My Surgery is Scheduled - Ogden, UT

I scheduled my surgery for November and I wish more than anything it was tomorrow! I maintain 16% body fat year round, I work extrememly hard in the gym and eat very clean. I have done a fitness show and was STILL so self conscious about my stomach--after having 2 kids (5 years old and 3 years old)I am just stretched out and saggy and I absolutely CAN NOT wait to have my surgery. Dr Ralston in Ogden Utah is doing the surgery-- I will be traveling from Idaho to have the procedure as it is about 4k less expensive there and I know several people who have used Ralston and LOVED him, I have loved his office staff and I get the best feeling/vibe from their office. The pictures he evaluated show that I will need a full tummy tuck and I again, am so excited every day!

All I do is browse through the pictures looking for someone like me! It has been hard to find someone that hasn't lost a substantial amount of weight and needs a tuck. When not pregnant, I have never weighed over 165, and I maintain about 145 now--granted at 16% body fat oppose to the 25% I used to be. But still, I really think its just genetic and my big babies that stretched me out so much. I eat very clean, I train very regimented (5 days a week, lifting heavy weights and doing 20 minutes of HIIT cardio typically, depending on what cycle of my training I am in)
I hope that my reviews will help someone out there realize that no matter how hard you exercise and eat well--some of us are just burdened with extra skin that makes ME look fat. I hate it. I feel like my stomach doesn't match the rest of my in shape body. I want to upload more pictures but it wont let me here so I will see if I can figure out how to do that!

So it IS September--never mind the beginning of Sept. My surgery is in November, so therefor my surgery is in two months.
OMG!! I keep being so excited. Everyone keeps saying I am going to be hurting so bad, yada yada yada I know! It's gonna hurt like a mother. But I can't wait for 3 months after when it isn't hurting so bad and I can stop thinking about this skin sagging around the place!!
I am traveling 5 hours for surgery! Does anyone have experience with this? I am nervous about the car trip home! My primary care physicians office has said if I have any problems they will help me any way they can, but I am going in with positivity that all will be well and I will heal up quickly and great! Power of positivity right?

I just had the longest update done, and then boom! Its gone.
How annoying! My new computer is killing me!!!

Now Ill be much more brief:) I am concerned about the scar. I have 2 clients that have amazingly beautiful straight scars. But I have seen pictures of horribly choppy ones and I am praying that I will be lucky on that front. Although any scar is better than this pooch of skin that sits on my thighs when I sit, or that stupid bulge I get from wearing pants that makes my stomach look fat when in reality its skin.

I am doing well with my cut. Down 5 lbs (143 this morning, 16% body fat last time I tested). Plan to cut down to 137 so I have wiggle room to maintain 140. Those 8 lbs seem crazy to some people but when I am at a low body fat, those 8 lbs do make a rather big difference in how I look. I hope that post surgery some of my obsessiveness (Id call it mild obsessiveness) with how lean I am will dissipate as I have to be so lean in order to maintain a less huge looking stomach. 148 plounds seems so heavy to some people, but with as much muscle as I have on my frame I am very pleased with my physique minus that stupid skin!!!

My girlfriend is driving me to Ogden for surgery. I remember how freaking bad my chest hurt after breast augmentation just 30 minutes from home so I am nervous about the ride home for 5 hours. Praying for good pain meds and easy sleep :) Does anyone have experience traveling like this (not across country, and not someone who is super rich--lol as I am definitely a middle income family and I am financing my surgery at 0% interest) so the idea of having to drive back and forth for complications is a little nerve recking.....

That's all I got for today.
So excited for surgery. Wish it were tomorrow. Cant wait for a flat belly!!!

All I can say is I want surgery tomorrow. My husband has several hunting trips coming up--my kids birthdays are in September and October and hubbys and mine are right before surgery November 19th. My work is slower around thanksgiving and Christmas....My ride down to my surgery really needs it to be after November 9th. My husband has his time scheduled off and I need to be patient and wait because it is all ready and will run smoothly.
BUT MY GOSH I want to reschedule to the soonest possible date. I can hardly contain myself I just want surgery, want to start recooperating and move on with my life.
I cant wait to see a flat stomach. To see my chotch. To not lift my pants or underwear up and over that skin flap 1000 times a day. I can't wait to run and not see skin swishing back and forth. I can't wait to roll to my side and not see a blog of skin lying right next to me.
I love this site and everyone I have read has had such smooth healing processes I just can't freaking wait.

I was at walmart today and I saw these huge granny panties for 1$ each. they were cotton so I bought them because I remember reading a few people saying they needed higher ones after surgery. LOL I can't wait to wear them which is so freaking weird!!!! I can't wait to wear ugly undies!!! lol I crack myself up.

Two people have recently told me I am taking the easy way out by having surgery. One said I was ":cheating" and one said she would come see me after I am "All skinny from surgery". And I felt like punching them in the throat!!! They don't even realize how long I have worked and how diligent I am to have nothing change in my abdominal area. People suck

I don't have anything new to update.
Still working out hard, took a week off of strict dieting and enjoyed yummy food and good workouts while I had company in town. Now its back to game face on.
Gotten over people being punks and saying I am taking the easy way out. I am too tired to care and too excited to worry about it.
I am feeling tremendous guilt over the money. We are a middle income family and if I were a very financially responsible person ALL the time, I would not be having this surgery. But if I wait til I have 6k sitting around in cash, I will be waiting til I die. And i want this so bad, more than anything I am just doing it anyway. I am sure the guilt will continue, some days be more some days be less--but I truly feel like in one year from now I will be thankful I had it done and thankful I spent the money to do something that is going to make me feel so much more confident in my body.
Still wish surgery was tomorrow.

can't stop looking at everyone elses stomach around me. I just look at stomachs all day every day. In clothes, in the gym, on this site. Everywhere. Can't freaking wait to have a normal looking stomach.

At the gym today I really wanted to take some pictures and post them. I think I will on my fitness blog too. I really want people to SEE and UNDERSTAND why I HAVE to do this for myself.
These pictures make my heart so sad. I hate hating my stomach. I HATE that I try to teach women everyday to love themselves and realize how worthy of love and respect they are, when I can't do it. I can't get on board. I hate my stomach and I want it gone. Today.
I can't wait. I am sick of the sadness everytime I look in the mirror. I am sick of freaking out if my shirt creeps up. I am sick of wearing pants nad looking like I have a muffin top because I DON'T. I am sick of this crap.
Novemeber can't come soon enough. I am going into debt for this and I can't wait. Seems insane when I say it, type it, but I literally feel like I will look back in 365 days and say it was the best thing I have ever done. I am not scared for surgery. I am not scared of recovery. I can't freaking wait.

Every time I work my abs so hard and im sore the next couple days it makes me a little nervous for recovery. Laughing. Sneezing. Pooping.
atleast ill be flat and happy hahaha get it? Not fat n happy. Ok wow I better go to bed :)

My birthday is in ONE month from today. I leave for Utah for surgery in a month from TOMORROW. Freak I can't wait.
That's it.
Can't wait. Been taking a ton of pictures lately. I always have but now I am taking them so I can remember.
1 month!

Ok it seems like yesterday and today have gone by so slow I am scared the next month is going to go by slow when all I want is it to go by fast.
I emailed my dr. this week. I asked her about the arnica of montana some people have told me about to help with healing. She said no...not a good idea. Recommended an iron supplement but that is it. She also told me no protein shakes 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after. I don't know why. I don't really care why either cuz I can just do egg white shakes instead to keep my protein intake up. She could tell me to do some pretty weird things at this point and I would nod and say "yes mam"
I can't remember what made me think of this but oh yah, that was it. I was talking to my friend-- tall thin friend, with bigger legs and booty. I only say that so that you know bodywise who I am talking to. Anyway, she is the sweetest most kind friend and is truly such a good example to me to be a better wife and mom. Anyway-- so we were talking about how excited I am about my surgery and she was like, I am excited for you because you are excited. But I just don't think you need it.

I don't really care if others think I need it or not. I want it. I need it. I love all these people but for some reason, even if people are totally against surgery I just want them to LOOK at me, and say "yah, I totally understand why you are such a freak about your stomach and want to have it surgically removed."

Its like I am waiting for people to tell me I am not nuts. Like that stomach that i see in the mirror--they don't see it? I really do sometimes wonder if I am crazy. I know I have body dismorphia to a degree. I know I am extrememly self conscious. But I really wonder if other people DONT see my freaking stomach rolls, or if they think they are being nice by saying that.

It's a weird thought, I know. But if anyone else thinks like this--they are on this site probably doing exactly what I am doing so I thought I would help you feel like you aren't alone if it is YOU.

I know I need the surgery. I can't wait to just NOT see two rolls right under my amazing boobs and right on top of my nice legs. I don't know. It feels like it is goign to be such a breath of fresh air.

So I got an email from my dr today saying that they may need to do a vertical incision as well as a horizontal.

I don't know why but that really freaked me out. I had it imagined that it would be like hip bone to hip bone, and then belly button to chest?!!? I couldn't find any pictures and I was whigging out.

So I called the nurse. I WAS WRONG. She said it is so hard to decided exactly from pictures, that when I come to see them the day before surgery they will be able to determine better but if I were to need a vertical scar, it is a 1-2 inch scar below the belly button.

That made me feel way better. She asked me a bunch of health related questions and i was happy to report to her that I am healthy as a horse! I really feel strongly my recovery will go very well because I have maintained such a healthy lifestyle for so long.

In other news. I am still at 143-144 lbs. What the crap I don't even care. People keep telling me I look leaner and I SWEAR everytime I stop thinking about it--eat clean and listen to my body peopel start saying that. So whatevs. I'll take it. I am leaner and it is probably because I haven't been thinking about getting leaner :)

So it is almost tomorrow right now (530 pm in Idaho) so that means that technically my surgery is one day closer. I can't wait.

I am obsessed with taking pictures of myself. Just my stomach. These aer the pics dr Ralston saw and said I may need a vertical as well.
Whatever I just want him to make that sucker tight!!! These are my silver jeans and the ones with the white shirt are my cowgirl tuff jeans. I want to remember so I can compare pics post surgery!

I have some random what ifs popping in my head this weekend...

What if I don't have extra skin? What if I have been lying to myself and my stomach is really a bull full of jelly and a tummy tuck doesn't make me look different?

Yesterday i was buying my coconut oil at Fred Meyer I had a brief 10 minute conversation with my dad about how crazy he thinks this surgery is. How if I would just set this aside Id have over a hundred thousand dollars in 20 years. How I could take my kids to disney land. How if I don't do those things now I wont do them later.
I was pretty rattled. Sad. I am a rule follower. If daddy said don't go there, I didn't. If he said no to that boy, I stayed away. But I am a 28 year old woman with two kids and a hubby of 8 years and I have to do this. I can't wait. I KNOW if I wait, I will NEVEr go through with it.
I can't look at this anymore. I can't be sad every single gosh damn time I look in the mirror. I can't tug on my stomach. I can't. I wont. My gurdle thingymajiggers are paid for and ordered from my dr office. My appointment is held.
I have 20 days and I can't effing wait

So last minute my 6 year old decided she wanted to make me into a fancy cowgirl and I wanted to get mother of the year award so I let her.
anywho. Tighter shirt tucked into jeans so I wore my spanx from after I had my 4 year old. Holy shiznit that thang sucks!!!!! So uncomfortable!!!! Yikes

I am adding this to my update so when people are searching they may more easily find me. I want to read a atheletes recovery. While I am not a professional athlete, I train hard 5-6 days a week and have for the past 4 years. I have run a half marathon, taught bootcamp classes, am a personal tainer, have prepped for two figure shows and have competed in one. I am hoping to compete again in the fall of 2014 and I am just so curious to read someone else's story that trains and eats similar to the way I do.

So here is my food typically
meal 1 egg whites and oatmeal with blueberries
m2 protein shake with rice cakes
m3 chicken or ground turkey with yam and veggie
m4 greek yogurt with peanut butter
m5 protein and veggie
m6 cottage cheese/egg whites/protein shake
I eat every 3 hours and when I want a treat (like today I had a few fun size candy bars from my kids Halloween stash--although it is Nov. 3 today and I hadn't had a single piece prior. Meaning, I eat treats sometimes but not a daily thing by any means.

I do body building type splits in my workouts so I train heavy as I can (heavy as weights as I can for my assigned reps--I like most to work in the 8-12 rep ranges) I do back and biceps one day (my maximum to date is 8 overhand dead hang pullups... I have set a goal for 16 by end of year but beings that I wont be working out until the first of the year and I am only at 8 now-- I don't think that goal will be met until next year :() I do chest and triceps one day then legs another. I then repeat that with shoudlers and triceps and a second leg day each week as well. I don't love cardio but I do 20-40 minutes depending on the day after my lifting sessions.
I am just so ready to have my surgery so I can start the healing process. I hope I will be as lucky as many of you and be able to be up and "Go to the movies, or get my hair dyed" within a week. I just think that sounds so crazy! I am expecting to be laying on the couch for 1 week solid...as that's what I think I remember I did after my breast implants in 2010. I wish I would have documented that better so I could remember how my body healed.
I eat clean, I exercise, I don't drink, don't smoke...I just pray that my body is healthy and can bounce back quickly. I am not majorly concerned with not working out for 6-8 weeks--BUT I am concerned about not being able to do the basic things at home and not being able too go back to work. I took two weeks off and I hope that is enough time.
I will be in Utah waiting for surgery this time in two weeks. My consult is two weeks and one day away and my surgery is two weeks, two days. I just want the time to go by fast I am so ready.

All my paperwork came in the mail today. I am so excited!
Nervous because I don't know what the after care facility is called that I will be transported to right after surgery. I wish I knew I need to just call tomorrow so I can google the place and see what it looks like. But I am excited that I will be there overnight so the nurses can take care of me atleast for the first 24 hours before I drive home with my two girlfriends.
Starting to think about all the things I should be doing, but kind of don't want to start doing anything til next week this time so I have a ton to do and can be really busy up til the time to go. I need to go back down and write down everything that one friend posted that I need to bring. I will do that tonight atleast. I am so excited!!! Ready to be FLAT!!!!!!!!

I want my period to come right now. Right this second! It is supposed to start on the first of the month, it hasn't...omg I am freaking out it will start right before surgery or right after. (I have an IUD I am not worried about being preggo I just don't want to be bleeding while trying to recover!)
Ps. My husband had his vasectamy two weeks ago. I forget if I mentioned that. We have to "do it" hehe, 25 times then he has to have his sperm tested. He has been gone a week and my surgery is in less than 2....so we have13 days to do it 20 times or we will be waiting for months to finish this. How long did yall wait to have sex after surgery?

I can NOT wait to wear all these nike t shirts I have sitting in my closet I have been too self conscious to wear. Cleaning out drawers and closets today. I put a whole drawer full of all my "comfy" things like sweats, t shirts, comfy bras so that my husband can find them easy and quick for me when I get home

I don't know how because I haven't been dieting. But today I hit my goal of 140. Been maintaining between 140-145 for years so I'm happy to be on the low side before I take 6 weeks off from the gym.
Made 10 freezer meals today for my fam. Spent 130$ and got 10 seemingly yummy looking dinners. Kids helped and we had a blast. Pick my hubby up at airport tonight...hes been gone all week. Then bday celebrations tomorow, date night and i am then officially 7 days out from my trip to Utah to prep for my surgery which is the Tuesday after i get down there.
Just trying to enjoy the time with my kiddos and not wish it by so fast but having a hard time. I'm just ready. Today.

Wanted to see what this looks like in plank position

Got a ton of work done for my clients today so I am ready with all my paperwork done. i really just want to see the update say 9 NOV 2013. 9 days pre.

Makes me feeel realllllly happy.
xoxx

Wow I really need a life

So apparently it is time for the stress to hit my usually supportive about this procedure husband. Today my 6 year old was pretty sad when I mentioned I wouldn't be at church next week with them, which then led to the fact that mommy is going on a "girls trip" which makes her mad and sad that I am leaving.
My husband looked at me all with a rude face that made me feel even worse than my sweet little innocent 6 year old just had. Irked me.
20 minutes later I think to myself how I just need to tell him exactly what I need. I need him to be supportive and make sure and remind our kids I will miss them, that Ill be home soon, send me pictures etc and the next thing out of his mouth made my heart stop.

What am I supposed to tell them if you don't come home? your belly was more important than them.

I love him dearly but I really wanted to punch him in the throat. I am trying so hard to be loving and forgive him (Even though he hasn't apologized) beause I want to enjoy this week together before I leave and am debilitated for a few months but I am so hurt.

I pray he would think of something more sensitive and loving to tell our kids if something did happen. i am not worried about dying during or after surgery. I really am only worried about being away from them for 4 days. I feel so peaceful and content with my decision but that was a low blow and my heart is sad. There is nothing in this world more important than my family--my life. But at the same time, I have decided--years ago--this tummy tuck is something I needed for ME.

Anyway. Hope he is happier soon. Really hope he apologizes soon too. but if he doesn't, I am going to love him anyway because that is what I promised to do 8 years ago.

Tomorrow will be better.

Had hubby snap these the other day

I got up bright and early to have my blood work drawn. Called and confrimed my dr office has received results and everything looked good. I am cleared for surgery. I have called 5 times or so to ask some questions and I feel like the office staff is getting irritated withr me. I hate that. I am spending so much money and having my body cut open I wish they could act really happy to hear from me when I call, but, oh well.
I have all my shopping done that needs done for my drive. My husband will pick up the recliner I am borrowing from his dad while I am gone, and my friend is bringing me her walker to use tomorrow. I think on the surgery front I am pretty set. Doing all the laundry and last minute cleaning today so I can work tomorrow--Saturday celebrate my birthday with my kiddos while daddy works and then Sunday morning head to Utah.
Talked with my dad this morning. Him and I are really close and he is NOT happy about this surgery. Holy crap. I get it. But he wont stop saying he doens't "endorse" this surgery. I finally just said I get it dad, but I am doing it anyway I am sorry you don't like it. There are lots of things over the years you have done that I don't love and I try to tell you how I feel and then understand you are going to do whatever you feel is right for you, in your life--and leave it from there. Just a little bump in the road. I am an adult and I need to get over worrying about disappointing him or making him mad. He really shouldn't have an opinion on whether or not I do this so I am just trying really hard to LET IT GO.

Just so ready for surgery. Ready to get this show on the road. Not nervous. Just excited. Few days left!

Picking out what to wear Sunday and Monday, packing my hospital bag, loading it with what I think I will need. Couting down. 36 hours til take off. 96 hours til surgery

Til I head out to ogden! Can't wait. Pelly won't sleep tonight....gonna wake early for a last chance shoulder workout and some hi it then on the road to utah!!!! Yayyyu

Slept like a baby last night. Hit the hay early so I could come do a quick workout before I head out of town this morning.
Gonna make my kiddos some glow in the dark fairy jars when I get home, give me hubby some extra love and then get this show on the road.thanks everyone for your love and support. Im almost there!! 2 more sleeeeeeps!!

I met with Dr ralston today after I've been in Utah the last couple days with my girlfriends. We've been shopping, eating out and vegging having a nice little mommy - cation before I go in for surgery tomorow morning! I AM SO EXXXXCITED!!!!!
My Percacet is filled, my nausea medicine (it's a suppository...wthell?!?!?) Bought my stool softer with laxative in it and I am frigging ready.
Going to enjoy a yummy dinner tonight as it will be the last time I eat anything substantial for a couple days I'm sure! Iiiiiiiy!!! So excited,,, it's almost here! Thanks for the love and support!

So I woke up a half hour earlier than I was hoping....because I had to pooop!!! Yayyyyu!!! So happy I pooped today it is like one less thing to worry about for the day! The pharmacist told me in a very severe tone that "percocet will constipate you and it will be horrible. Take the softer with laxative in it and drink a ton of water"
I drink a gallon to a gallon and a half each day but was thinking of course, I'll have to decrease that I can NOT be going to the bathroom every single hour of the day but after that, and my Dr reminding me 500 times I have to get up and move even when I don't want to--$ maybe I'll continue the gallon to be sure it get up.
Surgery is in 65 minutes. I need to call.me
My kiddos here soon and tell my hubby I love his hot sexy face (already sent him some seductive pics, poor guy lol last piece of me he's gonna be seeing in a seductive way for .month or so huh?!!). I debated doing my hair and makeup because when I'm laying there practically dead I don't want to feel ugly too. Haven't decided yet so I'll see what the next hour brings.....
See you all on the flat side!!! Thanks for remembering me and for your support and well.wishes. it's gonna be a FLAT day!!!! Yay!!!

In recovery center super tired removed 1 lb 10 oz skin
I'm alive .d happy but sleepy

Time for a nap but wanted to share pix.
Pain is not bad. I already peed through the whole in my garment holy shiz balls that's super ghetto I do NOT like that part
Breathing deeply. So tired tho. Gonna turn on some church hymns in my ipoh and sleep. Xo friends

Wish I had my computer!
9 am I checked into office. Dr ralston drew on me and him Nd his amazing nurse Becky took extra time to make sure it was low enough and even. I told him to do whatever he needed to get it tight!
I weighed in on their scale at 142, I was extremely happy with that because I was 140 when I left home Sunday morning. I've been off for my regular exercise and nutrition routine and enjoyed some yummy treats I wouldn't usually eat (sees candy! !!)
Rich gave me my coctail. He tried to put on in on the top of my left hand but my tiny little dehydrated vain kept rolling so he had to restick me on the other side. He felt bad but i knew that pain was gonna be the least of my worries the next few days. Got it in and we were laughing and joking and then he introduced me to "Dr death" I was like wthell this is insane!!.and he is not.welxome here. He said it like 4 times and i was like holy shot am i being plunked right now this is not a funny joke AT ALL.
He actually said Dr deaf. Like he can't hear lol. The horror on my face and he was like Omgosh I'm so sorry I said deaf...I always have to repeat myself to him. LOL if I wasn't so sure of myself and my decision I may have been sweating then lmbo
Anyway that's the last i remember. Next thing I knew the rehab center was having me walk to a wheelchair 2 steps and they loaded me up into a like senior citizen looking van and away we went.
I was warned yesterday that this rehab center I'd a.reha quiet place for me to recover and have vitals checked--they would not be waiting on me hand and foot and honestly I'd prolly be ignored because they are so understaffed (poor nurses!!) Imagine my delight when my nurse,, was actually a true angel. She has been amazing. She Had a tummy tuck a few years back with Dr ralston as well and is now the assistant director of this very care facility. Well let's just say she has been amazing. So kind and caring. Making me feel like a VIP and helping me with every little thing, she even gave me her own Greek yogurts out of her office and it was delicioso as Dora would say. I've been getting 6-8 whatever unit measurements they use of morphine through a shot in the butt every 4 hours. ABOUT 3 hours in I am thinking "I'm ready for another shot" my stomach is still numbed from the surgery so I'm sure my pain is going to become much worse but right now at the moment I can honestly say i greatly over anticipated what my pain would be.
I pooped this morning before surgery and feel fine with no urge now. I have gone pee 4 times (2 times with no help) I am an avid squatter in the gym and that has helped me immensely as I can lift and lower myself very easy so far.
My blood oxygen level has been a bit low so I've been on oxygen which is irritating buy honestly I think my levels are always a little low so I'm not surprised at all by it . My blood pressure is low 85/65 but again I always run lower. So i am very unconcerned.
I've eaten a bit. About 15 bites of turkey thanksgiving dinner from the rehab center, a few almonds and a rice cake with peanut butter on it. All day. I'm not really hungry so I'm just listening to my body and going with the flow. I've taken no nausea medicine today. Which is crazy. I am certain will need it tomorrow when I start the percocet as I'm discharged. I have had a can of diet Dr pepper and I was yummy :) I will watch that closely though as time progresses as several.people have mentioned it making them swell more aqnd I don't want that.
Just had to take a break nurse wants me to go to bed and rest so I'll follow prders.
goos night real.self sister some to you all. Thank you for being such a support to me!! I didn't know how much I could possibly ever need such a big group of women I've never even met xo

Checked out and headed for idaho

Time to fly home now. All feels well walked to the car and everything. It's a great day to travel

We are two hours into our car trip home and I am just so shocked how smoothly it's going. I'm so tired--in and out of sleep. But able to.sing and hold conversations with the girls as we drive. I'm tilted back in the front seat of a huyandi élantra. Pillow under my knees and one on each side. Taking big deep breaths, using my Spiro meter and moving my feet Nd legs a bit to keep circulation going. We stopped and ate half a Carl's junior low.carb burger and a few sweet potato fries (holy shiz I probably haven't eaten a fast food burger and fries for two years!!) It was pretty yummy but i felt super self conscious about all the truckers looking at me like I'm a freak show.

I am having little pain and am due for another percocet in half an hour. Just gonna continue to stay on top every 4 hours at least for the next two days. I am continuing to be shocked at how smoothly and tolerable I feel. I just keep waiting for he'll to break loose and something to go nutso--- but so far so good.

Just being so grateful.So.so so happy and amazed at how I feel today. Pray it continues.
Happy healing sisters

Been in my recliner all day. I can get out of it by myself but I like it when my husband is close by and can just basically lift me out of it. I take my pain med exactly every 4 hrs because at 3.5hrs I can feel it start to hurt and burn. Once med kick in a am fine. I've taken two stool softeners with laxative in them twixe tosay and still no poop. My stomach is gurgling like it has to poop but I'm scared to push. I took half does milk of magnesium cuz I'm scared to get stomach cramps too. I hate stressing over poop!
I've had some rice cakes with peanut butter, some egg whites, pork loin and some fried fruit trail mix with an apple. Just want easy foods to digest which isn't seeming super easy to come up with. The apple was amazing probably most likely thing to help me poop.
A friend dropped off some books for me but I can't focus my eyes long enough to read yet so I am just browsing Internet and dozing off. My mom is bringing some Texas roadhouse for dinner which is unexpected and very thoughtful. Big wow my dad dropped off a diet soda earlier too. Thoughtful since he has been so antisurgery.
Made my heart feel happy he was so thoughtful even though he hates I had surgery

that's it for today. Barely any drainage and don't need to start measuring until Sunday. At this rate i doubt there will be much to measure cuz it is very minimal now. I also remove bellybutton plug Sunday so that will be.my first glimpse at my new belly!!

NOTHING NEW TO REPORT. SLEEPY FROM PAIN MEDS. HAVE GONE POOP TWICE THANKS TO SUPOSITORYS i DECIDED I LIKE THOSE BEST THEY DON'T HURT MY STOMACH AND THEY MAKE ME GO PRETTY QUICKLY. hOPE i WILL NOT HAVE TO CONTINUE USING THEM TOO MUCH LONGER BECAUSE I DO FEEL REALLY AWKWARD STICKING THEM IN MY BUM. LOL'
IT IS PISSING ME OFF THAT ALL MY TYPING IS HAVING ERRORS OR IS IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND ITS IRRITATING ME BECAUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING MY CURSOR MOVES TO ANNOTHER LINE IN THE PARAGRAPH AND SCREWS EVERYTHING IVE WRITTEN UP. ITS HARD TO TYPE AND READ ON DRUGS. LOL. I KEEP FALLING ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF READING THINGS I AM ONLY 28 YEARS OLD SO IT MAKES ME LAUGH I SHOULD BE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS BUT THATS WHAT PAIN KILLERS DO TO ME I GUESS
MY HUBBY HELPED ME BY SHAVING MY LOWER LEGS TODAY THEY WERE DRIVING ME NUTS. WASHED MY FACE AND I FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER THAT.
MY SKIN IS GETTING VERY ITCHY AND I WANT TO SCRATCH EVERYWHERE LIKE CRAZY. i GET TO LOOSEN THE CG SUNDAY TO REMOVE BELLY BUTTON TAPE PLUG AND STITCHES. WELL MY FRIEND WHO IS AN RN IS GOIGN TO COME DO IT FOR ME. MAYBE I WILL BE ABLE TO SNEAK A COUPLE PICTURES THEN.
I AM ONLY DRAINING MY DRAINS EVERY 2 HRS TO KEEP THE SUCTION. I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN MORE THAN 10 CCS OR WHATEVER UNIT MEASUREMENT IT IS. I JUST DONT DRAIN MUCH I GUESS.
MY BACK IS FINE AS LONG AS I AM RECLINED BUT AS SOON AS I GET UP OUT OF MY CHAIR TO DO MY BATHROOM AND LAP (WALK AROUND INSIDE HOUSE FOR A MINUTE OR TWO) IT KILLS AND THROBS. IT REALLY HURTS BAD. IF I BEND OVER LIKE THE SIDE OF THE BED AND REST MY HEAD ON THE BED IT FEELS MUCH BETTER. RALSTON TOLD ME NOT TO STAND UP STRAIGHT BUT TO STAY HUNCHED OVER AND NOT TO RUSH BEING UPRIGHT TO KEEP PRESSURE OFF INCISIONS SO THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING. I FEEL THE TINGLY SENSATION ON MY TUMMY, SOME BRIEF BURNING UP THE CENTER OF MY ABS AND SLIGHT DISCOMFORT ABOVE MY LEFT AND RIGHT HIP WHICH MUST BE RIGHT WHERE THE INCISION IS.
DRANK OVER A GALLON OF WATER TODAY. TRYING TO HYDRATE WELL AND EAT WELL FOR HEALING. ANYTHING NATURAL, UN PROCESSED AND HEALTHY I AM EATING WHEN HUNGRY. I DID HAVE A FEW COOKIES A FRIEND AND MY AUNT BROUGHT OVER TODAY AND THEY WERE YUMMMMMMY! AUNT ALSO BROUGHT OVER POT ROAST FOR DINNER TONIGHT AND A HAWAIIAN CHICKEN DINNER FOR TOMORROW--THAT WAS SO NICE AND UNEXPECTED BUT I AM GRATEFUL!!
HUBBY IS BEING MUCH MORE HELPFUL AND HAPPY ABOUT IT TODAY. I AM GRATEFUL HE IS SUPPORTIVE AND HELPS AS MUCH AS HE DOES.
DAD STOPPED BY YESTERDAY AND IS RELIEVED I AM ALIVE AND I AM UNDER DIRECT ORDER TO NEVER HAVE ELECTIVE SURGERY AGAIN. LOL SILLY DAD. JUST GLAD HE IS BACK TO BEING MY BUDDY AND NOT FEISTY WITH ME STILL! GONNA WATCH MORE GREYS ANATOMY AND THEN TURN INTO BED. GOODNIGHT REAL SISTERS.KEEP HEALING. PRAYING FOR ALL OF US :) XOX

I have more to update but i have to get this off my chest. ..
OMGOSH I smell like a $$! The nurse told me day 5 take out my belly button plug and any longer than that and I will stink to high heaven. My nurse friend is coming at 11 today and it can't get here soon enough I can hardly stand my own smell. And I have been washing my face, wiping my arms, reapplying deodorant, wiping with those feminine chotch wipes, bruushing my haor and teeth twice a day, my hubby has even shaved my legs!!! I've put yummy.lotion on daily....
And I freaking stink!!!
Ugh it's making me nauseas

Can't wait for my nurse to.come over 15 mins til I peek at my tummy!!!

I have a big update xoming.
But right now I'm laughing at Greys anatomy. .. Derek and Meredith has their baby and Derek left to get milk. He walks in house 90 minutes later and he tells her he thinks he closed his eyes in the parking lot on accident.
Lmbo I remember how tired I was with new baby!!! And I'm still kinda laughing cuz my hubby keeps telling me he is tired and he says in a sarcastic annoyed voice "sure I'll do that...how about I do every thing for everyone" Omg I can't stop laughing and it hurts!!!! Welcome to my world bro!!!

So Saturday I wasn't feeling the blues people talk about. But I was feeling pissed off. Not in pain, but really uncomfortable....and stinky. Something about the smell was just really getting to me. I read all these other people taking showers with their drains in and I want a shower so bad!
I kept up on my pain meds yesterday every 4 hours, but decided not to wake myself up for them in the middle of the night. I did ok, just woke up with burning at the incision but it was worth getting the extra sleep and the pain wasn't hard to get on top of or anything so I think that will be where I wean myself off at is night time. I want to stay down, low, in bed resting as much as I can because my hubby heads back to work Friday..that gives me 5 days of just worrying about ME and not so much the kids or him. Monday I head back to work for a few hours so again I just want to eat well, rest a lot, and stay hydrated to hurry and facilitate my healing process as best I can.
My back is definitly the most painful thing I got going on. I find that I can be up for a good 10 minutes at a time walking hunched over--but my back is what puts me back into bed. It feels really good to bend at the hips and put my arms and forehead on the bed--my husband is toooo tempted to sneak some loving when I do it though so I have to be careful to do it when he is busy watching tv in the other room. LOL. Just kidding, I love that he thinks I am hot sexy and wants to have sex with me all the freaking time after 10 years of being together. I am holding him off atleast another few days though because once I start I wont be able to take it away hahahaha. Sorry that might offend some people--but we have a very active sex life so it is what it is for us :)
Slept on my recliner couch last night instead of recliner in my room and it felt a little more comfy... The recliner rocks a bit when I move in it and it makes me feel off balance or somethign I can't quite explain so I like the couch that doesn't move at all.
Downloaded a free week of hulu plus yesterday so I can watch season 10 greys anatomy and I am glad I did that because its keeping me busy.

Hubby and kids went to church and my nurse and friend Jeneale came over to check on me. Nurse undid my stinky garment. She said my incision looks awesome! So low and very "clean" I had to agree in comparison to some of the pix I have seen on here so I am pleased witt that. My stretch marks are still above my belly button but i just get so teary eyed looking at my stomach, even though it was looking down at it, i didn't stand up at all I just layed there while she did the belly button thing (See pictures two posts up) I Love those stretch marks. I don't mind them at all. The are my mommy warrior stripes. I just can't thank the Lord enough for letting them be TIGHT instead of just sagging there on my body. So grateful for modern medicine and that I can be rid of something I hated so much, spent so much time hating, so much energy focusing on. I feel likeo I will have so much time freed up in my mind and in my heart now that the skin is gone.
I am enjoying this rest. So glad that I am able to take this time because I constantly feel like we are running from one thing to the next and even though this was a lifethreatening elective procedure--I feel thankful for the rest it has given the whole family to get to SLOW down for a bit.
I ate a slice of pizza and a half last night. It tasted so good, but felt nasty. I read someone else say they think about eating something and how it might make their stomach look like it used to and I can so relate. I think any of us who have had surgery like this, to an extent have body image issues. Not all bad thing for sure! I know I have some, and I have been workign on them for a LONG time. If I am being honest though, as I was eating the pizza I kept thinking "this isn't worth it". I know the lacking part on my body has always been my tummy and now that I have paid the money and the price that it wont be SO lacking, I feel a little more motivated to keep it even nicer and tighter. Does that make sense to anyone? Or does it sound extrememly weird? Sometimes I DO feel a little crazy lol.
Anyway,
I see everyone taking showers and I am SO SO tempted to do it even against dr's orders. BUT they said that is how people usually pull the drains out. I am 4.5 hours away from my doctor and if I pulled them out and needed aspirations for any reason at all I'd have to go to the ER, or my regular physician in town and I am just nervous about doing anything he advised against. It would probably be fine. Id probably be fine but I am nervous so Ill wait. My drainage is such low output that I feel optimistic I will be able to remove them by Tuesday anyway. COuld be wishful thinking but I will reevaluate Tuesday anyhow.
Thats all I got. Enjoying watching tv. Laughing, which still does kinda hurt. Feeling really blessed today.
Oh and this site.
Someone else talked about it but I could nto agree more. I am actually very lucky to have several great women friends that have my back and I have their's, and I work in a gym where we train 90% women weight loss clients, and athletes--but it is common in the world to be around women who are jealous and unsupportive. I know for many this is probably the first place you have felt like you had girls "on your team! Rooting for you!" Fortunately for me I have it in other avenues in my life but that doesn't take away from my appreciation for all of you. Our comradiere, our well wishes, our understanding on what one another are going through. It's really great--and again, (I feel like a broken record..) I am just so thankful and happy for this addition to my life. Makes me better! There are so many things in the world that drag us down that the things that bring us up, help us stand taller, and more proud--they are the things that matter!!! xoxoxx sisters!!!

Apparently night time I just get pissed. I know this about myself all the time cuz I am always tired and cranky at night so I should go to bed earlier.
BUT again, I did not. All i can think about is what a crappy mom and wife I am right now sitting in my room watching Grey's Anatomy while my family does their own thing out in the living room.
My husband has said atleast 4 stupidly stupid things today that make me want to freaking freak out on him. But. I am thinking about how much of a change this is for him too---major surgery. Off two weeks at home doing everything he doesn't usually have to do (he works all the time!) and no sex when he is used to getting it ever other day. A lot is going on for him and even though I am tired, in discomfort--I WANTED THIS, and I STILL WANT THIS. And he was supportive and is trying his best.

I need to go to bed and chill thehell out and try to recoop in the living room for more of the day tomorow so I can stop feeling like such a crappy person. Who's back hurts. Who still stinks. Who's butt hurts from sitting. And my skin hurts from this binder especially where I sit on my ASS all day. I just want a fREAKING shower!!!!!!!!!!!

Tylenol PM here I come. Tomorow will be better. I know it!

This position makes my back.and tummy good. So so good. everything else is a little uncomfortable

This is the straightest I can stand up with out pulling on my incision. Back.still killing me so can't stay up too long but nurse told me to get up a little more than every 2 hrs so trying every hour for 5 minutesish.

nurse also told me it sounds like I'm doing well. Call again tomorow with drain output and color. In 24 hours I am draining less than 30 cc from both sides...color is redder in right and more redish orange in left

Shower comes TWO days after drain removal. I can do this. It'll be fine. This is nothing in the big scheme of flat tummy land :) I knew going in I would have to wait for a shower so i am sucking it up and done whining about it.
I am nauseated the past two days a lot. Nothing sounds good to eat but I'm still trying to make myself because that makes me more nauseas when I have an empty stomach. When I look down I feel scared my muscles are being lost. (Triceps mainly is what im noticing)They seem smaller already. Can't wait to start bcass again in a week. Even if it is all in my head it makes me feel like it retains muscle better so I'm going with it . Whey protein too. In a week I will have been off that for a month and I'll be honest i like to get most my nutrients from whole food sources but whey sure flavors a lot of things better for me (shakes, yogurt, oatmeal)-- and it's easy to use.
I still haven't gotten any bromeline or arnica of Montana even though my good friend highly recommends it and several girls on here are taking it. Dr said absolutely no. I dunno why? I want to take it if it'll help but then in the back of my mind I think what if it holds me back or slows my progress for some reason? I have nothing to go off at the time being because i cant see my stomach. It's probably a blessing because I'd be double thinking everything and this way I have no choice but just to be. I'm getting scared to be able to see because everyone is so discouraged by the swelling and concerned by their results that I like feeling like everything is perfectly fine cuz I don't know/can't see otherwise. I just really don't want to be disappointed I'm sad enough reading other people being disappointed (lindsay my heart is really hurting for you right now!)

Welp I'm taking my percocet every 4 hours again today and I feel better with it pain wise so I'm gonna stick with it til I need to slow it down closer to time for work. Gonna go sit (oh wait. Been sitting this whole time and my badonkadonk is killing me!!

Gonna look for a movie on netflix. wanna read but my eyes can't focus well yet. Hmm I guess I'll try it anyway someone said gone girl w@s a good book? Peace out sistas!

So my 4 year old baby of the fam was awake all night throwing up .
I feel terrible I couldn't hold him and make him feel better--he is such a good boy though didn't even cry and make us both sad just let daddy help him the best a daddy can.
This is the first time my hubby has ever cleaned up puke. Thank gosh he did everything. I am praying with all my might no no one else gets this .

Apparently my Dr is very cautious about everything which I truly appreciate, even more so that I am so far away from his office. I have still been taking my percocet s and "sneaking" a Tylenol pm at night to sleep better
Well today nurse tells me to be up for an hour or so at a time. If all goes well remove drains. wthell am i supposed to do for an hour or two? Can't bend. She tells me to p out make me on that sorta thing . I did not want to do that because I haven't taken a shower, I have drains in, ya da yada. But I did it anyway and my mom is.coming to get me and the non sick child to go to walgreens and grab a sandwich for lunch .
So makeup up, I'm actually feeling better so I call Dr to find out how to start tylenol instead of percocets. Every 4 hrs I choose tylonol

Update more later gotta run

By the way my phone keeps taking me back to the center of a different word than im actually typing which is why I have all these dang typos!!
Anyway. Put my makeup on. Feel better. Went to take 2 tyleonl.pm instead of percocet and realized each night I've been thinking I'm taking a pm one I'm actually taking a regular one.
Lol man I'm such a space cadet.

Gotta nap now. Nighnight

I got my make up on and my mom came to pick me up for Subway (omgosh that sandwich was so yummy i haven't eaten there in a while!! I started getting a little irrirtable after that just because ya know the back stiffness. Went into the drug store to get some pedialyte and me some tylenol and then stopped at the library--went in grabbed Gone Girl and that was the end of my outing. I was up and out of my comfy spot for a total of 2.5 hours and I was tired and irritable.
Came home and took an hour nap and felt much better. I keep having mixxed emotions on what to do with pain meds so I started 1 tylenol and half a percocet every 4 hours today starting this afternoon and that worked well. The only tummy pain I have is where I can feel my incision is scabbed and kinda of like "Catching" on the medical pads in there. And besides that I am having the horrific back pain.... lower to upper right behind my chest. It's real and it sucks. I also am having some pain right in the hipjoint area of my right leg. I feel like that is from my binder thingy sliding down a little bit and just I am getting stiff but I do not know for sure.
After my nap I got up for an hour this evening and folded some laundry, ate some pork tacos, and then rested again and just got up and made my own eggs right now to eat before bed.
I have been up WAYYYY more today than any day before. Feeling pretty good and encouraged that i am almost to the top of the pain in the butt recovery hill. Sleeping in recliner still, may attempt the bed tomorrow because I LOVE my bed and I miss sleeping next to my man.
I weighed myself tonight to see if I had increased in weight from yesterday (to try to measure swelling since I can't see it or feel it under my garment) and I am about .2 less than last night so I dont' think I have swelled any more today, than yesterday as I lounged all day.
I am standing up almost straight. My daughter and husband both commented that I am not walking like an old woman anymore.
Did I mention I am so hungry today? Like so hungry I keep wanting to eat and eat and eat. I am anxious to enjoy some desserts that I don't usually eat, on thanksgiving. gonna make some delicious oreo balls (2 ingredients...super easy!!!)
My little man is feeling better and has been running around like a crazy boy all afternoon. Thank gosh! I dont' know what the heck that was all about but I am just praying that no one else gets it so we can spend thanksgiving with our families (orrr maybe not me,,, lol I am such a homebody in my old age!!)
Anywho. I think all is well. Pretty sure my drains are coming out tomorrow because I still drained less than 10cc's every 8 hours and my drainage is getting lighter and lighter (in red color I mean).
I did a little brief research on the bromeline and arnica of montana. Dr says not to take it, from what I read on here there are more dr's who say no than say yes...I am curious if anyone loves it or hates it?!

Please pray they let me take my drains out. I have been in this garment now 7 days and 12 hours. No shower, I just want it off and a clean one on even though I have to wait a couple days after still to shower I just cant stand the idea of having pee and poo driblets on my garment.

Gonna go to bed so morning comes fast. Happy healing sisters. Be happy. Love yourself. We all deserve to be loved and there are so many people who try to make us sad or feel bad in the world--try and be kind and happy to yourself. YOU are beautiful!!! xoxx

Ok today is a really great day. All of the family slept til 8 am. WOOHOOO! Even though I stayed up late, it still felt amazing to sleep in. I was scared as crap to get up because I hadn't taken any pain meds since 11 last night but it worked out! I was a little":tight" (back hurt, legs move more slowly, incision scabs pull a little--but I wanted to get up because my BUTT hurt so bad. It seriously is ridonkulas how bad your butt starts to hurt from sitting. My butt muscles and bones hurt but my skin hurts too. It is weird.) as I got going--took a pain pill cuz hubby wasn't awake to cut it in half, emptied my drains (still less than 10ccs on both sides the last 8 hour perid and color is changing to more orangey than red), brushed teeth, washed face and grabbed a banana.
I spoke with Becky, Dr Ralstons nurse at 915 and they said drains can come out. It was music to my ears!!!!!!!! My nurse friend is coming over around lunch time to take them out. In the mean time, I had hubs wash my hair-- FELT AMAZING! Should have attempted that earlier because it really makes a big difference. I filled the sink with water and shaved my arms and my arm pits (that sh!t was whacked. Those were some really hairy arm pits in 8 days time Ill tell ya!!!)
Im resting for a little bit updating real self and checking in with everyone and then Ill get up and do my hair and my make up because it really did make me feel happier and prettier yesterday so I might as well continue with it.
Both my kiddos are home with me while my man went to workout for an hour or so. Boy is playing kindle and princess is "designing" what decorations we will need to make on Friday for our front window, since thanksgiving will be over and Christmas will be coming.
I can't stop being hungry!! I am getting annoyed because i don't want to eat a butt load of food as I am sitting around all the time--and we are out of greek yogurt (one of my staples), and I cant have protein shakes still so it is very inconvenient for me to be so freaking hungry. Popcorn. May try that.

Happy healing sisters

Post later pix now.

So I was feeling like a freaking sex slave after that shower. Seriously. Felt amazing. My nurse took out my drains (felt kinda weird but didn't hurt at all), and she was really excited about how well my incision turned out. I told her I couldn't shower until Friday, but I was gonna have my hubby shave and wash my lower body (He washed my hair in the sink earlier and I almost had a big "O" it felt sooooo gooood. I have definitly been taking advantage of my ability to shower daily!!!) but she kinda rolled her eyes and said go ahead and shower just wrap in seran wrap. My hubby was wrapping me up but I just felt a little nervous about it, didn't want complications so I let him wrap me and then I didn't actually submerge myself but let the water hit my upper body a bit, then focused on my lower. Ahhhh it felt awesome. Huney bunny dried me all down (he was getting side tracked freaking punk!!!) and put yummy lotion on and I finally, after 8 days--smell a-freaking-mazing.
Hubby is whigged out by my belly button. He made me turn around while he put my lotion on cuz he couldn't look. He is 6'5 235 lbs of hot muscle, a hunter, a police officer, he is a MANS MAN--but my incision and belly button make him squirm like a school girl!! I can't help but laugh.He calls me frankenbelly.

He did turn and say "wow babe. I am so glad you are happy. You really do look so much better." (that was a compliment from him and I want to punch him in the face for the "so much better" part but he meant well so I am going to not be such a girl and read into his unthought-through comments.

Anyway. He helped me get in my CLEAN binder thingy. It feels tighter. I dunno if its a smaller one but holy crap he had to squeeze me into this sucker. lOL All felt well, then he left to pick up some meat to make tacos at home and let the kids play at the park. I planned on napping but ......

instead, I started having this stupid ridiculous burning below the incision. It feels like it is my incision but it is actually the skin. I undid my binder, alone, and examined. layed back, sat back, felt, looked...it is the skin. As I rub it I can feel it burning kinda? Not fire burning but fire stinging? I don't know how to explain. Since my incision didn't get wet or soap in it, I am just confused.

Now I have ice packs on my incision line, over my garment. Never ice on skin they say cuz you can burn yourself since you are numb. I took half a pain pill half hour earlier than I should've it was hurting so bad. But I feel good now. Hubby made yummy authentic tacos from the local mexican market and now I am browsing the internet chillaxing.

Thats day 8.
Day 9 is thanksgiving.... need to decide my plans and how ambitious I feel. Happy healing sisters

I forgot to talk about my pictures.

I LOVE them. I was so nervous to not love them. I saw my vajay-jay when I sat down to pee. It was like I was in heaven, but I wasn't. Just in my own little small bathroom, stinky, and 8 days post surgery.

Man I am grateful. I have been so blessed and I could not be happier with what I look like today. There are always room for improvements, I will not ever be perfect, but to be honest-- I have NEVER felt so happy about my body as I did today. (Sucks it has to hurt like a mofo to have gotten me here.) But I feel like this is what I needed to turn that corner in my crazy town mind.

Thank the Lord!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I slept in my bed with my hubby for about 4 hours. I can't do my side yet (dang!! I love side sleeping!!) so I layed on my back, two pillows under my head and two under my knees. I woke up at 2:30 and I just couldn't handle not being able to move at all so I scooted out of bed (grabbed the head board and dug legs into the bed to move me over, trying not to use my abs) and got in the recliner and slept well til 8. Woke up without having anything for pain since 11 and I am always nervous to do it, as the burning flares up (now that I think of it I realize I have had this since the beginning I was just so bothered by the back pain that I didn't articulate it) right in those first steps but my body warms up and it isn't so bad. Pain is a 6 out of 10 for those first steps and then after 5 minutes, Id say its a level 2.
Back pain is so much better! I am almost all the way upright so that must be why. I am still not having any stomach pain. I am just having that firey burning feeling below the incicison, and both my hip flexors flair up quite a bit--with a sharp, but dull pain in the right one especially the past two days. This scares me as I have always had hip flexor issues I just pray that it will heal with the rest of me over the next 7 weeks.
I got all made up (hair and makeup) and felt really cute so i wanted to dress cute. Put on skinny jeans. I could put them on and button them but they were just too tight over the garment, if I were standing 100% of the time they would have been fine but the pressure of sitting would have hurt so I made hubby pull em off (lol he hates skinny jeans!) and put on my go to--sweats!! YAY. I am a personal trainer and I wear sweats all the FREAKING TIME! It is nice to feel cute in normal clothes ya know, once or twice a week....but today wasn't the day to push it. I was however, happy I could get them on and up and buttoned as I know a lot of people have struggled with that from the swelling.
I was up and out of my "Den" from 8-2. I sat a few times at my dads as we celebrated thanksgiving but I tried to be up and moving as my work day will be close to that amount of time come this Monday. All was fine and well, but that right hip flexor/skin issue is bothering me and brings my pain level right up to about a 9 and makes me very very pissed. Pain makes me angry. Which is stupid because I knew I'd be in pain for this sh!t but it still just makes my skin crawl because I feel so good (inside) but then that pain is quite debilitating. I think the skin issue or fiery sensation is being caused from that tape holding my incision together. Like the skin is pinched or chapped and you can bet your bottom dollar I will be investigating that futther tomorow when I enjoy my first full on, totally naked, no seran wrap shower. Where I wash my hair in there and everything!!! (P.S. Is that the dry shampoo I have been using that is giving me flakey looking dandruff in my hair?!!? Thats nasty!!!) Dry shampoo is officialy retired tomorow.
Guess what else I am attempting tomorow? You don't know this about me but I know nothing about hair, styling, makeup, or crafts. I am like a moron with it. It's a foreign language to me. So I am going to go to the beauty supply store, but 4N hair color and attempt to dye my own hair. Hubby says he will help lol this oughtta be fun!!! I told him I would try it, because I don't have high or low lights in, just all my nbatural color and it will save us money (and now that I have about 6300 to pay off from my girls weekend/tummy tuck...I need to start trying to cut back even more) I warned him if it sucks I have to have it fixed though. (WHich will cost a butt load so I am praying!! I have never attempted this sorta thing before!!)
IN other news,
I have nothing. My family dropped me off and headed to the second thanksgiving -- I wanted to go and see everyone, especially my cousins new baby, but my body told me to "go home and sit your a$$ in your recliner den"
So I did.
Finished a book -- I tried the Gone Girl, but I gave up its too weird and twisted. I like happy sappy stuff, so I couldn't make it. I read some cop romance that was really good and I started it yesterday and finished today, lol...
Now just gonna browse and check up on all my real self sisters. Wishing you gratitude and blessings on this thanksgiving.
xox

I am sleepy x10 but I know how much it helpes me reading other peoples day by days so Ill update a bit before I hit they hay(still in reclinier...could probably do bed now but I am trying really hard not to change too much too quickly.
Today was my first day where I only took .5 a percocet. Woke up feeling really well, not so much being hunched over and no burning pain when I got up so I thought today would be a good day to try and just use Tylenol.
my In laws came to take my kids to a movie so I got brave after reading about bossladee going to starbucks after surgery, and decided I would brave driving to the supply store to get my own dye. I could've waited for my hubs on his day off Tuesday, or asked someone but I just didn't want to send someone since I didn't really know what I wanted. The sales person helped me a ton and I made it home with out too much tiredness or soreness.
Rested til gets got home.
Then we did some decoration making for xmas, rested and watched a movie, got up and cleaned for 15 miutes (I did loading dishes and that was ok, wiped door handles and light switches and picked up...did fine!) My 6 year old had her first time vaccumming today and she was so excited to help--did a good job too so I now have an official chore for her. ha! Poor girl didn't realize being so helpful would end up biting you in the booty.Then we read books, daddy came home dinner (crock pot freezer meal I had made before surgery...chicken burrito/enchiladas that turned out yummy.) Kids to bed. Hair colored (hubs did it!) Shower, shave legs (first shower yayyyy felt good) and here I sit.
Everything just takes so much longer and wears me out quicker so I take breaks when I need them. Tired of not being able to have a clean picked up house though htats for sure...hubby is back at work and I can only ask so much of him.
tummy looks good. swelling was down today although as soon as i take binder off within minutes i notice it coming back.
hip pain only happened today for a couple minutes when it was time for my tylenol and i was picking up my taco salad.
good day. hair turned out well. feeling encouraged about recovery. i have a 4 hour day at work (first day back) monday--I feel ready. Itll be good
Night night sisters

OK so after I signed off last night, here I lay in my recliner and my right foot kept doing the weirdest thing. I can't explain it. Like I needed someone to grab it and rub it really hard (the bottom part) it was just really uncomfortable and annoying. Then all a sudden my hands kept doing it. I would open and close them, shake the shit out of both hands. It was like I needed a giant freaking stretch to my whole body it would feel good when I would do it, but then almost immediately after stopping--the eeary sensation just came right back. And Id start shaking my hands again like a freaking lunatic. (its super funny right now but last night it was NOT!)
Weirdest damn thing ever. I layed here for about 30 mintues and I really thought I was starting to lose my damn mind. Like going crazy for real girls I didn't know what the hell was going on. So I got up took a whole percocet so I would hopefully fall asleep and the craziness would stop. Thank gosh it did.
What the hell?!
Now that I am thinking about it, thats the least amount of percocet I have taken, maybe I was having freaking withdrawls or something??? I am laughing but it is really weird!!! I don't drink alcohol, never smoked or did ANY drugs so my system is probably not used to having the narcotics (that is what they are called right?) maybe it liked it. I don't know what the crap.
Anyway. I woke up from one of my night sweat episodes (that is very common for me, 5 of the 7 nights I wake up drenched in sweat usually but I have noticed that I haven't done it all since surgery-- and i haven't taken any night time baths or showers, which I usually do--so maybe that IS why I have night sweats?)
I hate it though cuz I get so cold but it is too much of a pain to get up and change (now and even before surgery it was so common I just learned to live with it) I have had all my hormones tested and all that--everything is normal I think I just sweat like a freak for some reason (Sure do when I am working out)
Welp. Thats it. Thought you should know about night 10s crazy episode.
Almost through day 11 so I will update that tonight. Gonna rest now.

Day 11 started early. At 630 am. I woke up panicked my husband was late for his shift and so I was like holding myself up in the chair with my arms "babe, babe, BABE!" only to wake up my 4 year old who apparently snuck into our bed, and my hubby apparently had snuck out of our bed at 4 am. So that, was kinda funny but kinda sucky because of course my boy says "Mammm, I hungggggy. ." Tried to ignore him and go back to sleep but then I kept having to move and then I had to pee and it was hopeless.
We got up.
Pain was fine, just the initial burning and stiffness that is there for the first 5 minutes and then I was ok. No percocet, just some tylenol.
I go to eat oatmeal, and there is none. There is nothing to eat in our whole dang house! Hubby is at work (12 hour shifts, miniumum next 4 days) so he is not going to be able to get to the store. So I decide Ill try Walmart at 730 am, that early on a Saturday should be able to get in and out and just grab a few things. We made it. It wasn't a comfortable shopping experience--but my 6 year old pushed my cart for me, we were able to grab about 80$ and 6 bags worth of breakfast lunch and snack stuff (dinners are still covered from the frozen ones i had made) and left. I felt a little sad that my mom was working, (called dad, their divoriced FYI. Asked if he wanted to go to winco, no he didn't was taking wife to buy xmas tree....then he text me later and said he could grab stuff for me, but at that point already determined I "was fine") which left me absolutly no one I felt comfortable calling to help me that lived close enough to not feel like a huge inconvenience. Which is kinda sad, when you consider I know almost all my neighbors and I really do have a lot of friends (people I talk to and see often I guess is a better word). But I don't really like to ask for help, and no one has really been checking on me, so there wasn't really anyone to call on. I have been thinking about this for a few days. I feel like I put a lot of time and energy into caring and loving my coworkers and friends and then I have actually been surprised that very few have been here (Even though it was an ELECTIVE surgery, and maybe I really don't deserve the help) to even check on me or sent texts or emails to see how I am. I don't know. I guess I feel a little lonely in my "real world" this past two weeks. My mom has been here, and her and I clash quite a bit but it has been kinda a wake up call that I need to chill my jets and not be so hard on her--cuz she IS here when I need someone. My dad too, usually. And hubbys two aunts and uncles but I guess it just isn't the same as these "friends" I thought would be here to help or atleast offer encouragement. (BEcause they were so excited for me to have this done!)

I don't mean to be whiney because the girls who took me to surgery HAVE and were amazing--theyre' just out of town right now. So maybe I should just shut up.
Anyway. Moving on.
I have like a heat rash in my butt crack. The top part where the garment kinda covers. Yah, its pretty annoying. I have been puting hydrocortisone on it. My hubby discovered it last night as he was zipping me up (OMG it is a good thing he has big muscles because other wise there is no way I could get myself up into that teeeny tiny thing!?!? GOOD Heavens!!!) that was embarrassing, :"babe, bend over let me see something" me-- "No, back up offf my business, I told you you aren't getting any tonight!" "Teri, I just want to see something you have red bumps." Me "WHHHATTT!? What is it?!?!"

We think heat rash. This garment is so dang tight. Holy hannah, And it does cover my butt. And I did wake up in a sweat pool this morning. Ugh. Sick I felt sticky and nasty all day and couldn't't shower til he got home.
I stand up pretty straight during the day, almost 95% I would say. But when I get in the shower without my garment on...I am barely getting to 85%. Isn't that weird? I don't know why that would be.

As soon as garment comes off, I look at tummy. Can't believe how good it looks. Then I touch it, I feel fluid under the skin...and I start to worry. Is it seroma? Is that just normal swelling? How do I know? What should I do? Nurse on phone when I took drains out said "seroma will look like a water bed, you push one side and the other side comes up" But did she mean the complete opposite side of my tummy? Or did she mean just right next to my fingers...cuz right next to my fingers it does come up a little bit, but isn't that because I am pushing in on swelling??? Wish I had something else swollen on SOMEONE else (NOT IN MY FAMILY GOD PLEASE NOT IN MY FAMILY!!!) to feel so I could see what it looks like on them when I push in on their swelling. Does that make sense? Not on a tummy because I want to see if my tummy is normal swelling like, say a swollen ankle--or if it is different.
I dont' know if any of that makes sense besides I might be a hypochondriac.

Back pain is pretty bad today. I rested most of the day after walmart. Now I am going to read the most hilarious book ever, that I do not recommend you read unless you are more than 10 days post op (cuz it doesn't hurt to laugh for me anymore)
Its by Robin O'Bryant and it is called Ketchup is a Vegetable and other lies moms tell themselves.
LOL funny. Its like a compilation of essays kinda broken into chapters--about being a mom.. if you are planning to become pregnant you wont think it is funny, if you don't have kids wont think it is funny and if you are pregnant...I dunno maybe you will. But those of us who are done with babies--this is DEFINITELY funny. One funny part that had me laughing out loud was this:
talking about planning out your delivery and those picture perfect movie scenes they lie to us on tv about "First off I would like to say that if you are skinny AND pregnant, you do not deserve an epidural; in fact any such woman deserves hemorrhoids." It isn't as funny as I retype it but IT WAS HILARIOUS earlier today. Anyway, lots of funny stuff in it but don't say I didn't warn you.

I guess thats it. Day 11. Not bad at all. Back pain. heat rash. Stomach looks afreakingmazing, I could be dying of a hematoma though because I don't know if I am too swollen. Gave hubby some lovin' after he came home and ate my dinner of left overs, then cleaned the VERY MESSY kitchen, and put kids to bed. GOSH I LOVE HIM AND HEb SO DESERVED THAT SEX my friends. :) xox sisters..heal well...sweet dreams (Ps in case you were wondering, I gave him sex..and by gave him I mean I let him do it from behind with me rested on the bed so I didn't get hurt I think 7 days post op? 7 or 8 days. Today was the first day I actually thought about wanting to have sex...but then the idea of getting on top and moving myself totally turned that want inside out cuz I KNOW that would hurt like a MOFO still.)

I go back and read what people have commented in response to my comments, and how they help me as soon as I am worried about something and I am literally crying. I am not an emotional person but honestly, the support of this site has been such a blessing. It is hard to go through elective surgery, even though we wanted THIS. It is still hard. No one gets it but us, and I am truly grateful for everyones loving advice and support. I would be SO ALONE and SAD right now if it weren't for everyone here (on my page, on YOUR pages, in the forum. Thank you ladies so much!

AND I am really thankful I bought the granny panties now. My garment is so tight, and I am off the pain meds so I guess I notice more but my vagina lips stick out the bottom of the garment and it feels weird so I am glad I have these huge .97$ size XL walmart undies to cover my vagina.
lol, that is all

I just had the LONGEST most entertaining post typed and was getting ready to post and the damn thing erased. OH I AM SO ANNOYED RIGHT NOW!!! OMGosh


I cant even try to recap it I am too pissed right now!!! Ill have to wait til tomorow. Pain is good. ONly took tylenol twice today.... bed early, work tomorow.

Damn that irritates me.

Gonna try my bed tonight.

Peace out sisters. AND SCREW YOU COMPUTER WHO ATE MY UPDATE!!!

happy healing :) xox

Yesterday was really a good day. I had little pain and only took tylenol. I attempted to sleep in my bed and even feel asleep propped up on a pillow on my side for an hour but had to get out because I just can't move. I am like a turtle on my back and so I have to stay more upright so I can adjust myself. That being said, i think I have sinus issues from laying flat because before surgery I kept worrying I was getting sick... and then since surgery everything has been perfectly fine. Well, last night after that hour I woke up stuffy. I remember reading somewhere if that happens to you to put bricks under your headboard and it should help. I will see if I can talk my hubby into trying that in a couple weeks. I am maxed out on favors right now I think :)

My mom babysat my kids over night so I would just have to get myself ready and to work by 8 and not worry about dropping them off at her house first. I was really really grateful that made my morning much less chaotic and stressful.

I only had 2 clients in a row so 2 hours, then a break where I went to my moms close by the gym and iced my tummy and back then went back for one more hour a little later. I really felt pretty dang good. My clients are all very sweet and supportive and were all totally fine with moving everything and picking up/racking weights. I am glad I have good relationships with all of them, because I can see how that would be annoying to be paying a trainer to train you but still having to rerack all your own crap.

Everyone was happy to see me and wanted to hear about my recovery (Even though they didn't care so much, it didn't seem when I was actually recovering) but it made me feel really good they all were happy to see me and of course very complimentary. I did feel really cute because for the first time I wore form fitting workout clothes to workout in when I usually wear a loose shirt on my stomach. Felt good to not keep looking in the mirror to make sure my shirt was situated just right so that I wouldn't look fat. CUZ I DONT LOOK FAT!! YAY!! I seriously looked in the mirror probably 4 times is all today, cuz I know I look good!! (I know that sounds so vain but I was so so horribly self conscious before that I would constantly be checking to be sure my shirt wasn't bunched or tucked in wrong or coming up or whatever. I am really so grateful.

I spoke with Dr Ralstons office today, this lady, I think is LIsa and she is awesome! I love her so much she is the nicest little lady and is so happy to hear from me and happy I am doing well. She said my nurse can take my 8 stitches out of my belly button tomorrow and then just keep wearing the garment for 4 more weeks at least. I asked about a new one, and she didn't blame me for hating this one but did say that I have to be able to wear it inside out to be sure the seams aren't on my actual tummy. I don't know...I don't really want to spend money on that--Id rather on a new cute workout tank top!! So I am probably gonna just keep on with this one piece, open crotched weird thing that makes me feel really safe--and keep putting my granny panties on top. LOL. It's super hot in case you were wondering.

I am home now and don't hurt or anything (took ibuprofen one day before they told me I could, and then a dose of tylenol cuz I was scared but that is it for pain today). Feeeling really tired but I am gonna try and hold off on a nap so I can go to bed early when my kids do.

Super happy with my results today. I am just really emotional. Everything makes me cry. Leaving my kids last night with my mom, holding my cousins brand new 7 lb baby today (sitting down of course), my friend had her baby they had been trying for for 4 years, and now I want to cry because the christmas parade is Saturday and I really wanted to take my kids, but my work Christmas party is also the same time and I don't want to miss that either cuz I know it will be a lot of fun too. I am having major guilt issues right now.

That's it. Happy healing sisters. Love to you all!

Oops I forgot to take a picture.

My nurse came and took my bellybutton stitches out tonight instead of in the morning, and I am glad she did because one was a little hard to get out and anymore healing would have made it even harder.

I had myself convinced I had seroma until she got here so I am really glad she came tonight. She said no way. My stomach looks great and its just the normal swelling that comes with major surgery. Made me feel really good to hear it from her.

All that is left is for my tape to fall off my incision and then I call dr again and find out about scar treatment. YAY for time flying!!

good night sisters

I have a break at work right now so thought I'd update you on the past couple days.
Day 14 was really good. I was feeling pretty much my old self minus some discomfort. Ran several errands with the family and only had to stop to rest a few times at home as we were in and out all day. I got in bed for a few minutes just to spoon with my hubby but it is still too hard for me to move about to get resituated so I slept in recliner instead. Have slept really well all but one night since surgery.

Today is day 15 I rested all morning watched tv, and played "babysitter gramma" while my kids played in the morning til time for work. Just have 3 clients again tonight so Ill be home around 830 pm, and I will ice, and hit the hay early again. I did today, for the first time, get out of my binder--shower and shave my legs --and get back into my binder. All ALONE. YAY! My swelling must be down a bit that I can do that because those first 10-13 days there was no way I could get back in that sucker without some serious help. :)
My belly button looks completely different now that my stitches are out. I was sorta used to the look of it before so I think its weird now but when I see a picture of it it looks good I guess. Ill upload some pics tomorrow.

15 days in. Super sick of sitting around but no where near ready to even try and push dr's orders to do anything. So I am resting and reading and enjoying some down time that is very new to me. :)

Someone asked me if I was having any swelling and I know I can feel it, but I am also down a few pounds from surgery so I thought I would attempt my normal comfy jeans tonight and see if I was in fact swollen. Plus, for me, My stomach bothered me the most IN clothes as oppose to out of them. So I was hoping to see a flat stomach with my pants buttoned.

I was swollen. I did have a flat stomach, but I couldn't button my pants. Atleast an inch between button and button. I guess its a good thing I am a personal trainer, and stay home with my kids besides that or else I would honestly have nothing to wear besides leggings. I have no fat pants. I wish I did though cuz I love loose pants, but I got rid of everything as I lost weight starting in 2010. Its funny because at my lowest weight, before I lifted weights-- but just did running I was 127 lbs. I am now 140--and I wear the same pants. That's weird huh? Its the muscle. Takes up less space on a frame.

Anyway. I noticed a few girls talk about not doing profiles because of their "Real jobs" I actually didn't think so much of that, because my real job success is centered on me being real, raw, and out there for people to see. As a trainer who has lost the weight, who has come to love clean food when I used to FREQUENT McDonalds and others of the like. So this is marketing for me I guess in a way still, BUT--I had thought about weird internet stalkers. Kinda does weird me out now that I think of it that there are a lot of half naked pictures of me on this site that anyone can look at. Yah, thats a little of a rain storm on the parade.

Anywho. I had to work today again just for 3 hours. I had a lot of cancellations this week with people having sick kids or being sick themselves. I am glad they cancelled though it gave me the opportunity to "ease" back into it and also I don't want to get sick :) Been washing my hands like crazy!

Thanks for all the compliments on my results. I appreciate the support here so much. I was only in those red bra and undies for a matter of 20 minutes though, I am still in my long gurdle binder thingy 24 hours a day except when I shower.(and take quick pics after) I am trying not to take a zillion pictures because I forget when I took what and then I over think it. I look a million times better than I did and I am so thankful.

I only took 1 ibuprofin today and that's it. My pain is nearly gone and again to remind everyone who is getting ready for surgery or behind me--about 5% of my need for pain medications has come from my incision or stomach--95% has been from the ridiculous back pain that is caused from the hunching. I am a very strong girl. I deadlift, I can do 8 overhand pullups with my own body weight. I LIFT heavy crap, I thought I would skip over that back pain because I have in fact, strengthened my back like a bad a$$ motha--BUT I was wrong. It didn't matter. The back pain was brutal and it made me feel horrified to think of the people that walk among us with chronic back pain. It must be so draining to be in pain like that all the time.

Id prolly kill someone If I dealt with that.

A ton of people from my gym are asking me how I am...what I think...do I recommend it...

This is my honest opinion from ME, and where I stand in my life. From my experiences--I couldn't go an entire hour--ever without thinking about the hate I had for my stomach. Ever. It was always on my mind. I was always embarrassed by it, I was always trying to think of the next exercise I could try or eat cleaner or hide under a black outfit to hide it. I was humiliated by it and I hated it so much I could barely see straight. If that describes you--I say do it. If you are only mildly aware of your stomach skin. If you can put on clothes and not be self conscious--I can't honestly say to do it. It hurts. You put your entire life on hold. You spend a large amount of money. There are so many risks. So many people are still dissatisfied after their surgery. There are some ugly scars out there. So many people move on to the next thing to "fix."

If you can ignore it and go about your life, I would.

If you can't go about your normal life and enjoy normal things with people, have a meal "off plan" cuz you know your stomach will be bigger in the morning--if you can't stop thinking about your stomach long enough to have a conversation with anyone about any of their "problem areas" then schedule it today. I can't tell YOU or YOU or YOU how happy I am to be done with this self hating portion of my life. I am a bad ass trainer, I am a bad ass athlete but that skin held me so far back that I couldn't even pull my own head out of my own ass. I wish I had done it immediately after, or very soon after I had kids if I am 100% honest. And I will be paying on this debt for at least a year. And I will smile everytime I write that check. Smile with my whole heart, I will.

I am still in my recliner by the way. I will stay here atleast another 2 nights before I attempt the bed again.

And I might attempt some arm lifting next week. One body part every other day just a few different exercises with very light weight. We will see. But I feel good. Every day is just a little better than the one before it. It's been true for me so far. Knock on wood it keeps coming.

:) you may now call me fitandflat

Internet stalking just freaked me out, haha I am a weirdo but whatevs

Woohoo

I could button them. That was all. They are right on my incision and they were just barely buttoned. I will be wearing sweats for the foreseeable future :) But it was good to know I could button them

Day 19 was the day I did the deed girls. I had the big "o" and it has been so long it seems like, it was the most amazing one Ive ever had. But you don't want to hear about that. You want to hear about how I managed.
So I have been having sex since a few days post op. I gave my hubby a little loving (not sex) before I actually turned around and leaned over the bed to let him have his way with me. :) We have a lot of sex at our house...typically at least 4 times a week (unless he is being a large pain in the butt!) so I was a little worried when I thought I'd need to wait 4 weeks. I felt up to it though before, and when I did--I decided to give it a try. He is very patient and listens very closely to cues so if something hurt or anything he would stop or slow down or whatever. It was never an issue though where he had to stop.
Anyway I have been in the mood for a week I guess, but was too scared to try. He kept wanting to do "other things" but I am a prude believe it or not, so I always say no. But somehow he tricked me and got me right where he wanted me tonight and we ended up having the real shabang. I got on top (my favorite and usually my only orgasm position) and we just went slow and he was very sweet. I felt amazing because my skin wasn't draggin around or making farting noises against his washboard stomach. So it made me even more in the mood I guess you would say. Plus I got to work with him tonight and I can NOT even tell you how freaking sexy that man is in his uniform.
Wow, I get so sidetracked so easily.
Anyway. I thought Id wear my garment to keep me more secure but I had on cute panties to try to seduce him and then when we were gonna do it--the garment was still a little damp in the dryer so I thought I'd try it without.
Nothing hurt. It didn't hurt at all my stomach or my back. I just listened to my body, and he is pretty in tune with my body....
and the magic happened.
wow. I really want yall to know I don't talk about this detailed of my sex life EVER, but It would have helped me to read it and know before hand so I am taking one for the team here :)
Day 18 was a gooooood day sisters!!
Happy healing, and may you have good sex soon! xoxx

Today was Sunday and my first day back at church. I am LDS so our services are three hours long and I teach 11 and 12 year old girls for one of those hours so going sooner than today wouldn't have worked.
My back is really acting up today, and the only reason I can think was sitting so long. i mean, I do get up every hour and move but I think just sitting in those chairs maybe was too much for me just yet. I have been resting in my recliner most the evening, getting up to do leftover dishes, rest. make dinner, rest. do dishes again, rest. Now I just painted my nails and am resting while the hubster puts the kiddos to bed and waiting for Revenge in 30 minutes! I think it is the finale tonight!! Can't wait!

I slept in bed all night last night and was able to move from back, to side to other side, when I woke up and needed to readjust. It was not easy and I really had to think about what I did before I moved but I made it through until 5 am when my man woke up for work, so I slid back into my recliner and slept better for another two hours.

Church was really good. I am glad I went, even though I think my back is acting up from it. It was nice to take the sacrament and hear the talks about keeping Christ in Christmas. I taught a lesson on the Salt Lake temple and chastity. Yah, that was cray-cray. Chastity to very innocent 11 and 12 year olds I think I was sweating as to be so careful to teach what was necessary without wanting to put extra in their minds. And we all know my hubby and I do it like rabid rabbits so that was intense for me :) haha. I love those girls though they are so cute and cool, I hope my daughter grows up just like them.

I tweezed my eye brows yesterday. Yah, that had me sneezing about 6 times and even though it doesn't hurt like it used to--it still doesn't feel good and I still need to brace myself. I guess my eyebrows shall remain in need of a good wax job, just like my vajayjay does also.

I still have the surgical tape over my incision. I wish that would come off but I have read a lot of you say it is supposed to fall off right? Do you start scar treatment right after the tape comes off or not until the incision is completely healed?

The thought has crossed my mind to start lifting some upper body stuff this week. Keep it really light and see how I feel. Tuesday will be 3 weeks post op. I don't know I am just scared I don't want to take away from my healing. I guess that is my sign, I will wait another week and reevaluate. I probably wouldn't be scared if I were ready huh?

Gonna try sleeping in bed again tonight. I really want to clean up my little "den corner," get rid of the recliner, put away the tv tray and bring my night stand back in to my room so it can all look normal and organized again. Better wait cuz I am scared to do that too hahah.

The theme of the night is, I am a big chicken and nothing new is going down until I am not afraid any longer.

Do you guys ever feel your stomachs when you are sitting down? Mine feels weird like I can push into it and it is really swollen. I don't know if it from the garment because when I stand up I don't notice this.

PS. I need to stop eating tortilla chips and chocolate chip cookies, like real soon. I was at the store yesterday and I kept wanting to buy junk food which is so not like me. So easy to slip into old bad habits so I gotta be careful. Just reminding myself. Still am down 2 lbs from surgery but I want to keep it that way as 140 is a perfectly good weight for me, and maintainable if I can just stick with my healthy habits.

Good night sisters, Happy Sunday and happy healing. xox

Didn't realize how much swelling at night but obviously quite a bit as in the morning i can pull pants away from skin and at
night they bately button

However I love my stomach so much in both

Second night in a row I slept in bed all night. I can move without thinking about it now as I always toss from one side to the other and usually to my belly too but I haven't attempted that yet. I tried on my jeans last night and could get them buttoned but sitting would have been out of the questions. Way to tight. Was super lazy this morning and didn't want to but I made myself try again to get a feel for the swelling and its obvious, especially in that side shot just how much swelling there is.

I really really LOVE these pictures though so I am cool with it. I hope the swelling doesn't last forever, but if it were to last forever--I look in the mirror and feel happy so I am going to take it and appreciate it so much. If I need to buy a size bigger jeans -- I will. I need to do my comparison picture from pre surgery to allow everyone to fully appreciate why I LOVE this so much and actually ok going up a size in jeans.

Called the dr today. One lady who answers the phone I LOVE, one lady who answers the phone I don't LOVE but she always answers my questions. She kinda makes me feel like a pain in the butt but I did pay 5500. and I am not seeing them for any post op appointments so I choose to ignore that irritation I feel from her and ask anyway. She told me I could send an email with my questions she wasn's sure on the answers for: ab work? Some people say wait 6 monts. She said 6 weeks. She told me I can take the garment off at 4 weeks and she told me I can start some moderate exercise at four weeks. I will send Dr Ralston an email looking for a little bit more guidance as to be sure to not mess up his art work. She also said they don't think maderma or bio oil works well but they recommend the silicone sheeting. Seems to be the consensus around here as well that it is a great option so they gave me a couple of websites to look at and order "Whatever I think will work," lol. I will go with my gut I guess. I LOVE coconut oil so I will start using that on my belly button since it is completely healed, until I get my scar silicone strips.

My den is coming down on Sunday. I am returning my recliner to its rightful owner (Aunt and Uncle) and gonna fold up the extra blankets and get them washed and put away. I will miss that den. I was thinking today how I kinda miss my down time in my chair doing nothing......but I wish I had it now--where I can do almost anything, just choosing not to. lol Can't make a girl happy I guess.

Working on Christmas stuff this week and am organized atleast, it is time to get everything finalized though because I hate last minute running around stressful stuff.

Still having some upper back pain, but I take ibuprofin twice a day and that seems to make everything just fine. I imagine that back pain (soooo much better than those first two weeks--that was really quite intolerable) will dissipate as I start to be able to exercise again.

happy healing sisters.

I am almost normal again! I have been about my normal mommy/wife/trainer things this week and have not had trouble with tiredness. My back is still a little achey from time to time but not so bad. If I am taking anything I am taking ibuprofin once a day usually in the afternoon. I am not a wuss about pain, I actually think my pain tolerance is quite high--I just don't see the need to be in pain when I can avoid it with ibuprofin so I do as much as I can, when I think about it.
I have started lifting 10 lbs in each hand as I am racking and reracking clients weights at the gym. That feels good, no pain. I am sleeping fine in bed and can feel my abs engaging as I flip from side to side but again, no pain. I took my surgical tape off yesterday per dr's orders and the scar still looks good I am just hoping the scar treatment I ordered helps shrink the scar because it is raised a bit from the skin. Not terrible, but I'd like it flatter, obviously. I am happy to hear bustingoutinbc say her dr thinks the treatment isn't a huge deal so anything I do is maybe a gonna do nothing or a little bit of something. My chest scars healed well so maybe I am lucky in that department and my scars just heal well.
I have been having trouble sleeping. I sleep fine til 2 am or 4 am then I wake up, wide awake for an hour. I am a little stressed--but not having anything to do with surgery. I do think not having my gym jam session--endorphin releasing time might be playing a role in the stress and the lack of good sleep.
I have to work half day tomorrow then a whole day Saturday for my dad at his retail store he manages for a big sale. That will be my first day on my feet an entire day. I made sure he scheduled me for the busiest time he wanted me there for sure--because I may not be able to work the whole 8 hours and I am not going to push my body to work when I don't absolutly have to. I don't want to take ANY steps backward. Sunday will be church (3 hours of sitting again) and then family dinner so besides that I plan to rest as much as I can. Work half day Monday and then Tuesday it is on the calendar to start a light upper body workout. I am thinking 30 minutes of lifting and maybe 10 minutes of cardio. That's my intentions. But I will, of course listen to my body there as well. I plan to train every other day my first three weeks back in action. Alternating upper and lower body splits with some light cardio.

I have often thought in the past 12 months that it would be fun to start with a fresh "Slate" or "physique," and start carving again. I look foward to this time. I feel a little soft, not terribly soft but a little so I know my body will be ready to respond quickly to what I give it to do. I hope to continue addressing shoulders twice a week, soon (they are my lagging area) and triceps twice a week (they are my GOOD area:) Legs will be one to two times a week and I am going to be limiting back work to mostly pulll ups (2014 is my year to hit 16 in a row, I only managed 8 maximum this year..which is still very good for me, but not quite where I hoped to be) I just don't want any more back growth as I already feel like shirts and jackets are getting tighter from my lats which is why I will mostly focus on pull ups but not have a single solid day dedicated to just back work. It's exciting to have a plan. I spend a lot of time wrapped up in other people's plans that it is actually very fun to have this opportunity to watch and learn more about my own physique. I feel this is going to be a great year for me with that, now that my stomach issue is gone and I won't have time and energy wasted in focus on that freaking skin. Just feeling very anxious and excited for my training to resume and continue to improve my fitness level and my physique.

That's all for today. I am keeping up on everyone's updates, just a little less time to comment all the time now that I am feeling normal and need to be doing laundry, dishes, and vacumming (yep did that once this week and it went ok!)

Happy healing sisters

Well today was a big freaking annoying nightmare if I am being honest. I am totally one of those people who looks for the good in everything and tries to be really positive but today was just one thing after another of crap.
Not only are we in debt to pay for this tummy tuck,
but--our furnace has broken. My car door handle is messed up. Apparently I dropped my phone and cracked the screen. Pissed off about a stupid work thing.

It was just all a big pile of crap. Stupid crap and I can't wait to go to bed but I knew I bettter update before I forgot.

Work went fine Saturday. I was really tired after I had been on my feet for about 5 hours. I made it the entire day 9-7 with an hour lunch but I was pretty pooped. I stupidly had commited (because I really wanted to go) to go out to dinner with my girlfriends who took me to Utah for surgery after. I didn't want to look yucky because I have spent the past month looking yucky so I put on my cute boots, cute shirt and kept the jeans that a friend had let me borrow. I looked cute and felt cute but my legs and hips hurt so bad. I was so glad all we did was go to one store and walk around at this new shopping plaze/pretty village thing we have and then sat down to eat at Red Robin.

Sunday I rested and cleaned house. Today was work (5 hours) and I decided to train for 30 minutes.
I was having a crappy day and I really needed to exert myself. Anything would have done I imagine but I warmed up for 5 minutes at my usual slow pace of 3.3 at an incline of 2% or so. That was a brisk walk for me today but it didn't hurt and I felt good.
I did a big circuit to try and "wake my muscles up" and it worked. They were awake and burning. I set a time limit of 30 minutes because I knew it would be easy for me to overdo.
20 reps of each exercise back to back
bent over rows (10# each hand)
chest flys (30# total)
standing shoulder press (8 # dbells)
tricep pull downs (30#)
face pulls (30#)
bicep curls (10# dbells)
walking lunges (20 e leg)
5 mins on treadmill walking, then repeated that twice.

My body felt good. No pain whatsoever I was just much more aware of trying not to engage my abs but to really focus on the muscle group that i was targeting. I will rest tomorrow and do a similar type workout (but more emphasis on lower body and less on upper) Wednesday as long as my body seems to tolerate today ok. I was racking and unracking 25# plates for clients today but still having them to any 35 or 45# plates and also having them do any lifting from the ground up.

I started scar silicone gel yesterday just on my belly button. I will upload pics tomorrow since it will be 4 weeks post surgery :)

I feel really tired half an hour before I usually go to bed so I am gonna turn in early.
Still really happy I made this decision, wish I would have done tummy first then boobs or tummy and no boobs to be honest because I love my new stomach so much. Dr had said I could take this garment off tomorrow at 4 weeks, but I am feeling strongly like I need to wean off of it so I will start taking it off an hour at a time starting tomorrow and then go from there as I feel comfortable.

Happy healing sisters. Hope you're all doing well and even though today was a rough stupid day--tomorrow will be better and I am truly grateful for everything and everyone I have in my life, including you! Who have made this monumental journey with me, and supported me every step of the way. Thank you! xo

These pictures make me smile :)

So so happy.

I showed a client yesterday and I told her how happy I am but of all the risks...she said "yah but would you rather have your old saggy stomach??"

TRUTH.

Look how far we have come sisters! YAY!

I think about everyone often through my week but in true "real life" fashion I find myself running running running and having no time for updating or reading updates. I miss when we were all home and could chat all the day long about our recoveries. It is nice to be back to real life but it is also such a fast paced life we live I wish it could slow down.

I briefly saw snowflys update from a few days ago (that I need to go back and read, and the other 4 I have seen I have missed too) about her sitting down to go to the bathroom and looking down and although her tummy is flat, she sees a roll and was stressing out.

Apparently this is very normal.

I too, have looked in the mirror a few times and though "I don't think he pulled the skin tight enough," when I sit I do see a bit of a roll, and when I bend down there is a bit of a roll as well.

I had to check myself before I wrecked myself. I don't even say the "Eff" word and I literally told myself to "Shut the fu@$ up!" I seriously have to shut up. I am not doing this. My skin is gone and I will be happy in this body. I will. I will not critique. I will not. I can not. I am grateful I had this surgery, but it didn't turn me into a super model and it wont for any of us. We are still women, with perfectly imperfect bodies and if you are looking for perfection my advice is to wait about 50 years because when we die is the ONLY time we will see ourselves perfected.

It isn't easy. Loving my body was hard as heck before, I HATED my stomach so much. But now, rational is taking over and it is time to shut the EFF up. I am so much better than I was. My dr did a great job and I will be fu#*ing happy with what I have. I WILL BE. I will say this every damn day because I refuse to look for another procedure. I refuse to be unhappy in this body the Lord gave me, and then gave me the ability to improve.

I have done 3 circuit style training sessions this week. Monday, Wed, and Friday. Wed I did all legs. I have timed myself for 30 minutes and although I feel like I could go longer (not harder, my endurance is severely decreased and my strength feels really low) I make myself stop at 30 minutes. I can't remember what I did Wednesday but my hamstrings are sore and that makes me happy.
Today, Friday I did upper body with only 5 minutes of SLOW stair climbing.
10# db bent over row
30# upright row

attempted pushups on knees but felt weird in stomach so I did chest fly 30#
tricep pull downs 30#

8# shoulder side raise
tricep dips
10# bicep switch curls

30# face pulls
20# cable bicep curl

I did 3 sets of 15 of everything and called it a day. I felt really good about my small waist and a couple people commented on how happy they are for me, they knew how self conscious I was and they think I look fantastic. Made my heart feel very happy.

I was doing some last minute Christmas shopping yesterday and saw some CUTE flourescent color bikinis! OMGosh I have always said my goal is to have a body that CAN wear a bikini, but choose not to for modesty reasons. Freak, girls, I don't know....those swimming suits were SOOO cute. I might have been lying to myself. I really wanted to try one on. My religion is very conservative, in dress especially, and so it isn't common to see any of my church friends to wear anything other than a tankini or one piece. I don't want to be disrespectful or "loud," I don't know if that is the right word but I could really feel myself WANTING to wear that two piece. Time will tell. (ps if you were a bikini ROCK THE HECK ON! I think if you feel confident you should wear one and I don't think ANYTHING of ANYONE else who wears one. I just worry with my conservative area of offending anyone, if that makes sense--sorry if it doesn't)

I got out of the shower feeling all hot and so I put my cute undies and bra on and my man was like "babe, you look so good. Seriously, I just find you so sexy I want to do you!" (tmi sorry!) I said "man you did get lucky didn't you, lol" (mind you he is extremely hot himself!!!) He goes, "well I have put some work into ya." SHUT UP! I said but its true and funny and he got some action so I guess we both win. He has always been really attracted to me and wanted a lot of sex, but I think now so more than ever because I FEEL sexy. I feel hot. I feel confident and that makes me more appealing to him! Agree or disagree?

Anywho. Thats my story. BUSY BUSY weekend ahead. I am so excited for Christmas and some new traditions my little family has started this year. I hope you are all healing well, and even though I don't get to check in as often as I would like. I am thinking of you and I love you all! So grateful for you and your support these last few months. xoxx

Loving me so much :) so grateful for this surgery! Miss you sisters..more later xox

Heyyy ladies. Omgosh Life is good over here. I feel like my stomach is the gift that keeps on giving. I love all my clothes (ok, so I haven't tried my jeans on for a few weeks...just wearing the one pair I borrowed from a friend) and on Xmas eve, I cried as I tucked my tight t shirt in to my jeans and looked amazingly fit and flat. So fun. So so FUN!

My workouts are getting stronger. Amazing how at 4 weeks everything felt scary. at 5 weeks, I feel stronger and was able to push my body a bit more. I really isolate whatever body part I am working, careful not to engage my abs. The only thing that I have tried that engages my abs and I can't really help it is pushups on my knees. Last week I attempted a set and had to stop. This week I did 3 sets 12 of modified on my knees but I feel my abs engage and so I try pushing my tummy out to avoid it.
I need to start tracking my workouts so I can remember weights and reps but for now I am still just going through the motions.

Today was upper body
4x12-20 lat pull downs (40# 60# 70#)
Seated wide grip row 4x12-20 (40# 60#)
3x12 modified pushups super set 3x12 chest press hammer strength machine
3x12 seated shoulder press (15# dbells)
4x12 seated rear delt fly (15#)
3x15-20 standing barbell shrugs (43-65#)


Its incredible, that I am mindful of isolating the muscle group worked how much more I feel them. I must have done a lot of compensating in the past with my core.
I had originally thought I wouldn't be putting in much lat/back work because I am really hell bent on getting those 16 pushups in, but--through the past 5 weeks off I really have noticed my bra area getting softer--since I can't attempt pullups for another week or so, I am focusing my energy into the following areas:
lat work
shoulder work
tricep area
rear delts/traps
butt

I still work chest/biceps/ quads/calves--but one time a week and less emphasis because they are my naturally easy areas.

I am using coconut oil/vitamin e oil/ scar guard silicone stuff on my incisions. They are definitely lightening up and I am rubbing them (Even though my PS didn't tell me to, you all say it helps and it really has softened the incicsions up--so thank you!)

I think the numb feeling people talk about is what I call "feeling like I have tape all over my belly" I don't know it just feels weird. No pain, just a weird tapey feeling. I can sleep on my back, side or belly--I am just very cautious on my tummy sleeping. I can have really amazing sex with my hubby and actually move through out sex without freaking out or worrying I will get hurt.

I have a little pouch to the right of the center of my incision that looks swollen or else the side to the left looks indented? Not sure which. It is kinda weird but I don't know if it is swelling, how the PS did the MR, what. It covers up just fine in undies and clothes and hoenstly my biggest beef from before is how I looked in underwear and clothes. Naked wasn't a huge issue besides when I was having sex.

Still shocked to see my reflection in the mirror and love what I see so much. I can't say enough what this surgery has done for my confidence. Feeling so happy and thankful I was able to have this taken care of.

Wishing you the best. Gonna go browse your updates now. MIss you all!! xoxx

Pix. I took email updates off so I haven't seen anyone's stuff!!! I was losing work emails in the midst of real self :( miss you all and wish you peace and contentment in 2014

So happy more to come

Hey everyone! I think about all my real self friends often! I miss you all! So funny I read when I was down and out and stuck in my recliner someone say that she missed her recovery time--once she was all back up and running normally and I thought she was a little loco. But, I feel her. I too miss the slower pace that was recovery.
I have continued to have no issues with my recovery. The only thing I got going on is a slight, acute, pain when I run. Run only. Stairs are fine, elipitcal is fine--running or sprinting gives it to me. It is on my left side below my incision. One of my clients is a physical therapist and she thinks it is scar tissue and has recommended me massage it well. I have been, I don't know if it's working or not. I am not a big runner, in fact I really only run for 1 minute at a time typically doing HIIT, so if I can't really run anymore-- I am not that sad. All the positives of me returning to my lifestyle definitely outweigh that. I can handle it.
I have a few flaws. My belly button at the top, protrudes a little bit. Right beloe the middle of my incision the left side is indented in a bit. I don't know why. I will gladly have these flaws for the rest of my life.
I put on a bikini the other day (borrowed from a friend), they were supposed to be my before pictures as I was ready to start my fitness show prep. BUT, I loved the pictures. For the first time in my life, I loved a picture of me in a bikini. I freaked--I was so worried I would not love these pictures again, that I would lose this feeling that I threw the show in the bag. I want to look good in a bikini and feel confident year round. Not just for a show. I am out. It isn't gonna be my thing. Been there done that and have officially learned what I needed to learn apparently.
So, I am back to training at 100%, my strength isn't there--crazy how much I lost but it is coming. I worked abs one time this week and didn't have any issues. I will start those slow too, once a week again this week then next week at 10 weeks post op I will give it a go twice a week. The exciting thing about me now is, I have forever to continue sculpting my body. No deadline. No saggy belly to make me cry all the time. I love my body for the first time ever. I feel a bit of guilt that I had to have surgery to get here, to this loving my body place--but then I remember how hard I have worked, and will continue to work and I get over it. I am too busy loving my body to worry much about that.
If I could do it over, I'd do this in a heart beat. I would re-use my surgeon. I couldn't be happier.