8 months p.o., seeing the wonderful "big picture" and loving it!

After years of of taking care of others, both professionally and personally and having people continually tell me that I should "do something" for myself, I did! 6 weeks ago I had a BL/TT. I thought about and had saved money from the household/grocery budget for 3 years before having my surgery. I wasn't really afraid of anything much more than how dirty I knew my house would get during my recuperation. Oh, that's not true, I also worried about how my friends and family would take my decision to do this...so I didn't tell most of them. I mean, I have always preached to "be happy with who you are" etc, and plastic surgery screams, "I am not happy with who I am." Actually I was just not happy with how I looked.

Going into the PS office was a real trip as most of the people who work there look like Barbie dolls...perfect in every way. I can see how people get hooked on cosmetic surgery. I was very conscious that my lifetime of living and working outside showed on my face and that as I have aged "sturdy" had become "chubby" somehow and I didn't like it. Before the 6 hour surgery my husband just couldn't believe how rock solid my BP was. I really wasn't afraid of going under and I trusted my Dr. implicitly. I knew it was going to be painful afterward but was totally ok with it. I like to think that I am a tough old broad.

Now, 6 weeks post op, I confess I am getting really tired of the twinges, pain, limitations, and fatigue. I have worked hard at getting back on my feet. I am not superwoman, just a housewife and mother of many children. I may not have had to go "back to work" 2 weeks after my surgery but surely did have to get up and clean the house, do the dishes, let the dogs in and out, pick up kids from the bus, fix supper, run laundry etc. etc. so even though a stay at home mom I wasn't exactly eating bon bons while watching Lifetime! hmmm I detect a bit of emotion at that statement! :0)

I am now walking 30 minutes, at the slow pace of 2.5, on the inclined treadmill every day. The house is almost spotless, as usual. The meals I am cooking for my large family are above average for me. I am counting every calorie that goes into my mouth and have lost 13.6 pounds. I started lifted small weights for my arms last week.

I studiously avoid complaining of pain to anyone, (seriously, my pretty little breasts are bugging me to death!) but somedays I really feel the "pull" and yesterday I yelled at one of my dogs. In other words, I am really trying hard to keep it together right now. My Dr. is a doll, always polite and respectful, and his nurse is a sweetheart, so please don't get me wrong on this. They are running a business...a very lucrative business, and it is all business, I understand that. I have actually gotten most of my information, reassurance and encouragement from this website. Probably a personal problem on my part but I feel silly for asking questions at the Dr.s office. The answer is always either, "never heard of that issue before","most people are up and back to work in a few weeks," or "everyone feels that way." It seems less humiliating to just research it myself.

As I put the before and after pics on this site/link/blog thingy I confess that I am a little disappointed at how I look. In my head I thought I looked slim and trim, but pictures don't lie. I am not sure that the foto's came out very clear so will adjust it later if I can figure out how to. I am not sorry that I had the surgery, but at this point I don't think that I can truthfully say that I am "glad" that I did. I am confident that these feelings of uncertainty will pass and surely, surely, surely do appreciate all that I have read on this website...which is why I am posting my thoughts here as well. Bless you all for sharing, you have been a huge help to me!