Long bumpy road ahead...

Hi everyone! First of all, I am so glad I found...

Hi everyone! First of all, I am so glad I found this site! I have thought about breast reduction for several years. Between having kids and my mom's health problems, it is an idea that has been on the back burner for a while. It is so wonderful to have so many ladies who understand what I have went though and felt, and who are so selfless and willing to share their experiences! Thanks to you all!

My story is similar to many I have read on here. I am a 35 year old mother of 2 young children. I am 5'3" and 135 lbs with a 36DDD chest. I remember about 6th grade starting to "blossom" and given the long line of big boobed women on both sides of my family I was already dreading my future. By 8th grade, I was already a good size B and felt very uncomfortable with the stares and comments from my male classmates. By high school I was a nearly a full D and that's when the baggy t-shirts, oversized sweatshirts and anything else that could hide my size became my everyday wardrobe. By my mid 20's I had hoped I was through expanding, but the girls had other ideas and on to DDs it was. When I became pregnant with my son, they grew even more to a whopping 36DDD. Three years later while pregnant with my daughter, they ballooned to a 38G. Luckily, in the last 3 years they have shrank back to 36DDD, but, as you all well know, that is nothing to be happy about. My back hurts me constantly. My shoulders and neck hurt on a regular basis and I have migranes so bad at times that I can't even move my head because of the pain. It is hard to straighten my back if I bend over for too long and my posture is horrible. I am so tired of the pain and discomfort of lugging these puppies around! I would love to be comfortable in my own body for a change, both physically and mentally.

My misfortune was to marry a "breast man" and he is of the "the bigger the better" mindset. We have been married 8 years and he swears to this day that it was my eyes that first caught his attention, but he's not a very good liar! LOL I have mentioned on more than several occasions that I would feel so much better about myself and be in much less pain if I could drop a few cup sizes. He then breaks out his standard response of "There are lots of women who pay big bucks to have boobs like that. You should be proud of them!" I try to explain to him that the women who WANT big boobs haven't had to lug them around and do any type of physical activity with them either. Since finding this site and reading over the experiences of all the fantastic ladies here, I have made up my mind that I absolutely want this surgery! It is trying to bring my hubby on board that could put the breaks on this bye-bye booby train. Anyone else have problems with their significant others objecting? He hasn't gone as far as telling me no he doesn't want me to do it, but his not so subtle hints of disapproval have not gone unnoticed. I have been trying for days to sit him down and talk about it, but as soon as anything is said about how I'd like to have smaller breasts he either changes topics or shuts down all together. As much as I want this done I can't do it without his support, mainly because with a 7 year old and a 3 year old, I will have to have him on board and willing to help. I know my husband all too well, and this is the same man who would not even put a frozen pizza in the oven by himself while I was recovering from a c-section! Sadly, I think our 7 year old son is more self-sufficent! I am going to keep working on him and maybe he will see my side of things....even if I have to strap a couple of sandbags inside a bra and make him wear it all day! LOL

In the meantime, I have been researching plastic surgeons. I live in a very small town in a rual area, but luckily I have found a doctor with very high reviews from patients and over 30 years experience. His office is less than half an hour from where I live and he accepts my insurance. The hospital is the same one my mom had hip replacement surgery in and they are very good. Not to mention that I have a cousin who is a RN there and an aunt who worked as a nurse there for years and knows the place inside and out. Now just waiting to take the first step and make an appointment for a consult to see if insurance would cover at least most of the cost. I am hoping to do this sooner than later, so hopefully I will be able to continue my experience and share with others this journey to a happier me!

It has been a while since I posted my original...

It has been a while since I posted my original review. It has certainly been a lot more difficult to begin this process than I thought it would be. I finally made a call to my first doctor of choice to try and at least schedule a consult. He has excellent credentials and reviews, but I was told that he no longer did larger size reductions which is what I would need. Luckily, his office did highly recommend another doctor in my area that I am planning on calling tomorrow for more details. I am excited to be on this path, but it is not going to be without it's hurdles to overcome. Not just with the process of the reduction itself, but with trying to deal with my husband's absolute disapproval of me doing this. I was hoping that once I sat down and talked to him about it, gave him the facts, and explained to him (again!) why I not only wanted this surgery, but NEEDED it he would at least understand and pretend to support me. How wrong I was! Even after I told him my doctor agreed I was a good candidate for a reduction, especially given my family history of breast cancer on both sides of my family. I thought once the doctor explained that the smaller in size my breasts were the more likely any sign of cancer would be deteted earlier that my husband would be okay with it. He STILL says he is 100% against any type of plastic surgery since he "cannot believe it is actually needed." Even though he was gracious enough to tell me that it is my body and he can't tell me what to do with it, I know him well enough to know what I will have to deal with out of him if and when I do go through with this surgery. I wish I had the support at home that most of you wonderful ladies seem to have had, but either way, this is something I feel I need to do for ME. Not only for the betterment of my health, but for an overall better me. I cannot help but believe I would be a better mother and wife if I was not in pain so often and felt more comfortable in my own body. Here's hoping to brighter and lighter days ahead!

Wow....four months since my last update and,...

Wow....four months since my last update and, sadly, not much has changed for me. The hubby STILL firmly against me having a reduction. I can't even talk to him about it without him getting aggitated and going on about all of the reasons HE thinks I have no real need for the surgery and how millions of women would be happy to have a chest as large as mine. I want to have this surgery so bad. I know how much better I would feel both physically and emotionally.

Here's the kicker! The PS I have chosen and feel the most comfortable with does not take insurance. After hearing how much insurance would require removed, I am not wanting to use insurance anyway. My husband has a decent job and we are very frugal with what we spend. We have enough in savings right now to cover the entire cost of the reduction without hurting our nest egg. Since my husband is against me having this done he has refused to pay for the procedure. I am a stay at home mom, so I have no income of my own to put towards my surgery fund. This is what frustrates me so. I could call tomorrow and start the process rolling to schedule the reduction, but without my hubby's okay to withdrawal the money to pay for it I am left with no real options. When I think about the whole situation I am not sure if I want to scream in anger or cry from dissapointment and sadness.

The way it is looking, without some miracle or a drastic change of heart from the hubby, my journey isn't going to get any smoother.

Wish this were easier, but without a miracle or a SERIOUS change of heart from my husband, it doesn't look like my journey is going to get any smoother.
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JC1976, I feel for you, girl! And I can relate! My BF adores my "girls" and cannot imagine me "mutilating" them. (His words.) Having said that, it is my decision and my body and he knows that, but it would be nice to have our man's support. Oh, I am a 36N and about ten years older than you. To combat the pain from the weight of my breasts I have been diligent as far as exercising. You are in a small town but can you go to a local gym and make an appointment with a trainer? You need to work on your core back muscles to support your "gals." Learn exercises at the gym and do them at home. Yoga and massages can help, too. And of course make sure you're in the right size bra (band and cup size). Point is, if it looks like a BR is not in your immediate future, there are things you can do to help yourself minimize if not eliminate the pain. Good luck and keep us posted!
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Hi Iowa! The consult went well. I really like the surgeon and his staff. The only downside is that they do not accept insurance any longer. He said they did not like the rigid set amount of tissue removal most insurance companies require for coverage. In my case, insurance would require the removal of at least 1000 grams total. The surgeon I spoke with said he wouldn't recommend I have more than 600 bilateral for my body size. He said I was an excellent candidate for reduction. The hubby is against me having the surgery, as you know, and that was when I thought insurance was a good thing to try. I just don't think he will ever agree to paying out of pocket for a $6000 surgery he claims I don't need to start with. He didn't even know I had the consult today. I am preparing myself for this phase of the conversation because I know it won't be pleasant. Despite the issues with my husband, I am excited and more certain than ever that I am ready for a reduction! Here's hoping I will know before long if and when I can officially begin this process.
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Are you going to try to see any other PSs to see if they will file with insurance? Good luck with the conversation with your husband!!
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There aren't many plastic surgeons in my area. I don't want to have to drive an hour or two away, so that leaves me with about 3 that are highly recommended by my regular doctor. My first choice did take insurance but no longer does large reductions that require a hospital OR. The PS I had the consult with is great. I felt very comfortable with him and his staff and he explained everything very thoroughly especially about the insurance vs out of pocket choice. For insurance to cover the surgery for me they would require a minimum of 500 grams bilateral to be removed. That would leave me way smaller than I would like. I would like to end up a full C or small D. The PS said for my body shape and size he wouldn't recommend anything smaller than that. As far as cost, we have a good amount of savings put back, so the money is there. Once again the problem goes back to my husband's objection to the surgery. He works swing shift and hasn't been home to really talk about it since my consult. Hopefully I can try and go over things with him this weekend. I really like this PS I spoke with and the surgery would be done in the same hospital where I had my c-section when my youngest was born. I like the idea that this PS puts what is best suited for the patient above what insurance says is needed. I am hoping I can do this and use this PS. Once I know for sure I will post an update. Thanks again for the support Iowa!! I need it!!
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Hope you get a chance to talk with your husband this weekend! Good luck!
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JC, I'm so sorry you are still battling your husband about this. I wish there was some way for these guys to "feel" what these breasts do to us and how they wear down your body. I am hopeful that you will find a surgeon you like and that you can get some measure of support from your family. This is a long road and I hate that thought of it being a battle for you. But if you know that this is what you need to do for you, then I'm thrilled that you are strong enough to stand up for yourself. Please keep us posted.
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Thanks so much Iowa! I have taken the first step and made an appointment for a consult with a doctor near me on Wednesday! I haven't mentioned that to the husband yet, so guess I'll see how that goes over. I am excited to be taking this first step and to sit down with a surgeon and see what he has to say. I feel like I know so much of what to expect from reading all the wonderful reviews from all of you great ladies on here! I wish my husband did support my decision in this, but I do have support from my parents and friends. I hope my husband will come around, but I am ready to do this even without his support. I will know more after my consult in two short days! Wish me luck!
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Hey JC, how did the consult go?
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JC1976, I actually had to look at your name to be sure I hadn't written your original post. I too am seeing a PS that used to take insurance, but now doesn't for the the very same reason. I too chose him because he is the closest and has very high recommendations. The others are at least an hour away. AND my husband works overnight shifts. I'm guessing though that 1976 is the year you were born. If so, you are younger than I am. I went through the same with my husband, and he is very much like yours it sounds. I finally just told him I was doing it. I took out a loan on my own. I told him several times how much I hurt and they hurt (from weight). I even had a diagnostic mammogram to be sure it wasn't something more serious. I too have Breast Cancer in my family, my Mom passed away from it. I see the dates on your original posts are a few months old, so I don't know if you have gone ahead with your surgery or not. But keep up with the hubby discussions. I think his post surgery complaining (if there is any) would be a lot less painful than carrying around these huge breasts.
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Hi, JC,
Just found your post.  I had my BR on June 11th.  I knew my husband would not be on board, so I did all my research, found my PS,  scheduled and PAID for my surgery, and told him on the Thursday before my surgery on the following Monday.  In retrospect, that wasn't very fair of me, but I knew he would try to talk me out of it.  I am older than you...just turned 50, and my daughter is in college, so I am in a different season of my life.  I am so glad I had the surgery though, and only wish I had done it when I was your age. Good luck to you and keep us updated. 
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Oh my gosh, Wilson! How did your husband react? and what does he think of them now?
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Hi wilsongt! Thanks for sharing your story. I also appreciate the good luck wishes. The way it is looking, I need all the luck I can get with my situation. I have tried for weeks to get my husband to sit down with me and have a serious talk about this. My hope was that he would see how much good this surgery would be for me both physically and emotionally, but so far it is like talking to a brick wall. He has gone as far as to say that he is against the idea of me "butchering" myself. All I hear when I do get him cornered long enough to even bring it up is how I should be happy with my large chest since there are lots of women who would pay big bucks to have my boobs, or how he doesn't understand why I complain so much because my chest shouldn't be big enough to cause my any kind of pain. Basically, he's telling me it is all in my imagination. I really have my doubts that he will ever try to see this from my point of view. I am really at a loss and don't know what to do. I know I would feel so much better if I had the BR. I just don't know how to handle things with my husband. Wish I was as brave as you were and could just do it!
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Thanks so much Iowa!! I have to say, I LOVE the idea about the bowling ball!! LOL I am hoping he will come around to the idea. Granted, he might sulk around the house for a while, but he'll eventually get over it. I think once he realizes how much happier and healthier I would be he might be more receptive to the whole thing. As far as if I would have anyone who could help, I believe I would. I have just recently made up my mind about trying to start this process, so I haven't really talked to anyone other than my mom and the hubby about it. My mom would be able to do small things, but she had surgery last year and can't do a lot. I have two older sisters who I think would be able to stop by and help with some things as well. I do have a cousin who is a nurse and she helped my mom out a lot when she had her surgery last year. I am more concerned about having someone to help with the kids. My son is 7, so he can pretty much do most everything for himself, but my daughter is 3 and like most little girly-girls is a tad high maintenance. LOL My husband works swing shifts at his job, so he is usually gone most of the day/night or having to sleep. I doubt he could get any time off to be home after surgery. Hopefully once I talk to my family more about this I will be able to work something out. I think once I know I will be able to do this AND get the kiddos all taken care of I will be ready to see the doctor and get the party started!! I will certainly keep updating my progress on my journey....even if they are just baby steps for now! :)
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I think the kids will be manageable. As long as you don't have to go out with them for the first week you should be fine. If they don't get baths for a few days, its no big deal. And I bet your son would love to help take care of you and be a big strong protector!! And your baby-girl will have a great time curled on the other end of the couch watching all of those Disney or Barbie movies that you don't usually have time to watch with her. You can do this!
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Hi JC! Welcome!! First of all thanks for sharing your story. Secondly, I'm sorry that your husband isn't real supportive of this. Rather than making a bra, maybe you could strap a bowling ball around his waist and let it dangle between his legs and see how well he can manuver that! If your husband isn't willing to help would a close friend, sister/cousin, etc be willing to step in. After the first couple of days you should be relatively self-sufficient especially if you have some frozen meals planned and have the house prepared for your recovery. Of course you wouldn't want to cause a divorce or anything like that, but you do have to consider your happiness, as well as his. And a lifetime of pain for you just so he can look at your huge breasts really isn't worth it. Plus, at least for me, my breasts are much more sensitive than my large ones ever were, which makes me much more responsive to my husband, and being more self-confident certainly helps matters too. Aaaannndd...I'm still big breasted! I'm a DD, so just because you won't be obscenely huge, doesn't mean you are going to be ridiculously small either.  Good luck! I will be thinking of you and hoping that you can get this all worked out. Please stay in touch!
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