My Breast Implant Removal Journey - United Kingdom, GB

I have had implants 20 years ago and to be honest...

I have had implants 20 years ago and to be honest I have been very happy with the look that they gave me;feminine and womanly...
Recently I felt pain in my left breast like an aching and so having booked into the NHS local hospital, was told I had capsule contraction in the left boob. I was told that the leakage was retained in the capsule which made me feel a little better.
Anyway, I decided to have my breasts replaced asap and went for two consultations with private surgeons. During the first consultation, whilst being shown photos of his work, the surgeon accidentally brought a picture up on the screen of a women's breasts that had just had the implant removed without replacement and also with an uplift.
.. anyway this set me thinking and now logic has taken over and I just know the right thing is to have removal of my implants without replacement.
I am having my nose done (I broke it twice and now it's bent to the side) and my implants removed at the same time without an uplift. I just know it's the best thing to do.
However, lots of thoughts keep running through my head and I jump from, one minute knowing it will be fine, to the next minute panicking like mad...
I do worry that my female colleagues may notice as they never miss a trick (no one knows and I don't intend telling them,).
On the good side I am rather excited as I know I will be able to run around more, go to the gym, ride my bike and do my dancing again.
I am just still worried that I am having to wait a good month or two for the removal due to operating times and my schedule.
My boobs feel like they are in a vice and I keep getting shooting pains through them. Is this normal for CC or is this okay and usual for boobs that have CC. This is what worries me, I just don't know what the vice like pain is.
And I want to say a big thank you to all the ladies that go before me with their stories as they are so helping me.
Well this is my contribution. My story, my journey.

Still not made a decision with a surgeon

Well I've had another consultation with the surgeon. I didn't really like the noses that I were shown to me and also didn't like the implants he had done (I'm still thinking of having NO replacement!)so just decided that although a nice doctor not for me as I wasn't keen on his work.
I have had a few more panic moments again.
One of my biggest scares is telling my children. I need to make a decision before I do this but it does worry me a little that they may think i've been very silly having them in in the first place. although I think their biggest concern will be my health. The thing is I'm a bit fragile and if my children were to say anything negative (my elder child can be a bit frank and opinionated even though my welfare is much at heart)I think I would break down and cry.
My biggest fear though is still my work colleagues who to be frank will eat me alive if they ever find out I had health would be the least of their concerns. They would make my lfe hellI used to be a fashion model (clothes on) and I have had nothing but nastiness since they found out. (I never told them as I didn't want any jealousy but they found out and I got it anyway even though I played it low key) . I also keep wondering how my clothes will look without boobs and thinking I should have perhaps have flashed my boobs about while they were okay, which I never did lol.
Still looking for a surgeon and have another consultation in a couple of weeks so hopefully he will be the one.
The shooting pains in my boobs are not as frequent and they have softened again.
Hopefully I will make a decision soon.

Full Capsule Removal Or Just Implant Removal ?? - More consultations!

Well today I have had another consultation. I have seen the nose surgeon and have to go back to see photos of his work and morphs of how my end result will hopefully look (why can't they do that with the breast surgery!! :-)
The breast consultation was strange to say the least. I liked the surgeon but.....
I just cannot believe the reaction from the nurse when I said I wasn't having implants back in. She asked if I was joking...then when I said not she pulled a strange face which said it all. (my froend said she had been introduced as a trainee nurse!) She said it wouldn't look good and made a screwed up yuk! face.It was so unexpected I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She said that perhaps I would be happy with replacements and I said I was unsure of what to do at this moment in time but swaying towards removal without replacement. I was told by the surgeon I didn't have much breast tissue and should expect to look totally flat. I was shown various implants and was told a good result could be obtained from replacement (a bit of sales talk perhaps or just running through my options? mmm not sure which! ) The surgeon said he had taken lots out but in most cases had performed a replacement.
He kept stressing I would be completely flat chested and may be upset with having no breasts after having such full breasts for over 20 yrs. He said he had done a removal the other week where the lady had not had replacements. I asked what the result was like and he said it was as expected and the patient had realised the end result....i.e. dropping of boobs, and rather empty, flat boobs. The nurse at this point pulled another face and made a "huh" noise to indicate the end result was far from what she considered nice. being me....I asked her why she had made such faces and noises and she said it was because she had rarely seen anyone not have replacement and she just couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to replace as I still looked so young. I told her I wasn't that young and that my health was more important and living as long and healthy life as possible to see my children and grandchildren grow up was the most important thing for me. I told the surgeon I was a single mum and had to be around for my children and that boobs were not that important any more at this point I was weepy..(which seems to be the order of the day for me lately:-( ). I told him I would sooner have a nice face (my nose is bending to one side), and that hopefully when my nose is done I will look softer in the face and the boobs will not be the first thing people see...instead it will be my soft, kind face. (I hope :-)
At this point the surgeon said he thought the best route for me was removal (with full capsule removal to make sure the whole of any leakage was taken out) and see how I felt after a few months or so in relation to having any more work i.e. uplift etc. He said it would be better to do it this way and give me several months rest so that the pockets could settle and fuse together and then if I wanted an uplift or smaller implants at a later date (I did say during consultation that I had considered smaller implants but not the same or bigger size).he could do that for me at a reduced cost. The cost for removal is £2400. The nose price is yet to be confirmed. I feel happy with the surgeon. Unsure about whether the full capsule removal is the best thing as I was hoping that if it is left in it will add a bit more volume to my bust. Any help, advice and comments on this would be very much appreciated.
Anyway, I am running out of energy and am tired of shopping around for a surgeon. They all seem to tell you what they think you want to hear anyway I think. I am just going round and round in circles so I have decided to go ahead with this surgeon as there seeems no way to distinguish between a good or bad surgeon. He is a breast surgeon as apposed to a plastic surgeon and also works for the NHS. He is BAPs approved/registered so I feel happy with that. I am going for a second consultation with the surgeons and then I am hoping to book in...Jump in at the deep end so to speak. Take the plunge. Anyway. That is all for now. Any comments especially regarding the full capsule removal or not as the case may be, would be very much appreciated as this is now my latest headache giving problem/decision playing in my head like ground hog day, over and over again. Anyway all, buy for now, hope to check in again soon.xxxx

Picture. (some pre -implants to come soon)

Picture (will post pre-implant soon)

This is me now with my implants of 20 yrs and before any removal etc.

Having a bad day!

Well today I am having a bad day. I can't stand the waiting about for information and the hospital still haven't worked out a price. It seems that it you go to a cosmetic hospital like Mya they will run around and perform cartwheels for you but go to a private hospital with NHS surgeons and the wheels turn very slowly (not the surgeons fault). It's just leaving me with to much time to think. I am only having mine out because of's not because I don;t like them. Infact ....I love them. I'm just thinking that if I have them replaced, and they last say 15 years.....I will be 65 and needing another operation. At 65 there would be no question for me and the decision would be simple, removal only. The trouble is I'm almost 50 (49) and I still look good (not being vein), I just mean I have kept well and most people say I look around about late 30's to mid 40's....I still go out and socialise and I have always felt so feminine since my boobies (even though I have never had them out on display if yoiu know what I mean). So I keep thinking shall I have them done again and then take them out on the NHS the next time I have problems or when I get to 65, which ever comes around first. The thing is I was told if I have them replaced I may have to go a size or two larger and I just know I would hate that. I was told I would have to have them removed and wait for the pocket to heal (about 6 months)and then start again from scratch having them in again. The problem is I have already had 5 operations (standard women's problems) in 20 years and that would mean another 2 taking me to 7 ops in 20 years which I just think can't be healthy for you. Grrrrr I just don't know what to do. I know I will be flat and people will question me. I just can't stand the thought of it. I have been starting to think I will just leave them in which I know is not really an option as they are leaking but I just can't stand it any longer. My head feels like it will explode. I have done nothing but cry (I am such a wimp!), and I am starting to get frustrated with everything, the cleaning, cooking's just an interference with my thoughts so I'm becoming this person that just isn't me.....a grumpy, recluse!! :-((
What am i to do........why can't I just see the answer in front of me nice a clear!


...oops just read that back and I missed a bit it doesn't quite make sense.
What I have been considering again is:-
1)removal completely....but I'm only 49 and think I may want them until I'm 63-65. The problem there is I would have to go larger if I had them replaced now and I don't want bigger so I will have to wait for 6 months after the op for the pocket to heal and then go back and start again with a implant in order to have smaller boob implants after the pocket has shrunk and healed. This will make 7 ops in 20 yrs...not good! OR
2) have them out completely.....and maybe not feel happy with my shape. I'm not in a relationship and I may feel insecure again which since my boobies I haven't felt.... and then there's the questions from people I have to work with who are quite nasty (but I need the wage so can't quit! lol).
What am I to do!!!!!

Someone switched a light bulb on!!!!

....I'm feeling happier. I realised I had researched my surgeon and then booked with the wrong one. I tell you my head has been like a shed of late. I even put a baking potato in the fridge the other day instead of the oven lol. Well at last taadaa.....the light has been switched on!! Now this may not be the road I expected to take but it's the road I'm travelling on at the moment.
As I said earlier I have never been unhappy with my boobs. However I have worried that if I have the ruptured breast implants removed and replaced and then have to have the replaced ones removed in another 15 years I will be almost 65 yrs old. I have worried 65 is to old for surgery given I have already had around 5 ops so far in 20 yrs. Anyway I have decided 65 is not to old. 65 is the new 50!!!!lol. There are ladies on this site 65 and older who have made me see this. Why do I always feel older than what I am. (when I was 26 and started my career I worked with girls who were 18 and even then felt like their grandma!) 50 is young. 65 is young!!
So...I am now booked to see the correct surgeon whom I have complete faith in. I am going to ask how much tissue he expects I will have upon removal of the implants. If he believes I have enough to lift and create a breast from and get a good result with then I am having that done. If not I am going to have implants...but they would be much smaller implants, so if I have implants I will also have a lift which will also serve as preparing my breast for when I eventually remove them for good!(which, asuming I go down that route, would hopefully be around 15yrs later if I am lucky and they were to last that long)
Now that might appear as clear as mud to you ladies out there but to me it is as clear as water yeah....yeah ;-)xxxx

Celin Dion for Inspiration

Hi All...did you see Celin Dion on the Johnathon Ross programme last night (sat)....please ladies, if you did not, then you must take a peek on You tube or catch up her walk on to the set.....what an inspiration. Absolutely amazing body.....and totally flat chested!!!!!! she looked the most classy, feminine, sophisticated women I have seen on TV in years....and totally flat chested!!! WOW! :-) :-) xxxx

Pre Implant Photos

...sorry they are blurred.

To Remove Or Replace.......

Well I am still in the same frame of mind. I look at all your photos and think how good you look so I am hopng my surgeon is going to say that there is a fair amount of flesh there and the I too would look lovely like you ladies but I am worried he will say there is virtually none there:-(( in which case its back with the implants.....I think.
We shall see. Would like to have had it all sorted for xmas. There seems to have been quite a few ladies who had had removal in the space of days....a big well done and all look amazing!....I'm gonna post my after pics no matter what I go for or how good or not so good I look. I want to make sure this site sees the good and not so good to give a good representation of this process and also because you ladies have made me feel that no matter what the result, it's okay! thank you xxxx

Just a thought.....If we take, then lets give too??

Hi everyone.....just a thought after reading how someone was allegedly "to shy to post pictures" thoughts are:-
If we take....then shouldn't we give?
If we all decided not to post our pics or our story and just take from other peoples experiences....then there would be not pictures on the site to help us, maybe even no dedicated site at all.
Isn't the whole point of this site to help each other, share information and experiences, good and not so good, in order to help each other...isn't the whole point that we move through this journey together as sisters united in our difficult journey...supporting each why be "shy". Is there not such a thing as "cropping" photos or blocking out our head shots!
So lets be fair here, no excuses, if you take....then surly you should give back too!
like I said earlier, my "after" pics will be posted on this site no matter what the outcome as I think it's only FAIR to give back if I am looking at and taking from other peoples bloggs:-))xxxx

HELP....first they are ruptured...then they are not!!

Hi Everyone...
... and well done to those of you who have gone through the tunnel and come out the other are so very brave and much happier it seems according to your reviews/stories.
Well, here I am with an update myself and quite a bit has happened since I last updated and I could really do with some help/advice if any of you guys have any experience/thoughts to share.
I think I already mentioned I had been for a ultrasound scan and was told that there was a rupture and that the leakage and spill out was clear on the ultrasound.
I then saw two breast surgeons with a view to having the implants removed privately. Both said the breasts (which had gone back to being nice and soft and almost normal with just a lump in the inside of the left boob implant), did not feel like they had ruptured. Both surgeons said they saw slight CC, but they could not feel any rupture., with this new information I decided to have a MRI scan to clarify....
The result of the MRI show that the implants are completely intact without any leakage or rupture whatsoever.....I just don't understand. How is this? what are the lumpy areas?
Also...why did my boobs keep changing from soft to hard and hard to soft.
It had been the left boob that had originally gone quite hard and then the right one followed and went just a little hard. The right boob then went back to being completely soft and feeling normal whilst the left softened quite a lot but always stayed a bit lumpy, like ball shape that's sort of inside the middle of the implant which you can feel if you press around my boob and try to feel beneath the skin.
The left side has over the past couple of months sometimes felt swollen and hard, and sometimes swollen and soft and other times virtually normal, although it has always had some lumpiness to the inside and along the bottom in the crease .
It is now settled to soft and has been for a while, with just the lump, although the implant is slightly raised at the top part.
Has anyone else had any experience. Can anyone help me and explain why this has happened and what the lumps/lumpy area is.
I am going back to see the breast consultant that has done the MRI scan, so hopefully I will find out at some point...but the wait is so frustrating and my appointment could take weeks. This journey began with a GP appointment in August 2013 and I still don't really know what's what. I thought the hospitals had "pathways/times of completion" to meet. Anyway, I am really relieved that as far as I know at the moment, my boobs are rupture free....that said, I keep thinking that maybe on my next visit, they will say they are ruptured and then on avisit after that , they are not....the info seems to be totally the opposite every time I go for a consultation!
Hope to hear from you guys soon and a big "Thank You" :-) in anticipation. xxxx.

"THANK YOU"....I know I'm a snail lol

A Big Thank You to all you lovely brave ladies on this site. I keep dropping in to your stories and having a good read...and I know I am a bit of a snail myself...but you ladies are really helping me on my journey...what a great site!!
...and congratulations to all of you who have made your decisions and then come through your journey...well done!

Is it so easy to fall down again?

Hi to all you ladies....Well here I am some months later and my logic is telling me to remove these implants and gain a healthy body. So, anyway, I have come to the decision removal is best for me...and I still think that is the right option for there I am merrily going about my business getting used to the idea...
...and then along comes a male friend...we used to talk a lot and I've always been able to trust him so I thought what the hell, and I told him. He was really supportive, at first, I mean mega supportive...and then two weeks later he pops over for coffee...and steers the conversation towards breasts...and then he starts making comments like...are you sure you are doing the right thing....won't they be baggy and saggy etc, etc....and I love you as you are.....
......and I was like, no, I'm not changing my mind, I'm sticking to my guns here....I'm not being knocked off my how come three weeks after his visit (I haven't seen him since, when he rings, I keep telling him I'm busy) I'm sat here thinking about those two words...the dreaded two words that he used over and over......saggy and baggy!!!!!!
why do those two words make my gut wrench, why did I feel so ashamed when he asked "won't your boobs be saggy and baggy". I wanted to hide in a corner :-(((( and my logic tells me....he's just another selfish shallow man, what about my health?....but why have those two words saggy and baggy filled me with dread and fear:-( Men!!!!!!!!! :-(
Better start my chant again lol:-)
...."I have to stay focused"...."I have to stay focused"...."I have to stay focused"............."I have......

This can't be so

Having just got home from a make up party....I have to post this...
bear in mind no-one knows of my implants.....
these ladies who are all very lovely ladies were discussing implants. One of the ladies has had implants done a couple of years ago and I was so surprised that she was talking about having them removed and replaced with bigger ones because she thinks they are looking small at the side of friends implants. And it occurred to me that it sounded like a playground competition as to who has and who hopes to get the biggest boobs and one poor women who stated that she would never have implants was practically set upon and ridiculed as though she were a leper to voice let alone even think about not getting this procedure ....and it occurred to it only men who are causing this boob issue...or is it ourselves and our sisters too. Is there some kind of competition going off between women getting implants. Are we fearful of feeling inadequate because other women are competing to such a point that almost all women are having implants and it's now considered NOT normal if you want to be natural.x
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There is a great TED talk on YouTube called The Sexy Lie that talks about women competing to be a good sex object. I think you're right on
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Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!! Thanks, Unsure, for telling us about it, and thanks Angie, for putting it up. Heldman is amazing, and her presentation is incredibly concise. All of us who are facing ourselves in this situation and coming to terms with our own truths will be well served by taking a few minutes to watch this.
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...thanks for sending me that. I watched it with interest. I fear for daughters and grand daughters...I even fear for boys and grandsons. Males too are targeted. I remember my sister having problems with her young academic son who was more interested in his school work than feeling some girls breasts behind the bike sheds. He took so much stick from other school mates and became the target of bullies. Needless to say...he grew up, married with children...and was very successful in his career...but he took so much stick and so much pain (I remember the days he came home from school crying) and all because he respected girls!!
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I have had my implants for more than 18 years and the only people that know are my ex and my new hubby. Judging by the number of disparaging remarks that people have made in my presence I assume that no one suspects I have them. I hate them and really do not ever put them out on display bit one of my biggest fears is that people and especially co-workers will notice. One thing I have noticed is that since I found this website a few weeks ago my shame about having these has greatly decreased as well as my fears. I find that most of the pics of the afters look just fine. I don't think I'll be flat but I do have a lot of loose skin and expect to be pretty saggy and baggy but that doesn't really bother me too much as I think a good bra will make them look just fine in clothes. BTW mens bits get saggy baggy and wrinkly too with age. I wonder if your male coworker has bothered to notice. Guess he's too consumed with worrying about your bits to notice his own. LOL but seriously, I let someone shame me into getting these stupid things and I don't want fear and shame to be the reason I keep them.
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...thank you so much for that (so relieved)...your comments have really helped. I must admit my fears too are decreasing regarding co-workers noticing any change...partly due to suggestions of padded bras and chicken fillets..and I loved the comment about my male friend. (it had never crossed my mind but now you mention it....)It's very true....he has what society would call noticeable imperfection himself, (he is still a very handsome chappy) but reading your comment has made me smile because you are in fact spot on...I think the mere suggestion that he had any imperfections would astonish him and be immediately dismissed without regard as total and absolute nonsense....and regarding mens bits....I'm glad you pointed that out, I think we need reminding of that more often..and so do the men...but I think i may have to do some research and check that out for myself lol;-) ;-) just joking lol xx
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How far I've come in the past few weeks amazes me. Just had a good laugh with my hubby over our man bits convo. That's a first for me! I have a pair of the silicone bra inserts that I used to pad one side as both my children would only nurse off the one breast and they add a lot so I don't think anyone will notice afterwards if you use those.
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...yes, I've been looking at those on the internet. there appears to be quite a good choice. Do they make you sweat a little as the ones I store in the shopping mall looked as though they may:-)
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Yes they do sweat a bit but I used to just quickly rinse and dry them at the end of the day. I will probably try to find some type of bra with a pocket to put them in. I haven't really looked yet to see whats available.
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We do this for us NOT to get or keep a guy. I have the same fears about my bf......that he won't be satisfied with my flat chest. Some words of wisdom shared with me by a male dance teacher when I asked him what attracted him to his gf. He said "she knows her worth".
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WOW. Amazing thing to say, and something REALLY important to take in and remember. Thanks, T.
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...I don't know how to reply to that really. I'll try. If my comments have implied that I think breast implants will get or keep a guy, that is not what I have meant. On the whole I am completely at peace with myself...I know I am a good person inside and love my body and what I have been blessed with on the outside. I consider myself very lucky indeed. I can't however deny that breast implants have made me feel sexy and feminine and not least empowered. In my opinion almost all men will strain to look at a girl with big breasts, and if she's amazingly pretty too...they will practically unscrew their heads to look...but I don't think it necessarily means anything. The thing is, us women armed with that knowledge can misbehave! and basically it can backfire and bite us in the bum! I'm going to own this lol. I'm going to update my profile and own this!! Please don't worry about your guy, they may turn to have a peek, but I'm sure that's all. Let's be fair here...if we saw several mans bit's hanging out...we would automatically be drawn to looking at a man with larger bits...but it doesn't mean we are unhappy with our mans bits or that we want a man for keeps just because he has big bits...but the trouble is we women and men too can read my update...I'm owning this one!
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I want to get rid of my implants too (my before boobs looked better then after BA - albeit smaller) and the only thing holding me back is the fear of what I'll look like after. It's horrible isn't it, wish there was some way they could predict the outcome. Anyway at the moment, I'm leaning towards removal and giving myself time to heal and then take it from there. They have to come out one day so my theory is the less time I have them, the better the possible outcome?! X
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...It is awful, I agree....and I so wish they could show you pictures of what you would look like after the removal or wake you half way through and say look! this is what you have, now how do you want to proceed lol ...that would make it a walk in the park!:-)...well almost. Anyway, I have been given a few options which I have is have my implants out and nothing else done, the second is if after removal I want replacement I can replace with a slightly smaller implant than I have at the moment, when the pocket has closed, and that way it's possible without a lift but I would have to wait a considerable time for the pocket to close and heal. The other option is to have them removed, a lift and a smaller implant all at the same time. Then if I develop any problems with the second implants the choice would be straight forward, a removal, no questions and I would have to live with the fact that to have a third replacement would be silly as my chances of further problems would be greatly increased, but if I didn't have any problems with new implants, I would elect to have them removed anyway at around age 63-67 (this is an age when I don't think I would be bothered as much about having implants and I wouldn't want surgery electively beyond that age). I have decided on removal...see the result and then if I don't feel comfortable (ie I feel insecure, lack of confidence and not feminine) I can wait a while for the pocket to close and then have a replacement without the lift. I do think I have to get on with it soon as my CC breast is becoming much harder and I agree that I think the sooner the better and hopefully a better result.xx
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Sounds like a good plan to me! X
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I'm so sorry to see that you're having a tough time. First of all, your co-workers are just awful and should NOT be treating you like that! Nor should you have to worry about their reactions to your very personal decision. Secondly, the male friend you told is just being a man. They're all obsessed with boobs and bombarded by pics of perfect ones, they forget just what a burden it is to have CC, cancer, discomfort, etc. And finally, this is YOUR decision! If you feel removal without replacement is the right thing to do, then do it. Don't let fears of what others may think deter you from making the right choice for yourself. I've seen some implant removal pics 6 months to a year post-op after large implants, and they look just beautiful. I think you should have the removal, and if you aren't pleased in 6-12 months, consider your options at that point. If you're really worried about what others will think, you could wear the gel inserts in your bra for a while and then gradually decrease the size of the inserts over time. Then no one would pay much attention. I wish you the very best, and I am anxious to follow your story! Bless you for being so real and sharing your story. :)
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...thank you for your encouraging words...I am trying to stay focused and I am looking into the gel inserts and well padded bras and hopefully that will do the trick :-)
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My friend uses them all the time, they work really great! Keep your chin up dear. :)
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You cannot quantify the happiness you'll have; any dread of saggy and baggy should be eclipsed by that gacy
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...I know that's true and that I will feel healthier....I just have to stay focused.
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OF COURSE those words would make you crazy!!! Of course you have those conflicting feelings about your health vs your appearance. How could we women escape from a lifetime of programming? Especially when you have your fears "validated" and your shame triggered by a guy. (Btw, would your friend, or most men, have penis implants to look sexier for women? Ha!) And even without all the crap that society and men in particular lay on us, I think it's basically natural to have an aesthetic. I think the thing to remember is that IF there is more sagging than you feel good about, you can always have a lift, and the scars mostly go away. My personal attitude is that I don't care what size I am as long as my shape is as nice as possible. My surgery is scheduled for the beginning of May, and believe me, I'm nervous about the same stuff you are! But when I'm worried about not having a good result, I look at the photos here and read about the experiences of these great women, and I feel stronger and more positive. I can tell from what you said that you CAN stay focused. xxxx
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Lol Men having penis implants!! Well said! And you give great advice as well. :)
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...thank you so much for your made me laugh and cry too. I needed some encouragement but I too think I have the strength to stay focused. Let me know how your surgery goes. xx :-)xx
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Thanks. What you said helps me. :)))
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I wish it would have dawned on me to ask my ex husband to get a penis implant 18 years ago when he manipulated me into getting implants. LOL
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