Think Twice - Madison, CT

I had sub glandular saline breast implants put in at age 23. I had always been small breasted (36A) and thought it would be a great boost to my figure and self esteem.

The Dr assured me that implants were safe and wonderful. I asked to be made a B cup, and during the 'try on' in the office, it seemed about 250-300cc would work, but the Dr explained that he would choose the actual implant size on surgery day.

Surgery went according to plan and was uneventful. I came to find out after surgery that the Dr implanted me with 360cc saline implants 'overfilled' to 400cc. I ended up a very full C cup. I was reassured that going bigger was for my best interests, as going too small would result in me being unhappy and having a repeat surgery to go bigger. I've now come to find out this is extremely common - and in reading women's profiles I know I am not the only one who was implanted larger than planned. Male PS opinions of what is 'proportionate' seems to differ from what actually IS proportionate.

I eventually got used to the size, but had not envisioned being a large-busted woman. I had BIG boobs. I found that instead of raising my self esteem and improving my figure, I was now top-heavy and eliciting very uncomfortable STARING from men. I started dressing in layers and slouching to hide my huge boobs.

I haven't been able to hug anyone properly with these hard balls in my body for 12 years now. I haven't been able to sleep on my stomach. It makes working out and running awkward - and as someone who is very fit with a relatively low body fat % I realize it looks FREAKISH. Breasts are mainly made up of FAT in nature, so very fit women have small breasts. I watched the Olympics and saw not 1 pair of giant bouncing [RS bleep]. I'm not a [RS bleep] star, and don't want to look like one. WTF have I done to myself? My fake boobs DO NOT match the rest of my physique and are NOT in proportion to nature for my level of fitness.

At age 28 I got pregnant and gave birth to my first child. During pregnancy, and then breast feeding, my breasts literally quadrupled in size. I went from a 36C to an immeasurable size (I estimate EE). They were huge, heavy, painful and hard as rocks. The hard, overfilled saline implants under the breast tissue made breastfeeding more difficult (baby couldnt get as good of suction as they can with squishy real breast tissue) and I believe more painful. As an immature 23 year old, I did not know that womens breasts keep developing through their mid-20s, and change radically during pregnancy.

After having my children, and even after losing my post-baby weight, I settled back to a 36D. So, now I have even huger boobs, and lots of nice loose floppy skin. Another great development is that I have now developed Capsular Contracture in my L boob... The implant is compressing so that the diameter of the L boob is a lot smaller than the R and it sits about 2 inches higher on my chest. I look like a freak, and I'm in pain from the contracture.

Now my only options are thus:

1. Revision implants with much larger implants to fill the loose skin (probably end up at least DD). They will also probably want to implant under the muscle this time, which will involve peeling my pectorals off my rib cage, and cutting the muscle attachments at the sternum - lovely. Of course, since I now have CC my chances of redeveloping CC are much higher. So, maybe I can spend $6k just to have deformed CC breast all over again. And have my pectoral muscles assaulted. And have even freakishly huger boobs. Sounds great. (not)

2. Some sort of lift - with all those extra nice scars and probably loss of sensation. Seeing as I did not have much breast tissue to begin with, I can basically pay $10k to have tiny [RS bleep] again, but scarred up numb tiny [RS bleep]. Sounds great. (not)

3. I can have a removal (explant) without replacement. Basically I can pay $4-7k to have these wretched saline water balloons removed, and just let my poor war-torn boobs settle into whatever state they are left in... Which is certainly a worse state than had I left them alone.

I am going to do #3 - explant. I wish I had just left them alone. There was nothing WRONG with my Pre-implant natural boobs. They were just 'small' which was to be totally expected since I'm an athlete and am not fat. They were cute. After kids, if my breasts continued to develop and went up a cup (as they did) I would have ended with a moderate B cup. I certainly wouldn't have ended up with Capsular Contracture, and the impossible-to-avoid surgery that I face now. And I would have saved myself $10-15k, scars, pain, anguish, shame, unwanted negative 'big boob' attention. I could have occasionally lay on my stomach. My runs ad weight lifting would have been less uncomfortable. I could have hugged people I love tightly for all these years without boulders between us.

WTF did I do to myself? Any girls on here interested in Implants, please check out explant (removal) reviews. I am not alone. SO MANY women with implants end up hating them, having problems, and repeat surgeries. If it isn't broken, consider not 'fixing' them. I wish I had just fixed my own self image instead of trying to 'fix' my boobs. There was NOTHING wrong with my boobs. They were cute. NOW, because of implants, there is a lot wrong with my boobs that ONLY surgery can fix - and cant really fix anyway. I kick myself in the ass for doing this to my body.