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39 years old 5'9" ditching this flabby tummy in a few days

Since I found out my husband is okay with this (I...

Since I found out my husband is okay with this (I never thought he would be), all I can think about is when I can get rid of the tummy skin that has held me back for years. My highest weight was 270 lbs, that was at the end of a pregnancy with a 10 lb, 11 oz baby. He was my third C-section. My skin stretched the most with him. Following his birth, over a few years, I was able to go from a tight size 16 to a size 6. I was 165 lbs as a 6. At that weight I was being called "tiny". I had no boobs and no butt. I was very insecure because I was always curvy before. I had lost the most weight on a diet I will not mention or promote here because I respect you all too much to intrigue you with it. I wouldn't do it again. Anyway, that would be my leanest weight. I had 20% body fat at that weight. I found out then that I have lots of hanging skin. My tummy looked like a nursing mama dog when I was in plank position. I was embarrassed about doing pilates, yoga or Body Pump in classes at the gym because I was thin but had this awful hanging belly. I had met my goal weight but was still miserable about my sagging belly skin. What was the point? So, I went back to the gym and ate well and started bodybuilding. I went up to 175 lbs and a size 8. I had a butt and muscles again. I liked it there. I stayed that size for about 2 years. I still would look in t the mirror during squats and see my belly resting on my thighs. I did lunges and it would hit my thighs. The bar would hit my tummy during deadlifts. I felt like a freak, thin but with an ugly belly. I have also started running and hate the way my underwear falls down under my tummy fold when I run. I am tired of adjusting my panties at the gym. What the heck?

I work out 5 or 6 days per week doing HIIT cardio and weight lifting. I sit at a desk 40 hours per week so I have to stay active at the gym. Anyway, the last year was stressful. I gained weight despite exercising faithfully. I also found out my thyroid medication was in need of adjustment. I have PCOS too and was starving and craving carbs all the time so I decided to go back on metformin to get my weight back down. It helps control blood sugar levels. I'm 188 lbs and in a size 10 or 12 now. I think I would be content in an 8 or 10 forever if I could just ditch this awful hanging belly. My size 8's fit right now if I hold up my belly. I am aiming for a full tummy tuck. I am trying to get back to 175 lbs before surgery because I am very fit at that weight.

First I want a tubal ligation but I am not sure of the cost. I have to wait until August 21 for a consultation. If the price is too high and I can't get it done ASAP, then hubby will have to get snipped. I would like to have 6 weeks in between tubal ligation and tummy tuck surgery. I am not a candidate for Essure. I want my tummy tuck in either October or November this year so I can heal up and get my gym routine going again by next summer. I am not telling anyone about the surgery and the cold months will allow me to wear clothes that will cover me up. I am so anxious to schedule my surgery but I have to consult with 2 docs in Utah first. I am checking out Dr Ralston and Dr Brzowski the last week of August. I wish I could go sooner. The wait is almost too much to handle.

Anyway, I am so happy to have found Real Self. I will connect on the calendar as soon as I schedule a date. I will have to post some pics later when I have time to take them. I am nervous about doing that but I appreciate that so many other people have done it and I know it helps. I will update later. I look forward to journaling my thoughts throughout the process.
Good luck. I have pcos too. I also take metformin. My tummy tuck is scheduled for December 18th so we will have to keep in touch on how it is all going. The wait is hard but I agree it will be nice to have it done in the cold months.
Good luck to you too! Right now I am trying to decide if I am going to get a tubal ligation first. I don't know if I can fit both surgeries in before December. I have some $ figures I am juggling to make it work. I would love to do the tummy tuck same time as you but it would be tough to hide from my older kids around Christmas. You are lucky to have that time to do it.
Hey I see you're having sx the same day as me! We don't have the same doc but its cool to know that someone else is transitioning the same time as me! Much blessings doll.

The dreaded before pics

So here's the belly. I can kind of dress around it but that lower flap really sucks. Can't wait to fix this up and have that flab be gone.

What should I tell people?

Well, now I am thinking I need to schedule my tummy tuck in the last two weeks of December. I usually have no work to do during the last 2 weeks of December and the first 2 weeks of January so I won't have to worry about my work being covered by someone else. I was trying to avoid holiday times due to my older kids being around but I don't even know if they will be coming to my place. They spend time with their dad sometimes. They are 17 and 18. One lives on her own now and the other with their dad. I think they both would judge me for the surgery even though they praised my weight loss and are proud their mom is a fitness freak who eats healthy now. I was thinking I could say I was having hernia surgery. Are any of you in this same boat? I'm so confused about what to tell them. There is that issue and the idea that I would have to travel in possibly very snowy roads in December or January and I can't get up into my husbands giant truck after surgery. Lots to think about I suppose. That would give me a few months to work out and lose more weight and get as fit as possible before surgery though. The results would be way better than if I had an October tummy tuck. I should really be working right now, not on here. Oops!
I feel the same about telling your children . Although my daughter is 17 I have taught her to love herself dispite my issues with my own self image .
:) I told my work I was having a procedure done....they never asked what and I never told.
Thanks for replying. I work from home and set my own hours so I can get away with that part. I just need to tell the people I contract with when I won't be available. I'm so glad I work from home and can wear whatever while healing. Its the kids...maybe I should tell them. I hope the result will be obvious enough where I won't have a dang fat roll in my jeans anymore, right? I'm telling my gym I'm having a procedure so they can put a hold on my gym fees during recovery. Church people...I could use some help but don't want gossip to start...

Maybe I need to not rush this

I maintained at about 170-175 for a long time but recently gained some weight and am closer to 190 now. I know my optimal weight is 175 and with my tummy skin fixed up I would love that weight. I am like 15 pounds above that. I talked with Dr Brzowski's staff today. Kelly was very helpful and informative. She really made me want to go with Dr Brzowski in one conversation. He has stellar credentials, almost enough to outshine my desire to get a second opinion and pay more. I know that I want the best possible tummy I can get. I want to reach the 170s before this surgery. I can do it, I just put up so many mental road blocks to progress. One of my stumbling blocks is that I hate my belly so much, I don't feel like being seen at the gym, especially since gaining about 15 pounds in the last year, despite being there 6 days a freaking week! I tell myself if the tummy were gone, I would easily lose more weight due to confidence. I just don't want to have the surgery and then get to 170 ish and want to try because my tummy is no longer tight. I think maybe I need to wait. This is a lot of money to spend if I don't do it the way I need to for an optimal result. I think I can drop 15 pounds by December. I know I can. Why do I have any doubt that I can? I was once 240 pounds after pregnancy, why in the hell would I not be able to lose it? Why would my mind hold me back?
I too have PCOS and got lipo to help. I would recommend still doing your workouts and eating healthy as that will help you after surgery during the healing process to have a quicker recovery! Wishing you the best on your well deserved procedure! Looking forward to seeing your results! Good luck !
Thanks Amg408. It looks like your lipo did the trick and you had some good results. I wish it were enough for me to have lipo... Sucky how the PCOS packs the weight on in the tummy, huh? Thank you for your well wishes! I appreciate the support!
Hi Matea! I read your post about telling your kids and I think you'd be surprised at the support you might receive from them. They love you and already proud of their mom. Chances are that it's going to come out at some point so you might as well be up front with them and trust that being adults (or almost) they can handle it. Their biggest concern will likely be your health and safety. Involving them in the pre-op or having one of them help you with some aspect of the surgery may help them feel comfortable and excited for you. Bonus you could end up with some much needed support. Ultimately it is you who has to be doing this for you and feeling confident it's the right choice. Not everyone will feel the same about it and that's ok. Hearing different perspectives can be good too in that it gets you to evaluate your own reasons for getting this done and whether it's worth it to YOU. I came into this thinking I could just tell my husband and be fine. I've found that Me and my husband will need additional support so I've let some of my close friends and family know. There are some I'll still avoid the subject with but in the end if it comes to lying or the truth I will go with the truth. As timing goes I think over the holidays is the best. Sort of wish I had been more patient and waited until I didn't have to worry about getting back to work. Best if luck to you!

Thanks for being here for me!

I am glad this site is here. I have really been struggling because all I seem to think about is this TT and when and how I am going to get it done. My husband is the only person I can talk to about it besides all of you. I have one close friend here but I don't want to just blah, blah, blah unload on her because she wants a tummy tuck too but has to wait quite a while to get one. I don't want her to get sick of me so I just come on this site and read your stories and admire everyone. I don't know how I would do this without you. Thank you so much for your caring concern, comments and advice! XOXOX
I know it's the worst but at least we got it handled ;) lol the mends help out a lot with gym and good diet (I'm refraining from a lot of carbs) and have seen a difference. Glad to see someone that I can relate with with PCOS on here :) you'll definitely achieve your weight loss goal by your surgery and it will be so worth it! Happy thoughts !!
That's true. I hope I find someone else who has their surgery in Jan with me to go through things with. I'm SUPER glad I have all of you too!

Clothing options following the tummy tuck

I was just shopping for button up shirts to wear after my TT. I have a long torso and tops are always too short and this makes me hunch over to hide my tummy roll. I was groaning in my mind about how none of these stupid shirts will cover my tummy roll because they are too short. That is when I realized that there won't be a tummy roll anymore pretty soon. I can't wait!!!!
Got your message Matea - hello from OZ :)). I'm 2 months post op from body lift and arm lift. Very happy with the results so far... I would recommend locking in a date for surgery as soon as you're sure of your decision, which will motivate you to loose the extra weight and give you something to work towards. Aesthetically you will achieve the best result if your close to your goal weight at the time of surgery. I lost 40 kg and was 70kg for a year before having the op (now 66kg), so my weight was stable and I was super fit by going to the gym 6 days a week, 2 hours a day. My recovery has been uneventful, which I put down to being at a reasonable weight, good muscle tone and being healthy. One thing, start ramping up the squats and lunges for a few months prior to surgery, as strong legs will be your best friend and take the pressure off your tummy muscles. Best of luck with your journey, you will have huge support from others on this site. Keep us posted :)). Ps, as for what to tell people, I just said women's business, and they pretty much didn't ask anymore. Lol. But it does help to have someone close who knows, as they can been a massive support during the process.
I just checked out your page and I also suffer from PCOS. When I went for my consult I actually asked my PS if he had any good "excuses" for me. I'm not ashamed that i'm getting a tt, but I for sure don't want to advertise it. He gave me several suggestions, one dealt with ovarian cysts, which I do have, so that's always an option. I think If anyone asks, i'll tell them it was a female issue, that's not really a lie. I'm getting mine done mid December and plan on wearing big sweaters and layering clothes for a couple of months so it doesn't look so obvious. I just started with a personal trainer and have made it clear that I'm getting in the best shape of my life, so I'm hoping that minimizes the suspicion. Do you have a set date? I look forward to following you.
Imworthit- thanks for the suggestion about excuses to use. I actually have had surgery before to have a 5-cm cyst removed along with a gangrenous fallopian tube. I bounced right back in a week. mostly the people at church are who I am trying to keep out of this. I'm in a small town and a there are many doctors and their wives in my church. I think I will just say that I had hernia surgery. These women don't need to know my business. They met me after I lost my weight and have not been part of my life through the process. I want to schedule for November. I will know my surgery date by the end of next week.

Stupid hormones!

So, I'm on the Depo shot for PCOS. I just had a T3 thyroid added to my levothyroxine, and added metformin back in. I have continued with workouts, appetite is down, counting calories and avoiding sweets. I was 4 pounds down. Now I am 2 weeks away from the next Depo shot and have bloating, cramps, and am bitchy and angry. I don't get periods, just PMS symptoms 8 weeks after the shot. I have water weight fluctuations of up to 8 pounds regularly. This really makes it hard to stay motivated with a weight loss plan when I am up and down. I lost most of my weight a few years ago on HCG prescription injections. It was the only satisfying result I had in years. I have kept off 35 pounds of that loss. I will not starve myself and lose all that hair again and weaken myself before surgery and mentally I can't handle the thinking that goes with HCG dieting, so that is not an option now. I can obviously maintain 185 to 190 well. I measure 36 31 40.5. I really want to get to 175 before surgery. Feeling discouraged. Maybe pilates today instead of my usual 2-hour Saturday gym session. I need to calm down and be nice to myself. I got my credit card yesterday, the one I ordered for surgery. Whew. By next Friday, my consults will be over and a date will be scheduled. I'm feeling really vain and self-centered since I started planning surgery. I think I was happier before I started focusing on how much this tummy has to go soon. It was easier to deal with when I thought it would always be there. I'm also working more than I used to to prepare financially for the monthly payment we are about to take on. More work means neglecting my family more. I work from home so it is worse because I get grumpy when I'm interrupted. The long recovery is going to be hard on my family. I take care of everyone and do all the housework and cooking in addition to working. I'm worried I am going to over do it because I can't let the house fall apart. I'm a bit of an anxious control freak. I wish I could stop being afraid of recovery. The swelling and not fitting into my clothes is really something that sticks in my mind. I don't want to buy bigger clothes and don't like wearing dresses and skirts, especially in November and December. I hate wearing gym clothes when not at the gym. Sorry about the rambling worries and complaints. Nobody else understands or wants to know about these things. Tomorrow is my first consultation. It's about to get real! Hope you all have a blessed and lovely weekend!

1st consultation done!

I had my first consult today. It feels good to be told by a doctor that there is nothing I can do for my tummy but get surgery. He says he will remove all the skin from the belly button to the pubic area. Said at my current size he can give me a great result with a flat tummy. Said I don't need to lose weight. Said I could take or leave the lipo but it would definitely give a better result to sculpt the hip area. The other surgeon includes the lipo in the procedure. This one charges extra. It looks likes they will probably end up about the same price in the end. My gut didn't tell me "this is the one". He is qualified for sure but I can't wait for my other consult on Thurs. I was told my back looks fine, nothing needed. Awesome sauce! Friday I set a date. Now I want October. :)
Look at you girl, said bye bye to that little belly, you going look like a barbie doll and lam no lying because you are skinny already, oh oh hot mama on the making. Good luck. Kisses
Haha! Feeling the love! Thanks for the nice little boost triguena! You made me laugh. Tomorrow I pick a date. I'm sitting here feeling so nervous about committing to this. I just keep reminding myself of what next summer will feel like!
OMG next summer will feel wonderfull, picture it jajaja, the nice dresses, short pants no belly, umhhhh jaaja sorry l always laugh, possitivism is the key, nook the day and keep us posted.

Booked surgery October 17, 2014

Well, I picked the surgeon. He blew the other one away. I definitely feel safe with this one but he suggested things the other surgeon did not suggest. This makes me wonder if he has a better eye, is more confident in what he can do for me or maybe he just sees what he can offer and in the end I go for more than I had planned on. He is saying he wants to lipo my upper abdomen (other surgeon would not do that until after healed from tummy tuck). He is wanting to remove all the tummy skin up to above my belly button assuring no vertical scar (the other surgeon could not guarantee that I would have enough skin to not leave the old belly button hole, creating a vertical scar). He also says that he believes my flank area/hip area will be slouchy if he does not do an extended tuck. He says I am going to be FLAT and VERY TIGHT if we extend the scar. He also explained a full body lift to me as I have saggy butt and thigh skin too. I can't spend that much, not going to do that. Now, for the regular TT with lipo to hips, mons and upper abs (hey, if he says I won't be thick he does this, ok then, right?), this would be $8300. To do all that and remove my flank skin al the way around to my back side too, creating a longer scar, it will be $9300. Who doesn't want THE BEST RESULT? Right? What to do? I don't even know. I never considered I would be a candidate for an extended scar/extended tuck. Have any of you had one? I thought that was for people who remain obese or who had a big roll going around the back. I have a flat back. My curves look good from the back. No rolls on my back, no lump. He says the extended tuck will completely flatten and tighten my side hip contour. $1000 dollars and a bigger scar. The other guy didn't say I needed this. He didn't have a fancy monitor with a body to draw on either. He didn't give me options or prices. He didn't suggest anything. He just acted like" ok, you want a tummy tuck, I know what to do....call me to schedule one". He was nice but these two surgeons are night and day different. Ok so I am scheduled for 6:30 am on Friday October 17th. I paid the deposit. No looking back now. I just have to figure out whether to go extended or not. Opinions ya'll? Please? Thanks RS sisters! I freaking stoked!!!
Congrats on your date! You're before me, so keep posting updates, especially any tips! I just posted some new before pics and I am more ready than ever for my date!
I'm not a PS, but you don't look like you need a body lift. Go for the ex
Damn iPad, as I was saying, go for the extended TT with the lipo. Your scar will be long so you may want to make it a consideration in your decision process. I'm 9.5 months out from my TT with lipo to the back and flanks. My PS said he would lipo up upper abdominal area and mons, but I don't think he did. I love my results and I believe you will too. Good luck!

42 days to go

I figured I should check in. I'm awful about keeping any kind of journal but this is such an exciting thing I am planning to do soon and I want to look back and remember what the hell I was thinking when I am sore and wondering what I have done. I am amazed that I am so close to having my tummy tuck. Since scheduling the surgery my eating habits have been on target. It is amazing how much willpower I have when I know I only have about 6 weeks to get as lean as possible. I have 9 pounds to go. I have been gradually dropping weight so I know if I just keep at it, I will get there. The sad thing is that my weight loss is always noticeable up top first. From the head down I am looking great. In the lower half, I do see a little bit of deflation in the lap roll so I guess it is coming off all over. I got a compliment from a gym buddy yesterday and my gym tops are getting looser so that's a good thing. I finally am feeling better about telling a few people about the surgery. I told her and our other friend at the gym and they both congratulated me as they looked me up and down to see what exactly I was talking about having cut off. Compression pants are FAB! The in-person support was nice. I am very happy and once I get to stand up straight after the surgery, I am going to hold my head up high and be proud of how much further I have come. I have to say that my love for my husband has increased since he has been so supportive of me doing this. It is a big surgery and an expensive one and through this, I am coming to see that he really would do anything just to see me happy. I love him so much!
Hi I'm also scheduled for oct 17. Good luck to you.

Counting down. Only 16 days to go.

Well, I am now 16 days away from surgery and preop is Friday. My weight loss stopped. I'm not so happy about that. I am still 8 pounds away from where I want to be. I know how I look at 170 or 175. I am struggling with thinking I am too big to be wasting money on this surgery, a little disappointed I ever gained weight back from the 160's. Part of me is still in denial that I am even having surgery. On the up side, I am more muscular than I was a month ago, due to trying to get as strong as possible before surgery. I've hit the gym hard 6 days a week. Lots of lifting and running. I'm proud of my physical accomplishments. Still, my mind is tripping me out. I'm having a hard time sleeping at night. I have bad dreams about being disappointed with the outcome. I'm trying to focus on the fact that at this size, this surgery will not let me down. My results will be better than what I have now and I won't have a lap-belly anymore. A 10-pound loss after surgery won't make my skin sag, it won't kill my results. The doc asked if I was within 10 pounds of where I want to be and I am so let's do this, right? Now that the tummy is going to go, I have been hating my thighs and wanting new boobs too. It's never enough. I need to work harder on being positive. If I don't practice this now, I think recovery will only be more difficult. Sorry for being Debbie Downer. I just needed somewhere to sort things out. Hoping to get a grip and eat healthier for the next 2 weeks and gain some confidence. It would be easier if I didn't work alone at home and just sit here and think myself to death all day! Speaking of work, I am supposed to be doing that now. Catch up with you lovelies later. Hope you are well.
You will be utterly amazed at what your PS is able to accomplish. I was about 25 pounds overweight at surgery and I look like I've lost at 20-30 pounds now. According to the scale, I'm only about 10 pounds down. It's mind-boggling what they are able to do. My hubby just shakes his head in astonishment. It's all in the sculpting. I had lots of lipo along with my TT, and I believe it made all the difference in the world. You're going to be SOOOO happy with your results!!! :)
Thank you so much for saying that! I agree with you, your pictures look fabulous. I have followed you for a while. I'm having lipo to the upper abs, hips and mons and a very, very long scar so hopefully in the end it I will look amazing too.
Thanks! I just checked out your profile! I'm glad I am not the only one needing Xanax! I will follow you! Whew....almost there!

Let's get this done! Paid for and ready to go!

Hey there tummy tuckers! I am breathing a deep sigh of relief. I had my preop appointment, had the photos in that ugly paper thong, got my prescriptions and paid for surgery. There is no looking back now. I won't be doubting or questioning my judgement any longer. I feel at peace. My body is healthy, can do great things, is muscular and is about to take on the shape it deserves. My heart is filled with joy and I am ready to embrace the new me.

My husband is a loving, sweet man who is right here with me, although he was surprised when I came home and told him how much help I will need. I might need a blood thinner because I am on Depo Provera injections which increase my risk of clotting. If I do need this, it will have to be injected into my shoulder area every night by my husband, the guy who hates needles. I have a medical background and can inject myself but the nurse said I can't. Well, I think I will anyway. I may not need the blood thinners though. We shall wait and see.

I was going to go without a shower sprayer or shower chair but on second thought, I may at least need the sprayer. I was pleased to hear that this surgeon will let me shower the day after surgery but I was told my husband will need to be in the shower with me. Normally he would light up when I mention jumping into the shower with me but he got this worried look on his face when I told him this. I think it is hitting home how disabled I might be. He knows I am tough though. I just hope I tackle this is as well as my past C sections. He really hates seeing me in pain and I think my incision is going to trip him out a bit. I think I will dress it myself if possible.

The nurse told me my scar is going to wrap around my back and come just a few inches from touching. If I had a belt lipectomy, the scar would go all the way around. I am not excited about this longer-than-expected scar, due to the fact that an incision in the back is probably going to make the back pain worse as I can't use a heating pad to relieve lower back pain. I hope I will be able to sleep. On a positive note, with a scar that big and lipo the the upper abs, hips and mons, I seriously doubt I will have any flubber left to me. He is going to get it all and it will be tight, tight. I'm smiling so big right now!

I have all my baggy clothes. I have never been the type to hang out in sweats or yoga pants all day but now I think I will be happy having an excuse to do it. The nurse suggested wearing tight compression underwear after the surgery since I will just have a binder on. She said the lipo areas will benefit from the compression. Maybe I will buy some compression shorts. I am going to lose about 3 inches in the lower ab area, at least. I wonder what size underwear I will actually need for compression. She also advised that I purchase Jobst compression stockings 10-20 mmHg. This gradient is next to impossible to find. Have any of you purchased compression stockings? If so what brand and what gradient did you buy?

So, this weekend I am starting to nest. I want to dust the things that will drive me nuts while I am stuck at home recovering. I'm going to dust all the blinds, the ceiling fan, clean the window sills, wipe down the baseboards,etc. I would like to have the carpets cleaned but don't want to spend the money on it right now. It's funny. I don't usually accept help but in case I do, I actually am going to clean up my laundry room, organise the pantry, get my kitchen drawers in order, clean the fridge, straighten the linen closet. If anyone sees the state of things the way they are now, I think I might be a tiny bit embarrassed. I was also looking at the bathtubs and wondering when I would be able to handle cleaning them again following surgery. Everything is going to get scrubbed. All of my clothes and supplies will be in reach. I am going to put some Lysol wipes on each counter top so I can keep things clean like I like to. I think I can at least do that after surgery.

Just 13 days until I turn into a hot mama as triguena said in my comments below. :) I can't believe how much better it feels since preop is behind me. Happy healing to those of you already on the flat side. Take care and be well to the rest of you counting your days! Ta for now!
Congrats on the Pre-op! Mine was moved up to Nov. 3rd. I'm not nervous, but not exactly thrilled at the prospect of being so incapacitated. Praying it goes well for you!
Thanks! Prayers are great!
I had my GP do it for me and now they found my iron levels are far to low. But my GP thinks it's ok. I now need to have tests done as to why? Am scared. It could mean internal bleeding. Actually I am beyond scared.

Avoiding certain meds and herbs

Well, I am really anxious. I like to take valerian root for that but am not allowed to. I love caffeine. I drink Rockstars or an energy drink mix for my water every day in addition to lots of water. I read the can and the box. They have guarana, ginko biloba and panax ginseng in them so I guess no more of those until after surgery. I don't do coffee anymore but sure am tempted to drink it for the next 2 weeks, I mean 11 DAYS!!! Aaaahhh! I'm so excited.
8 more days - eeekkkk! So excited for you!! :)
Me too! Thanks!
Can't wait for after pics and to see how everything goes! I'll have mine 3 days after you!! Cheers to flat tummys and bikinis!!! :)

Running out of time

Hi everyone, I'm turning 39 on Monday so I changed my Profile title. I am having my tummy tuck this coming Friday and I am so short on time. I have no meals put together for the freezer. I need to grocery shop. I need to do more cleaning. I have to work 3 long days this week to take Thursday off. I actually live in Idaho, not Utah, and will be travelling for 2 hours to get there. We are staying in a hotel Thursday night. I have to be at the surgery center at 6:30 am Friday. We have to stay in the hotel Friday night too. I love my dear husband for hanging out in a boring hotel and caring for me after surgery Friday. Our 12-year anniversary is today. I ate way too much cheesecake to celebrate. I think I am getting in my last hoorah with the indulgent foods. He is asking lots of questions and it sounds like he understands how much help I will need. He is being so supportive.

My son told his teacher I have cancer. All this talk about surgery had him anxious and he was confused. I explained everything and now I think more than anything else, he knows he is not going to get a younger brother or sister out of me. He knows all 3 of my babies were surgically removed from a cut in my belly. I explained that the doctor is going to fix my muscles in my tummy and make my belly look new. He was confused about me being cut open with no baby coming out, especially with all of the "Sure would be nice to be a big brother" hints he has been dropping. I told him I feel to old to have another baby and we just need to be happy he has older siblings. I showed him my walker and how I have to hunch around the house with it for a while. He enjoyed pushing it around for about an hour. He saw the shower chair and asked who was going to give me the shampoo and soap and help me if the soap gets in my eyes. I told him dad would help me. "Is he going to see you naked then?" he asked. I just love the questions that come out of 7-year-olds. He has no idea his dad ever sees me without clothes on.

I am going to head over to Pinterest now and see if I can pull up some easy recipes. I will post some more before pics soon. I think I may wait a few days on the afters. I don't want you all to see my "balls". I really don't want to see my tummy for a few days after either. I am scared of being disappointed by the result. If I still feel fat after all this, I am getting some counseling, after I have paid down the balance on the credit card for this surgery, so I can afford counseling.

Good night! Hope you all are enjoying the weekend.
Best of luck to you on Friday!!!
Thank you. I can't wait!
Hugs to you Layla! I will be watching for your updates too! Good luck to you! Be happy! No fear!

Tomorrow it's my turn

Hi everyone. I am overwhelmed with so many emotions today. I'm sad, afraid, excited, happy, worried, everything! I have had a horrible headache since yesterday. I had it all day and all night. I went for a chiropractic adjustment this morning to see if it would help. Either way, it was a good idea to get aligned before the big hunch which starts tomorrow.

I'm trying to clean my house and get it in order but I feel lonely and overwhelmed. I'm listening to Jeremy Camp radio on Pandora trying to lift my spirits and remind me of the love of my Savior. I keep crying and trying to pray about everything I feel and I can't focus enough to pray. I have been having uncomfortable feelings about my church recently and having doubts about it, not the gospel but the history of my church. I haven't gone in about 6 weeks.

I am really reflecting on my life and my place in this world today. Thinking about the depression and anxiety I have battled for so long and wondering if I am putting a Bandaid on it by having this surgery. I'm wondering if the surgery is something I have been using to distract myself from myself. I'm wondering if I even care about this tummy as much as I think. My head is everywhere so I came here to vent. These tears feel good. I am not one to cry but I keep crying today, especially now. I wish I could identify what in the world is happening to me right now.

Why does this house seem dirtier today than it ever has before? I feel like I am never going to have a chance to clean it ever again. I keep thinking about how much my family needs me and my heart is aching that I won't be able to care for them much in the next week. My son has been really tearful and clingy with me lately. I know he is scared. i try not to talk so much about the surgery but I can't help it. He had a total meltdown screaming at me and crying over a Halloween costume we were trying to pick out online. My head was hurting severely and I yelled back at him. What if I die and his last week of memories of me are of me being self-centered and mean to him? God, please don't let me die. Please let me care for my family again after all this. If I do make it, I hope to God I don't still think I am fat after all this. I wonder if I am going in there wanting a miracle this doctor can't deliver. I gained back the weight to the weight I was when I began this review. I'm so fricking pissed off at myself for not trying harder and for medicating my anxiety with food. Such a bunch of crap.

This isn't the typical day before surgery review is it? I'm sorry. I have nobody to talk to. I should really be getting my house ready right now. I wish my headache would stop. I wish I had an appetite. Wow, I have spent so much money on this surgery and supplies!

I have the best husband in the world. I still don't get it why he is totally supporting me in doing this with the health risks. I really hope I can be strong and not let him down. I want to be a good wife to him today, not self-absorbed. We are going to the hotel in Utah tonight. Maybe I will bring a swimsuit and swim with him and my son and try to unwind tonight. I think this surgery is more overwhelming to me than my C sections, except with surgery I can recover and rest instead of putting a baby first and waking up every 2 hours at night.

The drains....oh those drains. Can't even get over the idea of having those hanging out of me. I hope they aren't hanging out of me for long. I hope I can sleep. I hope the meds don't make me sick. I hope my wardrobe works. I hope the guys can get to stuff in the freezer because it is PACKED!

I think I need to change the Pandora station to my workout tunes and lighten up and clean this place and pack. Well, thank you for letting me vent and cry and sort this all out in writing. I will keep you all posted. Tomorrow morning at 6:30 am, out comes the magic marker and then off we go! See you on the flat side! Much love. Thank you for following my story.
I hope you are doing well matea2. Mine went well on Friday. So far so good.
I look forward to all your pics and details katmtl35!
I'm thinking of you today. Praying it all went well and that you are recovering nicely.

New pics. I did it!

Hello, I had my full TT Friday. My meds have me pretty oit of it but I wanted to share pics. I will write more when I can see clearly and think clearly. I love the results! If it gets better than this, I am going to be thrilled. I dont lnow how to rotate the pics. They seemed upside down. Sorry!
You look fantastic! Loving your results so far. The recovery is a bit harder than I imagined. Wishing you a speedy recovery :)
Hey doll congrats making it to the other side! Your results are great. Well wishes & happy healings to you hun. *Be Blessed*
Thank you GMB for the good vibes!

Brain fog and swelling but I made it!

Hey ladies,

This is really blurry as I type it. I'm on Demerol and Phenergan presently. Surgery went very well. I checked into the surgical facility on Friday at 6:30 am. Surgery was around 4.5 hours if I heard correctly. I was sent to the hotel at 2:45. I don't recall going to sleep for surgery. I got up onto the bed. The anesthesiologist told me he put relaxing medication in my IV and that is it. I was out.

Between skin on my tummy and flanks with some lipo, 7 pounds was removed. The doc also found a mole on me and sent it for histology. I had no nausea, woke up smiling and chatting up the nurse. They cut the crotch out of my compression panties and mentioned that I could pee in a Dixie cup or mason jar. The dumbest thing I remember saying is "Welp, we are in Mormon country, should have no problem rounding up a mason jar". You know, Mormons can a lot of foods. I am still a little embarrassed about the comment though. I did just fine walking myself to and from the bathroom and using the toilet like a champ (or chimp?) this hunching has me feeling like a Heffalump!

My appetite has been small. I've had bananas, apples, protein shakes with pineapple, nuts, a PB&J sandwich, soup and a couple of brownies, of course. A friend made us dinner and brought really awesome brownies too.

So, day 3 following surgery, I did some laundry and unloaded the dishwasher. My husband kind of chewed me out about it but i don't even remember unloading the dishwasher. I have been totally loaded the past few days.

Pain is not so bad, unless I do too much. The swelling is ugly! I really need a nap now. Talk to you lovlies soon. Hope the rest of you are healing well or getting excited to have your surgeries!

Much Love!
Yay congratulations! Happy healing. Just take it day by day and before you know it you'll be feeling great.
You are totally right. Every day gets easier!
Woo! Glad you are doing well. You look so so good. That Mormon mason jar story is hilarious. Do try to rest as much as you can and nap, etc. I agree that the meds make you feel so gross. I was almost off of all pain meds by day 4 except for one at night, but I am finding I am still needing the Valium because my stomach muscles are just so tight! I am on Day 8 and still pretty swollen but it is going down a bit. No more unloading the dishwasher! Happy healing!
Dr Brian Brzowski

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