My BR Experience - Edmonton, AB

I was always a small, slender girl growing up. My breasts developed normally, maybe even a little bit slower than everyone else's my age. I was most happy with my breast size in about Grade 9 or 10, when they were hovering between a full B/small C cup. I was about as tall as I would get, but my breasts were not done yet. Grade 11 saw them continue to grow and was the first time I remember feeling a little out of control and embarrassed of the chest situation. Not believing it was happening, I stayed in a C cup for about a year and kept moving up band sizes. I remember at one stage, when I was 16, wearing a 36C bra that did not fit at all.

At the end of that year, I broke up with my first serious boyfriend and took up running. It was hard (read: impossible) to find a bra that contained the girls enough to feel comfortable running. I too went through the double-bra-for-athletics stage and eventually found one in a sports store in a D/DD size that sort of did the trick. I remember paying what I thought was a whopping $50 for it, and when I showed it to my mom, her jaw dropped open and she said it looked like a surgical bra (how ironic). I'll never forget that.

In Grade 12, it was time to go grad dress shopping, and though I was about 5'5 and maybe 130lbs, I feared I'd not find a dress that fit my chest. The day I went dress shopping was the first day I ever got properly fitted for a bra...I was a 30F! While the new letter embarrassed me to no end, finally having my breasts separated, supported, and under control elated me, and I was so excited about all the clothes I could now wear (including a beautiful strapless gown I ended up wearing to my high school graduation).

Enter: the university years aka second puberty? Residence life, binge drinking, and eating greasy food caused me to gain the classic Freshman 15, but for every pound my body gained, it felt like my breasts gained 10. By the end of second year, I was fed up with feeling out of control of my breasts again and went in for another bra fitting. The verdict? 30H, and $100 for every bra I'd ever buy from then on.

I've since lost lots of the weight I gained during those first crazy years in post-secondary, but my breasts have stayed the same size (if not continued to grow). For the past two years, I've hovered between a 30-32 band and worn between a G-H cup. Too. Damn. Big.

I've been through it all, ladies, every #hugeboobproblem you can possibly think of. Disgustingly expensive, ill-fitting lingerie. Stretch marks on the girls. Constant aching back pain. Stabbing pains when standing for long periods. Embarrassment/self-conciousness during exercise. Shirts that never fit properly. Terrible posture. Looking WAY bigger than you actually are. Inappropriate remarks directed at the boobies. Size never carried in regular stores. Impossible to purchase bathing suits. Buttons popping open. Sagging, unattractive breast appearance. Chafing, bleeding, scarring on the ribcage. Irritation between the breasts. Industrial-looking, 4 hook bras. I'm not sure if this is common, but I've personally always felt self-conscious letting men anywhere near them (though no man has ever raised a concern...). Most importantly (to me), I am an avid runner (4x half marathon finisher) and outdoor enthusiast, and my breasts are impeding my ability to enjoy physical activity and stay fit and healthy the way I need to be. The list goes on, and I have a million stories to tell about how horrible it is to have breasts this size, but it's only now that I've decided to do something about it.

After many years (years!) of research and consideration, thinking and re-thinking, and trying to convince myself that I was meant to have these breasts and they were here to stay, I got fed up. A few weeks ago, I finally went to the drop-in clinic at my university (to a doctor I've seen before), to see what could be done about this. When I told him I had been experiencing chronic back pain since 11th grade, he didn't flinch. When I continued on to say that I think a breast reduction would alleviate these symptoms and many others, he looked shocked. "Are they really that big? Sit up straight...let me see...wow, they are enormous. What size do you wear? WHAT?! A 30G? Do they even make that?! Oh my god. Let's get you to a surgeon."

Needless to say, I cried my way through that visit...but all embarrassment aside, my doctor was very supportive and wrote a letter to a local PS making my case for me. I just received a call last week, and though my initial consultation isn't until Dec 4th, I wanted to get a head start on sharing my story here with fellow well-endowed women who might just understand.

And as a side note, if I have one more small-chested woman say "poor you" when I raise complaints about my large chest, I am going to lose it.

My consultation got moved from the 4th of December to the 17th of December. Apparently my Dr is operating on people that day! Still running, staying active, and biding my time until the consult rolls around.

The consultation got pushed back another day to the 18th. I want to be mad, but if my surgeon is in the OR so often, that can mean nothing but good things for me, right? I am getting so so so excited to see how this all goes down. Thinking/dreaming about being free of this burden all the time lately. Will post pics soon!

Finally took some photos to give people a better idea of what I'm dealing with- hoping someone out there will find it helpful! Hoping to get some photos of what I look like in clothing, too. My doctor told me (and I already knew) that my collarbones are swayed inward from the weight of my breasts and my shoulders/delts are waaay overdeveloped and rounded for the size of girl I am. I hope they flatten out when they no longer have no much work to do! Feeling those classic, sharp, tight shoulder pains as I type this. Way too fun! ...

Just under three weeks til consult #1. So excited to find out when the big day is.

Trying to stay motivated during this long, long wait for the process to get moving.

Finally got in for my consultation today and we are going ahead with the surgery as planned! I am still waiting to hear back from the office as to the exact date of the procedure, but it's expected to be sometime at the end of March as of right now. The office manager put me on a cancellation/extra operation day list as well in case something changes and I could go in on shorter notice. I have to admit that it's a longer wait than I was hoping for, but at the same time my consultation got pushed back TWICE due to extra operating days so a) I feel somewhat confident that it could get moved closer, b) I'm busy and the time will pass quickly, and c) I know I am one of the younger candidates for this surgery so I'm just happy to be in there at all.

The consultation itself was very painless. My surgeon was RIGHT ON TIME (this has never, ever happened to me in any medical setting before). He already knew my name and was familiar with my history (without looking at his chart). He asked me some questions about my symptoms, medical history, and goals for the operation. He looked at my breasts and took some measurements (for a grand total of

(half of my last entry just disappeared?) :(. Anyway I'll paraphrase:

>60 seconds), and then explained the procedure to me in detail. He's young, but I'm confident he'll do a great job. My only concern is that he seems to lean toward wanting to leave women bigger rather than smaller. Because my reasons for having the operation are mostly centred around back/shoulder pain and improving my ability to be physically active, my priority is functionality, not aesthetics. I want to be able to strap these puppies down and will be very disappointed if I'm left with a size that still requires me to buy specialty bras. He said we will talk about it again on the day of surgery, and I'll make sure he knows how I feel. He did also mention that he's fairly confident that I will be required to formula feed any children I do decide to have in the future. This is one of the primary reasons I have put off scheduling a surgery for the past 4-5 years: I am very adamant about breastfeeding and always thought I could wait. It makes me feel sad and selfish that I would have this procedure knowing that it's not in the best interests of my (future) children. I've struggled with this for years now and will likely continue to struggle with it in years to come. Ultimately, though, this is the right thing to do for my health and happiness, and so I am continuing on with the procedure as planned albeit this feeling quite heartbreaking for me. With all that said, I'm VERY excited and can't wait to see how the rest of the journey unfolds.
Until next time!