my arm scar revision and be more aggressive with the LBL. He wouldn't charge me for his time and I would just pay any OR surcharges which I agreed. He told me we would so my arm scars in office where it would cost nothing.
Fast forward a few hours and I woke up in scrutiating pain. I went home same day. The following day I walked around but was too uncomfortable to check myself out. It wasn't till bath time 48 hours later that I took a look. Dr. Capella certainly wasn't conservative. He pretty much redid my LBL and tightened everything up as well as my thigh lift. He was very aggressive with lipo on thighs as well. I couldn't believe my eyes. I can't imagine what I will look like after swelling if I look like this now. Don't know how many more lbs of skin he removed. My butt looks so perky.
Won't lie, this recovery actually hurts. My incisions last time felt numb where this time they hurt. I've been very light headed thanks to my anemia. I pray none of my incisions open as it all looks so good now. It's surreal to start all over again with the recovery but I so happy thus far. Capella is amazing and I feel so blessed I found him.