Feeling Nervous, Yet Relieved to Begin the Explant Process - Marina Del Rey, CA

I've been thinking about it since the day I came home with 34DDD's. And two years later I am not afraid to admit it.  I hate them. I've always hated them, and I cannot wait to have my breast implants removed from my body. 

My journey started 2 years ago, and at the time I was struggling with a body stretched out by weight fluctuations in high school and college. I lacked fullness in my breasts and I had stretch marks that hindered me from wearing anything remotely low cut. I thought that perhaps implants would help and that they would make me feel better about myself. So when I felt ready, I consulted with a "celebrity Dr." in Beverly Hills to discuss my breast augmentation. I explained that I was looking for a more natural implant and size. I was a 36A (barely A really), and I only wanted to go up to a full B cup. I was concerned that a larger sized implant would make me look "fat" and explained that I simply wanted to fill up my cup size and not accentuate it. 

I made the appointment following my consult and a couple weeks later went in for the surgery. Immediately after having the surgery I commented on the size. The dr proceeded to tell me that he made me a C cup instead since a full B wasn't as "noticeable". And well I was concerned, but he was the expert, and I was still groggy from the anesthesia. 

During my post op visits I again commented on the size, but the dr reassured me that it was just the swelling. So I sucked it up and I continued with my weekly post op visits with the dr. But then, about 2 months later, the oddest thing happened... I got the Chicken Pox. Yes, as a 28yr old adult I contracted the virus. Having not had it as a child I was always aware that it would be possible. But I didn't really believe that I'd ever get it. Unfortunately it happened, and it had me bedridden for weeks. During that time, I was unable to make my weekly postop visits to the PS. 

The irony is that my Beverly Hills PS never actually reached out to me to find out why I was missing my scheduled appointments. Nor did the office ever call to reschedule. I felt very disposable at that point, and once I recovered from my stint of the chic pox, I made a conscious decision to not go back to that particular PS until they reached out to me (which as it turns out, was never). 

And thus, I spent my entire first year in bed sick or out of bed ashamed at how large of a size I was. I decided that in year two I'd have a more positive outlook on it. I'd buy clothes that fit better and I'd learn to live with my decision to get the implants. And I'd start by getting new bras that fit my size. 

So with conviction I walked into Nordstrom to buy a new set of bras. I was looking through the 36Cs when a salesperson asked me if I needed help. She asked me my size and then suggested I get measured. I decided why not... but to my horror (yes horror), I was measured to be a 34DDD. I knew I was large, but that moment confirmed it for me. I was so skeptical that I even asked her to bring me all of the other sizes from a C cup to DDD. And to my dismay, it was the DDD cup bras that fit the best. I have to admit that it was that moment that really pushed me into looking into an explant. That was the moment that I found the reviews about explant on realself. 

And just last month, I decided to reach out to the PS in BH who did my original surgery. After all he did give me DDDs when all I wanted was a full B. Only problem is that when I did reach out, i was never contacted back. Imagine that. Perhaps an explant wasn't part of that dr's expertise.  Now don't get me wrong, the actual implants did look nice... They were just not what I wanted. And that's the only reason why I'll refrain from including the PS's name here. 

So I turned to another dr in Marina del Rey, who I just consulted with today. This dr was so accommodating and so honest about the procedure that I can't think of going with anyone else. I have yet to hear the exact quote and availability to book the surgery, but after speaking with the dr today I feel more confident now than ever that this is the right decision for me. He actually said that because of my young age, a lift wouldn't be necessary. He's hopeful that my breasts will "bounce back" following the surgery. 

this is where my story ends for now...

I hope to provide an update as it continues. But for tonight I'm going to sleep knowing that I've got a support group right here on realself rooting for me. Thank you for reading this and thank you for the advice and confidence you've already given to me at this point.  Honestly I couldn't have done any of this without you! To be continued...