Accepting my natural self

Have implants 12yrs now, went from 32A to 32C. Was...

Have implants 12yrs now, went from 32A to 32C. Was happy for about a yr then felt really ashamed of what I had done, afraid of peoples comments & feeling like a fake. Although I love them in the bedroom, I have been unhappy for some time. I have recently found out that one has ruptured and needs to be removed or replaced. I am nearly settled on removal for good.

I am scared to death that my partner will not find me attractive anymore as he didn't know me before them. I am scared to death that I will find me not attractive anymore. My self esteem has always been very low and boobs didn't sort it out either. It's something deep within me that needs to be looked at. I look at the pressure put on women to look a certain way and I feel angry.
I wish I never made the decision to do it in the first place.

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. Thanks for starting your story on RealSelf. Maybe a long, sit-down talk with your partner will help you feel better about it.

Please keep us posted!

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Will be booking the surgery in the next few days. Feeling a little better about it I think. Will update when booked :-)
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Go for it girl, it's about you and your health. If you don't do it now, you will need to do it sometime in the future, we've all been there saying what if ?? Mine where removed for health reasons, I wish that I had found this site and done it a lot sooner 'cos then I wouldn't have ended up as sick. Mine came out just over 4 weeks ago and my surgeon did a great job with re - shaping my breasts, I will post new pics in a couple of weeks. Good luck xx
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Removal of implants booked for 16th Jan. Not...

Removal of implants booked for 16th Jan. Not feeling so bad about it. Pray everyday I will be happy with the end result.
Go for it and don't look bad! Everything will be fine... so many of us went through it. I had mine removed on Dec 4th and yes, they don't look as great but they feel amazing. I feel free and I love being small again. Good luck and on Jan 16th I will be thinking about another strong woman who said "NO!" to these toxic bags. Best wishes!
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You'll be fiiine! I just had mine explanted yesterday and am sooo happy! Good luck!
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So good to hear that! Congrats x x
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Well it's 24hrs away and I'm feeling strangely...

Well it's 24hrs away and I'm feeling strangely calm.
I've been getting upset at the thoughts of my appearance after the surgery forgetting that I have chosen this option and my reasons for it. Had one of them not ruptured I would not have even considered having them removed. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe tomorrow starts a new journey for me, one that involves me accepting my lovely self as I am.
I am a strong woman but strong as I am I will need time to adapt. Thankfully my partner is supportive but has said he likes big boobs and that makes me sad.
I pray that he still finds me attractive afterwards and that this won't strain our relationship. We are getting married in May this year. My hen's party will be my next night out without my big girls :-(
My flight to Birmingham is at 630 tomorrow morning. I will be collected from the airport by The Hospital Group driver then admitted. I don't have an exact time that I'll be operated on, I just hope I'm not waiting half the day. I want it over and on my road to recovery as quick as possible.
I too was scared of how I would react to being small again, but after waking up from surgey I haven't regretted it once! And my husband also hadn't seen me without my implants and admitted he probably wouldn't even have looked at me if it weren't for my big boobies but now he loves my little soft ones! Still a little afraid to touch them too much, but he thinks they look great (and I thought he was gonna make fun of me)! I'll be following your recovery and hope the results are acceptable in your eyes :-)
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Had early flight to hospital this morning. Am now...

Had early flight to hospital this morning. Am now waiting to be seen by
anesthesia person and surgeon. they expect mine will be done this afternoon.
Have been fasting so am not happy with the wait, no water either.
thankfully this is only 1 day of my life.
Im feeling calm now but have had my tears today already. I shared a car with a girl having them in and remembered how excited i was getting them in. I almost wish I was here under different circumstances. Tomorrow will see the start of me facing my demons of insecurity & low self esteem. On a positive note by choosing explant is 1 to self esteem and nil to demon!

Its 5.07 and i haven't been down to theatre yet....

Its 5.07 and i haven't been down to theatre yet. Am famished and not happy. I expected to be well into recovery by now!

The bags are out! Im feeling good so far but still...

The bags are out! Im feeling good so far but still a little sleepy.
I got the implants so i could give them a funeral of some sort. Thanks so much to all the brave ladies that told their story which gave me the courage to do it myself.
Im not concerned with how they look now, as i know time is a wonderful healer!
thanks all for your words of support x
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Congrats and best wishes for a speedy recovery from Canada!!! Don't feel down just remember... you can always have them back but I think you will love it, just give it some time. Keep us posted.
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feeling good. had little peek and they look good. happy so far with my decision :-)
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Looking in the mirror this looks like the real me...

looking in the mirror this looks like the real me and it feels good :-) still in a bit of pain as i had cc removed from 1. i know ill find it difficult to take it easy, Im not 1 te sit around doing nothing.
day 3 after still some pain. will try have a little walk today been doing nothing except eating & sleeping!
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will post some pictures soon.
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oops... meant to say "go for it and don't look back" :-) I'm glad to hear you feeling better!
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7 days post op- It's starting to hit home that I'm...

7 days post op- It's starting to hit home that I'm natural again. Had a bit of a barney with hubby to be because he wouldn't give me a straight answer if he liked them or not. He had wanted me to re-implant but supported my decision not to. My insecurity got the better of me last night. I've still some work to do on building my self worth and I need to chop the belief that I need to be attractive to men. Truth is ~ I just need to be attracted to myself and the rest will look after itself!
I still don't regret my decision though just need to be kind to my beautiful natural self. I would encourage anyone who has been feeling not happy with their implants to take them out, feel the fear & do it anyway. Give two fingers to society/ media and their unfair, unrealistic ideas of how women should look!
I read an article recently on how much young girls are under pressure these days to look a certain way and how it is causing all sorts of emotional and mental problems for them. We girls are taking a stand and I feel proud of myself for doing so :-)
You look beautiful! Yes let's be proud and recognize are true beauty! Hope you are healing great! Society can't shape are souls!
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You go girl, you're looking great already. Happy healing x
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I could relate to much of what you have said. Your encouragement and honesty is helpful. I am doing this for me- still worry about what my husband will think- even after 19 years of marriage. I remember feeling empowered when I got them in, but I think that I will feel even more empowered to get them out! I can't wait to feel natural again.
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Haven't needed to take pain medication in 2 days....

Haven't needed to take pain medication in 2 days. My Boobs actually move now :-) They are still a little sore to touch and 1 side a little swollen but all is well. Treated myself to a wash & blow dry today and have vowed to love myself a lot more from now on :-)
Congratulations! It took a couple of weeks, but my husband started to really appreciate the explant when I returned to my happy, energetic old self. It is scary in the beginning, I admit I haven't shown them to him yet and today is 1 month! But I don't feel as insecure now, because he makes so many nice comments about how my health is improving - showing me what he truly cares about :) You look great, hope you keep healing well!
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your husband will come around. He just needs a little time. I'm sure he will love them when he feels how nice and soft they are, :) you made the right choice. You look great!!!!
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Your boobs look beautiful and will continue to improve as time goes by, much nicer than big falsies , good luck with your hubby
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Went out shopping for bridesmaid dress yesterday,...

Went out shopping for bridesmaid dress yesterday, my first outing since explant. Found myself going back to old ways of comparing myself to others and being unhappy with myself. I AM my own worst enemy! Just need keep my thoughts in check and remember Im beautiful as I Am. Suppose Im still adapting :-\
you look great!!! Congrats to you.
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It took me weeks to accept my real self. I was sad and upset at first, but I must confess that I am very happy I explanted. Its been 4 months for me and I am healthy. My breast look like they did before implants and probably better. Ive been working out and started running not long ago. Give yourself time and you will see that everything falls back in to place. ((Hugs))
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Nice!!! Health is number one!
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Over 2 weeks post explant now, still some minor...

Over 2 weeks post explant now, still some minor discomfort. I took the bandages off yesterday & was pleasantly surprised when they didn't droop any further, they're still looking good & seem to be getting better & better all the time. I think its hitting home now as I've been feeling quite emotional the past few days, its not regret though its just grieving the end of a chapter in my life.

My breasts are changing everyday. I love the nice...

My breasts are changing everyday. I love the nice natural feel. My partner loves them now :-)
My first night out with them will be tomorrow, I'm hoping I will be oozing confidence without them.
congratulations to you and thank you so much. For sharing and your words of encouragement. mine come out next week. im looking forward to being myself again but nervous that i ruined my body. i hold onto the hope that ive only had them a year so maybe it wont be too bad. i thin you look great. like you never had them to start. hope i am as blessed. take care.
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you look lovely! i would neverhave known you had implants-lucky you!
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The only bad part of explant is that I can't run or do yoga for another 3wks.
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I had a check up with my surgeon today and he is...

I had a check up with my surgeon today and he is very happy with the results after 5 wks. Im very happy myself, couldn't have had a better outcome. For any girls feeling unhappy with their implants, just do what you feel is best for you! Don't worry about it cos the human body has amazing healing ability:-)

I can't thank my lucky stars enough that I found...

I can't thank my lucky stars enough that I found Mr Hassan Sulamain, every other surgeon I visited told me I would look dreadful after explant. He told me to follow my heart, that in 3 months the skin would shrink back. I would highly recommend him to any Irish or UK girls looking to explant!
You look amazing! Thanks for all of the photos showing your progress. It gives the rest of us hope. I am 5 days post explant and haven't had the courage to show my husband yet. Maybe in another week or two...
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thanks @smallagain. I was nervous showing mine too and there were cross words exchanged but he sees how much happier I am now. You look lovely in your pics so don't be afraid to show them off!
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Hi scaredstiff, u r amazing fpr sharing ur story. An thank u for sharing your pics! I had my implants removed yesterday. Like u they were pips an 1 had ruptured. I decided for health yo have them removd an learn to love my real self. I totally feel the same, I am so scared my partner wont fancy me anymore. I dont fancy myself. I have to keep tellin myselfits for the best but all I do is cry when I think of it. It angers me so much that I feel this way an really hope I can get over it. U r so brave showin pics, I cant even show my mum or anyone. Thank u again for writing ur sstory, u have given me reassurance that the skin will get better an that I am not alone. Ur brill!! Xx
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6.5 weeks post explant and I went back running for...

6.5 weeks post explant and I went back running for the first time since. I wore 2 bras to be sure they didn't move too much and just did gentle 30mins. There is some mild uncomfortable feelings in my breasts but feeling good overall!
So was your run comfortable. I can't wait till I can do that. You look great.
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Your pictures give me hope! You look amazing!!!
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You look great...natural breasts are just beautiful compared to implanted ones. Congrats on getting back to activities you enjoy. Keep us updated as you continue to heal.
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Well it's been 8weeks since removal. The swelling...

Well it's been 8weeks since removal. The swelling has gone down completely leaving my boobies a bit smaller with stretch marks more noticeable.
I went underwear shopping today.... I thought I would be a 32A but my breast's are still as wide as the implants and I had a good bit of loose skin under my arm. I wasn't happy in the shop but bought some anyway and decided I would try them on again at home. After trying them on at home I felt much better, the lighting in the shop did me no favours! Having said all this, I still would not change the explant. I'm overall very happy, I love being me :-)
You look fantastic! I love looking at pictures of women a few months out from explant as it gives me encouragement. Did you have your capsules removed or have drains afterwards? Are you wearing normal bras now or still in sports bras? Congratulations again on looking so good!
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I think your results are beautiful, just like real breasts are supposed to look like! You probably need a B or C cup because of the implants widening your breasts. I look like an A cup when I look at myself - but went to Victoria's Secret and was sized a 34C which I actually fit in the padded one nicely (shocked). I have pictures of it on my story. {{{HUGS}}}
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Hi! You're boobies look awesome! I got mine out almost 2 weeks ago. I love it. Hard adjustment and kind of feel like someone with a mastectomy but they get better everyday. I've had a few insecure moments and moments of let down but I just remind myself how big and uncomfortable not to mention painful they were and all that negativity goes away. I'm happy I did it and can't wait for the 6 week mark to be totally heeled and exercising again! Good luck to you!
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I got properly fitted for a bra today, Im 32c I...

I got properly fitted for a bra today, Im 32c I was that with the implants in! Im not quite filling it but OMG what a difference it makes to my profile :-)
Thank you for your story! And sharing all your ups and downs, iy is very inspiring . I think you look perfect! Happy healing to you
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I'm so glad you went and got a proper fitting bra. It does make a world of difference. Keep us updated. Postivive healing thoughts to you.
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I'm so glad I got to read your story. What an inspiration! I recently had a BA for many of the same reasons you stated, and already I'm considering taking them out. The only thing I'm afraid of is having too much loose skin under my arms...I hope I look as good as you after my explant.
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Coming up on 11wks post and I've never felt more...

coming up on 11wks post and I've never felt more sexy and beautiful. Had photoshoot for work and was thinkin to myself how great I look and feel now.
hubby has noticed they are bigger now too :-)
I'm so happy to have followed your story. Do you know how to get in contact with your surgeon?
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He is with the hospital group. I would highly recommend him, he gave me hope :-)
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Thank you for the answer :) I'm not from the UK but the surgeons I've meet in Denmark don't want to give me smaller implantswithout also making a breast lift, so now I'm looking elsewhere in the EU. I have capsular contraction and don't know if I want smaller implants or just have them removed alltogether (I've always thought my surgeon made way too big breasts on me). I've found the homepage of the hospital group, but do you know how and where your surgeon works? I would like to get some more information about him :)
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Well it's been nearly 15 wks since I took the leap...

Well it's been nearly 15 wks since I took the leap to implant free and I have to say I have never been happier. My breasts have really settled now and apart from the scars you could never tell the horrors my poor boobs have been through. I will post new pics soon.
I am due to get married this Friday 3rd May and it will be a happy, enjoyable & natural day.
I still had the implants when I picked my dress, then when I tried it on without them I was so disappointed at the gaping part where there used to be implants but now my dress fits perfectly and I look amazing in it.
I thank God that I found this site when I did, it really helped me make my decision with all the stories of brave women who just did it.
So to all of you who encouraged & comforted me during my journey to natural - A BIG HUGE Thank you x x
Yes, congrats on your wedding! What a "real" and smart way to start your married life together. You are ahead of a number of us, so thanks for the inspiration!
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Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!! This is definitely the start of a new phase in your life!!
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Congratulations you look amazing. Enjoy your big day and many blessing to you and your almost husband. lol
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old habits

Well it's true old habits die hard!! I spent a good chunk of my honeymoon comparing myself to other women and feeling bad about myself. I still have myself convinced that to be attractive to my hubby I need have big breasts even though he assures me he finds me attractive. On saying all this I would not change my explant I love that I'm natural and actually felt sad for women with implants while away. I just need to sort my head and thoughts out!! I will post pics soon x
Your boobs look amazing! No sagging and you definitely have loads of breast tissue. I hope mine look as good. I've had mine in for 12 years too. Explant date can't come soon enough! I'm scared but I think all the ladies here are too. This site has really helped reassure me that I'm making the right choice.
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Your breasts look so cute and beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story. You are one brave and strong lady x
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I understand the "old habits" routine. Catch myself doing the same thing. Like you though, I wouldn't want to go back to how I was. I saw a woman who just had hers done and she is in that excited frame of mind we feel when we first get them... I reminded myself that it doesn't stay that way. They change, hers will change, she may have to have revisions, and no thank you. I am glad to not have to have that headache!
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Dr Hassan Sulamain

Having visited a few ps who were blunt telling me they would be empty sacks. I found one who was a bit more compassionate, saying they would settle in roughly 3 months.

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
1 out of 5 stars Wait times
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