24 Years Old… No longer do I want boobs, I finally HAVE boobs! 410/380cc Sientra Silicone Mod Plus- Miami, FL

Hi everyone, I want to start off by saying coming...

Hi everyone, I want to start off by saying coming across this website has been a blessing! I've been nonstop reading other ladies' stories on their breast augmentation experience. It makes me excited but scared! A little bit about me, I'm 24 years old and will be 25 years old this coming summer. Small frame with some curves (except in the chest area) I have a super small wasit, 4"11 at 123 lbs. Hoping to lose the college weight I gained, roughly about 10-15 lbs. I've been thinking about this for a while back and forth, sometimes the phase passes so I go on with my life. Recently the last 6 months, I can't stop thinking about having bigger breast. I'm set on getting my BA. I still talked about it for a while and then one day I actually had the guts to pick up the phone and call to set up 3 consultation appointments in South Florida that will be all on March 7th in about 3 weeks!!!! AHHH I'm really going through with this??? Right now I want to trick myself in thinking I'm a 32B... however I probably can fit a 32A if I wanted. ALL my bras are bombshell from VS adding 2 extra cup sizes. But with them off... it's horrid! Mine are kind of pointy, they look weird when I lean over, no cleavage. I want to wear an unpadded bra, bombshell is pretty thickly padded and hard. People tell me mine are fine and I'm perfect the way I am, however I know they haven't seen me without my bombshell. I avoid the beach or pool because my lack of boobies. If I go, i make sure I wear extra padding. All the women in my family have good size breast but me. No Joke. My 2 sisters have a good C cup and my mom has a full C cup as well. Why am I the only one that ended up unlucky? I use to get teased by my sisters, even by boys calling mine "mosquito bites." I also have a boyfriend of 4 years and the crazy thing is he hasn't even seen me fully naked. I'm just insecure about that part of my body. If he has seen my boobs, it's in the dark. I just want to walk around super confident in my own skin. I feel like what better time to do it than now. I'm hitting mid-20s. I don't plan on having kids for a good 3-5 years so why not take advantage of the next few years and look great and enjoy my body. I'm planning to do 300-325cc silicone under right now, that could change at the consultation. I definitely want a natural look. I want people to question if I had a BA or not, I want it noticeable but not fake-ly noticeable. Hope that makes sense. I will post some pics before, during, and after! I do have some boobie withdrawals. I know with all surgery there is risk. Any advice on what to do to prepare myself? Any addition information I should research? I'm scared, but i really want this done!

Update- my current size now. Pretty FLAT!

Here are some current bikini pics.... I'm pretty flat. When I lay down, oh god they disappear. When i get up, they are so pointy. Right now the way they are i keep them in a bra or hidden at all times. Can't wait to have full boobies! Does anyone recommend a good CC size for me? I would be like be a C, not sure if I want a full C cup or not... People say with my small 4"11 frame it will look too fake. I want to be proportional and natural looking.

More up flat preop pictures.

Consultations in 3 weeks! I'm very nervous but I feel like I've chosen the 3 best doctors in Miami. All were booked out for consultations, earliest I could do is 4 weeks out, i booked them a week ago. I'm happy all 3 are able to see me on the same day so I don't have to take off of work multiple days off to see the doctor. One of the office coordinators said usually after the consultation if you decide to go forward with the BA surgery scheduling will be at lease 4-6 weeks out. That's how booked they are.

Here are addition pics of me postop flat chested! I feel like the pictures I've been posting are ones of me with my so called "cleavage"... This is me BRA-LESS! Now you can see the difference and I am indeed very flat! Help! :(

Home made rice sizers!!!!

I wanted to see the fullness of having boobs in a bikini so I made my own home made rice sizers. Each are about 1.5 cups of dry rice. I forgot what that is equivalent to in CC. I think that's like 375 CC. I love the fullness! I definitely do not want a D cup, I think a C will be good for me. I want 3 weeks to hurry up so I can get my consultation, pick my doctor, do the damn surgery and have a nice body for summer. I live literally right by the beach and it's pretty much summer year round in Florida. Been so long since I've been to the beach due to my insecurity of my body/ breast. What do you guys think?...

Wish pics!!!!

Here is the type of boobies I'm aiming for. Nothing too big and crazy but good enough for me! I hope 300-350 CC will help me get this look. What do u ladies think? I have a small handful of breast tissue so it's not like I'm completely just skins and nipples. Lol I need to shed 10 lbs before surgery. Time to get serious at the gym!

Bought my first compression sports bra!

They're more like sports bra than compression probably because I don't have anything to be compressed... YET! Lol you can see excited I am to get this done and I haven't even had a consultation yet. Hahaha they are actually pretty comfy. Color is ugly tho. I may wear them to work out. Lol

I already have of a list of things I need for the surgery: scar cream, cocoa butter, soup, Gatorade, prunes (just from what I hear after the surgery *hint hint), neck pillow, zip hoodie/ button up shirts, ect. I haven't gotten all of them yet because its too soon, but I have made my list. I always like preparing that way I don't forget anything.

Off topic, I think I'm going to buy the book called "The Defining Decade" a book about adults in their 20s and how important those years are. I think I will read that when I'm in recovery mode... When I'm not in and out of sleep. I'm planning to take off 6 days of work... Hope that will be plenty of time to recover. Lol anyone has ever read that book? Any good?

2 weeks!!!!!!

Today marks 2 weeks until my 3 consultations. I can't imagine how nervous I'll be for the actual procedure if this is how I am over the consultation! I'm excited to meet my PS and book a date! I've been researching like crazy. Bad surgeries, risk, rippling, bottoming out, incision infection, deformation of the sizes being off, anesthesia reaction. It's definitely a concern of mine. U never know what could happen. I need to find a doctor that I trust! What freaks me out the most is the recovery... I'm terrified of pain!

What I need to do is hit the gym!!! I need to get as much work out in as possible. I want to lose 10 lbs before. The bloating scares me. Gaining all that weight, that's not fun at all. Any suggestions of ways to lose weight? I eat fairly healthy, only drink water and Gatorade, minimal alcohol (1-3 beers every 2 weeks), maybe eat out once a week, cardio 3-4 times a week, yet I can't seem to lose weight. I'm at 123 lbs on a good day. Would love to be 110 lbs - 115 lbs. Help!

How to make time fly?

So I'm boobie obsessed! I guess it's a phase until u actually get boobs. I can't contain myself... Been doing some online shopping as well as in stores. Finding super cute clothes, bras, bralettes I can't wait to fill out after having a new pair of girls. Since I'm petite I can only imagine I'll still be wearing a small or medium in different clothes. Here are some pics of cute lingerie and bralettes I want to purchase. I love the VS sexy French Maid outfit... Knowing me I'd just wear it around the house with heels when no one is home but me lol every woman wants to feel sexy. Lol ahhh can't wait! Can't wait to go braless in some tops and tanks and dresses and not worry about being flat or chicken cutlets not showing, all u need is nipple pasties!

Im working all this week then next week I'm getting off work early on Thursday March 6th to head to Miami. My family is from there but my job takes me to a different part of the state. I have my 3 consultations on Friday March 7th. First one at 8:45am, the next at 11:30am and last at 2pm. I hope that's enough time to squeeze them all in. I'd be devastated if I miss one, sometimes I hear there are delays even when u have an appointment- typical doctors office.. But I plan on coming at least 30-45 mins before, they are all located within 20 mins of each other. I have already filled out my paperwork for 2 of the offices to save some time. One was online the other they sent to me! All getting so close! I'm aiming for mid April to actually have the surgery! Just in time for summer!

1 week!

I'm exactly ONE week away from my consultations... i feel like it's going to fly by so quick. Heading to Miami on this coming Thursday. I have so many questions. I want to make sure i have everything prepared so when i go in i know what questions to ask and what to expect. There's so much to think about... CC size/ financing/ risk/ testing/ am I even a BA candidate?

i was really thinking about financing, but reading AWFUL reviews about care credit makes me not want to go that route. I've been saving and could pay half up front and possibly borrow the rest from family, but i really want to kind of do it myself because this is for me u know. I'm worried about capsular contracture/ rippling/ bottoming out.... i mean u never know. It's scary. You cant control what happens sometimes. I feel like sometimes i'm getting "boobie withdrawals" but i really do want this... it's too late to go back now. I have already spent like over $100 bucks on new bralettes/ bustiers/ sports bra. I'm so excited, i can't contain myself when i go shopping. I find myself in the lingerie/ bra department just browsing thru the cute stuff.

Anyways.... what do you ladies think on care credit?.... anyone financed their service thru them? I hear they have "promotional periods" interest free- however they do get you somehow and u end up paying way more than you agreed and then you cant do anything but to PAY IT because it will mess up your credit if you don't. UGH.

I couldn't help myself!!!

So... I probably broke one of the first rules when u are in process of getting a BA. WAIT to buy cute bras/ bikinis/ bralettes/ and tops. Lol I know you don't really know your size until you actually get a BA and they settle into your body months after surgery. Nowadays when I shop I can't help but come across cute stuff! If u know me I LOVE shopping especially if its a bargain! Lol u couldn't contain myself. What a deal! There's a HUGE VS outlet by my house and most bras are $20 or less. I got a bralette that originally was $24 for $4 and also cute bikini pieces for $7 each. I got cute bustiers, bikini tops, and a few other sexy tops. I haven't gotten any wired bras yet tho. But since I honestly don't want like ginormous boobs I feel safe if I get a medium... I donno. I never see myself being a girl who wears a large top and XS bottom. But I can't speak too soon. Maybe if im bigger out of surgery then I'll just give them to my sisters who one is older and the other younger both have bigger boobs than me. :( I was cursed... At least I got the itty bitty waist! Lol hah :)

I'm really wanting a full C. I think 350cc would be good for me.... Or maybe 375cc... Ahhh! Lol what a decision! I added some pics of a cute push up bikini too I got for $14. I find it crazy that cute bras and cute tops like lingerie and bustiers usually are cheap. Of course the girls with NO boobs have to pay $50 for one freakin VS bonbshell to make it look like we have something! lol oh don't be fooled by pics, I stuffed then with my homemade rice sizers. Lol oh and don't mind me, I'm so pudgy, I'm kind of bloated as well, feel my lovely monthly friend going to pay me a visit soon. Ugh. Joy of being a female. I'll keep u ladies posted.

Woke up feeling bummed and sad... :(

So... I woke up this morning kind if depressed... It's probably Mother Nature pre-pmsing b changing my moods. I'm all over the place when I get my period. My poor bf has to deal with my mood swings. I get really sensitive over the littlest things when in pre pmsing. But I feel fat and chunky... If u know me, I have had a weight battle my whole life. I was never naturally skinny. If I eat unhealthy i WILL gain weight. My metabolism is a lil slow. If you want a better idea.... A lot of ppl describe me to SNOOKI from jersey shore... I'm not dumb tho. Lol but before she lost weight, she wasnt exactly obese but he had a good chunk of meat on her. That's how I am. I did gain 15 lbs after college and haven't been able to get it off since. I've worked out n seeing no results I kinda give up. I've even thought about resorting to lipo... And since my consultations are in less than a week I was thinking of bringing it up. I'm scared tho. Recovery would be just worse with having to recovery from 2 procedures. Plus the body bruising scares me to death. Lol but I'm not happy with my thighs or arms and even my muffin top/love handles. My thighs touch n are super jiggle, sometimes its hard to fit in pants cuz of my thighs. my arms arent string beans or muscular, they def got fat on them. why cant all the fat in my body go to my boobs? that would solve a lot of things lol I'm 4"11 and girls my height are closer to 100 lbs, me on the other hand, I'm like 123-126lbs.... U can imagine and extra 15-20 lbs on a small body can look significant. My own family has mentioned my weight gain n it makes me feel bad n uncomfortable. I cover up n wear loose fitted shirts to hide it. I use to be size 0,1, and 3. I'm pushing size 4 and 5 now. Which sucks. I want to wear cute clothes again... Some that shows my belly or arms.. I need I find motivation. I eat pretty clean, I don't eat out as much and I like cooking my meals- brown rice and baked chicken, no salt ms dash seasoning.... I usually have that for lunch. I drink no soda, only water or Gatorade. I was thinking about doing crossfit, it's intense but results are amazing, since I lack a lil in self confidence, I'm scared I won't fit in. Seems like everyone that does cross fit is like super fit already before joining. They make u do stuff like pulls up n dead lifts which I can't even do 1 pull up n I can lift only like 25-50 lbs. Idk, my goal was to shed 10 lbs by the consultation which didnt happen. Hopefully when u get my surgery date I will get motivated to lose this weight before. Ahhhh. Just a morning thought that I had... Bummed.

Freaking myself out!

I do extensive researching on EVERYTHING before engaging in anything. In this case, i looked up my PS's background- when and where they went to school, for how long have they been in practice, any malpractice in their background, even age.... Shockingly enough i came across a bunch of online local news articles in south florida about tragic surgery mishaps. I came across an article about a young girl who got her BA done by a well popular PS in south florida and she went into a coma shortly after and now she's basically paralyzed and dependent. She was a beautiful girl and had a young child too... what a tragic that during surgery her heart rate decreased and then an hour after surgery she ended up in the ER.... The doc also had a anesthesiologist that was in prison for selling prescription drugs online. Crazy cuz it was recent too, less than a year ago and article was posted feb 11th, 2014. I rather not mention the doctor's name or facility because i do not have any intention of scaring anyone out of going to him. His work looks awesome, however this is not something i'd like to read on my PS. His rates are a lot cheaper than any PS i've ever researched tho. I honestly rather pay a bit more for a better doc... i am a true believer in "you get what you pay for" with reason. Obviously i wouldn't pay $20,000 for boobs, but the quality def has to be there. If boobs are like $500... there has to be something wrong, first thing in my mind isn't "wow that's a deal!" I see a red flag. I had a few ppl refer me to go to him, thank god i did my research and am sticking to my choices. I know with any surgery is risk, i don't believe i have any health conditions.... i def want to my PS to know everything about me... I do NOT have asthma, diabetes, allergic reaction to med/ anesthesia (that i'm aware of). Only small concern that i will definitely look into is that when i was younger like 7 yrs old, I had a small heart murmur (irregular heart beat)... it was not severe, no surgery needed, docs said with over time it will get better and shouldn't affect me. I'm not even sure if my heart developed and it's not irregular anymore. I never had issues.... BUT i never underwent any type of surgery before, so i will most likely get this checked out before engaging in it just to make sure I have the a-OKAY and the go for the procedure. I guess when you get closer and closer, you just want everything to be okay. :)

Not feeling myself- Mixed feelings! :(

I honestly want to cry right now... I'm feeling so much stress and anxiety. I seriously feel like i'm thinking myself into being sick. Usually whatever your mind thinks, your body follows right? I'm worrying myself sick.

So I'll be meeting all the PS this friday. I'll be heading to Miami Thursday evening. I'm getting off work hopefully a few hours early. It's a long drive. My sister is going with me but I dont know if she's going to the consultations with me. Anyways.... I had TOTALLY FORGOT a BIG/ SMALL factor that could prevent me from even having the surgery and it's stressing me the hell out. It just dawned on me yesterday. Since I was born, I've always had a minor HEART MURMUR. A heart murmur is basically an irregular heart beat. I've never needed surgery or anything for it. But I do recall going to the doctors when I was like in middle school twice a year just to check up on it. I'm so worried now that this can prevent me from going thru with the surgery. I'm so worried that if i did go thru with it and knowing this, maybe my heart will just stop in the middle of surgery because it can't take the trauma to my body and anesthesia. My friend told me about the rapper- Kanye West's mom who passed away getting cosmetic surgery, she had complications and went into cardio arrest. I know I'll have to have medical clearance before being given the go to get the surgery. Does anyone know what pre-op testing is involved before having the surgery?? Mammogram? Blood test?.... I'm 24 years old, so i think i'm a bit young to have a mammogram now. Did anyone had any pre-existing conditions before going into surgery?... Of course, i am planning to be upfront and tell the PS. I would NOT hide that. I'm just sad now because I might get NO as my answer that i'm not a candidate.... all the cute tops i've been buying in bigger sizes gone to waste. :( I honestly feel like once i see the doctor I will have some type of relief. What I really want is an ANSWER. I feel like I'm healthy... I don't smoke, no drugs (never ever did drugs- hard to believe no one believes me I never even tried), I barely drink- well compared to most people my age, no asthma, no diabetes... My mom has crohn's disease which is an intestine inflammation disease and it is hereditary, but I don't think i have that. You'd definitely know if you have that- PAINFUL!!!

Also... to top things off... I have not gotten my period, I have been feeling cramps and discomfort for the last 3 days... "pre-pmsing" however i'm not actually on my period.... By all means, I know I'm NOT pregnant. There will be no way I am for sure about that. I'm an normally irregular- like every 5 weeks or so. But hopefully i get it soon. I just want it NOW! I don't want to get it when I get down to Miami- puts me in the worse mood. Plus I wanted to go to South Beach this saturday too and get my tan on. I honestly don't want to go bloated and fat. I don't want to attract sharks too. Lol :( And none of the offices have called to confirm my consultations- what if i'm not even on the calendar?.... I'll be calling tmrw to make sure. But all this is coming down on me and I'm worried about EVERYTHING. All this crap in my head is throwing me off. I can't concentrate at work. My amazing BF who works an hour away and stays with his family during the week days is taking off work tmrw and thursday to see me before I head to Miami.... I honestly just want to hug someone. Someone help me... I just want to roll in a ball and cry. :(

I'm gaining my sanity again! :)

Hello lovely ladies! I know the last few post i've been a crazy wreck. I guess i was acting too soon. I swear I have a good reason too. I'm not normally on an emotional roller coaster. Everyone said i was worrying for nothing... which i was. Everything came down at once and I didn't take a second to breathe. First thing, last night I wanted to make sure i was NOT pregnant! I'm like 98% i wouldn't be pregnant, but there's that slim chance that crossed my mind.... so I took a pregnancy test. It came back NEGATIVE! What a relief!!!! Then I went and watched TV still feel physically shitty and tired and fat... I fell asleep and woke up at like 3am and went to the bathroom, YAY!!! I got my freakin period!!!! Finally! 6 weeks since my last period! I guess the stress cause my period to be delayed. And my period explains why I've been feeling awful for the last 4-5 days. It just has never taken this long to actually get it, I'd usually feel uncomfortable for 2 days and I knew it was coming so 4-5 days started to make me worry that it wasn't my period and possibly pregnancy.

So 2 things have been lifted from my shoulders... it explains why i was acting and feeling extremely weird and crazy. I was bloated/ tired/ boobs sensitive and hurt/ constipated/ i felt soooo heavy and no energy/ I pee'd like 4 times an hr. Well those are symptoms very similar to pregnancy and period. But anyways.... so I made it to Miami! I left my house a bit late, the drive wasn't too bad... long but i listened to good music and my sister kept me company until she fell asleep. Lol I'm so anxious now. I need to shower and get ready for bed. I'm setting my alarm for 7am. I made sure everything was okay and good to go. I called all 3 offices today to confirm my appointment... I was so worried that they didn't have me on the calendar for the consultation and i didn't want to go to the offices and be like "I'm here for my consultation" and they tell me i'm not on their schedule. I'd be so embarrassed. Only thing was i called them before they could call me. LOL They didn't have a chance to call and confirm because I did it before them. You can just see how anxious I am, i can't contain myself. Im going to the consultations alone, which is fine, as long as in surgery i have someone with me. I'm excited to meet all the doctors tmrw! Wish me luck girls! The journey is really finally starting for me!!!! Thank you all for your support and kind encouraging words... means the world to me. :)

Consultation Results!!!!

Omg I had my consultations today and I have so much to say. I was nervous but so happy i chose multiple doctors to see. Each PS has a different vision when it comes to breast especially my breast. First doctor I met was Dr. Shuster. His office is amazing. Everything clean and all white. I love the look. He was very friendly and personable. He asked me about my job and other small talk topics to make me feel comfortable. Once we got on the breast, he did mention my right boob is a lil more droopy and the nipple is not symmetrical as the left. All he said was that it was very minor that with an implant in it, it would be fuller and not be much of an issue. Only down fall is that he only specializes in transaxillary incision in the armpit. He straight up told me if I'm looking for someone who does it through the nipple or crease he wouldn't be the best doctor for me. I did not know he only does it this way. The advantage of going thru the armpit is that the scar is not visible. But i just think that isn't for me. He suggested 400cc mentor silicone mod plus for me.

My second consultation was with Dr. Hochstien. Boy, let me tell you. I had a feeling from the beginning that he wasn't the right PS for me... just the way I am how i need someone to be personal and accommodate to my needs and concerns. I understand he's confident in his work, but geez, think how i feel doing this for the first time. I waited 30 mins passed my schedule appt. I kid you not, i saw him for maybe 5-10 mins. He came in and told me what he would do, which he said something completely different from the first PS. He said that my right nipple and breast are a mess. (I'm aware it's different) But he suggest a breast life on that breast and a nipple reconstruction so it matches the left one. That kind of threw me off since the first said it's not an issue. I also so many questions and he seemed frustrated at me. I asked him something in the middle of him explaining the procedure, he really said "I'm about to get there, can i finish first??" I felt like that was so rude. The girls at the office weren't really friendly. Kind of felt stuck up to me. Also, when i was in the room trying on the sizers, another girl walked in open the door and was like "Oh i didn't know anyone was in here."... Wow really?!?... Anyways, needless to say I left there with so many questions unanswered and very disappointed. He's just not for me. He said I can go anywhere from like 339-397 cc i believe he carries only allergan/ natrelle brand implants.

Last doctor was Dr Messa. The best is saved for last. I secretly had a gut feeling that THIS IS GOING TO BE MY PS from the start. Always go with your gut. I came in and the girl at the desk was so nice, i filled out a few paperwork. He saw me within about 10 mins. He came in and greeted me. So warm and welcoming. I felt so comfortable. He took a look at my breast, mentioned my right boogie problem (nipple kinda of lower and boob is a lil smaller and droopy), he suggested a mastopexy and the incision thru the nipple so he can adjust the placement and make it more centered. He said with my body I can go anywhere from 325-400cc. I tried them on. I really think 350cc-375 cc for me. But its better to go with larger just so i dont regret it. I haven't made any final choices. What blew me away and what I love about Dr. Messa is he answered all my questions before i even could ask them! I kinda drew a blank and he seemed like he knew what i wanted to ask but forgot. He went into the procedure/ recovery/ when to wear a bra/ when to exercise/ how long to take off/ bottoming out/ rippling/ capsular contracture/ medical clearance/ pre op appt/ post op appt. I told him about my heart murmur. He said it shouldn't be an issue and is common. He said he feels like I'm a healthy 24 year old. Then i met with Maria the coordinator, she was helpful with the quote and more additional questions. Also, he carries ALL the brands of implants, sientra/ allergen/ mentor/ natrelle. And they don't have to be ordered, they said they have them in office since they are basically high volume and high demand, they always keep them stocked. Anyways... I have found my doctor. Only lil disappointment here is that i cant find many recent realself reviews on him, i dont get it cause he's freakin awesome! So I told them I wanted to think it over and talk to my fam and bf about it over the weekend before I decided to commit. But i spoke about open operation days, of course, the time I want it done, he's going to be busy or gone! :( He's out 2 weeks the end of April for some convention/conference or something. Regardless he's going to be out. Awww. They have early april, which i feel is still too soon- I need to do preop test, come back in 2 weeks for preop exam and pay it off. I feel like it's not good timing for me. So next available date is May 1st which is a thursday. I'm pretty much set on that. I'll call Monday to see if I can lock it. Still need my bf's approval because he has to take off of work to help me. I'm so freakin excited!!!!! All the stress and everything is easing up. The only stress now is do I want 350cc, 375 cc, 400cc. I dont want to get boob greed but I want to be happy and proportional. AHHHHH! I really liked the 325CC to be honest, started to feel like 375cc is too big and heavy but i see some girls that go bigger like 400cc-500cc and look awesome.

All the quotes for the BA were a lil more than I planned, i had no idea i had so many issues with my right breast that's going to cost me more. But i guess it's what i get for coming in to see a plastic surgeon that specializes in fixing what's wrong and making it as perfect as can be.

The journey begins! My family is so excited for me. They can't wait to see the final results. My sister, friends, bf were all texting and calling my thru out the day to see how it went. I went by myself to the consultation but i didn't feel alone. I'm so happy that I went to Target after and bought 2 more cute bikini tops. That's how excited I am! Thanks for your support ladies! I'm coming to BOOBIELAND soon!

Nudies of what I'm working with!

Here's some pics of what my poor situation is...

Pics!

Whoops forgot to add the pics.

More pics.

Ugh The post keeps updating and I'm not done. Lol

Okay… Excited but still confused with tons of questions!

So I really like Dr Messa… He is def my PS… however… the quote he gave me kinda got me puzzled. A lot of girls travel to South Florida to get their breast augmentations done because it's cheaper. I was quoted $6,000 from 3 different doctors. So i figure that's how much it cost, anesthesia is like $1300 so the actual surgery is $4700. Is that normal?… Some girls are paying $2800-5000… $1500 for surgery and $1300 for anesthesia. My budget originally was $5,000 now i'm going to have to pull another $1,000 our of my ass. I actually am wanting to pay in full…. so now this may have to delay my surgery date so i can save up a lil more. I'm wondering should I book a few more consultations? I though 3 top doctors would be good enough… crazy 3 different doctors quoted me around the same range $6,000-$6,1000…. Hmm…. I was ideally going to call to put the deposit down tmrw and lock in a date, now i'm not sure.

Also, I was suggested by 2 out of the 3 plastic surgeons that i should get a mastopexy to fix my right breast. It's droopy and the nipple is not centered so with the implant in, it will be very noticeably crooked compared to my left…. I remember dr mesa said that he will only be going thru my nipple, but taking a look at mastpopexy surgeries the scar is from the nipple to the crease. OMG I do NOT want that…. :( I have to clarify with the doctor and make sure…. I definitely want to prepare myself for what i'm getting myself into besides a breast augmentation. I feel like it's slightly lower and nipple is not centered… the more I look at it, it definitely bothers me. I feel like Dr Messa will know what is best and I trust him, but we need to be on the same page…. Take a look at the picture before. THIS IS NOT ME, but that is what a mastopexy surgery looks like…. :( It's an awful scaring, of course you don't see from the top of the breast, but naked… omg it's not appealing- plus i'm only 24, and have NO kids, yet my natural boobs are droopy and saggy. :(

Update!

Hello Lovely Ladies! I have been super busy since i got back from Miami. It was like a fun mini vacation for me. Spending time with family and also getting my consultations out of the way…. So anyways after days of thinking and calling back Dr. Messa's office with questions for the coordinator, I just got off the phone with my BF and we agreed and are going to lock in May 1st (7 weeks from tomorrow!!!!) I think it will be a good time for me. Ideally I am wanting mid- end April, but I can't complain, May 1st is good. I'll have all of May to recover and hope boobs will soften and drop so I'll be ready to show off those babies at the beach all summer… here in florida, it's already 80 degree! The beach water is still cold, but end of April/ early May it's perfect. I just don't want to wait too long and not have them for summer…

So anyways… I called the office and asked about the quote- At Dr. Messa's office, he does NOT break down the quote, it is all inclusive. There's no anesthesia price/ implant price. I was a lil taken back, I called to see if they could drop it…. i am an AWFUL negotiator. Lol Maria the office coordinator was firm in the quote. She said the breast augmentations are usually $5,500 and since I'm getting the mastopexy lift on my right boobie that's $500 extra bringing it to $6,000. I'm kinda wondering to see more doctors, but I think with Dr. Messa it will be worth it. It's not all about the price, it's about afterwards, how i look and feel and the process of getting it done. It just sucks cause i have a budget. i'm not a money tree. lol But i was researching mastopexy/ benelli lifts (same thing/ different name)…. I was horrified of the scar from the nipple to the crease. I learned it was called "LOLLIPOP incision" just like the shape of a lollipop. But when i asked Maria, she actually clarified that i will NOT be getting the lollipop incision, THANK GOD! I'm actually getting a "peri-areola incision" which basically is cutting around the whole nipple. The scaring won't be too bad especially when it will fade over time. I'm super excited now, time to lose that gut and extra weight. As of right now, reading everyone's stories, I'm set on Mentor- Silicone- Mod profile- 375ccs. Dr Messa said he will definitely help me achieve a natural full C/Small D look. Originally I wanted 300-325 cc, but i feel like just an lil extra won't hurt…. I think maybe 400 cc will be just too heavy on my chest. I went to VS the other day just to look, and the 32 D bras doesn't look big at all…. for some reasons me and my small boobies always imagine a size D as a HUGE GRANNY bra. Lol I guess it's because I don't have big boobs to pay attention to that size. Also, on a brighter note, my mom who is supportive but didn't think i'm actually going thru with it until she discovered I had already seen my PS, she is extremely supportive now. She even offered to drive me and take off of work to help me. That made me feel so much better…. however i feel like it's my BF's place to care for me since he is like my other half. I've been with him for 4 years, we're basically an old married couple without the title. Lol He's been there for me thru everything, holding my hair when i'm throwing up, cleaning my vomit, taking care of me when i'm at my worst, so this should be a common thing for him. Lol I love him to death! I'm excited now for boobies! :)

Late night thought and research!

AHHH… I was really set on 375cc silicone mentor mod +. Now reading how everyone experience boob greed, maybe 400cc would be good for me… I'm reading that 25cc is not much of a huge difference. I honestly don't want to be too heavy in the boobs, but at the same time i don't want boob greed wishing i went bigger. :( My PS suggested anywhere from 325-400cc…. well… i'm just so indecisive. :( I was set kind of on 350cc before so i bumped it to 375cc, now i'm kinda wondering about 400cc. Lol

Sizing settled!

Okay after a few days thinking I've come to a compromise.... Most likely I'll be settling on 375 for my left boob and 400 on my right since dr messa said its slightly droopier and smaller in size. That's the one that will have the mastopexy. He did mention we may have to try a different size on each side. Which is fine, I can both get 400 and 375cc. Lol now it's all about getting my blood work done and setting up my pre op appointment. 7 weeks and 3 days until MAY 1st! :)

I showed my bf what my chest looked like in a bandeau bikini top n told him its so flat and he was like now I know why u want one, it will make u happier and more comfortable in your skin! Glad everyone is finally coming around and understanding why I really want this. I'm not trying to attract men, I'm not trying to look fake, not trying to get attention... I want this so I'm happier with myself and comfortable with myself. I'll admit I am insecure about that part of my body and I will be happier to just be confident and sexy in my own conservative way. I'm not a flashy kinda girl. I'm really down to earth and humble and keep to myself. I hate how ppl think I'm getting this for the wrong reasons and preach that "you should be happy with what god gave you...." kinda BS. Lol well god created plastic surgeons so they are here to fix things I can't fix. Lol that is all!

Kill me... Not really!

Ugh! So let me tell you guys how my body has been acting so damn crazy! I've started my period... AGAIN!!!!! Wth! Having it twice in one month is not normal for me! Does anyone have that? I went to the general doc to get examined. They ran some test. I'm not sure if its from stress and suffering from anxiety. I'm super nervous. I feel like something is wrong with me. Please let the results come back normal so I can move on and be happy n excited for this surgery! I don't want anything in the way of me getting it. :(

Yay! Update! Thank you God for blessing me.

SURGERY DATE IS OFFICIALLY BOOKED!

I know i said i had already picked my date, but i hadn't put down the deposit. Well today i decide it is definitely time to commit and lock in the date. I call Maria the surgery coordinator…. She tells me Dr. Messa is booked up until May 29th. OMG…. are you effing kidding me?…. I knew he was popular but damn, they weren't joking when they said that he books up quickly. I just saw him less than 2 weeks ago and she told me she had a few days in April and May 1st available. I had chosen May 1st the whole time and wanted to confirm with my BF so he can take off of work to come with me. It ends up working out perfectly for May 1st because his work partner needs off that weekend too because he has to watch his kids while his wife is out of town for a bachelorette cruise. It would of been perfect, I literally wanted to cry when she said it was booked until end of May. I was like ohhhh noooo, is there anything sooner?…. I honestly do not want to spend all of June recovering. I want to recover in May so June I can be enjoying my bikini and the sun. Anyways…. Maria got a call in and had to call me back. I was really bummed. However, when she called me back… She told me she could get me in on Friday MAY 2nd!!!!!!! Which is perfect! Dr Messa usually doesn't have surgery on Fridays, but he is taking me first thing in the morning. Is that not the most sweetest plastic surgeon ever? I feel like my journey with this has come so far, but yet hasn't even started. I've been lucky from the consultations to picking my perfect surgeon to scheduling my date. So May 2nd! 6 weeks from this friday! My pre op appointment is set for Monday April 14th, where i have to pay in full and i'll do blood test and settle on size, all that good stuff.

As mentioned before in my post yesterday I have gotten my period again this month when i had ended just a lil over a week ago. I am probably experiencing HUGE stress and anxiety. And with life in the way I just have to continue and push forward. My bf is amazing and so sweet he surprised me and sent me a HUGE arrangement of Pink Roses to my work! My favorite! If you know my bf, he's not big on being romantic or thoughtful at all. He's more like the guy to be there for you when you need him and take care of things when you need it taken care of. Everyone was paying me attention because how could you miss this huge bouquet? Lol I am not usually the type to be the center of attention so it was a lil awkward for me. I literally feel like i'm floating on cloud 9 today. I booked my surgery and my bf has made my day/ week/ month/ year. He texted me and let me know he wants to always be there for me and will take care of me when i need him. I feel so blessed and lucky that this journey has taught me a lot of things about myself. it makes it easier with my support system behind me. I couldn't imagine doing this alone. :)

Boobie Nightmares!

Hey Ladies, soooo update. I've been still feeling a lil weird but slowly becoming back to my normal self. I'm off my 2nd period. Hopefully I am okay and it was just stress related. Anyways I've been suffering from allergies the last week. Here in Florida once spring hits, the pollen is worst than ever. My car is literally covered in yellow pollen dust. I ended up with a lil bit of an allergy congestion. Every time I sneeze or cough my head kind of hurts. I've been extremely exhausted and been sleeping a lot. I feel a lot better today and able to function a lil more. Well last night, i had an intense dream/ nightmare that i got my boobs in! The surgery was a breeze, the pain was tolerable, but the worst part was that the doctor did not listen to what i wanted and did the surgery thru the armpits and i got small implants!!! That is a total BA patient's nightmare! In my dream i woke up from my surgery and was so soooo mad and upset that it wasn't what i wanted at all. OMG thank god i woke up and felt my breast, and they were the same. Lol Idk what that means, hopefully my surgery will go good and my doctor will listen to me. Lol

My prep is April 14th. 3 weeks and 3 days from now. :) My surgery is 6 weeks from yesterday. I feel like it's going to fly by quick!

Anyways here is a pic of a peri- areola incision to fix my right boob. It's very minor.

Surgical bra! Help.

So unfortunately my PS doesn't provide a surgical bra…. I don't even know what size or what brand to get. :( I am a 32" band now…. i assume i should get a bigger size due to the swelling and of course the obvious…. bigger boobs. Lol. I'm guessing maybe a 38"…. is that too big?… Maybe 36 would do…. I've been searching on amazon. Any suggestions would help. :)

Excited! Every day passes by, one day closer….

So there hasn't been one day in the past 2 months i haven't looked at boobs!!!! I've become obsessed! Lol I am ready to get this done and over with… I got less than 6 weeks. This coming friday will be only 5 weeks. AHHHH Soooo nervous! All i got to do is keep myself healthy! But there's so many things to look forward to 1. I can't wait to go bra shopping! 2. I can't wait to see the final results after d&f. 3. VS's semi annual sale is usually in July (my surgery will be May 2nd so i think that they will be almost ready for underwire bras, by that time i will be about 2 months post) 4). I live close to the VS outlet store…. ITS FREAKIN HUGE! Bras of all sorts galore are only like $20 or less. I love shopping and it's a boob's dreamland! UGHHHH I can't wait! :)

Ready to be sexy! I'm not one of those girls who is ashamed of having small boobs and wanting to change it by getting a BA, i think everyone in my whole family and even at my work knows i'm doing this! I told my manager i needed off for the consultation and for the surgery. She was supportive. Even all my guy friends know and keep asking me if i'm excited?…. I have a friend that is constantly reminding me i'm one day closer. This isn't a secret, I don't care, i will embrace this journey! If anyone says anything about me having "fake tits" i'll be like "YEA SO WHAT?…. YOUR POINT IS????" …. Hahaha Beautiful boobies and proud.

Sometimes my fears/ anxiety/ stress get the best of me as you can see in my previous post. I'm anxious… seeing some post op it makes me scared. I can only pray mine will come out and i'll be super happy. I hope mine just look round and fuller. I'm scared of the "BOXY look" or too high up to the collar bone, I'm hoping mine will look like those results, where they are just swollen. I can see why girls hate them at first because they are so ugly when you first get them in. Ahhhh…. Let's do this! :)

BTW my loving boyfriend is just the funniest supportive guy ever! As i type this he is glue to the TV watching Monster's Inc…. hahahah he'll be 28 years old this year and he's still a kid. Oh I love him so much. LOL

OH FORGOT TO ADD….

So i forgot to add….

After my boobs settle and look phenomenal… I was kinda thinking of doing like a boudoir/ lingerie shoot. I saw it on another fellow real selfer's post and it looked awesome. Do you guys think that is a good idea?… I could like put something together for my BF… I've never been the girl to be super sexy, I don't even think anyone has ever called me "sexy"…. I'm always "pretty/cute" I think it's because i'm so small 4"11 and my face looks young- ppl always ask what high school i go to or if i'm old enough to work yet. :( It's annoying but i guess it's a compliment. It's just out of my element to do a photoshoot- I'm not even that photogenic…. Lol I guess i look decent with makeup on. It's going to be so awkward being half naked infront of photographer especially since i'm never naked in front of anyone….But i think it would be a good experience and having something to look back on when i'm older and say "damn I was hot"... Lol

UPDATE!

Hey Ladies, I haven't updated in a few days… so much has been going on with life. Work, my dogs, social life, love life… you know just life. Well I end up getting sick, better now than around my surgery date i guess. But anyways…. I have really bad allergies making me feel all congested and sneezing nonstop and i sound stuffed up. And my job is well, a stressful one because my company constantly micro manages you everyday and watched your daily performance like a hawk…. i work an office job and sit at my desk pretty much 10 hrs a day. So lately for the last couple weeks, i notice myself having the urge to go pee, but sometimes i hold it off for a few hrs and just sit there and work and work until i can't hold it anymore. Well not knowing that doing that can cause a damn UTI! So since the weekend I was kinda having a hard time peeing, like I felt like i had to and when i tried it would take at least 2-3 mins. Anyways… I kinda figured it had to be something not right. I thought it would go away and waited like 5 days and told my best friend and she said it's totally a UTI. So i went to the clinic did my urine test and surely enough... my first UTI. The experience is not fun, hope i never have one again. Supposedly it happens from a lot of things… anytime bacteria enters your urinary tract… The nurse told me it could be caused by not peeing after sex, not peeing enough, holding it for too long, not cleaning down there on a regular, bubble baths…. just about anything. Anyways I'm on antibiotics for 5 days and then I started coughing and suffering from a pounding head ache. UGH.

On a brighter note, my surgery is 5 FREAKING WEEKS from today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe that. I know 5 weeks may seem super long to some people, but since I started seriously considering having a BA since end of January, i feel that 5 weeks is so short! I have so much to do, so much to buy before hand. UGH. The time is going to fly by. I already put my request to take off of work. I will be out for 5 days for recovery starting Friday May 2nd-6th, hope that will enough, then I'm able to work from home 2 days so basically 2 extra days to recover May 7-8, my job is done over the phone and laptop. Then i'll be coming in to work that Friday and i'll be back off 2 more days for the weekend… so i don't think it will be that bad at all. I feel that once you get your BA, time flies. I'm excited and everyone knows how excited I am… I feel like i'm going to change into a new woman. I'll be so much confident and happy with myself. :)

Almost 4 weeks. 2 weeks until pre op!

Each day that passes is one day closer! So I'm on my antibiotics for my stupid UTI! Last dosage is today. I'm feeling a lot better.... I can almost pee regularly again. U never appreciate the lil things until they are taken away. Lol I am almost definitely I got it because I hold my pee for hours when I initially have to go at my work. It's just annoying getting up from my desk every 30 mins to an hr. usually I wait like 3+hrs before I go. I guess that messed with my bladder. Lesson learned. Anyways!!!!! On to the more important stuff!!!! It's starting to get real! I am less than 5 weeks from my BA. Technically 4 weeks and 4 days! Lol my pre op is 2 weeks from tmrw. I think once I go to the pre op it's really going to kick in! But in the mean time I've been shopping for cute tops. I'm addicted to bralettes. Once I usually like something I buy a million of them. Lol funny I went to VS to buy the $10 bralettes and I work a Small in the racer back ones and on the spaghetti strap I just got a medium. Small was a lol tight n I donno how tighter they will be with new boobs! Anyways, I got 3 secret cards to use.... I hope I get like $100! Lol that would be awesome. I think each card is $10 at lowest so ill take $30 off my purchase. Just sucks I can't buy bras right now. I can honestly say from the girls my size and the implant size looks like most ppl end up being 34C/32D/32DD. I think my band around my waist is so small so I'll still be 32. Cup size can be tricky since u donno what they will turn out to be when they d&f. Well I'll keep every one updated on anything that happens next. Can they just do this damn surgery so I can recover already? Lol so impatient!

4 weeks counting down!

So here are some UGLY pre op pics of me now.... Omg never thought the symmetry would be a big deal but taking a look at it after the docs pointed it out, it's pretty severe! Oh geez. I can't wait and am anxious! I def am getting one implant bigger than the other that way they are the same size for once. :) pre op in appt in less than 2 weeks! Tho it's a month away from today the actual surgery, I feel like I'm no where near prepared. I guess u could never be prepared for something like this until it actually happens.

Shopping!!!!!! VS OUTLET!

So today I went to the vs outlet with my bf... So happy we live so close. Same VS stuff that u can find in the regular store but juat a ton more variety for a lot cheaper. Omg this is going to be my new favorite store when I get some new boobies! They have everything n plenty of it!!! All very cheap too. Usually I'll go and buy like PINK stuff when I go but now I'll have boobs I actually can shop thru the bras! They had sooo many cute ones but I refrained from buying because I dunno what my size will be until after surgery and at the outlet all sales are final. Bummer. But I figure it will all be there after my surgery so no rush. I got some cute stuff tho. They have a huge selection of bathing suits for like $8-12. Panties for $1.99 and bralettes for $3.99. Can't beat that. I got a few stuff. My total was like $40. Bras range from $12.99-19.99 all different kinds of VS. But only bad part is you have to DIG! Lol which I don't mind.... That's just shopping to me. They had so many cute lingeries for $14.99. I found a few and was back n forth between small and medium but I figure I'd wait on that.

I also went to Marshall's just to browse and I found a super comfy jockey racer back sports bra. I got a medium. I wore my bombshell today like everyday n tried the sports bra on top and BAM!!!! Love the look! Hoping with my new boobs it will look like that! :) excited! 4 weeks from now I will have some new assets. Lol

Hahaha

Can someone tell me where my boobs went? I feel so incomplete without my bombshell bra. Lol omg this is me with just the sports bra I bought yesterday without a bombshell underneath it! My boobs disappeared! Huge difference lol

Bad tan lines!!!!!

Hahaha just wanted to share. I've been laying out and getting some sun lately since the weather here in Florida has been pretty much 85 degrees. Basically it's summer for us. But I guess I made the mistake of wearing a bandeau top now I have these awful tan lines. Even on my BUTT! Lol when I wear a thong it looks ridiculous! I just thought its funny... Hahaha I hope my bf doesn't mind. For the first time I showed him a pic of my boobs n how uneven they are and he was like why is your nipple so big and brown?!? Omg I was mortified!!!!!! Lol that's why I don't let anyone see me naked! I'm just so embarrassed. :( anyways! Pre op is a week from tmrw!!!!!! Ahhhh it's coming up fast! I can remember like yesterday when I was just researching and setting up my consultations. Now time is ticking away. I honestly hope recovery will be this quick lol

Ladies… It's kicking in!!!!

So i was just thinking… and I am 1 week from pre op appt and just a tad more than 3 weeks away from my BA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This friday will mark 3 weeks! Honestly time is flying… I remember seriously considering a BA in January where I actually acted on it! And setting my consultations in February. I've been having this thought in my head since i was 18 and seeing all the girls around me change and I stay the same, the thought came and went…. now I'll be 25 this summer. I think it's time me as the "caterpillar" i am ready to bloom into a beautiful butterfly. I def think it will boost my confidence. I'm always known as the shy, quiet reserve girl to everyone… I feel underestimated all the time. At my job, I was in a 2 week training program with 25 trainees. I was the most quiet and never participated. My trainers thought I wouldn't do too well in the line of business i'm in, but I became one of the top performers and have won 6 awards for my performance in the last year. I've always been basically invisible when i was younger. I find it funny, once i matured in my looks changed then some ppl started facing my way. Lol Just shows how shallow people are. Ppl from my middle school and high school have started hitting me up on Facebook but when we were actually in school together, rarely spoke to me. HAH. This BA is personally for me but also of course for my bf, hopefully it will boost our sex life… we haven't been real active just because i'm so ashamed of my body. Poor him, he puts up with me and still loves me. Lol I feel like this BA is also like revenge to everyone who never even gave me a 2nd look or time of day. Now it's like hahaha can't have me now!!! When I was younger, I had friends and all but i was never the center of attention or popular in school, just when I hit my 20s i began to step out my shell. I started finding myself and still finding myself. It's about growing up slowly. Now ppl can start seeing me as a woman and not as a girl. :) Thank you for all your support!

So late night thought…. :)

So Lovely Ladies, i called the office today to see where i should get the surgical bra… I was mistaken, my office does provide it BUT not included in my surgery quote. It's like $38 that I pay at pre op with my balance and they hold it for you until your surgery that way you don't forget. I asked if I could retry on some sizes to make sure for sure which size i want. I am set on 375/400 mod plus mentor. I feel like I want the roundness but don't need projected too much since I have a good amount of breast tissue that will be over it along with the muscle. What I'm most afraid about is the incision thru my nipples. AHHHH! That is like my super sensitive spot, to imagine my PS cutting it to insert the implant gives me chills. I will be getting all my prescriptions and everything… I'm afraid of getting cold feet. Can anyone please slap me or knock some sense into me now?! I feel like I'm so ready BUT NOT ready for this…. what if I just call off the whole thing?…. I just need to grow some balls and do it, i'm already committed and put down the deposit and have my money all ready… I'm looking at the big picture, i'll be so much more happy.

So just to throw it out there, I was having a late night thought that I wanted to share with anyone who cares. It's personal and off topic to boobies. So me and my BF have been together for 4 years, of course it's not easy. We have some moments we were on the rocks and ended up taking a break for a few months. 4 years def takes a toll on the relationship and each other because you are changing and growing into who you want to be. Well in the mean time on our break, I had met another guy, I wouldn't say I dated him because he knew I just got out of a long relationship. But we bonded instantly and there was a lot of chemistry. Wasn't a typical guy you meet and just have to act all shy and pretty around. We clicked because we were so down to earth. But long story short, he had hurt me with his bad habits- trust was a big thing for me, and no matter what, from what I saw I couldn't trust him. We argued a lot too because of it…. I remember one time we went out to eat and we sat at the bar, he was on his phone texting another female right next to me, I clearly could see her picture, how disrespected I feel. He always kept like 5 females on the back burner for back ups and I wasn't with that. Well I had enough and we eventually stopped talking for a while and one day he hit me back up… he ended up getting in a relationship with this GORGEOUS girl, she is the type always doing photo shoots and she worked as like a bottle girl at some night club. You can imagine, perfect, pretty face, banging body (fake tho from the ass to boobs but I don't have much room to speak because I will join the boobs club in 3 weeks LOL). Well they broke up after a few months… he came running back. He said she wasn't all that, just a pretty face, but no good conversation and nothing new to bring to the table. Well seeing her and what she looked like, omg she was sooo pretty. It kinda made me feel worthless… I felt like I wasn't good enough even tho i felt like my personality is a killer and I'm like the most laid back chick ever. I just felt more insecure about myself, i was questioning myself, like what is wrong with me? My body, my face, my looks…. what was it?…. I didn't feel pretty or beautiful at all, like i said in my last post, i'm pretty much invisible to most ppl… well looking back, I just wanted to share with everyone, my lesson learned the hard way: Don't ever let a man or another person/ friend/ family make you feel like your WORTHLESS. We're all worth something, tho we may not be the prettiest or have the perfect smile, I know for damn sure, everyone deserves to be happy and respected. I just thought how I was in such a negative place in my life feeling depressed and down because I felt like I wasn't good enough with my looks… I snapped out of it once i realize i deserve better.

Of course i'm not getting boobs because of that a** hole, I wanted them before I met him. Just never had it done when I knew him, now guess my bf will enjoy them all to himself, he deserves it for putting up with me. Lol Well i'm completely done with the other guy, eventually me and my bf got back together and been happy since… he treats me with respect and the way i should be treated. Each one of us deserves respect. There is always someone whether it's a companion or even family that will show you your worth. I know this site is mainly about females a bit insecure about parts of their body they wish to change, well go on then, do what you gotta do to be happy! You deserve it! We deserve it! :) honestly without all you ladies positive comments and post, i'd probably wouldn't be doing a BA, the thought would still be roaming around in my mind instead of actually counting down the days until my BA. Lol THANKS for the support!

Only 3 more weeks!!!!

Here are some more pre op pics in a XS bikini top! I can't wait to fill it out and have some nice tatas! Sooooo close yet so far away. Heading back to Miami this Sunday for my pre op appointment on Monday morning! :)

I can't stop laughing! I made it worse!

Hahhaha omg! So my bad tan lines from my bandeau... I decided to get rid of it and try to tan the middle that way it doesn't look like a rectangle square of white on my boobs... So I wore a triangle top to the pool... Big mistake. I made me tan lines even worse! Hahaha my tan is so uneven now! And the worst part when I called the PS they said at my pre op tmrw I will be having my before pictures taken! Oh great! My boobs are discolored. I'm going to be so embarrassed tomorrow when my plastic surgeon is like what the heck happened! Lol here are some pics. Also including some pictures of me in regular day clothing with my of course, bombshell miracle bra I can't live without! Soon enough I will know what it's like to wear a regular non padded bra! You can see how much more round n full they are in a loose top. I sooo cannot wait to have some nice tatas! Blood work and finalizing sizes tmrw at my pre op and getting my prescriptions. Waiting until my sister gets off work to head down to Miami. :) wish me luck ladies! It's happening....

Pre Op DONE. What a nightmare.

Hey ladies, just wanted to let you guys know how the pre op went!

First off.. I still love my doctor regardless of what i went thru. Lol well I was rushing my head off the whole day because I had to rush to the bank to deposit the last of my balance to make the final payment when i go into the pre op appt. I had to work as well. So I woke up and worked for 2 hrs, rushed out the door and went to the bank- there was like 6 ppl in front of me. Ugh what luck. I was freakin out because i had to rush to the other side of town in like 20 mins and my GPS said it would take 25 mins. Luckily I made it, only 3 mins late. They had me wait maybe a few mins before taking me back- had me fill out a lot of paper work. The the nurse came in and took my pictures, run over the procedure/size/medication/ prepping me before before hand. What foods to avoid. Showering and all that good stuff…. THEN it came to the anticipated blood test! I HATE needles and blood. Ugh i get so queazy when it comes to that. My worst fear was that she would have to poke me multiple times to get the blood… well my fear became reality. She poked my right arm and not enough blood came out. She had to poke me again. Missed the vein. Then poked me again and had to wiggle the needle once it was inside me. STILL NOTHING! UGHHH OWWWW! I'm such a baby. She was like i give up and we need to do the other arm. Finally she got it on the 4th try! She got the blood she needed. OWWW. Now my arm is bruised up. Ugh i hate giving blood. But anyways I got all the prescriptions and i even bought the special soap to use before surgery and I also bought anti bruising pills because i know i bruise so easily i don't want to come out with black and blue boobs. Lol Anyways Im glad i drove back to miami for the prep, so informative and helpful in preparing. They said since i'm from out of town i could just do the blood work at a clinic/lab/doc office. But i wanted to know what i needed to do in detail and have my questions all answered. So to go into the procedure…. They will call me thursday and let me know the time to be in on Friday May 2nd the day of my surgery. It should be anywhere from 7am-noon. Then saturday I have to go back in because they are sending me in bandage wraps not a surgical bra. When i come in saturday, I will get the bra and have the bandage taken off. Saturday the office is closed, but the told me someone will be at the office for sure. WHICH I LOVE. Someone is going out of their way on the weekend for me. Aww. Probably not just me, but anyone who has surgery on Fridays because Dr Messa usually does not do procedures on friday. He was nice to pencil me in or i'd have to wait until end of May/june when his next opening is. Then i'll come back on Monday and see him before i go back home.

He told me to find a bunch of pics of the look I want…. I'm scared/excited/nervous…. hoping not to get cold feet and call off the whole thing. AHHHH! Paid in full and counting down. Now it's time for me to get my list together of things i need to prepare myself. :) Any suggestions of things i need, let me know….

The look I'm going for! Wish pics!

Here are some pics of the type of boobies I want. I like them round/ full and natural slope and sag. I don't need them super perky or round at the top. If I want that look I will just wear different kinds of bras to give it the extra "umph." These wish pics are from different real selfers profiles, hope you don't mind if u see ur pics on here! It's a compliment! :) Let me know what u guys think.

I feel nervous and anxiety!

Hey ladies, I know my post are so annoying because I write about basically nothing lol but I feel so at ease when I write it out.... I'm hoping that my journey can benefit any girls/women/ ladies with their own BA. I know by reading many other ladies post it has helped me significantly. I have a small handful of girls I know in my life that have had a BA. None of them talk about it openly tho. So it's great it have this site so we can all be open about our experience and journey together. Some ppl are still not understanding why I'm doing to this. A lot of ppl's reaction is "I still can't believe your going thru with this"... Well believe it! I'm not letting everyone's negative opinion affect me anymore. I had a meeting with my manager today n she suggested that I can stay home the whole week after surgery to recover. Since my surgery is Friday I have the weekend n Monday and Tuesday to recover. That will be 5 days. Then Wednesday-Friday I will be working but I'm able to work from home. The joy of my job. All I need is my laptop and internet. Then I'll have Saturday- Sunday to relax n recover more. So it's a total of about 10 days from May 2nd-12th that I won't be in the office so it should give enough time to get back to normal. It's going to feel like I'm going to be a new woman! Im getting my hair done this weekend too, more blonde. :) summer hair. Yay!

So of course I decided the perfect timing to work out again is 2 weeks before surgery. lol i make no sense sometimes. I still feel a bit chunky. I wanna keep my shape but without the fat. I wish I had like killer abs n a nice junk. lol I have all this flab and rolls n muffin tops over my pants. Ugh. Lol They told me so not work out my arms from now until surgery I guess that way my muscles are normal n not sore or torn. I have to stop working out all together 2 days before surgery. I'm so anxious. I dropped off my prescriptions today too. I'll get them tomorrow after work. It's coming together! 15 days!!!!!!!!! Ahh!

So if anyone is curious, I just wanted to share my nationality.... I'm 100% ASIAN. An Asian female natural figure is very petite and flat. So my figure is a lil different from the average Asian female. I guess I'm a lil lucky. Usually they are all small and flat front to back n super skinny. Some reason I didn't end up u like the stereotype. I have curves and meat on my bones n chubby thighs. Lol I am still short tho explains 4"11. lol but it's probably because I was born in America. I eat different than I would if I was born in Asia. I get asked if I'm mixed with Spanish/white all the time. Lol

2 weeks! Am I ready or not?!! Getting cold feet?

So i'm exactly 2 weeks from my BA. AHHHH. I can't believe it, time flies and i hope it flies by for the recovery period. Im scaring myself reading all these post about getting sick and in pain… I know to expect soreness and tightness the first week or so. Some ladies are back to normal within a few days and can function, others take longer. I see some say that they can shower themselves after the surgery, others can't even hold fork. I wonder what I'm going to be like. Hmmm…. Anyways… I'm preparing the best I can. Trying to stay relax and taking care of my body. I started taking the vitamin C/ multivitamin. I have to stay committed and take it every day until my BA. I kind of been stressing about getting cold feet… and just calling and canceling the whole thing…. I'd lose my deposit but i'd get back a majority of it, unless i cancel the day before, then its nonrefundable. But then I think again how badly i've been wanting this and how happy i will be afterwards. Beauty is pain right???? I already paid my balance in full. I feel like if i flake out and cancel i'm going to end up regretting not going thru with it.

Anyways…. I went to walmart and bought all the stuff i need and picked up my prescriptions. I need ice packs and I'm going to buy tons of gatorade. Here are some pics again…. nothing exciting, just posting of the "IDEAL LOOK" that i want. i hope Dr Messa will understand what i want. ALL implants are beautiful from low profile to ultra high profile. However, everyone has their own opinion about what type of look and implant they want. Personal for me, I love the round natural look but not at the top of breast. I rather have them more round than projected. I DO NOT mean to offend anyone who has this look. This is just me and how i would like mine. Some girls like the really fake look, others like natural, and others like it where it's not even noticeable. Anyways… as mention, probably like many of us wear bombshell that add 2 cup size, i wear mine EVERYDAY I cannot live without it and that is the look i want, but i want them to be my own and not the bra. :) I have friends and coworkers that are excited to see them afterwards and i told them, it probably won't be a difference because it will be the same size I am not, i just can wear a regular nonpadded bra and not a bombshell. :)

Oh yea, I also wanted to say… I think i'm about to get my period. WHICH I HOPE SO. i do not want to get it on my BA or in recovery. Lol I started breaking out a lil and my TITS GOT NATURALLY BIGGER. I think my boobs know and sense something like in their near future there are going to be some BIG changes. Lol They usually get sore, but this time it's not. But i notice they are like more round n a tad swollen so i figure its almost that time of the month- i hope i get it soon or next week and not the week after. I'll also post some pics of the look that i DO NOT want…. Again, i'm not trying to offend anyone and i love the UHP look on some girls but it's not for me. My preference. :) some wish pics from fellow real self members!

The look I DO NOT want!!!!

Hey guys these are some implants I hope and pray not to look like!!!!! God I'm praying and praying! U just donno until u come out on the other side. lol please do not be offended if you like this look. This isn't for me.

Getting anxious! Help ladies!

So I can finally say….. "MY BA SURGERY IS NEXT FREAKIN WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wow! Can you believe it?… Time never stops thats for sure… Next Friday I will be a new woman! I also got my hair done too this past weekend. It's super blonde, I usually have like dark with blonde highlights but i feel like for me to be a new woman, I kinda wanted to change up my look for a "new me!" It kind of bothered me today, i went into work today and someone came up to me and said did i dye my hair because of my boobs???… and he said it looked like i'm going for the "SOUTH BEACH" look…. which i am not. I am conservative, i wear typical florida attire- shorts/tank tops year round. And at work i dress professional. I hate how ppl these boobs are changing me as a person. NO! it's boosting my own confidence so i'm happy with myself. I am not doing this for anyone but me. I'm not trying to be someone i'm not. This will not change my personality. If anything, it will make me a happier person.

Anyways…. this weekend i need to get my house all cleaned- tho i won't be staying here. But when i come back from miami i want to come home to a clean home. I also need to get any last min things for post op. Trying my hardest to calm down and relax. I think once next week hits, i'm going to be super anxious and nervous and stressed. I just want to fast forward.

Also, In my last post, i mention my boobs getting sore and big- period is coming. better happen this week!!! I refuse to have mother nature give me my period when i'm having surgery or in recovery! UGH. I feel minor cramps now and i can't take any midol or anything right now, only tylenol.

Please let me know if I'm missing anything on my list:
Post op bra
1 cotton front clasp bra/ 1 front zip bra
fiber pills
Prescriptions
neck pillow
gatorade/ gingerale/ lots of water
soup/ crackers
cocoa butter lotion
dry shampoo
zantac (doc recommend to take it the night before for acid)
vitamin C/ multivitamin
Tylenol Extra strength
Ice packs

I'm not sure about scar cream yet- since i'll be seeing my the day after surgery and the following monday (i'll be 3 days post op) I figure i'll ask him then. I'll keep everyone posted.

Counting down!

So just wanted to add some pics of the volume that I have now. I feel like my boobs are a bit swollen so they are bigger than they usually are. But I def have a a good handful of breast tissue so now I'm indecisive of the size- 350/375 or 375/400. It's so nerve wrecking that you want to wake up looking like what you expected.

Forgot To add!!!!!

I wanted to post pics of a full areola donut lift mastopexy which is the surgery I'm getting on my right side along with my BA. LabellaNewBoobs brought something to my attention. My natural beast shape are tuberous and pointed and she mentioned that having implants will just enhance what you have. I'm hoping for a more round n fuller look than just enlarge pointed boobs because then I'll still be self conscious to be braless. My bombshell is like my security blanket. Lol these pic are very close to what I am now pre op so hopefully I'll have the round look post op. :)

Numbers!!!!!!!!!! 375/350 or 400/375cc?????????

So i'm kinda thinking about going back with 375/350cc now. :( Scared that 400/375cc may just make too top heavy. BUT i keep thinking that 25cc won't make a difference, i read it's equivalent about 2 tablespoons… There's nothing worst than waking up and being disappointed that you see them and they aren't as big as you wished. But at the same time in the long run, bigger- more likely to stretch marks, more sagging, more complications. UGH who knows. I have a good amount of tissue right now so i keep comparing myself to girls who either didn't have much before getting a BA. It's the wrong thing to do. I'm just hoping me and my doc can connect and he can invasion what I'm expecting. A lot of his work looks very natural, so I'm not in question about that, I'm in question about how BIG of a natural look i'm going for.

I'm 1 week pre op. Next Friday i will be a new woman! I'm so ready to get this over with! i'm tired of talking about it, i just want to get it done and start recovering and experience all the changes! I'm thinking my pain tolerance is kinda up there, but i've never been put in a lot of pain before for an extensive period of time. I only had like piercings/ no tattoos/ car accidents/ tooth pulled… those are the only pain i can think of that i've experience. All i gotta focus on is having a strong mind set to make it thru. I'm hoping it will be a breeze, but knowing my drama queen self i will feel like death. lol

So plan is my bf will come with me to Miami after work thursday. We should be arriving late since both work until 5pm. May make it there around midnight, and have maybe 6 hrs of sleep if we're lucky. I won't know the exact time of surgery until my doc calls the day before. I guess it's because they wanna see if there will be any cancelations and all that. But i know it's anywhere from 7am-Noon. I'm actually pretty calm right now about it, and i hope i stay this way for the next week, but i think once monday hits i will be suffering from more anxiety. :( i just know myself. HELP LADIES! I think i pretty got much all the essentials i need- i'm going to stock up a lil more on gatorade/ ginger ale and soup- but worst comes to worst my bf or family can run out to get the stuff i need when I'm there. I'm a side sleeper so I'm def not looking forward to sleeping on my back at an angle- basically in a sit up position. Wish me luck. Still no period too- but it will be coming hopefully next day or so- mother nature is killing me with these pre pms cramps. Lol I get short periods but painful ones- last about 4 days so better be here in the next day or so so that way it's over in time for surgery.

5 days my ladies!!!!

So my period is here!!!!! YAY never been so happy to get my monthly cycle! Hahaha. I've been feeling pre-pms cramps and minor head aches and breaking out which are usual signs that my period is approaching. I was hoping not to have it anywhere near my surgery which is on FRIDAY! Did i just really say that?!?! FRIDAY!

Anyways usually my periods are AWFUL- heavy cramping and painful but short lived- it should be bye bye by tuesday and wednesday the latest. I usually take midol or pamprin but my doc said that thins out my blood so no. Isn't it so crazy how hormones change your body like crazy? Look how big my boobies got… They swell up. I'm posting a pic of me with my least padded bra 34A from VS- it's still very padded but not as padded as a bombshell bra since that's like double padded. But my boobs look great… sad that they will shrink in a few days when my period is gone. Sometimes i look at them and i'm like "NO BACK OUT NOW, MY BOOBS ARE FINE AND BIGGER THAN SOME GIRLS SO BE HAPPY!" But then… I look at myself in a bathing suit or braless and i'm like "I WANT TO DO THIS!" hahaha I'm playing with my own head.

Im enjoying my last free mobile weekend and relaxing- next weekend i will be immobile and a NEW WOMAN! So i went and laid out today by the pool to get some more color- here in Florida it is HOT- today was like 88 degrees. Felt amazing out. BUT… i realize when i was at the pool, i'm fine laying out and in the water, but i'm not comfortable walking around- i really don't want people seeing my body. I'm still very self conscious and insecure of my boobs, my legs, and stomach. I know some may think i'm crazy and weird, but i just see myself different. Very chunky and sometimes i even think my body proportion is DEFORMED. My upper half looks like it doesn't belong with my lower half. Until about 6 months ago, i was actually starting to accept my body. No one has ever made me feel very comfortable in my own body where i had the confidence to walk around the house naked or wear certain clothing. Not my bf, not my family. I always hear "Your nipples are too big…. you have cellulite… your thighs are huge…. you have manly arms…. back fat…. love handles… muffin tops…" All this has haunt me. I always feel like everyone is judging me when they look at my body. So i was in the pool today and I waited like 30 mins before getting out because i didn't want anyone to look at me. I kept looking around to see if everyone was busy before i got up and speed walk over to my towel. I'm weird i know. :( Anyways… can't wait for this… Ready to have some chest curves to add to my body. I'm trying to be as relax as possible and do some last min shopping for things i need. Picking out my clothes and starting to pack. I work Mon- Thurs and thursday i'm getting out early. I still haven't figured out size yet… i think the more i am fixated on it, it makes me stress out. So anyways- whatever the doc picks I will be happy with. I'm just scared for the pain and scared to wake up and see something i don't want to see. Anyways…. I will post any changes closer to my surgery. 5 DAYS! Thank you everyone for being so supportive thru out my crazy journey, getting so close.

Painful cramps :(

So I end up breaking down and take Tylenol. I was trying so hard to be drug free for the remainder of my pre op. I'm not able to take midol or pamprin for my period and as mention my periods are very painful! To the point where I vomit and have unbearable cramps. Usually occurs within the first 24 of starting my period then after that it's a breeze. Well tonight I have very bad cramps n I was so uncomfortable n started crying to my bf. he gave me 2 Tylenol and I fell asleep for 3 hrs n woke up feeling so much better. Thank god. A lot of ppl wonder why don't I do birth control to regulate it and honestly I'm like against it. As crazy as it sounds I want to be my body to be as natural as possible even tho I'm getting implants. Hah! But I mean in that area- I plan on having kids one day and I think it's very normal for a woman to have 12 periods a year so I will take it. I have a cousin who was on birth control for years and now off and having a hard time conceiving. Her and her husband want a baby so bad but no luck. That traumatized me so I just stay clear of birth control and stick to the good old condom protection. I don't have sex much anyways. Can you believe I'm 24 and only had sex with 4 guys my whole life? Everyone I know seems to double or triple my number lol i don't plan on sleeping with anymore becuz I'm with my bf now. Unless we break up, but then I doubt I'd go crazy. Lol I made it thru college not sleeping around n I still don't now. Every guy I've been with has been my exes or bf. I just have respect for myself not to give myself up to ppl who don't deserve me. :)

Wednesday… Thursday… Fri… I mean BOOBIES! May 2nd!

Pretty calm again, when i think about it i get anxiety so i kinda try to keep myself busy and calm. Tomorrow and Thursday I start taking the bruising medication to prevent it (I do bruise super easy- still got 2 big bruise marks from blood work at pre op 2 weeks ago). Thursday night I will shower with hibiclens soap that the doc gave me, then friday morning shower again with it too before surgery as well as my first shower post op. Still not sure of the exact time of the surgery yet.

So today is April 29th and I had one VS reward card left and i was telling my friend at work how i'm going to stop by the mall after work to pick out something… She ends up having one of her own and gave it to me because she wasn't going to use it. So i went and bought 2 wire free bras and got $20 off. So each bra was technically $15. Super comfy. i know that i should wait on bras… but i assume i will be safe with a 34C sister size of 32D. But if anything I have the receipt and can return if needed or exchange. So i was browsing the store and was looking at 32D and 32DD and even some 34C…. i started getting kind of scared. Lol I was like these are all HUGE cup sizes. WTF!?!? I'm kind of taken back because i don't want to be THAT big. But then again i was like wow girls wear these and it doesn't even look at big. IDK… just a thought. I even tried on the bras and I can fit them now, still partially empty in the cups. You can see come extra space that needs to be filled. Ahhh getting closer and closer. Let's just get this over with. I hate the feeling of suspense and anticipation. Lol i feel pretty prepared. What I need to really prepare is my mind. Strong mind = strong body. :)

Pics from today...

Ahhh getting closer and closer.

Last min prep!

So tmrw is my last day at work before I'm off for my BA. I'm getting off early and waiting for my bf to get off so we can head down to Miami! Its happening! I will know exactly when my surgery time is tmrw. For the most part I'm pretty calm about this... I think it's mainly because I want it over and done with already. I feel like I pretty much got everything I need. Doing some last min cleaning of my house tho I'm going to be mainly recovering in Miami but it will be nice to come home to a clean home. :)

12:30pm MAY 2nd! Tmrw it's going down!

So it was like 11am and I still haven't received a call from the office to figure out my time. I'm getting too anxious! So I called n he was in surgery so they would have to get back to me. About 15 mins later I got a call from the office! Dr Messa will be at the hospital tmrw morning so he'll be seeing me at 12:30pm. Ugh I'm relieved but at the same time I was hoping it would be as early in the morning as possible. But since he usually doesn't take surgery patients in Friday I was still excited! Better than waiting until next month to have it done! I'm working a few more hours. I'm just not looking forward to not eating for that long. Nothing after midnight tonight or all morning tmrw. :( I'm not getting any sleep tonight. And I'm going to be so ansty tmrw morning. I'll probably get to the office around 11 or 11:30 just in case they need me for anything. :) I'm ready! Let's do this!

It's here! The day is here!

Hey everyone... I'll be heading to the office in about 2 hrs. I'm actually calm again.... I'll probably get worked up on the way there. U know I'm ready to get it over with. Tired of all the anticipation and reading other women's stories of their journey! It's time I experience it my for my own. :) wish me luck! Saying bye bye to my small tuberous boobs n all my bras that won't for after today! Yay!

OMG it's happening!

I just got out of the shower and washed my body with hibiclens soap to remove any bacteria. I literally get out and i get a call from the Doc's office… they asked how i was doing! I said pretty nervous… they were like we have some good new…. the doc is back from his morning appointment at the hospital and he is ready NOW…. They just bumped my appointment to 11:30am instead of 12:30. Now i'm rushing around the house gathering my stuff… got my prescriptions, pillow for car ride back, gatorade with bendy straw, and an triple bagged small trash bin just in case i vomit- knowing me i vomit at the little signs of motion. lol I have severe motion sickness and being drugged up will make it even worse. Lol I throw up on long car rides if i'm not driving or of long flights, even on my period sometimes. hahaha Anyways! Wish me luck! I'll be on the other side in a few hours! :) I will try to update later depending how i feel. I appreciate everyone of you for the support that got me this far!

I'm alive!!!!!!!! I'm here!

Hey guys, it's 2:30am I wish I could of updated when I got out of surgery. Unfortunately my recovery has been extreme n not so good. I've been non stop vommiting and having a few panic attacks. My poor family and bf. I keep on crying. My pain is about a 7-8/10. I will go into more detail later just wanted to let everyone know I'm alive and I survived surgery. :) pray for me that tmrw is a lot better. I have an appt at 10am for my surgical bra.

So it's 4am....

So I had to wake up my bf so he can give me a pain med. my boobs are swollen and hard. I haven't seen them yet. I'm scared to look at them tmrw at my appt. I did end up getting 400cc R/ 375 cc L mod plus not sure of the brand or anything. I'll find out later. I'm still over all happy with everything. I figured I'd have an awful recovery. I can't keep food down. I think it has to do with the anesthesia and meds. I'll update a lil later with pics.

Mini update for now.

Hey ladies, wish I could update a lil more in detail of how my actual surgery went. I'll probably do it maybe Monday or Tuesday. I remember a lot but no energy to type it. I have stop vomitting and today I actually kept food down. I'm super sore n taking mini naps. I'm very immobile. I cannot walk too much if I do I'm very slow. Still having my bf and sister pull my pants n wipe me when I go pee. I don't really feel much constipation because I went right before surgery and I haven't even eaten much. I probably had 2 tablespoons of soup the whole day yesterday. Today I had 3 whole bowls and some ice cream. :) my pain n soreness is at a 7/10 right now. I'm getting nervous because starting Tuesday I'll be alone until Saturday. I'm praying I'll get better by then and a lil more independent. Overall I think my surgeon and his team did an awesome job, I still love them despite the pain I'm in. It's my body and the reaction I'm having to the meds and anesthesia. Tmrw I'm resting all day and Monday I have a post op appt at 9. When I went in today to get the bandages removed the sweet nurse asked if I wanted to see it before she out on the bra. I said no. She said there were bruising around my areolas and middle chest. I'm scared of what I'll see and be horrified. My bf saw n he said they look awesome. I get to shower tmrw and starting Monday massage them so they loose up and soften. Right now in my bra they look small from what I can see, but I'm having faith. I don't think I would of gone bigger than 400/375. It's just going to take time. Thanks so much for the love n support everyone. The journey is hard and far from over but I'm glad I did it so I can recover sooner. :)

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prays!

I'm still alive… unfortunately… i'm that small percentage that is having an extreme recovery…. I've been having a lot of panic attacks, very emotional, the meds are making me crazy. I was crying hysterically in a Denny's today that i had to go sit in the car where i fell asleep. I feel VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! and it sucks cuz not much can be done about it. I have a constant head ache causing me to be a tad nauseas. And i dread on sleeping because when i wake up my neck and back are KILLING me. I honestly wanted to die so i can be put out of my misery. The soreness is not that bad, it's about a 5/10 now. The head ache and back pain is what is making it worse. I'm more mobile than i was on the first 2 days. I honestly want it to be over already. I have 2 more days off of work… i'm praying to God he does a miracle on my body. Please keep me in mind…. :) i'm starting to feel very depressed because of the pain- the boobs are great- hard and high- i have yet to seen them all bare- i'm very scared to look because I'm afraid i'll see something i don't like. I already see a lot of bruising around my nipple and middle chest which has freaked me out. My doc saw me this morning and said i look great. I'm not sure if he just says that to everyone to calm them down. I still love him. Something about him makes me calm, he came in and i was crying because i was so in discomfort. Also wanted to give a shout out to my BF, he has been amazing. Poor him he has put up with me and all the stuff i've put him thru. I HAVE PUT HIM THRU A LOT. Lol from yelling and saying mean things to him because the pain I'm in. He just bites his tongue and pushes thru. :) I love him for it. My mom even said she felt sorry for him because i act like such a baby when it comes to him. Lol I'm eating better now and i can pee myself- starting to bloat. Yikes. :( I can get up alone, but the head ache and back pain is just turning me into a mad mad person. Not like myself. Please help me push thru to the end of the week. I want to feel better already- at this point i don't care what i look like, i want to feel better. PERIOD. I'll post some pics- sorry they aren't as everyone expected to be pretty and great- as stated I'm scared to see them so i'll post what i have. Thanks :_

Pics post op!

Here are some pics for now.

Post op DAY 4 with smiles! :)

HI EVERYONE! I just wanted to say i am feeling better and better everyday! The first 3 days including day of surgery was AWFUL HELL. It was a lot for me, no matter how much u guys saw i tried to prepare myself. Right now, i still feel tired and i'm very scared! Scared of the slightest movement to break my incisions or pop my breast or my implants rupture or come out from my natural boobs. I'm bring careful with everything i do. Still tight and hard. They look crazy. Still haven't seen the whole thing bare- as mentioned from what i see from the top view, it's scary and bruised. I can't imagine what the whole thing looks like. My pain now or should i say "soreness" is like a 4/10. Slight zings/ rings and i rub the area gently so they calm down and go away. I even talk to my new boobs (ahahah weird me) I rub them when they act up and say "Shhh shhh calm down now, it's ok" hahaha My doc says it's the nerves that are trying to heal. This experience has been a lot for me, emotionally and physically. Today is my first day alone, my bf left back to work and won't be home until Saturday night… scares me a bit… but i'm a lot better than the beginning. I can go to the bathroom and tuck myself in and get out of bed. Before he was basically carrying me around the house. poor him. He went grocery shopping last night and made sure i had enough food to last until saturday. All my fav goodies and easy to cook foods. Cereal/ oreos and milk, can soup, from veggies. Today i also started taking Dulcolax- women's laxative. I went just a lil- not enough to get rid of the bloating- i would like to try again later. I want my flatter tummy. I don't even want to bother with the scale right now. i feel 10 lbs heavier.

So i want to go into detail regarding surgery- i feel so up to it to let u guys know since lately my updates have been brief. So day of surgery, i got up and showered with hibiclens soap. I got the call that they wanted to take me an hr early. We got to the office at 11:30am. Took me and had me do a urine sample- took me to the pre op room and started hooking my IV- i was terrified i hate needles. They got my dressed/ socks/ surgery robe- my bf came in and i had a mini break down- started tearing up because i was nervous- he was telling me to keep it together. I made him promise to be there when i wake up, thats the only person i wanted to see. So Dr Messa came in and spoke with me about sizes and look - showed my pics and also where to place the incision- i told him my concerns of breast feeding and he said on my left we can do the crease and the right the mastopexy. But i said i wanted the same incisions on each side, not thru nipple on right and crease on left. I told him i wanted 375/400 because i rather wake up bigger than smaller and he said it would def give me the look i want. But he warned me and said- what i see right out of surgery is NOT the final product so be patient. Then he marked me up- i met the anethesiologist- he was so funny! the nurse took me to the operating room- I walked in like a lil lost scared puppy with big eyes- i was like "whoa- this is so big and bright in here!" They laughed and jokingly asked if i wanted to be operated on in the dark? i was like HELL NO! lol The nurse was prompting up my legs and put booties on… the anesthesiologist said he was going to put some meds in my IV- he told me some ladies start so see the ceiling lights swirl- BAM. i don't even remember sleeping or dozing off. Next i remembered waking up and reaching out my hand for my bf. the recovery room was a tad dim. I was so happy he was there- i asked if i was in HEAVEN. Lol The nurse asked if i was ready to go home, i said yes. I don't even remember being wheel chaired out to the car or the ride home. I got to my moms and slept- when i woke up i was so in discomfort- nauseous/ sore/ tight/ immobile. My bf gave me an oxy and fed me soup- shortly after- a vomit fest begin (sorry) lol I threw up like 5-6 times. I even went pee and sat on the toilet and even leaned over to throw up on the floor matt. How am i suppose to throw up on the toilet when I'm sitting on it? LOL That was a bad bad day- i was crying, screaming bloody murder and couldn't breathe. I kept having panic attacks like i was breathing like i was about to give birth. My fam and bf were freaking out trying to calm me. I even started hallucinating. Day 2 i stayed home and ate soup and in and out of sleep. Day 3 i went to target and walked around and felt better- still had my episodes. Monday i had my post op appt- i woke up and took a oxy- bad idea- no food and i started feeling crappy. Made it to the doc and he checked on me- said everything was great- answered my questions of how long to sleep on my back- 2 weeks elevated 2-3 pillows. Lotion my chest/ switch to tylenol/ advil/muscle relaxer. I am seeing him May 27th for my 3 week check up. He said by then i should be looking semi-normal since i told him i feel like a monster now. I said one side is so swollen and the other is decent. Also- i got my card sizes i'm actually a tad bigger than i wanted- but i don't care anymore, i rather have these sizes than smaller- i am Round Sientra mod plus- 410cc R/ 380cc L. I feel like when the settle they will be what i want.

I apologize for my gross pics- i've been having it rough. I'm so glad the worst is over. Tmrw is my last day being a BUM. I am suppose to be back to work tmrw but I'm still sleepy and tired and not ready to go back to work. Im requesting an additional day off. But thursday and friday- i get to work from home- i brought my work laptop home i just have to be productive because i have like conference calls to take and i work with our field office in Colorado so i'm like constantly on the phone with consultants and clients for our office. I can't be doing that drugged up. Lol. I'll post some pics of the girls now- still bruising on the right (mastopexy). My neck and back still are like UGH- painful but not as bad. No more headaches (knock on wood). I cannot wait until they heal and settle. I like how when i zip up my hoodie you can't even notice them. I can't wait to wear some normal clothes and hide them at work and then the weekend or after work i can be like BAM new boobies.

Though i've been having the hardest time thru my recovery- i know when these tatas settle few months from now- i'll overall be happy i went thru with it and made it. I'm a stronger bi*ch than i thought! :)

Pics post op day 4

Excuse the ugliness and bruising. I know once the swelling goes away and bruising disappears they won't look monstrous! I have hope! 410cc/380cc Sientra mid plus smooth round.

YAY!

Yay no more heavy pain meds- i am still going to take a muscle relaxer before bed, but no more of the percocet/oxycodone. That def was what was making me crazy. So today, my stomach was so hard and big- so round. I was holding it like i was 4 months pregnant when i walk around because that's how i felt. It was getting to the point where i was in pain. I didn't even want to eat anymore because i was like i don't want to add more to it. So i decided to take Ducolax laxative. 3 tiny pink pills about 2pm. It said overnight relief but i didn't take it overnight so i wasn't sure how it was suppose to work. Well anyways- the day went on and nothing. I sat on the toilet and tried and still nothing- very uncomfortable when you try to go and you cant. So i took a nap and about 8pm i decided to try again- i kid you not i sat on the toilet for like 30 mins and nothing- then all a sudden…. yea TMI. Since then I had to run to bathroom twice. I don't care, as long as i'm going and it's all out. I feel 100% better. Constipation is no joke. I can't wait until this belly goes down. :)

Also, i have an older sister, she is 2 years older than me, we use to be super close but we live in different cities and we grew up together but once we hit college we ended up having different lives. I'm a lot closer with my younger sister nowadays. Well my older sister just texted me that she will be in town for memorial day weekend. She wanted to meet up- beach and dinner? Unfortunately i will be back in Miami on Monday/Tuesday because i have my 3 week post op appt. Well she doesn't know i actually got my boobs done. she knew i was toying with the idea for the longest time. She didn't know i had the guts to actually go thru with it. So when i see her in 3 weeks- I'm hoping my boobs will settle more. I'm wondering if i should still "conceal" it and hide it or flaunt it and tell her. I know she'll run back to my other side of the family and tell them, i just don't want them to talk negatively about the whole situation. If any ladies can give me an input i would def appreciate it. :)

Ahhh I looked at them for the first time!

So I'm alone and I had to shower myself. I didn't want to take off my surgical bra, I feel like it's my security like how my bombshell bras use to be my pre op security. I'll post some pics so ppl can see my progress. It's ugly I warn ya! They are so scary. I hope they will get better over time. U can see the swelling and the size. Pretty big compared to me pre op! Please don't call me a monster. I know they look awful right now in the beginning stages. My body is trying to get use to them. :(

:) I feel good, not great yet, but good!

Hey ladies! So today is my last day off. I'll be working thurs/Friday. No more mid day naps or waking up late. I've been sleeping like 15 hrs a day. My neck pain and my back pain has gone down a lil. I'll be 100% when I can sleep on my side again. My pain/ soreness is like 2/10. It's still tight and hard. I'm able to massage now but my doc said no rush some ppl don't even massage. The massages kinda look extreme because my tits are hard. I had a hard hick up today and my left boob hurt bad, sharp pain probably because of my chest muscle contracting. Owwww. So I had the courage to take off my surgical bra and tried some swim suits on. I wanted to wait until the weekend but I was too curious. I think once they settle they will look a lot Better. Right now they are so swollen and not settled that they aren't defined. My middle cleavage is swollen so U won't be able to see the roundness until it goes away. Overall I'm happy. Can't wait until they drop soften and fluff out. I have hope that I will have my ideal look. Natural looking boobies for my body type. I didn't want to be top heavy or over the top. Tell me what u guys think. :) xoxo

Post Op Day 6

Hey ladies, I'm doing better and better. I'm taking it real easy- maybe too easy. Lol i don't want to do anything too much. I tried doing some dishes today and my arms got tired because i had to scrub some pots and pans. I stopped half way. There are not much changes to the new additions. I feel like they got a tad softer, then tonight they kind of tensed up i wonder why. I took 2 advils and after i shower i will take a muscle relaxer. They got super hard and kinda tight on chest- right when i thought they were easing up. Anyone had this problem? I hope it's not capsular contracture or hematoma. No real pain. I am taking a medication called "singular" (hope i spelled it right) for capsular contracture, its like an allergy pill so my body gets use to the silicone and not fight it because its foreign. I may be wrong, all i know if i have to take it right before bed. i started some little massages today because i want them to soften up. The massages feel weird. I can't stand these rock hard blocks on me anymore. :(


It was my first day back at work (working from home) but hard for me to concentrate and I was soooo sleepy like around 2pm i wanted a nap. But i managed to get some work in and i haven't napped all day, wanted to get back to a normal sleep schedule.

Also my doc instructed that i take off the surgical bra 8 hrs a day to let the boobs breathe and drop. no band needed. I feel really weird having the bra off and bare my boobs around for 8 hrs. But i took it off and wore a zip jacket, still it's too loose and rubs my nipples and they are way to sensitive. So i found a better solution to wear a white beater tank top with the gauze pads in between. It's like tight enough to protect my boobies but lose enough so they can drop on their own and not be constricted. They aren't extremely high- well just my right one. lefty is behaving. The right one with the mastopexy is troubled. Super hard and super swollen. I am getting to the impatient stage ready for them to settle and drop and soften up. :( It's only day 6. I am looking forward to more days to pass on by so i can see some drastic changes. I don't even mind wearing a sports bra for a few months, i don't need to go bra shopping right away, i just want them to soften up and look normal. :( I feel like 80% but i would like to feel like 110%.

Having boobie blues…. :(

So i'm going thru my old pre op pics… i kinda miss my natural deformed tatas. :( Is that normal?…. I think it's because my new boobies haven't settled in yet and they look ugly to me. They're high and hard and so ugly with the bra off… :( Kinda depressing myself over it. Of course nothing i can do at this point. What's done is done. Just hopefully i will see these new boobies change and i will start loving them…. I haven't driven yet tmrw will mark a week… I'm going to wait until Sunday to drive, just scared to get behind the wheel since my arms are tired from doing lil things like washing dishes. I can't imagine driving a car. Hmmm… I feel like i gained weight too. Just from staying home and eating my life away and not being too active. Also when i lean over my boobs are like so heavy i feel like i could tip over… :( ugh I'm guessing this is a phase. I hope i snap out of it.

HELP!!!! Post op 1 week

I'm starting to feel some stings on the side of my left boob…. the scary part i wish it was outside on my skin that feels like that but it's inside. I can't see what's wrong. Is this normal???…. And i feel like lil "contractions" within my boobs like certain areas. It goes away but then comes back. Is this something normal or should i address it with my PS?…. They still are super hard and i haven't seen them drop much… I'm post op day 7- 1 week today. It's crazy one week has passed by, i still feel impaired- not on heavy meds or anything, but still not completely normal. I'm taking it really easy. Enjoying and relaxing this weekend before I head back into the office for work on Monday. I just want to be normal again. :(

Day 10 post op new pics!!!!

So i'm Day 10 Post op! Time is flying but not fast enough…. they are still hard and i don't see too much difference as i'd hope. They are still hard and high. I've been massaging the top, but they are still sore from surgery so i haven't been aggressively massaging. I want to make sure i don't open the incisions on my nipples. I still have stitches in and supposedly they are suppose to dissolve on their own. I have my 2nd post op appt in 2 weeks to see how i'm doing.

Today was my first day back in the office. It wasn't too bad, i was a tad bit uncomfortable. I accidentally punch myself in the boob by pulling on something that was stuck and then it all a sudden snapped and my hand sprang back and hit myself. OWWW. :( I had to carry my bags to the office and i know I'm not suppose to be carrying anything heavy for at least 2 weeks. Unfortunately my laptop bag and my purse weigh a lot. I was a tad out of breath when i was walking. No one mentioned anything even tho everyone knew i was having my boobs done. I wore a conservative loose button up and a tank top under. I look exactly how i was before surgery wearing my bombshell 24'7. Lol that;s what i wanted.

So here are some pics, i was trying some stuff on. I'm happy with the overall experience but I'm not sure about a lot of things. I want them to settle, and i'm just not happy with the weight on my body. I'd be happy to lost at least 15 lbs and now that i can't even do anything but watch what i eat. I feel like i gained more weight. I think i weighed 128lbs when they weighed me for surgery. Once i get the go to exercise i'm working my ass off so i can fit back into some shorts i use to wear when i was 18. :) I have no excuse cuz i don't have any kids or anything. I just have a big ass mouth and i love to eat. Lol

As far as the new girls, my right is still swollen and high. Pretty much lost sensitivity. My left however, the nipple is way sensitive and the whole boob it's self. I have been having pains on the side by my armpits and side boobs and also underneath the boobies. The bruising has gotten better, thank god. Kinda turned a yellow hint of color, but i've been taking the bruising medications so it goes away. They are perky and hopefully resulting in a more natural look. I'm very glad i didn't go bigger or didn't go smaller. I like my size, i don't think i will have any boob greed, i didn't want them HUGE in the first place, i just wanted them big enough for my 4'11 body. I think just for the heck of it, i'm still going to buy me a VS bombshell once they settle- lol if i want to go big, i'll wear my special VS bra. :) Otherwise, i will enjoy my natural shape. I'm also not wearing a bra to work, the surgical bra is not uncomfortable to me, first it was comfortable and i always wanted to wear it, now once i wake up i can't wait to get that damn thing off. LOL. My boobies aren't square-ish, but they def need the swelling to go down so that way they round out more. :) HAPPY HEALING. Bring patient!

Still having Boobie Blues...

I'm post op day 11 now… almost hitting my 2 week mark- crazy time does fly. But my boobs are still hard and high. I've begin massaging quite a bit. Hard/ high/ swollen. I'm also still feeling pain especially on the sides of my boobs as well as under. It's not a sting or zing, feels like very sore like bruised up but i see no bruised areas. I wonder if it's nerves or my skin stretching. I'm hoping it's not internal bleeding or capsular contracture. :( Such a worry wart. Also my left nipple is super sensitive and my right has no feeling. Booo. It's hard massaging when my boobs are swollen and feel like they are going to explode. :(

I'm wondering if i made a right decisions now with the whole size and procedure… Still love my doc and his team but… I'm starting to get the opposite of boob greed… maybe i went too big. Is there such thing? I think so. Some pics they look great with my body but others it's like WHOA- TOTALLY FAKE TITS. :( which wasn't the look i was trying to achieve. Maybe i should of stuck with my original size of 300cc. I'm wondering if these will ever get soft and normal. I'm hoping they will shrink. With clothes on they are great, without, i just don't like the way they look right now. Doesn't look like boobs at all. All crazy and ugly looking. :( I was trying some bikinis on that i thought before my BA but in Medium tops (i usually wear small or even x-small) Well even Medium now is a lil too small for me. It was tight. I didn't want to be a Large top and Small bottom. That wasn't the proportion i was aiming for. Ughhhh. Post op appt in 2 weeks. I also wore a cotton bra today to work instead of going braless, it was tight and made creases in my boobs and sides, i went to the bathroom to take it off. Braless feels nicer. I just want them to drop and feel softer.

Also to top things off, i gained a lot of weird. I feel so freakin pudgy and fat. Just want to crawl in my bed and cry… Hope i start feeling better.

2 weeks already?!?!

Happy 2 weeks to the new additions! Still questionable about a lot of things. I'm still not use to them. They are still hard and I'm not sure if they dropped any. I've been lightly massaging. Still some bruising. I've been taking it real easy. Have some uncomfortness thru out the day. Wake up every morning with morning boob- no fun. Still sleeping on my back. Will continue to do so until my post op appt in a week. I'm not sure about sizing. Still hoping they shrink after swelling goes away. I tried on some bras but none fit right because my boobs are still hard. I will keep waiting. I think my issue is that I keep comparing myself to other girls and their recovery process and how easy it is and how their boobs changed rapidly while mine is like the total opposite. Well I'll continue to see how things go.... I think my doc did a great job at sizing because he basically matched my wish pics of me in a bombshell. I also ask questions on real self to doctors about my breast and many said it looks like I will have great results which was reassuring and made me have a peace of mind. As time goes on I think I'll be happier. Happy healing!

3 week POST OP!

Hey Ladies,

Now that surgery is over… I will be doing weekly updates instead of updating everyday like how i was because i was so anxious for surgery to come. Came and went, fairly quick. I am 3 weeks post op and I'm slowly coming along! I still have a long way to go, i really think it will be at least like 4-6 months before i will be super happy with the final results. As of now, they look pretty good compared to some other cases i've seen especially since i had more work done (mastopexy lift of the nipple)…

I have my 3 week post op this Tuesday right after memorial day. There are some concerns i have, but maybe it's in my head. Just part of the healing process i suppose. The symmetry is still off, but i can't expect the swelling to be all gone after only 3 weeks. My right boobie is noticeable either larger or more swollen. It is the one with the bigger implant 410/380cc. I'm wondering if i should of just gotten the same size, but pre op i was very noticeable smaller on my right, now it's bigger post op. Lol one extreme to the other. Can i catch a break?

At work, it is not very noticeable at all. I wear more conservative clothing, i don't want to attract any attention and get in trouble. Corporate is very cut throat. You do anything to disrespect others and they will cut you out regardless of your loyalty to the company. A lot of ppl know i had them done, but not noticeable at all, which i love… I've been BRA-LESS at work everyday too. HAHAHA I just wear a tank top under everything and i took out the padding from a bikini and put them to over my nipples. As you know, your nipples are HARD all the time after sugary until they fully heal. Hahaha On the topic of clothing, i definitely love how certain clothes look and i can wear things i would have NEVER worn before because it would of looked awful. lol I do feel sexier in ways… :)


Bad news is i have developed STRETCH MARK on my right breast, left one is so beautiful. Naturally before my BA, i had little stretch marks on my thighs, but not very noticeable at all, they are light and faint. This would be my very first deep stretch mark if u know what i mean. They are raised and you surely can feel them and see them. I think it's because right after surgery i was not moisturizing the skin so it had more elasticity that was stretch causing that. So now they are here. :( I hear if you treat them early they can fade away a lil bit more… Any suggestions on stretch marks?…

I also started at the gym again- shhh! i didn't get the clearance yet. But i couldn't stand being inactive anymore. I have been not doing anything crazy- no weights or upper body work outs. I just power walk 2 miles on the treadmill for 30 mins a day and i been doing squats to tone up my booty. Basically its summer in florida, its 90 degrees on a daily. Im also laying out and going to the pool and beach again, which i love now. Before i would go but i wasn't really comfortable. After all this, i've decided its time for me to happy in my own skin and also take care of myself. I am going to be 25 in a month, so now its time to change my life style and be happy. :) I feel like when your just generally happy, you have a special glow and it attracts positivity, which i need in my life! Anyways… happy healing! :)

Additional pics.... 3 weeks post op.

Just wanted to add some comparison pics.... Before and after BA. Before I was wearing a 32b. Sometimes 34a would have pockets in my cups and not fill it out all the way. I use to have shirts or dresses that I would wear and you can see the outline of the bra cups. :( problem solved now! Slowly but surely coming along.

1 month post op! Do I feel sexy?... Hell yea!!!

Hey ladies,

I am officially a MONTH post op- 4 weeks ago i had my boobies done. Wow time flies. I am looking forward to another month and a month after that. They are definitely changing. I will do a lil break down and try to keep it short. U guys know i love to babble about nonsense. Lol

So the girls are doing great. I haven't realized any changes until i compare pics. I guess it's because i see them everyday. Lol They are definitely getting softer and rounder. Swelling is going away slowly. I still think another month or 2 they should be even and look close to perfect.

I had my post op appt on May 27th and I got some of the tape removed from my incisions. AHHH i was terrified of what i would see- but SURPRISINGLY it wasn't that bad. Nurse had to cut off some of the tape and it kind of hurt. I had glue on the incisions and they were slowly coming off. My right boobie with the full mastopexy still has tape- they said it wasn't ready to come off so wait and don't pull it off until it's ready. Fine by me. :) Cant wait until the incisions fade and it looks flawless. I keep massaging the stretch marks so they fade a lil more. Doc said my boobs are looking great- besides the right breast is slightly higher and more swollen and laying out and getting sun burned on it since they are still sensitive. :( My fault i didn't reapply sunblock.

Boobies are great- I definitely feel sexy! You can even tell in my pics- i have taken a million pics! I definitely feel more feminine, love the way my body can have more curves and shape. I even went to the mall and saw a few heads turn. LOL i also have posted a few pictures on my Facebook- i usually post "face shots'" but for once i posted a few body shots and it was quite a hit. I had about 6 different guys either i knew or didn't know message me. Too bad i'm already taken by my boo. Lol I didn't even bother going there. They aren't worth my time since before my BA they didn't even know i existed.

My nipples are slowly regaining their sensitivity i was getting nervous because i wasn't feeling anything. I am also on the medication- SINGULAR- which is basically for asthma and allege roes but some how it helps prevent capsular contracture. I have been on since surgery and still need to continue for another month.

I have started working out- i walk 2 miles at least 3-4 times a week- doing squats/ lunges. No upper body yet. But I'm glad to be active again. I would like to lose 10 lbs still before my birthday. I am planning to have a family formal dinner and I want to look hot. I have lost 5 lbs since surgery. But mind u i had gained a few lbs since surgery and now I'm basically back to square one with my weight, i weigh the same as before surgery.

My birthday is basically in a month. I can't wait. I am planning to go back to Miami to spend it there- I also have my 2nd post op appt on July 3rd- My doc's office is AMAZING. They told they are closed July 4th and Dr Messa is on vacation the whole week after. July 3rd- thursday was booked with surgery. Mind you i still have to work- i can't keep taking off to drive 4 hrs for a check up and 4 hrs back. Thats 8 hrs. Thank god my family lives down in miami and i stay with them, but if i go i rather stay a few days. So anyways… They said they can get me in July 2nd- i'm like I can't take off 2 days that week plus the 4th of july weekend. The scheduler said they can squeeze me in July 3rd- but won't know the time. I have to call the morning of to see what time betweens surgery they have available . But who care? I'll take it. I'm so glad the office is very understanding and flexible. Definitely 2 thumbs up.

Still no bra shopping- I'm actually quite patient with that. Every time I try on bras they look weird n don't fit the new girls so I rather not disappoint myself until they are ready. I go bra-less to work everyday. I still wear my surgical bra to sleep n probably will continue to do so for a long long time. I don't mind.

No regrets. Happy i did this and lived thru recovery- hardest part was right after surgery. As far as my size- i really am content/ satisfied about the size i chose. I don't have boob greed because i think they look good for my body. Of course u always have the thought "I COULD OF GONE BIGGER…" I was thinking hmm could of done 450cc… but honestly i would NOT go thru surgery all over again to get a bigger size. I am happy and will keep these lovely boobies until i need to get a revision after having kids- Probably in 10-15 years time to exchange them by that time. :) Happy healing! Thanks for the positive feedback and comments.

Crying my eyes out.... Help!

So I was going to wait until Friday to do my 5 week review and then I came into a BIG problem! Boobs itself is doing wonderful. Good shape and size. However I began to trim the surgical tape and glue from the right side (troubled boob) to reveal the incision. The nurse said the tape should be coming off soon. I decided to give to a helping hand. What HORROR I see!!!!!! I can't help but notice my nipples are completely different!!!! One is smaller and the other is my natural larger nipple from having tuberous like breast pre op! I automatically broke into tears! Now what? I do not want to go thru surgery again but I can not live like this! I feel more self conscious now than before. I'm wondering if I just should of kept my uneven boobs rather then getting the mastopexy. It's too late to call the office tonight but I am calling first thing tmrw. I think my doc did a great job but I guess we weren't clear that my nipples would look different. Who wants that?!? With clothes I was loving them now seeing how I can never be naked again n feel comfortable just makes me cry. I rather have 2 large nipples or 2 small nipples but not 2 different sizes. This is embarrassing! I'm a freakin monster- my bf or any guy who would see this is going to laugh at me. I called my bf and told him, bawled out my eyes. Instead of saying don't worry they are ok or no they look fine after they heal he tells me either go under the knife again or deal with it. Made me cry even more. I feel so alone. I went from happy to sad like that. I didn't know this weeks ago because the nipple was practically covered up and I assumed they were the same size. Help ladies. Comforting words are helpful. Any advice on what to do???? I'm not the one to usually call and complain but seriously! TWO different nipples sizes! My doc was focused on making the nipples centered on my chest and leveled. But I felt like I diameter and size of the nipple was disregarded as long as they were even. I'm so crushed. Please tell me what u ladies think.... Is it that bad as I'm thinking and seeing them???? Am I over exaggerating? Is it a bug deal? Please take me off this emotional roller coaster already. :(

More pics...

See for yourself....

Reason behind my mastopexy lift....

What a nightmare.... So I was born with uneven nipples. They're were never the same causing me to have a mastopexy to even the nipple when I got my implants in. One nipple was always lower than the other as well as smaller. I guess I had tuberous breast deformity. Noticeable and now they are noticeable different sizes. The doc said if I get just get the implants alone then my uneven nipples would of stand out more. Which is understandable. But now I'm like this.... :(

I've calm down a bit after crying for 2 hrs!!!! I have no more tears to cry. I'm going to sleep on it and then make a call first in the morning. I have my 2nd post op appt in a month. But since in 4 hrs away it's not like I can come in on my lunch break or after work. I want to email them pics of the size difference right now so they know. I'll keep everyone posted.

Mini update

Hey ladies... Short update. So I slept on the fact that nipples are completely different. Woke up today and called my doc's office. I believe Lilly picked up who is the girl at the front desk. I told her my concerns and started tearing up on the phone and I think she could hear it in my voice. She said things to calm me down. But the fact is my nipples are still different. She said the natural nipple is most likely swollen so that will shrink and my right mastopexy nipple takes a few months until the scar fades and become more symmetrical to the other. She just told me to wait until my next post op on 4 weeks to see changes. She reminded me that I'm only 5 weeks out and have not fully recovered so this isn't my final results. She said wait until I see the final results and at that time if there are no changes in the nipple size then I can consider a revision on the nipple. Wheeeew a lil reassurance. All I can do now is wait I suppose.... :( thanks for the kind words everyone, I needed it.

5 week post op update!

Today marks 5 weeks! Each day they look better.... Expect the nipples. Still different sizes but I come to the realization that it hasn't been that long and this isn't the final results. I will wait it out n see how things go in the next month before my next post op appt on July 3. I am praying to the boobie gods to make a miracle n make them more symmetrical. I know they won't be exactly identical but right now it's too noticeable for me. I am happy with the boobs itself- roundness/shape/size. I feel like they are still in their "fake" stage. Haven't fully dropped. Still wearing my good old surgical bra to sleep but going bra less during the day. I don't massage much, maybe once a day. They are getting softer: not much pain barely any. Some uncomfortable feelings that don't last long. My left nipple has regain sensitivity, my right not so much. I am working out now.... I power walk on the treadmill 2 miles which surprising makes me break a sweat. Then I do a lot of leg workouts: squats, lunges, and lots of stretches. My goal is seriously loosing 10 lbs before my 25th birthday which is 4 weeks from today!!!!!! I feel it's reasonable. I cut out junk and been exercising. Since surgery I hit my MAX weight at 131 lbs. omg. I def needed to start busting my butt in the gym. My bf is around 145-150lb no way I want to weight more than him or close To him. Lol so far I'm at 127 lbs. Being 115lbs is my ideal goal. I like being curvy and got meat on my bones but I hate having a muffin top or chunky legs and cellulite. All is good.... All I can do is wait. For scaring I ordered kelo cote scar cream. It's the same one my doc sells but I figure to buy it myself online for like $20 better get here quick. Lol

Kinda experiencing boob greed now that they are settling and boobs aren't that swollen. I could of went 450cc. Hah but honestly I feel like it depends what I wear. Some tops are like whoaaaa others like ehhhh not big at all. Ppl at my work don't even really stare or look at my fake boobs under my clothes. Lol we are going as a work team to the beach in 2 weeks and I'm debating to wear a bikini or not... I don't want to expose my body especially to the ppl I work with. Lol I got some bras... I figure I don't think I'm going to like jump a cup size or lose a cup size. Plus the bras I bought were only $5!!!! From Marshall's and tjmaxx surprising only bra that fits me decent are American eagle/ aerie bras. Light cotton ones. I can wear 36B/34D comfortable. Before the bras would still out on the side and not cuff my boob right maybe cuz I was swollen but these fit nicely. I'll wait to buy more expensive bras later.... anyways happy healing.

7 weeks and 2 days update post op

Hey ladies! Sorry for not posting updates as every week as i should. Life just gets you busy. A lot going on and i'm super busy. Well i am 7 weeks post op right now and i couldn't be any more happier! The nipples and shape of my right kind of bother me with the way it looks, but I'm not trying to make any judgement until about 6 months. I feel like they are fully healed already but i know they aren't. They are pretty soft. I don't massage as much as i should. Still on Singular for capsular contracture which i don't have but it's supposedly prevents it and my doc wants me on for another month. The scars on the mastopexy bother me a bit but I'm kind of over it by now. I'm using bio oil on them. My stretch marks also faded. I use cocoa butter lotion which I heard does nothing and retinol cream for the skin n it worked! I've been meaning to buy kelo cote cream but it slips my mind. I think over time they will look better.

So more boobie news…. I do wish i went bigger, but i am still loving what i have. I have emphasize in the past i wanted a more "natural look".. since mine are early stages, they still look fake, which at this point, i don't care cuz i love life with them! I look back at my pre op pics and i can't believe i had crazy looking natural boobs. These implants have done so much for me. I am VERY confident now, I am enjoying them to the fullest.

I got measured from VS during the semi annual sale- they kind of measure different- each girl i went to said i was a different size. I'll be the judge of that… I can fit 34D/32DD/34C. I think it depends on what kind of bras. I bought only 3 bras from VS semi annual sale. Didn't want to go all crazy. I am still wearing my lovely surgical bra to sleep. During the day i wear a non padded no wire bra. I don't really need them to drop any lower, maybe from upper pole, but that's it. I also sleep comfortably now. I can sleep on my stomach if i want but i am a side sleeper so it doesn't effect me.

My 25th birthday is in 2 weeks and I have begin an extreme life changing journey. About 5 weeks after surgery, i realize if i want to lose weight and be happy with my body i NEED to do something besides complaining and talking about it. A lot of ppl don't understand my struggle with weight loss and my weight. Everyone always says I'm skinny n perfect and all that... Honestly I have gained weight and didn't feel comfortable and was very insecure. The pic will show the difference of me over weight and ppl calling that perfect? Hahaha I barely could for into my shorts and couldn't breathe once I got them buttoned. Now they fit good but I could still have room for improvement. I started out slowly working out…. As i did NOT notice i have lost weight. In 3 weeks I am down 8lbs and I would like to drop about 10 more lbs. I do cardio and light weights and A LOT of leg work outs- squats and lunges. I am so much happier with my body. My max weight was 131-132lbs out of surgery. I knew then i needed to do something. Weight on me is so noticeable because i'm so small. i've cut back on eating out and junk food, of course i still have cheat meals. But i really am watching what is going in my body. :) My ideal weight is 115lbs. I feel like for being 4"11 that is reasonable since i use to be like 108-110lbs back in college. I don't mind having meat on my bones. There's no real secret for weight loss besides taking action and doing something about it. I kind of became a workout junkie, i don't want to stop. I got pass the point where you hate it and dread doing it, I look forward to it and i also try to do it 2x a day on weekends. Thats how obsessed i've become. I just want to be healthy and happy. :)

That being said…. i have gotten A LOT of attention, maybe too much. A lot of guys are noticing my body more… I posted some new pics on Facebook of my body and somewhat boobie pics, which before i had no courage to do so. Ppl have noticed my new "rack" if you will say. But i don't care anymore, i have no ashamed of them nor hiding them anymore. I've had about 10 guys have reach back out to me from high school and other times when i went out years ago… Crazy thing, i was INVISIBLE back in the day. No one noticed me. Now here is the new me that everyone comes back around. Of course i like the attention since i never had it before… but i think back and my lovely boyfriend had been there with me thru it all, before my weight loss before my surgery and loved me for me and not my looks. He's just amazing. :)

I'll post up some pics of my weight loss and my new girls and the scars, new bras, and also my birthday outfit. Please PM if you have questions or want to follow me on instagram/ IG on my weight loss journey and just my life in general. Honestly, if you are thinking of a BA for tuberous deformity or a BA in general i def recommend my doc and the whole procedure. The whole journey has been crazy for me as many of you know. It was emotional for me more than physical, I am so happy now that I'm on cloud 9 all the time. DO IT, this is coming from a girl who had a wild awful recovery, i thought i was on my death bed, here i am almost 2 months out and I am normal and happy. Only regret i have is not doing this sooner. I wish I had done it in my early 20s to enjoy them a lil more. But here i am almost 25 and i feel sexy as hell! Happy healing my ladies. :)

25th Birthday outfit!

I forgot to include a pic of my 25th birthday outfit. My birthday is in 2 weeks. I've been looking for a white sexy classy dress. My theme for my birthday is all white attire! Exciting. I'll be celebrating it down in Miami! I'm sooooo excited! Can't believe I'm getting so old! Let me know what u ladies think of this dress? I want to show the girls off.... It's like their coming out party since they look good enough to show off now. I have another other few outfits in mind but this is my favorite. Happy healing loves! :)

2 months post op update! So happy!

Hey Ladies,

Just wanted to give a brief update. Just had my 2 month post appt this week. Everything looks good. My doc said the right nipple (Mastopexy life) should be stretching out a lil more to make it even to my other nipple. just remember "GIVE IT TIME" no rush. For 2 months post up- i'm EXTREMELY happy. Recovery wasn't so great for my but the outcome and results are all worth it. :) My next post op appt is in 2 more months- september.

I am put back Singular for another month to prevent CC. I don't mind tho. I haven't massaged lately so i feel like they can be softer, but i'm slacking so it's totally my fault. I am still using cocoa butter, retinol cream, bio oil every night for the incisions. As for bras…. I went to the VS outlet the other weekend- TOTALLY WORTH IT. got so much stuff and i didn't pay more than $20 bucks for an item. So many varieties and selections. I got cute bikinis for like $7 and expensive regular store bras for $12.99 that are usually $60 in VS in the mall. Cant beat that!!!! I'm still weary about wearing wired bras tho i have a few. I am wearing these super comfy wireless bras from Mashalls. I highly recommend them. OMG so comfy better than VS wireless bras that i paid $50 for. I got these for $10. I bought one and it was ugly but felt so comfortable that i went back and bought 3 more in nude colors and white.

So this whole experience has made me such a happier person! I have gained so much confidence. Can you believe i actually walk around the house naked now???…. i remember when i first began my experience i didn't show my BF of 4 years my boobs. Now I show everyone my tits. LOL my sisters, her friends. I would have never before. Yesterday was 4th of july and everyone was squeezing my boobs. Lol I am working out like crazy too, which has relieved me from a lot of stress i suffered from. i'm down 10 lbs now and still got a lil way to go but my body is feeling and looking amazing. I spoke with my doc office and they said no chest/ shoulder work outs for another 4 months. :( Bummer, she said biceps and cardio and leg workouts are fine. Bleh. I can't do anything but wait.

Any detailed questions about the whole experience or my procedure please inbox me, I want to help! If you guys want to follow me on Instagram on my weightloss/ workout and my daily crazy life in Florida, please add me on IG- inbox me. I don't feel like putting on the post. I had some random ppl reach out to me about my experience that probably should NOT be on here. Lol Happy healing my lovely ladies.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND DR MESSA. So happy i chose him. :)

3 month update

So I'm about to hit the 3 Month mark and I couldn't be happier! My incisions are still sensitive but my boobs look way better than they did before surgery so I can't complain. I have so much more confidence and I'm so much positive and happy now. I workout like 5-6 days/week and been eating healthier and decided to live a healthier life style. I dropped from a size 5/7 to a size 3. My body looks great and even better with my new assets. I don't care if they look fake now, I love them regardless. As for size sometimes I wish I went bigger, but other then that I wouldn't do surgery again just got a bigger size. Once I have kids I'll def get them redone. Im a 32DD or 34D. I still wear wireless bras and wouldn't mind wearing it forever cuz they are comfy. I have maybe a good 10 wired bra from VS that I haven't broken in yet. I'm so happy and my doc and his team were amazing. Highly recommend- look what he did to me! I feel complete! I am loving my body! After surgery, it me the courage and motivation to better my life as dumb as it sounds. Happy healing! Feel free to message me with any questions!

13 weeks! Question!

So I know I recently updated- just a few more pics... Today I started getting like a zinging/ pinching feeling in my right boobie. From what I read it's normal from every now and then after the BA. I may call the office just to see what's up if it continues tmrw. But other than that... Super happy with results. I just feel so much better about myself. Looking at old pics, I wish i would have done this when I was 21, not when I'm 24 right before I turned 25 like 2 months later lol I could of enjoyed them just as I am now but a few extra years in my youth. Lol but of course I have thought bout the famous "boob greed" it's real- from what I see I could of gone bigger, but thinking about the whole picture- long term- natural skin sagging and after having kids within 10 years- it's better if I keep this size. They look proportional to my body. Maybe after kids when I decide to redo them before I'm 40 for sure I'll go bigger. Lol so I recommend maybe on choosing the biggest size ur doc recommends, because it's better to wake up a lil too big than too small because I guarantee u they do shrink a lil!!!! I originally wanted 300cc and was scared those were going to be big because I already had a good small B cup of natural breast before- so glad I went 380/420cc! Be the judge for yourself- I feel and look better than ever and still working on bettering myself everyday- I have tons of energy and so pumped! Before I was a depressed lil hermit- I stayed in and ate all the time and watched reality tv. Now I'm pretty much out all the time at the gym, pool, beach, finding things to do to keep me busy. I'm so much more happier now! Not only cuz of my physical appearance n the surgery. This surgery was just a blessing in disguise and have me the boost to wake up! I was like 5 weeks out of surgery n I was looking in the mirror late at night n thought to myself- wow I let myself go and I can't believe I look like this! I need to do something NOW! I then put on my sneakers n gym close and went to my apartment gym at like 11pm at night n since then I kept to it and couldn't of been happier especially since I started seeing results! Also just wanted to note- my boobies are far from perfect- scaring is taking a tad longer to heal- using bio oil every night, also my left is rounder than my right, righty is also still more firm in touch, so ladies pre op please don't expect the most perfect flawless boobies post op, they will be as close as possible. :) also I definitely recommend anyone who has dealt with tuberous deformity of the breast (super pointed boobs) that a BA is a semi cure, it rounds them out more. Look at mine! I had a minor case of deformality tuberous breast n now they look okay. My boobs do look fake even with mod plus profile at this point idc- I'm glad they look that way, it was my worst fear before, but u know what I did it and I'm not ashamed. Oh last note- I walk around topless now!!!!!! Not sure if I mentioned that in my last few postings- but yea idc now if my bf sees my boobs now. lol it's a super awesome feeling!!!! Being comfortable in your own skin, that's what it's about- whether working out, surgery, different clothes or whatever! Go for it! Do what makes u happy and don't worry about everyone's opinions. Half the ppl I know love it that I got my tits done, the others talk trash, but it's my body and I chose to do this and I'm happy n healthy, all that matters!

Thank you Dr Messa!

Simply wanted to say thank you soooo much Dr Messa. Just wanted to post a comparison pic pre op vs post op. It def helps girls that are past puberty and their breast never grew in deciding if this is a decision for them. Best decision I ever made. :) please ask any questions about MY procedure and my journey- everyone's will be different, but I'm open to telling about mine. My boobies were sooo crazy looking before surgery lol I can't even remember those days I was so scared to take my shirt off in front of my bf of FOUR years unless the lights were off in complete darkness. All I can do now is laugh about it. lol

4 months and some weeks post op

Best decision of my life. I am so much more confident and happy with myself. I can't be any more grateful to my doc and his team. I'm trying hard to get into shape. I've lost about 8lbs and I need about 5 more to go. The surgery was definitely an eye opener for me. My boobies are great- still feel a lil firm unless I constantly massage. Lol again I highly recommend my doc. Also is anyone wants to follow me on my weightloss journey on Instagram, please message me for my screen name. Also any questions on my BA let me know!

Adding a few more pics of the girls!

Love them, still imperfect but definitely 100% better than what I started with! :)

Throwback- pre surgery!

I can't express how I am such a more positive and happier person now and more confident because of my BA. Of course I have a bad day here and there. But the most part I'm the happiest I ever been. I found some old pics on my old fone of me before surgery. U can see what I was working with- not much. Lol

I lost track of time because Im loving and enjoying my body!

Hey real selfers! I apologize its been months since any updates. I occasionally will read updates I use to follow and I still reply to any comments on my profile cuz I get notifications thru my email. Well... Let me first say, I have transformed by body. The surgery was the first step and only cosmetic procedure I underwent. I have become a fitness junkie. The implants were the first step in giving me a lil confident boost. I'm enjoying them and loving them every min. I show them off as much as I can, of course at the right place and right time (never at work). But I feel so sexy and confident! I still have a few wired bras but honestly I'm still addicted to my surgical bra I wear it almost every night. It's so worn out it's so comfy. I live in sports bra and yoga pants. But on a regular I wear a wireless bra. Comfy and supportive. I am anywhere from a 34C to 34D/32DD depending on brand. However, the only thing that bothers me is since I've gotten most in shape and lost some weight my boobs have shrunk. :( but nothing a good bra can't fix and I wouldn't need a revision. It fits perfectly for my body and I feel like my age of 25 im enjoying them at the most! I most likely will be more conservative once I have children and evolve as an adult. I couldn't be more happier and in love and my bf is the same! :)

Some of my stats to prevent ppl from asking multiple questions- I have sientra 380ccL/ 420ccR moderate plus silicone under the muscle thru the nipple. And I'm a 34C-32DD/ 34D depending on bra brand. I'm 4"11 and 118lbs.

PICTURES ADDED!!!!

Sorry, for some reason this new layout or something is not allowing me to add my pictures on my phone. :( I hope these have helped. :) Some are my weightless pics, others are my lovely girls. Please read my last post for more details. I will say they don't feel natural, mine are a tad firm, but not as hard as when I first had them. They are jiggly and squishy but not 100% natural. My fault for not massaging, but trust me I get my BF to massage them for me. Sometimes he even gets annoyed at me because I ask him so much to rub and squeeze my boobs like when we watch TV. LOL I will try to update maybe once a month… it's hard because i'm so busy and I don't even think about it anymore.
Miami Plastic Surgeon

Dr MESSA is AMAZING! I knew he was my doc before even meeting him. I came across him back in September 2013 and my surgery wasn't until May 2014. I started researching for BEST TOP DOC in South Florida and he was on the list. I spent 9 months eyeballing dr mesa and his work. I read on his background and reviews from hundreds of patients. Then I actually decided to act on it and go thru with it. I have NO REGRETS. Dr Messa is extremely caring and has exceeded all my expectations. I feel so comfortable and reassured when i met with him because I had my doubts about the whole thing. His staff is great, each of the nurses and girls are awesome. All so helpful. I remember calling the office crying about my nipples and one girl spent time to calm me down instead of rushing me off the phone. Every time i had an appt- i came and never waited more than 5 minutes! He has a very soft, calmness to himself with the way he speaks and moves- he is very professional, doesn't come off as creepy or unprofessional, super knowledgeable. He is all about business and making sure you look your best. He is awesome. Bottom line. I'm glad i didn't chose anyone else but him. Not only did Dr Messa change my breast, he changed my life- I'm so confident and happier now. I feel great inside and out. I even referred him to a few of my mom's coworkers who saw my results and now are very interested in getting theirs done too. If you are looking for a GREAT doc in south florida to get yours done, please consider Dr Messa. My results speak for themselves! :)

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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