Back to me and feel totally free and natural - Folsom, CA

I've had Sientra Silicone 320cc implants under the...

I've had Sientra Silicone 320cc implants under the muscle for 11 weeks. It's been a rough road. I immediately had multiple issues, not so much with the implants, but with my body from the implants and I've had enough.

I have a brachial plexus (nerve) injury from the surgery
still have side effects from the general anesthesia (hormones out of whack, numbness and tingling in feet, anxiety, feeling weak, etc.)
constant headaches
backaches
arms hurt
Costochondritis
and just feel overall weak and crappy all day.

I was in the best shape of my life before this surgery. I had just run a marathon and got my taekwondo black belt in the months prior. I was kicking ass. Thought this would be a quick recovery and I'd get back to life soon. Who knew that the tummy tuck part of this mommy makeover would have been the easier part...

I wanted to do this to enhance my life, not ruin it, so out they are coming!!

I meet with my PS tomorrow and will schedule asap. We talked briefly about it at my last appointment and he said it's a quick procedure, no need to do anything but take them out. However, I do have to have sedation. I just don't want to go under again. My body does not like medication and especially not anesthesia. I wish I could just do local and pop a valium or something. I will be begging for that and see if he will in any way consider it.

My husband also finally confessed that he really didn't want me to have it done in the first place. WHAT??!!! I wish he had told me that to begin with. I must have asked him 1,000 times if I should do this or not. He just told me what he thought I wanted to hear. Makes me mad. I was partially doing this for him and have hung on to them this long because I thought he liked them. I just wish he had been honest. Would have saved me thousands of dollars and potentially permanent problems from my nerve damage and other issues I'm now having. UGH!

PS thinks that because I've only had them in for 3 months they should go back to normal.
I'm wondering if the muscle will also heal and stop moving everytime I lift anything or flex my pec muscle. Does anyone have any comments about this? I hate that my breast moves everytime I do anything.

I know that even though I want them out badly, I am going to be in shock when I look at them. It's now hard to even remember what they used to look like. I'm going to upload before implants, with implants and then after my procedure photos for comparison.

I just want to be done with this and move on.

Explant scheduled for 7/19

I met with my PS today. It was so bittersweet. He's been supportive every step of the way and I have a great surgical result. My body is just having so many problems adapting to the implants and I'm tired of trying to make them work. I did finally say that it was probably best that I just remove them rather than going to a smaller size as I may still be unhappy and have trouble with smaller implants and may end up removing them anyway. I was very emotional today, but I know it's what I really need to do.

So, no I'm gearing up for surgery again and getting off any supplements and vitamins, motrin, etc that is on my forbidden list and getting my post op stuff together.

I'm so happy I didn't get rid of my pre op sports bras, I'll be needing them now!! I had a few that were very expensive and my favorites and was going to list them on eBay and I snatched those out of the box and they are back in my drawer! Under Armour Armor Bra and my Moving Comfort Bras are my favs.

So, I'm doing a simple removal, no capsule removal, no drains with local and a light IV sedation. I'd do it without the IV as I am not looking forward to those meds again, but he won't do it without.

Will take a few days of recovering and a few weeks off of running again.

Then I hope to be on the road to healing and hope all of my troubles with nerves, back pain, neck pain, etc start to retreat.

Back to basics and I'm ok with that. I just wish it was sooner, but with the 4th of July holiday, they are booked up until then. 3 more weeks with these boobs...

Thoughts about removing capsule?

I am starting to wonder if I should also be having the capsule removed since I have silicone. I am trying to read about it and finding all kinds of different answers. Some doctors say to leave it, no problem. Others say it causes problems later. Some say that if some toxins leached out from the implant shell, it will be in the tissue and may cause problems. Can I detox from that? I have so many questions. Does anyone have any comments on this??

I feel like I'm car shopping... If I'm buying a new Honda, all I see is Hondas!!

So, i was at Six Flags today and of course, with tank tops and skimpy shirts everywhere, I was looking at boobs all day. Funny how my perspective has changed. I really noticed that all the small breasted women were really more sporty, feminine and attractive than the women with larger breasts that were bouncing and hanging out of their tops. I can't wait to go back to the IBTC once again! I hope these three weeks hurry up and fly by!!

Sometimes Doctors just don't understand

So, I asked a question about the capsule removal on RS and several doctors responded. They gave great answers and nearly all agreed that I didn't need to have them out. However, I had one doctor give me a reply that really floored me.

"You have had an excellent result and there is absolutely no correlation between your back pain, neck pain, etc. and your implants. However, if psychologically it will satisfy you to have them removed, yes there is no need to have the capsules removed as well, especially if they are soft. I would leave them in place because there is a good chance that you will regret having had your implants removed and will want to have them back, in which case it will be easier to re-insert them with the capsule intact."

Wow, I love how he knows my back pain isn't related. Funny, the three other doctors that I see say that it's directly related to the weight of the implants and my posture because of them. I thought it was funny that he thought I would have them replaced again later anyway. Are you kidding me? I am not going to go through all that I've gone through and have another surgery to put these things back in when I can hardly wait to get them out.

Anyway, just had to vent. I read that response and was left shaking my head. I'm so glad to have several of my own doctors and friends and of course all of you wonderful ladies on here that understand where I am coming from and that I'm not imagining that my neck and back pain are from the implants and that I didn't make the decision lightly to have them put in or have them removed. Now I just can't wait to have the out! 16 more days and counting...

Surgery is 7 days away!

I went in for my pre-op today getting ready for my July 19th surgery and guess what? They had an opening on the 16th woohoo! I can be implant free even sooner than I thought!

They took my vitals, went over post op info, gave me my prescriptions for post op pain meds, paid for the procedure and bam, pre-op done. That was fast!

Things are much easier the second time around. I'm not even nervous. I'm more excited to just get this done.

I asked questions about using my arms and muscles after surgery. He said it will be similar to the BA when I needed to not lift anything heavy for a few days. He said to take it easy the first week and wear my tight sports bra at all times and try to sleep on my back. This is all to help avoid any bleeding or fluid accumulation in the capsule.

He also told me he will be scoring the capsule to help promote it healing back together, I was happy about that.

I'm ready to get this done and move on with my life. Boobs have taken over way too much over the last 6 months. Now I just need to work on not feeling so guilty about all the energy and money spent on this entire process. I feel so bad about it. We have bills to pay and things are piling up and I spent so much on boobs, it's really disappointing. I know that this must have been a lesson I needed to learn, but gosh, I wish I could have learned it in a less expensive way.

I will be doing some cooking and cleaning over the next week so I won't have much to do after. Hubby is going to take that day off of work so he can drive me to and from and help me after. I don't think I'll need much help the day after. I'll be sore and need to rest, but my 9 year old can do many things on his own.

So, until I'm on the flat side, ciao for now!

Tomorrow is the big day...

For the first time in my whole life, I can say that I'm excited about surgery tomorrow. I am so ready to have these implants out and can't wait to be on the other side and putting this whole thing behind me. I had a long (30 min) talk with my anesthesiologist, she is awesome. I told her about all the awful side effects I had with the GA and we talked about the IV sedation. She is going to really start with just a tiny bit to relax me and they may be all I need. I'm glad she is being so understanding about not wanting to just knock me out. I know I would be more comfortable, but my body doesn't like the meds and I just don't want them. I would go straight local if my PS would do it, but he won't.

So, I'm picking up my meds today and getting ready. I've taken care of all the house stuff, yard work, cooking food for the family and now I just need to get through one more nights sleep and be at the office tomorrow at 8am.

I will update as soon as I can and let you all know how it goes.

Thanks for all the support on here, it has really helped me. :-)

Yay! They're out and I feel fantastic!

Just got home from my surgery. Everything went great. Had very light IV sedation to relax me, but I was awake through the whole thing. There wasn't even much tugging and pulling. I am still numb, but have no pain or anything. I did not have the capsules removed, but he did score them so they would heal together better. I'm taped and in a tight sports bra.

I took a quick peek at them and they look just as they did before, just a little jelly like and squishy.

I'll take pics as soon as I can.

Post op in 1 week.

Thank you ladies for all of your support. It meant the world to me and I was thinking of all of you as I was going in for surgery.

Time to get something to eat, drink and take a nap!!

Day 1 Pics

The tape is going to be here for a week, helping to support my poor jellies, but you can get an idea of what I have left. It is very soft and squishy.

Day 2

Had them out yesterday. I found out that I felt so awesome yesterday because I was still numb. It lasted almost 12 hours. Had an ok night. Slept with pillows all around. Quite sore today, but nothing I can't handle. I'm pretty tolerant, so sticking with Tylenol even though Vicodin would make me more comfortable. Hate that stuff. I'm just in love with being back to me. I love how much smaller I am in the mirror. I feel more proportioned now. I feel slimmer.

I told myself that my reward for loving myself enough to go back to natural is going to be pretty bras. I'm never wearing a plain squishy bra that is unflattering again. I would just throw on anything sometimes, no wonder I didn't like them. Thankfully I got rid of all of those after BA, so I'll be making a stop at Nordstrom and VS soon for some pretty stuff for my poor jellies. They are not to be neglected anymore. I feel so bad for what I put them through.

I found an awesome bra at target yesterday. None of my old sports bras were fitting right under my breasts, they were pressing on my incisions. I'll take a pic of it so you can see it. It was $20, but worth every penny. So comfy. And I can wear it after healing since it stretches. Went from a large to a small in a day!!

I thank all of you wonderful ladies for the support. It sure has made this process easier. My husband can only tolerate so much talking about the same thing over and over, so I'm glad I have RS to go too when I needed the support. I'll update more later. Happy healing to all!!

4 days post op

It's been 4 days. things are definitely improving. I had to remove the large tape from underneath because the gauze that was under the tape got wet and wasn't drying after my shower. I called the PS and they said to remove it rather than let it stay wet.

I've been up and down over the last few days, more ups than downs though and getting better every day. I can't wait for the incisions to stop hurting. It's hard to wear a bra because it presses on it.

We are headed out, so just a quick update and pics. Hope you are all well.

Oops, almost forgot.

I finally got up the nerve to show hubby while I was in the shower. With a pleasant look he said, they look nice. That's a big compliment from him. I'll take it!!!

Added a side by side comparison

Here is a side by side comparison of me at about 6 months ago before my BA and me yesterday at 4 days post op. Funny how my nips are riding higher now than they were before. I'm sure that will change...

Favorite sports bra

This is my favorite bra I have found to be most comfortable since explant.

2 weeks post op already - new pics

Wow, it's been two weeks. Time has flown. Feels like I had these out months ago since I am back to feeling pretty normal and doing all my normal stuff for the most part. I'm still taking things a little easier than I would have, but don't have any pain. I still have a little aching sometimes around my incisions, but the sutures have not dissolved yet. I massage them with coconut oil every night before bed.

I took pics yesterday at 14 days. I really don't think much has changed. They may have shrunk just a little now that all the swelling is gone, but they look like they used to look before I had implants. The only permanent thing that I am going to deal with is of course the scar, but also the muscle changes. My muscles seem to grab the bottom of my breast and pull it up about an inch when I flex my pec muscles, which of course is all the time. It's amazing how much you really use those muscles. I hate that they make my boobs jump around. I wonder if I will ever be able to do chest exercises ever again, or even push ups.

Last December, after three years of hard work, I tested for my black belt in Taekwondo. For that test, I had to do 100 pushups, from my toes. I don't think I could even do one now. It makes me sad. I know 1000's of women do this surgery every year, I just wish I hadn't ever done it. I hope that the muscles get better with time and doesn't do this quite as much, I just don't know. I also am not sure if working them more would help, or just not working them at all. I'll have to experiment when I'm released to do more.

I am not supposed to run until next Thursday, but I help coach my sons cross country and struggle with not running with the kids. I ran at practice on Tuesday and I took my son for another 2 miler yesterday. I just strap them down and go! Everything seems to be fine. They never hurt at all.

I feel so glad I took these things out of me, my body really did not like them. Now I just have to get used to the permanent changes and accept them as my new normal. I somehow got caught up in the whole plastic surgery enhancement thing and regret the whole thing. I had an entire mommy makeover at the time I had my BA and am still having issues with my tummy, well mainly numbness. My skin is all numb over my whole stomach and it's bothersome. I really wish I had left my body alone. I didn't need the enhancements, they were really just small tweaks, but have left me with some pretty major permanent issues to live with. I guess I'm feeling a little down today. I almost feel depressed at times that I did this to myself. yes, things look fine. My stomach is completely flat, my breasts are back to normal, it's my mind that needs to heal. I think it will just take time.

I'm sharing all of this so that anyone considering this knows that the roller coaster still takes some time to go away. I don't miss my implants AT ALL. So happy to be back to me. Emotions just take time.

I hope everyone is doing well. I've enjoyed seeing all the other stories on here. RS is an amazing platform for all of us going through this craziness.

Muscle Deformity with flexing

I know many of you that had unders are going through the same thing dealing with the crazy muscles jumping all around whenever you use your pecs. When I do this in front of the mirror, it almost looks like the muscle is grabbing the incision and taking it with it as it flexes up. It's hard to explain, so I took pics. Just wondering if this is how yours looks too when you flex.

One more pic side by side

I really hope this improves when the sutures dissolve. They are still there under the skin and I hope that is part of the what is grabbing and pulling up. You can really see the tension on the incision as it moved up, like it's stuck to the muscle underneath. If it wasn't attached under the skin, it seems it would just lay there and the muscle would move back and forth under it. I don't if that is the case, but here's hoping...

workout update

Well, My PS told me I could start running at my 3 week mark, which is tomorrow. My 4th grader started school today and I just couldn't help myself, I had to go for a run. It is part of my normal routine, or what used to be my routine. I would drop off kids at school, then go for a run or cycling. So, I took my son to school, met his new teacher and came home and laced up my shoes and ran 6 miles!! I'm not as fast as I was before, but it still felt amazing. I'm sure I will be sore. My shins hurt already. I haven't run this well since before my mommy makeover in April, those big boobs were just keeping me from being able to breath. It felt amazing to be able to run and breath and not have to be strapped into that ridiculously huge sports bra. I'm only a day early and I feel ok, so I hope I didn't do anything too bad.

I just wanted to post an update. It feels so good to get back out there. Maybe tomorrow I will go cycling!!
Shahriar Mabourakh, MD, FACS

Dr. Mabourakh was my original surgeon for my mommy makeover and he did a great job. I'm not explanting because of anything that he did. His staff is always courteous and supportive. I had an excellent result, but they just aren't for me. I would recommend him again to anyone thinking of having plastic surgery.

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OMGoodness! Reading your post felt like I was reading something I wrote myself! I'm 11 weeks today, and I am having mine explanted as well. I regretted my decision from day 1 post-op. I had bad depression afterwards, back pain, difficult sleeping (since I'm a former :( tummy sleeper, etc. I take lots of vitamins and LOVE working out...what was I thinking putting this toxic junk in my body! I have gained weight from emotional eating and not being able to work out like I use to! :( I'm just so mad at myself!! I'm encouraged though, because you look great! Thanks for sharing your story!!
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I'm so sorry to hear that you too regret having them in . It's funny how your thinking can be all one way one minute, then completely different the next. I don't even like the way fake boobs look on other people anymore! Thanks for reading my story, I am glad that it helped you.
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Wondering if all your arm problems (brachial plexus, weakness and ect..) resolved after implant removal? I am having some issues with nerve pain running from my rt armpit to my hand. Valium seems to resolve it, but I'm not going to live on Valium. Breasts aren't worth it. I am 7 weeks out and the arm nerve pain didn't start until last week, but has been pretty constant. Kinda freaking me out and trying to stay calm.
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Dakota I had the same issue but it resolved within a few weeks!
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So sorry for the delay in responding. For some reason I didn't get your post Dakota, I only saw it after Sammie15 responded. Anyway, I am probably 90% better. I still have occasional tingling in my hands, especially my right and I deal with tightness in my back and pectoral muscles. I'm almost a year out from explant and I'm thinking I might be stuck like this forever, but hoping the remaining nerve pain will heal. After many, many doctors, physical therapists, etc., it came down to my muscles were most likely clamping down on the nerves at the brachial plexus. When my pectoral muscles or muscles under the scapula get tight, it starts the process again and I get tingling and arm pain. IT's frustrating to say the least. I am finding that massages are the best way to get rid of it. I also roll out my back muscles with a foam roller which also helps. I would never have thought about my back, but now understanding more about it, the muscles are all connected. My pec muscles did not like being stretched out to make room for the implants. The part that I am most disappointed with is the distortion I still have when flexing pec muscles. It's creepy and feels awful when trying to do pushups. I can't even attempt a pull up, just feels like muscles are tearing. I wish you the best of luck and hope yours takes care of itself when the muscles adjust to the changes.
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Hi, you look great post op. Is that the original quote he gave u for the procedure? I've been wanting to remove mine but it cost so much more because they are silicone vs saline.. Any info would be greatly appreciated!
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Hi MissZ where do you live? I was able to explant mine in Orange County. But like you said its more costly to explant if they are silicone since you need general anesthesia.
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Hi FaithandHope11 ;) thanks for your response, I live in San Diego.
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Hi MissZ - Thanks for the compliment. They are feeling and looking pretty good now, it's been 8 months, but the muscle issue still bugs me. This is the quote I got from my surgeon about 2 months after they were put in. I did not have general anesthesia, didn't want it at all. I had a LIGHT sedation and local. I was awake for the whole thing, felt the injections and a few others things, but I didn't care. I wanted them out and the general anesthesia was horrible on my body. I think the difference might be how long you've had them and if they are removing the pocket. Mine were new so he just scored the pocket. Hope that helps. Good luck with your explant, it was the best thing I ever did.
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Hey! How are you? How is your muscle issue evolving?
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Hi, thanks for checking in. I am continuing to improve. I feel totally healed from everything except the muscle issue. It is getting better, but I think there will always be a strange movement and pulling feeling when I flex that muscle. It was affected my strength with many things and I've had to stop doing pushups and any chest exercises for now. I'm hoping that in a few months, I can start that again, but since I've stopped doing anything, they seem to be getting better faster. I think had I had them above the muscle, I wouldn't even know I had anything done, but the muscle is forever damaged. It's kind of sad. I also still have some numbness on my skin, but that too is improving. I hope you continue to heal. It's too bad that surgeons don't tell you about this problem before you get your surgery... Good luck with your healing.
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Did the look improve with time? I'm really upset and sad, thinking it will be forever like that.
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The look of the distortion or breasts? The distortion looks a little less drastic, but still there. I think it always will be. My breasts sprung back into the same shape they were before surgery. Hope that helps.
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Hi from your pictures I can see you are back to normal except for the muscle, did ur ps tell you why this happens? And how can it be corrected
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What did they do to you for the local part? I'm getting just local and I'm terrified but it's all I can afford!
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Hey girl, keep updating on whether the muscle shift gets any better. That's one of my main concerns also. I'm hoping it gets better in time. Do u at least feel the shift less with the implant out? I can feel it big time with my implant in.
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Hey! I can't tell from your pics, but did you experience loss of any upper pole fullness you had pre-augmentation after removal/ a slight dip in that area? And if so, did it fill in?
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I didn't have a lot of upper pole fullness prior to BA. I don't think that's a natural occurring thing with natural breasts. It's something I only seem to notice with people who have had implants. My breasts went back to what they were before. I think they may even be slightly fuller. Might be that I haven't been able to do as much upper body stuff or that I've gained 3 or 4 pounds, I don't know, but I'll take it! I don't have a dip, it's just smushy :-) I am happy with being back to where they were. I don't know why I ever thought anything was wrong with them. Hope you are healing well. It was a big change after, but I quickly got back to liking the new/old me and I'm so happy I had them out. Hope that helps.
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When are you cleared to do upper body work outs? I'd really like to build chest muscle to give an illusion of an upper pole/ define my cleavage area. I feel like it'll probably be a long while though...
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I am 5 weeks post op tomorrow. Still not cleared; probably another 4 weeks. I'm in no rush...as long as I can get some cardio in I'm willing to wait! Don't want to mess up anything....I waited too long for this LOL!
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Mommy!! When were you cleared to workout? Running at 3 weeks? But could you possibly have done any kinda lower body stuff before then? I'm soo impatient. My poor booty is getting flat as I've been sitting on it crying over my tits all summer lol!! I can't wait to squat and hit the stairmaster.
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Running started at 3 weeks, but I was cleared to work out at 1 week, just doing walking and light stuff. He said I could do easy leg workouts, but wanted to keep any bouncing to a minimum until 3 weeks. Bouncing is still a little uncomfortable, so I strap those puppies down tight and hit the road! Ran 8 miles today and cycling 30+ tomorrow. Feels great to get back out there. I still feel a bit weak in my upper body. Not doing any chest exercises at all for several months. Not sure how long I have to wait for that. I lost a lot of fitness, but it's slowly coming back.
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Perfect!! I may do a little light stairmaster action this weekend! I won't over do it, but I need to start feeling normal :)
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Tomorrow is my day...11am. I'm so nervous! I was excited earlier, but now I'm terrified. I just don't know what to expect. I'm just hoping it'll be okay. I hope I haven't ruined my body permanently.
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The day before was crazy for me too. I just tried to stay busy and keep my mind off of it and before I knew it, it was over. Good luck tomorrow. It will take some time to heal, but everything will work itself out and you will soon be able to put this all behind you. I look forward to your updates after!
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