A tattoo I've wanted ended up being a tattoo I'd rather forget.

Hi guys! We all have a story of how we got to the point of tattoo regret and/or removal, and well, here's mine:

After years of wanting a tattoo but fearing the commitment/pain that comes with getting one, I decided to finally suck it up and get inked! I knew exactly what I wanted because I've been talking about it for as long as I could remember... An anchor to honor my grandfather who was in the Navy. I also wanted to "mark" my body to commemorate a new chapter in my life after a drastic weight loss and lifestyle revamp.

Despite being recommended several tattoo shops in NYC, I thought it would be exciting to get the tattoo while I was on a weekend getaway (Mistake #1), so I found a tattoo shop nearby with pretty good reviews, and just like that, found myself there on January 23rd.

I had finally settled on the anchor design that I wanted and was ready for that needle to hit my skin.
The tattooist recommended I go slightly bigger on the design so the detail in the rope would be visible, which made me quickly rethink the placement I originally wanted (Mistake #2). Instead of getting it a couple of inches above my wrist, I decided to get it right below the crease of my forearm.

After he was done tattooing the outline, I actually really liked the way it looked and decided to not fill it in.

I wasn't too thrilled about the placement I chose, but I was willing to look passed it because I was just so excited.

A week went by, my excitement wore off and I started to observe the tattoo more clearly... And, that's when I realized it was asymmetrical and the placement of it was actually not something I was able to look passed.

The friends I showed it to did not think it was all that bad (I'm sure to them, I was just being overly dramatic), but it didn't matter... It was on MY body staring right back at me. I don't want a tattoo to knock down the confidence and self-esteem I worked so hard on regaining this past year... and that's exactly what it is doing.

So, once the tattoo fully healed, I decided to go to a different tattoo artist to try and salvage it.

And as I was sitting there, in the spur of the moment, I asked him to extend the rope and add a RED HEART to the bottom of it to add some "character" to the piece (Mistake #3).

I left the shop unsure of the outcome. On one hand, the artist did a decent job covering the asymmetry as best he could... On the other hand, the extended rope and heart looked completely inconsistent with the rest of the tattoo.

I thought about adding a black outline around the heart to try to make it look better, but how many more times can I possibly retouch this tattoo in hopes that I'll grow to like it?

I can't move it down a few inches, so what's the point in trying to "fix" the look when I can't even fix the placement?

I've become neurotic about it... self-conscious about it... And I'm even losing sleep over it. I spend HOURS scouring the internet looking at other anchor tattoos to try to reassure myself that mine isn't "all that bad," but it's hard to change how I feel.

In a nutshell, the tattoo that I wanted and the tattoo that I got are two different things. Looking at it only makes me think of all of the "what if's" that I can't do anything about.

I'm EMBARRASSED that the tattoo that I've been talking about for years ended up nowhere near the way I had envisioned it. I'm ashamed to admit this to my family, the person I was with when I got the tattoo, and to the rest of my friends.

So, with my mind set, I booked a consultation with Jessica Krant in NYC to see about possibly getting picosure to start fading this sucker... I'm not sure if I'm going to tell anyone about this until I have my first treatment, but I know that I want to get 1-2 treatments before the summer and use the summer to work on naturally fading it.

My current dilemmas are:

1) Do I get an outline around the heart before starting treatment in my last attempt to try to make it look better, or stop adding on to it? Even though I'm certain I want this thing zapped, I'd rather "complete" the tattoo before starting treatment so I can be less self conscious when/if it's out in the open in between sessions.

2) Do I aim for a complete removal, or just fade it for a cover up? Placement is a big factor in why I regret my tattoo... Would I really like something else in its place? I'm just antsy to get rid of it.

Anyways, I'll keep you all posted on what I decide to do, but in the meantime, I THANK YOU for reading my story and telling yours. I'll be a regular on these boards for the next few months, so please do not be a stranger -- drop a note to say hello and reassure me that I'm not alone :)