“Mommy Makeover - Florida”

Hello to all of you wonderful ladies out there. I am a 34 years old, 5'5", and I fluctuate between 140-145 lbs. I am a mother of 4 children; ages 11, 7, and 5 y/o twins. My husband and I have been married 12 years and together for 16. He is a military man. It is hard being separated for long periods at a time (he is currently TDY now), but we have a strong marriage and make it work. We have lived in OK, AK, Germany, AZ, England, and now FL. We've only been in FL for a few weeks, but I am loving it. Life would be even better if I could actually feel good in a bathing suit. We are very close to the beach.

I am planning on a TT, BA, and liposuction of the hips and thighs. I have always been small up top and have wanted BA since I was in my early 20's, but I didn't want to do it until after children. I always have known that I wanted to be a mother and breastfeeding was important to me. I didn't want to take any chance of surgery interfering with my ability to nurse my babies. I fully breastfed all of my children, including the twins, for 18 months each. The only time in my life that I was a c cup was when I was engorged the first couple of weeks after the twins were born, but that's it. Usually, I'm a AA cup and I only grew to an A cup during pregnancy and breastfeeding. I guess one good thing about that is they're not too saggy.

Genetics and motherhood has given me a pear shaped body. Clothes have never really fit well on me. If my jeans fit in the legs and butt, they were always very big in the waist. It's hard to find flattering tops. Even with padded bras, I still look small especially compared to my bigger butt and hips.

My husband has always said that he liked my butt. I think he says that because I never had much on top.

I have worn a Spanx compression tank (the Incognito Slim one--a bit tighter than the other Spanx) since the twins were about one year old to try and hide my belly. It gets pretty uncomfortable and hot in the summer, but I feel so naked without it. It helps to hold everything in, but I am so tired of wearing it.

Honestly, I've never really felt sexy or all too good about the way I look. Even when I was in my early 20's and only weighed 118 lbs, I wore a shirt over my bathing suit. I was slim, but I never had boobs.

I have spent so much of my time taking care of other people. When I was a kid, my step-mother was a home day care provider. Often, I could not play with my friends because I had to help her. When I was 18, I became a CNA and worked in a nursing home. Then, I became a nurse, wife, and mother. So much of my time is focused on taking care of other people that I feel it's finally time to do something for myself.

I've been researching plastic surgery for a little over a year now. I wanted to do it shortly after we moved to a new place before I got to know a lot of people. I just don't want everyone to know I had plastic surgery. This is for me and no one else. I don't want to be talked about or gawked at or judged for it. Not that I really care what other people think of me or I'm embarrassed by it. It's just personal.

I had my consultation appt on 13 September. The doc took a lot of pictures of me. He used digital imaging to give me a pretty good idea of what I'll look like after the surgery. Looking at my expected results, I wanted the surgery more than ever. I was bummed when the finance lady gave me the projected cost. It was a lot more than my husband and I were hoping for. Looking at other people's cost, mine does seem to be high. Maybe it's our location? Maybe my doc is a bit more experienced and costly? I didn't even think of going for another consultation with a different doc. I really liked the one I saw. I feel comfortable with him. Plus, he has his own surgery center and no overnight stay. I am a nurse, but I hate hospitals and I hate being the patient.

My surgery is scheduled for 10 October. Five days after I turn 35. My husband will be back on 01 October. He is taking a week off from work. I'm confident that by week 2, even though I know I'll be sore, I'll be able to at least get the kids back and forth to school. I'm planning on starting a new job on 24 October (2 weeks post op). I don't have much choice. We need that second income. Hopefully, I'll have my drains removed by then.

I haven't told my kids anything about the surgery yet. My girls are ages 11, 7, and 5. My son is the other 5 y/o twin. I worry about what kind of message am I giving my girls? I've always tried not to pick at myself in front of them and have told them that what matters most is what's in the inside. Now I feel like a total hippocrit.

I also feel guilty. Guilty for spending so much money on myself, guilty for delaying working, guilty for not being able to take care of the house and kids. I have always done 95% of the house work and taking care of the kids (my husband admits to that), and I do 100% when he's deployed or TDY. I've never had a supportive family or even been close to family for them to help me when he's gone. I don't want to feel like I'm burdening my husband.

Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Thank you for sharing all of your stories. I have enjoyed reading them, and it helps to know what to expect.

I will try to get some before pictures up early next week.

Updated on 26 Sep 2011:
Pictures added. They were difficult to take. Since my hubs is still away, I took them with the mirror and right after having lunch. I also took some with my clothes since that is what other people see. I am wearing the padded bra from Victoria Secret, but you can tell how small I still am. I am also wearing my Spanx, which really helps to hold in the belly. I can't believe I'm posting naked pictures of myself on the internet, but you ladies make me feel comfortable.

Updated on 26 Sep 2011:
I meant to say the padded bra from VS that is supposed to add 2 cup sizes.

Updated on 28 Sep 2011:
I had my pre-op appointment today. The first thing I had to do was pay. Then, I had to sign a bunch of surgery consent forms. After that, I saw the nurse. She went over everything with me; I didn't see the doc at all. I was cool with that. I have my complete faith that these people know what they are doing, and they do it very well. I have done so much research that I couldn't think of many questions. Plus, she explained things well. I wasn't offered to try on different implant sizers, not that I needed to. I am very sure of the size I want. I will be getting 500 (!) cc silicone implants. They will be the moderate plus profile. My lipo is not just inner and outer thighs, but complete thighs-including knees. I'm so very excited about that! Maybe I can wear skinny jeans that I haven't been able to wear since I was a kid. I love the look of skinny jeans and high heels, but I wouldn't be caught dead in a pair with my current legs/hips/butt. The lipo on my hips and thighs will give my butt a better shape. Good news for the hubs who is a butt man. I have to wear a garment that goes from right under my boobs to the middle of my calves for 6 weeks. I can't take it off at all for a week, but I can shower with it after day 2. They said I can just towel or blow dry it. Weird to think of taking a shower with my clothes on. After a week, I can take it off to wash it. I will also have a binder on the tops of my boobs a couple of inches above my nipple to help push them down. I will have 2 drains that hopefully will be removed week 2 or sooner. I am getting Demerol for pain, since I'm allergic to Percocet. No Valium. Phenergan for nausea. That's about it. I dropped off my scripts to be filled. I also had to do blood work to check for anemia.

I have been feeling really bad about myself the past couple of days. I'm about to start my period and feeling really fat and ugly :( I hate feeling this way. I usually am a positive person.

Only about 12 more days to go! I think I have let go of the guilt, and I'm getting super duper excited. I am ready (emotionally)!

Updated on 29 Sep 2011:
I have a job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck, Ladies! This is the one I want. A new body and possibly my dream job all in the same month? That so totally rocks! Hubs comes home on Saturday. Yay!!!

Updated on 4 Oct 2011:
Such great things are happening to me right now. I got my dream job. Not only is it the work that I want to do, but my boss is super flexible with my hours. I can work some at the hospital and some at home. This means, I don't have to worry about before and after school child care for the kids at all. I can work and yet still be with them. I am so lucky and feel like I'll have the best of both worlds--working and stay at home mom.

Hubs came home on Saturday. It's great having him back.

My birthday is tomorrow! Yay, 35. I feel like I'm in the prime of my life. I have such a wonderful family. Hubs is my best friend. The kids are all at such a great age. I'm enjoying motherhood and watching them grow up.

My surgery is less than a week away. I've stopped obsessing about it so much. I feel ready. I've filled my scripts, did my labs, bought some lounge clothes, got some body pillows and books. I will stop by the library later this week and check out a bunch of DVD's. This weekend I'll clean and go grocery shopping.

I'm really happy with my life and to realize that I'm going to feel even happier and more confident about myself is so awesome. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful life?

Updated on 6 Oct 2011:
OK, so I thought I was emotionally ready for the surgery but I'm getting really nervous again. I go on Monday, and I feel that there is still so much to do.

Hubs can't take off of work completely that first week like I thought. He will be off on Monday (Columbus Day), but the rest of the week he will take the kids to school, go to work, then pick them up and come home. He has been on edge lately (new job, money, moving), and I'm worried that the kids and I will be too much for him to take care of. He's used to me doing everything around the house and for the kids. I pray this all works out well for all of us.

Updated on 12 Oct 2011:
Today is my second day post-op. I am very sore. My boobs look HUGE and swollen. I only got a peek of my belly when I saw the doc yesterday. It looks great from what I can tell.

I'm going to have to post more later. My pain meds just kicked in, and it's hard to concentrate.

Updated on 17 Oct 2011:
One week post-op.

I had just typed a long update, and for some reason the site kicked me off.

I'm changing my vote to "not worth it" for the time being.

It's been one week and I'm regretting this whole thing. I have been so miserable. I'm in constant pain, I feel like I look like the bride of Frankenstein, my face, hands, legs from hip to toe are super swollen, I walk like an old woman, I have tons of bruising (even in my feet--why? from the massive swelling?), I can't take care of my family like I want, I barely have left the house (I can't put on a pair of shoes from the swelling). My boobs hurt, my back hurts, my belly hurts, my legs from hip to toe hurt. This really, really sucks.

I want to return to the land of the living. I want to start my new job next week, but it's doubtful that I can. I'm supposed to go in this week to do a drug test and more paperwork, but I can't even put on a pair of shoes. Plus, I have drain tubes hanging on me and the only thing that fits is a pair of sweat pants that are one size up my pre-op size.

When does this get better? I was no way prepared for all of this. Some people almost make it all look so easy.

Updated on 19 Oct 2011:
9 days post-op

Hi, Ladies. I am feeling much better today. I saw the doc Monday afternoon. He says everything looks great, even the swelling. The bruising in my feet is due to the lipo. Doc says it'll even travel to my toes. The swelling in my face and hands is gone--progress! My boobs are still hard and sore, but they have dropped a little. My nipples no longer point to the floor. I have another appointment on Friday. I am hoping to get my drains out. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I am doing much better emotionally. Over the weekend and through Monday, I was at an all time low. My husband actually moved us into a new house last week. I was left alone most of the time at the rental house. I think between being alone and not being able to help with all of the work of moving and the kids, I just felt helpless and mad at myself. I was also putting a lot of pressure on myself to recover so I can start my job and help out financially, especially after creating such a large bill. Well, it turns out that Human Resources couldn't process all of my paperwork to start me next Monday. I have a couple of more weeks to heal, and I still get my dream job. Money is going to be very tight, but hubs has a plan and at least I should be getting a paycheck in time to do some Christmas shopping.

Thank you for those that posted. It really helped to have some support. I wanted to have the surgery soon after we moved to a new place that way to try and avoid the judgmental people, but it's been rough not having anyone. I'm starting to rejoin the land of the living (thank God). I went to the grocery store Monday evening, took the kids to their dentist appointments yesterday and I've cooked dinner the past couple of nights. It feels good to be taking care of them again.

Updated on 24 Oct 2011:
14 days post-op

Hi, Ladies! I'm feeling really good. I think that I would've been fine to start my new job today. The first few days is classroom and computer training.

What a difference one week has made in my recovery! I got my drains out on Friday. That hurt!! It felt like someone was pulling out my intestines. There was a lot of gunk on the tubes. The infection probably make it a bit more sore. Doc gave me some antibiotics to clear it up. It was so nice to be free of those drains. My incision looks really good! It's just a very thin slightly pink line. I was also very lucky with my c-section scar. After it was fully healed, you can barely even see it. During the weekend, the swelling in my legs started to go away. I knew it when I was up all night peeing. My legs look and feel so much better! I'm wearing a pair of pre-op jeans today and they are baggy! How exciting. I probably still have some swelling in my legs because so far, I can't see my cellulite at all. As far as I know, liposuction doesn't take away cellulite. One can only hope that they were the exception. The boobs are still sore and a bit high, but I'm liking the fullness. So is hubs:) I'm walking fully upright. That is helping so much with the back pain. My energy levels aren't back to normal; I want to take little naps during the day, but what a huge improvement from last week. The bruising in my legs has improved, but I'd like to to totally go away before posting pics. My twins walked in on me yesterday while I was stepping out of the shower. I had been avoiding them seeing my body at all since surgery because I didn't want to scare them. They were concerned at first, but I told them that it looks much worse (mostly all of the bruising) than it feels and it will all go away soon. They were cool with that. None of the kids have really commented that my boobs are bigger. When I told them about the surgery, I had mostly focused on the belly.

I can't wait to see how I look and feel next week! I'm beginning to change my vote to "worth it."