18 days PO, came to work today

Hello Everyone. I am 43 y/o. My children are 22 and 17. I had both of them when I was much heavier and my "apron" is really gross. I have been thinking about this for a long time, and this web site is truly the most helpful research I've found. All my fears are common and that's so helpful to know.

My plan is to see my PCP in April, get her on board with an panniculectomy (I think my ins co will help w/this), then see a cert plastic surgeon in August to talk about panni and TT and schedule for right after Christmas, 2012.

I look forward to everyones continued support and honesty, you all look amazing.

I find I am reading patient stories for hours on end and that is the only thing that keeps me thinking this is a good idea. Husband is supportive but I am, of course, scared. I'm wondering...I'm 10 months away from a TT, have not even gone for a consult yet but I have made some calls. Any one in New Hampshire that they would recommend? I look forward to making many friends on real self over the next year. I am going to do this!

Well now I'm pretty committed to doing this. BTW, I'm 5'4" and around 200 lbs. I have to believe that 15 lbs of it is in this nasty apron. I am trying hard to drop another 10 lbs by December, that's quite achievable. I exercise regularly and am just at a point in my life where yes, I would love to be lighter, but I know my lifestyle and habits are stable. I have good self confidence, a good job, and it's just time to do this for myself. I have a few more years before starting to go through the "change" and want to look good while I still feel somewhat youthful, if you know what I mean. I am looking forward to my first consultation and hope I can find a PS that I like. I have identified 3 of them, 1 in Manchester, 1 in Concord, and 1 in Lebanon that I'll meet with. It's pretty slim-pickins up here in New Hampshire. Right now it sounds/looks like the one in Manchester is the best fit for me, but that is a 2 hour drive. Insurance is not going to cover, but at least now I know and can start saving. I have found some ladies with very similar body types on real self and I cant tell you how motivating it is. I really like the fact that everyone is honest and supportive, that means a lot to me. After reading so many of the stories, I begin to recognize personality types and it's so funny when I read something and just burst out laughing thinking "that's exactly what I would say!" I feel like an odd duck, in that a web site alone could keep me hanging on and give me enough motivation to do this, but it's true. I haven't found anywhere else that has provided as much information and helpful feedback. Especially important is knowing that being scared s*&%.less is very normal. Every time I start thinking I could possibly back out of this because of my fears, I just have to get on here and read and I feel better about it. I work in a professional office setting, and have told only a couple of my closest friends (who happen to be co workers). Although they say that they'll support my choice if it's what I really want, I can tell they think it's unnecessary and dangerous. I even undid my pants and said "See??? Look at this thing!! This is disgusting!" I think they were surprised but oh well, I find that I do need support and feedback from my friends that I'm not crazy by doing this. My mom is a snow bird and will be back North soon. I plan on talking to her this summer and asking if I can fly her home (she'll head south again in October) to help my husband for a week when I do this. I don't think she's going to be terribly impressed or supportive but maybe I'll be surprised. Every day now, I'll go to do something simple, like stand up, or sit down, or get in the shower, and I'll think "God, in 9 months I wont be able to do even this!!" I think a lot about activities that I really enjoy that will be on hold for a couple of months and it sucks. It's stupid, because 9 months is a long time away and I dont like that I'm consumed with thinking about this but, I suppose it's normal. I'll be in the store, and walk by a cute outfit and think "You know...next year at this time I'll be able to wear that with pride!" That is such a good feeling.