Completely Unsure

The story of my nose:

I broke my nose as a child by running into a pole with a bolt sticking out of it (yep) in my elementary school playground. I was playing tag and next thing I knew I was bloody all over and all of my friends started crying just from looking at me. I went to the hospital and got 8 stitches. This led to a bump on my nose which I've obviously hated ever since. I actually never had a problem with my "droopy bulbous tip" until I started lurking here. I had no idea I even had a droopy bulbous tip but now I definitely do. Now, my nose isn't something that just slightly bothers me. It's something that has really affected my life, considering there are days where I don't even want to leave my house because of it. I know I sound superficial by saying that and I'm very ashamed of feeling like that. When I look in the mirror all I see is my nose, and each year my repulsion only grows. None of my friends really know I have this attitude towards my nose because I don't ever want to bring any (extra) attention to it.

In fact, none of my friends even know I'm doing this. No one in my family either. I've been telling my mother since I was 12 that I wanted a nose job and my mom is against it she nearly cries every time I mention it, but mostly just yells at me and tells me I'm being ridiculous. Recently I asked her if I hypothetically got a nosejob if she would let me stay at her house during recovery and she said absolutely not. I literally haven't told a soul which is a problem because I need an adult to accompany me home in 3 days. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed by all of this, but reading the reviews here is definitely helping me.

I am beyond stressed out right now honestly and I just pray it will all go well. Don't even get me started on my money situation...... I just hope I don't get fired for taking a couple weeks off. But maybe that would maybe be a blessing in disguise.

I will talk about the doctor and all that stuff after the procedure is done. I feel weird discussing the doctor before anything happens.

Surgery is tomorrow morning. As usual I left all preperation till the last minute and I'm stressing and freaking out. Wish me luck! I hate typing on my phone otherwise I'd write more.

Told my boyfriend two days before the surgery. He was really supportive and kept saying he loves my nose the way it is and wasn't being judgemental. He was just surprised because I sprung it on him out of nowhere and he had no idea I hated it so much. I cried because of how embarrassed I was and he was sweet about it. Kept saying things about how he never thought I'd be the kind of person to get plastic surgery which embarrassed me more but I need to keep reminding myself that I broke my original nose.

Day of surgery: the nurses and anesthesiologist were really kind. I was laying on the table ready to change my mind because of how scared I was but then before I knew it I was waking up and the surgery was over. I just remember talking too much, saying embarrassing stuff, talking about my cat? Jesus.

My boyfriend was there to take me home by cab which made me extremely sick. The anesthesiologist warned me I might puke blood and not to worry if I did. Well we were outside my building and I couldn't wait a single second longer and started hurling water with chunks of blood right in front of the entrance. Cute.

I didnt take any pain medication at all since the surgery. I am in extreme discomfort and I want nothing more than for this to be over but I'm not experiencing much pain. I can't breath through my nose at all and sleeping is nearly impossible.

Day after surgery: had gotten maybe 10 minutes of sleep the whole night, it was awful. Took out the packing at around noon which wasn't painful but was terribly uncomfortable and gross. I felt like I was pulling tapeworms out from my brain. Swelling and bruising is getting worse. I am super emotional and depressed to be honest. I am so uncomfortable.

Today: was able to sleep a bit more last night. I am now even more swollen. I wonder how bad my swelling would be if it weren't for the arnica cream and tablets. I keep reading reviews trying to find out when Ill be able to breath again. My nose looks extremely tiny which is scaring me but I don't want to fret just yet.

This is going to be the longest week of my life. I want this to be over so badly. I wish i had my mothers support so I could be with her. My dude is taking good care of me and is actually here more often than I want him to be. But for some reason I just want to be with my mom even though we aren't very close/don't get along too well. I want this to be over.

Ok I am annoyed about a bunch of shit but thankfully the shape of my new nose isn't one of those things. I will get into it more when I finally have computer access.

For now can some one tell me what the deal is with this scab being on my nose? It's deep. I've never seen anyone on here with one and its bugging me out. I'd ask my doctor but I haven't seen him since the day of the surgery.

Also thank you for all the comments and I promise to reply when Im not on my phone!!

As far as I know most people have no idea I did anything so I would like to stay as private as possible. I wish I could share more with you guys and I would in a heart beat if RealSelf had a more strict policy (making people log in to see reviews, maybe?). So for now I will share photos by sharing my Instagram through private messages. Anyone who wants to see them can, so long as your profile isn't blank. I'm a paranoid monster :)

I am one month post op - ah!

So the first week post op was absolute hell for me. I was miserable and I couldn't breath through my nose and as a result I couldn't sleep more than 10 minutes at a time for over a week. I did not see my doctor the day after surgery (unlike a lot of the reviewers here..) which I think made it more difficult because I was extra nervous about certain things not being normal. He did however call me the next day, which was nice. I had an appointment with the doctor 1 week from the surgery date and I showed up all excited to have my cast removed and nose suctioned so I could BREATH. Lo and behold, my boyfriend and I show up for the appointment, and my doctor isn't there. No doctors are there. No apology. Just "whoops, I guess he forgot to inform you!" I was really upset but acted like everything was fine because I suck. Anyone else would have flipped their shit. The receptionist, Vanessa, took off my cast (which didn't hurt) and she did a good job but underneath my cast was a huge ugly deep scab. And my doctor wasn't there to tell me what to do about it/if it was normal/anything. Vanessa also took out my stitches which also did not hurt. She did a good job with everything but I was still bummed not to see my doctor especially because I desperately wanted my nose to be suctioned so I could breath. I wasn't going to see him until a week after that day, 2 weeks post op.

When my cast first came off I was honestly really freaked out by how everything looked. I was so crusty and booger-y and greasy and scabby that I barely looked at the shape of my nose. I felt hideous and wanted to continue my hide-out. I kept worrying that it looked super fake. A positive note: my bruising was already completely gone by 1 week post op. I think the arnica stuff did wonders.

That night I emailed my doctor with a photo of my scab. He told me he's never seen that happen before with his rhinoplasty patients and while that scared me I also liked the fact that he was totally honest. He called me that night or the night after (can't remember) and talking to him made me feel much, much, better.

3 days later I got my nose suctioned from a different doctor. A very unpleasant experience... they spray gross stuff that gets to your throat and tastes awful for a while and poke a metal stick super far up your nose it feels like it's touching your brain. However I felt a million times better afterwards. At 9 days post op, I finally had my first night of sleep and time started to go by quicker.

I still have no idea whether or not I like my new nose. I love it from some angles and am super freaked out by other angles. One of my nostrils is significantly larger/higher than the other. I thought maybe only I would notice but the first thing my mom said when she saw it was "why is one bigger than the other??" Also a bump is forming on the bridge of my nose. The bone feels large but you don't notice it much. I'm not too upset about it but I just worry it'll get larger. Overall my nose is super small so I can't tell if it has swelling. It is also so so so so so damn greasy all the time.

My tip is very numb but I am getting used to it. I can breathe out of my nose fine now which is a miracle because part of me was scared I'd never be able to breathe again because so many reviewers can breathe just fine the next day.

Soon I will post a list of things I needed for recovery!

Time really starts to fly the more you get used to your new nose. I had my 6 week post op visit today and the doctor was actually there! Haha. Can any of you tell me what's supposed to happen during a post-op visit? Because for me it's super brief and seems almost pointless.

I really go back and forth with liking my nose. This morning I was freaking out and filling with regret over not researching more doctors first (I regret not consulting with Dr. Ciardullo, he has so many amazing reviews and the prices seem the same as mine!). I also took some photos and in one the flash accidentally went off and I was slightly horrified with the result.

Then I remind myself to look at photos of my old nose and I can't deny for one second that the new one isn't 100 times better. I am also just so grateful that I can breathe well now because I was terrified I would never properly breathe through my nose again.

I really really just want to tell anyone who is considering rhinoplasty: please, please, please only do it if your nose is something that completely consumes your thoughts. When 90% of the people commenting on your posts are saying your nose is perfect the way it is, it's probably perfect the way it is!! Rhinoplasty is a very scary thing and so many things can go wrong and while recovering you will suddenly think everyone of those things will happen to you. If you are certain you want to do it, research every possible thing and ask hundreds of questions. Go to many consults. If your favorite surgeon charges more than you can afford, save up for another year or two. While I still don't know if I regret my surgeon, I wish I had saved more for comfort while I recovered because I am now back to nothing.


None of my friends have noticed anything different even when I ask "do you notice anything different?" they are all clueless. My mom and my boyfriend both say my new nose isn't any better than my old one which I know they say to be nice and imply that my old one was fine but when they say that it really just freaks me out that my new one is just screwed up in different ways. I am posting some photos and hopefully will get some opinions (negative opinions are totally welcome, I need to know if I'm the only one who sees the flaws!). Again, I have plenty more (uncensored) photos on instagram for anyone who is interested.

Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone for your support.

P.S. I am 22 years old just incase anyone is wondering.

No but really what usually happens in post op appointments? How long do they last for you guys?