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Determined to Erase a HUGE Mistake - Monroeville, PA

Everyone warned me that it would be best to start...

Everyone warned me that it would be best to start out small. Instead of heeding these wise words of wisdom, I went ahead and got this unsightly tattoo. I wanted angel wings, and after the artist completed the outline of the left wing (which takes up an enormous portion of the left side of my back!) I thought it looked great! However, about 3 or 4 days after my first session, I realized that I absolutely hate it and that angel wings were a terrible idea from the start. Thank God I didn't schedule another session to have the second wing outlined! I just want rid of the entire thing altogether. I want my natural skin back. I refuse to get the left wing shaded in, either.

I am very, very interested in having it lasered off completely. I feel like I've tarnished my skin and I am basically ashamed of what I have done to myself! I have only had this tattoo for a little over a week and I just hate it so much. I am scared of the removal process (for both the pain and financial reasons) but I know I need to have it done in order for me to be able to function and live life normally again. I just have no idea how I'm going to finance this! I'm a college student with minimal credit and a job that hardly pays. Thinking of taking out a personal loan to pay for the removal process. I'd much rather carry the burden of debt than the burden of this gigantic mistake. I know I must wait at least 8-12 weeks before beginning the process. I have already scheduled a consultation at one place and am still waiting to hear back from another. I'm really hoping that this tattoo can be completely removed since it's all black ink and only an outline. Also, I am super pale, which I hear is the best combination with black ink.

By the way, my profile picture shows how my tattoo outline looked as soon as it was finished. The black is not as bright now as it was on that day. Does anyone have any information or advice as to how good my chance is for a complete removal? As a college student, how can I finance this? During a consultation, do they offer financing options? I really just don't know what to expect because I've never been in a situation like this before. Thanks, everyone!

I Am The Biggest Idiot Known to Humankind

So I made a HUGE mistake not once, but twice. I decided to get the outline finished because there was no way I was going to be able to afford removal, and my back looked ridiculous with just one angel wing. Now, I almost wish I would have left my back alone until I could eventually start removal on the left side. I feel like any removal chance I might have had is now gone. I have permanently marred my body, which was perfectly fine before I carelessly decided to ruin it with ink. I can understand if no one comments on this. I am the biggest failure ever, and I want to die. There is nothing I want more in this world than to have a tattoo-free back again. My God, what is wrong with me?

I Also Apologize...

I also meant to say I'm sorry for never responding to those of you who kindly commented on my post before. This is the first time I've been on RealSelf in months, and I haven't had the courage to log back in after my awful decision to get the second wing outlined on my back. I have just been too depressed to do anything about it other than sulk and pity myself on my own bad decision.

My Untreated Tattoo

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Hey there, just checking in to see how you are feeling, have you started treatments? Hope all is well. 


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How did your consult at body beautiful go? 
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I called and made an appointment, but ended up canceling. I simply cannot afford to remove this tattoo right now. I plan on waiting until I have the funds and also until I can have this removed via Picosure. The nearest Picosure around here is in Philadelphia, which is a bit far.
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Are you still going to Body Beautiful for all of your treatments? Your ink seems to be fading nicely.
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Ink hangovers are pretty common with large pieces. I actually really like the shape of it, and yea, if you were ever to have any hope of enjoying it, you needed to get the second wing done. You should try showing it off; it will make you more comfortable with it. And soon it will be a laser wound anyway, so you might as well experience being a hot young coed with tattooed wings for this brief window. Someday you will have a bare back again if it's important to you. Might as well accept this skin for now though, while you have to have it anyway. I don't know you.. I don't know if you even care, but even if you don't like it, a lot of people will find it to be a huge turn on.
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Honestly so many people on here including myself know how you feel..it's tough but the one thing I would say is dont be too hard on yourself- everybody makes mistakes. I beat myself up over mine for about 3 months before actually accepting it for what it was - a mistake ( costly yes) that can and will be fixed and since then I am in a totally different head space with it- yours is the same. Obviously there s no quick fix solution but remind yourself that it isn't permanent ( it can defo be treated - all black, easier than most Ect) and although it ll be a struggle somehow you'll find the money. Don't feel ashamed on this site either - everybody is so supportive - if you need to vent then this the place to do it. Good luck and keep us updated.
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Thanks, willwin! It's good to know that I don't have to fight this battle alone. As you said, we're all in the same boat - therefore, we're all in this together.
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Judging from the photo, the tattoo is all black? If that's the case I'd say you'd be an excellent candidate for removal. Also, it looks like a lot of line work and shading, I can't see much dense black, which again works in your favour. It'd be costly, no doubt, but you can put things right for sure. On a side note, it looks very well done. I've seen wings similar that just look dreadful. Try not to be so hard on yourself; good, honest, intelligent people are allowed to make mistakes too. We're all in the same boat here - keep documenting your journey, you'll find it'll help.
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Thanks, wilks! Yes, my tattoo is actually just a very detailed black outline. There isn't any shading at all, just a lot of line work. In other words, it isn't even finished...but I obviously have no intentions of getting it shaded. I find your post very encouraging and I want to thank you for being so supportive. I know I'll get this fixed eventually...it may not be right away, but in the meantime I am going to try my best to remain hopeful.
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Your story sounds a lot like mine. I got the outline and some gray shading. I was supposed to go back for color, but realized I could not live with my horrid tattoo. We all know how you feel. It's so hard to deal with all the mixed emotions of why you did this to your body. Go to some consultations, and you will start to feel better. I know many places let you pay a little at a time. I pay $180 per session (once a month). I got lucky though...it's really cheap. I'm imagining some dermatology offices may do some sort of financing. Good luck. Try to keep your head up. Things will get better with time. :)
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Hey there! My tattoo is an outline as well, I have had 2 sessions so far and next one may 24th, I waited 8 weeks to start treatments after getting the tattoo, maybe a little longer... I am obviously a lot tanner than you, but my odds for fading since I'm in the middle should be about as good since at a certain point in fading the ink will get lost in my skin tone... Paler skin has more complete results... Good for you on stopping tho!!! I kno the feelings
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How is your fading coming along Barbie?
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Thanks everyone for being so supportive/positive! It's nice to know that there are others out there who understand what this is like.
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Thank you for posting your review, it takes so much courage to step up and own up to a mistake, and post pictures. You are a beautiful person, and understandable you feel horrible right now, I am in the same boat as you, but don't be so hard on yourself....live and learn, there was nothing wrong with wanting a tattoo, you just started out too bit, I did the same thing...I am living with deep regret, and it sucks, but people have much worse issues to deal with. There is great support on this site, and Tena G has provided you with great information, she is wonderful! Hang in there, and chin up! Blackberry11
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Hey, Tena! One of my consultations is actually for Body Beautiful (the one in Monroeville) and the other is at Irwin Laser Center. Both appointments are scheduled for next week. Does Body Beautiful's technique (going over the tattoo multiple times in one session) seem to be working? How long do they make you wait before going in for another treatment? I heard that their method will supposedly take less time/sessions for the tattoo to completely go away. I was just wondering if you have experienced significant fading since you started going there. Also, thanks for letting me know about the Groupon special! That's something I'll definitely look into. At this point I just really want it gone and I'll probably end up doing whatever it takes. I'll be entering the business world once college is over, and I know I won't want to deal with this burden then. Better to deal with it now than later, I suppose.
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I think body beautiful's technique is working. Body beautiful is actually doing the groupon deal now and it's for all locations. I didn't actually purchase the groupon from the website I called the main number (all calls for any location go to the same number) and he told me that he will make a note that I can just pay the groupon price when I go there and every other time I will also receive the groupon price.  I have only had 1 session on each of my tattoos that I am removing from body beautiful but there's definitely a difference in getting zapped 4 times in a row vs 1 time. Also I use a numbing cream called deep numb; I ordered it on ebay and it's really cheap. The bottle is very small so i'd recommend if you oder it to buy like 2 bottles for such a large tattoo. The best thing about body beautiful is that they apparently have a super powerful machine in cranberry and because my chest tattoo is very faded they said I may have to start going up there; so they give you many options. I have also entered the "real job" world but thankfully they do not care about tattoos but I may not be so lucky in the future therefore I want them gone. I've been to 2 different body beautiful locations..at one of the locations they tried to rush me in and schedule 3-4 weeks after the last appointment and the other location said wait 6 weeks. In my experience I would say wait AT LEAST 6 weeks. anywhere between 6-8 is good. My last treatment was 2 weeks ago and I am still very scabbed. Also it's definitely better to deal with it now because I have been at this process on my chest for 1.5-2 years now and the tattoo is still there. 
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here's the groupon link. They are running the special now.   http://www.groupon.com/deals/body-beautiful-laser-medi-spa-24?pt=aUXcpGjAAAAD1JmGuj8XsifrT_jqBJS9U   I know it says 8-11 inches but I would call and ask what special you could get for a tattoo your size. The guy who i always spoke to was always willing to discount 
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Hi erica. I am from pittsburgh and have been to three different laser clinics. Where is your consultation for and who else did you call? So far my favorite place is body beautiful laser spa and they usually have a groupon for tattoo removal which makes it more affordable and they always go over my tattoo multiple times.  Don't waste your time at pittsburgh permanent makeup and tattoo removal; they turned the laser way down because I was "bleeding". If you want to go a cheap route call tattoo blvd in monroeville. They are a tattoo shop that also does removal. I haven't been lasered by them but they quoted me the cheapest price anywhere. I also like east side laser center, but they are very expensive and only go over my tattoo one time per session where as body beautiful goes over it 3 times per session.  I have never been offered financing, but I have also never asked for it as most places I pay per session instead of a lump. Big medi spas like aqua blu may have financing but there prices are probably much higher.  Feel free to ask me anything especially since we live in the same area! 
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Also, I am a college student as well (well recently graduated but going back in a few months) so I know your pain on the expenses of the process, but if you feel like this tattoo is making life seem miserable well it's only money and i'm sure your school loans will be hefty anyway! 
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Take out those loans... worry about the debt later.
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Here is a Q&A I think you might find really helpful:

Which Laser is the Best for a Black Tattoo Removal?

This blog might also be useful:

5 Common Questions About Financing Plastic Surgery (I know you aren't having plastic surgery but it seems the tips could apply to procedures that are not seen as medically necessary).

Good for you for stopping as soon as you realized you weren't liking the tattoo. I'm so sorry to hear how much distress this has been causing you.

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