Accepting my natural self

Have implants 12yrs now, went from 32A to 32C. Was...

Have implants 12yrs now, went from 32A to 32C. Was happy for about a yr then felt really ashamed of what I had done, afraid of peoples comments & feeling like a fake. Although I love them in the bedroom, I have been unhappy for some time. I have recently found out that one has ruptured and needs to be removed or replaced. I am nearly settled on removal for good.

I am scared to death that my partner will not find me attractive anymore as he didn't know me before them. I am scared to death that I will find me not attractive anymore. My self esteem has always been very low and boobs didn't sort it out either. It's something deep within me that needs to be looked at. I look at the pressure put on women to look a certain way and I feel angry.
I wish I never made the decision to do it in the first place.

Removal of implants booked for 16th Jan. Not...

Removal of implants booked for 16th Jan. Not feeling so bad about it. Pray everyday I will be happy with the end result.

Well it's 24hrs away and I'm feeling strangely...

Well it's 24hrs away and I'm feeling strangely calm.
I've been getting upset at the thoughts of my appearance after the surgery forgetting that I have chosen this option and my reasons for it. Had one of them not ruptured I would not have even considered having them removed. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe tomorrow starts a new journey for me, one that involves me accepting my lovely self as I am.
I am a strong woman but strong as I am I will need time to adapt. Thankfully my partner is supportive but has said he likes big boobs and that makes me sad.
I pray that he still finds me attractive afterwards and that this won't strain our relationship. We are getting married in May this year. My hen's party will be my next night out without my big girls :-(
My flight to Birmingham is at 630 tomorrow morning. I will be collected from the airport by The Hospital Group driver then admitted. I don't have an exact time that I'll be operated on, I just hope I'm not waiting half the day. I want it over and on my road to recovery as quick as possible.

Had early flight to hospital this morning. Am now...

Had early flight to hospital this morning. Am now waiting to be seen by
anesthesia person and surgeon. they expect mine will be done this afternoon.
Have been fasting so am not happy with the wait, no water either.
thankfully this is only 1 day of my life.
Im feeling calm now but have had my tears today already. I shared a car with a girl having them in and remembered how excited i was getting them in. I almost wish I was here under different circumstances. Tomorrow will see the start of me facing my demons of insecurity & low self esteem. On a positive note by choosing explant is 1 to self esteem and nil to demon!

Its 5.07 and i haven't been down to theatre yet....

Its 5.07 and i haven't been down to theatre yet. Am famished and not happy. I expected to be well into recovery by now!

The bags are out! Im feeling good so far but still...

The bags are out! Im feeling good so far but still a little sleepy.
I got the implants so i could give them a funeral of some sort. Thanks so much to all the brave ladies that told their story which gave me the courage to do it myself.
Im not concerned with how they look now, as i know time is a wonderful healer!

Looking in the mirror this looks like the real me...

looking in the mirror this looks like the real me and it feels good :-) still in a bit of pain as i had cc removed from 1. i know ill find it difficult to take it easy, Im not 1 te sit around doing nothing.

7 days post op- It's starting to hit home that I'm...

7 days post op- It's starting to hit home that I'm natural again. Had a bit of a barney with hubby to be because he wouldn't give me a straight answer if he liked them or not. He had wanted me to re-implant but supported my decision not to. My insecurity got the better of me last night. I've still some work to do on building my self worth and I need to chop the belief that I need to be attractive to men. Truth is ~ I just need to be attracted to myself and the rest will look after itself!
I still don't regret my decision though just need to be kind to my beautiful natural self. I would encourage anyone who has been feeling not happy with their implants to take them out, feel the fear & do it anyway. Give two fingers to society/ media and their unfair, unrealistic ideas of how women should look!
I read an article recently on how much young girls are under pressure these days to look a certain way and how it is causing all sorts of emotional and mental problems for them. We girls are taking a stand and I feel proud of myself for doing so :-)

Haven't needed to take pain medication in 2 days....

Haven't needed to take pain medication in 2 days. My Boobs actually move now :-) They are still a little sore to touch and 1 side a little swollen but all is well. Treated myself to a wash & blow dry today and have vowed to love myself a lot more from now on :-)

Went out shopping for bridesmaid dress yesterday,...

Went out shopping for bridesmaid dress yesterday, my first outing since explant. Found myself going back to old ways of comparing myself to others and being unhappy with myself. I AM my own worst enemy! Just need keep my thoughts in check and remember Im beautiful as I Am. Suppose Im still adapting :-\

Over 2 weeks post explant now, still some minor...

Over 2 weeks post explant now, still some minor discomfort. I took the bandages off yesterday & was pleasantly surprised when they didn't droop any further, they're still looking good & seem to be getting better & better all the time. I think its hitting home now as I've been feeling quite emotional the past few days, its not regret though its just grieving the end of a chapter in my life.

My breasts are changing everyday. I love the nice...

My breasts are changing everyday. I love the nice natural feel. My partner loves them now :-)
My first night out with them will be tomorrow, I'm hoping I will be oozing confidence without them.

I had a check up with my surgeon today and he is...

I had a check up with my surgeon today and he is very happy with the results after 5 wks. Im very happy myself, couldn't have had a better outcome. For any girls feeling unhappy with their implants, just do what you feel is best for you! Don't worry about it cos the human body has amazing healing ability:-)

I can't thank my lucky stars enough that I found...

I can't thank my lucky stars enough that I found Mr Hassan Sulamain, every other surgeon I visited told me I would look dreadful after explant. He told me to follow my heart, that in 3 months the skin would shrink back. I would highly recommend him to any Irish or UK girls looking to explant!

6.5 weeks post explant and I went back running for...

6.5 weeks post explant and I went back running for the first time since. I wore 2 bras to be sure they didn't move too much and just did gentle 30mins. There is some mild uncomfortable feelings in my breasts but feeling good overall!

Well it's been 8weeks since removal. The swelling...

Well it's been 8weeks since removal. The swelling has gone down completely leaving my boobies a bit smaller with stretch marks more noticeable.
I went underwear shopping today.... I thought I would be a 32A but my breast's are still as wide as the implants and I had a good bit of loose skin under my arm. I wasn't happy in the shop but bought some anyway and decided I would try them on again at home. After trying them on at home I felt much better, the lighting in the shop did me no favours! Having said all this, I still would not change the explant. I'm overall very happy, I love being me :-)

I got properly fitted for a bra today, Im 32c I...

I got properly fitted for a bra today, Im 32c I was that with the implants in! Im not quite filling it but OMG what a difference it makes to my profile :-)

Coming up on 11wks post and I've never felt more...

coming up on 11wks post and I've never felt more sexy and beautiful. Had photoshoot for work and was thinkin to myself how great I look and feel now.
hubby has noticed they are bigger now too :-)

Well it's been nearly 15 wks since I took the leap...

Well it's been nearly 15 wks since I took the leap to implant free and I have to say I have never been happier. My breasts have really settled now and apart from the scars you could never tell the horrors my poor boobs have been through. I will post new pics soon.
I am due to get married this Friday 3rd May and it will be a happy, enjoyable & natural day.
I still had the implants when I picked my dress, then when I tried it on without them I was so disappointed at the gaping part where there used to be implants but now my dress fits perfectly and I look amazing in it.
I thank God that I found this site when I did, it really helped me make my decision with all the stories of brave women who just did it.
So to all of you who encouraged & comforted me during my journey to natural - A BIG HUGE Thank you x x

old habits

Well it's true old habits die hard!! I spent a good chunk of my honeymoon comparing myself to other women and feeling bad about myself. I still have myself convinced that to be attractive to my hubby I need have big breasts even though he assures me he finds me attractive. On saying all this I would not change my explant I love that I'm natural and actually felt sad for women with implants while away. I just need to sort my head and thoughts out!! I will post pics soon x
Dr Hassan Sulamain

Having visited a few ps who were blunt telling me they would be empty sacks. I found one who was a bit more compassionate, saying they would settle in roughly 3 months.

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
1 out of 5 stars Wait tmes
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Comments (101)

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Your boobs look amazing! No sagging and you definitely have loads of breast tissue. I hope mine look as good. I've had mine in for 12 years too. Explant date can't come soon enough! I'm scared but I think all the ladies here are too. This site has really helped reassure me that I'm making the right choice.
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Your breasts look so cute and beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story. You are one brave and strong lady x
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I understand the "old habits" routine. Catch myself doing the same thing. Like you though, I wouldn't want to go back to how I was. I saw a woman who just had hers done and she is in that excited frame of mind we feel when we first get them... I reminded myself that it doesn't stay that way. They change, hers will change, she may have to have revisions, and no thank you. I am glad to not have to have that headache!
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Glad I'm not alone in this! It's so comforting, thanks x
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thanks for sharing!
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Your results are very good! And even if they hadn't been- there is so much more to life than the size or texture of one's boobs! I really truly believe that smaller is better, now. It's still just as sexy and far more practical for everyday life. If you would like to do some more reading than can help you, I highly recommend the book The Mass Market Woman. It takes work, but you can stop judging aspects of yourself as "good" and "bad". And when you can love yourself, others naturally will, too. Any person who judges you over your boobs has his or her own sad issues to wrestle with. You will be dead some day. Make the most of today! Be strong and healthy and give love, especially to yourself! This way of thinking has been hard-earned for me, but I'm so glad to finally be here!
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Thanks for your support. I'm taking steps to help my negative self image. It's all good! Hope you're well x x
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HI Scaredstiff, its so great reading through your journey - you sound exactly how I feel , as im sure most others felt. Ashamed and angry I got implants , worrying what I will look like post explant and worrying what my partner will think of me as he also has never seen me pre implant. Your story gives me hope that everything will be fine and turn out all right, and everyone elses stories on here have helped me so much. I will be getting mine removed in a few months. I keep having doubts about it but I feel deep down its the right thing to do to get them out, and when I read how people feel a few weeks after explant it just gives me the confidence to go for it knowing that I will feel better for it. tanks so much for sharing your story and helping people in the same boat x
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You won't regret doing it! We are all so brave :-)
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I remember your story and thought to my self that girl looks good!!! It feels great huh!!! Hugs to you! My dream is to go to Scotland and Ireland some day:-)
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It's definitely a process to adjust to your new self and may take some time.  You look great and your new hubby sounds very supportive!
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Yes, congrats on your wedding! What a "real" and smart way to start your married life together. You are ahead of a number of us, so thanks for the inspiration!
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Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!! This is definitely the start of a new phase in your life!!
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Congratulations you look amazing. Enjoy your big day and many blessing to you and your almost husband. lol
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You look wonderful! Thanks so much for sharing your story and congratulations on your upcoming wedding! May you and your husband-to-be always be as happy as are on your wedding day!
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Hi, a huge congratulations to you :o) I'm over the moon to hear how happy you are and your big day is Friday! Have a wonderful day and THANK YOU too. You were one of the first posts I looked at earlier this year before I joined! I explant July! You give me hope! Very best wishes for Fri. Enjoy :o) x
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I'm so happy to have followed your story. Do you know how to get in contact with your surgeon?
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He is with the hospital group. I would highly recommend him, he gave me hope :-)
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Thank you for the answer :) I'm not from the UK but the surgeons I've meet in Denmark don't want to give me smaller implantswithout also making a breast lift, so now I'm looking elsewhere in the EU. I have capsular contraction and don't know if I want smaller implants or just have them removed alltogether (I've always thought my surgeon made way too big breasts on me). I've found the homepage of the hospital group, but do you know how and where your surgeon works? I would like to get some more information about him :)
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by the way your breasts are really beautiful and it gives me hope :)
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As far as I know he works from both Ireland and UK. I'm not sure if he works in other EU countries. Maybe give them a call?
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Thanks so much x x Wish you all the best too
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I am so happy that you are feeling better about yourself. God Bless You. You have given me thought of confidence. Mary6151
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wow you have such beautiful results well done xxx
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I feel the same way 3 months after, so happy!!
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