Waited 18 Years...- Glendale, CA

Yesterday I had my consult with the doggie oncologist. She didn't think waiting two weeks to take action on my charlie girls cancer was a big deal. We went over all our options and prognosis, none are good really but her pain is well controlled right now with NSAID drugs. When we get back home from surgery (one week post) were having a CT scan done to look for any other mass's, if we don't find anything then we'll be proceeding with an amputation and follow up treatment that will vary depending on the type of cancer found. 90% chance is its Osteosarcoma, which is a nasty aggressive cancer. Well, probably do a mix of traditional and holistic medicine to get her through this and healthy. Long term survival rate is very low, most make it 1 year, some two, there are only a handful who ever find long-term remission but If I have two more good years with here, it will be worth it. I won't be selfish through this process, my GR has given me much more than I ever have her and I need to see she's happy through this process or we'll look to other options.

I have an amazing husband (of 2 years) we've been together five but before him I ended up in a lot of dysfunctional relationships, she's always been there for me and loved me unconditionally. I think she's actually taught me a lot about love, acceptance, compassion and humility, sound silly a dog can do all this but she has. It's so unfair these perfect beings of love only get to be with us this short amount of time.

Now about the surgery.... I'm nervous, the puppy issue has taken my mind off it a bit but still nervous, more about the BA than the rhino, I think because I have some worry about size and some worry about possible complications. I actually feel pretty at peace with the rhino, I think because I know my dr is so darn good. I know a lot of girls experience some depression after cosmetic procedures, due to all sorts of things, healing, lack of normal lifestyle, questioning of decisions , etc. I have had some periods of depression in my life and dealt with SAD for a few years but have learned how to manage it will without the use of drugs. I do have some concern about how my mood will be during the healing process, especially since I feel like I'm not starting from a good place. I was great till this cancer thing and its just really gotten me down, I need to stay positive and hopeful, both for myself and my Charlie girl (not to mention my husband), I remind myself of that every 10 min and most the time I do well with it.

Weird thing I noticed the other day, when I put my arms above my head my breast crease's look asymmetrical, the right looks much lower. When my arms are in a usual position to my side my breasts are pretty darn symmetrical, the right is just a tiny bit lower but so is that shoulder from snowboarding and biking accidents, but with hands above head; big difference. I'm a little worried this could be a potential sign of additional asymmetry after the BA, I know this is odd and a little random but if anyone has thoughts on this, please let me know, I may email the doc...

I drive to LA this next Wednesday morning, feeling fairly prepared, I just need to grab a few items at the drug store. Thanks for reading my post and happy healing/researching to you all.

I'm 10 days out and although nervous and excited, I've received some very sad news that has me totally distracted. It looks as though my 11 yr old GR has bone cancer, I'm feeling heart broken, she's been like a little sister and best friend for so long. I know many might say 11 is a good age for a GR but she's perfectly healthy and happy other than this, I'm actually feeling angry, not directed at anything other than ... cancer I guess. She has her first consult with an oncologist this Thursday but I have been researching diagnosis, treatment etc for four days now. All docs even holistic recommend amputation of the effected limb (thats where it usually strikes first) then chemo etc, after that life expectancy is not so good, usually about 1 year but a handful have been cured entirely and there are some that have lived 2-5 years. It looks like amputation has to happen pretty quickly, which I am having such a hard time with, the limb effected is functioning at 90%.

Figuring out how to travel to LA and also have her procedure is taxing to say the least, it looks like she will be overnight anywhere from 1-3 nights then will need lots of care after. I'm wondering if I can try to postpone this, my husband thinks I should go through with it (procedure, accommodations and flights all paid for) and he can care for her and hopefully drive to LA in a rental car with her 3-4 days after my surgery.... I just can't imagine not being there for her, she adores me and I her.... I also don't know how she'll do in the car, probably fine, it is only 4 hours and she's a very good traveler. Since I am having two procedures (nose and boobies) my recovery won't be easy and I won't be able to help her get around the first few weeks which she will need, again.. my husband is their but he is so very busy at work, I don't want to jeprodize that or leave her feeling abandoned or scared... This is just going to be the longest week, I guess I'll know more Thursday.... keep her in your thoughts, she's the sweetest most perfect furry ball of love you'll ever meet, I know its not relevant to my procedure but I'm attaching a pic of her and her little brother (5 lb. min-pin chihuahua) this is just a few months ago so you can see she still looks like a pup.

Today I got my bloodwork done, I don't expect any surprises there. I have moments of nervousness but mostly I am excited and ready to do this! I feel like I have been anticipating it for so so long. I purchased airfare for my mom and husband this weekend, I have a little cottage about 12 miles from the hopsital rented for 8 days while I recover, I'm feeling pretty good, I'm actually having more second thoughts about the BA then I am the Rhino but that too I'm feeling good about, just lots of little questions I need to get answered, I'll save that for the BA board though...

I'll try to post a few more pics this weekend, I've had a lot of people suggest that I need to take lots before and lots after to document the healing process and change.