Got me a new body!

Since I found out my husband is okay with this (I never thought he would be), all I can think about is when I can get rid of the tummy skin that has held me back for years. My highest weight was 270 lbs, that was at the end of a pregnancy with a 10 lb, 11 oz baby. He was my third C-section. My skin stretched the most with him. Following his birth, over a few years, I was able to go from a tight size 16 to a size 6. I was 165 lbs as a 6. At that weight I was being called "tiny". I had no boobs and no butt. I was very insecure because I was always curvy before. I had lost the most weight on a diet I will not mention or promote here because I respect you all too much to intrigue you with it. I wouldn't do it again. Anyway, that would be my leanest weight. I had 20% body fat at that weight. I found out then that I have lots of hanging skin. My tummy looked like a nursing mama dog when I was in plank position. I was embarrassed about doing pilates, yoga or Body Pump in classes at the gym because I was thin but had this awful hanging belly. I had met my goal weight but was still miserable about my sagging belly skin. What was the point? So, I went back to the gym and ate well and started bodybuilding. I went up to 175 lbs and a size 8. I had a butt and muscles again. I liked it there. I stayed that size for about 2 years. I still would look in t the mirror during squats and see my belly resting on my thighs. I did lunges and it would hit my thighs. The bar would hit my tummy during deadlifts. I felt like a freak, thin but with an ugly belly. I have also started running and hate the way my underwear falls down under my tummy fold when I run. I am tired of adjusting my panties at the gym. What the heck?

I work out 5 or 6 days per week doing HIIT cardio and weight lifting. I sit at a desk 40 hours per week so I have to stay active at the gym. Anyway, the last year was stressful. I gained weight despite exercising faithfully. I also found out my thyroid medication was in need of adjustment. I have PCOS too and was starving and craving carbs all the time so I decided to go back on metformin to get my weight back down. It helps control blood sugar levels. I'm 188 lbs and in a size 10 or 12 now. I think I would be content in an 8 or 10 forever if I could just ditch this awful hanging belly. My size 8's fit right now if I hold up my belly. I am aiming for a full tummy tuck. I am trying to get back to 175 lbs before surgery because I am very fit at that weight.

First I want a tubal ligation but I am not sure of the cost. I have to wait until August 21 for a consultation. If the price is too high and I can't get it done ASAP, then hubby will have to get snipped. I would like to have 6 weeks in between tubal ligation and tummy tuck surgery. I am not a candidate for Essure. I want my tummy tuck in either October or November this year so I can heal up and get my gym routine going again by next summer. I am not telling anyone about the surgery and the cold months will allow me to wear clothes that will cover me up. I am so anxious to schedule my surgery but I have to consult with 2 docs in Utah first. I am checking out Dr Ralston and Dr Brzowski the last week of August. I wish I could go sooner. The wait is almost too much to handle.

Anyway, I am so happy to have found Real Self. I will connect on the calendar as soon as I schedule a date. I will have to post some pics later when I have time to take them. I am nervous about doing that but I appreciate that so many other people have done it and I know it helps. I will update later. I look forward to journaling my thoughts throughout the process.

So here's the belly. I can kind of dress around it but that lower flap really sucks. Can't wait to fix this up and have that flab be gone.

Well, now I am thinking I need to schedule my tummy tuck in the last two weeks of December. I usually have no work to do during the last 2 weeks of December and the first 2 weeks of January so I won't have to worry about my work being covered by someone else. I was trying to avoid holiday times due to my older kids being around but I don't even know if they will be coming to my place. They spend time with their dad sometimes. They are 17 and 18. One lives on her own now and the other with their dad. I think they both would judge me for the surgery even though they praised my weight loss and are proud their mom is a fitness freak who eats healthy now. I was thinking I could say I was having hernia surgery. Are any of you in this same boat? I'm so confused about what to tell them. There is that issue and the idea that I would have to travel in possibly very snowy roads in December or January and I can't get up into my husbands giant truck after surgery. Lots to think about I suppose. That would give me a few months to work out and lose more weight and get as fit as possible before surgery though. The results would be way better than if I had an October tummy tuck. I should really be working right now, not on here. Oops!