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POSTED UNDER Breast Implants REVIEWS

Ashamed - Naples, FL

ORIGINAL POST

Hi! I'm a 24 (not really, but I won't put my real...

CCMommaOctober 19, 2012
$4,800

Hi! I'm a 24 (not really, but I won't put my real age in writing) year old mom of two - 22 months and 8 months. I have always had very small breasts and a larger body. I wear a size 10, which is now tighter around the middle after the babies! :) there may be a tummy tuck sometime in my future but not yet...

After my older one was born, I tried to breastfeed and was unable to. He was unable to regain his birth weight and I had to start supplementing. I knew something was wrong from the beginning because all during my pregnancy my breast never got ANY bigger at all and when my milk came in, they were full but still small. After the first couple hours of engorgement they deflated, never to fill again. I tried so hard, I slept with him on me, I help him all day, there was never a time when milk was unavailable to him. I pumped, I called every lactation person, every doctor, midwife, everyone! I did everything I could but it jus never happened. I finally had to switch completely to formula because the milk (even though I pumped and pumped and nursed and nursed) dwindled away. I felt so terrible.

I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was 5 months old. I prepared myself to not be able to breastfeed her but I still tried. She was an EAGER sucker and everyone assured me that she was so aggressive there was no way that the milk wouldn't work this time. But, it happened again. I even took a prescription to try to increase but it didn't work. I. Fact, she lost weight when I started taking that. I was even more ashamed that time.

Now I find myself unable to look at myself in the mirror much less enjoy time with my husband. I had considered breast implants several years ago but did not want to have the possibility of breastfeeding interference.

:(

It was one thing to have small breasts and feel like I have a ridiculously shaped body but another when the function they are to perform fails miserably. I have gotten over my ashamedness enough to realize I can embrace breast implants - I believe they will balance out my body and help me feel like a woman again.

I have my husband's full support and am nervous but excited to take this step. In have a consultation scheduled in two weeks! I can't wait!!

Replies (11)

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ticklemepink
October 20, 2012
Good luck. Keep us posted with your consultation :)
CCMomma
October 21, 2012
Thanks! I am so excited to go to the consultation. It seems like it will never get here!
SuzieQ0329
October 20, 2012
Hi CCMomma! I'm new on here too, I haven't posted my "story" yet, I've been reading everyone elses for the last month! First I just really wanted to say, please don't be so hard on yourself about not being able to nurse. It sounds like you really tried, and it's not always easy. I nursed my 3, and my oldest was really difficult. Second, good luck with your consultation! I look forward to hearing from you!
CCMomma
October 21, 2012
Thanks! Get your posts going ASAP so I can follow! :)
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Ericka123
October 20, 2012
Congratulations on the first steps to your new you! I absolutely love mine. I had everything go wrong from a double bubble to bottoming out, and after my corrective surgery, I absolutely love them! And I'm young with three children who never had my breasts get large with milk. I mean maybe when they were super engorged and I had a few drinks they might have been "big", but I just didn't know what that really meant until I got the implants :) I ended up going with 450 saline that was ove filled to 525. At Victoria secrets I was measured to be a 34d. But I totally could have done the 36c as well. So I had small boobies just like you. Ugh and breast feeding while wonderful, just plain isn't easy! It takes work and I too even tried reglan (prescription) to get my milk to come in... It was just so stressful. So don't be too hard on yourself. You did what you needed to do to make sure your children were getting everything they needed. And sometimes breast just isn't best. So.. Woohoo to you and I can't wait to hear more about your journey and all the wonderful things to come!
CCMomma
October 21, 2012
Hi Ericka123! Thanks for your kind words :) I read your story and it seems like now you are happy with the result even if it did take a revision to get there. I see that you got saline and I would like saline too for a number of reasons but in my research it seems that sometimes they are not recommended for small boobies because there's not enough tissue to cover the rippling that might occur. But you rock them - I'm glad you achieved the result you wanted. I don't know what I want mine to look like - I just want them to exist! I'd like to say I'd be happy with any result but I am glad that my surgeon can probably tell me better what will look the best for me. Thanks again and keep in touch :)
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breastochangeo
October 20, 2012
Breasts are for so much more than just nourishing a child, and being a fantastic mother is not dependent on your ability to breast feed. You have done everything you can to take care of your babies, and there is zero shame in that. I hope surgery will help restore your confidence, and that you can begin to appreciate your body for all of the things it is and does. Best of luck!
CCMomma
October 21, 2012
Hi! I have been following your story for a while now. Dare I say I'm "stars truck" that you messaged me? :) When you admitted to watching a zillion episodes of Lost on Netflix, I knew I had found a friend! Thank you for your encouraging words. IMHO, I think your breasts look great and from your posting style I think we may have similar personalities, so as someone who thinks like you, could I please ask you if you truly think the surgery wasn't worh it OR are you just temporarily frustrated with the result and you will be happy when the left one is resolved? I guess I mean, if the left one dropped into place would you change it to worth it or would you still have a nagging that you should have never done it? In hope that makes sense what I'm asking. I think your boobs look great, even if you are displeased with the left and have considered how I would feel if this happened to me. While I'd like to be scholarly and laid-back and say something like "we'll no boobs are perfect even after augmented and I will be perfectly happy just to have boobs that EXIST, even if they are not how I expected" because I know myself, I know that wouldn't happen. It would be more like "didn't I pay him thousands of dollars to anticipate this!" And then hate myself forever for my decision even though I mostly got what I wanted. Because really all I want is the availability to put them in my husband's face ;) Take care and thank you!
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breastochangeo
October 22, 2012
Well for starters, how friggin' cute you are! I'm glad you appreciated my message; sometimes I'm hesitant to post on pre-op reviews because so many ladies are stressing themselves out about potentially winding up with square boobs or having high-riders for months, and I feel like I'm the penultimate reminder of these possibilities. Fortunately, most people don't don't have a case as extreme as mine (aesthetically speaking), and were it not for the complications I've experienced, I do think I'd be very happy. The other good news is that even imperfect boobs are great for stuffing in a man's face. We could probably transplant our nipples onto potatoes and they'd still be happy to play with them. ;-P
random72
October 20, 2012
The ability to breast feed does not determine the type of mother you will be. There is a lot of pressure right now to breast feed due to studies and research done on the topic however many women cannot breast feed due to work schedules or simply choose to use formula. Please do not allow the social pressure to breast feed to make you feel guilty or shamed. You will be a great mother and your children are not being harmed by formula feeding.
CCMomma
October 21, 2012
Thank you for your encouraging words. I know I'm not a bad mom - it's just sometimes hard to find the woman within when I'm drowned in a sea of children's clothes needed to be folded, oatmeal splattered shirts, poopy diapers and messy hair. And at some point a thought of "wait, did I brush my teeth today?" ;) I hope this procedure will catapult me back to a pre-baby mindset, blissfully unaware of my breasts inability to produce. In fact, they're fired! Out with the old and in with the new!
UPDATED FROM CCMomma

Blah! My husband and I are in San Francisco this...

CCMommaOctober 21, 2012
Blah! My husband and I are in San Francisco this week. We arrived yesterday and had a long plane trip here. This morning we went to church, met some great people and had a long touristy day. I'm jet-lagged and sleepy! But I thought I would post some things anyway.

I decided to buy a VS miraculous bra so I could see what it would be like to have something of a chest. Not that a bra helps that much but an idea at least. I have been wearing it for a couple weeks everywhere I go which I feel does balance out my body as much as it can (it helps with giving me some size around the bottom but absolutely no cleavage, so at times you can totally tell I'm wearing a bra because there's nothing in there - sigh). I have noticed that postal workers, cashiers, taxi drivers, etc etc are all nicer to me now. You could argue that these workers are supposed to be nice anyway - yes they are, but are they really overly nice usually? That's what I thought...

And then I started thinking that maybe I don't need this surgery after all. Could I live my life in a VS bra and save myself the 5k? Hmmmm...maybe.

My husband doesn't have a problem with my breasts as they are. So no pressure there. And I know that at some point I do want a tummy tuck - so when I get the BA will I be super depressed about my stomach then? Then will my thighs need a lift? Then will I need laser off all my annoying body hair? Where will it end?

Am I opening a can of worms here - trying to fulfill a desire that treats a symptom but not a problem?

Am I just insecure in my new role as a mom? Am I looking for a different sort of validation as I secretly mourn the loss of my youth (because admitting it would somehow translate as not loving my children somehow)?

Will a Breast Augmentation help me how I think it will or will it create an even bigger problem?

My husband will be working all day tomorrow and I will have quiet time (the kids stayed at home with the grandparents) to think, pray and just be in silence. Perhaps my judgment has been convoluted by my hectic mom days. When all thoughts happen in between verses of The Fresh Beat Band or prepping for dinner or making sure the boy child doesn't lick a light socket (wish I was kidding) then are they really well thought out? Or does that make them impulsive? A Romeo-like impetuousness acting on a lusty impulse that turned out...well we know how that turned out.

Thoughts?

Replies (1)

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Doitorstopdreaming
October 21, 2012
HI CC, I started getting consultations when I was around 34. I didn't have the surgery until this past September (at 47), lol!! I don't regret having it done. I'm still playing the waiting game like Bresto... Make sure you feel comfortable with your PS, even if it means talking to a dozen doctors. I believe that is the key, look for that one you have confidence in, This website is GREAT for gathering honest information. Good Luck!! Doit
UPDATED FROM CCMomma

And one more thing....my mother in law, who...

CCMommaOctober 22, 2012
And one more thing....my mother in law, who watches my kids while I go to the gym three times a week (I try to fit in two more I'm Saturday and a night or early morning) is having surgery on her shoulder on Nov. 19. I will be starting back to work one day a week in January SO with those two considerations it seems like the perfect time for me to get my BA because I can't go to the gym anyway with no babysitter and I should try to be mostly healed before I begin working again.

All this together makes me feel that if it doesn't happen now it will never happen and when I go to my consultation I should be ready to schedule in 2-3 weeks.

I just don't want to be making a very expensive mistake is all. :(

Replies (4)

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LuvMyBoyfriend
October 22, 2012
I do not think the size of your boobs makes others nicer to ya. I think your confidence makes them nicer... And feeling like you look better shows! You could continue with the super padded bra, like most of us did of years... But no padded bra helped me feel this good about how I look. I feel more confident in clothes and naked!! I almost never took off my bra before... Now the bra is first thing I take off and last thing I put on. You have to do what is best for you!! I understand wanting to have surgery soon! My only concern in your timing is your baby and mother-in-law not avail. You will not be able to do anything the first few days. You can't lift more than a pillow for a while! With little ones at home I would think you would want to do this when you have somebody around who can care for the babies. Just a thought! Praying for wise choice and comfort for ya!
Kooberry
October 22, 2012
Hello cc, looks like you are a very good candidate for breast augmentation!!! It is important to do as much research as you can before surgery. Find a board certified PS, make sure you look at all his work(before&after piks) and also check his credentials/reviews from other patients. It is NOT a mistake to do this if you have low self esteem and feel ashamed and ugly! I used to be flat as a pancake now look pretty naked and love these sexxy new curves. GOOD LUCK:-)
GinaButt
October 22, 2012
Dear Ashamed I kind of have the same problem I wear this great bra which I love can't be without it I have my third md appt this Wednesday I can't wait! love the bra but at the end of the day when I go to sleep and take it off I have two small boobies.my husband likes my breast he doesn't mind either I just want the real thing I'm much older and this is what I wanted for a long long time. I made up my mind I'm getting them done, I wish you luck with your decision.
pilatesgirl13
October 22, 2012
Hi CC. I also am the mother to 2 small kiddos, 1 and 4yrs. I had my BA about 6wks ago. It was really hard for me to rationalize the cost and risk to myself. I finally decided to do it after going back and forth. I am so glad I did it. It really was a change to do something for myself. And I think it has really helped my marriage. Not b/c I have bigger boobs, but because I'm more comfortable with my body and I don't feel like just a mom. Does that make sense? Good luck!
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