"The breasts of a 17 year-old!" I swear...that is what he said!- Iowa

I had my initial consultation with the plastic surgeon on Thursday, June 30. After years of thinking about it, I was finally ready. I was nervous that I would not have enough documentation ready for the insurance company. My problem is that I work as a nurse for my primary care provider, so a lot of my discussions with my doctors have happened around the lunch table (we have very few secrets in our office!) I do have some documentation of manipulations to my back and exercises that were given to me, but that was from about 3 or 4 years ago. I took a letter from a previous co-worker/PA and my mammogram reports that described my breasts as very dense and fibrous. I had my approval two weeks later.

I am 40 years-old, have had 4 children, like to try to stand tall enough to be called 5'1" and weigh about 140, with a bra size of a very full 34H. I remember being in 5th grade and being teased that I looked like a boy, but when I started 6th grade they teased me about stuffing my bra! And from then on I have been what some call "blessed" As a teenager, every boy thought I was a brainless tart who adored their drooling. My husband of 21 years, spent our first couple of years together "defending my honor." The best thing in the fashion world that has ever occurred was when they started selling swimming suit tops and bottoms seperately! In the 80's you couldn't buy a size 3 bottom and 13 top, unless you bought two suits.

And I can't decide which is worse, the psychological trauma or the physical trauma. I have not been able to run since I was about 11. I did not participate in sports in school. As an adult it has become increasingly difficult to exercise. I do like yoga, but any cardio exercises are not only painful, but embarrassing to do in front of other people! Mid & upper back pain have been steadily increasing over the last couple of years, and I'm noticing that it is becoming more difficult to stand with straight posture. I have talked about a reduction for years and my husband has always been supportive. However a few years ago he watched some show on cable which showed a reduction and it totally freaked him out. The part about removing the nipple is what bothers him the most. I think he is very nervous about it. I will admit that in my research I did watch several on YouTube and I was a little taken aback at first as well. But it gave me a good idea of what I will be going through and what to expect afterward.

So here I am, one week to go and I'm still ready to do this. The surgery and recovery do not make me nervous. I think I am most worried that something will go wrong and they won't look good, I know it sounds shallow. As ready as I am to get rid of these things, they have defined me for about 30 years. I'm worried I should have lost weight so I don't look fat afterward, as I've always had quite a difference between my breast and my tummy, but I have been calming my nerves with sweets so that weight loss I was hoping for hasn't happened!

I'm hoping to end up a C-cup, but from what I've read some people are either left a little bigger than they wanted to be, or wish they would have had more taken off, so I'm going to be very clear in reitterating that I would rather be a large B than a small D.

Will keep updating as I go along...or as any new thoughts pop into my head. I think everyone around me must be sick of hearing about it, so it was wonderful to find other people who are obsessed with boobs as I have become :-)