41,3kids, and in Desperate Need to Get my Butt Back

I'm sitting here ready to burst out in tears literally like a big ass kid. I don't knw if its the fact that I'm pms'n or the side affects of this damn ambien this doctor done prescribed me but my emotions are all over the place. First a few of you knw that my blood platelets countil is too high and I'm at a risk for bleeding too much if I don't get the number down. My PCP don't want me to take another test until I am a whole week off my cycle so that's gone put me at next wed. It takes two days to get the results and I'm booked to leave on the third day..... She even emailed me today and said maybe I should just reschedule another time and not even risk trying to get the surgery. I knw for a fact that hasan will take me with this number but is it worth risking me bleeding to death... Lord the tears........ I knw you women have got to a point that you was so close and then [RS bleep] starts [RS bleep] up at the last minute.. My health is more important.... I think it just bothers me so much that I made sure everything and everybody else was straight before my time of departure and now my plan that I have carefully planned for can't be.... Man favor ain't fair... And I wish I could be the type to just say [RS bleep] every thing I'm bout to do me for once.....but I'm not...... :'(
I will update later when this dope wears off and see if I still feel the same lol. I'm sad tho friends..... Let me go put my big girl panties on tho... Literally.

Later

Ok guys just left my doctors office and I can exhale for now. Most of all my tests were great. Nothing for me to pass out about BUT my blood platelets is kinda high. They thinking its because I have been taking Tylenol pms to fall asleep for as long as I can remember or because it was around my cycle time. Smh. So now I have to stop taking them, go back next week to redo the test, and pray the numbers go down. My surgery is exactly two weeks away hell I have no room for error. So I will be back there next wed To get this test redone and pray they can have these results in before my already paid for flight on sat... Irritating I tell u... I forward my papers over to ana and she is giving them to the doctor to look at. Hopefully its minor and I can still have this surgery otherwise I will have to wait til summer to do it and I want my ass before my birthday party in may..... :(

So my doctors office calls me today and tells me she needs to talk to me about some of the numbers I got on my blood work. I almost started crying. Idk what's wrong but she wouldn't tell me over the phone. Y'all please pray with me that its nothing bad.

Thanks