never again

I came back on here tonight after many years.I thought I would update my story for all those still suffering. It is funny how botox has a 96 % worth it rating now.I see so many of the same stories that were my normal many years ago when I was suffering on a day to day basis. That percentage seems way off? Anyways,for all you who are suffering,I am so sorry.
I know what it is like,believe me I do.i was in a dark place for so many years.i made a real friend on RS who was always available to me and I credit her for saving my life on my darkest days. It is now over 7 years since my nightmare and i am so much better! This is the good news you all need to hear!.i got better ,but it was painfully slow.my experience was full of ups and downs.id see improvements ,then see negative changes in my face.It took a long time to be comfortable and see my old face again.I'd have to say it was a good 4 years.i still believe I look a little different than if I never touched the poison,but i try and not dwell On it.i am ok now.i want you to all know this .you will get better.hold off on surgery. Give your body time to heal.it takes a very long time.learn from this .live a healthy ,natural life. I still am doing Carolyn's facial fitness to keep my facial muscles strong. That is what you want to do to keep your face firm. I hope this update gives you all hope.hugs to all suffering. Xo

Almost 25 weeks now and it is still a roller coaseter ride w/ good days followed by bad days. I still have cheek ptsosis and lack of muscle tone on my left side of my face, from under my eye to the bottom of my nose, with saggy , wrinkly skin that slopes downwards. Now my forehead is looking worse and I thought it was going to stay the way it was. The skin between my eyebrows is puffy and I can actually see the injection spots where I was given the botox in my glabella area. They are raised dots...crazy. My right upper brow is now falling inwards giving me almost an "11" look which I DID NOT have before. I push it up and it just falls towards the center above my nose. This is really depressing to me . I thought I was only dealing with my saggy,baggy eyes and cheek, but now this happens. My skin quality is horrible,too, even though I drink a gallon of water a day and eat clean all the time. I am thinking about starting Retin A to improve my skin quality/tone and thickness. I am also rubbing/ massaging my loose forehead skin . Saga continues. I looked back at my "before" pictures this morning and wanted to cry. Hope everyone is doing well. xo

update as of 23 weeks post botox.. I wanted to update my review/experience for anyone who stumbles upon this and can relate. I had been dealing with a left eye issue as far as sagginess and bags goes until about a week ago when I noticed that above my brows(especially over my left one) I have arches(muscles) that are constantly elevated. throw that ontop of my baggy,crepey eye and bam..it is not pretty and I am pretty sad. I have been sick this past week and avoiding all medicine in fear that it will make me look worse. Tough week not being able to work out and look a little better after each workout/cardio session. I just got back from grocery shopping and like I always do, look at older women in their 50's and up who look better than me right now. Depressing. I guess this is all just part of . I have been thinking about going to my plastic surgeon for just a consult, but am holding off because I am scared I might collapse mentally and wind up getting more of this toxin like I did 23 weeks ago. God give me strength. I am trying to be more than just my looks and remind myself that there are so many out there who are so much worse off than I am. It will wear off ...It has to. I find myself sometimes feeling like my old self and pretty, but sadly am reminded of my reality like when I pass a mirror and . Sigh...