Doing suprisingly well Ontario, ON

Hello Ladies, I am so grateful to have found this...

Hello Ladies,
I am so grateful to have found this site! I shouldn't have waited to post 'my story' 10 hours PRIOR to my tt that's for sure! I suppose I was too busy reading everyone else's journey and trying to educate myself and gear up as best as possible.
I am (37) a sahm to 3 kids (15, 5, 4) and have an amazing and wonderful supportive husband. He doesn't think I need the tt and says he's happy with me the way I am but *I'm* not. I cringe looking in the mirror at my pouch and dressing around my belly. I have never really had a weight problem (although with pregnancy I took "eating for two" to heart and would gain quite a bit but would lose it with breastfeeding and exercise) and was run of the mill so to speak until my last baby and had to have a surgical reconstruction (vaginally...a long story! will explain later).
So it's 4 years later and I have had nothing but serious complications from that awful surgery and it has left me unable to properly work out, among other things. Prior to the surgery I was doing P90x and I lost 70 pounds (I gained it during last pregnancy) and I had never felt better or stronger but I am now left with debilitating back pain and I need a revision ( vaginally,to be done in a few months).
I am confident in my surgeon but I am so afraid of the pain. What have I paid to do to myself? What if my tummy still has this awful pooch and I am still hiding under my clothes? I also feel SO guilty spending this money (which we SO didn't have) on myself to "feel better" and to feel more feminine again.
I have turned our bedroom into a hospital room lol. My husband brought in the recliner and I have all my supplies stacked up and tables close by, I rented a walker, shower seat and I bought a toilet raiser. I sure hope I'm ready for this, I suppose there's no turning back.
I pray that I can remain positive and keep the end result in mind when I am experiencing pain post op. With my back issues I don't tolerate pain easily so this is why I am so fearful.
God Bless all you ladies and especially to Kim, thanks for such a great site! Will post pics later. Please keep me in your prayers.....see you on the flat side

2 days post op and doing pretty well :)

Well, I made it! I can honestly say I thought it would be worse (not that it's not horrible but my vag surgery was WAY worse) The damn cg is awful, I feel like a stuffed sausage and the no underwear thing is already bothering me. It's very painful on my back (not my tummy) sleeping in the recliner. I'm not sure when I can try the bed. Any thoughts on that?
I in no way could have done this without my amazing and wonderful husband. He has been so awesome with everything, from helping me up, taking care of all 3 kids, and last night my youngest woke up vomiting. I'm praying she gets better real soon and doesn't pass it on.
Praise be to God, my saviour and rock.
Will post pics when I'm able. Take care everyone, happy healing

I'm chugging along, slowly

Feeling pretty darn good!

Hello ladies,
I am 7 days po and I feel pretty darn good! I had my first po apt and he 'unveiled' my tummy ( whoa Nelly! That sticky protective gauze felt like it ripped the first 4 layers of skin off when he removed it) and also had my pain in the butt drains removed (very cool sensation! though hubby freaked a bit LOL) My ps said he was very pleased with how I look and how I am feeling. I'm surprised myself at how well things are going, all Praise to God!
I feel SO much better now that I am free of all that sticky gauze under my cg, IT was actually hindering my mobility NOT my incision, crazy huh?
My first shower was GLORIOUS!!!! Will keep you posted. Take care ladies, God Bless

just a few pictures

I am 10 days po and today I was not too bright, you'd think I would know better by reading about everyone's excitement to "get out of the house" and over doing it but NO! Walmart was calling me and the cart made it SO much easier to just "check one more thing honey" 2.5 hours later, then off to pick up some yummy steaks (had an amazing lunch with my husband and my father and then take the kids to gymnastics! I was overly ambitious, I mean what the heck was I thinking?!
Is it normal for my *zone* to be swollen and puffy? It has not swelled at all until today half way through the day it felt kind of bruised and now it almost feels like it is throbbing. Sheesh.
Still in the recliner. Hate this thing. I do feel 'safer' and more cocooned in it though. I don't have to worry about my husband rolling over and squishing me this way but I miss sleeping in my bed and being beside my honey.
Question, when I shower I can shave my thighs just fine but when I try to do my calves and bend over, on my left side I have this really weird sensation that is starting to worry me. Right in the whole lower left quadrant near and around my incision it twinges and feels like it's crimping, so much so that even with my foot up on my shower chair it's like and electric shock. What in the world is that? Is it my nerves waking up in a bad way? Will it work itself out and go away?
Overall, I am a pretty happy camper :) It *still* doesn't seem real yet, did I really go through with it? I find myself looking in the mirror and not believing it yet, lol.
I go back to ps on Monday, hopefully he will remove the strip of tape and I can see the whole incision (the center part fell off after my first shower) and maybe he'll take out some stitches? Is my bb looking weird? I don't want it to be a line, to me it looks that way right now and I'm a bit worried it won't be a normal looking bb. I'm probably just freaking myself out right?

Uneventful so far...

Hello ladies,
I'm 19 days po. Things have been going pretty good, can't really complain. I've been out and about doing some shopping, Christmas shopping for the kids and after a couple hours I am pooped! My incision and my tummy in general feel super tight and on two occasions this week getting in/out of the car it actually split open and bled (just a wee bit) but it was uncomfortable and of course got my cg all nasty!
To be honest, over the last few days I have really been in a funk for some reason. I do not fit in any of the clothes I want to fit in and the pictures are not reassuring (am or pm). Blah..can't wait to get the okay to exercise. Maybe that will help the mood?
Hope everyone is healing nicely! Take care ladies :)

Rainy Halloween

We took the kids out tonight and of course it was raining and the wind was crazy! I had planned to bring my walker (In case I needed to sit and rest) but I didn't bring it. Things went alright but my tummy got really hard and tight. This will sound crazy but the tightness feels like when you letdown (nursing) and your uterus contracts. Is that normal? I know most ladies say they have that tightness too, just wondering if that sensation is normal, lol.
On top of the sinus infection I have been fighting (now on antibiotics) I threw up today :( I simply cannot imagine the pure agony that those of you experienced very early PO with vomiting. It has been 23 days now and it was not pleasant, I'm so very grateful I haven't thrown up prior to this my heart goes out to those who weren't so fortunate! My little ones seem to be picking up every single bug since school began and keep getting quite sick and it just lingers, no one gets 'all better'. So I'm sure that I managed to pick up the vomiting that dd#3 had a few days ago. Ughhh. Taking my gravol and resting now, guess I should be sleeping though.

Thank you all for your kind words! It really has helped brighten those days that seem so upsetting. I know there's a big change in my body but I just don't feel it I guess. Perhaps I'm swollen? Hopefully. I see my PS on Monday so I'll see what he has to say about 'things'. Take care everyone! God Bless

what is this?

I have these really hard areas on either side of my incision, when I say really hard I mean like concrete hard. What is that? Is it scar tissue? Should I be concerned? Will it go away (it seems to be getting larger..)Is there something I could be doing to help it, whatever 'it' is? Ughh.....
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