I've spent a year on realself reading reviews and...
I've spent a year on realself reading reviews and building the courage to share my story. Im 32, 5"8 and 75ish Kg with no kids. I have always had a large chest I literally went to bed one night and the next day...kaboom!! By the age of 16 I was wearing a 44K...not fun..at school my nick name was BT (big tits) that did little for my self image. I went to the doctor and was laughed at and told to lose weight...fair enough! So fast forward 5years and 20ish Kg and im a healthy weight, a uk size 12 and still 34F..sigh...l go back to the doctors only to be told "women pay thousands for whay you have for free" I nearly told him to go sit on a sharp stick!! But instead I tried to embrace my boobies get thru uni and enjoy all the free drinks and club entries they provided, all the while I was in agony and embarrassed about how I looked, no one has EVER seen me topless, never! Fastforward 10yrs im now 31 and had enough and definatly wont be told no and by chance my old doc left the practise and I got a fab female doc who listened and understood, within months I had been referred to a surgeon, been assesed and had my funding approved by the NHS...woohoo! And what a relief! I was contacted in Feb with a surgery date 3/7/14 they last week moved it to 3/21/14 and yesterday called to ask if I would like to move it forward to the 3rd..huh?? So there we are...so far Im booked for the 21st and anxiously waiting...woohoo!
As you will probably understand there have been many tears shead in order to share this post. You will see what no one else has...feeling a little down this morning.
12 days to go!
Im on a emotional roller coaster at the moment, going from euphoric joy to the pits of depression. I suffer from a genetic disorder EDS it causes cronic pain, fatigue, hypermobile joints, joint dislocations, slow healing, easy bruising and a whole list of other stuff! My surgeon is very knowledgeable on my condition and prepared. But im not...im scared I wont heal or have the fab results you ladies have because of my condition. Ive had a recurring nightmare in which my incisions wont close. So im trying to distract myself which my preperations
Pain killers- cocodamol 30 / 500
Wedge/ back rest
11 days to go
Perfect example of what Im talking about i dislocated my finger during that last update and posted it incomplete
Ive aready purchased four bras and as soon as my hand cooperates it share photos. Id there anything ive forgotten? ?
As promised the bras I have purchased are
Annette by Renolife Post Surgical Softcup Bra £44.99 for two
La Isla Firm Control Bra £8 each
They look and feel great, soft fabric but with enough support, large thick underband and straps. Ill update and review once ive started using them.
lists, lists, and more lists!
'Im so excited and I just cant hide it im about to loose control and I think I like it'....lol! Ok so ive spent the last couple of days making lists (may fav thing as im OCD) and generally organizing myself. Ill hopefully do my final shop on weds. Im feel sooo happy, today my blood work came back and my Vit D levels are back to normal, wooho! and Ive managed to shead a few pounds in the last week, double woohoo! Last thing to figure out is what ill do with my crazy afro for the duration of my recovery..urm?? All in all a fab day. 'In so excited and I just...' im sure you know the rest. :-D
really productive day!
Ive been so encouraged and motivated by several realself ladies three of whom are being transformed today. I hit the shops hard, new pjs, bathrobe, zip up hoodies, sweat pants, arnica cream and pillules, pillows, bio oil, ice packs, toiletries....I indulged in some real conspicuous consumption today! And i dont feel bad, I feel ready! I guess before now it didnt seem real but having everything set inc booking my taxi for the day of surgery makes it soo real. I even resisted the earge to buy bras...it was so difficult! Instead I wondered around the lingerie dept dreaming of the day I can march in there and grab any style in my size! This so far has never been possible...I wont ever have to got to the super support/scaffolding/ugly and depressing as hell section again! You know the kind of bras I mean ladies?!! The kind where if you got run over you would rather die than let the paramedics cut your clothes off! Lol..bring on the 21st and lets do this!!
Feeling a little under the weather!
My little outing to the shops on Weds really kicked my butt and im still paying for it. My pre existing condition (EDS3) mixed with my time of the month has floored me im in soooo much pain. Ive been awake for hours and cant get out of bed! And my regular meds which are codeine based have stopped me up again and no amount of fibre is helping. I dont think this operation is a good idea :'( if I can't manage day to day life how the hell im I going to manage the recovery from this procedure? I cant walk without crutches so what's going to happen after, when I cant use them? I really didn't think this whole thing through...what have I done!!
All ready I guess...just a waiting game now!
So after my little breakdown yesterday I am feeling better. I received a call from my surgeons office yesterday confirming I was still attending my appointment for surgery on 21st. The timing of the call was funny as I was just considering cancelling but ive cinfurm
Sorry I hit submit...lol I've confirmed now anyway and they asked me again about any medications etc so feeling reassured the hospital is on top of everything. I honestly thought they called to move my surgery again...pheww! I have to to be at the hospital at 8 a.m nil by mouth etc and ill have to be admitted for a few days after surgery so i need to pack an overnight bag for an extended stay.
Today's to do list
•Arrange kitchen and bathroom - get everything at waist height and within reach.
•Pedicure - won't be touching my toes post op.
•Full body wax - I let things slip and now I look like wolverine! Dont want to scare my ps..lol
•Rearrange closet - get all the clothes ill need post op to hand.
•Blitzing the house generally and eliminating and need to stretch, bend or over exert myself post op.
I think that will do for today..;-)
Cannot believe it's almost time!
I have been sooo busy the last few days I haven't been able to update my review. My house is prepped, bags packed and im ready. My awesome best mate is coming with me on the day...he is my rock and has been so supportive throughout this process. Im expected at the hospital for 8am on Fri but I have no idea the exact time ill go in. I saw my fantastic GP yesterday and she prescribed me the Kelocote silicone gel so that has saved me a small fortune as these gels and sheets are really expensive in the uk...yay! also got a few extra gadgets to help me around the house post op a handi grabber, a shower stool for my wetroom, a v shaped neck pillow and hot/cold packs. My plan is for tomorrow to be a chilled day with minimal rushing around...fingers crossed
Tomorrow is the big day!
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the lovely ladies who have supported, encouraged, and generally cheered me up during the last few weeks! I've been overwhelmed by the kindness you've shown myself and each other, I dont think I could have gotten through this without you all. Tomorrow is the big day! I will update my review asap...see you all on the smaller side xxx
scary night massive haematoma and blood clot!
Last night was the scariest night of my life! I had to be rushed back to theatre at 3am this morning, right breast swollen to three times its normal size and as hard aa rock :-( they immediately rushed me down reopened right breast removed a 3lb clot washed it out and located and tied off the vessel that was bleeding. Feeling much better but still quite shaken up ill share the deets about my actual surgery once im a little stronger.
hello from the smaller side!
Its been a difficult time and im still in hospital with drains in each breast. The day of surgery I arrived at 8 a.m was called in put in a gown and surgical stockings, the surgeon came through and marked me up and we had a nice chat about my surgery. She had another surgeon double checked my skin quality due to my Eds and was given the ok to have surgery. I was not called for until 1.30pm making it a long hungry day! Although it's been a difficult journey I don't regret it and cant fault the care I have received.
Im still in hospital but I got my drains out last night....phew what a relief so much more comfortable. That's the good news! Bad news is my hemoglobin was really low so ive had two units of blood over yhe last 6 hrs and im still not able to keep any food or water down. On a happier final note im happy, happy i did it, happy with the results and can already feel a marked difference in my neck and shoulder pain! Although it's been eventful and painful I have no regrets so far. My bras annette by renolife are fantastically supportive, comfortable and easy to get on and off sooo glad I spent the extra and bought them, my ps and nurses have said they're the best bras they've seen, im rough
oops hit submit too early
Im roughly a 34d-dd and the large I bought fits very well.
Im home! yay me!
I was finally discharged today and settling in well at home, it feels so good. My ps has seen the girls today and is very happy with my progress so I had a massive prescription written, dressings changed tgen sent home. I cannot believe it's been a week already. Im still sore especially on the right and they are both still quite swollen but im really happy with how they look and how my neck and shoulders feel. Ill update photos later feeling quite tired right now.
slightly oozing but doing well
So I enjoyed a fantastic weekend with my family. Mum, sisters and nephew all came over lots of laughs. Had to have a little help in the shower etc but otherwise doing ok pain wise only major issue is constipation...sigh but ive dropped the codeine for oxycodone and that seems to be improving things, I am oozing quite alot on the right breast right at the junction of the incisions under the breast so im using liners to absorb that and letting it air every now and again, the right is also slightly bigger I hope they will even out as the swelling goes down. Everyone thinks the girls look great but I think they're...I dont even know!..sigh...I suppose when the bruising and swelling goes down they'll be prettier. Im still struggling with eating and keeping it down so the hospital kindly sent a prescription for Omeprazole over to my GP which was delivered today I hope this helps because right now I feel more weak from not eating that actual pain from surgery, although I do get the odd zinger which makes me jump. I know I have to take it easy but im probably the most impatient person in the world I just want to be healed already and the girls to look pretty...but this is a marathon not a sprint!
Im worried about my right breat and the hard mass along the incisions im also oozing more yellow stuff and im too scared to go to the doctor incase they say something is wrong, ive already had too much go wrong. My left nipple has no sensation at all which ive read is normal but I feel really sad nothing is going right...am I wrong to want one thing to go right? I don't know what to do and all my helpers have gone back to their lives so ive been on my own all week. Im due to have my dressings changed on Fri but im not sure I want to go or to show them to anyone. Everyone elses results look great, I feel very very sad and I cant stop crying.
Feeling a little better today. Had to take a small dose of painkillers after a failed attempt at driving...didn't make it off the drive way lol...I did go for a short walk in search of cake which totally paid off...yum lemon drizzle cake! Had quite a few zingers especially around the nipple but all in all an okay day :-)
Dressing clinic today
Great appointment at the dressing clinic today, the nurse Diane was amazing reassured me that the hard lumps are slight necrosis and general swelling but there weren't any pockets of blood or signs of further haematoma. I had all my steri strips changed and a new kind of dressing called Aquacel which turns to jelly when moistened and doesn't stick to the wound like gauze does...I had problems with that before...it will be easier to now manage the oozing. Incisions are healing really well especially as I have EDS, nearly zero pain today but I have a high pain threshold anyway just a little stingy when the steri strips came off. All in all an awesome day! Going to start taking Arnica for the bruising and swelling fingers crossed.
Slight opening under the right breast but im on top of it with the new dressing...a little hard for me to look at but at least I know its no big deal. Wasnt able to drive this weekend all the bouncing did me no favors especially as I stopped pain meds a few days ago, so im still taking Arnica and as soon as im mobile ill pick up some Bromelain. :-D
small update today
My nipples are really sensitive to everything showering, clothes temperature although the left is still numb its a really wierd inner sensitivity and along the vertical incisions and each nipple reacts separately one hard one not...not painful but sensitive making me laugh all the time...oh and they are softening and giggling too now :-D
36DD first new bras
I went out for the first time since surgery today, I had to drive with a cushion over my chest its still a bit sore but it was wonderful to be in the real world again. I bought my first sports bras today in a 36DD and its fits perfectly it's like a dream. I cant ever remember being this size or this happy, I even tried on a camisol and was totally blown away it fit! And everything was in the right place. I cant wait to go proper bra shopping. Boobie update the right is still slightly bigger and more swollen than the left and and still oozing. The skin on both is really dry and flaky so im using bio oil to massage them but avoiding the incisions.
Itch, itchy, itching!
Omg I must look like I have lice! Lol and the strange thing is its not the incisions that itch but the rest of the boobie. Bio oil is helping the dryness but ive no idea what to do about the itch...also the opening on the right breast is closing up nicely and changing to a normal colour, I still havent seen my incisions yet as im covered in steri strips still but they look very neat from the gap and what I can see. New sports bra is legendary so comfortable and more supportive than the surgical bra. Ive got a dressing clinic appointment tomorrow so update again after.
Dressing Clinic worried about lump
Ive been for my appointment at the hospital today and saw my incisions for the first time they are so neat and healing wonderfully, obviously the right is taking longer because it had two surgeries. And both are still very swollen. There are a few hard painful spots on the right breast that they are worried about...sigh and a registrar came and had a look, he said its still quite early since surgery and it may just be swelling and scar tissue but he wants me to come back next thurs to check on it. The lovely nurse then replaced all my steri strips and covered the open area with Aquacel. Back home now and going to have to take some painkillers, im feeling quiet sore after all that poking and prodding and a two hour round trip. :-/
sleeping on my back is becoming a pain
So ive been sleeping in bed propped up since I got home from hospital and its literally becoming a pain, my lower back and backside are so sore. Ive also started to roam in my sleep and woke up on my side last night which hurt soooo much! It felt like I had a knife in my chest, I cannot do that again! This weekend I got my first period since surgery and the girls have swollen up and become super sensitive, the best way to describe it is like stinging pins and needles and really uncomfortable so ive had to start wearing my surgical bras again as they're soft and dont rub. My incisions are doing really well, no new openings and the one existing is closing up well. Im doing well physically but getting really bored of the fatigue, and not feeling myself. The only thing keeping my sanity in tact is my homestudy language course.
four weeks post surgery. wow!
I had my last dressing clinic appointment yesterday I had all the steri strips removed and the girls look great. The nurse was really happy with my progress and how well my incisions have closed, she said I should use bio oil for the next two weeks and then I can start using silicone gel if I want too. This is the first time since surgery that they've been undressed for want of a better word, and I love how they look and feel. My incisions are a little sore I think because they are unsupported for the first time since surgery but otherwise great. Ive been cleared to start building up my exercise...yay! I have an appointment with my surgeon next week it should have been at six weeks but shes so busy we have to do its a week early, I hope she is as happy. The only negative is the bio oil and Cosmopor adhesive dressing caused a reaction and sore under my left breast. Im in love with my new girls!!!
So at last the girls really feel like their mine...sounds strange but with all the aches and strange sensations they felt like a foreign body, not quite part of me, if that makes any sense. The one or should I say three items I bought that have saved me world of discomfort are my bras. Ive tried the ahhh bra which was ok for the first two weeks but wasnt supportive enough for my new 36dd as they started to soften around week three and become quite sensitive. My sports bra was fine from week two when out and about, but very restrictive for all day. My go too bra for all occasions has been my surgical bra, im wearing it as I post this update. Ive worn them since the day of surgery until now Its as light as air..seriously it doesn't feel like your wearing a bra! Its very supportive even now my girls are much less swollen, and softer. The cup adjusts with the swelling and reduction afterwards, but the back and sides are woven differently and offer seam free support. I only really change out of them long enough to wash them...lol Disclaimer: I am not endorsing or selling any product, company or brand all of the above named products have paid a good part in my recovery and I was asked to share my personal experience. :-D
5 Weeks PO! doesn't time fly :-D
I had my first appointment with my surgeon since leaving hospital, and its all good news. My incisions are healing wonderfully dispite my Eds, she was very happy. Ive been cleared to start building up my exercise but no high impact but that suits me fine as my knees and hips dont support running or pounding about. The oozing has stopped and the opening that was has closed. There are a few sutures working there way out of the lefty but no worries im just trimming the ends off as they appear, she did pull one out while I was there but it was completely painless just a little oozing from the necrosis afterwards. I have no pain now just the odd zinger and the incisions at my sides are tender so I still cant sleep on my sides yet but that will come in time. My only complaint is the itching oh my its annoying but so far ive done well not to scratch. The new love in my life is a smoothie maker...loving it and loving my girls, I cant stop looking at them in every reflective surface lol and ive also lost 1kg this week woohoo! Ive also become obsessed with bras and cant stop looking at them online havent purchased any since my sports bras but think it may be time to get a few regular wirefree bras...?? This was definitely the best decision ever just a shame I waited and suffered so long. :-D
yay me! swimwear time :'(
Just a quick update. I went shopping yesterday and tried on a tankini top... with no inner bra or support what so ever! First time since I was 11...yay me! Ive got a few pounds to drop but it still looked great...there were actual tears of joy and I came out of my cubicle and had a strut up and down the changing room. Makes a huge difference from tears of despair and woe. :-D
Kelocote silicone gel
I've started to apply silicone gel to my incisions this week, the brand im using is Kelocote its very easy to apply being a gel and smells pretty good, they say once dried iy waterproof and we can apply sunscreen, makeup etc over it which is good. My only problem is applying the right amount, I would say less is definitely more otherwise it never dries, I put too much on the first time and ended up a sticky mess and had to reshower because hours later it still wasnt dry...lol. Now ive got it right and I dont know if its in my head but my incisions are looking better already...ill keep you all updated :-D
9 1/2 weeks and doing well!
Hay ladies ive been dealing with alot recently and got behind on my updates...sorry. im currently doing really well and feeling great, I have had a few ups and downs tho, firstly ive had to stop using the silicone gel as I was very allergic and had a nasty reaction...word to the wise, do a patch test before applying all over...so im sticking with bio oil. Another down was the naughty right breast started producing pus from the incisions around the nipple I was really freaked out but a week of careful management sorted that out. My scars are doing really well, not so pink and tender although the one's under the breast have become quite dark but they are hidden so no big deal. Ups are im happy with the shape and symmetry, neck pain has disappeared and standing taller and straighter and not having to constantly fix and adjust myself in my clothes...yay! If I could change anything I think I would have liked them to be more lifted. It could just be in my head, ive never had normal looking breasts so only have others to compare to but to me they seem a little droopy still, im probably just being crazy..lol
Sorry ladies don't know where my head is.. lol.. I forgot the photos and its 10 1/2 weeks now not 9! Duh...