Excited, Worried, A Mix of Emotions All at Once! - Illinois

Hi everyone, I am 54 years old, if you could not...

Hi everyone, I am 54 years old, if you could not tell.....I just recently decided to have breast reduction. I along with all of you have had big breasts since being a teen. I was constantly told that I was a "big boned" girl. I have throughout my life had my ups and downs with weight. And sometimes my breasts would decrease in size if I lost enough weight.....but like most people I would gain back what I lost and boom they would return. The past few years, I have been working out regularly and I have been able to improve problem areas, but one area has only caused me to have more self image issues. Everytime I look in the mirror, no matter how hard I work they are the biggest thing that I see. Every top I put on never looks good....When buying dresses I constantly have to get a bigger size to try and fit them in and usually I still need to get an even bigger size...which really is discouraging.

I have been complaining alot about how hard it is to work with them and my husband asked me if I thought I would want to have the surgery. At first I thought... no this is me ....this is how I am....Oh You think I'm Fat.... Then I thought I would go to the PS and see what he said.....then I chickened out....I thought I would be sorry that I wanted to alter my size....but then I would see myself in the mirror and I would be angry that I have to look so darn big.... I am not comfortable with my size breasts...I do not enjoy anything about them....I am really scared, but at the same time I am sooooooo excited to be able to wear a top or dress or anything and not look BIG, just NORMAL. So I did make another appointment and I told the PS my concerns and he said "OH, you want to do this....you will feel so good about yourself." So I scheduled it for June 1st.

I am having my ups and downs with my emotions....I talk alot to my husband who has been a great support now and our whole life together. He says he will love me if I keep them or if I have them redone. But he just wants me to feel good about myself. Happy Wife, Happy LIfe!

So I am going forward with the surgery, scared? You bet....but I want to be normal. I have been working out really hard and I want people to say, wow, you are in good shape...I'm alittle neverous that I will look fatter....but I try not to think of that only that I will look normal and be able to zip and button things.....Do any of you other ladies have the same feelings that I do...where you worried by making your boobs smaller you would look fatter? I hope my self image will improve... that is one fear I have and it makes me rethink my decision to go forward...but I look at alot of your photos and am encouraged with the results. Hopefully I am seeing the right doctor and really should not be seeing a shrink......Am I normal?

I'm also scared of the actual surgery, the scars, the pain. I have read alot of your blogs and I realize everyone is different and heals different. Hopefully I will do well. So I have spilled my guts to all of you.....and I want to thank everyone for various suggestions, I have a list and will use them all...

I'm sorry I do not have photo's, will try and have some taken soon.

Will try and update all on my goofy feelings......I'm sure when it get even closer I will need everyone's support to go forward.

Here's to Feeling Good about ourselves!

Again it does excite me when I think about putting on a top or dress in the size that fits my whole body and not just my boobs....

Well here I am and it is another day closer....I...

Well here I am and it is another day closer....I have not told everyone....I have told my children, sister, but not my mother....do not know how to break it to her...was thinking of just NOT saying....also, there are a few other people whom I have not told...and for some reason have no desire to? I am at peace just hoping I am happy with results.

Helo Everyone, today is June 4th and I am feeling...

Helo Everyone, today is June 4th and I am feeling like myself.....I want to write how the surgery went for me.......

June 1st....Woke up at 5:30 am got ready to go and fixed breakfast for my husband....took a very nice shower. We arrived at the hospital at 7:15 am, they checked me in and I waited a few minutes for the surgical dept to come for me. Once inside they had me change into a gown (lovely) and asked me all the questions again, alergies, etc...The anesthelogist came in and also asked me questions. Then the PS came in....he had me stand up and he carefully marked me for surgery....I told him how nerverous I was about not have any sensation and he told me he could not make any promises...he has done thousands of BR's and that it is his favorite surgery to perform...and I would be beautiful...also that it is a small percentage that do not have sensation...

Waiting in that room for everything to happen was probably one of the hardest times of this....I was very scared and had alot of anxiety...the doctors taked to me and told me to try and relax that this is one surgery that has excellent results and the pain should be tollerable because no muscle is involved...

Then the surgical nurse came for me and off I went...I remember seeing the room and then transferring to the surgical table and the anesthelogist asking me to make sure I was centered on it....I put one arm out and started to put the other arm out and that is all I remember until I woke up.

Upon waking us they, the recovery nurse was asking me from 1 to 10 what was my pain level....It felt like alot of burning sensation and aching. I said about an 8...the gave me pain med's through my IV...after they got it under control I was moved to another area and another nurse monitored me...she was giving me ice chips and orange shebert....I was drifting in and out of sleep....I did not have pain, but I had an extreme headache and was neuseaous. After awhile the tried to get me up, but I felt like I was going to vomit so they let me rest more...I have no idea how long all this was taking...I finally woke up more, but I was neuseous and the room was spinning...They put my close on and sat me in a chair and they removed a patch that was on my neck to prevent neusea but it was making me more dizzy which was making me sick....After of an hour or so of the patch being off I was able to get up and go to the bathroom and then I vomitted alot....and then I was better....finally got to come home....once home I was able to eat and drink , jello, ice water, gaterade, soup. I slept on the recliner for two nights.... I felt better saturday but had a persistant headache and neusea. Sunday woke up with a headache, but was able to walk aroung and went for a long walk in my neighborhood....And then early evening I decided I wanted to try and sleep in my bed. I slept great...kept pillows around me, but there is no way I would try and sleep anyway but on my back....it is too sore to even try....And then today is Monday and I feel like myself I'll say 70 percent.....my chest is starting to itch....I have just been taking sponge baths and putting on clean clothes....I do not see my PS until tomorrow...so I still have on the surgical bandages he applied and the instructions are not to remove at all.. I am excited to see the result...my family says I really look smalll...and like I lost alot of weight...Today Monday I have been able to stay up more, I'm glad to finally feel like I am over the hill and feeling like myself....Also have swelling but all in all it has not been bad...for me the worst was from the anesthetic....and that is different for everyone...and the nurse and that it is different everytime you have surgery....so it probably was a fluke that I had so much trouble with it....I know next time I have surgery I will be afraid of the anestheia..

Even though I still hae the surgical bandage on them I have a tank top on today and boy I do not feel top heavy! They just feel alittle stiff right now probably because of all the swelling....

It certainly was a long weekend for me...but to tell yo the truth it feels fabulous to not have to think about the surgery....now I am focusing on recovery and I have it all behind me...I am planning of really resting this week, enjoying the down time....will let you all know how it looks tomorrow when he removes the bandage....
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