Emotional Rollercoaster Ride - Houston, TX

This is my first time ever blogging so please forgive me if I do this wrong :) I guess I should start of by telling you a little about myself. I am 26 years old, mom of a 9 yr old and 6 yr old. I am 5'4" and weigh about 145 lbs. I only breast fed my sons for about 2 weeks total. I have been married to my high school sweet heart for almost 12 years now. He is my everything and has been very supportive through out this whole process.

I have always had some difference in breast size but it seems that after my second son was born there was a big difference. 1 breast seemed to almost stay the size it was when my milk came in and the other went back to normal size. I would say that I am an A cup in 1 breast and a B in the other. I am VERY insecure. I do not like for my husband to see me naked and I refuse to look at myself in the mirror. I dont like to wear tight fitting shirts because I feel like people are going to notice.

My husband is amazing, he has been supportive of my decision to have this done. He doesnt think I need to have it done, but for me to feel better about myself he is accepting of it. I am beyond nervous! I guess my main fear is that I will be put to sleep for the procedure and never wake up. I feel selfish, my boys could possibly grow up without a mother all because I want boobs!

I am also afraid of the finished results, the pain doesnt scare me at all. I have been through so much in my life, I know this is just another obsticle that I will and can over come. But I am just worried that they will not look like I want them too. My surgery is scheduled for March 12th and it seems to be going by soooo slow! I am on this website daily reading others stories and most of them seem to calm my nerves. I will not be posting pictures on here simply because I cannot stand to look at myself. I know pictures help, but I just cant do it :/ I would love to hear anyone who has reassuring words for me! Or anyone who has possibly had a BA done in Houston. It is always comforting to hear nice things about the surgeon who is holding your life in his hands!

Well this time next week I will be in SURGERY!!!! Time still seems to be going by soooo slow! I dont think there is much left in my house that I can clean or disinfect lol my sons probably think that I am going nuts. My 9 year old has asked me several times why I am going to have surgery. He is aware that something is going on but I havent explained to him what just yet. Maybe when he is older. I just told him not to worry, mommy is fine she just has to have a little something taken care of. I reassured him that I am not sick and I will be home and back to normal in no time at all. It seems so easy to reassure my son, why cant I convince myself?!? I guess it is only womens nature for us to worry. I guess in my heart I know I will be fine, its my mind that keeps playing tricks on me! I really hope that this week flys by fast! I have my final appointment with my doctor this Thursday at 11am. It is a 5 hour drive for me to my doctor. I will be staying in a Hotel for a couple of days after surgery to recover. I am so not looking forward to a loooong 5 hour drive home after surgery! But I guess that is all part of it! Everyone keep me in mind and I would like to thank everyone that has left me such kind words. It really does feel good to hear words of encouragment at a time like this. Thanks again :)

Tomorrow is the big day!!! I cant believe it got here so fast! I cannot wait to get this surgery over and start the recovery process! I just want to wake up in the OR room and know that everything is okay. First thing I am doing when I get to go home is calling my sons. I am so worried about dropping them off today with their grandma. I know everything will be fine, but its in my nature as a mother to worry about my babies. Well enough about the stressful part of this whole process. I went last Thursday to have my pre-op and also register at the hospital. Discussed some things with my PS, decided to have a slight lift on my right breast due to my size difference. He says that my left breast is an A and my right breast is almost a C, which I already knew thats why im having the surgery :) But to try and get the girls looking as perfect as possible he said I needed to lift the right one so my nipples are both at the same level. Sounds like it makes sense to me. Last thing I want is to FINALLY have the same size boobs and have one nipple looking up and one looking down. I have to admit when he first mentioned the lift I was a little taken back. I knew in the back of my mind it was going to need t be done but for some reason I was hoping he was a miracle worker and could do it without a lift. I had a very long ride home that day (about 7 hours) and it slowly started to sink in and the scar wasnt so bad to me anymore. Im pretty comfortable with the idea now. And of course the price went up lol as well as the lenth of my surgery but again, it was expected. My house is clean, my bags are packed and I am ready to go! Everyone keep me in mind and say a little prayer. I will post an update as soon as I can tomorrow! Thank you everyone for all your well wishes :)

Well I just arrived in Houston! I have 1 hour until I need to check in at the hospital. I have to say that yesterday was by far my worst day! I dropped off my kids with grandma and drove away crying my eyes out. I questioned all of this, was it really worth it?! It was really hard. I met a man last night who had the most comforting words of wisdom for me and it really eased my mind. I walked out of wal mart thinking that god put me at there with the stranger for a reason. It was his way of saying everything will be okay. I only slept about 2 hours last night and I was so upset I couldnt eat a thing yesterday. Needless to say I am really regretting that now. lol I'm starving! Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and stories of encouragement. can't wait to get out of surgery and share my story! Sorry for all the typo's lol doing this from my phone. Wish me luck!!!!

Well ladies, I made it!!!!! I have to say it was not that bad at all. I ended up being called to the back as soon as I got to the hospital which was a good thing. Everything happened really fast. Everyone at the hospital was AMAZING!!! As soon as I woke up from the surgery I was throwing up. I knew it was going to happen because I did not eat the day before and I was up feeling sick to my stomach. I threw up several times for about 20 minutes right after I woke up, but they gave me 2 shots to call my stomach down, I stayed in recovery for about 2 hours and my surgery lasted about 2 hours. I am not in very much pain, more so pressure and stinging around the incisions. I will let you know how my follow up goes tomorrow! Good night!

Well I think this is considered day 3 post op. I am feeling pretty good. Still cant seem to get up and do to much without the pain coming back. Actually it isnt really a pain, so much as them getting really really hard and the pressure becomes to much. I am still taking the pain meds but I have cut them in half. They are still very hard and high, which is expected. I cant wear a bra for 6 weeks!!!! :/ I am not excited about that at all! I went for my post op the following day and he showed me how to start massaging them, that was NOT fun at all! I dont think the massage hurt that bad as the stretching of the incisions is what was hurting me. I have been doing them every chance I get. I can shower for 5 minutes a day with warm water which is nice. I still have some burning around the incisions but nothing to bad. I held up my old bra against them today and I finally noticed a difference :) It didnt even cover half of my new boobs! I kinda wish I would have went a little bigger but I know they still need to drop alot. And honestly I would have rather went to small than to big. I am just soooo glad they are FINALLY even! He did such a great job at getting them even. I cant wait to go back and have the bandages taken off. I still havent seen my right nipple. But so far I am completely happy and say it is totally worth it! Anyone out there waiting to have the surgery done, please dont be nervous. I wish I would have just listened to all the other ladies on here and realized that the surgery was going to be a breeze. The first 15 minutes after surgery was the only really crappy part about it, I did not enjoy the nausea at all! I have to go back in 2 weeks to have the bandages taken off, until then a whole lot of relaxing and enjoying my hubby taking care of me :) Good luck to anyone having their BA done soon! You will be fine!!

Well I am a little over 2 weeks post op and I feel pretty much back to normal!!! YOO HOOO!!!! Let me tell you that it was not easy. I was one of the unlucky ones who went through depression after and it was not nice at all. I wasnt depressed over my boobs, im not sure what it was. I was just very emotional and sensitive, never happy, couldnt find it in me to get out of the house. It lasted about 4 days or so then I was back to normal. I went last Friday and had my bandages removed. I was SOOO afraid to see my scars I didnt even look at my boobs until later that night. After the 6 hour drive home I finally worked up the nerve to walk into the restroom and lift up my blouse....well to my surprise it was AMAZING!!! My scars, at not even 2 weeks post op were almost invisible!!! Its been about 5 days since the bandages came off and man does it bother me. They itch so so so bad!!!! The bra I bought over a week ago from VS in a 36C became to small for me so my hubby took me back yesterday and to my surprise I measured at a 36D :)))) I couldnt believe it! It feels so great to have boobs! I loved bra shopping! For the first time ever. I havent had any pain, I sleep on my side again, my only complaint is the itching and the depression. Other than that, my boob job was a walk in the park! My right boob has softened and dropped while the left is being stubborn. But it doesnt bother me, they look great! I would be happy to answer any questions about the whole process, I know there were several women on here that helped me out tons!!!

Good morning ladies! Have a question, hopefully someone can help. It has been a week today since my doctor removed my bandages. Everything is going great but I can't take the itching anymore! I knew they would itch due to healing but it is driving me insane. Hopefully someone can't recommend something! Thanks :)