Hi Everyone. I am a 37 yr old mother of 5. Before...
Hi Everyone. I am a 37 yr old mother of 5. Before I had my first child I was completely flat chested. After my first baby my breasts were still small, but perky and cute. I was very happy and proud of them. I believe I was a B cup and no sagginess. My stomach was still flat and no wrinkles, but after my second child at age 21, I knew I needed a Mommy Makeover. My breast became very saggy and my stomach became very wrinkled. I've always felt very ugly and embarrassed about my body even with my husband. I don't feel sexy and barely let him see me naked. Silly I know. Especially since he has always told me he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful the way I am. I just don't like it.
I started researching Mommy Makeovers after my second child turned 8 yrs old since we thought we were unable to have anymore children. I even went as far as making an appointment to get an estimate of what it might cost. Then we were surprised with my third child. We discussed it again after our third baby was born and decided to wait until we were sure we were done having children. Fast forward to today and five children later, we are pretty sure we are done and have discussed revisiting having the surgery done. I have to be honest and say I have been a little leery about the whole thing. Big difference between age 21 and 37. I think about something horrible happening and my children left without a mother. Or everything turning out bad and being left disfigured. But in looking at all the women here I am so glad I ran into this website. You guys have given me hope and I am even excited about having the surgery done.
Now my big thing is where to have the surgery done. I was considering having it done in my mother's country (Dominican Republic), but then have read some reviews where there was a problem and having trouble finding a doctor here (in the US) to look at them. That's just too risky for my taste. I am not looking at doctors here in the US. We are currently living in PA and moving back home to FL towards the end of the Summer. I am now debating if I should have it done now in PA or surrounding area (MD, VA, or DC) or if I should wait until we move and have it done in FL.
Due to my finances it looks like I...
Due to my finances it looks like I will have to do my surgeries separate. :( My husband's grandmother passed away and I had to give up some of the money of which I didn't mind, she was an amazing human being. I'm also not that upset since I will most likely be able to do it next year. We'll see.
Anyways, now I am stuck with the tough decision of which to do first. Can anyone here give me some advice? Should I do my tummy or breast? My husband thinks I should do my tummy because he says no one else will see my breast but him and he knows how much my tummy bothers me since it sticks out a little. The lady at the doctor's office tells me I should do my breast first because she states it will hide my stomach since they will stick out more than my belly. I honestly hate both my stomach and my breast.
OK, Well we seem to be going back and forth with...
OK, Well we seem to be going back and forth with this. Because it is such a small chance I wasn't even going to update here, but then thought this is what I am going through and I might not be alone.
My husband and I were talking really late last night and there might be a chance I might be able to do the whole Mommy Makeover as originally planned. I would just have to wait until October. The problem is that financially we might have to move some things around. My children are in Dance, Baseball, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (sp). The are very serious about their activities and I want to make sure not to interrupt any of that. My kids are 19, 16, 8, 3, and 1. Not because they are mine, but I have always been told I have great kids and I believe it has a lot to do with their Focus on their activities.
It is very important to me we don't mess with any of that, but we still might be able to move some other things around. Maybe even our move which has already been moved once due to Dance Team, but to be honest I don't mind waiting another year to move. I don't know.... Am I being selfish? Obsessing too much?
So it is official. I am getting both the BA with...
So it is official. I am getting both the BA with BL and the Full TT (includes much needed MR) in October!!! I am so excited. I had something horrible happen to me yesterday which made me realize there is no turning back. I decided since I am not having surgery until October, I might as well start working out and getting into shape. First of all I am not huge. At the moment I weigh between 123 to 126 lbs (I go up and down) and wear a size 4 in pants and M in shirts. My problem is my huge belly. I look like I am about 4 to 5 months pregnant. I was 158 lbs when I started working out last year (I stopped about two months ago). So I am losing weight and need new workout clothes. So I go to Kohls to buy them and I can't find any compression tanks. I use these to hold my tummy muscle in while I workout. I go to the counter to ask the young lady if they have any and she looks straight at my belly and laughs at me while she tells me No. I left there in tears. Needless to say I did not buy anything because I didn't want anyone to see me crying, but I was super upset. I came home and told my husband, there is no turning back. I am having the Full MM in October. That was humiliating. More than people asking me if I'm pregnant again. That pisses me off because people say it in a sarcastic way because we already have 5 kids and it pisses me off because I AM NOT PREGNANT! I don't want to hear the, "OMG! You're pregnant again!", anymore. Can't wait to have this done!
I just spoke with the nurse and patient...
I just spoke with the nurse and patient coordinator from my PS's office. We finally set an official date for my surgery!!! My surgery will be on October 25, 2012 at 9:00am. I am having a breast augmentation with a full lift and full tummy tuck with lipo. I'm glad we decided to do it this way as I am saving $6249 in discounts and anesthesia costs.
It seems so real now and I am freaking out. I'm excited, but at the same time uber nervous!!!
I guess now comes the time where I start having...
I guess now comes the time where I start having nightmares. I had a dream that I went in and the doctor, my husband, and a bunch of other people in lab coats were discussing my procedure.... a Rhinoplasty!!!! I was trying to yell, "NO!!! I'm having a B/A and TT!!!", but no one could hear me. It was like I had no voice. They just went on talking and I am kicking and screaming, but no one could hear me. It was horrible. Anyone else have weird dreams about their procedure?
I am so excited. It's so funny how things work out...
I am so excited. It's so funny how things work out. Just yesterday and again this morning I've been debating about having my surgery in Florida with Dr. Pane. All of his reviews are good and he is board certified, but I just kept thinking how about if something goes wrong and I have to go back to see him after I come back home to Pennsylvania. I only have plans to stay in Florida for two weeks. My husband only took two weeks off of work and my homeschooled kids decided to go to public school this year so we can't keep them out of school for too long. I've been reading how some of you ladies have had to keep the drains on for longer than two weeks. This is freaking me out. My husband tells me not to worry because worst case scenario, he can come home with the kids and I can stay at my mom's house or if I am already home, a plane ticket is really not that much for just one person.
So I'm still debating this morning and open my email to find a PM from one of Dr.Pane's patients reaching out to me. How sweet is that?! And she had nothing but GREAT things to say about Dr.Pane and everyone at Strax. This just made me so happy with my choice. Then I go read her review and her BA/BL looks amazing!!! He did such an awesome job on her breast!!!! You can view her review here:
I was also reading in her review how much help she needed and I kept thinking, my dh and I are alone here in PA. There is no way he will be able to care for me and our 5 kids by himself. And there really is no reason for us to even try that since we have two whole sets of family who miss the kids so much and are more than willing to take the brats for a few days. To the point they even fight over where or with who our kids will stay when we go over there because they all want them.
So our plan is to have my blood work done here in Pennsylvania on the Friday before we leave which is October 19. Then drive to Florida with our tribe (yes I feel like I am in a tribe with so many kids) and get to my mom's house by Tuesday. My appointment with Dr.Pane is that Wednesday, October 24 at 10:00am, to discuss all the finalization of my surgery and give him the pictures of how I want my breasts to look. My surgery will be the following day on Thursday October 25 at 9:00am. While I am at surgery my husband will be getting our hotel room where I will be staying with my husband for the next few days while I recover and my lovely tribe will either be at my mother's, my mother-in-law's or any of their aunts or uncles on either side. I really do not care and do not plan to get involved in that fiasco as I know everybody wants to stay with them. I'm not making that decision and having someone mad at me. I have enough to worry about with the surgery. My dh can decide where they will stay or our families can duke it out. I really don't care. I just know I can't be with them because my babies will not understand and want me to hold or cuddle with them. It will be to heart wrenching for me to say, "No, Mommy can't hug/hold you right now." and I know I will end up hurting myself trying to figure out a way to hold them. Especially my two youngest who are 1 yrs old and my other baby who just turned 4 years old.
So in conclusion, I am super excited again! Now I definitely am happy with my choice in Dr.Pane and having my surgery done in Florida. 89 more days until my surgery!!!! I can't wait!
I also forgot to mention that I lost weight! I am...
I also forgot to mention that I lost weight! I am so excited! My son was visiting in Florida for a few weeks and we just picked him up on Tuesday. Well he was looking at me weird on Thursday, then he blurts out, "Wow mom, you've lost a lot of weight!" Well he hasn't been gone that long so I was like, "Really!" My husband tells my son that he has been telling me that for days, but that I don't listen. I honestly thought that he was just trying to make me feel good. Well I measured myself and it turns out I have lost a lot of inches off of my stomach, hips, and thighs. My arms gained a couple of inches, but that's just muscle. So no more flabby arms. lol I also lost some numbers off of the scale. Before I was going from 124 to 126 lbs. I've been eating a lot of not so healthy foods like Chinese food and lasagna so I have been scared to weigh myself, but I did and I am now 122 to 124 lbs (my weight is never steady and bounces throughout the week. I was 124 lbs two days ago and today I was 122 lbs, but could be up tomorrow so I will just say between 122 to 124) . So I lost about 2-3 lbs!!! I know it's not a lot, but my goal is between 115 to 120 lbs so I am almost there!!! And I am sure the scale is also weighing my muscles, which I am sure I have gained weight in muscle which is a good thing. This is for someone going from 170 lbs last year after I had the baby. I had her February 14, 2011. I started to really take my weight loss seriously and started going to the gym when I hit 150 lbs and stopped losing weight. For some reason I was just stuck between 148 and 150 lbs. Now I am between 122 and 124 lbs!!!! I am so excited. I had my last three babies close together so I didn't lose much weight after baby # 4. She was about 2 yrs old when I found out I was pregnant with baby # 5 and was about 148 lbs. My sister told me that 148 lbs was probably my new weight and I should get used to it. She said I would never see below 130 lbs again and here I am between 122 and 124 lbs. Woohoo!!! Yay me!!!
I just received the vitamins I ordered today. I...
I just received the vitamins I ordered today. I was wondering if these are all the vitamins I need to heal quickly? I just realized that I haven't taken any type of vitamin since I had my last baby in February of last year! Actually because I was breastfeeding I kept taking my prenatal for a few months after, but when they finished I didn't buy any more. I just really hate swallowing pills and would rather just eat right and get my vitamins that way. I've been told the extra supplements help with healing though, so I am just going to suffer through swallowing gross pills for a few months. :)
Can anyone give any suggestions on Vitamins? I'd like to know if there is anything besides what I have and plan to get.
The Vitamins I ordered and received today are:
1 a Day women's vitamins
Vitamin A 10,000 iu - I'm taking it twice a day
Vitamin C 1000 - I'm taking twice a day
These are not on my doctor's list, but I've seen many women on here taking them so I ordered them too. How much of it should I take?
Resveratrol - Should I take once or twice a day?
Vitamin D 1000 iu - Should I take once or twice a day?
I also plan to buy and start taking two weeks before surgery:
I decided to try and see if I can place my ticker...
I decided to try and see if I can place my ticker here, but just in case it does not come out... It Is 2 Months 3 Weeks and 3 Days until my Mommy Makeover!!!! Can't wait!
You can say 2 months 2 weeks, or 10 weeks and 5...
You can say 2 months 2 weeks, or 10 weeks and 5 days, or 75 more days until my Mommy Makeover!!! Any way you say it, I AM SO EXCITED!!!
I know it still may seem so far away to some, but I prefer to look on the bright side and think, it was 6 months ago (since April) when I started this journey. I am a lot closer now than I was back then. ;)
I just reread what I wrote. I did not mean 6...
I just reread what I wrote. I did not mean 6 months "ago" since April. I meant to state that it was 6 months away in April (April to October) and now we are in August and I am only 2 months and 2 weeks away. I was so tired last night when I wrote that. I was up late finishing a paper for school.
So I have been agonizing how to explain my BA to...
So I have been agonizing how to explain my BA to my 4 yr old daughter. She knows and understand about my TT, but haven't told her about the BA yet. My three older ones (19, 16, and 8) already know and my 1 yr old is too young, so she was the only one left.
So my 4 yr old daughter walks into the kitchen and catches me filling stockings up with rice to make rice testers. She gives me a very confused look and proceeds to tell me that my feet are going to hurt a lot when I put them on with all that rice in there. I was going to tell her what I was doing, but she took off before I got a chance to. A few seconds later I hear her telling EVERYONE that mommy is putting rice in her socks and it's going to hurt when she puts her socks on. Then I hear my 16 year old fitness buff son tell her that mommy is making that so she can heat it up in the microwave and put on her muscles after exercising. At this point I am LOL and think, I'll just explain to everyone what I was doing when I finished. I go in the bathroom to put my ricers on and then realize the time. Past everyone's bed time. I run out my bathroom and get everyone ready for bed completely forgetting I have these ricers on. No one says anything so I figure they didn't notice. I take them off and put them in my bathroom, then sit at my PC for a little while. Then I notice my 4 yr old is out of bed and go to put her back in bed. As I pick her up to carry her I notice she put the ricers on under her pj's just like mommy did. We both look at each other and burst out laughing.
I explained what they were and she understands, but boy was that funny. So much for me agonizing on how I would tell my little one about mom's new boobs.
I am so excited! My patient coordinator is going...
I am so excited! My patient coordinator is going to call me on Monday so that we can schedule a video conference with my PS. I am emailing her a list of questions I have which she will give to the PS to look over on Monday. I am also emailing pics of breasts I like and don't like, so we are on the same page on what I want when he calls. I am a very indecisive person, so he is getting five pics of what I want and three of what I don't want. I hope he doesn't think I'm a nut. lol I also have a little more than a page of questions for him. ;)
BTW... We are doing a video conference because I am having my MM done in Florida and live in Pennsylvania. The reason for this is that my DH, children, and I live here by ourselves. Our whole family (both DH and mine) live in Florida where we are originally from. We are a VERY tight knit family on both sides. Actually his family has sort of become a family with my family since we met, so now it's one big happy family. lol Anywho, although I am 37 (38 on the 23rd of this month) I am the youngest of 8, so not "allowed" to have this "huge" surgery over here by myself and was "ordered" by my mom and oldest sister to have it over there. Seriously! lol They are so cute. My mom is in her 80's by the way and super frail, and threatened me to come hit both my husband and I with a belt if we didn't. They nearly had an aneurysm when we told them we would rent a hotel for the first 2 days so I can rest away from my little ones. They were not happy with that at all, so now we will stay with my mom and my two younger children will stay with my niece and her family. Her youngest child is the same age as my daughter, 4 so they should have fun together. BTW... the first generation of my nieces and nephews (yes, there are different generations ranging from 1 to 40 yrs old) are all around my age with kids my kids age. I did mention we are a VERY large family! lol I will be staying with my mother and sister who live together. My other sisters and nieces will be taking turns taking care of me. My three older kids are bouncing between family members as they please. They miss their cousins so much. I am so excited!!! I miss my family so much and can't wait to see them. And I am so looking forward to my Mamita taking care of me, too. She has the beginning stages of Alzheimer so I am not going to have her much longer. She is going to baby me and I love that. My brother (he's the one born right before me) will be sooo jealous, and I love that!!!. tee-hee Can you sense the sibling rivalry? lol He and I have always been this way. We were serious when we were younger, but now we do it cause it's funny. I don't get mad anymore because I know my mom loves me more!!! lol And I am pretty sure my mom didn't find me in a garbage can, although my brother is adamant that she did.
OK, I finally added pics and I am uber embarrassed...
OK, I finally added pics and I am uber embarrassed. At least you can't see my face! I am adding one from May when I was going to originally put them up, then chickened out and I am adding ones I took recently after exercising and losing weight.
So I spoke to my PS a few days ago and he gave me...
So I spoke to my PS a few days ago and he gave me bad news. Because I have breast ptosis, I will have to first get a lift. After a few months when I heal from the breast lift, I will then go back for the implant. I was really upset at first and actually spent the first day he told me crying. I've waited years for my Mommy Makeover and was really looking forward to getting it all done in October. And I know it's only a few more months, but when you set your appointment in April/May and have waited this long, a few more months feels like an eternity.
I did do some research on it and the reason he wants to do it this way and know it's the best decision for me. It's still frustrating for me, but I understand. I do hate my body even more now, though. Most women who need MM get to get everything done at once, but my boobs are so bad that they need two separate surgeries to get fixed. I really detest them now more than ever.
I did learn that women with severe ptosis who do both surgeries at the same time will -
1) Not get the "upper pole fullness" I want, and if they do achieve it, will then experience sagging in a few years,
2) Run the risk of skin dying and even losing their nipples, and
3) Run the risk of bottoming out and need a revision anyways.
I don't want any of those things happening to me, but even knowing this doesn't alleviate my sadness or childish selfishness of wanting my boobies now. :( But I do understand I can't have them and it's for my own good. Also most likely the doctor wants to keep a clean reputation which is understandable and actually puts me a little at ease knowing he is going after the best possible outcome for me.
All of these decisions are being made through pictures though as I haven't met my doctor in person. He did state over the phone that there is a strong possibility of this being the outcome and he will make his final decision when he meets me in person. I am not going to get my hopes up that his decision will change though because from everything I have read, I know my ptosis is bad. :(
It was my husband's birthday yesterday and today...
It was my husband's birthday yesterday and today is my birthday. We usually have a romantic "alone" date on his birthday and then out with family and friends on mine (or vice versa). Yesterday we had our "alone" date and went out to dinner. The restaurant has a section that is all mirrors. I usually avoid looking into those types of mirrors like the plague, but I happened to glance over and it wasn't that bad. You can really notice my weight loss (and I was not wearing a girdle) and I actually looked cute. I couldn't help imagining what I will look like after my complete MM is done. Made me feel really good and super excited about my surgery again, even if it has to be staged. I am sure by this time next year I will be rocking a hot bod. ;)
OK, I know this is very stupid of me, but I'm...
OK, I know this is very stupid of me, but I'm starting to have my doubts. Wondering if I should be spending this much money on myself. I've actually given so many on here advice on how much they deserve this, but now I really understand where they were coming from. I guess this is part of the roller coaster that comes when you are getting close to surgery. I am still quite a distance away. I have 35 days to go. That's still 5 weeks away, but I'm getting so nervous. It just seems like so much money that can be better spent on other things. Like for instance, my husband and I sold our house about 4 years ago. We had to do a "short-sale" due to the economy, and did not make any money on the sale. We're not ready to buy another house, mainly because we are not sure where we want to live (Blonde has been a huge support for me and our un-decisiveness. Thank you Blonde, you are an amazing human being!) At the moment we live in the outskirts of Pennsylvania (close to Maryland and West Virginia), but our whole family lives in Florida. We are a very tight knit family. His family has even become really close to my family, so it's one very large family spending birthdays and barbecues together and we are so far away. We love it up here, but have never been so far apart from our family. But anyways, I feel like this amount of money can be put into our new house. It doesn't matter if we end up in Florida or here; either way we need to buy a new house eventually. My 16 year old is also taking driver's-ed and will have his license soon. That means we will have to get him a car. Then there's my kids' Dance Team. I have two in it and it is sooooo expensive. We have to pay for choreography for about 6 different dances, costumes for 6 dances, competitions, hotels, and travel. We do fundraisers to help pay for it, but still it's a lot of money.
I'm sorry I'm being such a Debbie Downer and I know I am being stupid, but this is what I feel some times when I realize the surgery is so close. I just needed to get it off my chest and there is no one I can talk to that will understand like I know this community will. I'm still getting my surgery and do have times of excitement, but at times I do feel guilty and think of all of the above. :(
I am sooo excited! There is only 24 days and 22...
I am sooo excited! There is only 24 days and 22 hours before my surgery!!! I arrive in Florida early in ;the morning on October 23, which is a Tuesday. I will then buy all of my supplies. I haven't bought anything, but my vitamins. Since I will be traveling with my family (there are 7 of us with two very young ones) and two car-seats in the plane for the little ones. I wanted to make sure to travel light. I am hoping to have enough time to get all I need between Tuesday and Wednesday. My pre-op is on Wednesday morning, so I will pick up my prescriptions right after my pre-op appointment. Then my surgery is on Thursday, October 25th!!!! I have been waiting for almost 6 months now. Well, actually 16 years, but I'm only counting from the planning and scheduling of my appointment. This has been such a roller coaster ride for me. I went from scheduling a full MM to then having my husband's grandmother pass away and having to give up more than half of the money for my surgeries for funeral costs. Not that I minded or that I'm complaining. I loved his grandmother and was more than happy to help. It was just frustrating after waiting for so long to have to wait even longer. This little set back left me having to make a choice between either having my BA/BL or having my TT. Then we decided to change my appointment from July to October so that I could save up the money to have everything done at once. Let me tell you when you are in June and changing your appointment from July to October, it feels like an eternity away!!! Time was also on slow motion, at least it felt that way to me. Now per my doctor I will have to have my BA/BL staged due to breast ptsosis. So now I will have my full TT which consist of MR, Lipo, and maybe an umbilical hernia repair and a full BL in only 3 more weeks!!!! Then a little more waiting for my BL to heal (hopefully in 2 months) and then I can have my BA!!!! I can't believe it. I am sooo excited and can't wait for stage one of my surgeries. Hopefully the healing process will keep my mind from my BA (which I want badly) and those 2 to 3 months for my BL to heal will go by fast.
Sorry about that. Not sure what happened, but this...
Sorry about that. Not sure what happened, but this page kept resetting on me.
Anyways, I am so excited!!! I can't believe I am so close. I'm doing my school work and have a ticker on my laptop, I look up and see I only have 2 weeks left before my surgery! Well it's not exactly 2 weeks, more like 2 weeks, 6 days, 16 hours, and 15 min. I am feeling so many different emotions right now. I'm excited, but at the same time really scared. Then I am feeling every other emotion in between. So weird! The only thing I can think to compare it to is when I was in the last month of my very first pregnancy. Well maybe not exactly, as motherhood is way more exciting, but I can say the feelings of excitement and fear are pretty close. You know that feeling of "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be a mother!" and then the fear of being a horrible mom. Not sure if I'm making any sense?
I have to have my blood work soon. I should have actually did it today, but things got really busy with my husband's business and he needed my help since he also sometimes works a night job. There are actually not enough hours in the days for everything my poor baby does. So I figured, I'll help him today and just go do my lab work tomorrow. I still have to go over my list of questions for my PS and my list of things I need to get once I get there. I really hope I can get everything I need between Tuesday and Wednesday. I will arrive in Florida on October 23rd which is Tuesday morning, my preop appointment is on October 24th (Wednesday morning), then my surgery is on Thursday morning. How exciting and scary and overwhelming!!! Eeeek!!!
I had my blood work done today. I wish I could buy...
I had my blood work done today. I wish I could buy my supplies now, but it doesn't make sense since things break/disappear when you are flying. I'm sooo excited!!! I can't believe I am so close.
OK, so I think I am losing my mind. I am actually...
OK, so I think I am losing my mind. I am actually crying after watching a TLC show on babies. It didn't help that I had my youngest (20 months old) laying on my chest napping. I look down and realize that my baby is quickly turning into a big girl and I am never having another baby again. I know to most, 5 babies is already too many, but I am going to really miss having a baby in the house. Especially a newborn with their sweet newborn smell and kitten like cry. :-(
Oh well, I have a 16 year old and 20 year old. Although my 16 year old vows kids are too expensive and doesn't want any and my 20 year old states she'll have one as long as it does not interfere with her career (she's studying to be a Marine Biologist), I still have hope of having a grand-baby before I am too old to really enjoy them.
I have 2 more weeks until the day I cross over to the flat side and after that I know it will be the best birth control ever, till then, no more TLC for me. ;-)
I'm beyond excited! Every time I see my count down...
I'm beyond excited! Every time I see my count down ticker, I get super excited. I will be leaving for Florida in 11 more days, and then surgery is 13 days from now!!!
10 More days and a few hours before my surgery!!!...
10 More days and a few hours before my surgery!!! We will be leaving for Florida in 8 days. I am so excited and antsy for the day to get here already! I'm curious, is anyone else who's surgery is coming soon getting sensitive/emotional? I have been super sensitive these past few days and getting upset about everything, which is not normal for me.
OMG!!! Only 8 more days and 18 hours before...
OMG!!! Only 8 more days and 18 hours before surgery!!! We will be leaving for Florida in 6 days. I am beyond excited now!!! I don't even think I am nervous anymore. What a roller coaster of emotions these last couple of weeks have been! I am very anxious and soooo ready for this after waiting for so many years.
Since some of us will be taking so many medications and vitamins; some at different times during the day, I'm posting a Medication Log in with my pictures. You can copy and print it out if you need to. From what I've been reading, we will be in and out of consciousness the first few days and can easily forget what we took when and those that have husbands helping with housework and kids, remembering at what time medications were given can get overwhelming. I hope this is helpful. If you are not able to copy it, just send me a private message and I will email it to you. If I end up emailing it to you, it is an Excel file you can play with and enlarge the tables. If you don't have Excel, you will at least need an Excel reader which you can download for free from the Microsoft Website.
FYI, I originally emailed this to Blonde and she reminded me to post it here for everyone. She really does care for us so much. Thank you so much Blonde for always looking out and making sure we have all the info we will need. Love you my dear friend and feel so Blessed to have met you here.
There are 7 more days until my surgery!!! I got my...
There are 7 more days until my surgery!!! I got my period today and have never been so happy to have my period. It should end (or be very light) by the time we leave for Florida, then I don't have to worry about my period for a whole month during recovery and post-op appointments. Woohoo!!!
Uuuugh!!! I did not realize I can't take anything...
Uuuugh!!! I did not realize I can't take anything for my period. Everything I am used to taking is on the list of medication I can't take! I am having the worst cramps ever. This is horrible! Anyone have any natural suggestions for me? What did you ladies do if you got your period during the 2 weeks before/2 weeks after of not being able to take anything for cramps? I'm also soooo bloated.
Less than a week already!!!! I can't believe it!...
Less than a week already!!!! I can't believe it! I've been waiting 16 years for this and then really planning it for the past 6 months. 6 Long months, but now I have less than a week to go! Thank you ladies for posting your experiences. I am learning so much and feel pretty prepared mentally. I think. :o/
Spent all day in bed yesterday I was in so much pain. Cramps are never fun and less so when you can't take anything for it. It seems the only thing my paperwork allows is tylenol and that has never helped me with cramps. Especially the awful bloating I get. The first day is usually my worst day, so I am feeling a little better today. A warm bath and heat on the tummy helped a lot. Thank you so much ladies for the advice. You guys are awesome!
OK, I have a silly question. I keep reading about...
OK, I have a silly question. I keep reading about Granny Panties. At first I thought it was a joke, but now realize you guys seem serious about it. What in the world are Granny Panties??? And why do we need them? I'm assuming we shouldn't be wearing G-Strings during recovery (although not sure why), but can we wear regular bikini panties? Or are there special panties I need to buy? And what do they look like? Has anyone posted a pic of them on their review so I know what I'm looking for?
Today was my last day at the studio. I got a lot...
Today was my last day at the studio. I got a lot of questions from the moms asking me where I was going and why. The moms on the dance team know I'm leaving for surgery and a few asked what type of surgery. I told everyone that I might have a hernia and I needed some muscle repair. Of course I immediately busied myself with things needing to be inputted into the computer, so avoided any other questions. I wonder what they will say once I return; especially if Dr. P is able to do my implants at the same time as my lift. I know I shouldn't care what they think, but I do. Thankfully it will be snowing by the time I get back, so a lot of big sweaters for me.
OMG!!!! I will have my MM in exactly 3 Days and 19...
OMG!!!! I will have my MM in exactly 3 Days and 19 hours from this very second!!! I am sooooo excited!!! I was looking at a pic I took that really shows my tummy. I look so pregnant in this pic and my boobs look sooooo gross! I can't wait to look normal again and be able to wear tight clothes without looking 5 months pregnant.
OK, so 11 more hours until my flight to MIA and...
OK, so 11 more hours until my flight to MIA and then 2 days and 13 hours until my surgery!!! I am so excited!!!!
Thank you so very much for all of...
Thank you so very much for all of your well wishes. I appreciate them so much!!!! I have to be at the surgery center at 8:30 a.m. and I'm going into surgery at 9:00 a.m. I am so, so excited. Weird that I am not nervous any more. Just really anxious and ready to get this over with so that I can start recovering.
GOOD NEWS!!! My PS stated that my pictures make me look much bigger than what I am and after looking at my breast in person, he has determined that I can have both the lift and implant at the same time. WOOHOO!!!! I so did not want two surgeries. He did state I would not be able to go as large as I want, but he will try to get me as close as possible.
Bad news, my sister ended up not being able to come. They threw a very last minute meeting at her in Mexico and then she will have to stay there another week. :-( She is so upset and so am I. My sister is the rock of my family and is always here for everything, so it will be weird not having her here.
Worse news and the reason I have been MIA for two days, when we arrived to Florida we found my father-in-law in critical condition in ICU. The doctors are stating there is nothing more they can do for him. They are planning one more meeting with a specialist and depending on what he says, my husband and his family might have to make the difficult decision of sending him to a hospice where they can make him comfortable (he's in a lot of pain) and just wait..... He's been sick for a very long time and we new this day was coming, but it is never easy. I am going through with my surgery (my husband and his mom are insisting) and since the meeting with the specialist isn't until after 5:00 p.m., my husband will be by my side until the surgery finishes.
So there is a F**ken B**ch on here who told my...
25 Oct 2012
Day of treatment
So there is a F**ken B**ch on here who told my family everything I wrote on here and probably even gave them a link to my review, so now my family is offended and left me here by myself. I have a pretty good idea who it is They even took my mother who I know would have never left me here by myself after surgery. I honestly do not think that I said anything bad about them, but non the less they are offended. I wish they would have told me they didn't want me here and I would have had this done at home where I would have the comfort one feels when in their own home and would have saved money!!!! I also could have had friends come over and help my husband who at the moment is feeling extremely overwhelmed in helping me, taking care of the kids, and his father possibly dying. He also had an appointment to see a specialist to discuss his father's issues right after my surgery. I don't know that many people in my area, but did have a couple of friends that offered to help me when I first started planning this and was going to do this in MD. I have a pretty good idea of who it is too because my niece told me how her friend just had or is having a mommy makeover.
I'm sorry ladies. Turns out the percocet was...
25 Oct 2012
Day of treatment
I'm sorry ladies. Turns out the percocet was talking putting things in my head. Some of my family left, but mom and niece were upstairs. And it seems I was sleeping and imagined the rest. Really sorry, but had a horrible dream. Going back to sleep. Will post later. Hopefully Reality.
Sorry about my earlier posts. I had a dream that...
Sorry about my earlier posts. I had a dream that seemed so real. So while my family was upstairs to keep the noise away, I woke up to a dark quiet room and thought they all abandoned me. LOL
I just took percocet and a valium, so about to pass out. I will post of how surgery went when I wake up. Love you guys and hope you guys are recuperating well and for those waiting, good luck.
The pics I just posted are from Friday. One day Post Op. I am still very very swollen.
Hi Everyone, I am already feeling great today. The...
Hi Everyone, I am already feeling great today. The first three days were the worst. My family has had a very nice laugh about my mental breakdown. lol They now jokingly tell me everything they are going to do, like if they are going to the rest room they will tell me, "Jen, I'm going to the bathroom and will be right back". My brother even called me from the restroom while using the bathroom to let me me know he was there. They will never let me live that one down. lol What happened was that my niece told me a story about her friend who had an MM and was also on a forum similar to ours (not sure which one). I had already taken the percocet and sort of mixed up reality with fiction. Well I fell asleep right after and some of my family left and the rest went to the upstairs living room with all the kids to give me some peace and quiet so I could sleep good. I woke up to a very empty and dark room and immediately started bawling thinking my family abandoned me. My DH had to call my PS (who also had a nice laugh about it) and he prescribed Valium for me. I of course I now feel like the biggest dork in my life. I can't believe I did that.
So now about my surgery. I barely slept the night before. We arrived at the surgery center at 8:00 a.m. and my surgery started at 9:00 a.m. I remember the anesthesiologist telling me he was going to give me something through my IV that will help me relax a little. A second later I opened my eyes to see a lady telling me everything was over and I did great. Well my second was actually 6 hours. My DH was told that they put in Saline Mentor implants of 375 cc and overfilled them to 450 cc. Not sure what size that will give me, but I'm hoping for at least a D. I don't remember the ride home, but my DH took a lot of pics and said I was talking about random things that made no sense. Like asking if he remembered to feed the horses, we do not have any horses. I would post the pics he took, but I look horrible. When we got to my mom's house they had the upstairs guest room all ready for me, but I took one look at the stairs and was like, "No Way". So I ended up in a make shift bed in the family room. I had to pee about every half an hour and was always super thirsty. My mouth was so dry that to eat anything, I had to take sips of water to help moisten my food to swallow. Thankfully I never got constipated, but I did start taking the stool softeners as soon as I came out of surgery and MOMs twice. Have another PO at three so need to start getting ready. I believe they are going to take the pain pump off. BTW.... I highly recommend the pain pump. It was awesome. My left boob is in a lot of pain which I will ask the PS about because my right boob is fine. Hope it's nothing serious. I will write more after my appointment.
If this review sounds weird, I am still very groggy from meds and trying the best I can to type this up.
Hi Everyone. Thank you so much for your comments....
Hi Everyone. Thank you so much for your comments. They really do mean a lot to me. You guys are such an amazing group of gals and I really love you guys.
Sorry I have been so gone. So much has happened. My father-in-law passed away and my oldest son (16) took it very hard. His grandfather was his best friend. I had to call my nephew to leave work early because he is the only one my son will ever open up to. He's doing better now, well as best as one can be doing when their best friend passes away.
Life on the MM side is going OK I guess. The the freakin binder makes me feel like I can't breathe half the time. My boobs are a lot smaller than I wanted and I am not happy with them at all. They are also super hard. The PS office told us they will teach us some massage techniques that will help. It's just hard getting in to see the PS when we are making arrangements for family who are coming in from Puerto Rico, New York, California, well all over the place, for the funeral. So now I'm wondering, if I need a revision, am I supposed to pay full price for something that I should have gotten the first time around? I was very specific on the size I wanted to end up with and I ended up with the same size or smaller than I had before.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but I just have a lot of emotions going on right now and I am very upset I did not get the boobs I have been waiting so long for.
Just a quick update for those of us who just had...
Just a quick update for those of us who just had our breast done. When you massage your breasts in your dreams, it does nothing for you in real life. I keep telling my poor husband who is running around doing funeral arrangements that I have done my massage exercises to then find out through my daughter that I have been sleeping most of the day. :-/ I guess my body is just catching up on all the lost sleep from before, but because I know that I have all these other things I have to do, I just do them in my dreams. My husband just told me it doesn't count though. :-( And why do these stupid exercises hurt so much? Any one else have a secret to share where they don't hurt as much and my breast don't have to feel so darn rock hard.
I woke up feeling pretty good and decided I would...
I woke up feeling pretty good and decided I would be there for my DH with the funeral arrangements. First in getting dressed felt really good because my boobs are not as small as I thought. Boy do I owe my PS a big apology if he is on here reading this. So far it looks like he did an awesome job. I iced my babies for a while to get the swelling down and boy do they look good. Not tiny at all. I tried on a size D cup as I believe it was TM who advised and they fit in there pretty snug. Hopefully that was not swelling and what my real boobs will look like (actually hoping for a little bigger). They are still a little weird in shape, like really puffy up top and very pointy. Hopefully that will change as they heal. Anyways, got dressed and feeling good about my boobs and flat tummy, but we only went to two different places and then I was exhausted and he had to bring me back to my mom's. I hate it that I can't be there more for my DH for funeral arrangements. I feel that since he is the oldest, a lot is falling on his shoulders. By any chance, does anyone know how to live stream besides Oovoo and Skype so that family that can't make it due to distance (Puerto Rico, New York, California, etc....) can view through live stream? Any help would be appreciated. I thought most funeral homes offered live stream, but the one his mom picked doesn't. :-(
Anyways, I am very happy with my results. Very happy I can manage without the crazy pills for pain and pretty much only taking them at night or when in a lot of pain from doing too much like now. Ladies, I can't say enough how much I appreciate all of you guys as your advice on how things are progressing are helping me a lot. You guys rock. Hope everyone is healing well and those still waiting, I will try my hardest to be there for you as everyone is being here for me. Really love you guys and wouldn't be able to get through this without you. Know one understands this emotional roller coaster except for those going through it themselves. xoxoxo
I'm not sure if I mentioned before. I had a pre op...
I'm not sure if I mentioned before. I had a pre op appointment the day after surgery (Oct 26, Friday) and they said I didn't seem to be draining much. Those were the day I took the posted pics. They gave me another appointment on the following Monday, Oct 29 to remove the pain pump and they immediately removed the drains because I was only draining between 20 to 25. So that was real good news and it felt really great to have those drains removed. :-) I'll try to post newer pics later. I hope you all are healing great and for those still waiting, time will pass by faster than you know it. Good Luck to everyone and I love you guys.
Hey everyone. Day 8 post op for me and I'm feeling...
Hey everyone. Day 8 post op for me and I'm feeling great considering everything I had to do today. Not sure if I mentioned before, but my DH is the oldest and all of the funeral arrangements have fallen on him. This included buying tickets for some of the older aunts that otherwise would not make it. And No, we are not rich, but family has to pull together and that's what we do. We did have some family from NY send us some money and we are very grateful for that.
The funeral director let me lay down in a back room while they discussed everything which felt really weird, but I really needed to lay down for a little bit. I've been up and about all day and it is now 10:30 p.m. and I'm exhausted, but not sleepy. DH dropped me off at my mom and he took off to his mom's to finish up the final touches (pics and things). I couldn't handle anymore and am now in bed. I posted some new pics. Didn't swell up as much as I thought I would, but did swell up.
I added new pics to show how I swelled up today,...
I added new pics to show how I swelled up today, but they didn't come out. Trying to post them again.
Today is 10 days Post Op and for all I have been...
Today is 10 days Post Op and for all I have been through for these past few days, I think I am doing pretty good. I seriously only had about 4 or 5 full days of rest before my FIL passed. Yesterday was the viewing and then the family had a party at my husband's uncle's house afterwards. I know, different from most, but we like to celebrate life instead of focusing on the loss. We had two huge screens streaming pics and it was comforting to see how much he loved his grandkids as most pics had him with is grandkids and from what I remember that was what his life was. His grandkids. If hurts my husband a lot that he specifically asked for our youngest who is one yrs old, but the hospital would not allow her in, so he didn't get to say good-bye to her. With the exception of my Valentine's baby, he did die surrounded by all his grandkids all holding his hands/arms and he opened his eyes once had a smile on his face when he took his last breathe. Funny how we only came to Florida for me to have surgery, and were granted the opportunity to say goodbye to a man that was truly loved by many. My MIL gave my 16 yr old son my FIL's favorite bracelet as her husband requested and my son has not taken it off for a second. He is so happy his grandpa remembered how much he always admired it knowing it was his grandpa's favorite bracelet. I'm sorry, I know this is not what you want to read, but it is just what's in my heart right now. Finally having downtime to dwell on it I guess.
On the recovery side of things. I posted a pic and wondering how swollen do you think I look? I was literally on my feet from 7:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m. yesterday and Aiy-ya-yai am I feeling it today. Not sure where all that strength came from, but I am finally depleted and feeling it. I have started wearing both my CG and then my Binder over it because I do feel the swelling. I also finally have time to rest my body and heal properly. I already told my family, as much as I love them and am so happy to see them, I plan to spend the rest of my trip sleeping and in bed healing. Not even wearing underwear and using the whole on the bottom for relieving myself when needed. If most of my swelling goes down today, I'd like to take more pics and ask your opinion on my surgery. Honest opinions please. No sugar coating it. I have my next pre-op tomorrow and would like to be honest with PS on how I feel my surgery looks. So far I think he did an amazing job and I am so happy he was able to give me the cc's I asked for with my implants, but now wondering if I need to go bigger on the breast and if it's even possible with my size/BWD. You girls are the only ones I trust since although family is happy for me, I don't think they understand what I really am going through the way you gals do.
Have I told you girls how much I love and appreciate you being here for me every step of this Surgery Roller Coaster and then dealing with my loss? Well I do. Many of you have PM'd, emailed, and texted me and I really appreciate it very much. You guys are truly loved by me and I am here for you if you need me.
Blonde, you are my rock, and I am so sorry i have not been there for you more the way you have been here for me. I love you. I really hope you are feeling much better today and so sorry you have had such a painful experience. You are already on day 6, so hoping you feeling better by now.
Will shoot over to everyone's updates now. I know I have a lot to catch up on, so bare with me. I'm trying. ;-)
Today has been a lazy day of laying down with my...
Today has been a lazy day of laying down with my feet up and I am loving it. Some of the pain caught up and I am feeling it. Mostly where my hernia was or my belly button area is. Feels so good to relax and catch up on everyone's updates. So glad to read everyone is healing so nicely.
Today has been a lazy day of laying down with my...
Today has been a lazy day of laying down with my feet up and I am loving it. Some of the pain caught up and I am feeling it. Mostly where my hernia was or my belly button area is. Feels so good to relax and catch up on everyone's updates. So glad to read everyone is healing so nicely.
Oh, and by the way, my post op appointment is...
Oh, and by the way, my post op appointment is Wednesday, not today. I don't know why I thought it was today and was so looking forward to it. My left boob still hurts a lot and my belly button area hurts a lot. Otherwise I am just exhausted.
I am so excited!!!! I just tried on my niece's...
I am so excited!!!! I just tried on my niece's size C and was completely spilling out all over. WAY, WAY TOO SMALL. So I am definitely a D or DD or maybe even bigger! I know it's too soon to determine a size since they still have to drop and fluff, but it is nice to know that I will not be a C or smaller which was my fear. Nothing against those sizes, it's just not what i wanted for me. I'm also glad Dr. P gave me the moderate plus because although I like the roundness of the moderate and the side boob they give, I really wanted some projection. Dr. P stated High Profiles would have given me too much projection and that moderate plus would be better for me and he was absolutely right. I love his honesty and professionalism. I am now really happy with what I have and really loving my PS. :o)
I am really scared to write this update because...
I am really scared to write this update because most of you girls will think I am nuts. When I should have been resting yesterday, I decided to go out with my husband and his aunt shopping. She is from California and when in Florida turns into a shopaholic; her favorite mall being Sawgrass Mills, which is huge. We were in the stores from the early afternoon until they kicked us out. I wore my CG the whole time and was surprised that I did very well. Walked a little slower than normal, but only had to sit a couple of times. I actually really enjoyed myself. My DH aunts decided we should go to Victoria's Secret to buy me a bra, although we both know my bra size will change. We just thought it would be fun. Well it was anything but fun. The women at Victoria's Secret are mean and nasty when they find out you have a boob job. I got pawned off from one lady to another like three times and the last lady, who was supposedly a professional for women with boob jobs, practically told me off because it was way too early for me to be there buying bras. Duh, we knew that and it wasn't her money we were spending anyways. We ended up not buying anything there and the lady made me feel real bad.
Well the I'm nuts part is, that my DH family (who most leave today) called us and invited us to go out to a club in Miami Beach. Usually a very fun thing, but 1) I was only 12 days post op and 2) I mourn a little different than they do and still thinking of my FIL, so not a good idea. Everyone begged, his cousin is the DJ of the club and promised we would have a table and his aunt promised to stay sitting at the table with me and she doesn't drink or dance so I thought what the heck. Well, the table ended up getting free drinks because his cousin was the DJ and I don't drink hard liquor. So why did I drink? Well because I'm an idiot. After a few drinks I convinced myself that i was only having pain in my left boob and his dad would want me to enjoy myself being we don't come to Florida much. I felt fine besides the left boob so I went out to the dance floor. I had fun and came home with still no pain with the exception of that one boob. My poor husband, who doesn't drink at all, had to then deal with a crazy lady who decided sex would also be OK. He said No, but without going into details, lets just say I gave me no choice. Well now both boobs hurt. :-/ A lot. :-(
Today is my PS appointment and I am scared to tell him my crazy fiasco of last night, but I know I have to. Still don't know what I was thinking. My BB doesn't hurt anymore and the pain in my boob is not bad enough for my crazy percocets, so I just took some tylenol. I just really don't think I was supposed to drink any alcohol yet and definitely not hard liquor... well I should NEVER drink hard liquor because I can't handle it. I don't get hang overs or anything like that, but I know I should have waited for my PS to OK sex and I feel guilty and embarrassed that I didn't. My husband tried to tell me No, but he's a man and can only take so much of a girl being very bad. Not sure what to tell my PS and I really hope I didn't mess up my boobs. :-(
Officially 2 weeks Post Op today and I can't...
Officially 2 weeks Post Op today and I can't believe how fast time has flown. Quick update because my flight leaves today and need to get to airport soon.
PS appointment went great!!!! DH tried to abandon me and fake a phone call because he thought we would get reprimanded about sex, but I took his phone. Dr. Pane stated if I'm dancing and having sex with no issues, that was great!!! Yay!!! My incisions look AMAZING!!! I posted pics, but we forgot to take a pic of TT before they re-taped it. It is also very thin, low, and look amazing. This might sound silly, but I was concerned that everyone is having muscle spasms and so much pain and I'm not. I had a horrible first few days, but been standing straight from about day 2 or 3 and have been on my feet since my FIL passing which was just a few days after my surgery. Dr. Pane stated that my not having too much pain or muscle spasms was great and was very happy with my recovery. Again, my incisions look amazing!!! I am so, so happy!!!! With my dark skin, I was really worried about having very noticeable scars, but I am only 2 weeks Post Op and you can barely see them already.
One thing I am worried about is my BB. I didn't want to end up with a giant whole, but didn't want an outie either. Not sure what mine will be. Dr. Pane stated it should go in some and it's still swollen. I hope so. But all in all, GREAT SURGERY RESULTS. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!!!
OK, so this stinks!!! I just knew it was too good...
OK, so this stinks!!! I just knew it was too good to be true. Woke up very sore and super swollen. My CG is so tight that it's cutting into me. My DH thinks I should take it off and only wear the binder loosely, but I don't even feel like moving anymore. So stuck in bed today. My daughter will have to cook dinner. I am so blessed to have her. She took her brother to get his hair cut and took the baby. My 4 year old is still here, but watching Tinkerbell so should be OK for as long as that movie lasts.
So my aches seem to be my bb (or maybe it's the hernia repair), my ab muscle, I think my lipo areas because on my sides, my boobs - but not the incisions, just the boobs feeling kind of...... I'm not sure how to explain. It's a weird pain mostly on the sides. I think it's from the CG straps, so I pulled straps down. This darn CG is so tight that it's not like if it's going anywhere without the straps anyways.
I don't care, though. Still VERY glad I did this. This little set back will not put a damper on that. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my boobs. The are already super soft to the feel as if they were my real boobs. So don't believe the lies about saline boobs being hard and feeling fake to the touch. Mine were overfilled from 375 to 450 cc's and still feel super soft. You would never know I had a BA by touching them for sure. They feel just like my real boobs! Not sure what to say about my TT though because I'm not taking this CG off. Forget the ear plug for BB today. This CG is not coming off for anything. Either I have a small Hoo-Haa or my CG has a very large whole down there because I have no problems peeing through it and do not get it dirty. I can also poo through it with no problem. Just have to be careful with the wiping (I know, TMI), but I just pull the hole way back once my Hoo-Haa is dry because it will then cover my Hoo-Haa and then have no problem wiping my back side.
I am super behind on your reviews, so will spend the day just catching up since I can't get out of bed anyways. So don't be surprised if I'm commenting on a review you posted like 5 days ago. LOL I've had a lot happen and still catching up.
Love you guys and hope those still healing are healing well, and those who are getting ready to come to the flat side are super excited as I am excited for you!!!
I was going to post this last night, but figured...
I was going to post this last night, but figured I'd give it till the morning thinking I'd feel better. Well I don't feel any better. Not crying like last night, but still very depressed, grumpy and feel like crying. My pre-op weight was 120 lbs which I worked really hard to get to. I wanted to be 115 lbs before surgery and didn't make it. Well my post-op weight was 126 lbs. I know to some that might not seem like a lot, but I am only 4'11 so for me it is. I know I wasn't eating healthy while in South Florida (lots of Cuban bread) because 1) most of the stuff we missed eating is not sold in Pennsylvania (like Cuban bread) and 2) eating loads of Latin food our families made us. I'm starting to eat healthy again now since I've been home, so maybe that will help. I did weigh myself this morning and weighed 123 lbs. That put a smile on my face. I calculated my boobs which put me to about 1.9 lbs over, so weight wise technically I'd be about 121 lbs. Great! But I measured my waist and it is still measuring more than my pre-op measurements were!!!! How can that be possible??? Why am I so swollen??? I'm also hurting. Not OMG I'm dying pain, but feel bruised around my abdominal, my sides, and my boobs. Enough for Extra Strength Tylenol. Then taking sleeping pills to help me sleep through the day because I can't sleep while the sun is out. I know I did a lot too soon due to my father-in-law passing, but I have planted myself in this bed since I got home. I'm in bed bored to death, eating healthy, and drinking loads of cucumber water. My daughter even worked for me at the Dance Studio on Friday so I wouldn't have to. She's been pretty much running my house because my DH is working nights this week. My poor baby girl. This is so unfair to her too. She's only 20. I want this swelling to go down and my life back. I'm miserable. Oh, and to top things off, I got my period today!!! I am soooo Grumpy and feel like crying and I'm not even sure why really. I should be happy. I really hate feeling this way!
To read Part 2 of my mommy makeover story, please go here.