Sigh. Ten Years in the Thought Process - New York, NY

So, ten years in the thought process. 18 years ago...

So, ten years in the thought process. 18 years ago I lost 85 lbs. I was 30. I took it off within the span of a year. Then started an exercise program on my own in my house and walking outside. At 48 years old I am probably in the best shape of my life. 5'0 tall 120 lbs, lots of muscle. Just some left over "Stuff" that I can't seem to get rid of no matter how I train. Lifting, cardio, running. Crunches. Medicine ball....and of course a decent diet Monday-Friday. My children, 24 and 21 have had their college tuitions paid. Cars purchased. Husband was sent on the trip of a lifetime for his 50 th birthday and a party....so in my head I can now justify the 10,000 + this is going to cost me. Sort of. Full tummy tuck and lipo of the hips, inner and outer thighs and knees. I am a bit of a control freak and move at double speed so I'm in a bit of a panic. I'm struggling with the thought of down time. Not being able to orchestrate everything in the house. My job is a bit hectic but I can work from home part of the time im home and be somewhat sedentary if I need to be when I return 12 days after surgery. Oh the emotions. Frivolous. Vain. Things I could spend this money on instead of something elective. Feelings of Inadequacy that I can't be satisfied with myself. Panic. In a nutshell.

Ok 24 hours post op. no where near as awful as I...

Ok 24 hours post op. no where near as awful as I thought it would be. I was expecting today to be worse than yesterday. It's not. I'm sore as hell. Insides feel like they are on fire. Liposuction spots are sore. Hunched over like a 100 year old person. Stay on top of the pain meds. They told me every six hours. I'm doing 5. Helps!!!! Everyone says it. I find sitting up on the couch with my legs on a chair the easiest. I can use the arm of couch to help myself up. I have lots of help, which is the winding up to be one of the more difficult things for me. I'm not accustomed to having anyone do things for me. I'm the ultimate care giver here. I have to keep reminding myself they are just caring!!!! I've stopped crying as much. Less emotional after. No regrets now.

Guess today makes the start of 6 days post op. I'm...

Guess today makes the start of 6 days post op. I'm sore. As hell. My back is killing me!!!! Lipo incisions are the worst! What was once the strongest part of my body, my legs are now so unbelievably weak. Unreal and emotionally trying. I had my first real cry for no reason this morning. I'm guessing because I had expected to be much more mobile than I am. Still can't stand upright. Stopped the Percocet. 2 days ago....started the miralax, FINALLY went to the bathroom!! I know for sure the inside stitches are healed after that experience. That is on my list of the top 3 worst happenings thus far. Stressing over tomorrow PO visit. I don't want him to touch anything. Everything is feeling fine just the way it is!! I was lucky enough not to have drains so I don't think he even needs to take off the bandages yet. Getting out of and back in to my compression is totally stressing me.
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