My Breast Implant Removal Journey - United Kingdom, GB

I have had implants 20 years ago and to be honest...

I have had implants 20 years ago and to be honest I have been very happy with the look that they gave me;feminine and womanly...
Recently I felt pain in my left breast like an aching and so having booked into the NHS local hospital, was told I had capsule contraction in the left boob. I was told that the leakage was retained in the capsule which made me feel a little better.
Anyway, I decided to have my breasts replaced asap and went for two consultations with private surgeons. During the first consultation, whilst being shown photos of his work, the surgeon accidentally brought a picture up on the screen of a women's breasts that had just had the implant removed without replacement and also with an uplift.
.. anyway this set me thinking and now logic has taken over and I just know the right thing is to have removal of my implants without replacement.
I am having my nose done (I broke it twice and now it's bent to the side) and my implants removed at the same time without an uplift. I just know it's the best thing to do.
However, lots of thoughts keep running through my head and I jump from, one minute knowing it will be fine, to the next minute panicking like mad...
I do worry that my female colleagues may notice as they never miss a trick (no one knows and I don't intend telling them,).
On the good side I am rather excited as I know I will be able to run around more, go to the gym, ride my bike and do my dancing again.
I am just still worried that I am having to wait a good month or two for the removal due to operating times and my schedule.
My boobs feel like they are in a vice and I keep getting shooting pains through them. Is this normal for CC or is this okay and usual for boobs that have CC. This is what worries me, I just don't know what the vice like pain is.
And I want to say a big thank you to all the ladies that go before me with their stories as they are so helping me.
Well this is my contribution. My story, my journey.
xxxx

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And a big thank you to you for paying it forward and starting your story! I have heard pain is common with capsular contracture. When are you having your surgery?

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Still not made a decision with a surgeon

Well I've had another consultation with the surgeon. I didn't really like the noses that I were shown to me and also didn't like the implants he had done (I'm still thinking of having NO replacement!)so just decided that although a nice doctor not for me as I wasn't keen on his work.
I have had a few more panic moments again.
One of my biggest scares is telling my children. I need to make a decision before I do this but it does worry me a little that they may think i've been very silly having them in in the first place. although I think their biggest concern will be my health. The thing is I'm a bit fragile and if my children were to say anything negative (my elder child can be a bit frank and opinionated even though my welfare is much at heart)I think I would break down and cry.
My biggest fear though is still my work colleagues who to be frank will eat me alive if they ever find out I had implants...my health would be the least of their concerns. They would make my lfe hellI used to be a fashion model (clothes on) and I have had nothing but nastiness since they found out. (I never told them as I didn't want any jealousy but they found out and I got it anyway even though I played it low key) . I also keep wondering how my clothes will look without boobs and thinking I should have perhaps have flashed my boobs about while they were okay, which I never did lol.
Still looking for a surgeon and have another consultation in a couple of weeks so hopefully he will be the one.
The shooting pains in my boobs are not as frequent and they have softened again.
Hopefully I will make a decision soon.
xxxx

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I've had mine for 8 years and just want them removed. I was a 34a before and have gone upto a 34c. Just want to be natural again.
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Hi, what size are your implants?
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Hi Bebe. my implants are size 265 and they are fortunately not pips. I will post some pictures as soon as I get a minute. I am still unsure what to do. My husband and I split up after 20 years together. Then after 5 years apart we are trying to rebuild a relationship together. He cheated on me and has had a few relationships with women all having larger breasts. I have also been in a couple of relationships and know my partners have enjoyed that I have larger breasts I measure 38 around my bust and am a 32dd to F cup. I am not sure I will feel secure and confident without my breasts. For all of you ladies out there in loving secure relationships that have the full support of your partner behind you, I feel so envious, you are truly lucky. My ex hubby says he fully supports me but I am frightened that I will turn into a bunny boiler/fruitcake as soon as I see him eyeing up a larger breasted women. xx

Full Capsule Removal Or Just Implant Removal ?? - More consultations!

Well today I have had another consultation. I have seen the nose surgeon and have to go back to see photos of his work and morphs of how my end result will hopefully look (why can't they do that with the breast surgery!! :-)
The breast consultation was strange to say the least. I liked the surgeon but.....
I just cannot believe the reaction from the nurse when I said I wasn't having implants back in. She asked if I was joking...then when I said not she pulled a strange face which said it all. (my froend said she had been introduced as a trainee nurse!) She said it wouldn't look good and made a screwed up yuk! face.It was so unexpected I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She said that perhaps I would be happy with replacements and I said I was unsure of what to do at this moment in time but swaying towards removal without replacement. I was told by the surgeon I didn't have much breast tissue and should expect to look totally flat. I was shown various implants and was told a good result could be obtained from replacement (a bit of sales talk perhaps or just running through my options? mmm not sure which! ) The surgeon said he had taken lots out but in most cases had performed a replacement.
He kept stressing I would be completely flat chested and may be upset with having no breasts after having such full breasts for over 20 yrs. He said he had done a removal the other week where the lady had not had replacements. I asked what the result was like and he said it was as expected and the patient had realised the end result....i.e. dropping of boobs, and rather empty, flat boobs. The nurse at this point pulled another face and made a "huh" noise to indicate the end result was far from what she considered nice.
So...me being me....I asked her why she had made such faces and noises and she said it was because she had rarely seen anyone not have replacement and she just couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to replace as I still looked so young. I told her I wasn't that young and that my health was more important and living as long and healthy life as possible to see my children and grandchildren grow up was the most important thing for me. I told the surgeon I was a single mum and had to be around for my children and that boobs were not that important any more at this point I was weepy..(which seems to be the order of the day for me lately:-( ). I told him I would sooner have a nice face (my nose is bending to one side), and that hopefully when my nose is done I will look softer in the face and the boobs will not be the first thing people see...instead it will be my soft, kind face. (I hope :-)
At this point the surgeon said he thought the best route for me was removal (with full capsule removal to make sure the whole of any leakage was taken out) and see how I felt after a few months or so in relation to having any more work i.e. uplift etc. He said it would be better to do it this way and give me several months rest so that the pockets could settle and fuse together and then if I wanted an uplift or smaller implants at a later date (I did say during consultation that I had considered smaller implants but not the same or bigger size).he could do that for me at a reduced cost. The cost for removal is £2400. The nose price is yet to be confirmed. I feel happy with the surgeon. Unsure about whether the full capsule removal is the best thing as I was hoping that if it is left in it will add a bit more volume to my bust. Any help, advice and comments on this would be very much appreciated.
Anyway, I am running out of energy and am tired of shopping around for a surgeon. They all seem to tell you what they think you want to hear anyway I think. I am just going round and round in circles so I have decided to go ahead with this surgeon as there seeems no way to distinguish between a good or bad surgeon. He is a breast surgeon as apposed to a plastic surgeon and also works for the NHS. He is BAPs approved/registered so I feel happy with that. I am going for a second consultation with the surgeons and then I am hoping to book in...Jump in at the deep end so to speak. Take the plunge. Anyway. That is all for now. Any comments especially regarding the full capsule removal or not as the case may be, would be very much appreciated as this is now my latest headache giving problem/decision playing in my head like ground hog day, over and over again. Anyway all, buy for now, hope to check in again soon.xxxx

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Picture. (some pre -implants to come soon)

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Picture (will post pre-implant soon)

This is me now with my implants of 20 yrs and before any removal etc.

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I would go with removal with full capsule removal especially if you have a leak or capsular contracture and given the age of your implants. If the capsules are left in they could potentially cause more problems down the road. After removal, give it some time to see how the breasts settle out and if its something you can't live with than make a decision on whether to lift or replace. After 20yrs you might have more breast tissue now than when you got them and be very pleasantly surprised. Try not to let the surgeons get you down they are use to placing implants not removing them. Do what's right for you. Good luck and keep us posted.
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Having a bad day!

Well today I am having a bad day. I can't stand the waiting about for information and the hospital still haven't worked out a price. It seems that it you go to a cosmetic hospital like Mya they will run around and perform cartwheels for you but go to a private hospital with NHS surgeons and the wheels turn very slowly (not the surgeons fault). It's just leaving me with to much time to think. I am only having mine out because of CC...it's not because I don;t like them. Infact ....I love them. I'm just thinking that if I have them replaced, and they last say 15 years.....I will be 65 and needing another operation. At 65 there would be no question for me and the decision would be simple, removal only. The trouble is I'm almost 50 (49) and I still look good (not being vein), I just mean I have kept well and most people say I look around about late 30's to mid 40's....I still go out and socialise and I have always felt so feminine since my boobies (even though I have never had them out on display if yoiu know what I mean). So I keep thinking shall I have them done again and then take them out on the NHS the next time I have problems or when I get to 65, which ever comes around first. The thing is I was told if I have them replaced I may have to go a size or two larger and I just know I would hate that. I was told I would have to have them removed and wait for the pocket to heal (about 6 months)and then start again from scratch having them in again. The problem is I have already had 5 operations (standard women's problems) in 20 years and that would mean another 2 taking me to 7 ops in 20 years which I just think can't be healthy for you. Grrrrr I just don't know what to do. I know I will be flat and people will question me. I just can't stand the thought of it. I have been starting to think I will just leave them in which I know is not really an option as they are leaking but I just can't stand it any longer. My head feels like it will explode. I have done nothing but cry (I am such a wimp!), and I am starting to get frustrated with everything, the cleaning, cooking etc.....it's just an interference with my thoughts so I'm becoming this person that just isn't me.....a grumpy, recluse!! :-((
What am i to do........why can't I just see the answer in front of me nice a clear!

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....ammendment

...oops just read that back and I missed a bit off....so it doesn't quite make sense.
What I have been considering again is:-
1)removal completely....but I'm only 49 and think I may want them until I'm 63-65. The problem there is I would have to go larger if I had them replaced now and I don't want bigger so I will have to wait for 6 months after the op for the pocket to heal and then go back and start again with a implant in order to have smaller boob implants after the pocket has shrunk and healed. This will make 7 ops in 20 yrs...not good! OR
2) have them out completely.....and maybe not feel happy with my shape. I'm not in a relationship and I may feel insecure again which since my boobies I haven't felt.... and then there's the questions from people I have to work with who are quite nasty (but I need the wage so can't quit! lol).
What am I to do!!!!!

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Hi rubedo....the thought had crossed my mind lol:-) but being serious I have to get through this journey first and I do need his help on the practical side of things...but you will be glad to know that at last (and this is something I have never ever, ever felt before....).... I am in a place where I know if I ever have a repeat of his past behaviour he is OUT of my life FOREVER...and it is baby steps for now...just friends. Hi Bebe1980....I forgot to add I measure 38" all around but only because since CC in one breast they have increased in size. Now to be honest I'm not sure if that is with the CC or eating chocolate as a result of worry...comfort food and all that! lol but to be honest I think they have got bigger since the CC. I have had this explained as due to irritation inside the breast with the breast tissue because of the CC. So my usual measurement is approx 35" when measuring around the bust and I am usually a 32DD although I am fast turning into a 32FF which I hate! by far to big for me and such discomfort. Anyway I am making some progress on my decision. Yeahh!:-).....a smiley at last yeayyyyy xxxx
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Maybe you should explant the ex? I have been in relationships with men like that... he would still be eyeing other women if you had larger breasts because it is in his nature to do so. There is the other type of guy out there who is not so focused on other women all the time. Wouldn't it be great if you could find one of the other kind for the second half of your life?

Someone switched a light bulb on!!!!

....I'm feeling happier. I realised I had researched my surgeon and then booked with the wrong one. I tell you my head has been like a shed of late. I even put a baking potato in the fridge the other day instead of the oven lol. Well at last taadaa.....the light has been switched on!! Now this may not be the road I expected to take but it's the road I'm travelling on at the moment.
As I said earlier I have never been unhappy with my boobs. However I have worried that if I have the ruptured breast implants removed and replaced and then have to have the replaced ones removed in another 15 years I will be almost 65 yrs old. I have worried 65 is to old for surgery given I have already had around 5 ops so far in 20 yrs. Anyway I have decided 65 is not to old. 65 is the new 50!!!!lol. There are ladies on this site 65 and older who have made me see this. Why do I always feel older than what I am. (when I was 26 and started my career I worked with girls who were 18 and even then felt like their grandma!) 50 is young. 65 is young!!
So...I am now booked to see the correct surgeon whom I have complete faith in. I am going to ask how much tissue he expects I will have upon removal of the implants. If he believes I have enough to lift and create a breast from and get a good result with then I am having that done. If not I am going to have implants...but they would be much smaller implants, so if I have implants I will also have a lift which will also serve as preparing my breast for when I eventually remove them for good!(which, asuming I go down that route, would hopefully be around 15yrs later if I am lucky and they were to last that long)
Now that might appear as clear as mud to you ladies out there but to me it is as clear as water yeah....yeah ...lol:-) ;-)xxxx

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I was always happy with mine too except for the 4 times I had cc. So two weeks ago,I had them removed, no replacement. I am 56. I had pretty much decided it would revert back to the AAA flat chested 20 year old boobs. But being older, weighing 25 lbs more, I have boobs. Nobody was more surprised than me. I think they will be a respectable B/C, well one is a b and the other a c right now. But even if I was flat chested I would have been ok with that. Being stretched out with DD helped. Good luck whatever you decide.
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Celin Dion for Inspiration

Hi All...did you see Celin Dion on the Johnathon Ross programme last night (sat)....please ladies, if you did not, then you must take a peek on You tube or catch up TV.......watch her walk on to the set.....what an inspiration. Absolutely amazing body.....and totally flat chested!!!!!! she looked the most classy, feminine, sophisticated women I have seen on TV in years....and totally flat chested!!! WOW! :-) :-) xxxx

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Hi Kathie...I hope you are feeling well and happy with your result. your comments have made me feel positive and hopeful. If I have something there I will be happy to leave my boobs as they are but if not I am going to have some small ones back in. I had initially thought I wouldn't replace and to be honest I am hoping I won't have to....but my boobs were so terribly deflated before my implants. I saw celine Dion on TV last night and she looked so elegant but was totally flat chested and it inspired me and made me hope that when I go to my consultant he says I may be okay without the implants. The thing is I have seen a couple of consultants and had the impression they all wanted to replace...so they have told me I have very little tissue and I am not sure if this was done to get me to have replacements. I have heard lots of good things about the surgeon I am going to see this week (I booked with the wrong consultant...don't ask...senior and moment comes to mind....although I think it has more to do with....my boobs as in other things on my mind constantly:-( ), anyway, I'm hopeful he may be able to assess my skin tissue and tell me I will have some tissue there after the op. Did your consultant tell you before the op you would have a fair amount of tissue after explant. I would much prefer to leave them out for good.:-) xxxx
Hi Rubedo Hope you're resting well. I have my fingers crossed you are pleased with your new look. :-) xxxx

Pre Implant Photos

...sorry they are blurred.

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To Remove Or Replace.......

Well I am still in the same frame of mind. I look at all your photos and think how good you look so I am hopng my surgeon is going to say that there is a fair amount of flesh there and the I too would look lovely like you ladies but I am worried he will say there is virtually none there:-(( in which case its back with the implants.....I think.
We shall see. Would like to have had it all sorted for xmas. There seems to have been quite a few ladies who had had removal in the space of days....a big well done and congratulations...you all look amazing!....I'm gonna post my after pics no matter what I go for or how good or not so good I look. I want to make sure this site sees the good and not so good to give a good representation of this process and also because you ladies have made me feel that no matter what the result, it's okay! thank you xxxx

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Just a thought.....If we take, then lets give too??

Hi everyone.....just a thought after reading how someone was allegedly "to shy to post pictures" etc....my thoughts are:-
If we take....then shouldn't we give?
If we all decided not to post our pics or our story and just take from other peoples experiences....then there would be not pictures on the site to help us, maybe even no dedicated site at all.
Isn't the whole point of this site to help each other, share information and experiences, good and not so good, in order to help each other...isn't the whole point that we move through this journey together as sisters united in our difficult journey...supporting each other...so why be "shy". Is there not such a thing as "cropping" photos or blocking out our head shots!
So lets be fair here, no excuses, if you take....then surly you should give back too!
like I said earlier, my "after" pics will be posted on this site no matter what the outcome as I think it's only FAIR to give back if I am looking at and taking from other peoples bloggs:-))xxxx

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Do you have to decide whether the capsule comes out or can your doc decide on that? I may be a control freak, but that's one call I let him make. With regard to replacing, I will say this...out of like 700 reviews, there is like 1 person who is not happy she removed (no I can't remember who--use te search function and sort by rating--not worth it). Just the fact that you are on this forum and not on the breast aug forum tells me that in your heart you want them out for good :)
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Ok no I don't think a Benelli lift will do anything for you...your nipple areola complex is in great position. You also have more tissue than 20 years ago...I think you'll like your results without implants and won't need to replace them! I think a simple explant will make you happiest...it might take 6 months for your skin to tighten all the way back up but hey, it's been 20 years, what's another 6 months :)
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You are going to go right back to normal. I can't wait til you're on the other side!
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HELP....first they are ruptured...then they are not!!

Hi Everyone...
... and well done to those of you who have gone through the tunnel and come out the other side....you are so very brave and much happier it seems according to your reviews/stories.
Well, here I am with an update myself and quite a bit has happened since I last updated and I could really do with some help/advice if any of you guys have any experience/thoughts to share.
I think I already mentioned I had been for a ultrasound scan and was told that there was a rupture and that the leakage and spill out was clear on the ultrasound.
I then saw two breast surgeons with a view to having the implants removed privately. Both said the breasts (which had gone back to being nice and soft and almost normal with just a lump in the inside of the left boob implant), did not feel like they had ruptured. Both surgeons said they saw slight CC, but they could not feel any rupture.
...so, with this new information I decided to have a MRI scan to clarify....
The result of the MRI show that the implants are completely intact without any leakage or rupture whatsoever.....I just don't understand. How is this? what are the lumpy areas?
Also...why did my boobs keep changing from soft to hard and hard to soft.
It had been the left boob that had originally gone quite hard and then the right one followed and went just a little hard. The right boob then went back to being completely soft and feeling normal whilst the left softened quite a lot but always stayed a bit lumpy, like ball shape that's sort of inside the middle of the implant which you can feel if you press around my boob and try to feel beneath the skin.
The left side has over the past couple of months sometimes felt swollen and hard, and sometimes swollen and soft and other times virtually normal, although it has always had some lumpiness to the inside and along the bottom in the crease .
It is now settled to soft and has been for a while, with just the lump, although the implant is slightly raised at the top part.
Has anyone else had any experience. Can anyone help me and explain why this has happened and what the lumps/lumpy area is.
I am going back to see the breast consultant that has done the MRI scan, so hopefully I will find out at some point...but the wait is so frustrating and my appointment could take weeks. This journey began with a GP appointment in August 2013 and I still don't really know what's what. I thought the hospitals had "pathways/times of completion" to meet. Anyway, I am really relieved that as far as I know at the moment, my boobs are rupture free....that said, I keep thinking that maybe on my next visit, they will say they are ruptured and then on avisit after that , they are not....the info seems to be totally the opposite every time I go for a consultation!
Hope to hear from you guys soon and a big "Thank You" :-) in anticipation. xxxx.

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Check out Susan Kolb's site Platikos. She has information on lipolysis where silicone can migrate out of the capsule with out rupture.......
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Breast tissue can change due to hormonal fluctuations. Cystic type breast tissue could make your breasts feel lumpy and vary in degree of lumpiness depending on hormonal fluctuations. Also, although your implants may or may not be ruptured, implants do bleed silicone over time and your body could be possibly reacting to that who knows. Despite what any doctor will tell you....they are toxic to your body and you will never get a clear answer from a cosmetic surgeon regarding the toxicity and problems associated with implants. If you read a lot of stories on here you will see that often when women come to a place where they are considering having the implants out and then change their mind to replace with smaller implants they often have regrets and end up getting them removed anyway a short time later. Only you can decide what is best for you and not what is best for anyone else. Good luck to you and hope you can come to a resolution soon regarding all of this.
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I'm so sorry to hear that! No I didn't have hardening/softening...I hope you get some answers soon
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"THANK YOU"....I know I'm a snail lol

A Big Thank You to all you lovely brave ladies on this site. I keep dropping in to your stories and having a good read...and I know I am a bit of a snail myself...but you ladies are really helping me on my journey...what a great site!!
...and congratulations to all of you who have made your decisions and then come through your journey...well done!

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I skimmed parts of your blog, and want to read better when I have time, but a couple things. Yes! If we are going to benefit from others experiences, let's share ours, photos and all! And I also want to say your pre augment photos show that you look fantastic without implants! In a couple days I can let you know if I really believe it's fantastic to get them out! But I'm actually looking forward to it for many of the reasons you described. I have had the on off, hard, then not so hard, pain, not pain, lumps, not lumps experience too. I think it is scar tissue stressing the muscle maybe and then maybe it stretches??? I just know that one time I was trying to work out the hardness on a foam roller and pop! Something gave, I guess a tear in the scar tissue under my armpit. It gave a period of relief from hardness but went back to hard as ever. And new lumps. So they all go on wednesday morning. I have had mammograms and a sonogram showing possibly no rupture, but hard to believe, there seems to be some leakage that scar tissue has formed around. I'll let you know when I find out.
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Is it so easy to fall down again?

Hi to all you ladies....Well here I am some months later and my logic is telling me to remove these implants and gain a healthy body. So, anyway, I have come to the decision removal is best for me...and I still think that is the right option for me.....so there I am merrily going about my business getting used to the idea...
...and then along comes a male friend...we used to talk a lot and I've always been able to trust him so I thought what the hell, and I told him. He was really supportive, at first, I mean mega supportive...and then two weeks later he pops over for coffee...and steers the conversation towards breasts...and then he starts making comments like...are you sure you are doing the right thing....won't they be baggy and saggy etc, etc....and I love you as you are.....
......and I was like, no, I'm not changing my mind, I'm sticking to my guns here....I'm not being knocked off my perch....so how come three weeks after his visit (I haven't seen him since, when he rings, I keep telling him I'm busy) I'm sat here thinking about those two words...the dreaded two words that he used over and over......saggy and baggy!!!!!!
why do those two words make my gut wrench, why did I feel so ashamed when he asked "won't your boobs be saggy and baggy". I wanted to hide in a corner :-(((( and my logic tells me....he's just another selfish shallow man, what about my health?....but why have those two words saggy and baggy filled me with dread and fear:-( Men!!!!!!!!! :-(
Better start my chant again lol:-)
...."I have to stay focused"...."I have to stay focused"...."I have to stay focused"............."I have......

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We do this for us NOT to get or keep a guy. I have the same fears about my bf......that he won't be satisfied with my flat chest. Some words of wisdom shared with me by a male dance teacher when I asked him what attracted him to his gf. He said "she knows her worth".
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WOW. Amazing thing to say, and something REALLY important to take in and remember. Thanks, T.
...I don't know how to reply to that really. I'll try. If my comments have implied that I think breast implants will get or keep a guy, that is not what I have meant. On the whole I am completely at peace with myself...I know I am a good person inside and love my body and what I have been blessed with on the outside. I consider myself very lucky indeed. I can't however deny that breast implants have made me feel sexy and feminine and not least empowered. In my opinion almost all men will strain to look at a girl with big breasts, and if she's amazingly pretty too...they will practically unscrew their heads to look...but I don't think it necessarily means anything. The thing is, us women armed with that knowledge can misbehave! and basically it can backfire and bite us in the bum! I'm going to own this lol. I'm going to update my profile and own this!! Please don't worry about your guy, they may turn to have a peek, but I'm sure that's all. Let's be fair here...if we saw several mans bit's hanging out...we would automatically be drawn to looking at a man with larger bits...but it doesn't mean we are unhappy with our mans bits or that we want a man for keeps just because he has big bits...but the trouble is we women and men too can misbehave...so read my update...I'm owning this one!

This can't be so

Having just got home from a make up party....I have to post this...
bear in mind no-one knows of my implants.....
these ladies who are all very lovely ladies were discussing implants. One of the ladies has had implants done a couple of years ago and I was so surprised that she was talking about having them removed and replaced with bigger ones because she thinks they are looking small at the side of friends implants. And it occurred to me that it sounded like a playground competition as to who has and who hopes to get the biggest boobs and one poor women who stated that she would never have implants was practically set upon and ridiculed as though she were a leper to voice let alone even think about not getting this procedure ....and it occurred to me...is it only men who are causing this boob issue...or is it ourselves and our sisters too. Is there some kind of competition going off between women getting implants. Are we fearful of feeling inadequate because other women are competing to such a point that almost all women are having implants and it's now considered NOT normal if you want to be natural.x

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There is a great TED talk on YouTube called The Sexy Lie that talks about women competing to be a good sex object. I think you're right on
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Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!! Thanks, Unsure, for telling us about it, and thanks Angie, for putting it up. Heldman is amazing, and her presentation is incredibly concise. All of us who are facing ourselves in this situation and coming to terms with our own truths will be well served by taking a few minutes to watch this.

Help...Still Struggling!!!!

Hi ladies, here I am again. Time is passing by so quickly I can't believe it's over a year since this all stuff started and this hell journey began and yet here I am still no further forward with my decision. I try not to think about it to much. I read your stories and salute each and every one of you for moving bravely forward and having such courage to make a decision and stick with it. I wish I had someone I could chat to but I just don't so I keep it in. One minute I think I have come to a decision and then I just step from A to B and back to A again; round and round in circles!
So here I am hoping you ladies might be able to help me. Some of you ladies may have read that one of my main worries is people noticing afterwards if I don't have a replacement, and going from big to small will fetch questions for sure. I have read many posts and seen that some of you post op ladies have bought breast inserts to use in your bras and if any of you have or could post photos of these fillets in your bras to show how much these chicken fillet inserts are likely to lift the breast up and outwards I would be so grateful.
I have tried not to think about my situation, but now my arm aches quite a bit so I know I have to do something and soon.
Thank you all for reading this and any help you might be able to give.xx

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Hi. thank you all for your comments. I understand what you are all saying and I would hope that I too would feel the say way as you have done upon removal, but at the moment I can't see that I would. I am just very consumed by the thought of someone noticing. I spent many years being bullied and being the recipient of much intrusion into my personal life and extremely personal details. I am a very quite person and sadly the experience of being bullied has left it's mark. I really do not want to go through any intrusion into my personal life again; I simply don't want to deal with crap again. I'm older and just want a peaceful life . This is why it is important to me. I wanted to see how effective these push up padded bras and chicken fillets combined would be. I guess I will get there one way or another eventually lol.x
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I was somewhat concerned about anyone noticing, but now that I've had mine out, I am so happy with the new-old me, I don't care if anyone can tell. I think you'll feel the same once yours are out. I wouldn't let those worries hold you back from doing something so important for your health. Most people really aren't analyzing our breast size, and the ones who are are just creepy :) Good luck!
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I'm here if you need to chat! I'm 8 weeks on the other side and haven't regretted that decision for even a second! I went from a 34ddd to a small 34c and no one has said a word about the very noticeable change! Lol even if they did it would be no big deal to me because I'm thrilled to be smaller and I don't owe anyone an explanation! :) wish you the best!
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Lets let it all out....

I placed a comment of a profile. A lovely down to earth lady had, after implant removal, posted some honest remarks showing that not all is a bed of roses after implant removal, for example, men may not like the look of a post implant removal breast and I responded (I was going to update my profile with these comments anyway) ...

I love your comments. Good for you. Thank you for showing your feelings both glad (to have had the removal) but also showing the other side too, about time we showed its not all just a bed of roses! Strangely enough I was going to update my post today because I spent last evening thinking about this site, and that as much as this site helps; and there is absolutely no denying it does, I have also started to get a little frustrated with it too, so I have updated.

No doubt not everyone will like my comments but here they are all the same:-

Two ladies contacted me (off site) and told me that despite the help this site provided they felt unable to comment on their profile about the negative feelings they were experiencing after removal i.e. a bit of regret, insecurity creeping back etc. I feel this site does tend to move towards a one sided positivity spurred on by a roller coaster action created by the thought that any negative remark will suggest a unsucessful implant removal story (and I think we all want our story to have a fairytale ending). From reading the reviews virtually all of the reviews suggest that everyone is delighted after removal, everyone is so happy they are almost throwing a boob implant removal party! wow! well I don't think so. what about those feelings of loss, feelings of doubting our new shape, does all of those emotions just disappear? I'm not so convinced. I loved a cheater once upon a time... I didn't stop loving him after he cheated (feelings are deep rooted!). All I'm saying is a lot of the ladies had implants because of (for example) a deep rooted lack of self confidence, surly feelings like that don't just disappear in everyone, surly it must resurface even if just a tiny bit, even if just initially, but we have so little mention of it, it's all just chocolate and roses after the removal!!
I'm on a dating site and it's all so same'y. Please don't be offended ladies. But on the dating site, everyone likes to: stay in with a bottle of red and go our to the pics, like an variety of music blah blah blah. And it seems that here too, it's also a bit same'y...like there's a process that we follow and to detract from that process and to be different, show any negativity for example, may suggest we have failed in our removal journey. Surly it can't be the case that everyone has no old feelings creeping back. I have seen only a couple of ladies on this site who have gone through with removal and then make comments on their profile suggesting they don't like the end result because they now feel insecure as a result of the removal or feel there clothes might not look in some cases as nice on them , and then on their next update both of these ladies have apologised (yes!! apologised) for sharing negative thoughts. I have also read on one review, a comment made by a member toward another member, whereby one member suggested the other lady may have a body image disorder ..and she was met with defensiveness from other members who took the comment to be an insult because it was what?!...what she thought could be a possibility, what may be perceived as a negative comment. All I'm saying is, lets not lock the not so good thoughts away or pretend we don't have them. Things perceived as "bad" thoughts or "bad" suggestions (as was the case in the comment about the body disorder) should not be viewed as negative, or an insult, just human thoughts and feelings because things are not so perfect, that's just not how life is (or is my life the only odd life out, cos it's by no means a perfect life). I thought there would be a lot more deeper feelings being shared on here and call me pessimistic (I'm not, by the way, but you can say I am if you like) but not all of the women who have removal must go through with it and never have old feelings of some kind, doubts etc. return after removal. So what I'm saying is, I wish all comments/updates were not all, oh so perfect, I wish people could let everything out without feeling that their implant removal would then be perceived to be a failure ....why does it have to be so regimental, almost like there's a order, a process and a happy ever after fairytale ending: 1 decision to remove, 2 date set, 3 countdown, 4 good luck messages, 5 well done messages, 6 happy ever after!!. I wish we could really open up and not feel a failure to say that we have some niggley feelings too. The two ladies that I spoke to certainly had some after doubts...or am I (and I'm having doubts even b4 so there's really is no hope for me! lol:-)and those other two ladies the only ladies that are of that mindset...because I know my emotions are everywhere even now so I'm sure afterwards I would look back at least occasionally and have some mixed feelings:-) x

20 Comments

Just because there are women who choose not to express how they truly feel does not mean that all women feel that way. I am more than happy that my implants are removed. Confidence comes from within. It doesn't matter what your shape, size of breast, or butt may be. Happiness also comes from within. You can choose to be happy and confident or can choose not to be. Your decision should be based on you. I wanted my implants out from the week I got them. Feeling that way for 11 years, I didn't need women on this site to tell me to remove them. I only used this site to view before and after to see what to expect. My doctor lied and said my breast would be wrinkly and look shriveled like raisins and so this site make me aware that was not true. However if you have doubt about removal then don't let anyone else tell you to do so. It is your body and you have to live with it. This site is what you make it and you have to have the confidence to stand up for yourself. Insecurities are negative feelings you make up in your own mind. It does not matter if you have breast or not, you can still be feminine and womanly but you felt you needed breast to feel that way, however I know men who feel feminine and womanly with a penis and no breast. It is what you perceive of oneself. Do what makes you happier and if someone has an issue then when you defend yourself people will back off, but insecurities can easily be detected even in a post online. A person can tell a person who is confident apart from someone who is not. I can assure you now that I am more confident in myself because I do not have implants, I have had more compliments and more men have approached me than before. Loving yourself regardless of what that entails matters the most. It is your body and your money. If you rather spend thousands of dollars on getting your breast implants replaced that is your choice to make but realize that because you are still not 100% sure about what you want to do then that is causing your insecurity. You have to 100% behind your decision no matter what it is. Women can tell you that you are setting yourself up for future implant replacement, and possible future complications but so what. We all knew the risk of getting it done to begin with and those risks have not changed. Again it is your money and your body and you have a right to with it as you please. Most of these women who removed their implants are older and learned to be confident with themselves and they want to push others to embrace that feeling because it is liberating. However, they fail to realize that not everyone is ready for that. I am telling you that to help you understand the mentality. People in general can be controlling and women on this site will not be different. I have seen women express wanting breast implants to be removed in the breast augmentation section and the women there made that female feel horrible for wanting to do so. It was her responsibility just like it is yours to make up your own mind and stick with your decision because you have to live with that decision, no one else. Good luck
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Hi Starsfan....thank you for your lovely message. It is ironic that I have now reached a decision and then I get your message to help me along and highlight some very important facts that can be missed as we get swept along in the sea of implant removal. I am so glad you sent your message because it reaffirms exactly what my thoughts are. I do agree that many ladies on here have already come to terms with removal; some because of their age, others because they perhaps don't have the funding to replace and others for many other reasons. I agree that the ladies that have already made that decision and journey sometimes subconsciousness encourage removal and you can easily get swept along with something so it has taken me much difficulty in making a decision but I have eventually decided to have them replaced. I know they will be removed one day and I know that when that day comes I too will feel happy with that decision but at the moment the way forward for me is replacement. I never ever, ever, disliked my implants, never! and without CC would never have ever considered removal. The one good thing this process has done for me is to make me aware because of my age, of the importance of having my breasts examined physically once a year and to have a ultrasound and other examinations regularly. I will also be more assertive when having any future mammograms and not be pushed into doing anything I do not want to do ever again. Having breasts for me makes me look more girlie and feel more girlie. I will try to have the size reduced if possible without a lift, but I feel happy with my decision. If I get CC later, I will have them removed and know I will not have them replaced as I can't justify spending more money that I would have to save up for, so for now, I am looking forward to getting rid of the hard CC boob and having a nice fresh, soft pair of new boobies. Thank you again, because if I had not already made my decision your message would have helped me get back on MY road again. x
Good luck on your journey. I am glad you were able to make a decision for yourself because that is what matters. Good luck with your surgery. :) Hopefully, you will not have to deal with another CC for a long time. If you haven't done so already, I think you should probably message those women who have had a CC and got them replaced and then had the CC again and then got them replaced or removed the next go round. They probably can give some advice that I probably wouldn't know anything about as far as bra's and care etc are concerned. You only need women that can be supportive at this time. Take care! :)
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