Wait, I had SURGERY less than two weeks ago? No....

Holy Macaroni! Its getting closer~!! I keep going on this site trying to find someone who had the same size tata's as me to start with and see what size implants they got, but I CAN'T!!!! Its so difficult, and for that reason, I REALLY hope I make the right decision! I have always been on the busty side - I was a DD by 9th grade - and all the way up to a 40G with my last pregnancy. Since losing the weight, I have dropped to a 34D/DD (EXTREMELY DEFLATED!) - but nonetheless, I cannot find anyone who started that big and wanted what I want. What exactly do I want? Well, I not interested in going smaller by ANY means...I would like to end up with a FULL, HIGH, [RS bleep] STAR-LIKE 34DD. I don't want the "natural" look. Forget that mess - I am not spending this kind of money so people DONT notice. I want the "DANG~ Who is HER Doctor!" reaction. I have my pre-op next tuesday, December 11th at 11am. I am excited to go back, hand them the huge chunk of cash and say "Okay, see you monday for surgery!!!". My worries - I really hope I like my end result. I want my scar as LOW as it can go. I went on a special panties hunt and found the skimpiest pair of panties I could find and bought them so I could have them for D-DAY.

I can tell my husband is getting worried. He is going through the jealous thing right now. I think he is worried I will leave him for someone else or let all of the attention get to my head when all of this is over. I REALLY wish he would stop with that already.

I am also hoping that I am small enough to get the results that I want. I am 5'7", 148-150lbs, and currently wearing a size 4 comfortable, even WITH my big nasty "SVETLANA" (my gut's name - yes, I named her!). I am hoping to be a size 2 after this is all through with huge knockers. We will see!! Doctor says as long as I am within 20 pounds of my weight goal when I get the surgery done it wont effect the results any in either direction. I will try my best to be 145lbs by the 17th, and he said he would be removing about 3lbs of skin and flab, which would put me more at 142lbs. I am happy with that. I REALLLLY want the scale to say 139, because that is my 100lbs mark, but I am happy with the way the rest of my body looks right now, without this dunlap and pancake [RS bleep].

That's all for now, folks!

I swear, if its not one thing, its another! I've been busting my ovaries trying to figure out how I am going to pay for this ---- my husband is a disabled veteran, so unlike most would believe, we barely survive off of his pathetic VA compensation. Needless to say, I started being a crazy woman this year when I decided I was GOING to do this for myself. I am a mom of four, in school (college) full time, teaching 5 children's voice classes, coaching 2 cheerleading squads, health coaching, and saving EVERY penny I have made this year for this surgery AND I STILL FELL $4300 SHORT - but luckily, the amazing husband signed for a loan. It has been sooooo stressful. On top of this -- my husbands truck has been leaking. Got the phone call today --- its going to cost $860 FREAKING DOLLARS! Ugh....this surgery needs to hurry up. The kids I teach have 7 more performances, all up until the day before surgery. I had a pap smear today, my pre op is tuesday, hubby has a neuro appointment on thursday and then monday is surgery! HOLY CRAP THIS IS FLYING BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am scared. Scared, for a couple reasons. First, I am scared of the pain. Secondly, I am scared that I will not chose the right implant size. Thirdly, I am scared my scar on my tummy will be too high. I am not going to have any time to think about things to get before hand, so i am hoping my Dr. will let me have my scripts at my pre op so I can already have them filled and waiting.

There is just sooo much going on. I am ready for the next 10 days to fly by and to wake up to my new me - with a ton of Lortab! lol