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I am 45 years old and have two beautiful children...

I am 45 years old and have two beautiful children (11 & 5). I was 40 when I had my last and had a cesarean. Both my children were large although I bounced back after my first (probably because I was younger) but did not bounce back so quickly with my second. Even though I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight 3 months after giving birth I was left with a diastasis of approximately 2 finger breadths and loose wrinkly skin. When my youngest was one I went and saw a PS who said a full tummy tuck was required with MR but after thinking about it I decided against surgery and thought I could put up with my wrinkly tummy.

My marriage has since broken down and I once again have enquired about another tummy tuck (different surgeon as I have moved interstate). I have already cancelled two of my surgeries (both due to unexpected health issues and am due to go on the 20th December 2011).

I am terrified of the GA and of not waking up and of ever seeing my children again. My ex-husband lives 2000km away and I think, if something happens to me he will take them away from their home and how will they cope without me.

My PS had told me I should get a wonderful result and has told me that my TT with full MR should only take 1 hour and my mini facelift should also only take 1 hour. So 2 hours of surgery all up.

My tummy tuck was only $7,000 and my mini-facelift is close to $9,000. (I would have thought it would be the other way around, as the TT is a much bigger procedure).

Anyway I will be staying in hospital overnight with a pain pump. I will have two drains and he wants me to wear a compression garment for 6 weeks. He told me that everyone swells differently and that the usual time for swelling to subside is 6 weeks.

My kids will be on school holidays when I have my procedures but I live with my dad has helped me out with the kids since my separation and he will take a week off work to help me a home. I feel sad that I won't be 100% on xmas day and won't be able to leave the house for approximately 2 weeks (apparently my face will be pretty swollen) but its the only time I have holidays). I go back to uni (I am a 4th year med student) and I actually start a surgical rotation on the 16th January). Sometimes I think it would have been better if I did my surgical rotation before my procedure so that it would put my mind at ease). LOL

I will need all of your lovely ladies support over the next 10 weeks as I keep having days where I am happy to go ahead and then I have days when I think, no I'm not going to do this. I am not scared of the pain or the recovery I am scared of something going terribly wrong).

Being in the hospitals as a med student, I see people who are genuinely very sick and it makes me feel bad that I am having an elective procedure due to vanity alone.

Does anyone else share these thoughts and feelings??

I will try and post some photos.