I have always been flat-chested, always wished for...
I have always been flat-chested, always wished for BA, but husband is completely against it, although he says I can do whatever I want. Finally got the courage to do something for myself. I blame it on midlife crisis! Haha!
I am 40 yrs old, 5'2", 105 lbs. Pre-BA bra size 32AA, flat as a board.
I wanted to be conservative and didn't want people to notice. My doctor is also conservative, I think. We decided on 255cc anatomical, textured, silicone implants by Allergan Natrelle 410 style.
My surgery went very well, the first two days were the hardest, but never really had pain, just discomfort. I took 1 Percocet every 5 hrs as a precaution, for the first two days. Did not have nausea or constipation.
At four days post op, we spent the weekend with my in-laws. I had full range of motion by then. They did not suspect a thing!
First bikini at 40!
My kids always wondered why I never joined them in the pool. I just say I hate the water. In reality, I hate putting on a swimsuit because I am so flat, nothing looks good. It was so depressing. Even if I put pads on them. But today, I played with them in the pool! Had a blast! I was able to swim without any discomfort. I did feel a sharp tug near the armpit area when I tried to reach up to catch a ball while playing monkey in the middle.
I hope you do not think I'm too old to put on a swimsuit!
Size blues. Six weeks post-op
I admit it: I am not happy with the size I am now. The 255cc did not take me far. I did not do my research and did not have wish boobs in mind. All I thought I wanted was not to wear padding under my bra. But the cute bras I found at VS make me look so flat under all the clothes. Sad face. At two weeks post op, I measured 32D at VS, at four weeks, only 32C. We all know VS does vanity sizing, so in reality, I am only a 34B. My post op pics look like other people's pre op pics. Haha!
Another thing I'm down about, are the incisions. They are very visible still. I'm really hoping my boobs will drop more to cover them up some. *sigh
"Hedonic Treadmill" - We Get Used to What We Have
Read this from a "Real Simple" post: We, as humans, "are subject to a pesky psychological phenomenon called 'adaptation': essentially, we get used to what we have. This is commonly referred to as the 'hedonic treadmill': the concept that even if we acquire better circumstances - more money, a bigger house - we will quickly return to the level of happiness we had prior to these acquisitions, and will require more to get that same surge of satisfaction again. This explains why study after study shows that more money does not equate with more happiness."
I read this, and realized, that maybe, after a while, we get adjusted to our new and improved body image, and we get used to it, and then we are back to the same level of satisfaction we were previously. I think this explains "boob greed".
Going back to my previous entry, where I admitted to wishing I have bigger boobs, I have to clarify, that indeed, I felt that way from the first moment when I woke up in the recovery room, and I looked down, and was so disappointed that was still so flat. Really, my first thought was, all this for nothing?! So disappointed.
The thing is, I don't think even my brilliant PS can override what God had given me. He has certainly improved on it, but I am thankful that he did not go over my anatomical limits. He was really looking after my best interest, explaining that my breast width is too narrow, that I probably do not want boobs up to my armpits, or that complications would be more if I go any bigger.
Of course I now regret not asking him how big I could have gone. So, I did a lot of research in these last few days, and indeed, my PS did the right thing, and put in the most appropriate implant size and dimensions, dictated by my anatomical limits.
I do vaguely remember he said that a few years down the road, if I want to go bigger, it will be easier for my body to take, and that is certainly an option.
So for now, I am keeping my options open, still entertaining the possibility of getting bigger implants in a few years. I do miss the feeling of excitement when I was first having the BA, and finding this wonderful community of like-minded individuals. Thank you for taking the time in sharing this journey with me. I appreciate you all!
Almost 8 weeks post-op
My new best friend will be a VS push up bra. I can't wait until I'm cleared to do so. Everything in these photos are shown with the VS push up bra size 32D. probably too big for me now, but oh well. I got it at two weeks post op when i was so excited to be a D!
So far I have not been able to show any cleavage in public. I feel so self conscious. Does any body else feel this way? All my life I have been choosing clothes that show zero cleavage because I had none, and heaven forbid if I bend over and my bra padding might show! Hahaha!
8 weeks post-op. Cleared to play tennis!
Eight weeks post op today! I am back to 100% (I will not attempt push ups- never did that anyway!)
I confided with my nurse that I wish I was bigger. She in turn told my PS. When my PS came in, he looked so sad and disappointed, and I feel so bad. He explained how if I went bigger I would have had implants extending to the sides, higher risk of complications, etc. He said it is pretty normal for past BA patients to feel this way, but to see if few years down the road, I can certainly go bigger because by then my skin would have stretched to accommodate bigger implants.
He said everything looks good, still have some dropping and some softening to do, although they are already pretty squishy. I don't think they will ever be as soft as natural ones. I doubt it. Anyway, I'm aiming for "good fake" look. Haha! I asked him if the regular round silicones are softer than this textured anatomicals. He said "yes". That would have been good to know, although I still would have chosen these anatomicals.
He said I still have some dropping to do, so it should hopefully hide my scar. He said it should lighten up over time, and to continue to use Biocorneum.
I see him again in three months. Meanwhile, I have no activity restrictions now! I can play tennis!
Played hard game of tennis, and nothing hurts. So happy!
I am so happy with how everything turns out. Will do it all over again in a heartbeat. So worth it! When I was wearing heavily padded bras, I felt much more "fake" then. Now, I have so much more freedom to wear whatever I want. Why did I not do this in my 20s?!
Three months post op.
Just a quick update: everything is still going well. I go back and forth between being content with the size, vs wishing they are bigger. I do realize I would much rather be seen as the lady with the nice figure, than the lady with the big boobs.
I play tennis four times a week, with no discomfort.
Since I went unders, I still find it weird seeing my pecs move when I flex. Only a problem when I'm wearing low-cut tops. Just thought I'd mention that, since I rarely read about this particular issue.
Thank you for reading my update!