almost 1 full yr PO, upper tummy is hard, tight and measures larger than before

After almost 20 years of having babies...I sincerely cant believe that i am really finally doing this! I am 46 years old..I have had 4 c-sections (my children are extremely spaced out in age 19,14,12 and 6) I have also had an emergency removal of ruptured tube and ovary plus two other minor laparoscopic surgeries..I gained a significant amount of weight with each baby, (always 50+ pounds) but luckily always lost it..and i was blessed with being stretch mark free! I am about 5'4 and stay around 130 on a good day (but can weigh 6-8 pounds more depending on what i had for dinner or what time of the month it is..seriously, i can have this much water weight over night..does anyone else do this??)...I love to eat, but try to keep it in check (i eat whole, fresh food as often as possible..limiting my intake of processed stuff) I am active..it is hard for me to "be idle"...i work out as often as possible..but there is always the c section shelf and stretched out tummy that doesn't respond to ANYTHING..I find myself spending a lot of time trying to find things to wear that "disguise" my middle or i resort to being hot and miserable wearing girdles with everything...I am a size 4/6 so I know you don't think of someone that size wanting to wear girdles, BUT my midsection is more like a 10/12 so it makes it tricky to dress for anything..does that make sense? For me, it has been a tremendous "mental" struggle to get my mind around doing something for ME...I have never really had extra money to make this happen and certainly can always justify "other" things to spend the money on!!! Plus, I worry about the message that i am sending to my kids about loving their bodies...BUT, I have made peace with my issues in the fact that by doing this i am regaining a strong core and simply repairing what no amount of diet and exercise can!! Not only will my tummy be "prettier" but healthier...i have to think that having your muscle structure put back into place will pay off down the road plus i do have a small hernia that will be repaired...sooooo, that being said May 2nd is the day! I have taken care of payment and pre-op this past week and making all the prep around my house that i can with preparing meals, cleaning, getting stuff in order for the kids etc...My husband is 110% supportive, but he also has a very demanding work schedule so I am hoping that we can juggle everything around the house (especially for the immediate week or so) and at least all the kids are in school for a few more weeks so that will help..I always did extremely well with c section recovery but i just dont know if this will be easier or harder.. plus each and every surgery is different of course...wishing all of you ladies much health and happiness in the journey to the flat side...blessings to all and good night for now, p.s. i am most freaked out about the drains?? my doctor said he anticipated 2-3 days...but it seems like everyone i read about has them for longer than that...any experience or thoughts?

Really glad to have this site...so great to chat with kind people in the same boat!! so nice to gather a variety of info...and i will have to say, for me it is kind of just therapeutic to write about my feelings!! hope everyone is having a good day...sending positive vibes to all!! may 2nd is just a heartbeat away...so many things to do!!

I am on day 4 or 5 of a fairly intense headache (i know that it is caused by going cold turkey off my birth control pills which help keep my hormone levels stable)but they do contain an aspirin product so it was a must to stop...Getting kids ready ready for school...i keep thinking, tomorrrow at this time i will be at the hospital!! so much to do around here, but there always is and always will be...I am actually trying to just take it easy on myself and not feel like i have to move heaven and earth (which is how i typically make myself feel) Am i nervous? yes, but not like i thought i would be considering it is less than 24 hours away!! I actually have a strange peace right now..i have my supplies and also ordered another binder to have on hand which i got in the mail yesterday...I tried it on and this is crazy but it felt so good..(yes, i know i wont be thinking that soon,,everyone says they get sooo sick of their binder) but it actually made my back and guts feel supported in just trying it on last night and i thought maybe i should have been wearing one of these for years...lol.