Totally Excited...and Scared to Death! - Fort Worth, TX

I am so glad to have found this site. I'm turning...

I am so glad to have found this site. I'm turning 30 in October, have one child that I breastfed for a year and a half (she's 9 in September), 5'5ish, 130lbs. I'm currently a 36B (on a good day) and feel saggy and depleted. I've been thinking about an aug off and on for years but never followed through with it because of my fear of anethesia and the cost. I have always felt insecure about my breasts (except when I was breastfeeding and also that time I weighed 40 lbs more and had big boobs) even though my ex-husband and other boyfriends have always said they were fine. I just miss fullness...and being able to wear sundresses and shirts without a bra.

I've been to 3 consultations. Danielle LeBlanc is absolutely amazing and has a great personality and attitude. She gives you a range that she will consider and shows you how different sizes will change the shape of your breast. She was so informative that I left knowing how to decide exactly what I want. She is so busy that they wouldn't be able to fit me in until November 30. I was going to wait until then (she would totally be worth it) but I had scheduled with Richard Ethridge for the next day and didn't want to cancel without 24 hours notice. I met with him the next day and am so glad I did. He actually went to high school with LeBlanc and even does occasional surgeries with her now. He highly recommended her to me. I spoke with him at length about the same things I went over with her and found they were almost the exact same about everything BUT he has more surgery days and could fit me in sooner. Not to mention he reminds me of Dr McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy...and has eyes like my boyfriend. No, I did not pick him because he's attractive (like my mom thinks) but because he was just as calming and assuring as LeBlanc was. Neither of them will do sizes outside of a range (mine is 275-450) and they both use sizers during surgery. I am wanting natural looking breasts and am not particularly set on a size. I'm much more concerned about the final shape and both surgeons completely understood what I was trying to describe. LeBlanc showed me exactly what to look for in before/after pictures and explained over vs under in just the right way that I finally was able to make decide what I want. My mom isn't happy but I'm going with silicone unders...I'm not picking a size, I'll leave that to the Dr. I know that he said I'm looking at the 350-400 range. My boyfriend said to tell him to err on the side of too big. Typical man ;) but I do understand the most common complaint is "Wish they were bigger" so I'm pretty sure he's right.

So now I wait. My surgery is in 12 days, 11 hours, 47 min...but who's counting? ;) I'm super excited but so nervous about all the complications and healing time. My boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Cancun in November and I'm afraid that I will have alien boobs still. I'm worried about the pain and being able to return to work. I am a home care nurse and specialize in wound care. The dr is going to give me extra abx to help prevent infection and my boss said I can do office work for a little while...but I really need to get back to work ASAP. I'm more excited than scared right now but I know that's going to change a lot in the next 2 weeks!

Any advice on things I should buy prior to surgery would be awesome. I've gotten the things that he told me to have (tylenol, ice packs, etc.) but it's the little things that I books or magazines to read while I'm stuck at home recovering. This site and everyone's stories have helped me so much in making this decision. Thanks guys!

Paid for the new boobs today! I talked to the...

Paid for the new boobs today! I talked to the office manager for a long time about my fears of choosing the wrong size, complications, healing times, return to work, etc. She was absolutely wonderful and completely relieved all my fears. My parents are totally against all of this and I have spent hours looking at all the "not worth it" reviews and have been freaking out about whether or not to go through with this. My boyfriend has been wonderful and always reassures me that he'll love me (and my body) no matter what I decide to do even if it results in a horrible case of symmastia or bottoming out! How I love that boy ;)

I think my biggest concern right now is size. I have pictures to take to pre-op and I know that Dr Ethridge said I'm probably looking at the 350-400 boyfriend said I should go up 50 more than I think I want. I am so afraid of going too big. But equally afraid of going too small. I know that ultimately I'm going to show the surgeon the pictures and leave it to his judgement. I just wish I could see the end result already! I am so impatient.

7 days 12 hours 35 min until surgery...getting sooo excited!

So I watched a documentary with my boyfriend last...

So I watched a documentary with my boyfriend last night about porn stars after they leave the industry. I saw all the huge fake boobs and totally freaked out again. I've gained 3-5lbs in the last month so my boobs are feeling pretty full right now and I am so afraid of going too big and having that porn star look. I talked to him about it this morning and he (once again) reassured me that I'm not going to look like a porn star and that everything will be fine. He also told me to stop over thinking this, stop looking at all the complications and recoveries and just think about something else. He's such a smart boy. So no more staring at pictures of symmastia and capsular contracture and bottoming out. No more looking at recovery photos (because I get so freaked out by how high they look!) and no more before and afters. I've got 10 pictures to narrow to 3 for the surgeon tonight and then I'm going to lay it all down until pre-op on Tuesday. I already feel a huge relief.

Honestly though, I think the biggest part of my freak out today is knowing that I'm not going to see him for 12 days. He's a pilot and will be working day of surgery. He'll be back to see me Sunday after and will spend 3 days with me then. I like it better this way because I don't want him to see me all conked out or in pain the first few days but at the same time, nobody makes me feel better the way he does. My mom and sister are going to be taking care of me which is nice considering my mom isn't really approving but also uncomfortable because she isn't approving. At least she's a nurse :)

About to go in for my pre-surgery mammogram (not required but covered by my insurance so I might as well, right?) and not looking forward to that.

Any ideas on how to talk to my daughter about this? My feeling is to not say anything until she notices (she's 9 and still oblivious to most things) because I don't want her to tell her dad and start a war. My friends say I need to talk to her about it though. Not sure which way to go. She will be with my parents for the weekend following surgery so she won't see the worst days of it.

I went to VS yesterday to try to figure out this...

I went to VS yesterday to try to figure out this "VS D" that everyone keeps referring to when I talk about what size I want to be. They sized me as a 34D...and I came to the realization that VS sells a dream, a dream of having big boobies. Because I was a D once...and I am not anywhere close to that now. I just uploaded a picture of what I look like now and what VS says I would look like as a DD. I'm really thinking it's a D and I'm thinking it's not so bad ;)

Totally freaking out about size right now. Too big and there's so many possible complications. Too small and I regret it...decisions decisions decisions. I'm so ready for this to be over with!

3 days 13 hours 30 mins to go...

It's becoming real! Just sent my "yes" and "no"...

It's becoming real! Just sent my "yes" and "no" pictures to the Dr for my pre-op tomorrow! I've spent all day reading everyone's stories inbetween patients at work (I know I'm not supposed to be doing that anymore, but I can't help it!!) and am feeling more excited than nervous. My sister helped me narrow down my 20 pictures to 6 but we couldn't narrow them down anymore. I'll be able to throw out more tomorrow when I am there, just couldn't do it tonight. I am so ready for this to be over!

2 days 12 hours 50 mins...yay!!

Had my pre-op today. I LOVE my PS. He makes me...

Had my pre-op today. I LOVE my PS. He makes me feel so comfortable. He took my pictures and noticed my tattoo (I have a huge full back piece) and was like "Wow! Can I see that?" and he asked me a million questions about it. He says he doesn't have any tattoos but he loves them. Then he asked to take a picture of that too. :) He was like a big kid.

So now to the important stuff :) He looked at the pictures I sent over, said that it looks like I'm going for more of a small to mid D. Says he'll bring 325-400 cc to surgery but expects to use the 375 mod +. He said he was really happy with my picture choices because they all have a curve to the outside of the breast and that is pretty much exactly what I'll get. He said some women have breast tissue that ends at the ribcage but mine extends out some and the implant will give me a nice shape that will be very aesthetically pleasing :) Apparently I have a small waist and the extra boobage will give me super curves. Yay me! I told him that I was pretty much over all my concerns except bottoming out. He told me he knows how to prevent that and I didn't need to worry about that. So I won't. I'm only sending positive thoughts into the universe now.

He gave me the rx's Valium, Vicodin, Keflex and Ambien (pain meds make me do the body sleep/brain awake thing). Price was $18 which is a lot better than I expected. The pharmacist decided to have a conversation with me about her sister's aug and lipo. I wasn't really interested but she was holding my meds so I was a pretty captive audience.

The surgery center called and did all my preliminary questions. Working is almost impossible. I can't imagine how I"m going to get through seeing my patients tomorrow, all I want to do is count down minutes until my surgery starts. My poor boyfriend. This is all I have talked about for the last two days. My brain is screaming "boobs boobs boobs" all the time.

1 day 12 hours 35 min...

2 hours 45 min!! Dropping the girl off at school....

2 hours 45 min!! Dropping the girl off at school. Have to see one patient and then off to surgery. Wish me luck!!
Fort Worth Plastic Surgeon

I did a google search for local surgeons and then spent hours staring at different before and afters. I checked Fort Worth magaize for the best of doctors (voted by their peers) and called surgeons who were on the list for multiple lists. I scheduled 10 consultations but fell in love with #2 and #3. They were both about the same age and had similar procedures/policies so I went with Ethridge who could fit me in sooner. He also spends a lot of time volunteering his services for cleft lip/palate children and I like that he gives back to the community. Both of the doctors made me feel comfortable and left me feeling great about the upcoming procedure. Dr #1 made me feel hesitant and unsure.

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Your before looks a lot like me! Do you have any afters???
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Good luck today!! I'll be thinking of you!
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Hiya candacle~Sounds like you have a million butterflies in your tummy!!! I was nervous before my BA too it's totally normal, lol. I think you should follow your heart and go with the size you feel most comfy with. I have 304 cc's and currently fit into a full C cup. Glad I did not go bigger. My results are very natural, did not want the porn star look. Good luck with everything. Look forward to seeing your post op piks're going to look great :-))
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Thanks so much :) All you ladies have made me feel so much calmer about everything. It's so great to have a support group!
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This is a great place and I have learned so much here!
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congrats on your up coming BA! Mine is on september 7 @11 o'clock
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Congrats to you too! I bet you're as excited/nervous as I am! Can't wait to compare stories ;)
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LOL @ remodeling the temple, candacle! The size looks great -- not disproportionate and definitely not porn-y. And how sweet that your BF has promised to love you no matter what! He sounds like a keeper. :)
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He's definitely a keeper :) He likes that size too which makes me feel better about it.
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I too struggled with the size, the complications and the pictures I constantly looked at. Then I realized I just want full nice looking breasts. I don't want to be stared at but I want to look womanly. I never was over a B cup even through all my pregnancies. I did the rice thing, have you done that? With the nylons. I measured out what CC's we came up with and wore them around town, out to dinner to the grocery store etc. No one stared at me and I felt really good with them in. Try that, then make your decision. You will drive yourself nuts looking at pictures. Everyone is different. Bottom line, what do you want? I wanted fuller looking breasts that didn't disappear when I laid on my back. I wanted a nice full pole on the top and rounded fullness on the bottom side. I had some sagging so i wanted full profile to bring those puppies up a bit. I am post op day 3 and very happy with the results so far. They are shaping up quite nicely. I am very glad I didn't go bigger and I was struggling with that too.

sorry your parent's are being very supportive. when it comes down to it, it's all about you and what you want. My mother has decided to brag to all that come visit her!! I finally had to tell her to stop telling people (it was upsetting my bf).

good luck with you and your decision!
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I haven't tried the rice thing. I don't really have much time at home or outside of work to try it and I think I might die if it fell out on one of my patients at work!

My mom is being totally supportive now that she's sure I'm doing it for me and not my boyfriend. My dad is still convinced it's not going to give me the happiness I'm looking for. Eh, what do men know anyway?

Thanks for the advice!
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I'm sure people think the same thing about me, but I am SO happy! And I've wanted this for so long. My bf was totally supportive..(he likes big boobs lol) My parents are fine with it now, and if anyone isn't...then too bad! Although, I'm sure my work isn't thrilled since I haven't been back yet! UGH..but let me tell you, still stretching out my arm HURTS!
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I actually told my mom about it first. They've been upset because I have a full back tattoo. She was totally ok with an aug though until my dad started with the 'your body is a temple' thing. I told him that even temples need remodeling sometimes ;)
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That is wonderful!! It's such an exciting feeling..believe me, I know! Your parents need to understand that it's your body, if you are having issues, you're unhappy, depressed etc, then you're doing what you need to do. I am so happy with my choice to get the implants. I really was surprised how cool my mom was with it to be honest. Although, I didn't tell her, my dad did. lol
I got 400cc Mod Plus profile unders. I kind of wish I had gone a little bigger, but since I already had some breast tissue, I'm a good size. Take a look at my profile pictures & see. Good luck..can't wait to read more!
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And thank YOU for starting your story with us on RealSelf. Here's a great list of what to set up and buy before surgery. Please keep us posted!

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Good luck to you! Seems like you have really done your research! Some things you need are zip front sports bras, button on tops, jammies & bottoms that are easy in & easy out. Flexible straws are heaven, make sure your meds are easily accessible and don't worry about the little things. Sleep as much as you can post op! Also, don't do too much, you may think you can, but let your body heal.
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