A mommy makeover with a mini - right decision?

Why I want this tummy tuck.
Before I had kids I was about 13kg overweight which on a small frame was noticeable. With a huge effort I lost the weight and got to 56kg which was probably a bit ‘under’ for me – I looked scrawny but still had a bit of a belly, nothing to get too excited about.
I then had 3 beautiful kids over the next 6 years (now ages 8,5,2) all by caesarean section. After each one I worked hard to lose the pregnancy weight with diet and exercise and have ‘made it’ each time. What I’m left with after no.3 particularly, is a body that’s probably as fit and strong as I can get it (workouts 3-5 times per week), weight at about 60kg which is probably about ok for me, but a weird pointy kind of belly and a belly button that sticks out (my “outie umbie” or my ‘sad smile’ as I call her ?). I also went from small boobs to OK boobs during breast feeding, down to COMPLETELY non-existent boobs now. My 2 year old has bigger boobs than me lol!
Anyway, my belly is a problem. It hurts down the middle when I cough or sneeze, I have an umbilical hernia and 4 fingerbreadths separation of my muscles despite careful exercise (no crunches, lots of plank poses, following physiotherapists’ advice till the cows come home). I can see my small bowel contracting through the skin (eeuw) and when I eat, my full stomach protrudes due to no muscle tone. The protruding belly plus the outie BB make me look 5 months preg, and I still (at the age of 41) get ‘those’ looks and sometimes even the roundabout questions about whether I’m expecting again. Geez….
So after stalking RealSelf for ages I finally did some research about specific surgeons. So far I’ve been to two and it was interesting and thought provoking. Dr 1 was a really nice person, warm, professional and no-nonsense. Hubby came with me both times, with the plan just to be there as another pair of ears but to let me do most of the talking. Dr 2 was recommended by a colleague and he was professional, confident and my husband definitely clicked more with him. I would be happy with either of them but am going to go with Dr 2 because technically I’m told he’s really excellent, and he seemed to have a confidence that helped relax me a bit.
Who said anything about boobs?
To my surprise I found myself asking about boobs. Although I’ve always dreamt of having boobs, I never thought I’d be one to get new ones. Dr 1 took photos of my boobs – more embarrassing and not very funny at all. Her thoughts? She thinks I’d be a great candidate for new boobs. She would go for smooth round silicone under muscle, and I started tentatively with 280cc-ish sizers. Why not get theim? I worry about the risk of lymphoma which is tiny but definitely there, and the risk of not detecting a breast cancer (to which she said the chance of detection is higher because the surveillance is often better, and she would recommend MRI for me if I get a BA as my boobs are small, dense and she thinks mammograms aren’t great for implants). Starting MRIs would be a few years off anyway. The boob talk took me by surprise but I tried wearing some of her sample implants inside the sizer bra, and I really think new boobs would be a confidence booster just as much as a fixed tummy. My husband agrees – ever since I had the kids I haven’t really enjoyed my boobs at all, they’re so tiny and ‘nothing’. I also sort of lost sensation in my nipples after breastfeeding so they don’t add much to the sex life side of things for me. Surgery wouldn’t fix the sensation but they may at least make me feel better naked. On the other hand I’m so self-conscious about getting plastic surgery in the first place, being seen as vain etc. I’d only want small implants to bring me back to about a B -small C cup, like I was during breastfeeding. Just enough to balance out my hips and complement my hopefully flat tummy.
Dr 2 also was pretty keen on the new boob idea. He would go for part under muscle part under breast, smooth round silicone probably about 325cc. By the time I saw Dr 2 I was more comfortable with the notion and in retrospect I think that anything under 280cc would probably end up too small.
Is the surgeon trying to talk me out of this?
About the tummy itself, Dr 1 was more reserved. She said I had a ‘grand canyon’ of a muscle gap, but not much loose skin, and the incision would be determined by my c-section scar which is low but crooked. I keloided with my first 2 c-section scars but not the third thanks to a steroid injection into the wound and dermafix silicone scar treatment afterwards. Her biggest concern was that I would struggle with a scar this large on a small-framed person (seriously I’m not THAT small – size S or even M in most bottoms). Having spent months on RealSelf looking at scars I don’t think that will be a problem and neither does hubby. MY biggest issue is recovery time and going back to work. I’m a bit of a ‘do-er’ and I bounced back within 24h, up and walking, turning, bending after all 3 caesars so I had thought 2.5 weeks off work then back to the 2 days a week bit first, using my at-home days to recover. She tells me I should plan for 6-8 weeks off! I can’t imagine EVER being able to take that amount of time off!
Dr 2 said minimum 2-3 weeks off which is more do-able. It’s the tummy that will slow me down most, of course, and I have 3 kids, 4 jobs, a new puppy… but a lovely husband and supportive extended family.
My morbid fear of what others will think of me.
I want to keep this as secret as possible, can’t imagine what I’ll tell colleagues at work (doctors - they’d see through most fibs I can think of) and how I would actually go doing the standing up/walking parts of my work (2 days a week – 9-11 hour days, the rest is desk-based at home). I’m afraid of being completely dependent on others during the recovery period. Plus this is an elective procedure so I’ve only got myself to blame if I can’t shower or toilet myself! How can I ask someone to take time out of their life for a purely aesthetic choice on my part? I come from a fairly down to earth family and I’m afraid of being a disappointment to my mum and sisters for being vain (possibly not giving them enough credit there). My husband is supportive (esp of the boobs which he thinks will make a bigger difference to my self-confidence than even the tummy tuck, and I bet he’s hoping if get new boobs he’ll be able to touch them again after all these years, which is fair enough! At some stage I’ll have to get over all these hang-ups if I am going to go ahead with this but boy it’s hard! At this stage I’m going to keep the boobs to myself but let them know about the tummy. Probably stupid I know – I don’t know why I find the boob thing so hard to talk about!
My morbid fear of dying under anaesthesia
I don’t know how I’m going to go ‘going under’ for a GA. I’m such a worrier and a pessimist I suspect as the date draws nearer I’ll be beside myself with fear that as I say goodbye to my family before the op that I might never see them again. I know the risks are low but imagine dying during an elective operation like this! I love them all so much, I can’t bear the thought of being apart from them, and I want to be there for them until I’m old and grey and READY to go, not before! I pray God will look after me during this time and heal me quick!

adding some pics - to show that after I lost the baby weight there was a muscly little person under there after all...but I can't suck in this belly the whole time. Need to breathe! Once I lost the breastfeeding boobs my shape really became weird - flat chest and pointy pot belly with outie umbie... choosing clothes is tricky.

PS says no lipo - maybe this will reduce recovery time?? But then again adding BA to the mix probably cancels out the recovery benefits of no lipo. Ah well..

I'm totally freaking out! Surgery is tomorrow. I'm still coughing (have been for a week) and I'm terrified I'll split everything open!

Update on the gorgeous husband - he has rearranged everything and in fact is able to drive me there tomorrow. Phew. I was being brave but inside I was a little forlorn at the idea of going there on my own.

I'm so super scared! If it wasn't for the fact that work is still completely crazy and I have a teleconference at 7:30am tomorrow, the morning of my surgery (which is in the afternoon), I'd be catatonic on the floor by now. I'm so afraid that I've made a terrible mistake doing this op, that I might die, that I might have bad results, and especially that my cough is going to ruin everything. The surgeon may cancel me based on the cough - which would be totally fair but SOOO much organization has gone into getting me to this operation tomorrow... It would be incredibly disappointing not to go ahead. Argh - I'm such a mess!

Still haven't told my mum, sisters or best friend about the boobs. I may be delusional but I'm wondering if I can get away with it. I hope the surgeon doesn't give me enormous whopper boobs that look really obvious!

Well happy healing all you ladies on the flat (or bumpy) side, I'll be with you tomorrow...