Massive Dark Tattoo = Depressed - Newcastle Upon Tyne, GB

Hi guys, Well from reading many people's stories...

Hi guys,
Well from reading many people's stories on here I guess I am in the right place. Basically a couple of months ago I decided to get the start of a sleeve tattoo. I was lucky enough to get in with a great artist and I thought I had the design all planned out so I would love it. A few sessions in the chair and I am sitting here absolutely racked with regret and suffering terrible depression.
The tattoo is way darker and bigger than I imagined and I just think it looks awful on me. The artist has done a great job but I just don't want it on me.
I wake up every day hoping that it was all a bad dream and then spend all day in a deep depression about it. I used to be proud of my physique and arms but now I feel like I have ruined it all in one stupid decision. I look at photos before I got the tattoo and want to cry with frustration at myself. I am single and I think I have made myself so unattractive that nobody would find me desirable at all.The tattoo is all black ink which I hear is a positive for removal but the sheer darkness and size of it makes me doubt whether removal is even a possibility.
I am as low as I have ever been and don't feel like there is any way out of this. I have read about the Picosure system but I even that seems like a hit and miss procedure.
If only I could turn back time.

3 Comments

Hey there, it's a beautiful tattoo, sorry this is such a shock to you and that you are feeling like you made the wrong decision and suffering the side effects of intense regret. It's great that you found this community because it is filled with people going through different stages of removal and you will get lots of support here. I relate to your feelings, I had the same reaction to my tattoo and I reassure you  that you will find your way through this. Take it day by day and focus on putting things into perspective. Even though you feel like you have ruined your body, you have not done that. I understand that though, I must have said that daily, but I realized that there was a solution and that regardless if I still had my old tattoo, no tattoo, or the cover up I am working on now, I have not ruined my body. You have changed it, yes, you don't like it, but you have not ruined it. Keep your head up and most importantly take care of yourself and things will work themselves out. 

Be sure to check out our video section for more information on tattoo removal. 

Also you may find this interesting:
LASER TATTOO REMOVAL: 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE GETTING YOUR TATTOO REMOVED
Good luck and keep us posted. 
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i cant believe i did this to myself. but ive been trying to look at the positives of getting it and that makes me a lil more at ease with the situation im going to try laser as soon as i get some money
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i know excatly how you feel if you look at my reviews youll see how much regret i have with my tattoo. but i too would look at pics of me before i got the tattoo and just cyr and cry and cry
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Another pic

Just another pic to see the tattoo now it has the background

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Hi there. I see that Eva G has alerted you to my new review. I definitely felt for you after reading your story. I too started a sleeve project that I discontinued and decided to get lasered off. Though our tattoos are not exactly the same, I hope you'll get an idea of the process of getting a dark sleeve removed. Let me know if you have any questions and hang in there!
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Hey there, wanted to be sure to link you to this new review - have a look:
47 YEARS OLD AND TRYING TO REMOVE MY MAINLY UPPER ARM SLEEVE IN BLACKWORK - SAN FRANCISCO, CA
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i think your tattoo looks amazing! but if it doesn't make you happy you have a lot of support here! i know how you feel i also got a huge black tattoo that I am very depressed about and deeply regret! i know how you feel about waking up and hoping it was a bad dream! but the tattoo doesn't defined you as a person! i am sure it can be removed, black is the best to remove! good luck to you!
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Thank you all

Hi,
Firstly may I thank you all for your lovely supportive comments. As I'm sure you all know only too well, being in this position is extremely hard, possibly the hardest period I have ever been through. The fact that I am single and don't really have any support in the real world means that this means all the more to me. I apologise for not replying sooner but I have been in such a bad place that I couldn't even bring myself to pick up my phone or computer never mind try to communicate.
I have a free consultation with Laserase in my home town on Saturday (http://www.laserasenewcastle.co.uk/) just to see what they have to say. I don't hold much hope though because I have seen and read so many stories of people struggling for years and spending thousands to get rid of tattoos a lot smaller and lighter than mine. I don't think I've seen a case study where a large and dark tattoo has actually been removed fully either. I am currently thinking I am stuck with it and should try to learn to love it. I used to be proud to show off my physique but now I just want to wear long sleeves and hide. I am not ashamed to say I also have an appointment booked next week with a therapist to try to help my depression.
Also - As I mentioned on the first post, my tattoo goes round on to the inside of my bicep, I have attached a photo of that part too. As I said the artist is a genius but why did I get this on my skin?
I currently feel as low as I think I could, surely it can only get better?

30 Comments

Hey thats some good work, but if You want it off find some place that has The Quanta Q-Plus premium laser. It is the best laser. I did 4 treatments on a 10 inch trible design on my right arm at Tattoo Remorse in santa fe NewMexico and it is almost gone. I will try to put up pictures when I find out how. This is my first time on here. Good luck remember it takes time like every 6 weeks between sessions.
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Good to hear you've had success with the Quanta. I'm receiving treatment with that laser too now. Are you going for complete removal or a coverup?
Thanks for the comment. So is that laser comparable to the picosure?

Day before laserase consultation

Well my first ever removal consultation is tomorrow morning. I still feel as regretful and depressed about the tattoo as I did when I posted this originally. I don't have high hopes for tomorrow and kind of expect to just see a nurse or something rather than a real expert. I am not making any decisions tomorrow at all, I just want to see what they say. I've been wondering if it would be more realistic to think about getting part of the tattoo removed rather than all of it. But then the part I want gone the most is the biggest part (the icarus).
I've attached another photo of the whole thing. I like the chest one and wish I had stopped after that. When I look at it now I just think it all looks a mess and ugly.
So depressed. Sorry if this was a rant more than update. Thank you all for your support, it's so appreciated.

7 Comments

I think your tattoo looks amazing, however - it's all about how you feel in the end. I am so sorry that you are really struggling with your feelings, I heard something today that was pretty powerful "It's not your condition it's your decision" These were the words spoken from a man in Australia, Sam Cawthorn, he was in a head on collision, pronounced dead, was resuscitated and spent over 5 months in the hospital, lost his right arm, right leg is mostly metal inside, and he was told he would never walk again, as well as never play the guitar again (he is a musician) He said that his friend came to see him in the hospital and he was discussing that he will never do the things he loves again, his friend said to him "It's not your condition it's your decision" Today he is walking, playing guitar, and thriving and inspiring others, you an watch him on youtube. He admits the accident was his fault, he fell asleep at the wheel, he has made a decision to overcome the conditions that limited his life and he is absolutely correct and living proof that no matter what life challenges are thrown at you, whether it be family troubles, loss of job, illness, we have the choice to be happy and move forward. Every single person in this world has issues, no matter how perfect their life might seem on the outside, so big deal.... your's shows on your skin, others have issues or have made mistakes that may not show on their skin but they still have to deal with it. You can be happy again, I know you can. 
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Hey bro I just joined and I've felt connected to your story because I feel the exact same way. I've always tried to stay active and workout and was always proud of my body until what I call... "the decision." I feel your pain, trust me. One thing I can tell you is to take your consultation for what its worth. I've had one place tell me that white ink was never a problem for them, and a different place tell me how screwed I am. Regardless what they say, you still have choices. Ask all the questions you can and just get a feel for the place. I really liked the first place I went, but I still kept looking around before I committed. Keep in mind I've not had any treatments yet, just trying to send some good vibes your way my guy.
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It looks great to me, but I know how you feel... I think lasers do work on some but time and patience and money is required. When I had mine in the past removed the outcome wasn't what I expected or hoped for BUT that was a few years ago and the machines are so much better now... Do consider giving yourself time to adjust to the tattoo though and how it sits with you... On men, tattoos are so much more accepted and you do have some good artwork there. Sometimes I think acceptance and learning to love yourself mistakes and all is the key but hey, we wouldn't be here if it were as simple as that... I'm still very scared about embarking on removal again as I have too much layered ink- i think- but I take a huge amount of hope from all the postiveness and progress that people have made here... Good luck with your decision and remember you are still beautiful, have a fantastic working and breathing body and your whole life is for the living... Don't let some ink get you down- You and your mind are so much more than that... When I see people really ill, the things that matter certainly aren't their tattoos- and all the people who love them don't care either... Good luck for tomorrow, let us know how you get on... x
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Consultation as I expected

Firstly thanks again for your support guys. It is always good to know I can log on here and find such a great group of people who understand what I am going through.
So I had the consultation with Laserase yesterday. It was pretty much as I expected. I had to be realistic with the size of the tattoo so I asked about removing the part that I am not happy with the most which is the Icarus piece on my arm. Ideally I want it all off but this seems mission impossible. The nurse said that for just the Icarus piece it would take around 10 treatments, 12 weeks apart and would cost £250 per session. So we're talking over 2 years and £2500 for something that she couldn't even guarantee a full removal on. She showed some photos of other treatments but they were all really old photos from almost 15 years ago and all were of small tattoos, nothing even similar to mine. I asked about the Picosure laser and if she thought it was worth travelling for and her response was that their laser operator had travelled to look at it and wasn't impressed with it. I don't know how much to believe her, I mean at the end of the day it's a private company who are wanting my business. I would be interested to see what a picosure expert would say about the amount of treatments/time it would take to treat my tattoos.
Despite me expecting to hear what she said I still came out of there absolutely devastated.
Just to make matters worse, my car decided to break on the same day and then today I have a £2000 bill from my utility supplier after they messed up my bills. I have heard people say that they hit rock bottom before but I really think I'm there. Absolutely sick.

34 Comments

I'm so sorry your consultation didn't go as well as you had expected. As for the car and utility bills, it really sounds like life is throwing all it can at you. These things always get better with time so stay strong pal! I hope you won't mind but, I have to refer to Jake's tattoo again; his tattoo was so huge and dark and most of his shading was cleared in one or two Picosure treatments. Our bodies vary, and of course the opinions of those on here, but I really think you would benefit more from a Picosure laser based on the results I have seen others have. While the q-switched is effective on black, if you have shading I think it could be wiped out very quickly with Picosure, and just think about how much better you could feel when the tattoo isn't so dense? I think it's the darkness of it that's bothering you so much? Good luck whatever your decision. :-)
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Hey Chad, cheers for the reply. Yeah it just seems to be one thing after another for me currently, woke up this morning and my Sky TV box was dead too. Where will it end!!? Sorry for my ignorance but I am still struggling to know what the difference between shading and not shading is. I'm looking at my tattoo wondering. A lot of is is very dark black and the ink appears thick to look at it, surely that means it will be harder to budge?
You have every right to be angry, and I have found that it is definitely good to vent occasionally. It's one of the toughest things to go through and it's even harder that we put ourselves in the mess in the first place. Perhaps you could visit a Picosure clinic just for a consultation first? If someone has a Picosure laser then I think they would have to be very good at their job in the first place. They could treat a small area and then maybe you could see how the black fades? I'm sure they could tell you which parts are shading as well. Hope this helps, don't give up hope!

Still going...

Hey everyone, thanks again for all the support, I'm so glad I found this place!
I am still wishing that I could get this tattoo from my arm however I have been trying to hit this head on.
Firstly some positives: I have challenged myself by wearing a vest to the gym on occasions rather than cover it up. When I did I was looking at the tattoo in the mirror and I could really appreciate the detail in the clock face on my shoulder. I have forced myself to keep wearing short sleeves.
I am wondering if I could live with leaving the clock face and trying to either clear just my arm or have it faded enough so I can have a more subtle and lighter cover up.
I also posted a photo of the tattoo on my Facebook page for the first time and it got really positive responses.
The artist advertised on social media as his books were opening again for bookings, he used photos of both the outside and inside of my arm on his ad. His work is all amazing so the fact he chose that shows how proud he is of the work. By the way, his books were filled for the next 6 months within a few hours - he's that good which makes me feel even worse about how I feel!
Negatives are that I still hate seeing the tattoo on me, in my reflection or in photos. I find myself sitting staring at my arm wondering how it will look if I get it lasered and struggling to imagine it being able to be shifted!
I went out last night with some people from work and there were a couple of photos of me and I absolutely HATED how the tattoo looked. I have attached a couple of photos to this update, please ignore the pink boa, I have no idea where that came from!!
As I said on Chad's comments, I have been in touch with Wayne from the Removal Rooms and he was extremely helpful. He estimated that my tattoo would take about 6 to 9 months to remove on the Picosure and about 5 sessions. I am going to wait until September to make a final decision - that way it will have been on me 3 months which is how long some laser technicians say to wait. It also will be more long sleeve weather so I can hide it if it looks too bad!
Thanks for reading - again, all the support on this site is amazing.

8 Comments

Hello, I am currently removing a very dense blackwork half sleeve (it's good art but it did not turn out AT ALL how I wanted it to). I just wanted to say the removal process is not as bad as I thought it would be. I was depressed for about 2 weeks after getting the tattoo in the first place, and after reading this forum I thought I would be even more depressed during the healing process. But now I've got one treatment down (q-switched laser) and I feel in a very good place emotionally. Feels great to have finally gotten the ball rolling. So just because the tattoo itself caused a great deal of anguish doesn't necessarily mean the removal process will be depressing! I also waited a good 3+ months before getting my first treatment so I think it's good you're waiting. Let it really settle in your skin, and make a well thought out decision! Definitely try to enjoy it in the mean time. Glad you're feeling comfortable showing it in public. Good luck.
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This is why this forum is so spectacular; people here not only know what it's like to experience ink regret, but we know how to support others going through the process. Jiapet, your words are amazingly supportive.
Congrats on being brave to show your tattoo. I know I have said before that I like the tattoo, it does really look great on you, especially with the pink boa ;) 

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Decision made

Hey all. Hope everyone is alright. I have been getting on with things the best I could and taking the time I needed to consider my next move. And I have decided, I am going down to London to see Wayne at the removal rooms next month (actually on my birthday!). I have my long sleeved shirts all sorted and ready for the next stage of my life but I am hoping it will make me feel better.
I have decided to just get the arm part lasered, leaving the clock face on my shoulder...for now... I will see how well the ink reacts to the picosure before I decide if I am going for full removal or just to fade it all the way down for a much lighter and more subtle cover up. Obviously I will need it tidied up by a tattoo artist either way. I have sent Wayne more photos of my tattoos and he seems confident we will get good results, his instagram photos showing his work is encouraging.
I am hopeful of a good reaction as a lot of my tats are made up of shading and not that much linework. I'm sh*tting myself that it will end up looking worse and I will end up even more depressed but I guess there's only one way to know for sure!

10 Comments

Thank you for keeping us in the loop, I wish you all the best with your removal. 
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Hey! Glad you made a decision! It is going to be a long way, but in the end it is worth it! I never regreted starting the removal. Today I am going to have my 4th treatment! It will all get better!
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good luck with your first treatment! i have a consultation this week to remove a barbed wire-esque tattoo i got at 16... now I realise it was never a gd idea lol! It will be a long and painful process for us all. Keep ur chin up :)
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I been zapped

Well I am now part of the laser club and have began my journey. Last Thursday I went down to London on the train to see Wayne at the Removal Rooms to start my Picosure blasting.
I will try to keep all the boring details of my day out of the review and keep it to what people want to know! However....the Oreo cheesecake at Hard Rock Cafe is so good - one armed or not!
Anyway, The Circle where the Removal Room is based is cool. Pretty much what you'd expect from a tattoo studio. It was clean and friendly and had a good atmosphere. Easy to find too.
Wayne met me at the door and was extremely welcoming and friendly. Very nice guy indeed.
I went on and filled in a general form about my health etc and then went into the Picosure room with Wayne. We spent probably half an hour going through the procedure, how the laser worked, the worst case scenarios possible and what would likely happen. A lot of time was spent talking about aftercare too. Very important stuff. He told me he had the new boost software on the pico which I think is a good thing! We both agreed the best and most realistic course of action was for a reduction as much as possible to get a lighter cover up that I am happy with.
And onto the lasering....For the people who say it hurts more than getting tattooed - I disagree. It is maybe on par with getting the white highlights put into your tattoos. Similar pain but slightly sharper. Plus the fact it is much quicker makes it much better.
Wayne lasered my whole Icarus piece and the eyes piece on my inner bicep. At this point I will admit the inner arm hurt more than the other parts!
Once it was done it felt like my arm was on fire, we went through the aftercare stuff again and I was all wrapped up and on my way.
I felt sick with the ache and heat for the rest of the day (didn't stop me getting the cheesecake!) and the tube journey to Kings Cross was not fun!
The day after I took off the dressing hoping not to have blistered and...oh....man had I blistered...like a bitch! I had not seen blisters like this before in my life. All of the worst ones you've probably seen doing your research on this topic, mine were worse! Also my arm was swollen almost twice the size of the other one. After a short panic and a few emails to Wayne who told me hang on in there I kept strapping it up for the next few days afterwards. Let me tell you, the aftermath is HARD! I am so glad I took a week off work. I would recommend anyone else does too. At least!
It is now 6 days later and pretty much all of the blisters have shrivelled. The whole thing is still red as hell and feels like a really bad sunburn. The swelling has gone down but is still noticeable.
I have not done any exercise for a week and this has almost killed me as I normally go to the gym every day.
The important part - has any ink came out? Yes it has. The light shading seems to have been wiped out by the pico, the dark bits look the same but obviously I know they should fade with time.
Now I've been through it I realise the trauma that your skin goes through for the process. I will be looking at at least December before even considering doing it again to let my skin forgive me and recover. I hope the next time won't be as bad...but it probably will. At least I know what to expect.
Post lasering I was very very down, wondering what I had done to myself (again!) mostly because the blisters were so shocking and I was basically housebound. I live alone so dressing my arm was a friggin challenge!
I am feeling better about it now it is starting to heal though. Another positive is that I emailed my tattoo artist and explained the situation. I wanted him to hear from me rather than stumble over it on another site or instagram or something. Thankfully he was great about it and even said he would be happy to do whatever coverup I decide to go with.
I will post photos when the redness has gone down. Any questions feel free to ask.
Cheers for listening guys.

26 Comments

I'm sort of in the same position atm, I got a huge Tattoo on my forearm (inner wrist to elbow), done by a world renown artist, and people keep telling me how beautiful it is. But I just can't get used to it being on my forearm, in such a visible place. Had it for 2 months now, and I'm currently seeing a psychologist because I've fallen into a heavy depression. Have alot of anxeity attacks, but they are further appart now, than before. I've decided to atleast wait until after Xmas, before I decide on anything, and the fact that you can't get Picosure in my country yet (and the clinics I've talked to, who do not have picosure, tell me I shouldn't get Picosure, because it is "untested", #salestrick?) All the best, and know that you aren't alone!
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Hi Erlstar, I am sorry you are struggling with your new tattoo, I am glad you are giving yourself some time to sort through this and talking to a specialist is very helpful - kudos to you for reaching out for help. I am glad you found us for additional support and hope you share your story too. There are so many different lasers on the market, here is a video that you may find helpful: 
aloha Erlstar, I'm so glad that you brought up depression following the ink regret. This is common, but often not spoken of. There is a mixture of feelings: guilt, depression, and anxiety. We are often our own worst enemy. I met with a professional removal technician who told me that depression follows through this process, it's our way of dealing and healing during the process. Yes, Picosure is the new machine, but it may not work for everyone. Removal is a gamble, it depends on the technician's experience, the machine removing the ink, the ink itself (it's not regulated), the experience of the tattoo artist, and the individual with the ink (including their immune system). There are so many variable it is almost overwhelming. But there is hope, I pushed through with my removal despite all these fluctuating variables, because I was worth the gamble. We all are. Good luck to all of us going through this process. Be kind to yourself. aloha...k

Update with photos

Well it's been a few weeks since my lasering now so it's time to share some photos with you all.
The skin is still itchy as hell and kind of bumpy but all scabs and blisters have gone. As I thought would happen, the lighter shaded parts of the tattoo have been pretty much cleared (I say pretty much because it's still pink so hard to be 100% sure all the ink has gone yet). The deep blacks are being more stubborn but will hopefully fade more over the next couple of months before I go again. Remember I'm not going for full removal but for a reduction on just the arm enough to get a lighter cover up. The clock face is staying.

13 Comments

Wonderful progress! Congrats on checking off your first session. It gets easier each time...best of luck!
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An amazing progress. If the darkness of the art and not the art itself was your problem i think its really close to be solved. the icaros part shading is almost cleared of shading and the part of the face as well. basically its mostly outline left and only after one session!
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Great progress! 
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Removal Rooms, London

Wayne at the Removal Rooms is possibly the only person I would trust with this. He knows so much about it - it is all he does for a living. Right from the start he explained EVERYTHING including worst case scenario and there was no pressure at all to go ahead with it. Also one of the nicest blokes you could ever meet. The Circle where it is based is clean and friendly and the laser room is seperated off and in a nice (very cold) air conned room.

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