40, 4 Kids, Breast Reduction 3/10/16 ~ Adios B(r)EASTS of Burden!

Breasts have been an issue for me pretty much my entire life. At the age of 8, my breasts began to form and I became very self conscience about it because it wasn't happening to any of my other friends. I remember asking my mom to buy me a bra, and she ignored me and refused to. I became really ashamed as I could not hide my growing breasts. Fast forward to Jr. High school and the dreaded locker room. I was 11 years old and I STILL did NOT have a bra. I was so embarrassed. When I was 12, my mother finally took me bra shopping. This same year, my mother who was very small chested (and small framed) decided to get breast implants. I'll never forget her talking with our neighbors about getting it done and the husband said "Why, because your daughter is bigger chested than you are?" And she told me THAT comment was what sealed the deal for her to get one.

By 13 I was wearing a 34C and getting a TON of negative attention from boys. I hated it. I wore clothes that would purposely hide by breasts. The next year when I was in high school, I remember being a friend's house in the pool and I was wearing a bikini. The guys were calling me "Droopy", because by comparison to my friend's who were smaller and perkier, I was droopy. THAT made me even MORE self conscious. By the age of 18/19 I was wearing a D cup. I never exposed my breasts and always tried to hide them, even in intimate situations - and even now at age 40 - I do the same to this day!

Over the years, my weight has fluctuated - between having an underactive thyroid & Hashimotos, to 4 children, they look beat down and have literally had the life sucked out of them. But aside from the emotional issues I have had in regards to my breasts throughout the course of my life, and aside from the cosmetic aspect of their appearance, never finding bras that fit quite right and support them - they have been causing a lot of physical issues for me. I have to wear 2 bras at a time - an underwire one, then a sports bra over the top, so that I can have some lift and support. Clothes NEVER fit right - I have to get larger sizes to accommodate my breasts, and I am limited to what types of clothing I can wear. No cute off the shoulder, strapless, back cut outs, etc. The under boob sweat is ridiculous, and I have dermatological issues now - fungal growth that smells (totally disgusting & foul) and irritation, chafing and painful skin erosion. I have been to a neurologist because I was getting headaches with a vengeance again and I was having issues with my left arm going numb and tingling. Turns out, I have a pinched nerve, likely from the bras I wear to support the weight of these beasts. Creating tension in my neck/shoulder & upper back. I also have very dense, fibrocystic breasts. I often have breast pain. For my yearly mammo, I am then always referred out to get an ultrasound. This past year, my right breast (which has been getting smaller, actually) found 2 cysts in it. Both my mother & her mother have had breast cancer, so also by getting a reduction, it will help to reduce the risk.

I'll never forget breast feeding my children I was so embarrassed because my boobs hung so low, I had to support my boob to hold it up AND the baby. Needless to say, I am at a point in my life that they are wreaking so much havoc on me in every way, I need to be free of them! I want to become more active and just be FREE of these damn things!

Despite having letters from physicians, and test results, BCBS denied coverage for this procedure stating they felt it was only cosmetic. I appealed, and then requested an IRO which I have not heard back on yet, but even if I go broke getting this done, it will be worth it to me. Of all the stories I've read and others I've spoken with, I've yet to have someone say they regretted getting this done. It still hasn't really sunk in for me yet that this is happening, because I can't imagine having the freedom this will bring me. Just in looking at clothes on-line I realized my perspective in how I look for clothes is changing. I've always been so limited and would skip past stuff because I knew I wouldn't be able to wear it.

I have read so many amazing testimonies on this site, and I can't wait to share the rest of my journey with you!

Steph

I just realized last night that I made a BIG mistake in scheduling my surgery!! It is set for next Thursday, March 9th - which I THOUGHT was just BEFORE Spring Break for my kids. I planned it this way so that they hardest week (week 1 post op) we wouldn't have to worry about schedules, the older kids would be here to help lend an extra hand & not worry about having to deal with school schedules with my follow up appointments that week.

Welllll....this one goes in the books of "dumbest things ever" for me, and noticed last night that Spring Break is this NEXT week!!! My husband is freaking out & not sure how he can handle & deal with all the responsibilities of helping me & all 4 of our kids & his crazy work schedule.

It's too late to change the date now - my pre-op appt is today ~ somebody who has been through this, please reassure me that all will be well this particular week. My surgery is on Thursday, so that gives me a few days before the madness of school starts again.

I think I've left a hand print on my forehead now from smacking myself. I would have never scheduled surgery this way & I know I consulted the school calendar first. And no, we have NO other sources of help or anyone to come over, help around the house, kids, etc.

We'll all laugh about this one day....right??? :D

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday, and it still seems surreal that this is really about to happen!!! My biggest concern & what is causing me anxiety is my worry about how my family will manage without me doing all that I do - especially my husband since he will have to take over. Sadly, I'm not very confident about it. I so wish he could tell me "I got this - don't you worry about a thing!", but he's already complaining. Add to it I scheduled my surgery at the wrong time (see my previous post), and that has now compounded. Him telling me that I better not get upset with him if HE'S tired from having to manage everything & help take care of me. Thank goodness they gave me a script for Valium. I may need to start taking it NOW....lol All these times and the headaches (literally) and other pains these damn breasts have caused me, and I did things for him & the family without complaining ~ because that's just what I was suppose to do. I guess that's the SUPER MOM in me, and in most of us. Despite when things get rough or challenging - we just take care of business!! It really is causing me great anxiety.

So, after reading posts here, doing my own research, and from what the nurse instructed me, I have to stop taking my daily nutritional supplements. I've been advised to avoid Vitamin E, Vitamin C, green tea, limit caffeine & anti-inflammatories. I didn't take my Thrive this morning, and I'm already not quite my ususal alert, happy self. They said to stop taking now and wait until a week AFTER surgery to start again.

I anyone has any tips on how to survive this & get over this hump (slump), please fill me in! I know in the end, it will all be worth it. I just might be in a haze until it's over. :)