24 days post-op. Having issues and not so happy.

I'm so glad I found this forum. My decision to get...

I'm so glad I found this forum. My decision to get a BA has been years in the making, yet I've told not a soul...too many judgmental/negative people in my life. But I'm dying to talk to someone. My back story: Married 35 year old mother of 4 vampires...err...kids. I nursed them all exclusively: 3 months, 12 months, 15, months, & 20 months. That adds up to just over 4 years of my life putting my boobs through the ringer. Functionally, they're rock stars. But physically, they're train wrecks. I can't even fill a pre-teen 32 A bra. It's just saggy skin. I essentially wear prosthetic bras as they're 99.9% padding and not actually me. I look like a 12 year-old boy, clothes and bathing suit shopping is a nightmare...I know, I know. I'm preaching to the choir.

But my road to a BA started even before I had/breastfed kids. In 5th grade, an ugly little boy (whom I hope has been sorely disappointed in his own puberty) called me "flat" in front of 25 of my classmates. And my anxiety with my chest size started at the ripe old age of 10! Adding insult to injury, I didn't really develop until almost college (the epitome of a late bloomer) and even then I was nothing more than a small B. While the size was fine on my frame, I've always felt self-conscience about it. I'm an all natural girl - organic food, grow a garden type of person. Implants? It's the exact opposite of the lifestyle I lead. I know I should look at my breasts with pride for what they've done for my kids and feel happy with what mother nature gave me, but I don't. I still live in this 21st century society and the desire to feel and look like a woman is just too engrained in me.

This decision for a BA comes with a large dose of guilt: the money, the risk, not feeling like I am worth it, etc. etc. But I've come to a place in my life where I'm starting to feel like I deserve better. I deserve to feel confident, deserve to feel sexy, and deserve to do something that is solely for me. I've been having/raising kids for 1/3 of my life. Everything I do is for others. So while I'm still heavily racked with guilt about it, it's almost liberating thinking, "It's okay to do something for myself." I'm beyond grateful for a super supportive husband. He doesn't care if I get them or not. He hasn't pushed me at all. He's just said, "Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you." He's been amazing.

So one day in September, after too many cups of coffee and an odd surge of confidence, I called for consultations. My husband and I went to 3 consultations together when my IL's were in town visiting (under the guise of carpet shopping). We both felt the most comfortable with the same one. I waited another week after the consultations and decided it's now or never. I made the appointment for Nov. 9....it's either then or after the new year. Impulsive and uncharacteristic of me!

Here are my concerns:
SIZE:
My stats are 5'7" - 118 lbs. (competitive athlete). I don't have the tissue or frame to handle large implants. I've decided on silicone and under the muscle, but still don't know about CCs and would love your thoughts. One surgeon (whom I didn't go with) had a 3D picture thing and said I should go bigger than I think. He liked 375s, but I felt more comfortable with 320s. The surgeon I decided to go with, however, said 304 would probably be my max. I'm going for a natural "did she/didn't she?" look and he said that is what would achieve it. He even said 286s would be good. But I'm so scared of going too small. I mean, I'll be grateful for anything at this point, but I keep reading over and over again to go bigger than you think. Should I go up to 339s??

RECOVERY: I gave birth without medication 4 times and yet I'm more scared about this surgery! I don't want to be naive and say it will be easy. I keep reading about all of these things women here have bought to prepare (special bras, scar cream, etc.). I've been told nothing. My meds will be called in for me the day before. That's it. And I kinda wish I could get an anti-anxiety pill and start taking it like now. lol. I'm also worried about how to take care of my family. Husband took 3 days off afterwards, but we have no other family around for 2000 miles. We're on our own with 4 busy kids. Would love your tips on how to survive the first week!

SAFETY: First of all, I'm nervous about voluntary surgery. Secondly, I'm nervous about the implants themselves. At one consultation, the surgeon said it is recommended to get an MRI to detect leaking every 5 years. She also said I need to feel comfortable with the concept of not being able to see 5% of my breast tissue in mammograms, etc. That's scary. And reading over the Allergan pamphlet and waivers I have to sign is extremely sobering. Anyone else feel nervous about their implants' safety?

RESULTS: I'm worried about complications - capsular contraction, shape, size, feel, pain, etc. etc. I'm also worried about how my family will react - my kids and my extended family. Like I said, I've not spoken a word about it. I'm also worried about getting the blues and feeling disappointed that this won't be as life changing as I anticipate it will be.

Any and all advice, thoughts, and opinions on the above are more than welcomed! (Would especially love to hear your thoughts on size). In the meantime, I'll get some before pics of my miserable breasts up as well as a picture of that 3D imaging. Thanks in advance!

I went in this morning for a second sizing session...

I went in this morning for a second sizing session and I'm just so excited. It's funny....at home I'm all worried and anxious and second guessing myself about everything just about every 30 seconds. But I go into the office and they do such a good job of making you feel like it is no big deal, easy peasy, you're going to look fantastic, etc. I got a sudden burst of excitement and now I can't wait for my big day.

I'm deciding on between 304-339 silicone unders. I've decided to not give it anymore thought because at this point, I feel like it doesn't matter how many pictures you see, how many comparisons you make, your CCs will look unique on you and you alone. I'm going to just relax and leave the final decision up to my Dr. I'll bring the photos I like to pre-op along with my photos of absolute "no's" not this. I chose this Dr. because he was the one who understood my desire to maintain an active lifestyle, maintain my proportions, and still participate in my sport (I'm a competitive rower). The other Drs where pushing big, big, big. I liked the fullness of the 339s compared to the 304s, but at the end of this whole process, I don't think I want to be bigger than the 339 picture. I'll upload pictures shortly - would love opinions!

I'm home and recovering. I haven't posted much...

I'm home and recovering. I haven't posted much because 1) i was on boob overload. I needed to step back and stop obsessing. And 2) I have 4 kids and work PT out of the home. I spent the last two weeks prepping to be out of commission for a while.

Anyway I'm home now and feeling "meh"...pain is a bit more than I thought. I have well developed pecs due to rowing so my dr said it will be a bit more uncomfortable. I feel sore as heck - like a truck parked on my chest. I haven't seen the girls yet, but get to shower tomorrow so ill look then. I'm a bit scared actually!

So I'm one of the seemingly few girls to go smaller than was discussed. I went in last week for sizing and chose 339s. Bit after a lot of internal debate, decided that's too big for me. I want to look like I would have per kids. I know people say you'll regret not going bigger. Maybe. But I'm a fan of not trying to make your body do what it can't do. I'm 5'7", 115, and athletic. I want to fill a bathing suit, but not spill out of it. My dr and I debated the 304 and 286. He said he could pretty much guarantee the results I was after with 286 unders. He would have to cut more fibers with 304s and stretch the pockets more. I decided to trust his expertise and went with the 286s. Now to wait to see how they look!

No nausea, but worried about sleeping upright tonight. I wish we had a recliner... Pillows will have to suffice!

Day 1 post op. Looked at the girls for the first...

Day 1 post op. Looked at the girls for the first time. Wow! They seem so big! Worried my left one is going into my armpit a bit. I'll post a picture. They're still super sore. Hurts to breathe deep. Taking my pain meds and icing like crazy. Husband helped me shower which made me feel a lot better. He's been a rockstar managing the house and 4 kids while I'm out of commission. :)

I feel more like myself by the hour. Had a big cry...

I feel more like myself by the hour. Had a big cry last night - wondering if I did the right thing. It started to sink in I have these things in my body now. I really started to worry about everything.....but I think the lack of activity, the reliance on my poor husband these past few days, etc. etc. was getting to me. I'm still exhausted, but I can finally take a deep breath without pain. I think my body really hated me the first 2 days.

My left boob continues to be larger than the right. I'm trying not to freak out about it yet. It's only been 3 days, but I'm worried it's more than swelling. You can tell from my pre-op pictures there wasn't really a difference in size beforehand. I'll post today's pics shortly.

Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since my surgery. It's...

Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since my surgery. It's been, well, not so easy. I've been really surprised on how much discomfort I'm still in. Mostly it is soreness, but also lots of burning and stinging from what I assume is nerve regeneration. I thought for sure by now I'd be feeling pretty good. But I'm probably only at 60% back to myself. I'm still taking a muscle relaxer 2x a day and tylenol off and on. My surgeon said the relaxer will help my developed muscles (from rowing) stop being so tight. Admittedly, I've probably been doing to much. Four kids and my husband returned to work this week...I've had no choice but to step up my activity level.

BUT, the good news is that I'm really happy with the girls at this point. Swelling has gone down and they are a lot softer. My pics posted are from a few days ago, but they've dropped even more since then. I'm also really happy with the 286 size. I can't imagine going any bigger and being able to achieve a natural look. I feel like they are huge on me right now. I'm a C cup right now which is awesome. But they're not too big that they'll get in the way of my activities/athletics or cause too many stares. I'm really hopeful I'll love my look once they're settled. But first....to start feeling better. :(

I'm 24 days post op and things are definitely...

I'm 24 days post op and things are definitely different than I thought they'd be. I'm having some issues and not real thrilled at this point. Here they are from least to worst:
1. Mondor Cords - developed under right breast. They're harmless, I know, and will go away, but disturbing and sore.
2. Size - I know things will settle over time, but I feel like I may have gone too big. Yes. With 286s. They really hit my arms and it's annoying. They look fine under clothes, but naked I think they're still really ridiculous...especially when I lift my arms. But I will be patient and see how they settle. I cannot believe I ever considered 304s or 339s.
3. Rippling - I'll post a photo.You can feel it on the outside of both breasts, but you can actually see it on the left. My PS said he expected that I would have it due to little tissue, but he didn't tell me that he expected it. Huh. I knew it was a risk, but would have been better prepared had he told me his thoughts on it beforehand.
4. PAIN - I am experiencing SEVERE NERVE REGENERATION pain. It feels like my skin is covered in broken glass and the insides of my breasts are full of pine needles. I gave birth naturally 4 times. I can tolerate pain. But this has me gritting my teeth and virtually unable to function all day. It pervades my every thought. Heck, every breath as my skin rubs on my bra and is excruciating. I went to see my PS and he said the best I can do is massage them with a wash cloth in the shower (torture) to desensitize them. It helps them feel numb for about 5 minutes, but that's it. No pain medication I've tried helps at all. I've done some reading, but haven't seen anyone who describes it as intensely. I've started massaging with arnica a few times a day and am taking vitamins that I've read may help with nerve regeneration. This is day 15 with ZERO improvement. It's really impacting my life as well as my family's life because I'm so miserable and abrupt with my sweet kids. My poor husband...so eager to get to know the girls, but I can't even imagine letting him near them. I've read it can take months or even a year for symptoms to improve. I've also read it can be permanent which scares the bejeezus out of me. My PS said removing the implants may not help because the nerves will still be damaged. I knew loss of sensation was a risk, but never knew pain like this was a risk. I'd take loss of sensation over this pain. The worst part, I've found myself wistful for my old, pain-free, boobs. Flat and all. At least I could function. I will continue to remain hopeful and try to work through this stage. But I was wholly unprepared for it and am growing weary/angry for having done this to myself on purpose. :(
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Please update your review, we would like to know how you're feeling about your implants and whether the nerve issue has resolved.
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Oh dear! How are you now?
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OH! I am getting Silicone implants as well and my PS said that by the time I need an MRI, they will be doing ultrasounds instead to detect leakages .This was one of the factors that made me decide to do silicone afterall...
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Thanks for sharing your experience.I hope you are feeling better. I guess it's a good thing that the nerves are trying to fix themselves. Instead of going dead... right? I hope it resolves for you quickly.I worry about having buyers remorse. I hope yours is only temporary. I think you look amazing- I couldn't see the rippling and I think it's great that you stuck with your gut instinct and didn't go for the higher CCs.
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Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I had the same issue for about a week and a half. It was horrible. When I asked my PS about it, he said it can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. I hope you get some relief very soon. If it's any consolation, I think it's actually a good thing. It's a normal part of the healing process, and means that the nerves are "recovering" from surgery. Good luck! :)
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I checked with my friend who had some similiar experience and it took about three weeks to get over it. It did go away and she feels great now but she was very miserable. I hope you are doing better!
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I wanted to mention, are there any supplements or oils you can ingest to help your nerves heal? Something is rattling around in the back of my head telling me that you need more fat, bodyfat, to help in wound healing...am I making any sense...? I want to say cod liver oil. My mother is a Nazi prison camp survivor, and she and her siblings were rail thin. After they were rescued, all the ex prisoners were kept in camps and everyone was fed lots of cod liver oil. Mom tells me that they all blossomed and aches and pains vanished as they put on some weight.
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How about Omega 3,6,9s? How are you holding up? Any improvements this week?
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I have a friend who had the same experience! She said it was unbelievable. It did go away. Let me know if I need to ask her any questions for you.
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Wings! Yes! I'm so so so happy to hear it went away for her. You have no idea. How long did it take? Did she take anything or use anything? What did her PS have to say about it? I'm thrilled to know I'm not alone! You're friend nailed it: it's unbeliveable! Thank you so much!
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I'm sorry you're having such a difficult recovery kit. I never experienced painful ultra-sensitive nipple issues, however mine are still a bit "numbish". (at nearly 1 year post op was hoping to gain more sensation back! *sigh*) Have you tried numbing cream to reduce the pain? A woman recently posted here regarding the same issue you are going through and said wrapping  breasts in saran wrap made her feel better... Hope my advice helps! Good luck hunn
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Thanks, Kooberry! I am using Arnica Gel - I posted a question and this is what one of the PS suggested. It does take the edge off for which I'm grateful. I am totally going to try that plastic wrap idea! I've bought 8 bras so far and they're all torture. I've sewn a fleece bra liners, but the still are uncomfortable after a while. I've taken to just going braless or wearing a silky tanktop BENEATH my stretch bras...sexy, huh? LOL. If you think of it, can you direct me to that post by that woman? I feel so alone on this one. Thanks so much!
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Hi! It's nice to find someone on here that is also from Minneapolis! I had my BA on October 11th. It sounds like you are dealing with some issues that I have been through also. Thank God for this site, it helps us all feel like we are not alone in the "Boob Journey"! I'm currently dealing with some recovery issues my self, so I'm hoping to hear from some other girls on their same experience, thoughts, and advice. Good luck to you and I know that you will live your new additions as you get further along in your recovery. 24 days post op is really not that far along when you consider the big picture. I'm 7 1/2 weeks post op and I keep reminding myself that's not really far along either. I'm looking forward to 3 months, as that seems to be a turning point for a lot of people. Keep me posted and if there is anything I can do to help, let me know. After all, we are "neighbors"! :)
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Hi MiaKat! I just read your profile. We are suuuuuuper close in location! I'm sorry to hear that you are still dealing with issues, but you're absolutely right. We're both not that far along in recovery. I guess I'm just impatient. lol. You read all about this surgery forever and every PS I saw made it sound like such a simple thing to do that will drastically change your life. I'm not sure if I was intentionally ignorant, naive, or just hopeful, but I thought recovery would be better by now. You know, I spent so much time worrying about how they would look post-surgery and so little time thinking about how they would feel post-surgery. Now I know. lol. Keep me posted on your progress, neighbor!!! :)
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I remember thinking they were way too big when I first got them, especially because it seemed like they were in the way of my arms. I mentioned this to my PS at my 6 weeks appointment, and he said it's because they are now proportionate to my body. Having "side boob" is a good thing. He then showed me the pictures he took of me right before surgery, and I could not believe the difference! I was so straight up and down on the sides, looked like a boy! Having "side boob" gives more of the hour glass shape so many women want. I am slowly getting used to it. It does still feel a little weird, like when I want to cross my arms, or even when I'm washing my hands and I can feel my boobs against the insides of my arms. Weird. :)
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You're right. It does look proportional. I've just never had it before! It just takes some getting used to....suddenly looking female and all. lol. :)
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Aaaahhhh! After reading your posts, I am second guessing myself! My surgery is this Wednesday and I'm really really nervous! I dont want to regret this and wish for my old boobies (or no boobies) back! I too am an athletic runner. I have requested to go only to a size B. I dont want anything hampering my movement or bouncing around when I run! I was adamant that I dont want to go big when I spoke to my PS. He never talked much about what cc's but reassured me he would go with a conservative size. Still, I dont think I can take the kind of pain you are having! Plus, nipple sensation is a huge plus for me, and hubby is very afraid I'm going to loose it. Hhhhmmmmmm, I'm going to go think for a bit! Thanks so much for you sharing your story!
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Hey there! As for size, talk about CCs or at least show him pictures of what is too big. Your definition of natural or a "B-cup" might vary from his. I have a friend whose PS chose her B-cup request...she has D's and hates them. She runs with them in 2 sports bras. She really hates having to buy bigger shirts to accommodate her breasts because the shirts are too boxy and make her feel fat instead of fit. I think pictures are crucial so you can make sure you're talking about the same look. Also, I'm wondering if my conservative 286s were still too big for me. Had I gone smaller, would I have had less nerve pain? As for my intense pain, I think I'm on the rare side. My PS he's only had a handful of patients who have my complaints over the last 20 years he's been doing augmentations. I know a lot of women get this to a certain degree, but not this badly. As for nipple sensation loss, mine were numb at first, but now are HYPER sensitive x1000. They feel breastfeeding sore like those first 2 weeks of breastfeeding where your nipples are raw. I'm hopeful this is a good sign as I now have feeling back. They just need to calm the heck down! I won't say I regret my surgery yet...I'm just nervous I will if things persist. But I think going into this decision with eyes wide open (instead of just crossing your fingers you're experience will be flawless like I did), is the only way to be fully prepared. There are a large percentage of women who do fall into that flawless experience category - I hope you'll be one of them!! :)
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I don't think smaller would have made a difference. Your nerves are crabby right now. But take heart, my sister had a full lift, and then big implants put in, and her nipples were intensely painful like yours. She now reports they have calmed down. Her BA was in August. Is the pain just in the nipples or all over?
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I think you look awesome! I was drawn to your story because I also live in MN, but also because I'm also athletic and going for a smaller implant (265 CC). Your after pictures are amazing and fit your body beautifully!
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Well hello, neighbor! When is your surgery? Who are you going to? I think 265 is a great choice. In fact, I wish I would have considered it. All you read here is go bigger than you think, but now that I know, I disagree. It's so body and life style dependent. 286 was the smallest I ever tried on and I was sure I was going to regret a "small" implant. Now I wish I would have looked at a bit smaller. They look fine under winter clothes, but I'm wondering if they'll look obviously fake when the warmer weather comes around. Plus, because I had so little tissue, even the 286s are causing me issues like rippling. Anyway, go with your gut/what your surgeon tells you, but don't be swayed into going bigger just because. I'm looking forward to hearing more of your journey!
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Thanks for the insight, and I'm so sorry to hear of your constant pain. I am hoping this is NOT a permanent thing. BA's are a major surgery and you have to question if someone had a different type of major surgery if they'd still be experiencing pain this far out from surgery date... I don't think so - at least not to the degree you are feeling it. I feel terrible for you. I live in the Fargo/Moorhead area so quite a distance from the cities, but a MN girl nonetheless. Please keep us posted as you recover and girl... honestly, I think you need to raise holy hell with your PS. Is rippling this early on normal? I would post it as a question for the doctors on this site to get their perspective and show them a picture and let them know how recently you had your surgery.
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Hi ~ Your results are very natural looking! I'm on day 10 post-op, and mine are still sitting very high on my chest. I've been told to go bra-less until I get my sutures removed, so trying to dress in anything but a sweatshirt has been a challenge. I spent an hour in my closet tonight trying on clothes that I could wear to church tomorrow...so depressing! I've resorted to wearing bandaids over my nipples, lol. Anyway, I enjoyed reading your story. I find that the more active I am, the less sore I feel. Hope you start feeling more like yourself soon!
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How are you doing? Have the dropped a bit for you? Are you wearing a band at all? The good news is from what I've read, they WILL drop for you and look lovely. Hopefully you're seeing it start to happen already and clothes trying on will be a lot more fun. I hear you on the nipple thing, though. I've got that problem now, too!. Yikes!
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I'm wearing a band, and they may have dropped a tad but it's hard to tell when you look at them 50 times a day =) Just read your 12/3 update. Sorry you're not feeling so good. I read a tip on here a while back that might help with the skin sensitivity. Slather your chest in lotion and cover with a small piece of saran wrap where it's sensitive. It works great! The lotion keeps it in place and your shirt doesn't constantly rub. I make the pieces just big enough to cover the top half and just past my nipples. Might not help so much with the nerve pain, but at least it will reduce friction. Hang in there, this too shall pass!
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