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What I know I know now. I never would have gotten...

What I know I know now. I never would have gotten those things. I was 26 at the time and had been with my then boyfriend since I was 19. He was 7 years older than I was and was very into the Pam Anderson look. Our relationship was always rocky - in part bc of the age difference. In addition to a host of other issues, I felt young and inexperienced compared to him (of course I was! I should have been - I was 19!!) and the women he was attracted to, mostly "dancers" (aka strippers) and other overtly sexual women. Toward the end of our relationship, I started thinking about getting implants and he said that it didn't matter but offered to pay for half of them. I can't really blame him bc it was my decision and my body but he definitely didn't help. I can see now that I had self esteem issues otherwise I wouldn't have stayed in the relationship for as long as I did in the first place - he cheated on me, of course. He was one of those guys that just "didn't believe" he could only be with one woman for the rest of his life. Ugh.
Anyway, it's been 16 years now and I've been lucky (meaning I haven't had to have revision surgery like a lot of women). I haven't had any major problems with them but I never really liked them. It's like living with 2 giant water balloons in your chest. They were placed partially under the muscle through my belly button, so I don't have any scars. I don't know how many CCs they are bc my surgeon never gave me the info/files. They never responded to my email requests post surgery (they sure did prior to surgery though!) and I moved like a week after surgery and was going through a lot at the time, including the breakup, so I was focused on other things. I started out an A cup and am now a 32D. Way too big.
It's weird bc I was never really unhappy with having small breasts. I just didn't like the shape of my nipples when relaxed - they stuck out a bit. Of course, that is the look that I now associate with with youth - and seems young and sexy to me now. I remember showing my bf a pic of small breasts in [RS bleep] mag when "picking" the look that I wanted that were only slightly bigger than mine and I was telling those around me that I just wanted a full B cup. He and everyone - his friends - said I should get at least a C if I were going to do it. Well, at the last minute I showed my surgeon a much different picture and said I wanted a "full C." Of course there is no such thing. A full C is a D cup.
Immediately, they looked terrible- high and tight- but eventually they looked better and I got used to them. I enjoyed the attention they brought for about a year then hated the attention. I always thought I'd be able to wear all kinds of clothes that I didn't "fill in" before. The reality is that I overflow in those clothes now (and for the last 16 years) and at 42, I just look desperate and like I'm trying too hard if I wear stuff like that. The fashionable clothes that hide them - flowy tops and the like - make me look bigger than I am and matronly.
Over the last 10 years they've started to look not so awesome naked. My nipples stretched out and they've dropped down - they feel like tennis balls in socks - and are rippling badly, especially on the sides. My veins have also become so visible it's kinda scary. And I've been on medication for hypothyroidism for the last 10 years, not sure if it's connected but it is rather coincidental that lots of women with implants have thyroid issues.
I only kept them for this long bc I had other priorities and I thought my only choice was to replace them (and I couldn't afford to have them removed in the years immediately following implantation), but since finding this app/site I've decided to have them removed and not replace them. I've only had one consultation thus far. That surgeon said they "buttoned out" meaning that they are no longer under the muscle at all.
I will likely do lift and fat transfer to take up some of the slack. That will happen early in 2018.
I've included he cost of that in my review- as far as I'm concerned the removal wouldn't have to happen if not for the implants in the first place. So it's a part of the cost. The original surgery was about $4000. The removal, lift and fat transfer will cost anywhere from $8500 to $15,000.
I should also point out that my surgeon, and everyone I interviewed at the time, said that the implants could very well last my entire life. It's true that after 16 years they haven't exploded but I feel very uncomfortable naked and cannot go braless ever- not even sleeping.
So if you're considering getting implants - think about that. It will not be the only elective surgery you will have. Realistically hey need to be replaced every 10 years to be maintained or removed after 10 or 15 years.
All my surgeons also told me that I could breastfeed when I chose to. I was able to produce milk, but my son had trouble latching on bc the implants take up all the room. So I ended up primarily pumping. It was not a good feeling. I only have one child - had him at 39, 13 years after getting the implants.
I've since had friends that asked me about them and I've always been honest and said that I regret getting them. If I could go back and talk to my younger self I'd tell her that the way you look isn't who you are -- and although you'll probably still be vain, you won't be as vain, and your idea of what's beautiful will change. And even though it doesn't seem like it now, you will get older, you will realize how dumb it is to spend so much time, energy and money just on looking good, especially for some A-hole that cheats on you. Oh, and I'd tell her that every single breast implant- regardless of the type- looks fake. I can spot implants a mile away. But mostly I'd just tell her: this isn't who you are. You are having a temporary lapse of judgment and you will find your way back to you. Don't make a lifetime mistake for one moment of stupidity.
The one thing that I did do well was research several doctors and make sure that I selected a board certified surgeon. And I picked the safer implant. Although saline isn't 100% safe either and can have issues that I did not know were possible at the time - like mold growth. I would encourage those that are set on surgery to do your research.
So was it worth it? No. Not at all. I could have invested that $15,000 to $18,000 in something much more valuable - a masters degree, abroad travel, my home, a college fund for my son, the list is long - and I would not have screwed up my breasts in the process.
I'm not against plastic surgery, I just wish I would have loved myself a little more the way that I was. I see pictures of myself now and I see a young beautiful woman with an endless world of possibilities ahead of her. How come I couldn't see that then?

Provider Review

Dr. R. Scott Smith
Overall rating
Doctor's bedside manner
Answered my questions
After care follow-up
Time spent with me
Phone or email responsiveness
Staff professionalism & courtesy
Payment process
Wait times

NA - surgeon died several years ago.