Ten Pounds of Jello in a Five Pound Bowl - Ontario, Canada
- updated 3 months ago
Thank you all so much for sharing all of your...
- 19 Jun 2012
- 1 year pre
Thank you all so much for sharing all of your stories so honestly. I am so happy to have found this site. It has helped me so much. My consultation, after a 2 year wait, is this coming Monday, June 25th. Because I am Canadian and hope to have OHIP cover my surgery the wait time was very long. Only two surgeons here in my hometown do OHIP approved BR’s.
My story started out innocently enough. During grade school when the other girls were getting their cute little training bra’s I had nothing. Zip. I was SO jealous, making only small gains up until the end of my second year of high school. Weirdly over that summer I suddenly blossomed into a pretty full 36D cup without any other meaningful weight gain. Although I had longed for bigger breasts, I was unprepared for the amount of attention the “girls” were suddenly attracting. Instead of being proud of them it was then I started my life-long habit of trying to keep them concealed as much as possible.
When I breast fed my two boys people were telling me I would regret it because my breasts would be MUCH smaller when I was done. My youngest is 24 years old now and I am still WAITING for that to happen. In actual fact over the course of my two pregnancies I grew from a D cup to 38DDD. I had a back injury in high school where I fractured and compressed two discs in my lower back. For my first pregnancy I had the epidural and with the weight of my breasts when I was nursing (oh my goodness they were big when they were full of milk) my back went out for the first time and continues to be very problematic if I am not very, very careful.
When I hit menopause I tried the HRT to deal with my hot flashes. Although the HRT worked really well I could not continue on with it because I had a small stroke like issue. The girls, however, had grown into an 38 H cup. Even though I had quit the hormones and despite losing some weight, they remained the same size. My physiotherapist told me that going forward I should always wear two bras at the same time. That helped a little bit with the strain but is miserably uncomfortable AND expensive.
I was now having huge issues with my back as well as shoulders and neck. Just like most of you I have a constant rash, shoulder indentations, headaches, neck pain, back spasms etc. My physiotherapist, because my back was out once again, suggested that I consider a BR so I asked my GP for the referral. At this point no amount of strengthening exercises were helping and it is weight vs. gravity. Sometimes, when I am trying to get to sleep the size of them makes it very hard to breathe as well and my arms and hands fall asleep.
I had not really given much deep thought to my appointment over the two years as it seemed like such a long time in the future. However, in the last 3 weeks it has been the only thing I have been thinking about and my nerves have popped to the surface. I had done some research on the clinical side of a BR but decided to do some more investigation into what happens to real women and that is what led me, thankfully, to this site.
Emotionally though I am all over the place. Alternatively I am worried that OHIP will turn me down I have put on some weight over the last two years and now my girls look like 10lbs of Jello in a 5lb bowl in my current bra’s (one boob is bigger than the other so getting the fit right is near to impossible) so I am afraid my BMI might be too high. I am fretting that I am making a mistake, that I am wasting the surgeon’s time if I go the appointment and then decide to chicken out, that if I go ahead my significant other will not find me desirable any more. Don’t get me wrong – he is very supportive but this is a guy that kisses me goodnight and then kisses the GIRLS goodnight. He has made me feel a lot better about how I feel about myself and my body and to love myself for who I am. He says I need to do whatever I should for my health but I sometimes feel that since 6th grade my entire self image has been tied up with what is going on with my cleavage and that I am going to have nothing but psychological problems going forward. In fact, some of the people who I have told about my appointment actually say that to me. It has unearthed a lot of issues that I thought I had dealt with but clearly I had just pushed down. When I look down at the girls they look full and pretty – when I see photographs of myself I cannot believe how big and overwhelming they are. They are kind of like the iceberg that hit the Titanic – I can only see the very tip when I look down and it doesn’t look like much of a problem but in all other ways they are devastating.
And I am afraid of the surgery itself. I have had my gall bladder out (about 25 years ago) and had a really hard time with the anesthesia. I didn’t know until reading some of your stories that you can speak to the anesthesiologist about that but still worried about a bad reaction. Afraid I won’t be able to handle the pain. Afraid the outcome will not be good. Afraid they will be still too big; more afraid that they will be too small and I will look even more like a freak of nature. More or less just plain afraid.
I have met 3 people now in person who have had this done. Two girls have terrible scarring. Both admit that they did not take particularly good care of themselves post op. One is devastated and sorry she went ahead with it as her breasts are different sizes and the nipples look bizarre. The other hates her scars but loves that she is smaller. Then on vacation just before I asked for my referral I met this great girl at the pool. She was a year post-op from her surgery and she was SO FREAKIN’ HAPPY and she looked like a million dollars in a swimsuit. Since I had spent the previous 3 weeks shopping for a bathing suit that didn’t make me cry in the dressing room that I was going to cover up anyway, looking awesome in a swimsuit seemed like the holy grail of outcomes, pain and suffering notwithstanding. She wasn’t particularly shy about showing them to me either and they looked amazing. I decided to talk to my doctor as soon as I got home.
But so much time has passed since that I am beginning to really second guess all of it. BUT, after reading everything and seeing how supportive you all are I am going to keep my appointment on Monday armed with my list of questions and see how that goes.
Will post my before pictures soon,
Cheers to you all,
So happy and relieved! My sister was keeping me...
- 25 Jun 2012
- 1 year pre
I had my consult this afternoon and it could not have gone better. Love my PS - he was really personable and knowledgeable and answered most of my questions before I could even ask them! Thank you Piggles for the excellent list of questions! He thinks full C, smallish D is completely doable, although as everyone else has found out, cannot guarantee a size. He was pretty thorough in covering the procedure and the risks. EVERYONE I talked to just loves this guy. He has 30 years of experience but has kept very current in methodology etc. I did not find him cold and clinical at all but he is very much to the point which I really appreciate.
His assistant, who is also lovely, will be getting back to me within the month with the date of my surgery which they told me would be late winter, early spring in 2013. Seems like a LONG time away but it gives me some time to get some more weight off (down 15 lbs so far). He was pretty clear that there is nothing I can do to "jump the line" which cracked me up. I hear "don't you know who I am" quite a bit in my job so I hate people who try that. I told him I didn't know anyone of influence so I wouldn't be pestering his assistant to try to get in earlier. They said if they get a cancellation everyone more or less moves sequentially and I am more than good with that.
So, now I can stop worrying that I won't be eligible to worrying about the surgery itself! LOL I am a real "over-thinker" and drive myself more than a little crazy playing the "what-if?" game with myself. I kind have gotten over the fear of looking worse than I do now. I took some before photo's and believe me, these puppies are not the boobies of my youth for sure. been holding on to an image of the "girls" that hasn't existed for a long time. I think I have come to terms with trading the pain, humiliation, self-hatred and droopiness for the surgery and scars. Also, I am working on feeling worthy of feeling good about myself for myself. Well, for today anyway - still a serious work in progress. :) I know you gals will help keep me on that path!
Okay, I am driving myself crazy. For every 30...
- 6 Jul 2012
- 11 months pre
I come back here and check out some of YOUR amazing pictures and I get excited again but there always seems to be that little devil on my shoulder whispering negatives into my ear.
I also have a question. Since I started menopause my left nipple has started to kind of turn inward. The surgeon said, because he leaves the nipple attached it is most likely, but not 100%, that it will continue to turn inward. Miss Right Nipple is perfectly fine. Has anyone else had any experience with a before and after with a shy nip?
I was at a party last night and actually MET...
- 23 Aug 2012
- 10 months pre
I have my surgery date now - June 20th and I can't...
- 18 Mar 2013
- 3 months pre
I have a question about conditioning your skin. ...
- 23 Apr 2013
- 2 months pre
My pre-op appointment is booked for June 13th -...
- 10 May 2013
- 1 month pre
We bought an elliptical trainer and some weights and I have been working out and dieting to try to get some weight off. I have lost about 25 pounds since Christmas but have settled into a plateau which is VERY frustrating. I have six weeks to go before surgery so I guess I need to buckle down and readjust my diet plan.
I am trying to decide what to wear to and from the hospital. This is a day surgery so there will be no overnight stay. Any advice?
Crikey!! My surgery has been moved up to May 30th...
- 13 May 2013
- 1 month pre
- 29 May 2013
- 21 days pre
Officially over the rainbow!
- 31 May 2013
- 19 days pre
5 Days Post Op
- 4 Jun 2013
- 15 days pre
So, on the day of my surgery I was so anxious - as you would be before any major surgery. We arrived 3 minutes late to the admissions clinic (I was freaking out thinking that might disqualify me for surgery - LOL) but intake was pretty smooth. I met with the anesthesia student, Holly, who was really a lovely person. We talked about my issue with anesthesia in the past (I was very nauseous coming out of my gall bladder surgery and experienced some pretty intense vomiting) but she explained that things had really changed in the years since then and the would add something to keep my stomach settled. When she took my pulse she discovered that I had an irregular heartbeat (no kidding - at this point my heart was practically beating out of my chest) and thought it weird that no one had ever mentioned it to me. They did an ECG onsite and because my baseline is fine the Anesthesiologist felt it was fine to go ahead with the surgery. I was mostly relieved (but to be honest a very small bit disappointed because I was having a hard time controlling my nerves and was really thinking that maybe I didn't need the surgery after all. The universe took care of that by having one of my big boobs shove a rib out of place at that exact moment and I remembered WHY this was all necessary). Dr Evans did the mark-up, told me I had cock-eyed nipples that he would fix during the surgery (Who knew - I hadn't seen my nipples straight on for probably 41 years so I had no idea what they were doing down there). HIs resident was a good looking young man named Romy (I could have sworn when he introduced himself to me he said Romeo so that is how I am going to choose to remember him, thank you very much) and the nurse was named Ryan. They did a great job of making me laugh on my way to the OR. I was panicking inside thinking that the meds were not actually going to work but Holly did a fantastic job of keeping me calm and the next think I knew I was waking up in recovery.
For the record I really didn't want to wake up. For you menopausal women who have not had a great nights sleep in years you will know what I mean. I knew I was coming to but I really just wanted another 15 minutes. Maybe half an hour. You know, just sleep in a little bit. But no.
I rated the pain at about a 4 - it wasn't sharp at all. More like an irritating burning, but prolonged so I was happy to get the pain meds. I have to say, the little cup of cold water than came with the pills was the tastiest, most delicious water I have ever had. EVER.
It wasn't long before they moved me to the Day Surgery post -op where I was given some gingerale. Just like the water, it was the most wonderful gingerale I had ever had. Neil was with me within 10 minutes and in another 10 they told him to go bring the car up to the front door. While he was gone I took my first little walk to the bathroom which went well but on returning to my bed I was overcome with nausea. I didn't vomit but the lovely nurse (oh, she was so great I wish I could remember her name) gave me a couple of bags for the trip home. Good idea, because about halfway there (only a 20 minute trip) I was sick. But just a little. Then I cried. Not because of pain - there was no pain - but because it occurred to me that I had full range of motion in my neck with no pain. I was turning my head to look a things without flinching. It was an amazingly emotional moment for me.
Neil had my prescription filled and I stayed on my med schedule until about 3:30 a.m. I didn't need another until 1:30 the next day and it was only a half dose. I took another half dose just before the nurse showed up to take my drains out. The right side was fine - I never felt a thing. The left side - well, it felt like it was cemented in there and hurt but only for a couple of seconds. Then it was done. Such a relief to get the drains out.
I had a little trouble with the meds - double vision until yesterday and a brutal headache to match but today I feel so great. No back problems, no shoulder problems, no rib problems, even my knee problems seem to have cleared up. Crazy, but wonderful. Not even taking tylenol. I am using maxipads instead of gauze (I found the gauze really irritating) and only once in a while my incisions feel irritated. I have no issues with any infection, the recover nurse, the day surgery recovery nurse and wound care nurse were really impressed with Dr. Evans work (so am I) and my healing has been excellent. I credit that with all the great advice I have gotten from you on preparation and recovery. Everyone has been so wonderful in sharing their stories and experiences. I really could not have done it without you!
I have to give special credit to Piggles70 who kicked my ass all the way to this surgery including one particularly hilarious and inspiring email I received on the way to the hospital. It was particularly timely since we were stopped at a red light and I was thinking seriously about making a break for it. Thanks for keeping me in the car.
Drinking the lemon water like it's my job!
I week post op
- 7 Jun 2013
- 12 days pre
Things are going well on the left side - everything seems to be healing well. On the right I have a little spot the size of a quarter where the skin seems to be peeling off. It has been the only spot with discharge right from the surgery (not the black area below it - that is just a spectacular bruise) - otherwise all my incisions have been perfectly dry. I mentioned it to the wound care nurse of Monday and she didn't think it was a problem but at my appointment today a new nurse covered it in an antibacterial pad. I am to replace it every day and go back on Monday for another look. I see the PS on Wednesday but if anything develops with it I am going to call to get in earlier. There is no heat or smell and the discharge is very little but it is still bugging me. Why can't Miss Righty be more like Miss Lefty. Just like sisters. LOL
2 Weeks Post-Op - Heaven is a hot shower!
- 13 Jun 2013
- 6 days pre
My incisions look good - I adore my new tiny nipples. They are so cute compared to what they used to look like. Miss Lefty used to be kind of shy also - but now she is standing up pretty proudly. It is kind of weird to have the "headlights" on all the time. To think I was worried that I would lose any sensation in them - they are offering up all the sensation I can handle at the moment.
My energy is pretty good and I am sticking to the healing diet to deal with the spot. My PS said to stick with sports bras until I see him again in 3 months (earlier if I develop any issues or concerns). I went through my drawers and got rid of most of my big old bra's although I kept a couple for future comparison as well as some of the stuff I bought to accomodate the old boobs. They look quite ridiculous on me now. It is so fantastic and I really love the new size even with the swelling. I can't wait to see what they settle down into.
No real pain and only the tiniest bit of itching so far. The tops and sides are still really tender - even the water from the shower was a little too much but day by day they feel softer. A little bit of the deeper bruising is coming up but the really dark bruising is rapidly disappearing.
I can't believe it has already been 2 weeks! Time is really flying by!
Week 3 - time is passing so quickly
- 22 Jun 2013
- 2 days post
I had one day of the legendary week 3 blues but it passed pretty quickly- hubby was VERY understanding .
When I went out to pick up some more sports bras and could not believe the size I am now wearing. It is unfreakingbelievable! I had my doubts heading into the fitting room but wow! I cried a little with the happiness of it. I bought some with really cute little straps to sleep in ($5 each - seriously) but I find the ones with more support and pressure actually make me feel better. It is not painful exactly, but uncomfortable. You really feel it if you have done too much at the end of the day but every day everything feels a lot better.
Six weeks and feeling great!
- 12 Jul 2013
- 22 days post
I still have the issue with the open area on the right side but it is clearing up nicely. Using Bactigras (pre-medicated gauze) as well as some areas around the aureola where the stitches seemed to be knotted but those area also clearing up. "Something" small seems to be going on halfway down the vertical incision on the left side and I am keeping an eye on that. Most likely a stitch trying to work itself out. These pictures are a couple of day old and there has been even more progress. I will try to post some new shots in the next day or so.
- 12 Jul 2013
- 22 days post
7 weeks over sundress comparisons
- 17 Jul 2013
- 27 days post
I will be 7 weeks post tomorrow. The discomfort is almost gone now although at the end of the day with swelling it kind of feels like I am wearing a bra made out of wire that is cutting across my breasts. It is a really weird sensation - it makes me look to make sure that my bra has ridden up and is up around my nipples.
The other thing I noticed last night was while we were walking back to the car they move now. Before my surgery I was wearing at least 2 bras all the time - sometime 3 if I was planning on working out. Then after surgery they were pretty rock hard. The sensation of them moving now that they are dropping is so foreign to me. Also, it has been REALLY hot and sticky here for about six days- today it currently feels like 40 degrees Celcius with the humidex (that's 104 Farenheit) and I have NO UNDERBOOB RASH. That alone made this surgery worth it. In the past when we had weather like this the rash would end up raw and I would have to wear the pads under my bra to keep the blood off my clothes. What an amazing relief.
After surgery sundresses!
- 17 Jul 2013
- 27 days post
Two Months OTR
- 30 Jul 2013
- 1 month post
Both of them have softened up a lot and I love the shape of them. I am looking forward to getting back to working out. Prior to the surgery I was working out 5 days a week to get into better shape for the surgery and must admit that I have put on about 6 pounds during my recovery. This week I have started back on the elliptical but until things are resolved with my incisions won't be going back to weights. I really have fallen off my healthy eating plan in the last couple of weeks and am getting back on track with that as well. Overall things are pretty comfortable with them - just the odd zinger now and again. I am really looking forward to seeing how the healing process goes in month 3!
Follow up with PS at week 15
- 13 Sep 2013
- 3 months post
For those of you who are considering this surgery or those of you who are in the process but are feeling frightened or apprehensive about ANY aspect of it let me tell you that it is such a miracle. I surprised myself when I burst into tears at the end of my PS appointment. I am overwhelmed by the amazing, positive changes in my life and my only regret is that I let fear keep me from doing it sooner.
Love to you all, wherever you are in journey to health and happiness!
Referred by my GP,then I checked out Dr. Evan's credentials and reviews. People love him and he does fantastic work. And they are right to - he is fanatical about details and my incisions are beautiful. I could not be happier with how I was treated, the surgery itself or the outcome. Even at this early stage the relief I feel in my back and shoulders is amazing and the shape of my breasts will be lovely in time. I am so grateful to Dr. Evans and his team at University Hospital. I simply do not have the words to express how unbelievably happy I am. Dr. Evans is all 5's and it is absolutely worth it all!