Happy to Be Myself

I just had my silicone implants removed after...

I just had my silicone implants removed after having them for only 19 months. I have chronic lyme disease and my symptoms of fatigue and neurological difficulties increased greatly after implantation. I never felt comfortable with my size either, only wanting to be a C again after a lift, but becoming a D.

4 days post surgery

I'm doing great 4 days out, so happy to be clear headed now, did not need pain meds after day 2! I'm already filling out, I can feel it under my compression bra and that gives me hope! Mainly, I'm still very happy with my decision and want to offer support to all of you considering reclaiming your body. xo

5 days post explant

So, I got brave and posted these pics to encourage? all of you. They do not look good, so wish I had stopped at the original lift I had 2 years ago. However, I clearly have breast tissue to work with in a good bra and I'm sure they will "fluff" over the next months to a year. Did others experience the wrinkling at first? Thanks ladies, don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to be rid of the implants and guess what? No tacchycardia since they came out! Imagine that.

Feedback from others who have explanted

Just curious to hear about others, similar size, and how they think I'm doing at 5 days. I was orginally a 34C after 4 pregnancies and breastfeeding so lots of stretch marks. Did a lift, became a 34B and a few months later opted for an augment, 250cc and became an unhappy 34D with lots of accompanying health problems. Only had them in 19 months. Doctor says they haven't stretch out much??? They look like they have, and I might not need another lift. What do you all think?

Need support!!!!

Feeling really down tonight, sad about the way I look now. NOT unhappy about explanting, just sad that this is what's left. I know it will improve but i think I will need a lift and there just isn't much "nice" skin left with all the stretch marks from breastfeeding. And, why are they so off to the sides??? They were more centrally, normally, placed prior to any of this. Very sad :(

Still oozing at 1 week?

Anybody know if it's normal for the incision under breast to still be oozing at 1 week? It's not bright red, but after shower a little red blood.

10 Day Post Op Pics

I can't see the pics I'm posting so sorry if any duplicates or unnecessary pics. Not feeling like I look much better? Sides are full and I could be happy with that. Insides are empty and my breasts seemed "pushed" off the to sides. I don't know what that's about. It is common after implants? Does it have to do with placement of the implants? Hope they will correct more over time. I need and appreciate support. Thanks.

Day 12, Progress!

I woke up early, after wearing a "pull-over" sports bra to bed for the first time. I was amazed when I took it off that I can actually see progress! Things pulling back together somewhat. Perhaps it was the bra but I can feel the difference. And, it's a special day for me. 15 years ago today I found recovery from addiction to alcohol, my life is now blessed and free!

Day 18, making progress? Feed back on pics please!

Wanted to update you all. 2nd day sleeping with no bra! I was concerned, but my incisions weren't healing as well without a little air, and this has definitely helped. Still concerned that the scars will not be flat, but a call to ps office assured me that if they were not, they could be easily "resurfaced" under a local at some point. Can't even think about more surgery right now!!!
The good news is I think they are resuming a more normal look and that there is hope they will begin to fluff. Also still very happy to have them out and I think they will look very nice in clothing once I can again wear a normal bra. I just ordered (better late than never!) 2 Marena bras after reading how they still give you cleavage and the ability to wear lower cut shirt, but still offering the compression.
The not so good news, the surgery itself, and/or perhaps the silicone disruption, or stimulation from the surgery, have activated my lyme disease a little more. Have had to rest, rest, rest which is difficult in that I'm moving in one week.
I still have significantly less arrhythmia since explant, so I'm very convinced that the silicone is indeed very toxic! More so for me, with a chronic illness.

My next step in becoming me will be to give up hair color which makes me ill as well. I may try organic first, but truthfully would like to be ok with a little gray hair! Health over looks ladies! Right?
I would appreciate feed back on the pics!

23 Days post op....very sick :(

Good news first! My incisions are finally closed up! Yay, no more pus, no more open spots. I feel like I've finally turned a corner there!

Bad news. About 9 days ago I developed severe diarrhea and yesterday was diagnosed with Claustridium Difficile, or C Diff. which I got from the antibiotics they gave me after surgery. Really scary stuff, it's a bacteria that can take over if you kill off to many good bacteria with antibiotics. Highly contagious and serious. Really bad timing because I have to move in 2 days, can't accept any help from friends or movers because of the contagion issue. And I am scheduled to fly 6000 miles home to see family for a month in less than 3 weeks! Eeek, not sure how I'm going to get through this alone. I've lost 10 lbs since surgery, and I didn't have much to lose. Ok, back to gratitude! I'm grateful for a place to come to online for support! And I still know the explant was the right thing. DO NOT GET IMPLANTS!!!! So not worth what I've been through and apparently it isn't over yet. Praying for all you ladies out there with me on this journey back to our true selves! xo

4 weeks post up tomorrow!

I feel like this is becoming part of my past, the implants and operations, and that is a great feeling! I'm still a little bruised, and incisions are not quite healed but getting there!

I haven't been able to fully enjoy this because of getting so deathly ill from the antibiotics for surgery. Still very sick and I had to move over the weekend. I refused help because what i have, c diff, is very contagious. Monday was the worst day ever! Ended up passing out at my new place, thank God I didn't hit my head. Did nothing but rest yesterday, had a friend drop off food in my garage.

Praying for healing, meditating on healing intentions, and relying on support from you all! I travel 6000 miles in 2 weeks, to stay for a month on a lake near 2 of my sons, with my daughter in law, daughter, and grandson joining me. Looking forward to my new role of allowing others to take care of me, instead of vice versa!

I will post pics on the 20th, one month post op, to encourage you all.

Thanks for being there for me!


One month ago today, wow! Lots of change, healing is steady now and it feels good to not worry so much anymore about my incisions. Unfortunately, I was just starting to recover when I came down sick and still struggling with that now so can't say I feel great overall. However, very excited about the new/old me and inspired to be more myself in other ways!!! Going with organic, non toxic hair dye next, or maybe even letting gray come through, eek!

So here are pics, including one in pre-lift, pre-implant bikini top. I feel like I was more full before all the surgeries, way too full and artificial looking after implants, but I know final results are months if not a year away.

Bare in mind as you look at pics, I'm a 52 year old mother of 4, grandmother, and have had stretch marks on boobs since age 27 due to becoming huge when pregnant and breastfeeding. I just have that kind of skin and they are something I will have to live with. The implants made them fuller so less wrinkly, but the stretch marks were still there.

I hope my journey helps to inspire others to healthy, whole natural bodies! xo

Freaking out a little!!!

Freaking out now that I've posted my pics and looked at the closely. So many stretch marks! Anybody else have this problem? They are not from implants, they are from having bad skin genes and breastfeeding when they got huge. The implants filled them out so that they weren't as noticeable. Trying to love my stretch marky boobs!

Breasts pushed to the sides from implants?

It seems like my breasts are not positioned normally, since the implants, like they placed them more toward the center of my chest, pushing the natural breast tissue off to the side, and it seems to remain that way, at least at 4 1/2 weeks. Has anyone else had this happen? Is it due to the particular way the implants were placed? I'm going to email original ps office and ask about placement, and get my old pics.

My 1st Real Post Op Bra!!!!

5 weeks today! I bought a couple of VS wire free bras, on sale, to get me through the times when I simply need to wear something that doesn't totally flatten me out! I'll wait on buying more until I'm more sure of my ultimate size. It feels so good to look feminine, know it's all me, and to be out of the sports bras for a bit! They are hurting my shoulders, too tight maybe? Anyone else with that problem?

Follow up appt today with Surgeon

Hi all, Just had follow up with ps, I am 5 weeks 1 day post op. All looks fine, still some bruising which he says means I'm still swollen. I had to pry it out of him, but he said mine implants were placed under the muscle and that the pectoral muscle had been "released" which means cut. I'm so upset by this, but recognize that I have to take responsibility for not asking more questions before implants. Also, when I asked, he said he was not able to get all of the capsules out, because they were tissue paper thing and were attached to my rib cage. He left about 5% on each side because to scrape more might have caused a pneumo thorax. I am glad that he was carefully, but disappointed that not all of the capsules were removed because of my health issues which may be related to silicone. He also said in 9 months we would have a better idea if I would benefit from another lift. Ugh, can't imagine more surgery right now. Ever. But I'm happy to be free of the fakes, and I LOVE that I am not getting as much attention for my looks. Tells you how much of that was for my boobs, that's pretty disgusting and sad. Personally, that's how I feel.

Silicone Toxicity?

It just occurred to me that maybe the reason I've had horrible GI issues for 4 weeks now is the partial capsules the ps left in me? I wonder if opening them up allowed the silicone that had bled into them to escape into my body. Any thoughts?

Still very sick

Hi all,
Don't want to be a downer but I'm still very sick, 4 weeks horrible GI issues, no relief. Supposed to fly 6000 miles to see family tomorrow. My colonoscopy was normal, biopsies not back yet though. Asking for prayers!
Also a question, some women have posted they are using or going to use silicone strips to reduce scar visibility. Is anyone concerned about the silicone getting into your system? I mean, that's why I had mine out, to get rid of the silicone. Just curious.
All my best to all of you and thanks for your support during this journey! If I am able to make my trip, I will be gone 4 weeks with little internet so I'll check in when I can! xo

Had to cancel my trip :(

Very sad. Had to cancel my trip. Became too dehydrated and my potassium level dropped. Had IV fluids today and results from colonoscopy show I have collagenous colitis. Have started on new med for it, praying it works!
I think it was all triggered by explant surgery. This is a condition I have had, but it's never been this severe and I thought it was gone.

Thanks for everyone's support about GI issues, healing issues and everything else. I will get well, I promise!


More acceptance

My truth is that at almost 7 weeks I look worse. I have lost 20 lbs from my GI issue, become malnourished and reacted to the steroids to treat me. Not a great time to be looking in the mirror! Empty, wrinkled, deformity is what I see now and it's sad. With my chronic health issues I cannot afford another surgery. In fact, I think the explant started a chain of events to lead me to this level of illness today. And I only wanted to feel better. Perhaps that will come. I belong to a program that states "Acceptance is the key to all our difficulties." So, true. I love my sad, sick little self so much now and grieve the pain I have put myself through with hope for a healthier future. Thanks all for everything. My daughter arrives soon to help me make a decision about my health, may need to leave my beautiful island for better health care. But love, spirit and grace are everywhere. Keep working toward truth!

Moved to CA for medical treatment

So my update is I had to move 2 days ago to CA from Maui because my medical condition has deteriorated so much. My daughter came to rescue me and bring me here where I can get better care. It's all been so traumatic, 20 lb weight loss since the explant, 8 weeks ago. I look and feel horrible, scars aren't nice at all but I'm just focusing on surviving at this point. I will try to post pics (hopefully they won't be too depressing) in 3 days, my 2 month mark. Thanks for all the support here and remember, explantation is/was a great health choice, it just happened to trigger my chronic illness issues. xo

2 Months Post Explant

So, have lost lots of weight due to illness so the "fluff" fairy did not appear this month! Pretty sad looking but I have bigger concerns right now with my health. I'm still very glad to not have the implants any longer, VERY GLAD!
Maui Plastic Surgeon

Dr. Yu met with me several times to answer questions and discuss several options regarding my dissatisfaction with my implants. While he did not agree that the silicone likely caused my increase in physical illness, he agreed that if I felt at all concerned about that possibility, the best thing to do would be to remove them. I am 2 days post surgery so cannot speak to the outcome as of yet. Update: 6 weeks post op. I am very happy I had explant, however I had to ask specifically for capsulectomy and at one month followup questioned Dr Yu further only to find out he did not remove 5% of capsules because they were so thin and adhered to rib cage. This was a medical judgement call I realize, yet I am disappointed as I wanted anything with any possible toxicity removed. Also disappointed that I was not told this after surgery. He and his staff have been kind and helpful in other ways, and I appreciate his assistant Jamie so much. They were not dismissive of me or my concerns at followup I'm happy to say.

4 out of 5 stars Overall rating
4 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
4 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
4 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
4 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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Hi maui! Haven't heard from you for awhile and I'm getting a little worried. I hope you're getting better and just don't have as much time to be on here. I haven't been gaining any weight either, maybe since I quit eating meat almost entirely and I have been juicing at least once a day I found one that is my favorite with beets, carrots, apple, orange, celery and a little ginger root. I can actually feel the energy after drinking it. But I've stocked up on organic fruits and veggies to try different ones. Thank you for getting me started in it, my husband even bought me a better juicer. I still haven't really started the eating raw but I did get the book on it, takes a lot of ingredients and actually is a lot of work. Simpler to just put together a plain vegetable soup actually. Let me know how things are with you...miss hearing from you. :)
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Thank you! Busy moving into new apartment today. Still sick but better and found a Lyme disease expert here so looking forward to getting the help. I hope I can start juicing again once my stomach is a little better. Shipped my juicer here from Maui! You are sweet to check on me. Xo
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Good for you! A new place to live and a new start! Sounds like things are looking up, and your juicer too!! Happy for you Maui!
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Have been reading your posts, and firstly, I am sorry to hear about all that you have been enduring. For what it is worth, I think your outlook has been so positive throughout all that you are going thru and have such appreciation for your spirit. Facing a removal due to silicone ruptures after having implants for a wonderful 37 years, is going to be a life changing experience. But I am 69 and life looks considerably different today than when I was 31! I felt very deformed from nursing my daughter, and did the surgery to make me have better esteem. Now. I worry about illness and foreign matter. You look wonderful and best of all--- you are on a good side.
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Thank you so much. Attitude is everything! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It is life-changing, and not without difficulties but it's worth it, a positive step toward health in the long run. xo
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Hey..i think they look good. You had them in for a long time, and didn't have a lift either..Really they look good...and natural!! Don't see any scarring at all...xx
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Hi Maui, I think you look damn good after all the struggles with health and weight loss. Your core health is first and foremost, and when your feeling up to it you can focus more on getting the girls to look there best through skin treatments (all natural), exercises, and diet supplementation. I am actually surprised you look this good after all you have been through. xoxox
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Mine are not the same either but I think yours look great Maui!! And they're a hell of a lot bigger than mine too! If I raise my arms they're totally flat!! TOTALLY! You look good so start eating, can you eat ice cream! I've been eating it to try and gain my weight back and I gained one pound!! We love you!! Take care and as they say walk gently!
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So glad you are gaining back weight! And thanks for the support. They do not look great, imo, but it's what it is. I went to doc yesterday to start getting treatment here in CA so on the right road!
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What are they trying hon?
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So far just gave me fluids and electrolytes, reviewing records and making referrals to GI, Neurology, cardiology and infectious disease. It's kind of complicated case.
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That's a good place to start. Better than them giving you a whole slew of drugs without knowing what they are dealing with! :)
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I am just so sorry to hear you are still not feeling well. Good that you are back in the states where hopefully you will get the help you need. I hope you feel better soon. I bet when you regain your health you will feel better about your explant results too. I am that way when I am ill everything seems negative and off kilter. Wishing you better health soon
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Also I meant to add that I thought you looked great!
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Thanks so much! I know I will feel better soon and then everything will feel brighter. Trying to decide whether to use silicone scarguard treatment. I mean that's why I had them out, the silicone, but my scars look horrible.
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Are they infra mammary? I had scars from where they put the toxic balloons in but I used mederma for several months and that helped.
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I don't know what that means. They are under the breast, in the crease. One looks way worse than the breast lift/implant scar ever looked. I don't know what happened, except that he maybe had to reach further for the capsule? I'll post pics in 2 days. What are Mederma's ingredients? Anything toxic?
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Yes that is Infra mammary. I am not sure about the mederma ingredients. I know that now you can get it without a prescription. I will ask my ps about it next week when I get my explant and let you know what he says
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Thank you. I'm trying hard to do without chemicals as they make me ill. I was so sick after coloring my hair last time, couldn't drive home from the salon. Here comes the gray!!! Lol. It's better to be healthy than beautiful.
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The active ingredient is onion extract. As far as "conventional" products go, it's not too bad - but if you are a real organic "purist" then you might object to the ingredients. The stuff really works though, lol.
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Onion? In Mederma? That's cool! I'm going to return the other stuff, I may try that. That is when I can get to the store. Still not driving. Thanks for checking for me!
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Maui, I have found the ingredients list for Mederma, but upon researching the contents lists from different sources, they list a variety of theDse things. And the ingredients lists conflict each other. Don't know whats with that, but this is what is apparently in the stuff, and I broke it down for you. I myself don't have a tube to read the ingredients because I make my own scar creams at home because of my daughter's Behcets Diseaase, which as I have told you, is an immune disorder. | The active ingredient in Mederma is #1 Allum Cepa (common onion bulb extracts), just like Luv said. You can buy it as an essential oil. They call it Cepalin (they gave it a fancy name but its from onions!). #2 Allantoin...is present in botanical extracts of the comfrey plant and in urine from most mammals. Chemically synthesized bulk allantoin is used in cosmetic applications as a moisturizer. It helps to increase the water content in the upper layers of dead skin cells, increasing the smoothness of the skin. It promotes cell proliferation and wound healing, is a soothing, anti-irritant, and skin protectant. #3 Hyaluronic acid...aids wound repair by decreasing inflammation, and protects against free-radicals, is used as a humectant, antioxidant, and a stimulating agent for collagen synthesis, and cell proliferation which fights signs of aging. #4 Sorbic acid....from the unripe berries of the rowan tree (Sorbus aucuparia), and is used as a preservative. #5 Xantham gum: is a thickenening agent use is food. It from a variety of source products that are themselves common allergens, such as corn (like cornstartch), wheat, dairy, or soy. People with known sensitivities or allergies to these food products are advised to avoid foods including generic xanthan gum or first determine the source for the xanthan gum before consuming the food. #6 Centella asiaticais... is mildly antibacterial, antiviral, anti-inflammatory and comes from a plant that grows in swampy areas. #7 PEG-4, or Polyethylene.... is just an emulsifier. It is a polyether compound used in medicine to mix them together, which is what and emulsifier is (a mixing agent). #8 Aloe Barbadensis...is aloe leaf juice for anti-fungal and anti-bacterial, #9 Emulsifiers....just a fancy name for a mixing agent. #10 Carrier agents...like natural oils which they don't name, but are just carrier oils! #11 Methylparaben...is a chemical preservative, but Mederma is apparently paraben free now, lol. #12 Colouring and fragrance...to make it attractive to buyers, but do absolutely nothing good for you. #13 Purified water...Yah, ughm, its distilled freaking water! #14 Allantoinis... Are botanically extraced from the comfrey plant and is in urine from most mammalsactive ingredient in over-the-counter cosmetics: a moisturizing and keratolytic effect, increasing the water content of the extracellular matrix and enhancing the desquamation of upper layers of dead skin cells, increasing the smoothness of the skin; promoting cell proliferation and wound healing; and a soothing, anti-irritant, and skin protectant effect by forming complexes with irritant and sensitizing agents) (from , methylparaben (methyl paraben, one of the parabens, is a preservative with the chemical formula. It comes from the methyl ester of p-hydroxybenzoic acid, and is found in several fruits, in particular blueberries, it is an anti-fungal). So there you have it. You can make a scar cream at home with a few ingredients as long as you are not allergic to them, and they do exactly the same thing, from all natural botanical extracts. Its easy and fun. But your feeling so crappy, and it is a bit of work to get the stuff if your not well. I have helped SoonToBe from Dallas with this, and she is going to make her own stuff. I can email you with a simple list, and if you are able to use the all natural ingredients, not allergic to any of them, you can do it. If you are allergic to any of them, there are substitutes. Love you! xoxox
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Wow,thanks for the info! That was nice of you to research it for me! I use essential oils now, doTerra line and have been using Immortel blend on my scars. I just started getting into them when I got sick, my friend on Maui gave me treatments with them, but I haven't been well enough to even research what's in them. Sounds like a lot of chemicals in mederma, so I may avoid it. I would love to hear your recipe for natural creams, for when I'm better. Plus I already have a ton of essential oils from my friend. Thanks again!!!
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Then you probably have half the stuff already. Let me know when you want the info.
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