I Had to Reconstruct the Reconstruction - Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

I was diagnosed with LCIS in my right breast in 2006. I was also told that within 10 years, I would have it on the left side as well. Bilateral mastectomies were a no brainer for me. I was 44 years old. I had bilateral mastectomies with immediate placement of tissue expanders. I considered foregoing reconstruction but the first time I put real clothes on, I missed my breasts. I want to say that I had a terrible experience with my first reconstruction which is a story in and of itself. The surgeon was less than qualified but was recommended by my oncologist. In short, I lived with hard, painful, deformed breasts for six years, not being able to look at myself in the mirror.

In Feb. of 2012, I sought out another surgeon's opinion, not really believing there was any help for me. I can only imagine what went through the doctors mind when he saw me. He told me we could definitely improve things but was careful not to over promise. I am now 8 days post op of my second reconstruction for breast cancer and I am astounded at the immediate difference! I have soft, full, round breasts that fit my body instead of hard mounds of flesh sitting on my chest. I feel whole again. I want to clarify that my self esteem is not completely wrapped up in my outward appearance but it is much deeper than that. The message I want to convey is that I know how difficult not only a cancer diaganosis is for you and your family, but the daunting idea of reconstruction can be overwhelming. Even having had to go through it twice, I can now say it was worth it. Do not give up! If you are not happy with your result, do not simply decide there is nothing you can do. It took me six years to feel up to going through it again, but I am so glad I did!

I am now 10 days post op for breast reconstruction. The pain is minimal and I only take Advil for any discomfort. I wish I had a before picture of my first reconstruction. If I had found this site prior to surgery, I would have taken one. It never occurred to me to even want pictures of what I had. The difference is unbelievable! Try to imagine you have no breasts, just large, hard as rocks, pectoral muscles that sit way up high on your chest that are flat on the bottom side. Horrible. And to be told it was the best it would ever be? Now I look like a regular woman (lol) with beautiful full, round breasts that actually move! Yes, I am still swollen but the sutures were removed yesterday. I have steri strips over the suture line. Occasionally I feel a twinge of pain there but most of my nervers have been severed. I have been told to wear a bra that is tight around the bottom band in order to form a defined bottom to the breast. After six years, I can look at my body again. I had cut my mind off completely from even considering my breasts anymore. It sounds ridiculous, but to me, they did not even exist. When I saw my new reconstruction, I realised how sad I had been all those years. God bless any of you who battle breast cancer! Do anything you need to do to feel restored mentally, spiritually, and yes, physically! Like me, you may not even be consciously aware of how sad you are about the loss of your breasts.

Today I am two weeks post op for breast reconstruction. My breast reconstruction does not bother me at all. I am actually shocked by this. I seem to have free range of motion with my arms. I am still bruised underneath both breasts but it does not hurt at all. I am waiting for the stitches to disolve. I have no problem raising my arms. I have managed to maintain some feeling in my nipple and breast area which is amazing to me if you consider the mastectomies and two reconstructions. I was told by my PS to lift each breast throughout the day because the pectoral muscle wants to lay down flat and that is not what I need it to do. If you have any hesitation about the pain of mastectomies and reconstruction, let me assure you it is much less than I thought it would be. I am still in a tight bra for the next six weeks to define the lline under my breasts. As soon as I can, I will post some pictures for you.