LOVE the new look!

I am totally over all of the hesitation and anxiety, my date for surgery can't come soon enough. I just want to make sure I look like a full D. I have a boxy shape and long waist, so I want to make sure everything is proportionate.

Also doing side lipo. Who else got this? But I will pay out of pocket for that. I'm waiting for them to get back to me on the out of pocket cost.

I can't even imagine how this is going to feel in two months. I haven't been able to wear normal clothes since I was 16, and my back was awful at 22.

One thing I wonder: once the surgery is over, will I feel better and more motivated to work out? I've had a really hard time with it lately, and I'm wondering if it's because of the pain, or if I need to work harder to get through the workout. How did you girls feel about working out after surgery? Was it easier?

Hi everyone!

So guess what? My doctor left kaiser and so everything has been rescheduled. They have a new doctor coming in and I can't have surgery until April or later. I'm just frustrated at this point. I have almost given up because the wait will be months and months. :(

Okay, hi everyone!

I just got another date today -- It is April 17th.

My new doctor is Dr. Stiles Jewett Jr MD.

Very, very excited!

I'm also getting side lipo on the bra roll, which is an extra $1200. It's supposed to be good for shaping.

So I have a couple things that I'm worried about, I'll go into detail tonight. Would love some feedback! Especially from the ladies who have been through the process....

Well I am about a month away and I'm starting to have nightmares. I know they are just anxiety but the fear is starting to come in a little more.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be doing this, and if I just need to accept my body as-is. Everyone I've told has said they don;t even know why I am doing this and I'm great as it is. Which makes it difficult for me to find a reason to push myself into the surgery date! I minimize everything, so you can't really tell how big and uneven my breasts are (and heavy!) unless you see me in a bikini, which I haven't worn in years for this very reason. I'm afraid I will end up like a giant box with no boobs after and scars everywhere. I'm afraid I will have no cleavage and be as flat as a man.

I'm also afraid of the pain and recovery. I have only taken a week and a half off of work and haven't told anyone -- including my family. I just want to be able to heal and get back into my beautiful life.

I do trust doctors and I know that they always have the best intentions, but I am starting to get more fearful because I cannot control the outcome.

Plus after it I will have to really shape up because my stomach is a little out of shape.

At this point, I am seriously 50/50 about having this. If they had to cancel everything I would probably think it was destiny. But i also have been living this way so long that I don;t know what a great change it will be, which is why I am moving forward.

Just had to get some of these feelings out. :) Thanks for all of your support and stories.

So I just got back from the Pre-Op with a different doctor. I really don't know what to think at this point. The doctor went through all of the risks with me and I signed off on them, but I don't feel very comforted by any of them at all. He said he can't tell me what size I'll end up as and said 'just tell me if you want me to veer on the small size or the large size." So I said Large. I mean I'm not telling anyone how to do their job but a little more information would have been reassuring that I am comfortable with my decision. I don't just blindly trust people. I guess I needed a little more comforting instead of just 'get 'er done' which is what I felt like. I'm venting and will write more tonight after I've had time to settle my thoughts. I just don;t know if they are considering that they are cutting into and leaving permanent scars in breasts -- which for women are very sexually and psychologically impactful and so I am making sure I do due diligence. I wish I could have been given more pictures, details and shown more imagery. At this point I feel like a number and one of many surgeries. :(

I am so excited and set to go. I am literally being chocked and smothered to death by my boobs. I'm doing this for me and no one else. I added a pic of my shoulders. Ouch! I need to start acknowledging the pain that I've been in. I seriously think its hitting nerves and numbing parts of my back and shoulders. Godspeed. :)

Just ordered these -- ICE packs! http://www.wearmamadoc.com/shop/ice-heat-packs/

And ordering this:

http://marenagroup.com/garmentstore/product/tabid/199/p-16-surgical-bra-2-elastic-band.aspx

HI everyone!

I am getting ready to go, I was hoping some of you could advise. Does it hurt to have the drains removed? My doctor told me it would not be painful at all.

Question 2: How much pain should I prepare myself for? I have never had surgery so I really don't have any idea what to expect!

I'm going in next Wednesday! :)

I'm out! I will write more when I'm not so groggy. I slept all day and the day after. I was supposed to have the drains roved today but they decided to wait until Monday.

When I got out I was a 6. But I just took pain mess and went to sleep. The next day the dr. asked if I was a smoker or had been exposed to second hand smoke. And I said yes, I was exposed to it twice in the past month but not a smoker. Now I'm a bit worried about healing properly.

Also I have just been laying on bed, it's better to stay still. Should I try to be elevated!

All I want to do us heal quickly and not have anything bad happen. Still pretty woozy so please just let me know if I need to so anything else. I'm worried about being exposed to smoke when I was out a week ago.

Thanks for all your support.

Okay I'm out and 3 days post op. I had my surgery on last Wednesday. I was really nauseous and out of it after the operating room. I just slept. The doctor ended up making me really tight because of the size I asked for. So no moving arms! I've been laying in a recliner ever since and not doing anything strenuous. I have another two days until I go back, just been icing and laying down. Pain pills about every 6 hours.

New pics. Not looking too good today :(

I'm having a great day today! I went in yesterday and had another post-op. It was great they said I was doing everything right and healing. I was super scared about the drains and I told them and it was no big deal.Just a weird/creepy feeling. It was such a relief to have them out. I'm going to write a lot more later.

:) :)

One week ago I was in surgery. Added a pic I took last night. I only take 1 oxycodone a day, I'm basically on Tylenol now. Still resting though! The PS took 690g from the left and 980g on the right.

I'm going into a lot of detail later because I'm doing an update on my cell phone. ;)

Today I'm feeling a bit weird. I feel like the Dr. Made me too small. I asked to be a d or dd and I don't think I'm near there. :(

So here is a little more about my experience:

I was a nice size until I was about 17. Probably a b or C and then all of a sudden a DD! I was a college cheerleader and I was huge! I had to actually make bras for myself with one strap to go with the one-strap college uniform because there was NO way I could jump around and tumble with that size on top. One time my friend in college was super surprised when she saw how big I was -- she was like, "Is that actually your boob all the way down there?" I did a good job of hiding it and wearing tighter flattening bras but it was hard. It was also annoying to have the stares and looks. Sometimes people would even say I had a 'porn star' look because I was skinny with oversized boobs. I didn't really like that. One of my mom's friend told me that I would be absolutely gorgeous if I had a breast reduction. I couldn't wear anything comfortable when it was hot because my boobs would spill out and it would look inappropriate. When I was 24 I went to a PS and he filled out everything for my insurance and said I was a candidate. I was probably a DDD at the time. And still skinny. The insurance company denied me.

Years went by and I still has major discomfort. I also suffered from self-esteem issues and was basically harassed from very rude people from time to time about their size. People I didn't even know would comment about it to me, I would be teased and have to hear really unkind things. Of course this didn't happen all of the time but when it did it was hard to deal with. No one should have to deal with that.

After I started working a lot, I gained weight from the stress of the job, and my boobs continued growing - in my late 20's and 30's. It didn't stop. I finally went to a high-end bra specialist to be fitted and I was a 36G. I bought different bras, but no matter what I wore it was hard. I would have sweat and rashes all over the minute I put on the bra (after taking a lovely shower) and everything would pull down my neck. My back had problems since I was 22.

I decided years ago to try again, but I had to go through years of different jobs, switching insurance and getting settled before I could try again. When I asked it was simple -- they said yes and I went straight to a pre-op appointment. I would say if you are approved, RUN into the next appointment and get it started. Someone else on this site said also to "Run into the Surgery and say Yes! Yes! It's my turn now!" and I think that helped me to push forward.

So I basically went into the surgery almost 2 weeks ago. I did outpatient. I had a choice and if I was totally alone I would have stated overnight. The option was available for $300/night. If I didn't have someone to take care of me for the next 3 days after and if I could pay for it, this is the best option if it's provided. Unless you have surgery and know what to expect, This was ny first surgery. I went out-patient. I went in and checked in. I changed clothes and then the nurse started the IV. I was sure to tell them that I got car sick and seasick. This is very important! If I hadn't of said that my recovery would have been awful. They gave me anti-nausea meds and a patch behind my ear. Then the PS came in and drew. Then they rolled me into the operating room. I was talking to everyone and then all of a sudden I was being woken up in the recovery room. They asked me about my pain level and I said a 6. Basically felt like rows and rows of cutting and stitches on my chest. I was clenching my fist and my feet were clenched together. They gave me a pain pill and it went away. I was really woozy and I tried to go back to sleep but the nurse gave my some oxygen which was really nice. I wanted to lay back down but they had me get up and into a wheelchair and then back into the car which was waiting for me.

I went home and immediately back to sleep. I will say now that you will definitely need someone to take care of you and buy a recliner off of craigslist for the recovery! I tried to get up out of bed (I was propped up on pillows) and everytime I had to have my bf help me. I just slept the first day. Next day, almost the same thing -- pain pills, water, sleeping. My mouth was super dry from the anasthesia but I had to eat. I couldn't raise my arms and I had to be fed. I had pineapple chunks (thanks Chibbey!) and they were delicious! Best thing ever to eat. I also ate Haggen Daas ice cream. They sent me home with Ice packs so I would put ice on my chest, sleep and take pain pills. I'd watch tv and float in and out of sleep. I needed help eating and getting up. I also needed help going to the bathroom -- I couldn't pull down my pajama pants and I couldn't reach to wipe! (#1 only though) So I will definitely say that help is needed. Also -- I'd recommend scheduling a surgery NOT when you have your period. I thought that would be such a nightmare, so I'm definitely advising against doing it. I didn't but it would be really hard.

I had to go back to the doctor the day after, they stitched me up really tight and wanted to make sure I was okay. They just checked everything. They said I was really pale, decided not to pull the drains, and sent me home. I went back to my regime. My bf found a recliner on craigslist and had it delivered for $80 so I went over to that. It was a must-have! Then I went back to icing, pain pills, and tv. Pineapple chunks are delicious to eat after the surgery. I tried some chicken soup from my favorite deli. And I drank honey-lemon tea.

I unwrapped everything a few days after and there was serious bruising. The drains are really irritating. They kept them in with a stitch and it was the most annoying thing I had to deal with. I had to empty the drains and then put more bacterian with new surgical pads and then another ace bandage. The bruising was a lot but I expected that so I really didn't care what they looked like at that point. I didn't care at all and I still don't because I know it takes a lot of time for the "Drop & Fluff".

I went back in 5 days to have the drains taken out and I was scared shitless but I didn't let my anxiety get the better of me. The nurse in recovery told me to take a pain pill an hour before I went in, so that is exactly what I did. She also told me that she had a BR and she ended breast feeding! Who knew. So I went in and they were happy that I was alive an animated bc before I was pale and lifeless. I told them I was freaked about the drains and they said it's no big deal. She said I'll do it now and she snipped the stitch and it felt amazing -- such relief. Then she said take a deep breath and breathe out and I did and she pulled them and it was the weirdest creepiest feeling ever. Didn't hurt at all! Just a strange feeling to have a foriegn object in your body. She did the other one and it was great. I felt marvelous after that. The real irritation I was having was the drain stitch and it was over! So that was a great day for me, I had a lot of happy adrenaline.

Recovery is paced. That;s the best word. I can't run around like I am used too, I get winded. All of my energy is going to my healing so I'm a little restless but letting the process happen. The doctor told me to "T-Rex" my arms for 4-5 weeks to prevent any pulling of stitches and to make sure I heal well. So I haven't washed hair -- I went to the salon and had hair washed & blown out and a mani-pedi done. It was great.

A few days ago I felt bad about my size -- I thought it was too small and I'm jealous of big boobs. But it hurts so much! I just have to wait and see how I end up.

Here is a list of what I recommend to have before your big day, basically things I could not live without:

*A helper who is kind and can be patient
*Recliner
*Backscratcher
*Benadryl
*Extra-Strength Tylenol
*Dr. Ray's Sleep Bra (sold at Sears, on sale for $17.50) http://www.sears.com/dr-rey-shapewear-sleep-bra-shape38-black-m/p-SP101A12216S7510522113?prdNo=14&blockNo=14&blockType=G14&PDP_REDIRECT=false&s_tnt=39869:4:0 PERFECT if you have side lipo
*Pain Pills
*Front-Button Pajamas
*Pineapple, cut into small squares
*Your favorite Ice Cream
*Your favorite Soup
*Movies and DVDs, iPad or Laptop
*Straws for your drink
*Surgical Pads
*Smooth-Move Tea

Here are more pics

Hi ladies!

I went back to work this week. It was a long week, I just get more exhausted more easily. But I made it through. I left early today and took a pain pill and layed down.

I am almost off the pain pills, for the past two days I've taken Tylenol. I feel a little more sore after I take showers. If I work too hard I can feel it. my boobs just feel hard sometimes and kind of stitchy. Haha! Everyone is inviting me out to celebrate - but I'd rather celebrate with a nap. :)

Well here I am today, a little more than two weeks post op.

I went back to work this past week and it was okay. Most of the days I took one pain pill during the day. My ps advised that I should take four weeks off buy I really could not do that! Luckily I have an office job so I was sitting all day typing emails and talking on the phone. Drinking lemon tea and water!

I've been sore too. My boobs feel really hard and they do feel hurt where an underwire would be. I had side lipo and that just continues to hurt. I ice the sides every night. It helps a little. The bruising has changed colors now and spreading to different places. I'm just shocked by everyone who heals and looks pink after four days! Gosh, not me. I am a black and blue girl and every other color of the rainbow. I feel like the slowest one ever! Not that I need to rush anything, I'm just being observant.

Also I feel a bit sad from time to time that my boobs aren't big anymore. They were WAY too big before and unmanageable, but sometimes I feel like I am so little. I guess my shape will look different after I buy new bras that are push up. I also have stopped working out a lot so I need to get back to that (obviously not now.)

My nipples and other lines have started to get scans and they seem really dry. My doctor said that I can put bacterin ointment in them but I feel like I just want to keep things off them, and feel them dry.

Oh and I ordered another bra from marena! It had amazing reviews in amazon and I can't wait to try it. The bra I have now is comfortable but I'm kinda sick of it. It's also somewhat loose.

Hmmmm not much else to say. I am sleeping in my bed and sometime I wake up with my arms above my head! Which I switch right away. I don't have any problem staying on my back. I LOVE sleeping on my side but I can manage for another month or so.

Staying the course!

Oh I thought I'd add a little more! I really am grateful that my insurance paid for this. There is no way I could have paid for this out of pocket. And I'd also like to apologize for any spelling errors throughout this review: I did it all on my iPhone. :)

3 weeks!

Love the look - I got my marena bra and I LOVE it. I hope it will help with shaping because I'm realizing that my previous bra was too big and all loosey goosey! And I need a good shape.

I called in to the PS today because there was a split in the incision and I'm worried. Look at the pic! Freaking out!

I think I'm headed over to the hospital to have them check it out. Will it be okay? I put a bandaid over it so I wouldn't worry more. Haha!

I have a little splitting that's happening. I'm sad because I worked so hard to heal well and there is nothing I can do about this. Going in to see doctor tomorrow. I'm just using Bacitracin ointment and non-stick gauze at this point.

Another pic

I went on to the doctor today and they gave me silver pads for healing the open wound. I'll keep updating and showing the healing. She said I could start massaging the right breast to get it used to the new shape.

I know you're supposed to ask the Dr., but how long until....

*I can workout? Like really working out with no restrictions?
*I can wear an underwire? I do not want to, but I am wondering the timeframe...
*I can sleep on my side?
*I can raise my arms above my head and circle them around? Do jumping jacks?

I am beyond happy I did this, I can't believe I was so indecisive before.

Oh wow! I just realized it's been a whole month. Yay me!

Still healing. I am a slow healer, apparently! There is splitting and Mepilex pads and I'm not out of the woods yet. But I have no reason to rush....I'm just letting it take it's sweet time.

new pic - rocking the silver pads!

before/after. not the best but i'll post more

Just posting more pics, I'm still babying the left side still. Silver pads and slooooow healing.

Apologizing again for the atrocious spelling ! iPhone typing!

So I went to get measures the other day and the lady at Macy's says I'm a 42C/D. I'm so confused! Before I was wearing a 36G?

I really want to get a nice demi push up bra but I am STILL having trouble finding a size over 38. Any ideas?

Also here is the pic of my new boobs. Still healing. I'll take a picture with it off so you can see the true healing and where it is at 3 months. I had a split late in the process so I am still being more careful. Personally I think it's because I used palmer oil too soon and it made my skin too soft and things split. I won't use it again until all of the seams are completely together. :)