21, and Filled With Regret - Puyallup, WA

Reading everyone's story has kind of inspired me...

Reading everyone's story has kind of inspired me to tell my story, and get opinions. So for my 21st birthday, I decided to get a tattoo that I had been pretty much dying to have. I showed my artist what I wanted, and he told me to stop looking at tattoos and pretty much let him create something. I didn't get an image until the day of the appointment. When I saw it, I wasn't in love. But I have a history of being a pushover, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, or waste his time and have him charge me more because I was being indecisive. It wasn't until he had already done some of the outlining that I realized I didn't want it. Ever since the. I have had constant panic attacks and depression streaks because I'm so ashamed of myself. (I have a history of that stuff as well, so that doesn't help). I had a consultation, but I have to wait until it heals to even start it. The catch is, I am an African American, and she told me that hypo pigmentation is a possibility because the laser attacks any color at all. There weren't any pictures of before and after, so I'm not too sure about that place. I have a consult in a couple weeks, and the pictures look good. But, if it's that much of a risk for the pigmentation, why not just get it surgically taken off?

If you're still with me at this point, any support would be greatly appreciated. I feel so alone. I will update as I continue this journey.

Picture

Here's a picture of it. Please don't say that it's lovely or it's really cute or whatever because it really doesn't help at all. :(

Healing, Day 4.

Well, I'm 4 days into having this stupid tattoo, and I haven't felt any better about it. I used to be this really happy, bubbly person, and now I can barely stay alone because my thoughts consume me. I feel so ashamed and stupid. Yesterday was the first day of summer (and obviously beautiful), and I was the only one wearing jeans. I don't even want to wear shorts, or capris, because I don't want people asking me about it and being all "but it's so cute! why don't you like it?" It really doesn't help at all.
I went to the doctor the other day, and she gave me some medicine that would help with the insomnia and anxiety, because I haven't been eating or sleeping for the past few days. It just sucks.
Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is because I found something. There's something called "Tattoo Vanish" located in my city, about 20 or so minutes from where I live. I'll leave the name so you guys can check it out and see what's up, but I figure if this works, it's a much more safer way to remove this tattoo. It's not even really big or really dark, so I don't think removal in general would be a problem. It's called the Tattoo Vanish method. I believe when you google it, it's the first like that pops up.
Getting it surgically removed is becoming more and more of an option. I would rather have a scar and a story, than a tattoo that I don't want.
I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks for the support.

A much more positive update.

Well, I'm almost 2 weeks into this tattoo. Some days are much, much better than others.

As healing tattoos do, it itches. Not frequently, but when it does, it really itches. One day in particular, was horrible. That makes it much harder to forget about it. But, lotion helps.
It's getting easier.

I'm still thinking about different ways to get this removed. Cover ups are a maybe, but definitely not a choice that I have in my mind at this moment. Tattoo Vanish is becoming more and more of an option. Has anyone looked into it? I think it's almost the same as the method called rejuvi. What are your thoughts on rejuvi?
I have a consultation at Blink Tattoo Removal this Thursday. I've seen great reviews and before/after pictures, so I'm feeling kinda hopeful. We'll see what they say/recommend in terms of hypo pigmentation and what not. I'll update once I know. :)

The biggest question I have right now is, when is it safe to put cover up on my tattoo? I'm investing in Kat Von D's Lock It Foundation very soon. I know it's great for covering up tattoos, (I think that's what she made it for, actually) and it's starting to creep up into the 90's in terms of temperature here. I definitely don't want to have to wear jeans and leggings in this heat. Any input would be fantastic.

Thank you guys for the continued support. It makes it so much easier.
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