Nearly 4 wks PO-hole at base of breast!! New pics...

I'm a Mom of 3 beautiful kids, ages 9, 7, and 4. I always wanted to be a Mom. I was very glad that my dreams came true after battling infertility for two years. Being pregnant with my oldest was stressful....during the infertility trials, I did get pregnant, and miscarried twins. Anyone who has been pregnant after miscarrying, (especially your first pregnancy..) knows that you get stressed about everything, believing that anything you do that is too extreme, may lead you to miscarry. Needless to say, I gained 70 pounds by being overly cautious. I've always weighed more than I look like I would, but when I delivered at 222 pounds.....I was very shocked and ashamed I would go over 200! With some hard work, I lost most of that weight, however, I gained stretch marks EVERYWHERE, and A LOT of extra skin! I also learned that I get huge...stomach wise, being pregnant.

My hubby and I decided that we should start trying shortly after having our 1st son, incase we had infertility issues, so that the kids weren't too far apart in age. I got pregnant on the first try. Our sons are only 16mos apart. Pregnancies so close together, sealed the deal on my skin being extra stretched out. I wasn't as nervous with second pregnancy. I ate really healthy, I exercised. I chased after a one year old....but still gained 50 pounds, and got up over 200 again! Oh, and got a few more stretch marks up over my belly button! I lost 40 pounds of that pretty quickly afterward, however, I could not lose my extra skin. It was literally like a deflated pregnant belly, that just hung from me, that I got to tuck into pants.

A couple years later, I got pregnant, and miscarried again. That was very difficult to deal with. Eleven months after the miscarriage, and eight months of trying for it, I was pregnant again. This time I found myself being very nervous, and overly cautious. I gained 10 pounds being depressed after miscarriage, that I wasn't able to lose before pregnancy. I gained sixty pounds with pregnancy, tipping scale at 230 for delivery! I got two more stretch marks too! I delivered a long, over nine pound, baby girl! My stomach never recovered from that final pregnancy. I was able to do Pilates and sit ups after the pregnancies with both boys, and the extra skin was there, but hung flat and easily stuffed into pants. After my daughter, my stomach began to heal, but I was left with a very distended upper abdomen that makes me look like I'm still 4 mos pregnant. I've tried everything through diet and exercise to get it to go back down, I wore compression garments....nothing worked. Further, my muscles separated to a point that I am no longer able to do a sit up, or any intense stomach exercise. The muscles just don't work, and it's very frustrating. Now that the upper stomach sticks out so much, it makes tucking in the lower abdomen more difficult. I went up two pant sizes, just to accommodate. I am not willing to walk around in pants that fit my legs, and let that extra skin hang over. I was able to lose 50 pounds of the weight from third pregnancy. I have been dieting and exercising, but no matter how much I do, I end up gaining, from the muscle and water weight.

I have been considering a Tummy Tuck since the first pregnancy, and all the extra hanging skin. However, the skin didn't inhibit my ability to do anything physically, and it never bothered my husband, so it wasn't a priority. Now that my daughter is 4, and it is clear through much exercise and dieting that my stomach isn't ever going to get flat without help...it has become a priority. It's very frustrating to try so hard, and not have the use of stomach muscles. Makes back hurt, effects posture, effects clothing choices...I'm constantly effected by this distension and laxity. I no longer feel confident when I'm naked. It's time to do something for myself, and get back to having stomach muscles that work, and a body I work hard at and am proud of!

This coming Wednesday, October 17th, I am having a full, drainless, TT, BA and BL, and lipo to the hips/flanks. My surgery is with Dr. Vath, in Golden, CO. I have 4 friends that have gone to him, and really look amazing now. All of them would do it again in a heartbeat!
I am so happy I found this site, and so grateful that all of you have shared your stories. I am embarrassed of my "before" photos, but want to share, because it has helped me to gain the confidence to do this, since you all have shared yours, and the results are so amazing! More to come when I'm on the flat side.....

I got the prescriptions filled today. It was my oldest son's birthday and party, and now that it's over, I'm very aware that this surgery is on Wednesday. I think I was so focused on getting through the party and getting work sorted out while I'm out for two weeks, that I have nothing left to focus on but the fact I'm about to have surgery for the first time in my life. The nerves have crept up on me in a major way. I'm very anxious. I'm having the "why am I doing this" moment that I've read most of you write about. Its crazy, I keep looking at everyone's awesome after pictures, but I'm struggling to envision my stomach flat after its been distended so long! I think women....especially mothers, torture themselves like this for anything that's going to take them out of their routine for any length of time. I get this anxiety every time just my husband and I go on vacation. I get it when I have to travel for work. I hate this feeling. I feel so selfish for taking away from the family. I wish I could focus on how many times I've nursed my husband back from his surgeries, or kids from surgeries and broken bones....that its ok for me, the Mom, to have something for me. But, it's hard to think that. I feel a little better getting it out. I am trying, desperately, not to go to the "what if I don't make it" place.....
I wonder why we do this to ourselves. Two more nights of this!

Holy cow!!! It's just two sleeps and then it's Dday! I don't think I can shop for anything else.... I feel prepared. I'm ready for first three days after to completely suck. I'm trying to envision this being real and being flat. I see all if your pics, they're beautiful. I just am so accustomed to this distended abdomen and giant skin flap. I'm just pushing myself. Have to get through to the finish line here and not chicken out! Thinking about everyone else who's with me this week! We CAN do this ladies!